Perpetual Torment

Not much more than a single sentence was spoken between you and Celestia for the rest of the night. After everything that was said, both of you were worn out, and just wanted the peace of each other's presence. You two had retreated into her personal quarters, clutching onto one another with no intentions of letting go. You two never kissed, or undressed, or did anything other than remain tightly wound in a mix of arms, forelegs and wings.

Your helmet rests on its side on the floor, having been dropped the moment you two had entered. With your back against the headrest of your fiance's luxurious canopy bed, your armored hands blanket Celestia's alabaster barrel as best as they can. The alicorn in question is sitting on your lap, face to face with you. Her beautiful eyes are bloodshot and red, her face fur is matted with dried tears from multiple sessions of sobbing throughout the midnight hours. The morning sun bleeds in through the open balcony next to the bed; with a touch of finesse, Celestia was able to raise the sun and start the day without ever needing to abandon your comfort.

The two of you sit in silence, as Celestia trails a hoof as gently as she can up and down your battle damaged armor, inspecting your healing injuries with motherly concern. "How do you endure such cruelty, yet remain as stoic as you do?" Her gentle, ragged voice is no louder than a morning breeze.

You opt to remain silent, trailing your own eyes over her face. Nothing you can think of feels worth speaking to her, lest you come off arrogant, or self-loathing.

"I'm sorry... For raising my voice at you." Celestia frowns, her head lowers as her eyes fall south. "Things have been so much more stressful than they have ever been. I haven't felt this uncertain of my countries fate since... I lost you."

You shake your head and place a hand onto her cheek, lifting her head up so you can look into her eyes. "Don't apologize. If anything, I should. You've been more than accommodating for me, considering what little you knew."

She gives an empty chuckle, shaking her head and closing her eyes. "The moment I heard of your presence, I was praying it would be you."

"...More than anything, I wanted to return to you, Celestia."

"I know, Anonymous. I know." Her beautiful eyes open, gazing into your own, and despite the sadness they cast, you can't help but feel a comforting warmth from the very sight of them. Celestia sighs, before leaning forward, craning her neck around yours as her forelegs wrap around your back. You return the gesture, and cradle her closely, burying your face into her neck as you inhale the scent of her shampoo.

"Celestia?"

"Yes, my love?"

There's a long moment of silence, as you consider your words carefully. For countless years you have survived on your own, keeping your pain and sorrow inside. Now, however, as you clutch onto your partner, that doesn't feel appropriate anymore.

"I'm scared to leave this room."

You nuzzle into her neck, rubbing your hands up and down her back slowly. You can feel her reciprocate, and you swear you hear her breath hitch—though that may as well be your mind playing tricks.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't feel much the same, Anon."

"What if... What if I'm too slow? Who's to say ten more of those rotten bastards won't show up the second I take my eyes off of you?"

Celestia clutches you tighter, using her wings to blanket you as she gently shushes you. "Ssshhh... Letting yourself dwell on these things will only keep your morale down, Anon. Whatever happens, you and I will face it head on." She pulls away, and now it's her turn to hold your cheek with a hoof, forcing eye contact. "Together. As we were always meant to. I will allow nothing to come between us, just as I'm sure you won't."

Unlike moments previous, it is difficult, almost painfully so, to remain gazing into your lover's eyes. Her warm words are intended to provide reassurance, you're sure of it. Unfortunately, these promises of protection and safety come across as nothing more than lies; temporary truths, waiting to be broken.

Doubt creeps it's way into your mind, and before long it plagues your face. In an instant Celestia takes note, her velvet lips curl downwards as she leans forward to nuzzle against your cheek.

"You may not believe me now... I don't expect you to, but I'm hopeful that overtime you'll learn to trust me again."

I want to, Celestia. The sentence racks your brain, sitting in the back of your throat begging to be spoken. You open your dry lips to speak.

GGRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLMMMBMBBMMM...

One of the most violent, armor rattling, bed rocking growls you've ever heard or felt bellows from your stomach. Words escape you and your accomplice. Celestia's eyes go wide, as they dart from your face down to your stomach.

"G-goodness, Anonymous! If you were hungry, you could have just told me!" Her angelic voice is an octave higher than normal, a mix between concern for your health, and seconds away from a giggle fit. "W-when was the last time you had a proper meal?"

Despite herself, those lips curl upwards into an amused grin; an armored hood touches her mouth as she tries to contain herself.

Her smile is infectious, and soon enough your own lips raise. If anything, you're thankful that—despite your current state—you can still manage to bring joy to your favorite horse lady.

"It's been a minute or two."

Her chest rumbles, and the giggles soon overtake her.

"Oh, come now. The morning is still young, perhaps some proper food might ease tensions?"

Celestia nuzzles your nose with closed eyes, and you return the gesture with gusto.

"I'd like that."

A few more adorable titters ring out, before Celestia sighs, almost in relief. "I think breakfast would do both of us many favors..." With one final nuzzle for good measure, Celestia begins to scoot off of you.

One hoof hits the floor, then two, then four. Celestia stretches and yawns, spreading her wings before resting them at her sides. From the corner of her eye, she catches a glimpse of her own reflection from her bedside mirror. "Goodness! I look like an utter trainwreck..." She bites her lip, looking into her own sore eyes, her disheveled mane and matted fur. "I believe a bit of a grooming session is in order for myself."

Slowly, Celestia turns to face you. "Would you... Care to join me?"

Any other time, this would be a flirt—an invitation for activities best not spoken about in polite company; a chance to explore and to cherish each other in the most ultimate of ways.

This time is different.

Celestia's gaze is soft, her voice has the slightest waver, almost undetectable. There was no way to misinterpret her question; all she asks for is your company as she prepares herself for the public eye.

You offer Celestia a simple nod accompanied with a closed smile. "Of course. I could use a bit of a wash, myself." A forearm raises, as your offhand bats away dried clumps pastry onto the marble floor below.

"...Thank you." She whispers, motioning you to follow her.

Though it was never directly spoken, it seems you and Celestia have agreed on something in regards to your relationship.

Both of you are in no place to be rushing into things right now. Affection of a more intimate level will return in time, but that is not now.

For now, you have a fiance' in need of grooming. As for yourself?

A damn shower.

"The dining quarters are down the hall of the southern wing, okay?" Celestia's sing song voice dances in your ears, as you watch her saunter out of the bathroom—clean, prim and proper. "I'll have my maids bring you a robe. The fit may be... strained. It's intended for visiting minotaur royalty, but it should suffice."

"I won't be long."

With that, Celestia makes her exit, leaving you to stare into the steamy, fog covered glass within her grandiose bathroom. The 'thing' that stares back at you is so simple in its physical form, but an anomaly to grasp.

It stands tall, naked from head to toe. It's body's muscular, incredibly so—Massive arms connected to a wide, beefy upper chest. Shoulder muscles support a thick neck, which stands above two rock-hard pectorals. It's body is riddled with scars of various shapes and sizes which trail down to even it's naked legs; each scar has its own story. The largest, and most significant of these past wounds is a bubbled out, deep-mauve scare which wraps around the left calf above the ankle. Five jagged lines spread apart, forming what appears to be a clawed hand. This was the wound that changed everything—the wound from a friend-turned-foe.

A shudder rattles your body, and you turn your attention back to the mirror, focusing on the thing's face.

Simple, ordinary, run of the mill. Short hair and emerald eyes compliment a blocky, chiseled complexion. This face carries no abnormalities—save for a few minor scratches and scars—it is entirely average.

A human male.

A plain, regular, human male.

You.

You stare into those emerald eyes in the steamy glass, and they stare back. Vague memories and images flash through your brain. Trekking across foreign lands with a close friend, frolicking through flower-laden fields with a lover. Simple images—happy images. You believe these to be memories of your own. They may as well be, there is no other reason they would be hiding within the limits of your conscience.

This very face in the mirror is yours, is it not? Why else would its eyelids close when your own do?

Without thought, a hand reaches up and rests against the glass. Condensation smears against your skin, as the physical hand aligns with the reflection.

Your lips begin to move, as you speak your name to the mirror. The creature in the glass speaks back, pronouncing every syllable just as you do. The name sounds odd when pronounced by your own tongue, and it feels unfitting when associated with yourself. By all means, you are Anonymous; the human being within the reflection before you. Yet despite this, the notion of reclaiming this title rocks your body and mind with discomfort.

Feelings of inadequacy dribble into your mind, before your stomach unleashes another bellowing growl—desperate for some form of sustenance.

Maybe Celestia had a point about breakfast... You muse internally, opting to part ways from your mirror image. Navigating your way back into Celestia's bedroom, you find the lower half of your Preator Suit resting neatly on top of the bed, paired with a luxurious, elegantly crafted fleece robe decorated in various hues of yellow, white, and purple—Celestia's cutiemark is branded onto each of the robe's shoulders, as well as one side of the chest. The pants and shoes to your armor are as dirty as they were yesterday, but have been presented in a neat display.

With nothing else to do, you sit on the side of the bed and clad the lower half of your armor, covering your naked legs, and concealing your manhood. Despite what one might want to believe, you don't have a set of traditional 'underclothing' that goes with the suit; instead, the armor is lined with firm, synthetic fabric which acts as built-in comfort. It makes wearing the suit for long periods of time bearable—though odor can arise if not washed every so often. Not that odor has ever concerned you. You wear the suit for protection, not to smell nice.

After you fasten and secure your pants and boots, you dawn the robe. The faux fur feels like an angel's voice in physical form, and it's almost as soft as Celestia's own coat. Its comfortable enough that you could almost see yourself wearing this more than once. A glance to the dresser mirror in front of the bed reveals that while the fit is rather tight, the robe conceals most of your scars, and you'd dare say you look rather clean in it.

"So then I said to Spearhead; "Banana seat? You'd know a lot about those, wouldn't you?" You can hear Shining Armor in the room ahead of you, guffawing at his own joke as he smashes a hoof into the table before him.

"Sh-shining! That's terrible!" Princess Cadence attempts to scold him, though she's struggling to stop snickering and giggling at his crudeness. It's hard to pinpoint where without seeing, but you can hear Celestia off to the side sharing her own laughter.

Like a bunch of teenagers. Your naked hands press against the doors to Tia's private dining hall, pushing them open swiftly and without incident. Sure enough Princess Cadence and Shining Armor are sat together on one side of a simple rectangular table dressed in fancy cloth; Celestia is sitting at one of the two ends by herself, enjoying a large plate of fruit-laden pancakes.

"Hey, in all fairness I wouldn't make those jokes if he wasn't okay with it! If anything, I'd think it makes him more comfortable around..." Shining Armor trails off.

Two and a half pairs of eyes fall onto your person, each of the three ponies before you react in a range of emotion. Celestia's well-trained politeness fades away in a heartbeat, being quickly replaced by a genuine warmth of such intensity it strikes your heart, and you find yourself unable to look away.

Shining Armor looks you up and down with his remaining eye, quizzical concern laces his blocky face, your appearance having robbed him of his words.

Princess Cadence glances between you and Celestia, her lips uncontrollably curl upwards as she watches you two interact with baited breath.

With each passing moment, you and Celestia become increasingly lost in each other's eyes; the very idea of looking away seems outrageous and absurd. Unfortunately for you, Celestia manages to snap herself out of this bout, batting her eyes back down to the meal before her. "I see that the robe fits nicely, Dear." Her horn lights up, levitating fork and knife over to her dish as she cuts into her pancakes.

Armored feet guide you across the room and over to your horse-fiancé, whom you greet with a gentle rub of her crest.

Celestia struggles to contain a gentle coo, and cranes her neck to look up at you. "There is food in the kitchen... Please, feel free to dish yourself. Anything that you want I can have my chefs make."

A nod of Celestia's head points you to a set of double doors. across the room. Without much input of your own, you give her a loving pat and make your way into the kitchen, breezing right past Cadence and her husband.

The double doors to the kitchen swivel closed, as Slayer—Anonymous disappears into the kitchen. You feel absolutely ecstatic; Auntie's royal façade fading away the moment her dear human entered the room speaks volumes as to just how repressed she's been. Overwhelming warmth builds inside your chest, and it's almost impossible not to squeal out in delight.

"...Dear?" Shining speaks up from your side, craning his head forward to look over at Auntie Celestia. "Is there uh... something I'm missing?"

Unable to contain it, you let out a small squeal, gently nudging your husband as you peer over to Celestia. "Oooohh! Can I tell him? Please, Auntie, can I tell him?"

Celestia, to her credit, reacts in a very calm and collected manner; albeit slightly flustered. Politely she cuts herself a chunk out of her meal, chewing and swallowing it. "I am still adjusting to this myself, Cadence... Anonymous and I both, really." Her eyes drift back down to her pancakes. “It is a lot to take in, especially with everything happening right now.”

“Wait— I’m confused. Who’s Anonymous? Why are you calling Slayer ‘Dear’ like you two are dating? Weren’t you chewing him out last night for that negligent injury?” Shining’s raspy voice is strained, a hoof rests on his head.

"Oh Shiny, it's so wonderful! Anonymous is—"

As if on cue, the western door to the dining room swings open, revealing a tired and very disheveled Luna. Dark bags hang under her bloodshot eyes, her mane is frizzy and unkept. Her tired legs drag her over to the table, taking a seat adjacent to her sibling. “Dearest Sister… ‘tis worse than we thought. Our subject’s feelings of safety are dwindling ever more, and their reception of Slayer has been tarnished since last nights events... we cannot describe to you the things we have witnessed in tonight's nightmares.”

Celestia’s gaze falls on her younger sister, her lips curl into a frown. "How man—"

“Already? Has the news spread that fast?” Shining responds faster than Celestia can. “What did he do?”

Celestia clears her throat. "Ahem... He defended Equestria as best as he could, but in doing so—"

"Disheveled the trust of our subjects! We saw not one good dream last night sister! Not one!" Luna's booming voice is quick to catch her sister off guard.

"Well where does this Anonymous guy come into play? Why was Slayer walking around in a robe?" Shining Armor has to raise his own voice just to keep the conversation going.

It doesn't take a master of psychology to see that the sanctity of breakfast is quickly unraveling. Piping hot food is being ignored, left to cool idly as confusion and stress flood the arena. Poor Auntie Celestia almost appears to be sinking back into her seat as the onslaught of questions keep coming.

"Anonymous?! Who is thou referring to, Armor?! That name is not to be spoken with such carelessness!" Luna glares into your husband's eye, who cowers in response. Her razor sharp glance snaps back to her eldest sibling, mellowing into a look more of confusion and hope. "What dost this boy speak of, Sister?"

"Lulu, please, I am going to get to tha—"

The kitchen doors swivel open, revealing a robe-clad human expertly balancing a large silver platter pack to the brim with food. Like, so much food it towers over Anon's head, and could feed a family of seven easily with extra for leftovers. Behind Anonymous, one of Celestia's private chefs has a nervous smile on her face, eyeing the platter in a ducked stance; ready to bolt forward to catch anything should it fall. All eyes in the room fall on the somewhat comical sight, silence invades once again.

"Aaaannnnd... Perfect!" With all the delicacy of a swan, Chef Honey Bunch levitates a one-gallon pitcher of milk onto the large silver plate. "Good to go, Sir!" She bows before you, a tad nervous from your towering physique, but eager to serve.

Honey Bunch steps aside as you near the island cabinet in the middle of the room, wrapping your digits around either side of the dish and hoisting it up. Plates and chinaware rustle and clatter against each other, their contents slide from side to side, threatening to tumble towards the ground if you so much as twitch.

"Are you sure you have that? It's no issue at all for me to wheel it out for you! I mean... that is a lot of food, and I could just as easily roll it out to you on three carts."

You give the middle-age mare a simple glance, before you make for the double doors. Her ruby eyes follow your every movement as you trek past her. Seemingly snapping herself out of a trance, she scurries ahead of you. "Oh! Let me grab that door for you, Sir!"

She's a chipper one, this mare. You haven't so much as said hello to her, and she's offered her services to you with passion and vigor; even going so far as to offer cooking meat.

Honey Bunches trots past you, kicking a button on the floor which causes the double doors to swivel outwards, locking in place. Bustling conversation in the room before you ceases, leaving you in what would be a terrible silence, if you happened to care. The tower of food and plates before you comes up to just under your nose, keeping your vision limited. Despite this obstruction, you manage to spot all three residents at the table, with a plus-one next to Celly.

"Shining Armor..." Celestia's eyes glance from the stallion, then over to her sister. "...Luna..." Then, ever so slowly, she brings her eyes up to you. "...This is Anonymous. My fiancé from over a thousand years ago."

"Anonymous..." Luna's astonished eyes meet your own. "...All this time...?"

You don't even offer her a nod. With a hearty clunk, you place the platter onto the dinner table, keeping your eyes focused on the task at hand; unstacking the tower of food and drink before you. Your dexterous digits grab plates and bowls with ease, lining each of the dishes in an orderly fashion of food type, and size of the dish.

"Jeez, dude... Save some for the rest of us, Huh?" Shining Armor quips with an amused voice, watching you set down a gallon pitcher of milk.

"...Thou... waited all this time to reveal thine self?..." You can hear Luna rise from her seat, followed by the echo-y clip clop of her shoe-dressed hooves coming around the table.

Can't this wait, Sis? I haven't eaten in weeks. You want to say it, you need to say it; unfortunately, your lips hold steadfast.

"...Thou stole from our land... Destroyed the Godstone..." The hoof steps grow ever closer.

Don't push it, Luna. You set down a plate of scrambled eggs.

"Ravaged the land, and struck fear into the hearts of our subjects!" You can feel Luna feet away from you.

Just one bite. Can I have that? Your digits grab a silver fork, which you stab into the steaming hot pile of scrambled eggs. The aroma taunts you ever so, you are but inches away from ending a terrible period of starvation.

"And thou believes he can just—just return?! As if not one of these offences ever took place?!" A cobalt hoof strikes your wrist, sending the fork flying across the room. Chunks of egg scatter across the marble floor as the ringing clatter of the utensil shocks the guests in the room. "Have you ANY idea the pain and sorrow you have brought us? Brought our sister?! Look at us when we speak to you, you—you utter fool!" Luna's teal eyes glare into your soul with only the utmost of betrayal.

Two hands ball into fists.

"That's enough, Luna!" Celestia's voice booms out, causing everyone in the room to turn their heads. Celestia's stern features soften, eyes never leaving her younger sibling. "Luna... He's back." She coos out in a motherly tone, motioning a hoof towards you. "All this time we thought he was gone, he fought day and night, and he's back..."

Luna's eyes dart back and forth between you and Celestia. After several seconds which feel like minutes, her lower lip trembles for a moment, her eyebrows twitch. "...W—why did you toy with us...?" She asks, peering back at you, her voice nothing more than a whisper. "You lied to us in your nightmare... why?" She takes a step closer.

You feel something inside of you. A painful tightness in your chest all too familiar; a pain that can sap the willpower away from the strongest beings in existence in one fell swoop—heart ache.

"It would have hurt you and Celestia more if I showed up, only to leave again. I figured it best to act a stranger, and save you two the pain." Luna seems taken aback by these words; a reluctant glance to the left shows Celestia is much the same.

"...I missed you." Luna whispers, tears welling in her eyes, one of her front hooves lifts an inch off the ground.

You open your arms. "Come here."

Wearily, Luna steps forward and succumbs to your embrace. She buries her face into your chest, allowing you to wrap your arms around her crest and withers. She does not sob or cry, but as she nuzzles deeper against the fuzzy material of your robe, you can feel a single tear seep through the fabric and wet your skin. The two of you hold this position for what feels like minutes, no one dares interrupt this moment of troubled reunification.

When Luna feels like she's ready, she softly pulls away and clears her throat. You look down into her eyes and pat her side. "My apologies... It has been a long night for us." Sheepishly she turns towards her family. "Would you still accept a fifth at the table? We missed our lunch today."