Ponies:Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Friendship

by MasterBlaster

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Violence, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Anthro, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure
Length: 3062

The story of MLP in an alternate Timeline

A full scale retooling of the show

Twilight Sparkle is always rushing around trying to cram her studies and never had time for “friends” as a response her teacher/mother figure sends her to Ponyville to “get your ass out more and make some damned friends!” With her assistant/brother figure Spike in tow Twilight will get herself into all kinds of crazy situations

Violence Tag for some light blood and some fight scenes later on

Published 2020-07-04 19:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-04 19:30:00 UTC

The One Where Twilight Meets a Dragon

Canterlot, Equestria. 990 A.B

Twilight wondered through the cave, a million thoughts rushing through her head. Here she was a young girl of 9 and she was being sent to kill a dragon. And she thought the test that Celestia would give her would be something else like levitating rocks or something written. She didn’t expect anything involving a dragon! She knew little of the creatures other then what she was told by the many books she read. Former leader of Equestria before Celestia was a dragon and he was a ruthless dictator and ended up getting overthrown by Celestia and her sister only for said sister to try and take the throne for herself and now she’s stuck on the moon.

Twilight stopped and drank some water. She had been given two large bottles and a few bags of food. She thought back to when she was first given the task..

“A dragon has been causing a bit of trouble in the palace gardens. It lives in a cave further up the mountain. I want you find it and kill it. Do this and you may just have a place in my Academy,” Twilight sighed before getting back up and continuing onwards.

“Why not a written test? Why send a nine year old to do this? What is she thinking?” Twilight said to herself annoyed. She continued onward before coming to a large chamber.

“This must be it,” Twilight dropped her pack and readied her horn. She didn’t know any spells that could kill a dragon but she hoped to at least stun or wound it before finishing it off.

She heard a noise a little bit to the right and saw a shadow darting past her. She shot a spell at the shadow and missed. Spell after spell was shot at the shadow. Finally Twilight heard the unmistakable gasp of pain. She made a hit. She drew her dagger and walked towards the shadow who backed away in fear.

“No please don’t kill me,” The figure said frightened. Twilight stopped. The figure didn’t sound anything like an adult dragon. It didn’t sound much older then her. She made her horn glow brighter and she saw the figure. It was a dragon alright but it was only a child. Didn’t look much older then her.

“Please..dont.....” The young dragon pleaded.

“You-but your just a child,” Twilight said in awe.

“Well so are you....” The dragon replied.

No this had to be a trick. Maybe this was the son of the dragon.

“Wheres the other Dragon?” Twilight asked in a commanding tone.

“W-what other dragon?” The dragon asked confused.

“The one who’s been terrorizing Canterlot! Your father!” Twilight shouted. The young dragon looked down.

“I don’t have a father..there’s no one else...just me..always has been,” The dragon said sadly. Twilight’s look softened. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for the dragon. She looked at the wound she made. It hit the dragon on the leg. Twilight let out a sigh before reaching into her bag and pulling out some bandages and working on the dragons leg.

“What are you doing?” The dragon asked confused.

“I know I was sent to kill you but your just a child. I can’t kill you..I’m going to get you out of here and I’m gonna get you back to the Dragonlands,” Twilight explained as she patched up the wound.

“Can you walk?” Twilight asked. The dragon slowly got up and started walking.

“Yeah...” The dragon said.

“Names Twilight,” Twilight said reaching out her hand.

“..Spike..my name is Spike,” Spike replied shaking Twilights hand. Twilight and Spike started to wonder through the cave.

“You know what your doing can be considered treason. They could lock you up for this,” Spike explained.

“Even if they do at least my conscious would be clean. It would better to do the right thing then the easy thing,” Twilight said. Spike looked at Twilight in awe.

“Your..very kind. Ponies tend to be afraid of dragons..always calling them foul beasts,” Spike said sadly.

“You don’t seem much like a beast to me,” Twilight replied.

“Guess no one has really met a baby dragon before,” Spike said.

“Probably not,” Twilight replied. The duo continued on until coming to the exit. The lights of Canterlot shimmered down below.

“How do you plan on getting past all that?” Spike asked.

“There are sewer tunnels. We could go in through the run off on this side of the mountain, get through the tunnels and we’ll come out at the bottom of the mountain. From then on as long as we avoid the roads I can get you to the Dragonlands,” Twilight explained.

“Sounds like a plan,” Spike said. Right before the duo continued on a bright light surrounded them.

“And just what do you think your doing?!” A loud commanding female voice shouted. Standing before them was Princess Celestia. Spike backed away in fear.

“I told you to kill him!” Celestia shouted in anger.

Twilight was frightened. What would happen to her? Would she be executed? Sent to the moon like Luna? Tartarus? She took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry your highness but I couldn’t do it. He’s only a child. He doesn’t know any better. I know what I’m doing is treason but this is the right thing to do. Try and stop me all you want but he is going back to his home. Killing him is not the right thing to do. If you want to toss me in prison afterwards go right ahead but please just let me get him home,” Twilight pleaded. She expected to be blasted to pieces right then and there. It was worth a shot. To her surprise Celestia smiled.

“He is home..” Celestia said in a soft tone. Spike then went and stood next to the Princess.

“Congratulations,” Spike said in a happy tone.

“Wait...what?” Twilight asked confused.

“You passed the test. You showed kindness to another and sought to protect him even if it meant your own death. You stood strong and faced danger head on. The real test was doing the right thing,” Celestia explained.

“So..I’m in your academy?” Twilight asked.

“Not only that. I’m making you my personal student. And Spike here will be your assistant,” Celestia said. Spike gave a little bow. Twilight thought she was dreaming. This had to be a dream.

“No your not dreaming,” Celestia said with a light giggle. Spike stood next to Twilight.

“Well boss..whats our first move?” Spike asked.

“Y-you can just call me Twilight..” Twilight stuttered still struggling to compose herself.

“Well Twilight..this seems to be the start of a good relationship,” Spike replies laughing.

“I thought-“ Twilight began before being cut off by a laughing Celestia.

“Come on Twilight use your brain. You really think I’d have you kill my son?” Celestia asked.

Twilight then promptly fainted.

Author's Note

A little something different compared to my usual fare of dark, dreary, violent, depressing, blah blah blah. Hope y’all enjoy it!

This Town Sucks

10 Years Later

“Twilight wake up..” A voice sounded out in the distance. Twilight rolled over in her sleep.

“Wake up,” The voice started getting closer. She let out a light moan still in dreamland.

“WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Twilight then felt heat radiate through her body.

“I WANNA RIDE THE MERCEDES!” Twilight screamed out waking up in a flash. Standing before her was her friend Spike already dressed for the day. In the ten years since they first met Spike had grown into a strapping young man. He even had his wings. And Twilight had grown into a beautiful woman.

“Faust damn it Spike I was in the middle of a great dream. Couldn’t you have given me five more minutes?” Twilight asked rubbing her eyes.

“Sorry but Mom has a task for you,” Spike explained.

“Ugh what time is it?” Twilight asked reaching for her phone. It was 8:00 in the morning.

“I already made breakfast. Get dressed. Big day today,” Spike said in his usual chipper tone before flying back down to the kitchen. Twilight got out of bed and started getting dressed. She looked out her window which offered unbeatable views of the city and the town of Ponyville in the distance. Normally an apartment like this would cost a fortune, however Twilight’s status as a personal student of Celestia got her some sweet ass upgrades. She walked downstairs to the smell of waffles which Spike was already digging into.

“Did she say what the task was? It’s not another damn diplomatic mission is it? When she sent me to the Griffinlands I got robbed and almost burned at the stake by the crazy Death Cult they have!”

“Don’t remind me. That was a shitty week. And she wants you to go to Ponyville to help out with the Summer Sun Celebration,” Spike explained

“What? Why me?” Twilight asked.

“Well she wants you to..and I quote “get out more and make some damned friends,” Spike explained.

Twilight groaned in annoyance.

“I don’t have time for friends. I gotta study!” Twilight pouted.

“For what?! All you and Mom do is sit around drinking tea and talking about Faust knows what. You do need to get out more. Make some friends. Or even better get a damn boyfriend,” Spike said.

“A boyfriend? As if. And that’s pretty rich coming from you, how many girls have you brought back here?” Twilight asked.

“IT WAS ONLY THE ONE!” Spike said blushing red.

“Suuuure and that turned out quite well,” Twilight said with a teasing smirk.

“Not my fault she ended up being a psychopath,” Spike said putting his face down on the table to hide his embarrassment.

“Alright whatever let’s get to Ponyville. Get this shit over with,” Twilight said finishing her breakfast and tossing the car keys to Spike.

“So I’m driving?” Spike asked.

“Gotta work on stuff,” Twilight said innocently. Spike rolled his eyes.

“I’m not your chauffeur you know,” Spike said annoyed.

A couple hours later Spike had parked the car by the town hall. Celestia had given the duo a full list of tasks to handle.

“Alright let’s see..first thing is food and that’ll be handled at Sweet Apple Acres. And I still say you should try and make friends,” Spike said.

“Come on with who?” Twilight asked. Right as she said that a young woman who didn’t look much older then Twilight and Spike strolled into the area. She was pink all over.

“Why not her? Doesn’t look much older then us,” Spike said. The woman slowly made her way over to the duo.

“Just try,” Spike said. The woman cast a curious glance at the duo.

“Uhhh...hi?” Twilight said unsure. The woman let out a loud gasp of shock before rushing off leaving a very confused duo.

“Well..that went well,” Twilight said with sarcasm before walking towards Sweet Apple Acres. Spike let out a sigh before following behind.

Twilight and Spike walked through the archway and into Sweet Apple Acres.

In the fields Twilight could see a very tall and muscular man working on the crops, an old woman knitting something, a young teenage girl who didn’t look much older then 16 carrying buckets of apples and another woman who looked around the same age as Twilight and Spike getting apples off of the trees and putting them into the buckets.

“She looks important,” Spike said looking at the woman. The duo walked towards the woman who took notice.

“Howdy,” The woman said climbing down her ladder.

“May I help you with something?” The woman asked.

“Yes my name is Twilight Sparkle and this is my assistant Spike. We’re diplomats from Canterlot and we’re just wondering how everything is going in terms of the Summer Sun Celebration.

“Twilight..this isn’t another country you don’t need to use diplomat,” Spike said facepalming.

“Well my name is Applejack. It’s going well all these apples are for the food we’re prepping,” Applejack explained. The teenage girl went by and picked up another bucket.

“This is my sister Apple Bloom,” Applejack said.

“Howdy there,” Apple Bloom said tipping her hat before carrying more apples to the house.

“Well I do hope everything will be ready by tonight,” Twilight said. Applejack tipped her hat.

“It will be sugar cube. Pleasure meeting you,” Applejack said before getting back to work. Twilight and Spike then left the property and went back into town.

“Ok next up is the Decor. We shall find the one in charge at the Carousel Boutique. Twilight and Spike walked to a large building at the center of town.

“Who needs all that space?” Twilight asked. Spike shrugged his shoulders. The duo walked inside to see a beautiful young woman hard at work.

“Sorry but I’m very busy preparing for the celebration. Please come back later,” She spoke with a very posh British accent.

“Ah yes. My name is Twilight and this is my assistant Spike. We’re diplo-I mean..visitors from Canterlot. We’re here to see how everything is coming along,” Twilight explained.

“Oh-OH MY. Oh yes please come in. Please forgive me I seem to be underdressed I didn’t know you were coming. My names Rarity, would you like some tea?” Rarity asked quickly.

“No that’s fine. How’s the decor going?” Twilight asked.

“Oh it’s going quite well darling. As you can see I’ve taken the liberty of creating a large tapestry that describes Celestia’s victory during the Revolution,” Rarity said rolling out a large tapestry.

“Impressive, most impressive. I’m sure Celestia will be very pleased,” Twilight said admiring the woman’s work.

“Oh do you think so? It would be a dream of mine to work at Canterlot,” Rarity explained before going on about her life story and her dreams.

“Oh no here we go,” Twilight whispered to herself before casting a glance at Spike. Spike was looking at Rarity with an open jaw. Twilight didn’t need brains to know exactly what he was thinking.

“Don’t even think about it,” Twilight said. Spike quickly snapped out of it.

“I-I don’t know what your talking about,” Spike said as he frantically scribbled down notes.

“Well Miss Rarity we do appreciate everything but we must be going, lots to do,” Twilight said.

“Oh yes yes of course. Have a pleasant day,” Rarity said as the duo walked out of the boutique.

“Alright next is weather,” Spike said. Twilight looked up at the cloudy sky.

“Well whoever is responsible is not doing a good job,” Twilight said.

Suddenly a blue blur sped across the sky and cleared the skies within seconds.

“Woah...” Spike said in awe. The blur sped down to the ground and landed right in front of the duo.

“Clouds cleared in 23 seconds with no casualties. NEW RECORD BABY!” The woman shouted in victory before taking notice of the duo before her.

“Who the Tartarus are you?” The woman asked.

“Uhh my name is Twilight, this is Spike, and uhh....I see you have everything taken care of..keep it up,” Twilight said not knowing what to say.

“Well names Rainbow Dash. And damn straight I got everything under control. They wouldn’t put me in charge of weather if they didn’t have faith in me.” Rainbow said.

“Yeah...I can see that,” Twilight said.

“Of course you can. I’m as awesome as they come, I’m the best there ever was baby. I-“ Rainbow then went on a long speech about how awesome she was. She didn’t notice Twilight and Spike slip away.

“And last is music,” Twilight and Spike walked to a treehouse which was filled with animals. They heard the sounds of birds whistling and the soft voice of a young woman. They walked towards it and saw a woman leading the birds in song. Next to them a young man strummed a guitar.

“Hello,” Twilight said. The woman stopped and looked at the duo before reeling back.

“My names Twilight. We’re here looking-oh forget it I’m tired of repeating the same thing just how are things going for the Celebration?” Twilight asked.

The woman said nothing other then a low whimper.

The man next to her let out a sigh.

“She doesn’t talk much. She’s really shy. That’s Fluttershy and I’m her brother Breeze,” Breeze said.

“Well I assume everything is in order,” Twilight said.

“Sure is,” Breeze replied.

“Hold on...I recognize you aren’t you that guy who performed at that one night club in Canterlot?” Spike asked.

“And I recognize you. Aren’t you the dude who got stupid drunk and completely smashed everything?” Breeze asked.

“Uhhhh..........no that was someone else..” Spike said quickly. Fluttershy then took notice of Spike.

“OH MY FAUST IS THAT A DRAGON?!” Fluttershy cried in awe before getting closer to Spike.

“Oh no here we go,” Breeze sighed.

“Oh my Faust I’ve always wanted to meet a dragon. Tell me everything! What’s it like up in the mountains? How hot is your fire? I NEED TO KNOW!” Spike shot a cocky look at Twilight before getting into an explanation of dragons.

“Not very shy when it comes to dragons huh?” Twilight asked.

“Nope. She’s always comfortable around animals and other creatures,” Breeze explained

“Ok Spike we’ve had enough time to get to know the locals but we need to get to lodging,” Twilight dragging Spike away.

“Aw come on Twilight!” Spike protested. Fluttershy looked at the duo downtrodden.

“I’LL COME BACK AT SOME POINT!” Spike called out.

“That was so rude. She was so nice!” Spike said in a disappointing tone.

“Look Spike you’ll have time to know the locals later. But we must get to our housing,” Twilight said walking towards a large tree house in the center of town.

“God this town is crazy. Only normal one I’ve come across is Applejack. I just want to get some rest,” Twilight said opening the door.

“Wow kinda dark,” Spike said as he switched on the light.

“SURPRISE!” Twilight then felt something hit her chest. Standing before her was a large crowd of ponies including the ones she came across earlier. At the center of it all was the pink one.

“MY NAME IS PINKIE PIE! AND WELCOME TO PONYVILLE! LETS PARTY!” Pinkie screamed out. Spike looked at Twilight with a smirk.

“This town sucks,” Twilight said before she was dragged into the crowd.