Jillin' the Villain

by ROBCakeran53

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Trixie, Comedy, King Sombra, Sunburst, Sex, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 8898

Starlight accidentally summons King Sombra via sexual stimulation using his severed horn.

After the (hopefully) final defeat of King Sombra, all that was left of him, again, was his horn. The princesses are torn on what action to take, until Starlight blurts out she should watch over it.

The odds are not in her favor, but at this point Equestria's so used to crazy, the princesses go along with it.

As expected with the mare, she does something no sane pony should, and now has to deal with the fact she's brought back the (former) King of the Crystal Empire by use of sexual stimulation with his severed horn. Oh, and she's also now his master and has got complete control of him other than his snarky attitude. Can Starlight make this work? Will Trixie get jealous, or worse, excited? And why is Twilight Sparkle so... calm about it all?

Stay tuned for crazy hijynx and heavy sexual themes between two mares and a grouchy ex king.

----------

While the first chapter is blatant masturbation, the following chapters will be a lot less sexually explicit other than occasional talk of the topic, although as it progresses I can't keep any promises. Fetish tags will be included upon them happening, which my coauthor has assured me will happen as he's cackling to me about his ideas. Celestia help us.

----------

This story is a collab with a friend, who wishes to be anonymous (for the time being). We're both editing and pre-reading each other's chapters. It's also loosely inspired by the television program I Dream of Jeannie, in the sense of King Sombra's role in things, not... well, the other stuff.

Coverart is a vector by tardifice, without permission, so any issues you can yell at us.

Published 2020-07-06 19:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2020-08-20 22:35:22 UTC

1: In which the odds were against her, yet one of the Princesses still won 200 bits.

Author's Note

So this might seem odd, to be posting a story on my main account that's clearly about sex, however like YCH this story isn't really about the sex. Or maybe it will be, I dunno, however at this time after this there isn't any planned explicitness for some time.

I've been recently going through a bunch of Sombra shipping stories, mostly involving Fluttershy or Starlight Glimmer, and well, they're good. Most have been, but they all felt too... harsh. Too dark, edgy, depressed. I thought, you know, something different was needed. Then I got talking with my pal Pone 9, and well... this happened.

We will be posting in our author's notes who wrote which chapter, so this first one is mine. Sorry that I'm not sorry.

1: In which the odds were against her, yet one of the Princesses still won 200 bits.

Starlight Glimmer was quite the smart mare.

Sure, at her worst she was a evil, controlling, and the manipulative leader of a small town in the middle of Nowhere, and at her best she was socially awkward and had an itchy trigger horn, but she was never dumb about anything.

Frightened, startled, out of her element, sure, but she simply lacked the experience to properly handle the situations constantly thrust upon her.

After the second, or possibly third, defeat of King (former) Sombra by the Tree of Harmony slash Elements of Harmony slash explodey rainbow magic, he was totally and entirely vaporized.

Except, as was usual, his horn.

It had so much pent up dark magic and teen angst slash anger issues that the stubborn piece of ivory, tainted red with blood lust, hormonal imbalance, and rage, simply would not go away. Twilight Sparkle had tried everything she could think of, and some things better not thought of. The rest of the princesses simply wanted to banish it, cast it away to parts unknown in the hopes it wouldn’t ever appear again (or at least for another thousand years).

And then Starlight said that was dumb.

Both Princess Luna and Cadance looked to the mare with amusement, while Twilight nearly flew (literally) into a panic, and Celestia rubbed her forehead from a migraine, however motioned with her hoof towards the unicorn mare to continue her thought.

Honestly, having never dealt with a deceased evil pony’s horn before, this was where Starlight’s lack of experience then came into play. She was not stupid, simply lacked the forthought of the impending and then what? It had worked for her before in the past, with only a few minor setbacks here and there that the Power of Friendship (™) could later fix for her.

Or, you know, with her.

Realizing she suddenly held the attention of four princesses, the reformed villain could only blurt out a hasty response.

“I’ll watch over it!”

Two sets of eyebrows nearly reached orbit, one jaw nearly cracked the marble under their hooves, and one princess of the night nearly rolled on the floor from laughter. It was the ironic, “this is such a bad idea but let's see where it takes us anyway” kind of laughter only a princess alive for a few hundred years could achieve.

So for the next hour, several pots of tea and coffee were consumed, princess yelled at princess, then they hugged, then they cried, and then yelled once more, until all four came up with the same conclusion:

This was probably, absolutely, most definitely, all more than likely, the worst idea ever, but let’s see what happens anyway.

And thus Starlight Glimmer, freshly crowned headmare of the School of Friendship, was trusted with the horn of King Sombra. Once the mare left, on shaky hooves, the four princesses looked at one another before Cadance broke the silence with a wager on how long it took for her to botch things up. A side bet was then established on which of Starlight’s “friends” would be a helping factor, with good odds on Trixie and HLS.

As it would turn out, they weren’t too far off.

Months had passed, and Starlight Glimmer found herself at her desk, in her office, in the School of Friendship’s Dean’s Office, which was hers now. The school, that is, which also included the Dean’s office, her office.

She was still coming to terms with her present reality. It didn’t help matters when she still found occasional purple feathers or dragon scales scattered about.

It was also still a weird feeling, being in charge of a huge school, hundreds of students from all kinds of backgrounds and totally different species. Lots of stress, sleepless nights, finding good help, finding good reliable help, giving up and just having Trixie, Sunburst, or even Discord step in when needed.

The usual kinds of stress, really.

Today was a usual busy day, where she only had ten to fifteen minutes to herself between periods. Class periods, that is. It was a hot summer day, Celestia’s sun, which was kinda controlled by Twilight now, blazing down upon the inhabitants of Ponyville. It seemed as though the focus was on the school, or more so her office. On herself.

Starlight ground her bottom into her seat. She hated it when her heat got away from her. Sure, it wasn’t anything a little medicine or some pegging from Trixie couldn’t fix, but days like today where she didn’t have her meds, the time to get meds, ability to stimulate herself proper, or an emergency dildo stashed somewhere only Pinkie Pie knew that it made being a mare miserable.

Slamming her face on her desktop, Starlight let out a groan of pent up frustration, the casual drip drip drip from fluids dripping from her seat to the hardwood floor. The janitor was going to have a fit if she didn’t clean up her own mess.

She lifted her head just enough to rest her chin onto the wood surface, huffing a bit of her frazzled mane from her face and looked around. Nopony was scheduled to visit. Nocreature had been by all day with any problems. Even Trixie was behaving herself downstairs with only minimal disturbances from Discord.

Maybe… she did have a moment to herself. Rub one out with enough time to dive into the moat to cool off afterwards.

“Yes,” she said to herself.

Only now the question was how? While hoofing it was tried and true, after a while it just got bland. Trixie was busy, Sunburst was back in the Crystal Empire probably being dom’d by Cadance and Shining Armor, the anal slut he was.

A bit of sunlight suddenly glared from a glass bowl on her desk. Inside that glass dish was none other than King Sombra’s horn. Pointed with a menacing curve, mostly a blood like red that grew darker towards the fractured base.

Instantly heat radiated from her cheeks. No, she couldn’t… really now, it would be just… wrong.

And yet, for everything that Starlight was, she’d done a lot of wrong things only to come out stronger for it. But using a dead, evil unicorn’s horn to get herself off? Could she really stoop so low?

Her eyes looked to the wall clock. She still had a good eight minutes with change, easily enough time if she had a toy assisting her.

She groaned, looking about her office, the only other occupant was Phyllis, who seemed to turn its leaves away from her, like it knew what she was thinking, didn’t approve, but couldn’t really offer any other suggestions.

“Urg, fine!”

With a wave of her magic, the glass dish was removed, and the horn brought over closer for inspection. While she’d had looked at it many times since placing it upon her desk, she never really brought it up close to examine the finer details. It wasn’t smooth, or even spiral like a typical unicorn’s horn. It was rough, small abrasions scattered about, as if with each combat he had in his past his horn took a beating.

She idly wondered if it had ever taken the kind between her legs.

Leaning back into her chair, she eased her legs open, and ever so slowly moved the horn down towards her waiting, moist sex. Her nipples were fairly hard, and as an afterthought, shifted the horn to rub between them. Through the thin hair and mostly bare skin, the horn wasn’t rough, but simply abrasive, much like she imagined the stallion himself being.

Eyeing the clock once more, she’d already wasted a full minute. If she was going to do this, it had to be soon.

“Faust, forgive me…”

She brought the tip of the horn to her folds, and began stroking, allowing her juices to begin coating the object in her magic. Leaning further back, she hit the chair’s stopping point, and began to gently insert the tip inside of herself. Inch by inch, and as she realized, the horn was also much longer than a typical pony’s. Maybe slightly longer than Princess Cadance’s, but nowhere near that of Princess Celestia.

Now there was a pony she’d love to ride.

“Oh I’m soooo going to Tartarus if I’m caught…”

And yet, the thrill seemed to excite her further. Half way in, she began to rock the horn from side to side, up and down, allowing the slightly rough ivory rub all around inside of her, finding those few spots only Trixie could get just right after a fight.

Cautiously, she pulled the horn back out of her, and brought it up to her lips to lick her own juices. It was tangy, as expected, but another flavor was there, something she couldn’t quite place. Possibly because she didn’t clean the horn, or that maybe some evil was radiating from it because of her actions.

Another suckle, another lathering with her tongue, and then slowly she dragged the sharp tip down her throat, her chest, lower barrel, between her teats, and back to her winking vulva. It was a dangerous thrill, that sharp implement, as if Celestia herself was teasing her.

With a thrust, she shoved the horn back inside her waiting pussy, and began a slow, rhythmic back and forth piston action with it, allowing it to go slightly deeper when she felt like it.

“Oh yeah, Celestia, just like that.”

For the record, it was Trixie who liked the roleplay. Starlight would be Twilight, and Trixie would be Celestia. That way they both would win.

Starlight’s magic was starting to grow feverish, the light was getting more intense as she began to feel that pressure from her heat reaching a peak. Deeper, faster, more aggressive thrusts with the horn, not caring for the sharp point, only driving her gspot closer and closer to her release.

Then suddenly, the horn began to vibrate. So lost in her menstrations, Starlight didn’t even think about this, only enjoying the reverberations from her insides, versus the fact that she herself was not causing this.

She didn’t honestly care, she was so close.

Her chair was now rocking with the thrusts, pushing it farther away from her desk with small squeaks of the wheels. Her window was open behind her, but unless some curious pegasus was up there spying on her, nocreature really bothered her that way.

The vibration began to grow in intensity, and her horn’s glow was being outshined by a brilliant light coming from the horn, but she didn’t care. Her eyes were closed, imagining the Royal and Regal Celestia horn fucking her like no other pony could, even Trixie with the horn extension.

“Yes, yes, YES!”

Starlight was peaking, her orgasm on the brink of bursting. Her magic flared, pouring more into the horn so she could get everything out of it she desired.

“Oh, yes! FUCK!”

And the dam burst, her quivering pussy splashing out, and all at once her magic, the bright light, and the vibrations, all stopped.

She stayed laid back in her seat, eyes closed, panting away as she rested her hooves upon her chest and barrel. It had been a long time since she felt one so intense, so alive like that by herself. A faint smile graced her lips as a warm breath blew upon her wagging tail. She was-

Wait. Hold on.

Starlight’s eyes shot open, and slowly she leaned her head forward to look down between her legs.

Kneeling before her, his horn still shoved well into her pussy, was none other than King Sombra himself, eyes wide in shock as they focused on her breasts, and his face covered in her mare juices.

Seconds dragged on, the ticking of the wall clock reverberating on the walls like it was a doomsday counter. One blink, then two, and King Sombra’s eyes finally looked from the perky purple mounds and up to meet Starlight’s own wide eyes.

“Uh… hi?” Starlight said with a gulp.

2: The King is wet, but he still needs a bath.

Author's Note

This is another of mine. One more chapter, and then the reigns get hoofed over to my coauthor.

2: The King is wet, but he still needs a bath.

It was still quiet long after Starlight had calmed down, her panting replaced with gentle breaths while she could still feel his horn inside of her.

“You’re not dead.”

Strangely, it was he who said those words.

“Uh… no? If anypony, I should be saying that about you.”

“I’ve been resurrected by powerful magic before, it’s not so strange.”

“Oh.” A heartbeat of silence. “Then, why should I be dead?” Starlight asked nervously with a quirked brow.

Sombra shifted his horn inside of Starlight, causing the mare the gasp. “Because I’ve been concentrating my magic on destroying you, yet it seems to not react.”

Both pony’s eyes settled on Starlight’s lower lips, still hugging his horn.

“I’ve gone over a dozen spells in my mind to obliterate you from your marehood, and yet none of them are happening. Explain.”

Starlight gulped. “Mmmmaybe my, uh, vagina is simply capable of blocking out magic much like a magic dampening ring?” she said quickly, adding a small mirthful smile.

It was ill received by the former king, who continued to glare.

“However that’s doubtful.” Starlight released a deep breath. “Well, if you would remove your horn from my… marehood, maybe we can figure it out.”

Gently, the king pulled his head back, sliding his slicked horn out of her, although with a curious glance about himself. “I did not wish to do so. I had you in a weak position. What sorcery is this?”

With her magic, Starlight brought over a tissue box and hovered it near Sombra’s face. “I just asked you to remove it. Nothing else really involved. Here, wipe your face off, I’m not sure if I can take a master villain seriously with my… juice covering his face.”

Sombra’s horn glowed, and he took a tissue and began cleaning his face, all the while looking at Starlight with large eyes.

“How did you summon me?”

“I didn’t! Or well, I didn’t mean to! Honest! I was just… uh…”

Sombra’s eyes narrowed, however he continued to clean his face. “You used my horn to sexually please yourself, and while I’m flattered, I only reserve myself for the most capable and prestigious of broodmares.”

Starlight huffed at that, but from the continuing pressure of his glare, she began a nervous laugh. “Ehehehe… well, you see…” his gaze bore into her. She cracked. “Yes. I’m sorry! This heat was just unbearable and I needed something and so I used your horn because I thought you were dead and I know that sounds really weird but I figured there would be no harm, only shame, and honestly I have frequent H-L-S with Trixie so I’m used to shame. Shame is literally on my bedroom door back in the castle!

“Then your horn isn’t like a normal pony’s, which don’t take that in the wrong way! I got really into it so I poured more of my magic into your horn and it was getting really good and I came a lot and then… you were here.”

Sombra was done cleaning his face, dropping the tissues onto the floor beside him. Starlight huffed.

“At least use the trash can.”

Instantly his horn glowed, the small can from under her desk being dragged over, and the king placed the tissues inside.

“Huh, you know, for an evil king, I’d expect a little more protest with my requests.”

“Vile mare, I’m trying to ignore you! But it’s like I’m forced into the action! My mind nudged in the direction you’re asking me to do while my will struggles to fight it. And every time I try to formulate a plan to destroy you the will simply vanishes! You’ve put a spell on me, now spill it! Or I will… will…”

His face was growing red from clearly mental strain, and Starlight watched with a small bit of amusement at the vein bulging along his neck.

“Are you saying… that you can’t hurt me?”

“It… appears… that way.”

“Huh, and so when I asked you to do those things, you just… had to do them?”

Gritting his teeth, the king simply nodded.

“Hrm… okay, Sombra, kill yourself.”

The king continued to sit there, not moving, only brooding.

“Alright, you can’t do things that might cause self harm. Uh…” she looked down to her soiled nethers. “Sombra, lick my pussy clean.”

Sombra rolled his eyes, however began walking forward. “Like I’d ever service a mare upon her request.” Another step closer. “I do not service ponies, they service me.” Another step. “They are the ones who come begging for me to pleasure them in ways only a true king can.”

“Uh… Sombra?”

Closer yet the stallion walked, until he was standing right before Starlight.

“You would never find a king stooping so low as to clean up his mess. That is what he has servants for!” He began leaning down. “I am not some desperate mare’s play thing.” Closer yet, and Starlight could feel his breath upon her damp lower lips. “I am the King! I shall not-”

“Alright! Alright! Belay! Belay! Don’t clean me!”

Sombra’s head was pulled back with a quick jerk, an ignorant smirk on his face. “See? You cannot make me offer pleasure, it must be earned.”

Panting, Starlight wiped her brow. “Okay, so that’s a definite no no order.”

Slightly confused, Sombra looked as to where he was now standing from before, but before he could voice his concern Starlight pointed a hoof towards a wall. “Okay then! Water Phyllis!”

“What is a Phyllis?”

“My fern plant there.” Starlight pointed.

Sombra turned his head, and his magic flared, grabbing a small watering can.

“Without your magic.”

The can rattled to the floor, and the stallion walked over, picking it up in his teeth and began giving the plant some water.

“Fascinating. It’s as if you’re under some sort of… geas.”

Sombra set the can down. “Then undo it.”

Starlight blinked. “Undo it? I don’t even know how it happened! I was just using your horn to masterbate and suddenly poof! There you were, between my legs!”

Returning to stand beside her desk, Sombra looked Starlight dead in the eyes. “Mare, if you do not fix this right this instant, I shall have my revenge on anypony you hold dear. You’ll regret the day you-”

“Sombra, you cannot hurt any other living pony, creature, or plant. Especially my friends.”

He paused, mouth still open. His jaw closed with a click of his teeth, and he frowned.

Then after a thought. “Or yourself. Even though I can’t order you to harm yourself, you might have the free will to attempt it on your own.”

Sombra growled, showing his fanged teeth.

“Also… stop that, it’s creeping me out.”

“Stop. What?”

“Barring your teeth like that.”

His lips closed, however the scowl continued.

“Mmmmaybe, be a little happier? Smile or something?”

His face suddenly shifted into a large smile, showing all his teeth, while his eyes never changed from their dull expression.

“Okay I take that back, I prefer your just scowling.”

His muzzle returned to frowning.

Sitting up straighter, Starlight magick’d over the tissue box and cleaned herself off as best as she could. Still, between the two of them, they smelled like a lust filled bedroom.

“Yeah, I think we need a bath,” Starlight said.

“We?”

“Yeah, we both are all sticky and smell like… me. If somepony were to walk in on us like this there’d be no way they wouldn’t-”

Suddenly her office door swung open, in walking Trixie.

“Starlight, Trixie requires-”

Hesitation. The blue mare looked at a relaxed, spread eagle Starlight who had several sticky tissues in her magic field. Then to the slightly bigger than average grey stallion who looked like he came right out of her Studs Monthly calendar.

Her brows instantly lowered. “Well, hello there~”

“Trixie! No, it’s not what you think!”

“Oh, Trixie knows exactly what this is. You wanted to surprise her with a big, strong, stallion to spice things up after Sunburst turned you down. And my… oh… my. Did you find one.”

Sombra raised a brow, looking from Trixie to Starlight. “May I please strangle her?”

“No!”

“Ooooh, he’s kinky too~”

“Trixie, stop! This is not at all what it looks like!”

“It looks,” she paused, sniffing the air, “and smells like you were already testing the waters.” With her magic, the door slammed closed. “Now lets see how well he performs.”

“Stupid mare, as if I’d allow you the privilage to gaze upon my mighty member!”

Trixie giggled. “Did you hear that? His mighty member. Going by that exquisit horn of his, so unique, I can’t help but decide which end of him I want first. Oh Starlight, where ever do you-”

Suddenly, Trixie’s eyes went wide, as her focus went from the unicorn’s horn, then to the now empty glass dish where King Sombra’s horn once sat.

All three ponies were silent for some time.

“Starlight, you didn’t!”

“I’m sorry! It was an accident, I promise!”

Seeming to ignore her, Trixie strode closer to the ex king.

“You summoned a golem around that wicked stallion’s horn, so that we could play out more of my fantasies. You’re such the charmer, girl.”

“What!? No! Trix, this is really-”

When Trixie was within range, Sombra grabbed the mare, brought her close, and whispered into her ear.

“Mare, you stand before King Sombra, destroyer of realms, conqueror of kingdoms. I expect respect, demand tribute, when a mare is allowed to see my naked self. You cannot-”

“Sombra let her go!”

Instantly he released Trixie, who nearly fell to the floor on shaky hooves.

“Oh Starlight, he’s perfect.”

“No, Trix, you’re not understanding the situation. This really is King Sombra. Well, ex king, since he’s lost his throne.”

“I’ll have you know I shall-”

“Quiet. I’m talking.”

Sombra’s muzzle slammed closed.

“As I was saying, this really is Sombra. I accidentally summoned him, I think, pouring my magic into his horn during an intense orgasm.”

Looking between the two, or more closely, at the sticky face of Sombra, and the sticky nethers of Starlight, Trixie opened her mouth to speak.

“No, he was not whole when I did it. I used his horn!”

Trixie’s jaw closed with a click. She then looked to Sombra.

“So, Starlight used your horn to jill herself, and upon her orgasm she brought you back to life?”

Sombra’s mouth moved, but his lips remained closed.

“You can talk, Sombra.”

“Yes. It would appear so.”

Quirking a brow, Trixie looked back to Starlight. “Why is he acting like a trained dog?”

“Foul wench, I should-”

“Sombra, quiet.”

His muzzle closed, although he seemed to continue talking through closed lips.

“I think when I accidentally summoned him, or resurrected maybe I’m still not totally sure. It could have been a combination of-”

“Starlight! The point!”

“Right! Sorry, I’m just all rambly from nerves because I appear to have brought back a dead king-”

“Starlight!”

“I THINK I PUT A GEAS UPON HIS RESURRECTION AND NOW HE HAS TO DO WHAT I SAY WITHIN REASON.”

Panting, Starlight was now standing on her hooves, her chair kicked into the wall with a small impact crater.

“Wow, so he really is King Sombra?” Trixie asked.

Starlight nodded her head with a blush.

Carefully, Trixie walked closer to Sombra.

“And you’re really under her command?”

With reluctance, Sombra nodded.

She was quiet another moment, then leaned her head down to look under and between his rear legs.

“Trixie!”

“What!? Trixie is curious! If we’re gonna have an ex king for a bedroom partner Trixie wants to know what he’s packing!”

Sombra stomped a hoof in protest.

“Oh come off it, or better yet, come on Trixie.” she waggled her eyebrows.

All three stood in silence, Trixie more expectantly waiting for something to occur.

“Starlight, he’s not trying to ravish Trixie.”

“Yes, because while he seems to follow my commands, he’s also still got some free will, and seems if it’s an unreasonable request he doesn’t have to do it.”

“Wait, he doesn’t want to ravish Trixie? Why? Everypony wants to ravish me! I’m the most attractive unicorn there is!”

Starlight huffed.

Hastily, Trixie added, “In this school! Within reason!”

Starlight approached Trixie, wrapping a foreleg around her neck. “Trix, look. I didn’t summon him for any sort of sexual fantasy. It was an accident, and now I have to deal with the consequences. He’s under my command, but still enough free will to be himself. We have to be very careful how we handle this.”

There came a knock at the door.

“Sombra, answer the door please.”

Raising a brow, the ex king began walking away.

Starlight continued on. “So we can’t just go showing him off to everypony. I’ll have to keep him up here in my office until after school hours, and then try to sneak him back to the castle. No one’s there, so we can sit down and formulate a plan. I’ll probably have to tell Twilight first, and let her come up with an idea on how to explain this to the rest of the princesses. Ooooh, I sure hope she won’t be disappointed in me!”

Sombra returned, tapping his muzzle.

“Sorry, Sombra, you can speak.”

With a snarky grin, he nudged his head towards the door. “You better get explaining then.”

Blinking, Starlight and Trixie both looked over to the open doorway, where a frozen Princess Luna stood, hoof still in the air mid knock, eyes huge, jaw open. Beside her stood Princess Twilight, who’s muzzle was wrinkled from the intense smell.

Then, ever so slowly, Twilight turned to the stunned lunar princess with a knowing grin.

“Don’t ever let it be said I don’t know my student so well. I’ll take my bits in cash, thank you.”

3: So, you resurected an evil ex king. Now what?

Author's Note

Alrighty-o then, last one from me for a bit, now my wonderful coauthor shall take the reigns while I get other things caught up.

Enjoy!

3: So, you resurected an evil ex king. Now what?

There was something to be said about how calm Twilight Sparkle was over the fact the thrice defeated ex king of the Crystal Empire was standing beside her former student and her best friend with benefits.

There was also something to be said about the stunned silence from Princess Luna, who was in a mental struggle if she should shoot first, ask later, or shoot and not even ask at all, or simpler yet shoot and then shoot some more.

Then there was, also also, Starlight and Trixie who had different views on what was happening before them. One of genuine worry over her future, and the other who wasn’t sure if this was just another part of her sexual fantasy escapades brought to life.

And last but not certainly least, ex King Sombra who was only managing to keep himself under control by the fact that he hadn’t A) Been vaporized yet, or B) seemed to even care anymore. Apparently waking up from a literal fog and brought back to life, only to have your face sprayed with mare juice did that to some ponies.

“Sooooo…” Starlight began, but was silenced by a raised hoof from Twilight.

The younger alicorn walked into the office towards them, standing before Sombra with a curious glance. Hesitantly, Princess Luna also joined inside the room with a reserved expression, although keeping her distance and her horn glowing faintly.

“So, Starlight, what did you do, and how did you do it?”

Working her jaw, no words could come out as Starlight fumbled with what to say.

“Starlight jilled herself with his horn and brought him back to life so we could have a three way.”

Starlight’s eyes went wide. “Trix! No! That’s not at all- well part of it is true, but not that last bit! I don’t want to have a three way!”

Twilight turned to her former student. “But you did use his horn to… masturbate?”

With a sigh, Starlight nodded her head solemnly.

“And you… what, somehow poured enough magic into the horn to bring him back to life?”

Another nod.

“And considering you’re both not dead, nor is the school on fire, nor is he cackling madly with mad intent, that he’s somehow on a leash?”

“A magical geas,” Sombra snarled.

“Oh, good, he does talk!” Twilight stood directly in front of him. “Well then, welcome to-”

“I don’t care.”

Twilight frowned.

“Sombra, be nice to Twilight. Apologize.”

“I’m… sorry,” he growled.

“Oh wow, he’s obedient, too!”

“More like forced to do what she says,” Trixie added.

“So he is a slave to Lady Glimmer. How quaint,” Luna snarked, finally joining the others.

“If I could, Moon Mare, you’d be-”

“Sombra, no, stop. What did I say?”

“You said to be nice to… that one.” He pointed at Twilight.

“That also goes for Princess Luna, or any other princess.”

His only acknowledgement was to snarl, which Luna, as graceful as a kindergartener, stuck her tongue out in response.

Twilight, ignoring the two’s back and forth, approached Starlight and Trixie. “What are your intentions, then?”

Starlight blinked. “My what?”

“Sombra?” Twilight pointed at him. “What do you plan to do with him?”

Starlight and Trixie shared a glance, the latter waggling her brows.

“No, Trix, we’re not doing that.” Starlight then turned back to Twilight. “I’m… not sure. I wasn’t really prepared for something like this.”

“We are not sure there is any proper way to prepare for the aftermath of using a dead pony’s horn to self pleasure one’s self,” Luna said.

“Okay, that’s fair. So what should I do?” Starlight looked to Twilight expectantly.

Tapping her chin with a wing, Twilight looked between Sombra and Starlight. “Well, you managed to help save Equestria from Queen Chrysalis and helped reform the changelings with your friends. So maybe try that?”

“What, reform Sombra?”

The former king let a snicker escape.

“I mean, he’s under my control, but I don’t think I can really influence his behavior, or what he really thinks about things.”

“I’d rather go back to being dead, thank you.”

Twilight quickly turned to Sombra. “What was death like, anyway?”

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, I was dead.”

“Oh.”

“Twilight, please, back to this. I’m… I don’t know what to do!”

Twilight stepped beside Starlight, hugging her tight with a wing.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Meanwhile, why not try to… I don’t know, get him settled into his new life?”

“I’m being controlled by a mare who used my horn to pleasure herself. I don’t think I can view this time as living, or any form of enjoyment.”

Twilight continued on, ignoring him and his words as she continued to pour out suggestions for Starlight, even going so far as to materialize an organized list for when, she said, this would have eventually happened anyway so why not have a list ready?

By now, Luna had approached the ex king, and walked circles around him while the others talked. Looking, examining, even poking his grey coat with a hoof.

“Please… stop that,” Sombra said, the words nearly painful to speak.

“Nay, We are enjoying this irony too much. Wait until mine sister hears of this.”

“How wonderful.”

“So, how does it feel, foal?”

“I am no foal.”

“Aye, though are but a weary little colt now, under the control of a mare whose ability to cause havoc is only rivaled by Discord. She is your master, and thou art her slave.” Luna leaned in close to his face, her nose nearly into his right ear. “We shall enjoy this,” she whispered, “from afar.”

Sombra quickly shifted to strike, but his hooves did not cooperate, freezing him in place beside the lunar princess. She continued to smirk, while he snarled angrily.

“Hey! Princess Luna, what are you doing to my Sombra?”

“Your?” Sombra hissed, flashing Starlight a menacing glare.

“Well, yeah, you kinda are now mine.”

“And don’t forget about me!” Trixie said with a wave of her hooves.

“Trix, you weren’t even here for any of it.”

“I showed up fashionably late.”

Starlight rolled her eyes, while Princess Luna joined her and Twilight.

“So, how sure are we that he’s… not going to do anything?” Twilight asked.

“Aye, shall we send in some guards?”

Hesitantly, Starlight shook her head. “No, before I was interrupted, I was testing some limits with his control. He seems to still be... mostly free. I can’t order him to inflict self harm. And it seems he also, orders or not, cannot seem to hurt me, otherwise he would have done so by now.”

“But he can touch you, hmm?” asked Luna.

Beads of sweat began to run down Starlight’s face. At her friend’s hesitation, Trixie’s smile grew hungry, running her tongue along her lips.

“Fascinating, this really requires research!” Twilight, oblivious, magick’d a scroll and quill, writing notes down at a fevered pace.

“For another time, young Sparkle. For now, we must deliver Our sister’s missive, and return to Canterlot.”

“Oh, right.” Twilight’s ears drooped, the scroll and quill going away with a puff of magic. “Princess Celestia-” Luna rolled her eyes, but said nothing. “-wanted me to deliver a list of new students planning for next year's enrollment, from outside of Equestria.”

Another scroll appeared, and was hovered towards Starlight, who took it in her own magic. “Princess-” Luna huffed this time. “-I mean, Luna wanted to stretch her legs and joined me.”

“Canterlot, while our home, grows boring. We await to have time to ourselves upon retirement.”

“Right.” Twilight gulped. “So yeah, that’s about it. Oh! And Spike says hi.”

“Ehehehe, great, this sounds… wonderful. And tell Spike I said hello back.”

Everypony looked to Trixie expectantly.

“What? Trixie cares not for the little-”

A glare from Twilight made the blue mare think about her next words very wisely.

“And Trixie supposes she says hello as well.”

“Wonderful!” Twilight gave a brief nuzzle to Starlight, and then began walking out. “Now, if you run into any issues with Sombra, don’t hesitate to send out a flare. We’ll come as quick as possible and kick his flanks like last time.”

“I’m standing right here,” stated Sombra.

“Yes, We are very aware,” Luna added, glaring at Sombra, who returned the expression with one of his own.

“Bye Starlight! Bye Trixie! Bye Sombra, and welcome to Ponyville!” And with that, both Twilight and Luna left, closing the door behind them.

The three remaining occupants were quiet for several minutes, still waiting for the metaphorical hammer to drop.

“Do you think Princes Luna wants to share him?” Trixie asked.

“Trix! No!” Starlight shouted.

“What? Did you see how she looked at him, then whispering into his ear? Trixie bets she wants some of him too. Well not until Trixie has had her turn!”

Starlight slammed a hoof against her face. “Trixie… no, just, no.”

“Come oooooon,” she pleaded, “Trixie can smell your heat for miles, and you remember last year after your heat, then mine?”

Closing her eyes, Starlight shuddered. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“What… happened last year?” Sombra asked.

“At that Daring Do Convention… just the two of us in that hotel room…” Trixie grew closer to Starlight’s ear. “Rope… whips…”

“Seriously, what happened last year?” Sombra asked again, eyes wide.

Starlight’s horn suddenly glowed and covered Trixie. The blue mare disappeared with a pop.

Sombra, still trying to forget about the use of ropes, whips, and even unmentioned shackles, blinked as the spots in his vision disappeared. “Oh good, you killed her.”

“I didn’t kill her,” Starlight panted. “I sent her back to her classroom. Trixie knows how to push my buttons, and if she continued on that way I don’t know what would have happened.”

“By the dribbling of fluids, I can only guess.”

Frowning, Starlight marched towards the office door, while both looking at her clock and cleaning her mess with more tissues.

“Alright Sombra, I’m already extremely late for my own class, so I have to go. You… stay here.”

He raised a brow.

“I can’t take you out with me yet. We need to… make you more presentable. Less, well, former evil king and more…” Starlight rolled a hoof.

“Handsome, benevolent king, high ruler whom all shall bow to?”

“I was going to say casual, but we can borrow some of what you said.”

Blinking, Sombra looked down to his naked himself. “I don’t see what all needs improving, other than a bath, full armor, and my crown and cape.”

“There’s a full bath in that door over there. Clean yourself up-” at Sombra’s movement, Starlight hastily added, “-when you’re ready! Not right now, unless you feel like it!”

He stopped moving, and returned to facing her.

“Soooo… yeah, just chill out in here.”

Sombra’s horn started to glow in a bubbly green and purple aura, and a layer of frost began to cover his hooves and the floor around him.

“That’s not a literal term! It means just relax and make yourself comfortable!”

Instantly the frost went away, however now not only did his horn glow, but dark, black and purple waves of smoke poured from his eyes. Black, dark magic pulsing crystals began to crack through the wood floor around him, and a menacing throne shot up behind Starlight’s desk.

“Without magically altering anything! Or damaging anything! Hurting anything! Just… don’t use your magic, okay!?”

The small crystals turned to dust at the stallion’s hooves. The throne, however, stayed.

She opened the door, standing with her rear end facing out.

“Sombra, I want you to stay in this room, which includes the bathroom, and my small study. At your leisure, take a bath and clean up, and you can… read a book or something, there’s a lot of left over from when Twilight left. I’ll be back in about four hours.”

Backing out, the door closed with a silent click. Sombra turned to begin walking back towards the bathroom when it burst open.

“And don’t hurt anypony! For that matter, if anypony other than me tries to come in, tell them we are busy and to come back later!”

Continuing to just stand there, Starlight once again backed out of the room, closing the door.

The ex king stood there, watching the seconds hand on the clock tick away. After a full minute, he sighed, and walked towards the bathroom. After his bath, he had a lot of reading to do.

4: When The Grim Dark Stallion Is In The Far Future, There Are Only Groans.

Author's Note

So sadly, for a time, this will be the only chapter by my coauthor. Life stuff is getting in the way, however they are still on board for helping preread, which is good.

Anyway, on we go, weee!

4: When The Grim Dark Stallion Is In The Far Future, There Are Only Groans.

The silence was something Sombra found worth savoring after the minutes since his resurrection. There had been more camaraderie and friendly antagonism than he had seen in the last thousand years, and a respite was sorely needed.

He hesitated at the threshold to the bathroom. Carpets, wooden furnitures, cushions… this place had so many soft comforts it was driving him mad. Whatever happened to good old crystal? He had an empire of the stuff once.

Sombra had a long, deep sigh. What fun those days were.

He walked over to inspect the bathtub, and was royally disappointed that the blue and red markings on the knob were exaggerated representations. This “tub”-implement did not dispense red hot lava or frigid, icy winds, merely hot or cold water, depending on his preference.

The cold setting produced water several degrees above the melting point. Even so, it was comfortable. He wasn’t allowed to lower the temperature since his… mare had ordered him not to use his magic, but even so, he let out a small moan of pleasure as he slid into the cold water, and if he closed his eyes he could almost pretend he was back in his old domain on a cold evening when the wind was still.

There was a knock on the door leading into the office, clearly audible through the open door leading into the bathroom.

“Uhm! Counselor Starlight!” a young stallion’s voice called. “Are you in there?”

Starlight… that was the name of the mare who commanded him to his very essence. What was it she said? Oh yes. Sombra couldn’t help but smile to himself.

“Me and the counselor are busy, young one!” he called, the satisfied smile evident from his tone.

“Oh, uhm… okay! Uh, what with, and… when will she be available and... uhm, who are you?”

“She seemed most preoccupied with her heat. young one. I see no end to her struggle in sight, and I am the one keeping her busy!”

There was nothing but silence for a few moments.

“Oh, uh… okay, I uh… I think I get it. Alright, uhm… thanks anyway!”

“One more thing, young one!”

“Yeah?”

“She wants you to ‘come back’ later,” Sombra called, in his best baritone.

“Oh, uh… wow. Okay, I’ll do that.”

“Good. Now run along.”

Sombra leaned back into the frigid waters and smiled contentedly to himself. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all?

After a few moments of relaxation, Sombra cleaned his mane and scrubbed the hooves and horn, infusing his coat with scents of plants from distant, fiersome places. No doubt the scent of highly poisonous, pony-eating plants that instilled an instinctual fear in those around them.

He slowly walked back towards the office, when he caught sight of himself in the mirror, and paused.

The mirror showed a stallion of impressive stature- tall, broad, and powerful, with a strong jaw with sharp fangs sticking out of his mouth. A shining coat, impressive mane and tail that would billow threateningly in the slightest wind, large hooves with unshorn fetlocks for increased intimidation factor, a large and wicked-looking horn, and fierce eyes that exuded a miasma of vile darkness.

That blue mare from earlier had acted very strange when he had held her close to him. It wasn’t fear, but it felt kind of flattering like fear did.

Sombra let out a dark, brooding sigh, then moved on.

Starlight’s office was filled with bookshelves and instruments, a desk, scrolls, and of course, books.

Sombra walked up to a shelf full of scrolls, and considered if carelessly pulling it all out counted as damaging the neat stack.

With a dejected sigh, he bit down on a scroll, taking care not to puncture it with his fangs, and unfurled it.

…

Sombra wasn’t expecting much, and yet he still managed to become disappointed with the scroll showing something as inane as a school report.

At least it told him what kind of facility this was. He folded it up again, and replaced it, instead moving to inspect the books.

Breaking In Your Students, How To Keep Parents From Running Roughshod Over Your Teaching Style, Horsing Around- The Importance of Leisure at School, When Your Faculty Are Saddled With Too Much. Sombra was getting worried, he had been ordered to read a book or something, with that “or something” being highly restricted. If he didn’t find anything better soon, he’d have to read about how to keep order in a classroom.

Still, the thought of being taught how to keep a class quiet was slightly amusing, when he had kept entire cities quiet.

To his relief, he found a book on the recent history of modern Equestria.

Sombra removed the carpet from the floor, crouched down and tapped the wooden floor, and sighed. There was a large cabinet with a glass door against one wall. If only he had been allowed a little destruction, he could have removed the glass and rested against that as he read.

Wood would have to do. He settled down on the, to him, soft throne, to start reading…

… When he looked out a window and caught sight of the enormous, glorious, wonderful-looking PURE CRYSTAL CASTLE right across town!

After a minute, Sombra’s hoof automatically moved to catch a string of drool coming from his mouth, to shield the book beneath his head. His mouth slammed shut with a snap, and he growled, before grudgingly taking his eyes off the wonderful sight and went back to reading.

Sombra liked maps, and statistics, and tables with numbers, and the little calculations he did in his head when he took it in.

After some time of reading about this new Equestria he hadn’t had the chance to see yet, the door opened, and Starlight came in.

Sombra looked up only long enough to see the relief on her face.

“Oh, are you reading?”

“Yes.”

“What about?”

“About how the world has changed since I have been gone. What has been built and lost.”

Starlight’s eyes carefully lit up. “Is it interesting?”

“Yes, plans for world domination are always interesting,” Sombra said, matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” Starlight said, her ears falling. “You’re not actually going to conquer the world are you?”

Finally, Sombra looked up at her with an even expression. “If you are commanding me to give you facts you are commanding me to foresee the future.”

Starlight’s eyes darted back and forth as she considered this.

“Well? Do I have to speak the truth?” Sombra asked, impatiently.

“Uhm, actually, that might be a good idea, yeah. Don’t lie.”

Sombra let out a sigh, his face and posture remaining absolutely still. “Then I do not know,” he said, before looking down at the book.

Starlight looked at Sombra for a moment, before doing her best to perk up. “Hey, let’s go get something to eat.”

“No.”

“No? Wait! Does that mean– no, that wasn’t an order,” Starlight said to herself, while Sombra looked at her warily through the corner of his eye. “Okay, how about this: Would you like to go get something to eat?”

“Yes,” Sombra immediately said, making himself look up in surprise.

“Great! Let’s go then.”

Sombra remained slouched on his throne for a moment as Starlight got up and bounded out the room, before getting up willingly, sparing himself the indignation of being ordered.

The town of Ponyville was peaceful, pastoral, orderly, and calm. All that was really needed was for the temperature to drop below freezing point and have all the ponies be in chains, and Sombra would have found it to his liking.

“So, what do you want to eat?” Starlight asked.

“I do not know,” Sombra said, keeping his gaze locked straight ahead.

“How about some ice cream?” she asked.

“Some what?”

“Here, I’ll show you,” Starlight said, and pulled Sombra over to what looked like a house made out of pastries.

Sombra hoped the building was a trap for foolish young foals to be trapped in, and while there were certainly young ponies in there who sort of seemed incapable of leaving, it wasn’t in the way Sombra had hoped for.

“This is Sugarcube Corner,” Starlight announced. “My friend Pinkie Pie works here, with Mr and Mrs Cake.”

“That’s right, dear,” a mare happily said. “So who is this handsome hunk you’ve managed to reel in?”

Sombra immediately felt a certain respect for the mare. Few ponies were both so ruthless and fierce that they managed to grow so large and rotund, at least not under his rule.

“I, uh, what? I-eh, nopony,” Starlight said, shifting nervously on her hooves. “I mean, he’s uh… not my, uhm… this is… Blacklight! Shade Blacklight.”

“Oh. What’s that coming out of his eyes?”

“The fel darkness of the neth–”

“Uh! It’s the latest!” Starlight interrupted. “All the stallions in… Fillydelphia, has that, or wants to have it.”

“… I see,” the rotund mare said. “Hello. I’m Cup Cake. Welcome to Sugarcube Corner.”

Sombra found himself inclining his head slightly at the mare. “Charmed.”

Mrs Cake smiled at the stallion, and then smiled some more. Eventually, it was becoming a little strained. “May I take your order?” she asked.

Starlight let out a relieved sigh. “Yes, two blueberry muffins.”

“They’re almost ready,” Mrs Cake said. “It should only be a few more minutes.”

“Okay, uhm, can we each have a raspberry popsicle while we wait”

“Of course,” Mrs Cake said, and retrieved two packages from behind the counter. “Enjoy.”

“Of course,” Starlight said, and nudged Sombra, voicing out of the side of her mouth, “Let us enjoy this indeed.”

Sombra looked down at Starlight, unfazed. “If that is your will.”

Starlight took the two articles in her magic, and they sat down at a booth, facing each other, and Sombra lazily letting his gaze drift across the room.

“What is this place?”

“It’s… a restaurant. Haven’t you ever been to a restaurant?”

“An eatery?” Sombra asked.

“Yes.”

“I see.”

Sombra hummed, and looked around some more. His eyes shot wide open when he saw an unfamiliar device in front of him.

It was a glass vial, with a metal top with holes through it, containing finely grounded salt. Crystal with crystal with crystal. Glorious!

Sombra immediately wrapped his hoof around the interesting object, and into his mouth it went.

Starlight’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened in horror as Sombra merrilly crunched the salt shaker in his strong jaws, looking very pleased with this development.

She carefully held out the popsicle for him once he had swallowed, and then thought better of it. She removed the paper packaging, and then held it out for him in her magic.

“What’s this?”

“The thing we’re actually here to eat,” Starlight said.

Most of the raspberry popsicle disappeared into Sombra’s mouth, including the tip of the wooden stick, and he considered the part he hadn’t eaten yet.

“Flavored ice. How novel.”

“You were supposed to enjoy that,” Starlight said, her ears struggling to stay upright.

Sombra cocked his head slightly at her. “Then you’ll be pleased to hear I did.”

“Oh. You weren’t supposed to eat the stick though.”

Sombra looked at the frayed end of the little piece of wood. “Then why include it?”

“It’s, uhm… it’s for holding it, so your hooves don’t get all sticky.”

“A transport arrangement and cutlery, built into the article itself. Fascinating,” Sombra said, nodding to himself as he wondered what other curious advancements had been made in Equestria.

Starlight was spared an answer when Mrs Cake appeared next to them, setting down one blueberry muffin each in front of them.

“Here you go, my dears. Enjoy.”

“Thank you,” Starlight said, as Sombra nodded in recognition to Mrs Cake.

“Well, go ahead,” Starlight said. “My treat.”

Sombra watched impassively as Starlight took a bite out of her muffin.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Don’t you want it?”

Sombra raised an eyebrow at her. “Does that matter? It’s your treat, as you said.”

“What? No, I mean, I…” Starlight started, and tried groaning a headache away. “What I meant was that I ordered that muffin for you.”

Sombra inspected the pastry in front of him. “I see,” he said, and studied the size of Starlight’s bite out of her own muffin, and tried imitating her. His gaze intensified when he tasted the berries inside.

“So, how do you feel about everything?” Starlight said. “It must be different from how you remember Equestria.”

“Hrm… certainly,” Sombra growled, spraying the table with moist crumbs.

“So, do you have any questions? Anything you’re curious about?”

Sombra poked at the muffin. “Yes. How did they manage to insert these little berries into the bread without breaking it?”

Starlight stared in disbelief at Sombra for a moment, before laughing.

Sombra didn’t care, he just kept inspecting the muffin.

“Is that what’s really on your mind?”

“No, I’m trying to devise a plan on how to get back into control and achieve true invincibility.”

Starlight’s smile became strained at that. “Oh. Uhm… do you have any leads?” she asked, as the bell over the entrance jingled from the door opening.

“Yes. If a champion who has defeated me would present themselves, I might be able to figure it out.”

Starlight’s eyes widened when she saw who entered the shop.

“Hey, Starlight,” Spike said, as he walked towards the counter.