Blueberry muffins and Gryphons

by dasniper4145

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Human
Length: 2654

My first fanfiction. I have no idea what I'm doing...

I walk into my bedroom one afternoon after dinner to find, not the cat, but a pony, on my bed. It was the same pony I had created earlier on pony-maker. Me, thinking it will be nice to its master, gets bucked in the jaw so hard, I'm sent to another dimension. Apparently it had my best interest at heart after all, as I'm sent to Equestria.
Yes this is a Human in Equestria fiction, and yes this is also my first fiction.
You have been warned.

Comments are welcome, and criticism is demanded.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-12 01:35:56 UTC

Bucks in the face

As I walked into my room after a delicious spaghetti and meatballs dinner that I had made,using only the freshest ingredients of course (those being a jar of Ragu and some noodles picked up at food city),  I noticed something was different. It is kind of hard not to notice a small pony sitting on your bed. As I looked closer, I noticed it looked just like the one I had drawn earlier that day.

"Well, hello there!" I said, right before it bucked me in the face.

When I woke up I found myself sitting on a rock beside a stream, in a forest.

"What in the world was that for!" I said to no one in particular.

As I looked around some more, I noticed something looked strange about the way I perceived things.

"Holy poop on a Popsicle! I'm in a cartoon!" I said as I came to the sudden realization.

"Just in case... Ouch!" I said as I pinched myself with my talons...

"Talons? Why do I have talons? And, this isn't a dream. Now if I'm hallucinating...Ouch again!" I said as I bumped my beak against the side of the rock I was on...

"Wait a second... Beak... Talons..." I looked over my shoulder and spotted a pair of wings on my exceptionally feathery back.

"This... is ... AWESOME! Im a Griffon! But wait a second..." I said as I thought about my predicament for a moment.

"Oh yes... Don't tell me..." Just as I said that, a small chicken came out of a bush nearby.

"Yep... this is definitely Mlp:fim... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" I got cut off as the chicken turned cockatrice froze me to stone.

When I woke up, I was in a small white room. A quick look around the room revealed a window on one end showing a beautiful sunrise over a small village, a wooden door directly in front of the small white bed I was tucked in to, and a small nightstand with a gray clipboard on it stood to my right. I finally came to the realization: This wasn't my bedroom.

"Holy poop on a Popsicle Batman!" I said

Then I remembered what happened before I got into a staring contest with a cockatrice.

"Woohoo! I'm a gryphon! " I yelled as I stretched out my huge wings, the wingtips easily touching the walls.

My yell apparently attracted the attention of someone behind the door, as I heard some rapid whispers coming from behind it. A few seconds later the door was enveloped in a purple aura and opened to reveal a group of small, multicolored ponies.

The one up front was purple and had a horn.

Hmm... twilight sparkle and the group? Aren't I just lucky.

Behind her was an orange pony with a cowboy hat on.

Applejack

Beside her was a rainbow maned, cyan pegasus.

Rainbowdash

That was all who came through the door, and I pondered where the others were. They are normally all together. The first to speak was Twilight.

"Monui, quomodo es sentiens?"

I was caught slightly off guard by the strange language. I recognized it slightly,but could not understand it.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I didn't quite catch that."

Applejack and Rainbowdash both seemed bewildered by the way I spoke. They didn't seem to understand me. Twilight however seemed intrigued.

"Do you ,perhaps, speak my language?"

I was surprised when she responded," No. Please speak equestrian if you would please.

"I don't fluently speak equestrian. Could you translate?"

She looked at me with a confused look on her face.

dawwwww....

Anyways.

"Did you understand that?"

"I only know that phrase and this one explaining it."

...

I broke out laughing. RD and AJ looked at twilight, confused. She just shrugged back at them. When I had calmed down to a chuckle, I had an idea. I looked around at what was near me, and spotted a familiar grey object on the nightstand. I reached over and grabbed it, opening it with a click to reveal paper and pencils inside. It also had my Ti-84 plus in it. I took out a paper and a pencil and set it down in my lap. I closed the grey clipboard, placing the paper on it, and snapping it tight. I started righting on it. When I was done, I showed it to them.

(If you can read this, nod.)

I made sure to show it to every pony in the room just in case. Surely enough, they all nodded. I fist pumped in triumph. They backed up a bit. I realized that probably seemed hostile to them, so I wrote another note, this one a bit longer.

(Sorry about that, I mean you no harm. My name is Joshua. May I ask where I am? One minute I'm at home, the next I'm in the Everfree. Also, a better way of communication would be useful.)

When they read this, they had looks of interest on their faces. Well, except rainbow. She just kinda looked suspicious. Probably because every other gryphon they had met had turned out to be a complete and total douche in a bag. Oh yeah, adding 'Punch Gilda in the face when possible' to my to-do list. Twilight seemed to have remembered something, and her horn glowed for a second. I felt an odd sensation in my ears.

"Can you understand me now?"

The voice that came from Twilight was the one I recognized from the show.

So. Much. Win.

Earlier it had been with a strange accent, making it hard to even recognize the voice.

"Why yes I can!" I said, excited.

Rainbow looked at Twilight, confused.

"Hmmmm... that should have acted as a translator." Twilight said.

I shrugged my shoulders, my wings being attached to them shifting slightly. I almost forgot I had those.

"He seems to understand us, but I wonder why it won't work back."

I thought a second before writing.

(Could it be because I'm not mentally stable? Haha, just kidding. But could it be from interference from another spell? like a teleportation spell? I did get teleported here after all.)

"Well, that could certainly be the cause. The spell only affects your subconscious, and teleportation sometimes alters your subconscious minorly. It should start working both ways soon though . . ."

She seemed to remember something else.

"Another gryphon arrived about ten yards from you. Would you know him? He seems rather small for a gryphon."

I gave it a thought before writing back:

(I don't know who else got teleported. It could be any gryphon. I could check though.)

I highly doubted I would recognize whoever it was, but it would be nice if there was another human-turned-gryphon here. I crawled out of bed, taking a second to pop all of my joints and back, and get used to four legs. Surprisingly, it came naturally after a second. Once I was done I started towards the ponies, placing the clipboard in a little fold under my wing

that must be how they do that whole store without pockets thing! How convenient!. As I stood in front of them, I realized just how much taller I was then them, Being roughly the same height as I was as a human, 6'2", I towered over them. Twilight shied away a little, probably from my size. I reached out a talon and balled it up into a fist. I held it in front of twilight for a second, her cautious as to what it meant.

She slowly raised her hoof, and ever so slightly tapped my fist.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Oh.

Mah.

Gosh.

I'm gonna like it here. I can tell already.

Delicious Muffins!

As we walked down the hall, I decided to ask a few questions to figure out the date in the show. I would have to be subtle with my queries. I wrote a short note to twilight.

(So, are you the same Twilight Sparkle that is the princesses student?)

She looked over at my note.

"Why yes, yes I am. How did you know?"

Think fast! (Lucky guess. By the way, how's your brother doing?)

Close enough.

Twilight looked at me suspiciously.

"Why do you ask? Do you know him?"

I thought for a moment.

(I'm not a spy. I'm just well informed. and paranoid. So, has anything important happened in the past month or two?)

She still seemed suspicious, and looked at me awkwardly before responding.

"Yes, my brother got married last week."

Well that sure is helpful. So it's one week after the royal wedding. I should probably be glad I'm not a changeling.

"Well, here's his room. He was found sleeping, and still hasn't woken up yet. My friend fluttershy has been trying to wake him up."

I walked into the room and noticed a few things.

First, a small, white gryphon laying in the bed in the room, snoring loudly.

Next a small bundle of fur and d'awwww sitting next to it, known to me as Fluttershy.

Finally, my heart, which was suffering from a d'awwww overload.

Must not dawww. . . must not. . .

"hello Fluttershy. I see he's still not up yet?" Twilight said, prompting Fluttershy to let out a small, and may I say cute, squeak of surprise.

That's not helping the d'awwww....

I apparently had a stupid grin on my face, as I noticed fluttershy staring at me. I shook my head and regained my composure.

"Sorry 'bout that, just thought you looked familiar."

At this, Twilight gasped.

"You spoke! The spell did work!"

"Well would ya look at that! Ok now back to the problem at hand." I responded.

"What's a hand?"

"Figure of speech. Ok! So this looks ALOT like my buddy Basil from school. However, I must test something first!"

I walked over to the side of the bed and looked at the stand next to it. On it was my friend's green backpack.

"Yup, definitely him."

Now I proceeded to latch onto the side of his bed and shake the mattress. He didn't budge.

drastic measures time

With a huff and a shove, I flipped the mattress.

The other ponies in the room let out a collective gasp as my friend thudded to the ground.

No response.

"Okay guys, this is definitely my friend. Unfortunately for him to wake up he needs some type of food."

Fluttershy let out a small ,terrified ,and cute squeak. The others looked at her as she whispered something to them. I caught the word 'carnivore' in there. Twilight and Applejack went pale.

I could guess the subject.

"Don't worry, I meant like a cookie or something! Gosh, its not like I would be so barbaric as to actually eat a sentient being!"

When I said this ,they all seemed to calm down a bit.

"Ok then, what should we get him?" Twilight asked.

As I was about to respond, I was cut off by a pink pony pouncing from private places.

"Here yah go!"

"AH!"

She was holding a large cookie above my unclenched talon that was somehow in front of me.

Wait a second! this isn't where I parked my hand!

I grabbed the cookie. It looked chocolate chip and was about 6 inches in diameter. Perfect. I held it over my friends beak for a second, when he suddenly took a sniff, and bit into the cookie. I let go of it as his beak grabbed hold of it, saving my talons from certain doom. His eyes shot open, and he looked around.

"Hello there Basil. If you would please, not freak out-"

"Woohoo! Im a gryphon! BEST DREAM EVER!"

At this point I did the only thing a friend can do in those type of odd situations. I punched him in the arm.

"Ouch!"

...

"I'm not dreaming am I?"

"Nope. Also, I'm Joshua. Now stop freaking out, you're gonna scare them." I motioned towards the ponies. I leaned over to him and whispered,"Don't freak out, but we are in the MLP universe." Now, my buddy basil wasn't a brony, but he certainly didn't hate the show either, He just never had the chance to watch an episode.

Maybe I can get him back home and just stay here myself. I don't have a terrible life at home, but this is a dream come true. A small aura surrounded basil's beak for a second.

"What was that?" Basil asked, slightly surprised.

"A translation spell. Okay, now that you are up, let's try and find out how you got in the middle of the Everfree." Twilight said. Basil looked at me and asked ,"What's the Everfree?"

"An evil forest filled with monsters, which reminds me." I whispered into his ear. "No meat for now. We can't be scaring the local herbivores." He let out a disappointed "Aaaaaawwww....".

"I'm serious, Don't."

"Don't be sad! Ooh, I know!" Pinkie pie came out of nowhere. "Have a cookie!" She handed him another giant cookie."I haven't forgotten you either Joshy!" She handed me a blueberry muffin, my favorite kind!

"She knows that blueberry is the superior muffin!"

I bow to her in mock respect.

"I am at your service my liege."

Pinkie pie leaned in close to me for a second and whispered" So you haven't told them their cartoons yet have yo-"

I cut her off with a talon clamped over her mouth. Her eyes widened with realization. "Well that's not the normal reaction... Oh well!" I decided to not question it. The others were looking on in bewilderment.

"What... just happened?" Rainbowdash asked.

"I think Pinkie Pie just got a gryphon to pledge allegiance to her. . ." Twilight responded.

"Yup! He's gonna work with me at the bakery!" Pinkie said.

"Wait... What? I didn't... Oh well, I'm ok with this." I was a bit shocked that they took it seriously, but at least it was one of the better ponies I could have pledged to. Rarity or Rainbowdash would have been terrible.

At this point Basil was getting done with his cookie.

"So what are we gonna do Josh? We can't live in the hospital. Oh yeah, and thank you for the cookie, Miss Pie was it?" My friend can be very polite to people he sees as nice, such as those who give him cookies.

"Well, first thing we gotta do is see if anyone else got transported here. Do you remember anything before passing out?" I asked.

"Well, I was over at Noah's house, when I saw a flash of light over by where he was. I looked over and he was gone! Next thing I knew I felt something hit my head, and then blackness." My buddy Noah might be here? This could complicate things. He is rather stubborn, and is very bad at adapting to new environments. This one time I went to a bonfire party with him. Someone forgot to bring fuel for the fire (AKA wood and gasoline) ,and he nearly broke down into tears. He didn't even realize the giant forest right next to us was full of, you will never believe it, WOOD! I swear, the guy has book smarts out the wazoo, but when it comes to common sense he has next to nothing.

Twilight was scuffing the floor and making an impression of the kid who got into the cookie jar.

"Twilight, is there something you wish to share with the rest of the group?" I asked.

"Well, there was something else out there where they we found you... I'm not sure if it's your friend though. It's not a gryphon." She answered. I shot an eyebrow up at this statement and looked at Basil and shrugged. He shrugged back. Very informative.

"Care to elaborate on what it was then?" I asked.

"It was a machine."