Chapters I’ve always loved snow. It’s a rare treat. When it has the discourtesy to arrive in December and hang around until March and make doing anything impossible, it becomes another matter, but that rare, brief dusting of snow that melts away a couple of days later has always filled me with a childlike wonder. It reminds me of the very rare white Christmases we had when I was just a boy. I certainly preferred it to the heat of the summer. If you got cold, you could head inside and warm up by the fire. There was no escaping the summer heat. It was also rather pleasing aesthetically. In those colder months, when rain was the default weather, the snow and frost would hide away the mud, leaving everything firm and crisp underfoot. No more slipping and sliding in the mud, just the sound of crunching snow under your boots. And if nothing else, it was just absolutely beautiful to look at, particularly out here, where there was nopony for miles around. There were no tracks, no ploughed and salted roads. For as far as the eye could see, there was just an unbroken blanket of pristine whiteness.
Sweet Apple Acres has many forms throughout the year. The changing seasons affect the farm in almost every way, seeming to change its very character. Right now, everything was peaceful, calm and serene. Everything was at rest as the winter slowly crept by. The trees in the apple orchard were bare of fruit and leaves, and were wrapped up to protect them against the cold. The fields were almost indistinguishable from the farm tracks, and it was only by carefully spotting the fence posts that jutted up through the drifts that you could tell where one ended and the other began. The only thing that broke the unending sea of white was the farmhouse and the surrounding buildings. The bright red stood out like a ship sailing on a strange sea, and come nightfall, when the cold temperatures would light the sky up as if it were filled with diamonds, the lights and fires of home could be seen from almost anywhere on the farm to guide you home.
It was early morning right now though, and most of those lights were off, although a thin grey plume slowly made its way up from the chimney. The fireplace in the living room had been burning almost non-stop, keeping the farmhouse, and the attached barn warm against the biting winter cold. I was certainly glad for my hide that kept the cold off, as well as the deep red scarf that was currently wrapped around my neck. Beyond that and my much loved stetson though, I had little need of other clothes. Applejack has however suggested I invest in some good boots for this kind of weather. If nothing else, having melted snow on your hooves when you come into the house is not a fun experience. Unless you consider freezing to be fun.
Standing on the threshold of the doorway that led out of the kitchen, I strained to listen with my much more sensitive equine ears. There was a little wind blowing at the moment, but nothing too harsh, more like a gentle breeze. You could hear the odd birdsong, and the gentle babbling of a nearby stream. But beyond that, there was nothing but beautiful silence. I still couldn’t believe how lucky I was, even after all these years.
I mean here I was, a human who found himself turned into a unicorn. That alone was weird enough when I look back on where I thought my life was heading before I ended up here. But since arriving here, I’ve found myself a job, a home, learnt more than I thought I could in a lifetime, and I even found love. So I guess strange interdimensional portals aren’t all bad. I certainly wouldn’t trade this place, Hell, even this moment, for anything.
As I enjoyed the tranquil silence, my sensitive equine ears picked up a sound coming from behind me. Turning around, I looked back into the farmhouse. The place was just what you might expect from a rural farm in the Midwestern United States; rustic and homely. The floor underhoof was mainly wooden floorboards, while the nearby walls, apart from the painted skirting boards, were wallpapered with an apple motif of some sort, or painted in earthy tones. Along the walls you’d find family photographs going back three generations at least. It was well kept, but hardly the lap of luxury. Then again, I doubt its owners would care for something so ostentatious. Everything was practical and simple, but at the same time held a sentimental value. The kitchen where I had just come from, and whose door led out into the snow covered farmyard reflected this. There was a basic sink and stove, with cupboards for storage, a simple wooden table with place settings for five. On the one wall were pans and utensils hanging and ready for use. And up one corner there hung a barometer, which was currently sitting at ‘fair’. It was your classic home country kitchen, from which all sorts of delicious home cooked meals came from.
There was however, one exception to all this plain and simple aesthetic, and that was the pony who now stood before me. She was an earth pony, meaning she had neither a horn nor wings, but was gifted with great endurance, and strength enough to make even Superman sit up and take notice. It would be a crime to describe her as plain. She was a touch shorter than me, but not by much and was quite able to look me in the eye, and her form showed that she was a mare who wasn’t afraid of a little hard work. Her coat was warm orange that stood in sharp contrast to the coal dust grey of my own. Her mane was a light blonde. She kept it long, but had styled it in, if you’ll excuse the expression, a pony tail, with a bright red ribbon keeping it tied together. This now hung loosely over her right shoulder. The rest was covered up by a stetson hat similar to my own, although hers was a lighter shade, verging on butternut. She had a soft friendly face, with three adorable freckles on each cheek. A kind smile and sparkling green eyes that held a look of self assured confidence rounded out the package.
This was Applejack; the love of my life.
I’d first come across her back when she was nothing more than a fictional character in a kids' TV show. I’d spent about a year watching episodes before we actually met in person. I always liked her character; honest, hard working, kind to everypony she came across, but still with her own flaws and foibles. She could be as stubborn as a mule and her protective big sister instincts had more than once annoyed her younger sister, and like a lot of the Apple family, she could be set in her ways at times. But at the same time, you could count on her to help you out when you were in trouble, and let’s face it, when I first got here, she and her family took me in, gave me food and a bed when they had almost no idea who I was. I owed her more than I could ever repay.
Still, I volunteered and tried to help out on the farm while my family and I were stranded here. I knew jack about farming, but Applejack taught me the basics; enough to help out at any rate. We’d quickly become friends. Applejack respects a pony who’s willing to work hard. She was intrigued by what I could tell her about life on Earth, and some of the commonalities between there and Equestria. She also helped me get used to the new pony body I found myself saddled (if you’ll excuse the pun) with.
After it became clear we would be stuck here longer than a couple of weeks, my residence on the farm became permanent. The family were more than happy for me to stay with them long term, to help lighten the load of farm work if nothing else. By then Applejack and I had become good friends, to the point that I actually felt relieved when it became clear that we wouldn’t be parting ways for some time.
However, it wasn’t too long after I got back to the farm that things began to change. It was subtle at first, and I hardly noticed it. But little by little, I began to think of Applejack as something more than just a friend. I’d made all sorts of friends in my relatively short time in Equestria. Twilight and I had naturally bonded due to our shared interest in magic, books, and a half dozen other things. I’d also been lucky enough to meet both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, with the latter and I eventually becoming close friends, developing a sort of mentor and student relationship. But Applejack was different. I found myself longing for her company when she wasn’t around, and happy whenever we had the chance to be together.
At first, I just disregarded it as a passing crush. After all, she was pretty, as far as magical technicolour ponies go, and the two of us had become close friends over the past month or so. But it didn’t go away. If anything it intensified. Now, at that point, I’d never been in love in my life. I was pretty much convinced and do somewhat maintain that I’m asexual. Even with this crush, I had little interest in jumping her bones. But I did find myself seeking that emotional closeness. Still, there was no way that she’d return my feelings, right?
So I buried my head in the sand like a fool for the next few weeks. Even when Applejack began to show signs of returning my affections, I still didn’t allow myself to take the plunge and act on my feelings. Looking back on it now, I feel like an idiot. I almost let The One get away. Had events not transpired as they did, Applejack may well have decided I was not interested. In the end, it took a certain romance loving fashion designer, and no less than the Princess of Love herself to give me the kick in the rear I needed. Rarity realised what was going on when the two of us happened to get to talking about Applejack. She actually smacked me when she realised I had no idea that AJ was interested in me. But it was Princess Cadence who finally drew back the veil.
I have to admit, before I wound up here, I never really liked Princess Mi Amore Cadenza . I always figured she existed just to sell more toys for Hasbro. Plus, I always thought her ‘love magic’ was way too close to the magic used by the changeling that tried to impersonate her. I thought she forced ponies to fall in love. But in that regard, I was mistaken. It’s a little hard to describe what it is. The best description I can give is that her magic causes the fog to lift. It doesn’t create any new feelings in ponies, it just makes them more apparent. And her intervention helped me realise that love I felt for Applejack, which I had previously been repressing under layers of claimed asexuality and mental dysfunction brought on by bad experiences in high school.
The two of us had talked that evening, and from there, entered into a most unusual relationship.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Bones,” she said as she adjusted her own stetson. “Ready to head out?”
“Sure, AJ,” I replied with a nod. “It doesn’t seem to be too cold out there now. The wind has really died down overnight. Should be quite nice to walk around the farm.”
“Just make sure you check all the trees, Bones,” she reminded me. “The last thing we need is any of ‘em comin’ down with disease or gettin’ gnawed on by varmints.”
Yes, while it was very pretty outside, the two of us did have work to do today. Ever since winter set in, the two of us have been making a circuit around the farm once a week, checking on all the apple trees to ensure they’re free of disease and that no pests are taking up residence nearby. Sweet Apple Acres isn’t that far from the Everfree Forest, a deeply unsettling patch of woodland whose flora and fauna operate on a different rule set from the rest of Equestria. So it wasn’t an impossibility that wildlife from in there, looking to get away from the timberwolves, cockatrices, and manticores, might venture onto the farm and take an interest in the apple trees. And there was always Angel Bunny, the King of Varmints, although the apple trees were a little large for him to bother, but we had other crops.
“Ain’t that the truth,” I agreed, turning back to the open doorway. “Come on, let’s head out before we let all the warmth out.”
And so the two of us set out on our trek around the farm. I quickly found myself envying the jacket and small green boots that Applejack had on to protect herself from the cold snow.
The snow, to be fair, wasn’t that deep, but metal horseshoes hardly helped matters. Still, at least the wind was pretty calm and a soft winter sun was shining in the clear blue sky. It reminded me of Lapland somewhat. Our breath turned into vapour, vanishing a moment later in the crisp morning air. We had a bit of a walk to start with.
You see, Sweet Apple Acres is divided up into various orchards, fields, and other points of interest. The farmhouse and barn from which we’d just come was at the near centre of the property, with paths and tracks extending outward like spokes on a wheel, with a single main thoroughfare that led to the edge of the farm and set you on the main road into Ponyville, the nearest town to the place. We’d be going through just the orchards today. The fields for other crops, such as carrots and grapes to name a couple, were all covered with snow at this point. However, while the apple trees were bare, they still needed to be checked regularly to guard against pests and disease. The orchards were divided up around the points of the compass, so you had a north orchard, north east, east, south east, and so on. Each one had hundreds of apple trees, and was subdivided into various sections reflecting the age and use of those particular trees. Some were newly planted this year and would be harvested this coming fall. Others had come to the end of their time and had been earmarked for felling next month, so be replanted with new stock in the spring. Then of course, you had special sections of the farm, such as the zap apple trees in the southern orchard, or the vampire fruit bat reservation in the north east orchard. All had to be checked and inspected.
Still, before we started any of that, we had to get there. The best way we’d found was to head to the north orchard, and from there work our way around the farm in a clockwise fashion, before heading back to the farmhouse. It would take the better part of a day, to the point that Applejack had brought along a pair of saddlebags filled with lunch and a thermos full of coffee.
For a while, the two of us walked in companionable silence. A lot of people say that silence is unsettling. And while in some cases that can be true, at times like this, it just adds to the serenity of our surroundings. The two of us didn’t need to say anything to each other as we walked side by side through the soft snow. The bond we have, odd though it might be to some, exists beyond mere words; it is an unspoken closeness and familiarity. I know for a fact that Shining Armor and Princess Cadence have something similar.
Eventually though, Applejack felt the need to chat a little. And while there may be nothing wrong with silence, it’s also nice to talk to your marefriend as you walk along together on a winter morning.
“It sure is beautiful, ain’t it, Bones?” she said, turning to me. I nodded.
“It sure is, AJ,” I replied. “I kinda feel guilty for walkin’ through the snow like this. Like I’m damagin’ it somehow.”
“Well, Rainbow says we’re due for another flurry tonight,” Applejack replied. “I reckon give it an hour or so, and y’all would never have guessed anypony walked here.”
“The school must look mighty beautiful as well with all this snow,” I added.
In addition to looking after the farm, Applejack is a professor teaching at Princess Twilight’s School of Friendship. The place just finished its first year and, apart from a couple of mishaps, had done a great deal in spreading the magic of friendship beyond Equestria and teaching ponies about the various creatures that lived beyond their borders.
It hadn’t been entirely plain sailing, mind you. In fact, one of its wannabe alumni had found herself arrested and imprisoned in Tartarus no less. Cozy Glow, a filly not yet ten years old, despite instruction from the mare beside me, Twilight, and her friends, had been unable to grasp the magic of friendship, and had instead sought to use it to somehow take over the realm. With the help of an evil centaur, Tirek, who Twilight and the others had seen off before, she tried to drain all the magic from Equestria. Fortunately, her fellow students managed to stop her before the damage she did had become irreversible.
Now, I’ve lived here a few years. I’ve been through insane centaurs, love stealing changelings, and even a mad monkey that tried to control the weather, but I never thought we’d be threatened by a little filly. Still, despite outward appearances, she had been very dangerous. Nonetheless, the revelation had surprised everypony. When magic started disappearing, they all figured Tirek was behind it. As it stands, I know they all, and Twilight in particular, were hurt by what happened to Cozy.
I shook that thought off. There were better things to ponder now. The other students had all graduated from their first year and would soon be returning to continue their studies, as would a whole new class of students.
“I sure am lookin’ forward to headin’ back in a month or so,” AJ agreed. “I know it means more work here, but it brings us a little more money, and it is great teaching everycreature about honesty.”
Honesty of course, is the element Applejack carries. I tell you, the mare is all but incapable of telling a lie. But on the flip side, she has a knack for spotting liars, say those irritating shysters Flim and Flam for example.
“I don’t mind,” I replied. “Particularly as I get to join you from time to time.”
After the semester ended, I broached the idea with Twilight of me possibly coming in to help out with the school too. While I do enjoy the farming life, my other hobby is magic. Finding myself a unicorn, from almost day one I was spending time with Twilight learning all I could. And I continue to do so today, in an amateur capacity at least. My interest lies in the relatively unexplored subject of dark magic, more specifically, how to counter it. I’m no Twilight Sparkle when it comes to magical might, but I can still contribute to the theoretical side of things, and there are plenty of spells that I can manage beyond that of your average unicorn. Twilight says I’m somewhat above average, I don’t hold a candle to her, but I pack more of a wallop than your average unicorn. The school has access to a huge library of resources, and in exchange for me doing my own research, I help cover classes from time to time.
Not today though. Right now, the school was locked up. The students had all gone home for the holidays and the teachers were busy with their other jobs. AJ here had her farm, Rarity her fashion business, Fluttershy her animal sanctuary, Pinkie had her job at Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow was an active Wonderbolt, and Twilight had her princess duties. Honestly, if it wasn’t for winter, closing the school and bringing life on the farm almost to a state of hibernation, Applejack would run herself ragged.
“The kids like you too,” Applejack added. “I know you and Gallus get on really well.”
That was one of the, shall we say, international students. He was a young griffon out of Griffonstone. By Equestrian standards, he came from a bit of a rough background. His parents were out of the picture and his only other relative was his cranky old bastard of a grandfather, who didn’t much care for him. Luckily, at the school, he had friends his own age, plus teachers who’d rally around him, myself included. He was a stand up guy too, considering he helped stop Cozy’s bonkers plan last autumn.
“Well, this place is still my first love. Well, after you anyway,” AJ chuckled at that and we both nuzzled for a moment.
Before too long, we arrived at our start point as it were. We were in the north orchard. Surrounding us were rows upon rows of apple trees, all bare now, their branches covered in snow and their trunks encased in protective covers, called trunk guards. They protected the bark of the tree against damage done by the winter sun, as well as stopping any animals from nibbling away in the cold winter months. In another month or so we’d be taking them off as the weather changed.
That wouldn’t be for a while yet though. For the time being, we were only doing a quick inspection of each tree, checking that the guard was still in place and ensuring that each tree was healthy and not being damaged by any wild animals. The walk here had warmed us up a fair bit, despite the cold morning.
“So, how do you want to do this?” I asked, turning to AJ again. “Divide and conquer?” She shook her head.
“I’d rather we stick together,” she replied. “Better to have two sets of eyes checkin’ each tree instead of one.” A fair point.
“It’ll take a lot longer that way,” I pointed out. Applejack shot me her signature look, raising one eyebrow.
“Got somewhere to be?” she asked in that soft drawl of hers. “Besides, it seems mighty un-gentlecolt-like of you to take a lady all the way out here and then just leave her all alone.”
“And I am nothin’ if not a gentlecolt,” I replied with a smile. I offered her the crook of my foreleg. “Shall we then?”
And with that, we set to work.
I won’t bore you with a blow by blow account of the next few hours. It wouldn’t make for particularly good reading, and I don’t think I have the skill to make inspecting thousands upon thousands of apple trees for damage or disease interesting. So, let’s have a bit of a highlight reel, shall we?
For the most part, the trees had endured the winter well, thanks to their protective shells. A few here and there had the odd minor ailment that would bear watching in the next few months, but there was nothing serious. Here and there, a couple of the trunk guards had come loose and partially fallen off, probably due to high winds we had when this snow first blew in. AJ and I used a combination of magic and pony power to put them back in place.
Not that Applejack needed my help in that department, mind. The mare is strong even by earth pony standards, surpassed perhaps only by her older brother, who I once recall, in the throes of a mishandled love poison, dragged a house clear off of its foundations and dragged it across town, bouncing all the way. Applejack’s most impressive feat in contrast, is probably the time she managed to catch and redirect a huge boulder that was...oh, no more than twenty times her size, which was about to land on a few other ponies. Needless to say, even if you count my magic, she had quite the edge on me. So you can imagine that she didn’t really need myself lifting the tree guards back into place. In fact, she could probably have lifted up the entire tree without too much effort. I certainly never want to find myself on the receiving end of one of her kicks. On that front, she outshines even Big Mac.
If nothing else though, it was nice to spend time together, effectively alone, as we worked our way through the orchards. We wound our way steadily around the points of the compass, checking the ancient trees that had been here since the founding of the farm, to the newest saplings planted last year, who needed to be carefully watched to ensure they survived this harsh winter.
Eventually though, we did come across something interesting, in a section of the farm that bordered the Everfree Forest. We weren’t too far from the vampire fruit bat reservation; the section of the farm that wouldn’t be harvested this year, but would be the following, while the bats would be shepherded to a new section of the orchards. The idea was by letting them have the place and eat the fruit, the next generation of trees would be hardier and produce a better crop. A short term loss for a long term gain. Anyway, this section in contrast, was still in use and come the autumn would be full of succulent apples ripe for harvesting.
At the moment though, there were signs of a potential problem on more than a few of the trees.
You see, the tree guards we had didn’t completely cover the trees. They covered a good portion of the trunk, sure, but as soon as this gave way to either branches up top, or roots down below as the tree spread out, the guard stopped. And around about half a dozen trees, you could see places where not only the bark, but also some of the tissue in some cases, had been nibbled away. Now, luckily, the damage on all of them was fairly light, certainly not being enough to warrant concern for the tree’s survival. However, the damage to the tree’s system would mean that the crop yield this year might be lower. And as on any farm, Sweet Apple Acres operated on somewhat narrow margins.
“Take a look at this,” I said, calling Applejack over. The mare frowned as she saw the damage.
“Dagnabbit,” she said crossly. “Darn varmints have been at it again.” I nodded in agreement.
“Eeyup,” I said, imitating her older brother. “Those rabbits are back.”
All through the winter, we’d been engaged in something of a guerilla war with a group of rabbits. Their warren had to be somewhere just outside the farm, near the Everfree Forest. Every now and then a band of them would come onto the farm and cause havoc, vanishing before morning. They’d nibble trees, dig up carrots and other crops, and sometimes even chew their way through fences. Up until now, we’d done our best to deter them, but with little success. Having read Watership Down as a child, I knew rabbits could be clever when they wanted to be. Were we in that story, I’d wager we were getting raided by the local Owsla on a Wide Patrol out of the Everfree. Putting beloved childhood books that I certainly, in hindsight, shouldn’t have given to a certain animal loving pegasus, aside, I turned my attention back to the injured trees. AJ has taught me a good deal over the years about looking after them. As I said before, the wounds weren’t too severe. Still, I always defer to the expert.
“What do you think?” I asked. “Should we leave them to heal on their own, or paint it over?” AJ joined me to take a look at the wounds.
“Well, it don’t look too bad,” she said after a moment. “If we just scrape away the loose bark, it should heal up fine.” I nodded in agreement.
“Fair enough,” I said. “But what about the rabbits? You know critters like that just keep comin’ until you get rid of ‘em. We gotta do somethin’.”
As an animal lover myself, I was loathe to do harm to rabbits, but if this kept up, they could do serious damage, and ultimately kill the tree by doing enough damage to its circulatory system that it couldn’t feed itself. Applejack had told how they had lost trees to deer many years ago, hence why they now used trunk guards every year.
Once upon a time, Applejack would have taken the direct approach to pest control. However, since the incident with the vampire fruit bats and the creation of the little reservation on the farm, she nowadays tends to favour more diplomatic solutions.
“Maybe we can ask Fluttershy to stop by,” she suggested. “I could get Winona to help us track the critters back to their homes, and then she could help us work things out.”
Fluttershy’s innate ability to communicate with animals has allowed her to serve as a mediator in similar situations, both here on the farm and elsewhere. After all, how else could she keep her animal sanctuary running peacefully, and have the lion, quite literally, lie down with the lamb? And, more to the point, have both get back up again unharmed.
“Sure sounds better than settin’ snares or puttin’ anythin’ down,” I agreed. “I was gonna go see Lizzie tomorrow anyway. Want me to stop by then?” Applejack nodded.
After that, the two of us paused in our journey around the farm for lunch. I don’t think the show ever really brought home just how large the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres is. It would take you the better part of five hours to walk from one side of the farm to the other as the crow flies. Going from the farmhouse to town isn’t as bad, but it’s still a good hour or so by hoof. As a result, it simply didn’t make sense to go all the way back to the farmhouse for lunch. By the time we’d have gotten back, had lunch and returned to where we’d been, it would almost be time to head home for dinner. So it made more sense to carry packed lunches, which Applejack had in the pair of saddlebags that were slung across her back.
Heading for a small clearing away from the trees, the two of us settled down on a log to rest our hooves. Celestia knows walking all day made them sore enough. We’d got coffee in a couple thermoses as well as a few dandelion sandwiches to snack on. Equestria hasn’t yet discovered granola bars or MREs. Still they were filling enough. I’d also brought my flint and steel with me. Bushcraft is one of the many things I’ve picked up living out here. After rooting around in the snow and gathering up some loose twigs and branches, I managed to get a decent fire going to warm us up. Fire spells are something I tend to stay away from, despite having my own horn. It’s easy enough to get it going, but much harder to control it to just make a small flame. Flint and steel was much easier.
The two of us sat side by side, the coffee and the campfire warming us up nicely. Still, I once again found myself jealous of AJ’s jacket and boots. We soon got to talking again after we’d taken the edge off of our hunger.
“It’s been a while since we both went out around the farm like this,” I commented, taking a bite out of my sandwich. “I’d forgotten how peaceful it can be out here.”
“Peaceful, sure,” Applejack agreed, extending her hooves out to the small fire. “But it sure is mighty cold this winter. I’m freezin’!”
It did seem to be getting a little colder. The wind had picked up a bit throughout the morning, making it feel noticeably colder than before. Aside from the fire, there was only one other way I could think of to keep warm, and it let me be a little romantic too. Shuffling over on the log, I wrapped a foreleg around Applejack and pulled her close. She was actually reasonably warm to the touch.”
“Bones!” she squeaked out in surprise. I chuckled.
“You said you were cold,” I replied with a grin. “Here.”
I unwound the scarf from around my neck and, with a bit of magic, wrapped it around her instead. It wasn’t doing me any good on its own anyway. AJ though, hates being made a fuss of, she likes to be independent and sometimes has trouble accepting help from others, a personality flaw we both share. Still, after resisting for a moment, she finally gave in and accepted the little gift.
“Thanks, Sugarcube,” she said as she leaned into me and rested her head on my shoulder, wrapping one of her own forelegs around my barrel.
That word still makes me cheeks blush and my heart flutter, even after all this time.
After lunch, we continued on our way around the farm. Luckily though, the rest of the orchards were all in good order, and it wasn’t too long before we were heading back to the farmhouse. It was getting on for early evening now. The wind had dropped, but so had the temperature. The winter sun hung low and bright in the sky, causing the soft snow to glitter as the light reflected through it. And while my teeth might have been chattering, I still loved how beautiful the winter was. That didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking of the roaring fire back at the farmhouse though.
And at least the snow wasn’t that deep. Big Mac and I had made homemade snowshoes a year or so back, after a snowstorm got out of control and dumped a good three feet on us before the Weather Patrol were able to shut it off and move it away. The world had a little more life in it now as we got closer to the farmhouse. Birds twittered and tweeted as they flittered from tree to tree as they settled down to roost for the night. The chickens we kept were doing the same, and were pottering around near their coop. And of course, you could hear the pigs grunting and oinking as they searched through the snow in their paddock for a last meal before bed.
Just as when we’d left that morning, the farmhouse, with its bright red paint stood out against the white of the snow that surrounded it. I could see a thin plume of grey smoke rising from the chimney, and picked up the smell of smoke and burning wood in the air.
“Whew, home at last,” I said to AJ as she walked alongside me. “I sure hope Granny’s got dinner nearly ready.”
“I’ll just be glad to get all this stuff off and warm up in front of the fire,” Applejack replied. “I just hope that...”
AJ’s words were cut off as I heard a dull thud close at hoof, followed by an angry cry from my marefriend. Turning around in surprise, I found AJ had had her hat knocked off, and a sizeable chunk of snow had now settled on the back of her neck. There were no trees above us, so there was only one other explanation.
“Apple Bloom!” Applejack called out in irritation as she searched for her little sister. I heard chuckling on the wind and a moment later spotted the little filly behind a snowdrift.
She’s still just a young filly, but was growing up fast. I quickly caught sight of the adorable pink bow in her mane, which was almost the size of her head. That led down to a light red mane and a yellow coat. As Applejack’s little sister, the two have a natural sibling relationship, although Applejack at times does act more like a mother to the little filly.
“Got ya, sis!” she called out from her cover.
After a long hard day of working on the farm, going from end to end, painstakingly checking each tree for damage or disease, you’d imagine that Applejack would be worn out, and it would be hard to blame her if she was cross with her little sister. But instead, Applejack leapt into the game with her younger sibling, quickly grabbing up a snowball and playfully hurling it back at her. The snowball sailed cleanly through the air, and the unprepared Apple Bloom caught it right on her pretty pink bow.
“Got ya back, Bloom!” AJ called back.
And as with all wars, with that first shot, things escalated. I of course, found myself in the proverbial no man’s land between the two warring sides. Not that any attempt at neutrality protected me from the snowy barrage, from both sides. In short order, I found myself pelted with snowballs and again regretted not bringing a warm jacket.
Before too long, the three of us had descended into a melee, with each of us throwing snow left, right and centre as we each ducked and dived to avoid the others. I managed to more or less ally myself with Applejack against the smaller filly. Despite the cold, and the long day, I found myself laughing and enjoying the simple pleasure of a snowball fight. It’s like old Mark Twain said; growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. Eventually, we all came to a three way truce. The war had been short, but brutal, and all of us were now covered in snow. I was starting to feel a bit of a chill and my stomach was rumbling for food.
“Come on you two,” I said with a laugh and a smile. “Let’s head on in before it gets too cold.”
“Aww, c’mon, Bones,” Apple Bloom protested. “Can’t we stay out just a mite longer?”
“The snow will still be here tomorrow, AB,” I reassured her. “Besides, we keep this up all three of us are gonna catch a chill. Now come on. Granny’s gonna have supper on the table, and she’ll have my hide if y’all come in soaked and shiverin’.”
My words seemed to prompt Apple Bloom to remember that, with all the snow, she was now wet through and she began to shiver a little as the cold snow clung to her. It was more than enough motivation for her to head inside. Applejack followed behind us, trotting up alongside me as we made for the house.
“I had a real nice time today, Bones,” she said, taking a moment to shake the snow off of her hat. “Thanks for helpin’ out.”
“Ain’t no trouble, AJ,” I replied with a wave of a hoof.
As before, I extended out the crook of my foreleg for her. Applejack would never admit it, but she does admire little romantic gestures from time to time. With her on my arm...or...well, foreleg, we headed inside, enjoying the blast of warm air that hit us as we stepped inside.
It was indeed much warmer inside the farmhouse. Despite its humble appearance, wooden walls, and apparent lack of insulation, the place did a great job at retaining heat. In fact, it was more in the summer where it was a problem, because the house could get really warm at the height of summer, even with all the windows open. The kitchen was brightly lit as we walked in from the cold, pausing for a moment to knock the remaining snow from our hooves on the mat.
The first thing I noticed on walking in was the smell of dinner. Stood before the stove, stirring away at a large stew pot was Granny Smith, Applejack’s paternal grandmother and the last word on Sweet Apple Acres. She was getting on in years now, certainly almost eighty, if not a little older. But she continued to run the farm, albeit slowly turning over duties to her two older grandchildren. Despite her frail appearance though, she was still sharp as a tack when she wanted to be and was far from a frail old pensioner. Like her youngest granddaughter, she had amber coloured eyes. Her mane had always been a fairly white colour, and had faded little over the years, although these days she kept it done up in a bun. Her coat was a soft lime green and she wore a small orange and red polka-dot neckerchief around her neck. Her cutie mark, as with the other members of her family, was apple based, being an apple pie.
Officially, she’d been the one to give me the room and board I now enjoyed, and over the years I’d come to respect the older mare a great deal. A lot of ponies wrote her off as being a little kooky, but like I said, there was still plenty of grey matter up there. If you ask me, I think she enjoys playing dumb from time to time. But if you cross her, you’ll find out she is almost as smart as Celestia herself.
“Evenin’, Granny,” I called out as we all came in.
Everypony calls her Granny, regardless of whether they’re family or not. I can’t help but think how strange it must have been for her growing up. But that’s apple based names for you. When I first got here I used to call her Mrs. Smith, but the kindly old mare soon put a stop to that. She’s become just as much my dear old gran as Applejack’s.
“Oh, there you three are,” she said as she turned her attention away from the stove and dropped back down onto all four hooves. “We was just startin’ to wonder where you young’uns were comin’ back. I was ‘bout to send Big Macintosh here out to look for ya.”
She gestured to the final member of the Apple family that lived on Sweet Apple Acres; Applejack’s older brother; Big Mac. The name certainly fitted. I had an inch or two on Applejack, but Big Mac had plenty more than that on me, standing noticeably taller than most of the other stallions in Ponyville. He was famous for his impressive strength and size. At the same time though, he was a gentle giant, and despite his imposing size, wouldn’t hurt a fly. Despite that though, and the fact that he doesn’t talk all that much, when he does speak, ponies tend to listen.
At the moment, he was sitting down at the dinner table, somewhat like a dog would. His red coat had a few oil streaks on it here and there, as did the large yoke that he was wearing around his neck. His straw red mane also had a few spots. His cutie mark however, a large green apple, had escaped the slick.
“Sorry we nearly had you out in the snow, Mac,” I said apologetically. “We all got caught up in a bit of a snowball fight. Ya have any luck fixin’ up the cider press?”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied in that deep, somewhat baritone voice of his.
That was one of his two normal responses. The other being ‘Nope’. I’m still trying to convince him to add ‘that would be an ecumenical matter’ to his repertoire. Still, if you can get him talking, he can be quite eloquent and insightful. I can only presume it’s that quality that has caused half in mares in town to occasionally casually ogle him when he runs the market stall.
“Well that’s some good news,” Applejack said as she dusted the remaining snow off of her hat. “That darn thing’s been actin’ up ever since that year we saw off those Flim Flam brothers. I might go take a look at it myself in a minute.”
Granny however, was having none of that.
“Ah phooey, ya young whipper snapper,” she admonished her granddaughter. “Y’all have been in and out of them orchards all day. It’s high time ya stopped to get a good warm meal.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed, now with much more enthusiasm.
The table was set for five places, with Granny at one end and the rest of us on either side. I took my seat next to Applejack, while Apple Bloom went to join her older brother. Given how cold the weather had been these past couple of days, Granny Smith had kept us on a steady diet of piping hot stews, soups, and other filling winter staples. Tonight it was vegetable soup on the menu, with crusty bread rolls. I must confess, a part of me still misses my old grandmother’s corn beef stew. Despite being little more than potatoes, carrots, British Army bully beef, and Bisto gravy, it was filling and warmed you right up in the cold midwinter. However, my new equine body found the idea of meat quite unpalatable, despite my best efforts.
We all tucked into the dinner, chatting and catching up on what we’d all been up to today. Applejack filled Granny in on the rabbit problem we were having.
“So we figured it’d be a good idea to maybe get Fluttershy to help out,” she was saying. “After all, she really helped out with those vampire fruit bats. I reckon with her help, we can fix things in everypony’s favour, includin’ those rabbits.”
“Well, sure makes sense,” Granny Smith agreed. “Just so long as we don’t end up with another stampede of bunny rabbits.”
Granny was referring to an incident many moons ago, not long after we arrived here. Fluttershy had been doing her annual bunny census, with whole warrens gathered together, when Winona, the Apple family’s beloved border collie, had joined in on the fun. Alarming the rabbits, the dog had set them on an adorable stampede that sent them all through Sweet Apple Acres, at the height of Applebuck Season. The resulting vibrations may have meant that harvesting the trees was a lot easier, since all the fruit was shaken loose, but it also meant a sizeable amount rotted away on the ground before we could get to it.
“I’m sure nothin’ like that’s gonna happen, Granny,” I said reassuringly. “They’ve only nibbled at a dozen or so trees over the last couple weeks, so we’re probably only lookin’ at a small warren. Fluttershy ought to be able to convince them to either head some place else or go nibble on some other vittles besides our trees.” Granny nodded in agreement before turning to her younger granddaughter.
“And how ‘bout you, Apple Bloom? What have y’all been doin’ today?”
School was still out for the little filly, and while she helped out on the farm as much as she could, she was still just a young filly at the moment. However, along with her two friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, she has quite the venture of her own going on.
You see, everypony in Equestria has a cutie mark; a symbol on their hindquarters that signifies their special talent. A little before adolescence, ponies discover what this talent is, prompting the mark to appear. However, many foals find themselves in a seemingly fruitless search for some time, and this included Apple Bloom and her friends. So they formed their own little club; the Cutie Mark Crusaders. After the three of them discovered their own cutie marks a year or so ago, they started up a sort of consulting agency to help young and old alike discover and understand their cutie marks. The business had taken off like a rocket. The trio now used their clubhouse as a sort of office, but also visited ponies in town as well. This is what Apple Bloom had been up to.
“Me and the Crusaders have been helpin’ Skedaddle all week tryin’ to earn his cutie mark. Turns out his parents really picked a fittin’ name. We helped him get his cutie mark in runnin’.” Applejack started for a moment as she seemed to remember something.
“This better not have anythin’ to do with all that hubbub I heard about a cragadile nosing around near that camp of yours would it?” Applejack asked with no small amount of suspicion.
“What?! No! Of course not!” Apple Bloom denied. Applejack’s famous ability to spot a fib soon won out though as the filly sweated under her gaze.
“Okay, fine!” she admitted. “But it weren’t a real one. Just Rumble and Featherweight in a costume. It was the only way to get him to show how fast he really was.”
Applejack’s raised eyebrow said all that needed to be said on that one. Those three fillies certainly do have a knack for causing mischief. They could probably give Discord a run for his money on the chaos front. Still, while they can cause trouble, they also usually manage to sort things out in the end. In fact, to my knowledge, the only pony they weren’t able to help was that psychotic Cozy Glow. And as much as I hate to say it, I think she was beyond help by the time their paths crossed.
Dinner then continued, with a good helping of seconds, followed by dessert. It was now dark outside and the moon had risen high into the sky as Princess Celestia stepped down for the night and Princess Luna took the throne up in Canterlot. We all now had some free time to relax and chat together before bed. One downside of farm life is the early nights and early rising the following morning. In the high summer, we were going to bed almost as soon as the sun set.
Not that that was a problem for Granny Smith. Once dinner was done with and we’d finished with the washing up, she announced her intention to go to bed. As a mare getting on in years, she’s typically the first one to bed down for the night, despite her naps in the day. She wasn’t the only one though. Apple Bloom typically goes to bed fairly early too, although this is something enforced by her elders rather than by choice. I’m sure if left to her own devices, the little filly would stay up as long as she could. And as someone who’s done that back in college and seen those creepy shadow people in the corners of my vision, that was not something I was going to let happen, nor was AJ.
“C’mon, Apple Bloom,” she said in a somewhat authoritative tone. “It’s late, and high time little fillies went to bed.”
“But, Applejack!” Apple Bloom whined. “I’m not even tired. Can’t I stay up a little longer?”
Now, one of the odder things that I’ve noticed since moving in here, is the somewhat paternal shine I’ve taken to little Apple Bloom. If I’m honest, I’ve never been good with kids. I’m not exactly what you’d call a fun guy, being a bit of a bookworm like Twilight, and I just don’t connect with them, nor they with me. But with Apple Bloom...I don’t know, something just clicked between us. I found myself caring about her, to the point of flying into a paternal rage and picking Diamond Tiara up off the ground and dangling her upside down in my magic when I caught her bullying AB. And at the same time, she’d come to me for help and advice, just as she would to either of her siblings.
Of course, I knew I could never replace the redoubtable Bright Mac, nor did I wish to step on Big Mac’s nonexistent toes. But at the same time, I did nothing to discourage the filly’s affections. And in time, she became something close to a surrogate daughter to me. Hence why I now got to play the negotiator in the endless war over bedtimes.
“How about I take you upstairs and read you a story before bed, AB?” I offered.
Applejack smiled slightly as I said that. I believe Rarity once labelled the behaviour as ‘husband material’. It certainly seemed to work for Apple Bloom. So the two of us headed upstairs.
I followed Apple Bloom upstairs. There are a total of five bedrooms in the house. Granny Smith’s and Applejack’s on one side, along with the bathroom, and mine, Apple Bloom’s and Big Mac’s on the other, the latter having previously been his parents bedroom (Mac and AJ used to share the same room when they were younger). I followed the usual routines and first half led, half herded the entirely not tired Apple Bloom, who most certainly wasn’t yawning at all, to her bedroom door. Opening it, I used my magic to turn on the lights. Her room was about the same size as mine, although I must confess, much tidier. I headed over to the small bookcases that held around a dozen or so story books, while Apple Bloom climbed into her bed.
“So, what story do you want tonight, AB?” I asked as I looked through the available volumes.
There was a good mix of Equestrian books and a few from back on Earth that had found their way through the same portal that had brought us here. It had reopened briefly before being sealed up properly around the start of the new year after we arrived. All sorts of random stuff had come through; books, clothes, films, pretty much everything except electronics, which seemed to react badly to crossing the event horizon. Apple Bloom though had a special request.
“Can you tell me one of those Bible stories?” she asked.
Now, to be clear. I’m in no way a religious man, and certainly no God fearing cretin. I might have told Twilight about religions on Earth from an academic standpoint, but I in no way endorsed any of them, never mind try and propagate them here. I was eight when I came to the conclusion that the God of Classical Theism either didn’t exist or was a being of pure evil, mainly after asking several unpalatable questions of the local minister. However, while I did not believe in any of it, and while I might have always disapproved of organised religion and viewed it as a negative force, I never took a dislike to the actual message of most religions. Christianity preached a doctrine of peace and love, one of Islam’s core principles was universal charity, and Buddhism sought to understand the great mysteries of the universe just as much as any rational person did.
In particular, I always had a fondness for old bible stories, which my mother had told me as a child. God aside, they preached lessons of virtue and reward, care for one’s fellow man, and that good could come surprisingly unexpected places, and would always triumph over evil.
So, when Apple Bloom had asked me one night to tell her a human bedtime story, I had started telling her those same stories. I never pushed doctrine or faith on her, I merely let the stories stand on their own merit. She could take from them what she would.
“Alright then,” I said, taking a seat and perching myself on the edge of the bed. “Let’s see...”
I thought for a moment about which stories I could tell her. I’d told her a few, from both testaments. I’d told her about Moses and the exodus from Egypt, about David and his battle with Goliath, Jonah and the Whale (even though the book never actually calls it a whale, just a ‘great fish’), and Joseph and his coat of many colours. Well, there was the old standby.
“Once a man was travelling on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho,” I began. “That’s two big towns in that part of the world. Suddenly, he was attacked by robbers. They ripped his clothes, beat him, stole his money, and left him for dead. A little while later, a priest came by, and saw the man lying on the side of the road. He didn’t check to see if he was still alive, because he believed it was wrong to touch a dead body. So he walked by on the other side. A little after that, another man came by. He too saw the man hurt and bleeding, but he too simply passed by on the other side. But finally, a man from Samaria happened by. Now, Samaritans and Jews hated each other, so what do you think the Samaritan did?”
“He left that poor pony too,” Apple Bloom said, listening attentively to the story. I smiled and shook my head.
“Actually, no,” I replied. “He saw this stranger lying in the road, dying, and he took pity on him. He got off his donkey, bandaged the man’s wounds, put oil on them, and then put him on his own animal and took him to the next town. When he got there, he took the injured man to an inn, and told the innkeeper that whatever it took to care for him, he would pay on his return, and he did.
“So you see Apple Bloom,” I went on. “Good can come from all sorts of places, even those we least expect. A good pony doesn’t care about who somepony is. If they see someone in trouble, they just help. They don’t expect anything in return; they help because it’s the right thing to do. And I’m proud to say that I’ve seen you do that on more than one occasion with your friends.”
Apple Bloom smiled at that, and I smiled back.
With that, I tucked her in, checked under the bed for monsters, wished her a good night, and turned off the light, closing the door behind me. Tiptoeing, as much as you can with hooves, past Granny Smith’s door, from which I could already hear snoring, I made my way back downstairs.
I found Applejack and Big Mac sitting together. Mac had gone back into the kitchen and heated up a saucepan of milk and made us all a cup of hot chocolate. It was the perfect drink for a chilly winter night, apart from Bovril perhaps, but that doesn’t seem to have made its way to Equestria yet, and I’ve no idea how to make the stuff. I gladly picked up my own steaming mug in my magic and took a sip. The chocolatey drink warmed me up a bit, and the warm milk would help me get to sleep. The milk came from the cows that lived on the farm. Cows, along with sheep, sit in an odd middle ground in Equestria. They are sapient and capable of speech, but at the same time are still considered as something close to livestock, albeit ones that choose their own living conditions.
Let me explain; the cows live on Sweet Apple Acres, but they choose where to go to graze, when they want to be milked, and aren’t slaughtered for meat. They talk, and I’m friendly with most of them. But at the same time, they aren’t like ponies. Now, I’ll admit, on paper, that sounds like slavery. The thing is though...well, it’s a bit hard to explain. We have this line in the sand as human between human and animal. It’s the same for ponies. Cows and sheep are capable of speech, but they can’t look after themselves. Without ponies looking after them, particularly in the winter when they lived in the barns most of the time, they wouldn’t last long. I’ll admit, it is something of a moral grey area for me. But at the same time, none of them ever complain about their lives and are given everything they ask for.
Now, I could probably fill a book on the moral, ethical and philosophical quandaries all that entails, but that’s not why we’re here, so I’ll get right to my point. The milk Mac had used was milk the cows gave just before they bedded down for the night. It had various natural chemicals and hormones in it designed to help a woken up calf fall back asleep. So it made a great thing to have just before you went to bed. I certainly began to feel the effects as I took a few more sips.
“How’s Apple Bloom, Bones?” Applejack asked as I sat down in one of the chairs.
“Fine,” I replied. “Told her a story, checked under her bed for monsters, and she was out like a light. Granny too by the sounds of things.” Big Mac now stirred, having finished his own drink.
“I guess I may as well start lockin’ everythin’ up then,” he said in that low rumble of his.
The farm was pretty quiet once again now. The cows, pigs, sheep, and chickens had all been locked up for the night. The doors on the farmhouse would now be locked too. Not that you ever really needed to lock your doors in Ponyville. If anything it was more to stop snooping wild animals, such as the timber wolves that occasionally ventured out from the Everfree, than it was to stop ponies. Applejack got up too as Mac departed.
“I’m gonna hit that hay too,” she said. “You comn’, Bones?” I nodded in silent agreement. The two of us headed back the way I’d come.
Now, AJ and I have been in a relationship for quite some time, to the point that Granny Smith is wondering when I might pop the question to Applejack. However, the two of us typically sleep in our own rooms rather than together. This is partly old fashion values, as well as Big Mac having a bit of a time accepting that his little sister is growing up. But from time to time we do. While I may be asexual, that doesn’t mean I don’t need intimacy as much as the next pony. The same can be said of Applejack. She might not always be the most romantic pony out there, but she enjoys spending time with me, and that includes cuddling up to me at night. We typically don’t do too much besides that at the moment, unless we have the house to ourselves. I may be asexual, but Applejack isn’t, and I don’t mind being a good coltfriend to her from time to time. If nothing else though, an intimate moment with the pony version of Jessica Jones does tend to take it out of you, so we tend to be a little less active than most couples.
Still, tonight seemed to be a night AJ wanted to spend with me, as she stuck by my side as we came to the upstairs hallway. I turned back to her with a silent question.
“I’ll go back to my own room tomorrow morning before everypony else wakes up. What Big Macintosh doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
To be honest, I’ve been weighing up the idea of having a man to man talk with Big Mac. I’m a big brother myself, so I know that instinct. But we’d been dating for a couple years now. I’d shown I was a safe pair of hooves. We should be able to spend a night together without subterfuge or having to deal with a knowing look from either him or Granny. Still, that was a problem for future me. For now, I just opened my own door and led AJ inside.
I live pretty simply, just as the Apples do. My room consisted of my large bed, and desk, which was presently covered in papers relating to my latest little project, along with a couple bookshelves filled with a mixture of texts on magic, farming, as well as some good stories and history books. Mounted on one wall was a sabre from the days of the ancient Lunar Guard; a gift from Princess Luna. Finally, next to my bed was a small bedside table, which had my alarm clock and whatever book I was currently working my way through.
Crossing the room to the small paned window that overlooked the farmyard, I drew the dark green curtains shut. This room was originally a spare room. Which explained the comparatively bare wooden walls, with the exception of a few photographs, mainly me and AJ. I was toying with the idea of doing some DIY later in the year, and possibly laying down some carpeting. Applejack had set me up in here when I first moved in, and it had quickly become a mixture of bedroom and study.
Throwing back the covers, the two of us climbed into bed. It was going to be a cold night, but the thick covers and each of us would do a good job at keeping the other warm. I had barely settled in when Applejack snuggled herself up against me. She can be quite the romantic herself behind closed doors, just as much as I can.
The two of us talked a little while about our day as we drifted off to sleep. All in all, it had been pretty good.
And there were still plenty more to come.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
Hello and welcome to my newest story. This will be the last one in a series I never expected to start writing, never mind turn into seven stories. I'm trying to be a little more original this time around, doing my best to skirt around episodes, since, for me, that's what made the earlier stories so fun to write and read.
With that in mind, then, let's jump forward to February, a month that took my five year old self almost a year to learn how to spell. Let me know what you think so far in the comments below, and I'll see you next week.
By February, the snow on the ground had thinned out considerably. While there was still plenty to be found, it was now more akin to a light dusting of an inch or so in most places, except when a snow storm came through, courtesy of the Weather Patrol. The weather was slowly beginning to turn milder, but it was still biting cold, and I was more than glad for the wood fire and stove we had to keep ourselves warm. We were fortunate in that we had an effectively infinite supply of fuel.
You see, every year after the harvest, we go through the trees, seeing which are producing the best crop, and which are beginning to tail off as they get older. Eventually, older trees stop giving enough fruit to make it economically viable to keep them, when another could be planted in its place. And so these trees are cut down in the tail end of autumn, in addition to any throughout the year that have shown signs of disease or have suffered a serious injury. The upshot of that, is that we have more than enough firewood to go around each year, to the point that it can make a nice tidy side business of selling the surplus. While the Apples may be famous for their namesake, they had more than just one source of income, as any good farmer should.
And it was this particular revenue stream that I was currently working on, along with Big Mac. The two of us had spent the morning chopping up firewood for sale in town. The year before, we’d cut down twenty or so trees. After felling them, we’d cut them into manageable pieces using a two hooved saw, stripped off most of the branches with hand saws and hauled them back to the barn. With that done, Mac and I had used wedges and sledge hammers to break the trees apart into bits small enough to load onto a wagon. And from there, they’d been left to dry out in the barn. Wet wood, that is to say, freshly cut timber, is difficult to burn, makes a hell of a lot of smoke, and is generally bad for the environment compared to letting it dry out over time. Dried wood burns cleaner and more efficiently. Having been left in the barn most of the winter, the few remains of these trees were now ready to be chopped into firewood, as plenty had before them earlier in the winter. Mac did the harder work, splitting the logs apart and so forth with a maul and several wedges, while I used a smaller axe to cut it all into firewood.
I actually found this one of the more enjoyable activities on the farm. The steady repetition brings a pleasant calmness to the work. It’s good exercise too, either for my magic or physically. I suppose you could say it connects us a bit back to nature. The steady rhythm of chopping mirrors the tempos of nature around us.
Swinging the axe again, I connected with the log. I was using a large tree stump as my chopping block. With a large flat surface, it was well suited to the task. And if you did happen to miss the mark, hitting the stump wouldn’t hurt too much. Mac had assembled a large pile of logs near to me. They were fairly small as it was, but they were still a bit too big to fit into a fireplace without smothering the flames. So I chopped each one in half. These would then sell nicely as kindling.
It was also pretty nice to be indoors for a change. Unsurprisingly, most farm work takes place in the outdoors. And while I’d been smart enough to grab a warm butternut coloured jacket this time in addition to my scarf, I still didn’t exactly enjoy being out in the cold. The barn, while not toasty, still got plenty of heat from the attached farmhouse. It had also helped drying out the lumber over the last couple months.
As I swung the axe down and again cut one of the logs into two neat halves, I called out to Big Mac, who was still busy working away on one of the trees with the much larger maul as well as a saw to cut away any remaining branches. These could be sold as sticks and lighter kindling.
“How we doin’, Mac?” I called out, catching his attention. The red stallion looked up from his own work. The barn was getting pretty full of neatly cut logs now, and we were running out of room to work.
“Well,” he said, pausing for a moment to wipe some sweat from his forehead. “I reckon if we keep these two and cut them into firewood for ourselves, we can sell what we’ve already done in town.”
While it was nice to sell the surplus, we did all much prefer having enough wood to keep our own fires burning through the winter, so you had to be careful how much you sold versus how much was kept. Having said that though, there was still a fair bit in reserve at the moment, and the remaining lumber we had to chop ought to give more than enough firewood to keep us going until spring. Big Mac continued.
“Ya mind takin’ the wagon into town if I help ya load up?” he asked.
As the largest and strongest pony on the farm, Mac was the natural choice for hauling the farm’s large four wheeled wagon, particularly with a heavy load. Still, I’ve come a long way since I got here, and was more than capable of pulling it if needed. I certainly doubt I could do as Mac was doing now, and make mincemeat of the remaining lumber. Plus it would be nice to go into Ponyville anyway; I had a few things I wanted to do.
“Sure, I don’t mind,” I replied, setting down the axe and letting the handle rest against the tree stump. “I’ll go get myself harnessed up and bring the wagon around. Then we can get it loaded together.”
We have several carts and wagons on the farm. Most are fairly small two wheelers designed to haul apples back to either the various storage barns that are dotted about the place, or back to the barn proper. Some of the smaller ones can even be connected up in a train-like fashion to save time. But we also have a few larger wagons too. In addition to the one that doubles as our market stall, there’s also the large four wheeler, which is pretty much the equivalent of a small truck in pony terms. It’s used for hauling large amounts of produce, such as the zap apple jam when it’s taken over to Barnyard Bargains, as well as for when the Apples have to travel anywhere, such as when they had their little adventure about Pinkie Pie possibly being an Apple. Mac and me repaired the ruined axle after that incident, and now it’s in fairly regular use.
Heading around the side of the barn, I found the wagon standing where we’d left it a couple weeks before. It’s designed for only one pony to pull it, usually this is Big Mac. But it’s perfectly possible for a less powerful pony to manage it as well. I gave the whole thing a quick check over to make sure the axles, wheels, brakes and steering were all in good order. Satisfied with that, I hooked myself into the harness.
It’s times like these that I’m grateful for my magic. Hooking yourself into a harness like this is hard enough to do to a horse with hands, I honestly have no idea how Mac manages on his own. Particularly getting the straps on around his barrel. You do that wrong and you’ll chafe where you really don’t want to chafe. Adjusting the harness to fit my smaller frame, I soon had myself all set up. After giving everything one more check, I strained forward and soon enough had the wagon moving. It was a short journey back around the farm house to the open barn door where Mac was waiting. I carefully backed the wagon up, before again unlatching myself and heading back to help with the loading. Mac briefly got up on his hind legs to undo the two clasps on the back that held the back closed.
“Okay, let’s get to work,” I said, powering up my horn.
The two of us made short work of the loading. Mac was quite able to move more than a few logs at a time by hoof, while I could do the same with my magic, floating them through the air, encased in a dark blue aura. The two of us used a fairly simple system. I jumped up into the bed, while Mac threw logs up to me, with me catching them in my magic. We packed them as tight as we could so that they didn’t shift about during the fairly short journey to Ponyville, and to get as many in one trip as possible. We’d certainly be keeping a few fires burning for the next month or so. I steadily moved further along the wagon bed until the whole thing was full of neatly cut logs and kindling. Were I still human, I’d be a bit hesitant about trying to move it all. But with four hooves to call on, I wasn’t too worried. Once I got going, it would be easy enough. The route to Ponyville was pretty much level anyway.
“There,” Mac said, as he closed the back up again and double checked the latches. “That ought to do it, Bones.” I prepared to hitch myself up again.
“Ya sure you’re gonna be okay finishin’ up on your own, Mac?” I asked. There was still a fair bit to do after all. Mac however, shook his head.
“It’s fine,” he replied. “It ain’t like I’m tryin’ to do the whole harvest by myself.”
We both chuckled at that. He still loves to tease Applejack over that, and every time it gets right under her skin. I prepared to head off.
“I’ll be as quick as I can,” I said. “But do ya mind if I stop in town a while? I was thinkin’ of goin’ to return a couple books to Twilight.”
“Sure. I’ll be fine,” he reassured me.
And so, with that, I set off.
I took it slow and steady as I pulled out of the farmyard. The snow had thinned out, but the cold temperatures meant ice was more than a possibility, and this thing didn’t exactly have ABS. So I stayed at a fairly steady walk, making sure to keep the wagon balanced between constantly having to pull to keep it moving, and having to hold myself back to stop it running away with me. Getting it going was a little bit of work, but once the wagon was moving, it wasn’t all that different from just going for a walk, apart from the two spars either side of me and the feeling of the large wagon right at my back.
Leaving the farmyard, I set off along the road to Ponyville. It would be a fair drive yet, but it would take me through the beautiful apple orchards, across the rolling countryside, and finally over to the small little town that we all called home.
Ponyville, along with Sweet Apple Acres, is nestled right in the middle of a deep, but wide valley. To the south, it opens out as you hit the Everfree, while to the north is the towering Canterhorn mountain, and the glittering spires of Canterlot, Equestria’s capital city and home of the Royal Pony Sisters. This means you get beautiful rolling hills for a backdrop, but a nice open plain to haul a wagon across. In that sense, I suppose it was a little bit like California, albeit on a much smaller scale.
Before too long, I reached the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. Passing under a little wooden arch and passing the last white fence that marked the boundary, I soon saw Ponyville ahead of me.
The town is built in a wonderfully quaint quasi German or Swiss style. Small timber framed houses with thatched roofs make up a large proportion of the buildings in town. In the centre stands the town hall, where Mayor Mare’s office is, as well as all the other local government stuff. Beyond that is Sugarcube Corner, the town bakery and home to the Cake family, as well as Pinkie Pie. Crossing over the river that runs through town and heading a little further towards the outskirts, you’ll find Carousel Boutique the first store in Rarity’s little fashion empire, now complemented by Canterlot Boutique in the capital and Rarity 4 U in Manehattan. The largest structure though is Princess Twilight’s castle, which also doubles as the town library following the destruction of Golden Oaks Library a few years ago at the hands of that imbecile Tirek. It still makes me a little sad to walk by the now empty plot of land. Finally, just outside town, but still visible within the vista, is the newest addition, the School of Friendship.
All in all, it’s quite a sight to see. Some ponies, at least some in Canterlot, write the place off as a backwater. But it’s a great little place with some great ponies living in it. Towns like this seldom exist back on Earth; places where everypony knows everypony else. Of course, you do occasionally get that wonderful small town drama. Everypony knows whose credit is good and whose wife isn’t, but nowhere, not even Equestria, is perfect. If it was, it would be rather boring.
Heading down the hill, I kept careful control of the heavy load behind me. I felt the wagon want to accelerate as gravity pushed us down the hill, and I had to dig in with my hooves a little bit to keep us under control. Luckily, it wasn’t long before the ground levelled out again.
As I reached the town’s outskirts, I mentally mapped out the route I’d need to take. I was taking the wagon to the main square, where the town market was held. In a world where supermarkets are still an up and coming thing, particularly out here in rural Equestria, markets like this one were where you bought pretty much everything in terms of produce from farms. The stall I was looking for though, belonged to Burnt Oak.
Burnt Oak is a comparatively recent addition to the town, having moved back here a few years before we arrived. He’s well known now and a respected old stallion. Many moons ago, he and Bright Mac, that’s Applejack’s late father, and the pony who originally owned that hat of hers, were close friends and got up to all sorts of hell raising together. In fact it was partly Burnt Oak’s actions that caused Bright Mac and Pear Butter to meet and fall in love. He certainly did his best to fan the flames. But while his friend found true love, he ultimately left Ponyville for some time to seek out adventure on the frontier. He roamed all over the place, from Dodge Junction, to the then fledgling Appleloosa, and even out into the Badlands. This was back when there was still quite a bit of bad blood between ponies and the buffalo tribes, and Burnt Oak distinguished himself in the several brief conflicts between the two peoples. I suppose in that sense, you could call him an Indian fighter in human terms.
But of course, in contrast to the sad ending to westward expansion back in the Americas, in Equestria, the push southward eventually gave rise to peace, as neither the ponies nor the buffalo saw any point in conflict, and ponies were far more willing to talk to their buffalo counterparts. That, and ponies didn’t have the wonderful delusion that wandering around committing genocide and calling it God’s will somehow made them great, but that’s a conversation for another day. The upshot was that the two sides came to an understanding, just as the three tribes had centuries before. They now happily co-exist, with the rights of the independent Buffalo Nations guaranteed for all of time. And again, unlike certain people, ponies understand that ‘all of time’ does not add the caveat ‘unless you find gold or oil’.
So Burnt Oak, now getting a little older, settled down. For a time, he was in law enforcement back in Dodge Junction. But after he retired, he returned to his old home town, and reconnected with the family of his late friend. He now owns a modest business buying up lumber and selling firewood. In a place like Ponyville, where the autumn and winter can be very cold, he has quite a nice little business.
I had the pleasure of meeting him some time ago. As something of a history buff, and someone keen to learn all I can about Equestrian history, I found the old stallion’s stories of life on the frontier fascinating. And in turn, he loved to spin yarns about the old days. While places like Appleloosa may still seem like they’re stuck in 1885, believe you me, the way Burnt Oak tells it, they’ve come a long way. He kind of reminds of the late Shelby Foote, one of the foremost historians on the American Civil War, with perhaps a bit of Wyatt Earp or Wild Bill thrown in there too.
For the moment though, I still had a fair way to go before I could set about getting all this lumber sold off to him. First I had to get the wagon through Ponyville and over to the marketplace. And before I got there, I found myself running into one of my favourite denizens of Ponyville.
I first became aware that I wasn’t alone when I heard the familiar sound of a pegasus in flight. For whatever reason, a gliding pegasus tends to make a whooshing sound, reminiscent of a jet engine. And in Ponyville, you learn to look up when you hear that. It was a good thing I did too, as I barely had time to duck as it was.
“Lookout!” a voice called.
My vision was briefly filled with a dark blue as a pegasus shot overhead. The pony in question luckily missed the wagon behind me and quickly gained altitude again. Climbing steeply, she banked around before landing smoothly right alongside me.
This was Lizzie, my little sister. Like me, she’s a pony, although a pegasus instead of a unicorn. And unlike me, when we first got here she was human, just like my parents. I’ve been a pony ever since we wound up in Equestria. She, in contrast, was turned into a pony by Discord.
Allegedly, this was the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony trying to do a good deed. Lizzie had been living with Fluttershy for a few months by this point, having moved in with her not long after we arrived. Given her human nature, she was somewhat limited compared to her flying friend when it came to taking care of animals. Plus, the world wasn’t exactly built to accommodate humans. She made one passing remark to Discord about wishing she could fly like Fluttershy so she could be of more help, although she wasn't too keen on being like me and ending up with four hooves. I might add that he was the one who started that conversation, so I’ve never been entirely certain whether or not his motivation was entirely altruistic. Discord all too often does things because he's curious about what will happen at best, and bored at worst.
The following morning, she woke up as she is now, including a cutie mark of her own. That always perplexed me if I'm honest. I've got one, sure, and it does reflect my skill with defensive magic, but Lizzie's was tilted toward her flying ability, which she couldn't have had as a human. Now, I know that Twilight says that nothing can force a cutie mark to appear before it should, but it still puzzles me how she got it. And while Apple Bloom and her friends have helped Lizzie somewhat, how she got that mark is still a mystery. I, in contrast, while not originally a unicorn, possessed the necessary skills to excel at magic as I now do, so I 'earned' my cutie mark in that sense.
After no small amount of confusion, and me considering the idea of seeing if Discord could survive without a frontal lobe (which he probably can knowing my luck), it was decided that she would stay like this for a week; mainly because Discord put a lockout on the spell so that not even he could undo it. Or so he claimed, again, this is Discord we're talking about. Dad was cheesed off something terrible, so was Mum, never mind Twilight, for the way Discord had just snapped his talons like that, and in my Dad's case, it put a real strain on their budding friendship, which would almost be shattered following the incident with Tirek.
But since Discord either wouldn't or couldn't change her back, she decided to at least see what it was like being a pony. So she spent a week as a pegasus, adjusting to her new body, learning to fly, and so on. At the end of that week, she had a choice to make, and ultimately decided to have Discord extend the spell to make it permanent, albeit with a way to turn back if needed. Ever since, she’s been a valued member of the Weather Patrol under Rainbow Dash. To this day though, I do wonder just what motivated Equestria’s most inscrutable former villain to do what he did. A part of me even wonders if there was something else at play, to the point that I even checked to see if Discord was using his magic to mess with her head. After all, she’d shown no interest in such things before becoming a pegasus, being quite happy to simply help Fluttershy out with her animal friends.
However, while it did then, and still does, make me more than a little distrustful of the draconequus, I can't for the life of me figure out why he would mess with her like that. And while I’ve never will be able to fully trust Discord, I don’t think he ever did have malign intentions in doing what he did. It might have been wrong, true, but he wasn't trying to hurt her. In his own peculiar, twisted way, I think he was trying to help Lizzie out. It’s just that...well, everything Discord does often comes with strings attached. That and, six months later, he stabbed us all in the back and briefly sided with a magic sucking roid monkey. Putting that last jab at the draconequus to one side, I turned to my little sister.
“Lizzie!” I said with some surprise. “What in Equestria was all that about? You okay?”
I might have tormented her in my younger years, but just like Big Mac, I try my best to look out for my little sister. And her dropping out of the sky and nearly crashing right into me had me worried.
“Sorry, Bones,” she said, briefly readjusting her wings. “I was just trying out this new trick Rainbow showed me. Didn’t work out quite right.” I rolled my eyes at the mention of Equestria’s most humble hero. That sounded like something she’d do, all right.
“You know Mom and Dad don’t like you doin’ those crazy stunts,” I replied. “You could have really hurt yourself.” Lizzie chose to ignore my valid concerns for her safety, as she so often does.
“Oh come on,” she said. “Crashing is a part of flying. I could say the same about you getting hurt working with all that farm equipment.”
“I don’t go out looking for trouble though. C’mon, Sis. Y’all are on the Weather Patrol. You’re supposed to be a professional flyer, not some crazy stunt devil. What are you doin’ this far out anyway, aside from pullin’ crazy stunts?” Lizzie gestured to a few clouds in the sky.
“Dash asked me to move a few of these rain clouds back north for a while. She’s worried with the cold they might try and turn to snow, and we’ve got enough of that at the moment.”
“Yeah, ain’t that the truth,” I agreed, becoming more aware of the cold in my hooves.
“What about you?” Lizzie went on, brushing her chestnut coloured mane back behind her ear. “What’s with the wagon?”
“Firewood,” I explained. “Mac and I have been workin’ all mornin’, so he asked me to see if I can sell this all to Burnt Oak in town. You want some for you and Fluttershy? Family discount.” Lizzie shook her head.
“No thanks, Bones,” she politely declined. “I’ve got to get back to work now. Those clouds aren’t going to clear themselves. See you round.”
With that, she took a literal flying leap, opened her wings, and took off into the sky again, quickly going up to at least a hundred feet. I just hoped that she’d be a bit more careful next time. She might be an alumnus of Wonderbolt Academy, but that didn’t make her Spitfire when it came to flying. Still, it was nice to see her again. These days, I don’t see her too much, and normally, she has that lovesick coltfriend of hers, Dewdrop, all but attached at the hip.
As she all but disappeared from my sight, I set off again on the road to Ponyville. I still had a bit of a ways to go, but it wasn’t really all that far now. By the top of the hour, I should be at Burnt Oak’s shop to offload all of this and make a nice, tidy profit.
Arriving in Ponyville, I carefully made my way through the town to the market square, passing a large statue of Princess Celestia, which stood in a large fountain in the square not too far away. As is often the case in small towns, I ran into a few ponies I knew; friends, friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends. To be honest, it sometimes gets a little tiring to keep track of all the relationships. Luckily, while I may value friendship, I have also developed the fine art of extracting myself from conversations gracefully and without causing offence. The large wagon filled with firewood certainly helped on that front.
Arriving in the market square, I found it fairly busy. All the local farmers have stalls here, including ourselves. The venerable Granny Smith was minding the store today. We each take it in turns running the stall at the market. I’m down to do it next week I believe. I waved to her as she contentedly haggled away with Time Turner, who owns the local clock repair shop. He’s also the local Time Lord, complete with a stolen time machine, but you didn’t hear that from me.
Burnt Oak’s stall was a little further down the way, although his shop took up a fair bit of real estate, with firewood piled high all around. Although I did notice that he seemed to be running a little low. Like I said, he and I have become fairly good friends since meeting each other, and his sharp eyes quickly picked me out of the modest crowd as I made my way towards him with my cargo in tow.
“Mornin’, Bones,” he called out. I waved back at him as I pulled up and unhitched myself from the wagon.
“Hey, Burnt Oak. Don’t suppose y’all are in the market for a bit more firewood?” I asked, gesturing to the wagon behind me. The old stallion laughed.
“Always,” he replied. “Especially when it comes from good quality apple trees.” He trotted over to join me.
Burnt Oak was a stallion that I’d say was in his mid fifties. His coat was a darkish brown, a few shades lighter than cocoa, while his mane and tail had long ago turned silver, as had the modest moustache he sported. Atop his head, he wore a light tan stetson, that was almost verging on khaki. It was worn and had clearly seen a lot of use, but unlike mine or Applejack’s the brim at the front hadn’t been partially cut away. In a sense, it looked more like the classic gambler hat, further reinforcing his link to the frontier. Around his neck, tied in a simple knot was a light blue neckerchief. His cutie mark meanwhile was his namesake, being a burnt branch of an oak tree. Walking around to the back of the wagon and unhooking the latch, he took a look at the neatly chopped up firewood with gleam of interest in his light blue eyes.
“Sweet Celestia, Bones!” he said in surprise. “There must be the better part of a cord here.”
“That’s about right,” I replied. “Mac and I spent the last day or so choppin’ trees into firewood. We’ve kept a fair bit for ourselves just in case the weather team decides to stretch this winter out. But we figured y’all might be interested in buyin’ up the surplus. With the way the weather’s been these past months, I reckon your services are in pretty high demand.”
“Y’all reckon right,” Burnt Oak replied with a smile. “And this little lot would help me get through the week without any trouble.” That sounded promising.
“So you’re interested?” I said. Burnt Oak nodded.
“Indeed I am,” he replied. “So how about you and me talk business?”
And so we did. With the cold weather set to continue at least until the end of the month, there was plenty of demand. And while Burnt Oak liked to make a bit as much as the next pony, as his own supply began to run low, he was starting to have to hike up his prices more than he was comfortable with. So our firewood provided a nice reprieve that let him reduce prices back down to a level where he still made a decent profit, but the stock was affordable for all customers.
With a deal worked out and a price agreed on, it was just a simple matter of settling up,which we'd do once Burnt Oak had unloaded everything. Apart from that, our business was more or less concluded.
“Alright,” I said, as I finished hooking up my saddlebags. “I think we’re just about done here. Do you want me to help you with unloadin’?” Burnt Oak shook his head.
“Nah, I’m good, Bones,” he replied. “I might not be as young as I once was, but that don’t mean I’ve lost my earth pony strength.” With that, he hopped onto the wagon and started unloading the firewood, tying it all into stacks for sale.
“Fair enough,” I said as he got to work. “I’ve got a few things to do in Ponyville as it is, so I’ll leave ya to get all this unpacked and stop by in a bit to pick up the wagon.”
And with that, I left the old stallion to it. I had a couple other things I needed to do in town right about now. Chief among which was to return a couple of books that I’d borrowed from Twilight. As both the pony who taught me pretty much everything I know about magic, and as the owner of Ponyville’s local library/castle, I often borrow texts from her for my own pet projects, although that is now partially supplemented by the library at the School of Friendship. A week ago, I’d borrowed her copy of ‘Treatise Upon the Darker Magicks’; a text written originally back in the days of Old Equestria, before the princesses came to power. My own interest in developing counter spells to various spells typically used by the bad guys made it an ideal reference book, considering it was effectively a how to book on using dark magic. As a result, it was restricted, and I could only borrow it with the alicorn’s permission. Despite its malign roots though, it had so far helped me create a viable way to counter changeling hypnosis spells, in case Chrysalis should ever come calling, as well as a way of countering magic siphoning.
Of course, this didn’t make me any use on the rare occasions Equestria and/or the entire world was in jeopardy. At the end of the day, I’m still just a unicorn, and don’t hold a candle to a lot of the major bad guys. While I might have found a way to counter the hypnosis spell that I could actually use against Chrysalis herself, my counter to the siphon spell worked only in theory. I was nowhere near powerful enough to use it to overpower Tirek at his full strength. Still, if it could give me, or somepony else a fighting chance, I’d take it. And there’s always the matter of knowledge for the sake of knowledge.
But enough about my mediocre research, back to Twilight Sparkle, the first pony I ‘met’ back when I first tuned into the show many years ago. I have to be honest, I identified with her a lot at the time, and still do even now. We’re both eggheads as Rainbow would say. We both find magic absolutely fascinating. And, when things go south, we both can have something of a mental breakdown at times. After we got here, the young alicorn took me under her wing and helped me learn about using magic in my new unicorn body. I quickly latched onto the subject and before too long went from simply learning the basics to even considering applying to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.
Since then, we’ve always done our best to keep in touch with one another, and I make a point of trying to get to see her and Spike whenever I can.
Twilight’s castle, a sort of gift, I suppose you could call it, from the ancient Tree of Harmony, dominates Ponyville’s skyline. A huge crystalline structure, very much resembling the tree that created it, it has a balcony overlooking the town and in the centre, it is emblazoned with the symbol for the Element of Magic, which is also Twilight’s cutie mark. Trotting up to the front steps, I rapped on the double doors with a hoof. Despite my, and her older brother’s objections, particularly after the whole ponynapping incident, Twilight continues to maintain something of an open door policy, given how her home also serves as the town library. Plus, given its size, it isn’t like you’re going to interrupt Twilight in the middle of something.
Heading inside, my hooves clinked ever so slightly on the crystal floor. The whole place was either clear or sapphire crystal from wall to wall and floor to ceiling. My Dad often jokes how the place must be a right bugger to heat. The main hall is where the cutie map is. This enigmatic device, surrounded by a total of seven chairs, including one for Spike, has a sort of Camelot round table vibe to it. At the moment, it was just a large round, crystal table. But when needed, it summoned up a map of Equestria and the surrounding region, including the Crystal Empire, the Griffon Kingdom, the Dragon Lands, and even the lands as far south as the Storm Territories and the Hippogriff Kingdom. Whenever a friendship problem arose, the map would activate and summon the required ponies. It would display an image of their cutie marks at the place they needed to go to solve the problem, and their marks would glow when the quest was completed.
I’ve tried, with little success, to get the map to say ‘Another settlement needs your help. I’ll mark it on your map’ when it fires up for a laugh. The problems do seem to come in a steady stream, although it has been fairly quiet of late.
Beyond that was the large hall that has been used for everything from Hearth’s Warming Eve celebrations, to birthday parties, and even the odd wedding reception. This too was empty for the moment, although straining my ears, which are far more sensitive than my human ones were, I picked up Twilight and Spike’s voice not too far away. Well, if she isn’t in her office at the School of Friendship, there’s only one place Twilight will be in her off hours, and that’s her library.
Heading down the hall, I soon found my way along the familiar route. The one thing this place seems to have inherited from the old Golden Oaks library is the trans-dimensional engineering that the old tree used to have. Like a TARDIS, it’s bigger on the inside, at least based on your view from outside, although in the case of the Golden Oaks library, it was much more obvious. Opening the door with my magic, I peered inside and spotted Twilight, surrounded by what I can only describe as a book fort. Dozens of books were stacked almost as high as Princess Celestia is tall, and in the middle of all these towers, was Twilight, busily working away.
“Hey, Twilight,” I called out, making her briefly start in surprise, and causing Spike, who was contentedly napping, to wake with a start.
Luckily, the both of them recovered quickly enough upon seeing me, none the worse for wear. Twilight set a bookmark in the book she was reading and trotted over to say hello, with Spike following at her heels.
“Hey, Blade Star,” she said in that friendly tone of hers. “What brings you here?”
Twilight is one of the few ponies that doesn’t call me Bones by default. She always was a little bit more formal than most ponies. Then again, now she’s a princess, I suppose it comes with the territory. Opening up my saddlebags, I levitated out the book I was wanting to return.
“I was in town and figured I ought to drop this off,” I explained. “And I wanted to thank you again for lettin’ me borrow it. The pony who wrote it might not have been right in the head, but it sure helped me with my own research. I just find it strange how little research has been done before now in countering dark magic.”
Twilight’s magenta aura now replaced my own and she took it from me and passed it off to Spike, who promptly went to put it back in its proper place in the restricted section. I honestly sometimes wonder to myself just how long Twilight would last without Spike, considering how much he does to keep the place running. You could say the same with Starlight. Without Spike, I’m fairly certain those two mares would be living off cold baked beans within a week.
“I guess a lot of ponies just find the idea of studying, and getting that close to dark magic, unsettling.”
“Sort of a ‘stare too long into the abyss, and the abyss stares back into you’ eh?” I offered. She nodded.
“Exactly. Still, from what I’ve heard, you’ve made a few interesting discoveries these past few months while you’ve been helping out at the school. I was actually working on the revised syllabus for the new year when you came in.”
“You’re making changes?” I asked curiously. Twilight’s school had set the gold standard as far as most ponies were concerned, and that included the EEA under the now much more accepting Chancellor Neighsay.
“Not to the lesson plans,” she explained. “I’m trying to improve some of the student counselling services. I want to try and help stop another...well...you know.” I let out a soft sigh.
“You’re talking about Cozy Glow, right?” I asked. Twilight nodded as she continued to look over the notes she had floating around her.
“Twilight, you can’t go beating yourself up like this,” Spike said as he came back. “You did nothing wrong, and gave Cozy plenty of chances. She chose her path and she’s paying for it.”
I’ll be honest, none of us saw Cozy for what she was, me included. I thought she was a bit saccharine, and showed signs of mental instability. But I never thought for a moment she was capable of what she did. Twilight however, as both headmare and Princess of Friendship, still largely blames herself for Cozy’s fall, even though, in hindsight, that fall was complete before she even set foot in the school. Still, at least the rational part of Twilight could see that.
“I know you’re right, Spike,” she said, shaking her head. “I still just wish I could have done something to help her.” I shrugged my shoulders, unsure of what to say. But I wanted to help my friend.
“You are many things, Twilight Sparkle. But you aren’t God. There’s some ponies that are just beyond reformation. Look at Tirek or Chrysalis. They’re rare enough, but they do exist. And Cozy is one of them. She saw, and understood, what friendship was. But she chose to twist it for her own gain. Her fate is entirely down to her; nopony else.”
Twilight fell silent for a moment, reflecting on what I’d said. I meant it too. As much as it saddens me, not every bad guy can be Discord or Starlight. They can’t all be brought around. Some are just so messed up in the head, so devoid of morals, or so entrenched in their positions, so gripped by hate and anger, that there is simply no way back.
Then again, you could have once said the same thing about a certain princess who I greatly admire. Still, my simple visit to drop off a book seemed to have devolved into a conversation about ethics and morality. I tried to ease things towards safer, or at least happier, topics.
Or at least, that’s what I would have done, had we not been joined by some decidedly unwelcome company. Like I said before, Twilight keeps something of an open door policy in her castle, filling in that image of the people’s princess. This visitor however, didn’t particularly feel the need to use such pedestrian antiquities such as doors, he much preferred just teleporting wherever he damn well pleased.
The sudden pop and flash and the teleport caught Twilight, Spike and I by surprise, particularly as it happened in one of the nearby chairs. The upside though was that there was only one being who had the magical ability to pull off such a feat.
“Discord!” Twilight cried out in surprise. “What did I say about just teleporting into my home without asking? And get out of my chair” She sounded a bit like Celestia, or an irritated mother who’s chastising her child for the hundredth time.
Discord however, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, paid her no mind. Reformed or not, morality and him remain distant cousins at best. Although in my experience, there’s very rarely any malice in his actions, he just doesn’t always...what’s the word...think. That’s the only explanation I can come up with for his various antics past, present and future. He didn’t intrude into Twilight’s home to cause trouble, he was probably just bored or something. And believe it or not, with Discord, that qualifies as progress.
“Oh really, Twilight,” he said in a tone of false hurt. “Are my little visits to my local library really that disruptive?” Twilight scowled. Just like with her former mentor, Discord knows how to get under her skin.
“They are when you bring all my books to life and turn them into mutant birds,” she replied crossly. Discord chuckled.
“Oh yes, that was fun wasn’t it?”
Before the bristling Twilight could reply, or simply blast him in the head with her magic, Spike stepped in. I have a more or less okay relationship with the draconequus, since he’s close friends with my dad, to the point that I’d argue he’s one of only a small handful of ponies that he considers a friend, apart from Fluttershy. He tends to be a bit less...Discord...to me, to avoid ticking off the old man. And when he’s not causing trouble, Equestria’s answer to Q can be quite the interesting character to talk to, if you’ll excuse the pun. But with Spike, as a fellow O&O player, the two have something of a closer bond.
“I’m not sure Fluttershy would see it that way, Discord,” he said sternly.
Fluttershy is the only surefire way I’ve found of getting Discord to listen to me. He values his friendship with her, and will do all sorts to protect that friendship. And as the pony who helped him reform, he uses her as a sort of guide to friendship. Remember, he doesn’t do most of what he does out of spite or malice, it’s more a case of him having powers not too far short of a god, and not having any sense of morality, or any sense at all, until a few years ago. Conversely, he’ll also rip you limb from limb and turn you inside out if you even consider the idea of doing harm to her. Still, she seems to have helped him turn a corner, particularly after the incident with Tirek. As mad as it might sound, I do more or less trust him these days. But back to my original point, Spike’s comment certainly seemed to rein him in a bit.
“Oh, well, yes, I suppose so,” he agreed somewhat reluctantly. “But I’m not here to do that anyway.”
Well, that was a good sign.
“So why are you here, Discord?” I asked, catching his attention.
“Well, funnily enough, Bones,” he replied. “I was actually hoping to check out that book you have there.” He gestured to the book I’d returned to Twilight.
The alicorn too seemed a little surprised. Whatever else you might say about Discord, he’s a genius and knows more about magic than pretty much anypony, even the likes of Celestia or Starswirl the Bearded. It seemed odd that he’d need a reference book. Then again, I suppose we all need to brush up on our knowledge from time to time. Still, Twilight was curious.
“What do you need it for?” she asked. A fair question, since it came from the restricted section, and wasn’t available to the general public.
“Well,” Discord said, hopping down from the table at last. “I believe it touches upon a bit of early Equestrian history, as well as magic. Isn’t that right, Bones?”
“True,” I replied with a nod.
That was actually part of the reason I’d checked the book out. In addition to looking to develop counters for certain dodgy spells, I was also trying to find information on the various possible threats that might come back to haunt us in the future. Celestia knows that she left her fair share of bad guys only temporarily dealt with. And after Tirek got loose, and after encountering the Smooze, I wanted to do as much research as I could on other possible villains from other versions of My Little Pony. I’d read up on villains like Arabus, Somnambula (who ironically is a hero in this world), Grogar, and a few others. Most either didn’t exist at all, or were simply children’s fairy tales. Only a small number, Like Tirek and Scorpan, existed in more than one world. And others, like Chrysalis, the Storm King, and Sombra, only existed here. Still, it was interesting that Discord would take an interest in such things.
“Well,” he went on. “I figured that if I am to be an asset to Equestria as Celestia wants me to be, then it might help if I brushed up on the rogues gallery and their various tricks.”
It was a fair reason, except for one thing. Unless they caught him off guard, Discord’s abilities would make mincemeat out of any of them. If Discord had really pitched in during any of the previous major episodes, the changeling invasion, Sombra’s attack on the Crystal Empire, the brief Storm attack on Canterlot, or didn’t betray us when Tirek first got loose, the episodes in question would have been over in seconds. For goodness sake, he moved the sun and moon on a whim, and completely altered the very fabric of Equestria as a joke. The only time I’ve ever seen anything stump him was that BS anti-magic throne of Chrysalis’, and I’ve been tinkering with a chunk of it for months since trying to find a way around it.
This is the problem with the reformed Discord. Yes, he’s now sort of on the side of good, more or less. But that doesn’t mean he always clues you in on what he’s up to. Nor do his plans always turn out for the best. In fact, as I would later discover, his current plan almost brought about the downfall of the realm, and it was only by virtue of providence and the fact that good always triumphs over evil, that we got away with it. Still, ignorant of what he was planning at the moment, Twilight tried to prise a little more information out of him.
“Why now?” she asked. “Usually you tend to stay out of things like that, or cause them.”
Discord winced a bit at that. While he very rarely admits it, I know that he still regrets what happened with Tirek. Still, a moment later, the omnipotent jester returned.
“Exactly!” he replied, pointing with a claw for emphasis. “And it’s high time I changed that. So, if you’ll excuse me.” He snapped his talons, causing the book to appear in his lion paw a second later. “I have some studying to do. Be seeing you both. See you on Guys’ Night, Spike.”
And with that, he vanished in the same manner as he had come. As ever, leaving us with more questions than answers.
“Remind me why you released him from his stone prison again?” I said jokingly.
Whatever else I might say about Discord, Equestria would be a far more boring place without him. Still, if we could get him to pitch in from time to time, and have him help out…... Well, he may well be able to solve the next big event in a few short seconds. I mean, can you imagine the Storm King’s attack on Canterlot if Discord turned up? Those airships would have turned into marshmallow, their shields and spears to umbrellas and pool noodles, and as for that no good, honourless turncoat bitch he brought with him…
Sorry, I’m rambling, or monologuing. Twilight quickly brought me back to terra firma.
“Because Celestia told me I had to,” she replied with just as much mirth. “Still though, it’s good he’s taking an interest in helping out. Anyway, did you want to check out anything else while you’re here?”
I shook my head. I was going to have to put the brakes on my own research for now.
“No thanks, Twilight,” I said. “It ain’t long now until Winter Wrap Up, so I’ll be gettin’ ready for that. The farm’s gonna get real busy before long. Plus the school’s startin’ again soon. I take it y’all still want me to pitch in and cover lessons from time to time?”
“Absolutely,” Twilight replied. “It really helps having somepony to cover classes when any of us get called away on a friendship mission. Starlight already has enough to do with her responsibilities as school counsellor.”
I resisted the urge to shake my head in amazement at that. What exactly possessed Twilight to appoint Starlight Glimmer; you know, the pony who had her own little private cult going out in the boonies, as school counsellor, I’ll never know. She’s many things, but she’s not exactly Mariana Sirtis in a catsuit. I honestly thought at first that she might even, albeit unintentionally, be to blame for the whole mess with Cozy Glow. Still, she hasn’t caused any major problems, and she did create that most useful spell to banish Discord from a location for a day. Sadly, I’m nowhere near powerful enough to use it.
Twilight seemed to sense my internal objections to her choice of counsellor and, for what must be the hundredth time, did her best to reassure me.
“Trust me,” she said. “I know Starlight has her faults. But surely the best pony to help others is one who has learnt from her own mistakes. And her results speak for themselves.”
That was true. Plenty of students had nothing but glowing recommendations for Starlight and her counselling. And after a careful check for mind control spells (remember, she has form on that), I was inclined to take them at face value. Until one of the students went ballistic and cooked up some harebrained scheme to steal magic and take over Equestria, I wouldn’t complain.
Wait.
“No, you’re right,” I agreed with Twilight. “She is good with those kids. Anyway, I’d best be off. I’ll see you back at the school. Bye, Spike.”
With that, I picked up my saddlebags again and headed back out. I only had a couple more things to do today.
Heading back outside, I felt the cold air hit me with a start. The castle actually had been quite warm inside, despite the crystal walls and floors. You were certainly conscious, walking back outside that the temperature was still pretty low. Not as bad as it was back in January, but still too cold. That would be changing soon though. As I said to Twilight, on the farm, we were already preparing for Winter Wrap Up. Given how ponies manage the weather in Equestria, the seasons have to be changed manually. On the last day of winter, the final major preparations are completed and Spring begins the following day.
There was still another week or so before that. For the moment, I had a couple other matters to attend to. I hadn’t been with Twilight all that long, so I figured Burnt Oak was probably still unloading the wagon. With some time to kill, I figured it might not be a bad idea to drop in on my parents.
They both live in Ponyville, in a home specially built for them, designed for human habitation, and paid for by a mare who knows the annoyances that come with being significantly taller than the average pony. After it became clear that we would be stuck here for a while, Princess Celestia had made arrangements to have a vacant property here in town modified for their use. They’ve been living there together ever since.
My dad, Roger, as I said before, works for Celestia as a legal advisor in her Day Court, while my mom, Margaret, works alongside Cheerilee at Ponyville Elementary. They’re both in their early sixties now, but still very active. As I moved out to live on Sweet Apple Acres, and Lizzie did the same with Fluttershy, the two have had the place to themselves. And while I’m sure they appreciate having some time to themselves at last, I know they do miss having their kids about, even if we are both grown up and ponies now. So, whenever I have the time, I try to stop by to at least say hello. As much as it pains me to say it, I know that they won’t be around forever, and I’m dreading the day I lose one of them, just as much I do the day we lose Granny Smith.
Their house isn’t too far from the castle, just up the road from the elementary school, and across the street from Cranky and Matilda’s house. That’s the two local donkeys that also call Ponyville home. It looks like a lot of the other house in Ponyville, with a German, Austrian, or Swiss style to it. Opening the little gate, I walked up the short garden path and, standing on the stoop, knocked on the front door. A few moments later, my mom answered.
Both my parents are in their early sixties now, although most people say she looks young for her age. She certainly hasn’t settled into the little old lady stereotype just yet. She was a little taller than me now, at five foot even, with light blonde hair, which she kept short. As she was standing with a cloth in one hand and a bottle of polish in the other, I’d evidently caught her doing some cleaning.
“Hello, Bones,” she said brightly.
Unlike me, she’s kept her original accent, and still sounds like someone hailing from the Black Country in the Midlands. Not what most people think of when they think of an ‘English’ accent, although I’d argue, given the vast number of accents and dialects, that there’s no such thing. Best description, think Peaky Blinders, but tone it down a little. Dad’s is a lot less pronounced compared to hers, being a bit more neutral, which is how I used to sound. Lizzie meanwhile, well she picked up a bit of a South Wales twang after we moved out that way when she was still quite young.
Sorry, I’m rambling again.
“Hey, Mom,” I replied. “I was just in town and thought I might stop by to see you folks.” She smiled at that.
“Oh, that’s sweet of you,” she said as she stepped to one side to let me in. “Come on in. Your Dad’s up in Canterlot until five today. Apparently there’s some big hush-hush business going on up there I’m not allowed to know about. How have you been? I’ve been spending all morning tidying up the kitchen. You wouldn’t believe how expensive that Barnyard Bargains has gotten over the winter. Why, I’ve half a mind to give Filthy a right earful.”
In case it isn’t apparent, my mother talks. A lot. I just politely nodded along, not that I ever really had much of a chance to get a word in until she finished her wittering. Eventually, she had to pause for breath and I actually got a chance to answer the half dozen questions she’d put to me.
“Well, I’ve not been too bad,” I said, taking off my hat as we headed for the kitchen. “Mac and I spent most of the early mornin’ cuttin’ up firewood, just sold a load off to Burnt Oak at the market. Should get us a nice tidy sum. Though Celestia knows I’ll be glad when this frost finally thaws when Winter Wrap Up rolls around.”
“I know what you mean,” my mom said as she put the kettle on the stove. “It’s been biting cold this past week. Roger saw Lizzie a couple days ago though. She said Rainbow Dash is planning to start thawing things out soon.” I remembered my own brief meeting with my little sister.
“Yeah, I ran into her this morning on my way into town. Silly mare was trying out some stunts RD’s been showin’ her. She nearly crashed right into me.” The kettle began to whistle.
“Oh come on, you have to let her have her fun.”
“Hey, there’s fun and there’s dangerous.” Mom smiled at me for a moment.
“You know, I don’t remember you being half as worried about your little sister when we were back on Earth,” she commented. “And from what I’ve learned from my time here, nothing bad ever happens that affects the long term. Apart from the odd monster attack or another baddie trying to take over the world for the umpteenth time, Equestria is pretty safe. I mean, how many times has Rainbow come barrelling through somepony’s window and walked away without a scratch. You want milk and sugar?”
While we’d been talking, she’d poured the tea and had just fished out the teabags with a teaspoon.
“Er, just milk please,” I replied. “That is true I guess.”
“And you could say the same thing about the little extra-curricular projects that you get up to. I don’t know much about magic, but I know dark magic is something to stay away from. Yet you keep poking and prodding at it to find ways to stop it. If I remember rightly, dark magic also has a habit of making you lose your marbles. I’d say that’s a lot more dangerous than the odd victory roll every once in a while.”
Mom now joined me at the kitchen table, setting a steaming mug of tea and a couple digestive biscuits in front of me.
“Anyway,” she went on. “How’s life on the farm been? Applejack and the others still keeping on?” I nodded.
“Yeah, sure,” I replied. “We did another walk around the farm a couple weeks back. Big Mac’s been workin’ on fixin’ up the cider press while we still have the time. Apple Bloom’s been with her friends and dealin’ with cutie mark problems, and Granny’s been keepin’ us all fed and watered. At this point though, we’re all just looking forward to the spring. Winter on the farm can get pretty quiet and can make you go a mite stir crazy. That’s kinda why I agreed to haul the wagon down here when Mac asked me to. It’s nice to get a change of scenery every now and then. These days, so much of my time is spent either on the farm or at the school. How’s the elementary school anyway?”
“Oh, about the same,” Mom said. “There’s another week until the kids go back, and we’ve got a couple new students starting this year. Plus I’m due to get inspected again to keep my credentials. I’m hoping that since that Neighsay chap turned over a new leaf, the EEA won’t be quite as critical of me not being a pony.”
When my mom had first started teaching at the school, she did run into a couple problems. While she’s been a teacher almost as long as I’ve been alive, her qualifications from Earth didn’t exactly carry over into Equestria, so she had to have a few supervised lessons with inspectors before she could teach full time. It was okay more or less, but one of the three inspectors was a right jackass and seemed to have a right bee in his bonnet about her not being a pony. Luckily, the other two were more reasonable, as was Cheerilee. Still, it showed the problems that ultimately bubbled to the surface last year in the wake of the attack by the Storm King.
The two of us stayed and chatted a little while longer, catching up. Mom had a few interesting stories to relay to me from my dad. Where he can, he likes to tell us about interesting or funny cases he hears while helping out Princess Celestia in Day Court. Eventually though, it was time for me to be off. Burnt Oak would have finished unloading the wagon by now, and there was no sense leaving it there in the market. Before I went though, my mom had a request.
“You know, it’s been ages since you and Applejack came over for dinner,” she said. “We’d love to have the two of you over some time.”
I was about to reply with a yes, when a better idea popped into my head. We’d been here a few times; both my parents got on really well with AJ. But the two had never come over to Sweet Apple Acres. It might be a little tight, but we could make room for two more at the dinner table.
“Why don’t you and Dad come over to the farm some time? I’m sure you’d love Granny Smith cookin’,” I suggested. “Plus it’ll let you spend some time with the rest of the family.”
“Alright,” Mom agreed after a moment. “I’ll see what your father says and drop by to work something out.”
“Okay then,” I said, getting up and levitating my hat back onto my head. “Thanks for the tea, Mom. See you round.”
Heading back into town, I made for the market and found Burnt Oak just finishing up. The firewood Mac and I had spent the morning chopping up was now all neatly unloaded and tied up ready for sale. Burnt Oak would probably be able to get by with this one last shipment for the remainder of the week, even if March remained cool. Remember, a lot of buildings in Equestria, particularly out here in the boonies, don’t have central heating, so winter isn’t the only time you need good quality firewood.
He was even starting to get a few sales out of it as he handed over a bundle to Derpy Hooves, the town’s mailmare. I had to restrain myself from chuckling a little as the grey pegasus took off into the air with the bundle ‘balanced’ on her back.
“I see you’re already making some bits then,” I said to Burnt Oak as I walked up.
“Well, that’s what happens when you’ve got good quality firewood to sell to ponies that need it,” he replied with a grin.
He briefly disappeared behind the small wooden stall, appearing a moment later with a small cloth bag. I could hear the bits jingling inside. The old frontiersman set my payment down on the counter.
“There we are, as agreed,” he said.
I’d lived in Ponyville, and known Burnt Oak, for long enough not to bother counting the exact amount. Ponies around these parts trusted each other, and I wasn’t about to bite my proverbial thumb at him by doing a count then and there. By the same token, he hadn’t checked the exact weight of the firewood I’d sold him. There’s an unspoken trust between ponies here, all kept in a delicate balance with the knowledge that you can trust your fellow pony.
Picking up the small bag, I stowed it under my hat for safe keeping. That pretty much concluded our business. Now it was time to head on home.
“Thanks, Burnt Oak,” I said kindly. “I’ll get the wagon out of the way for you. See you round!”
“See you, Bones!” Burnt Oak called back as I trotted around to the front of the wagon and hitched myself back up.
The trip back to Sweet Apple Acres was a lot easier, what with the wagon being significantly lighter. Although, as it was now getting into late afternoon, the temperature was starting to drop as the sun began to set. It was definitely going to freeze again tonight.
Heading back the way I’d come, I crossed the small river out of town and soon found myself crossing back onto the farm. The wind was fairly calm now, but I picked up the sound of laughter and barking on the breeze. As I came over the next rise, I caught sight of Apple Bloom playing with Winona, the Apple family’s faithful border collie. The little filly had gotten hold of a good sized stick and was playing fetch with Winona. It wouldn’t be too long before Winona would be helping us herd the sheep and cattle that were currently sheltering in the barns back out to their normal pastures, where they could safely be left to themselves.
As the wind changed, Winona stopped her excited barking and looked up as she picked me up from downwind. Apple Bloom spotted me at around the same time, and the two came running over to greet me.
“Hey, Bones,” Apple Bloom called out as Winona barked excitedly and jumped up in an effort to be friendly. “How did it go at the market? How many bits did you make?”
“Never you mind, little missy,” I replied in a slightly paternal tone. “Enough to keep Winona here out of the stewing pot for a couple days at least.”
Gently taking the stick from Winona with my magic, I gave it a good throw and sent it flying off into the wild blue yonder. The collie quickly tore off after it, leaving Apple Bloom and I to continue on our way to the farmhouse.
“You lookin’ forward to goin’ back to school in a couple weeks?” I asked her.
“I guess so,” Apple Bloom replied, clearly not meaning it. “I kinda wish the holidays would last just a little longer.”
“I know what you mean, AB,” I said with a smile. “Still, you gotta admit, it has been gettin’ kinda borin’ around here. The farm’s pretty quiet in the winter after all. And you’ll get to see all your friends again, and I know Mom and Miss Cheerilee always look forward to seein’ you.”
At that point, Winona returned, with the stick in her jaws, still raring to go. Fun fact for those who’ve never met or owned one. Collies don’t get bored or understand the concept of futility. Winona would keep playing fetch until the end of time if someone stuck around to keep throwing the stick for her.
“Oh, I am lookin’ forward to goin’ back, Bones,” she reassured me, brightening up a little. “Still, it means we’ve got less time to spend helpin’ other ponies with their cutie marks.”
I had to resist the urge to let out an audible d’aww at that. AB could be really selfless at times. She’d certainly taken her special talent to heart, as had her fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders.
“There’ll be plenty of time for that,” I said to her. “And school is just as important.”
A little while later, we got back to the farmhouse. After parking up the wagon, I stepped into the kitchen to make myself a late lunch. Apple Bloom wasn’t the only one coming to the end of the holidays. Before too long, Sweet Apple Acres would be getting very busy.
Winter Wrap Up was upon us.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
Welcome to February. I'm going to try and keep this slice of life tone pretty much throughout the story. Despite living out in the middle of nowhere myself, I still like the idea of small town life. Special thanks to Sweetolebob18, who knows more about the logistics of firewood than you might think.
Next week, we cross into March for one of Equestria's biggest annual events.
And I know that song is in your head now.
Today was the day. Today, we said goodbye to snow, to the frost, the cold wind and everything else that winter entailed. Today was Winter Wrap Up, and tomorrow would be the first day of spring. I found myself getting up even earlier than usual. It would be busy as all hell today. I mean, we have to completely alter the season in a scant twenty four hours. Even with the help of Twilight “Checklist” Sparkle as the much vaunted All-Team Organiser, it was still quite an undertaking.
Fortunately, having lived and worked on this farm for a few years now, I’ve learnt to overcome that little voice in my head that tells me to just lay in bed for five more minutes. With some effort, I pushed off the covers and got out of bed, feeling a slight chill in the cold morning air. Shivering for a moment, I quickly trotted over to my wardrobe and fetched out my light green Plant Team vest. I was tempted to throw it straight on to ward off the cold, but figured that a hot shower would probably do a better job. So after making my bed, I laid out the vest on it, and went across the hall to have a quick shower and brush my teeth. I found Applejack on her hind legs at the sink doing her own teeth. She still looked a little tired, and like me, had only just gotten up. Although her wet, and currently let down mane, told me she’d just gotten out of the shower.
“Mornin’, AJ,” I said blearily. Applejack did her best to reply ‘good morning’, but the toothbrush in her mouth didn’t do much for her diction.
Pulling back the curtain, I stepped into the shower and started the water, which was still warm. It really helped to push back the cold, although I knew that before too long I’d have to go back into the cold, cold world. As we both came to, we talked through the curtain. I honestly don’t know why ponies even have shower curtains. It’s not like we’re any more naked than we are normally. So why was there a need for privacy? For a moment, I toyed with the idea of asking AJ to join me. I may be asexual, but I’m not above letting AJ have some fun. But given that the rest of the family would be up soon and queuing to use the facilities, I decided against it. There was too much work to do today. Maybe I could suggest something later tonight if we weren’t all knackered. As I finished up washing my mane and tail, AJ called out to me through the curtain.
“I’m gonna head downstairs and help Granny start on breakfast. Okay, Bones?” she said, keeping her voice just loud enough to be heard.
“Sure, AJ,” I called back. “I’ll be done in a minute, and I’ll come and help you.”
With that, I heard the bathroom door open and close. I quickly finished washing the suds out of my mane and shut the water off. Hot water is a luxury on Sweet Apples Acres, and I wasn’t about to be accused of wasting it. Hell, I remember when there was something of a minor drought last summer due to a weather mix up, we had to follow old Navy style, have the water on to wash yourself, turn it off, soap yourself up, and then turn it back on again to wash off. At least on this cold winter morning I could indulge in a Hollywood shower. Or would that be Applewood here?
Hoping out of the shower, and back into the cold, I quickly brushed my teeth and gave my face one more good wash before heading downstairs to join Applejack.
Heading downstairs, I found Applejack hard at work already. Even by our standards it was far too early for anyone to be up and about, and the poor girl looked haggard. So, falling back on traditional gender roles, I offered to take over making breakfast for her. But this was Applejack.
“Oh, quite your fussin’, Bones,” she said with more venom than she probably intended. “I can manage just fine. Ain’t no need for y’all to swoop in.”
“Okay, okay,” I said placatingly, holding up my two front hooves in a gesture of surrender. “I ain’t your papa. Just tryin’ to help. At least let me make you some coffee.” AJ relented at this.
“Sure,” she said, pausing to yawn. “And sorry, Bones. It’s just too early for anypony to be up right now.”
“Yeah, ain’t that the truth,” I agreed as I started on the coffee. I think black would be the order of the day; get the caffeine full force.
A short while later, the rest of the family joined us. Firstly, Big Mac, who also tried and failed to pry his little sister away from the stove, and then Apple Bloom and Granny Smith, the latter of whom did manage to convince AJ to let her at least help.
“Consarn it, Applejack,” the old matriarch said. “Y’all can be one real stubborn filly sometimes. We’re all gonna be busy today. Ain’t no sense in tryin to do everythin’ by yourself.”
As we all sat down to breakfast, which consisted of generous helpings of warming porridge and seemingly infinite cups of coffee, we all slowly began to wake up properly. Apple Bloom was considered too young to have coffee and had to make do with sweet cider. The house was warming up a bit too with the stove on, and Big Mac had thrown a few logs on the fire in the other room. We had a little bit of time yet before we needed to head out to town to all get our assignments. I think Applejack was a bit touchy this morning, partly due to the lack of coffee, but also because she acts as the Plant Team leader during Winter Wrap Up. That’s a whole lot of responsibility when you get right down to it, and she rightly takes such matters very seriously.
Still, at least we had an hour or so of peace and quiet before we had to head into town.
Or so I thought. The only explanation I can think of is, at some point, I must have said ‘Well, it’s not like things can get any worse’ or words to that effect. Not long after we sat down to breakfast, we had a visitor. We were all startled by a sudden rapping on the door.
“Now who in Equestria could be that?” Apple Bloom asked in surprise.
Today, it was the same all over Equestria. Everypony would be working hard to wrap up winter and move on into spring tomorrow. There was no time to pay call on friends or relatives. And we always all met up in front of Town Hall for our assignments. So who could it be? My first thought was maybe Twilight, with some new, even more complicated schedule for us all to follow. Even as the organiser, Winter Wrap Up does cause Twilight to go Twilighting, as ponies have come to call it. My guess though, as Big Mac got up to get the door, was dead wrong.
The unfortunate stallion had barely opened the door when it was all but thrown back on its hinges by our new visitor. Big Mac was sent stumbling backwards, and only just managed to avoid a door in the face.
“Good morning, Big Mac!” an all too familiar voice shouted. Pinkie Pie was upon us. May Celestia have mercy on our souls.
Now, let me be clear. I love Pinkie Pie. She is, with the possible exception of Fluttershy, the nicest pony in all of Equestria. She did all she could to make us feel welcome when we got here, threw us all parties on our birthdays, pitched in to do something nice for Mom and Dad on their wedding anniversary, and in general, will stop and drop everything she’s doing if she sees somepony in need of help or cheering up, sometimes even to the detriment of her own well-being. While that may be the case, I was in no way prepared to deal with the hyperactive party pony this early in the morning. Not that that was going to do anything to stop her as she quite literally bounced into the kitchen like Zebedee. She was well prepared for the cold weather, with her own team’s vest on, along with a yellow and baby blue bobble hat, earmuffs, and boots on her hooves.
“And good morning to you, Applejack. Good morning, Granny Smith. Good morning, Apple Bloom. And good morning, Bones!” She continued to excitedly bounce in place and I resisted the urge to grit my teeth and forced a smile.
“Mornin’, Pinkie Pie,” I replied kindly. “What brings y’all here this early?”
The party pony reached behind the fridge, and in a move that as point only slightly surprises me, produced several sets of ice skates. I swear that she’s part draconequus or something. Discord is the only other creature who can seemingly bend reality like that. But even he can’t explain Pinkie Pie half the time.
“It’s you and me Bones!” she declared excitedly. “We’re going full on Blades of Glory!”
“Er, come again, Pinkie?” I asked, wondering to myself how on earth she knew about that film.
“You and me, Bones,” she repeated, now in a more subdued volume. “Twilight assigned you to work with me this morning on cutting up the ice on the lake here on Sweet Apple Acres.” Applejack set down her mug of coffee.
“How the hay do you know that?” she exclaimed. “Ain’t nopony supposed to know any of the assignments before we all meet up at town hall.”
“Oh, Twilight wanted to do a bit of a trial run this year with a few of the jobs. Something about how much time was wasted getting everypony gathered in Ponyville. She sent me and a few other ponies to meet up with the ponies doing the first set of jobs today.”
It wasn’t like we’d all just be doing one thing today. We’d all get our assignments, and then work through a steady and tightly controlled timetable, going from one job to the next until the day was done. It sort of made sense in hindsight, but at that moment, my brain didn’t have the spare processing power to appreciate it.
“So we have to get started right now?” I asked forlornly. Pinkie, oblivious to my despair, nodded excitedly.
“Yes indeedy!” she replied. “You help me cut up the ice on the lake, and then we head into Ponyville for the rest of our jobs. Come on, Bones! There’s no time to lose!”
With that, I found myself yanked from my seat by her earth pony strength and all but dragged out of the house. I barely had time to grab my plant team vest and my stetson before we were out the door. The last thing I saw before I was dragged from the house was my loving marefriend sniggering behind her hoof at my fate.
The lake was a fair distance away from the farmhouse, but Pinkie wasted no time in getting there. She gleefully bounced along the still frost covered path, still holding my hoof in her iron grip. I swear, she has to be almost as strong as Applejack, or even Big Mac. Still, the walk there, and her constant chattering did help complete the long, slow process of me waking up that had been going on from the moment I woke up. Most of it, I’ll admit, I tuned out as white noise. Pinkie Pie does have an amazing ability at times to talk so much and say so little. But from time to time, she comes out with some seriously deep stuff, enough to make the likes of Kant or Nietzsche take notice.
Arriving at the lake, we found it still frozen over like the Thames. A thick layer of ice covered it completely; thick enough for a pony to walk on it seemed, as we weren’t the only ones out here this early. Sitting not too far from the middle of the lake, having drilled a small hole to dangle a fishing rod, was Zecora, Ponyville’s resident zebra. She and I get on well enough. I buy the odd potion off her at the market from time to time, as well as some of her herbal teas. I also sometimes take Apple Bloom into the Everfree Forest so Zecora can give her some lessons on potion making. She was sitting contentedly, focussed on the task at hoof. And judging by the small bucket full of fish next to her, she’d had quite a good expedition. I was awake enough now to be friendly, so I called out to her.
“Hey!” I called out to her. “Drift Ice Station Zebra!” Pinkie Pie chuckled at my reference to the old film. Zecora looked up from her work. Pulling her fishing line in, she packed up her supplies into her saddlebags and trotted over to us.
“Good morning, you two,” she said. “I assume you are here to help melt the ice? As much as I enjoy fishing, it would be better if the weather was a little more nice.” I was always amazed at how Zecora could just rhyme on the fly like that. If I had to speak in rhyme I’d probably only say something once a month.
“That’s right, Zecora,” Pinkie replied. “How come you were out there fishing though? I didn’t know zebras ate fish.” Zecora chuckled.
“It’s not for eating, my excitable friend, but to go in a potion that will cause headaches to mend.”
Ah, so she was working on Equestria’s answer to paracetamol. You always had to do a bit of translating with Zecora, even if she did rhyme in Ponish. I was probably going to need some of it by the end of today, or in the next few minutes. The wise zebra shaman then took her leave, heading back for her home in the Everfree. She was wise enough to avoid Pinkie at this time of the day. Meanwhile, I turned back to Pinkie, who was already doing up her skates.
“Pinkie,” I said carefully. “You do know I’ve never done any ice skating before, right?”
One thing that has carried over from my human body to my equine one, is my at times poor coordination and balance. I tried rollerblading when I was a kid and just ended up falling on my arse a lot. The same could be said for when my parents took us all skiing at the snow dome. I knew jack about skating except that I was probably not going to be very good at it. Pinkie however, had other ideas.
“Oh, don’t worry, Bones,” she reassured me. “It’s easy as pie! Just put your skates on and follow me.”
Resigned to my fate, I did as I was asked. Picking the skates up in my magic, I began to put them on, doing the laces up tight. Before too long, all four hooves had a skate on, and I was hobbling out to join Pinkie on the ice.
“Okay,” I said as I did my best to avoid falling over where I stood. “How do I do this?”
And so, Pinkie began to teach me the basics of skating. If you ask me, it is somewhat easier to do it as a pony. Four legs are far more stable than two. By degrees, I began to grasp the basics. After all, it wasn’t like I was training for Olympic figure skating. All I had to do was skate back and forth across the ice, cutting it into smaller chunks so as to speed the melting process. It actually was quite a lot of fun as I began to get the hang of things. Okay, at first, I did indeed fall on my rear end a few times. But Pinkie kept encouraging me and before too long, I was able to skate and stay upright without too much effort. I might not have looked all that graceful, and I certainly didn’t hold a candle to Pinkie, who gleefully pirouetted and twirled around on the ice while I practised just skating in a straight line and controlling my speed, but it would do for the task before us.
And so, about forty five minutes later, having briefly paused for a cup of hot cocoa that Pinkie had brought with her in a thermos, the two of us put on the thicker skates that were meant for cutting up the ice, and set to work. Pinkie trotted over to the other side of the lake. We’d be skating in a fairly precise pattern. I would go up and down on the lake, while Pinkie would skate left to right. This way, we could cut the lake up more quickly, and without risking either of us falling in as the ice gave way. Still, for it to work, we had to be pretty close to perfect with our timing.
“Okay, Pinkie!” I called out. “Whenever you’re ready.” Pinkie waved back, and on the count of three we set off.
I was at the bottom of the lake on the right hand side. Pinkie meanwhile, was on the right hand bank near the top. We both started at the same moment. If we did everything right, there’d be no need to worry about having to avoid each other, or deal with collapsing ice. We both quickly built up speed as we glided across the lake. The specialised skates cut deeply into the ice, compromising its integrity. As we both skated, the cracks we were making would begin to join up, causing the previously solid mass to separate into smaller chunks.
As I neared the opposite bank, I kicked out the two skates on one side to slow my speed and leaned to the left to begin a sweeping left turn. At the far left hand side of the lake, Pinkie was doing the same. We criss-crossed with each other on the way back and the first parts of the lake ice began to give way.
The two of us repeated the process several times, moving slowly across the lake, and cutting up more of the ice. All in all, I’d say it probably took no more than four or five minutes. But I was concentrating more on keeping with the rhythm we’d set up and not accidentally falling into the icy water. While falling in wouldn’t have me end up like Sir Ranulph Fiennes and losing half a hoof to frostbite, it was still plenty cold.
Eventually, we both came to the end of our runs, at more or less the same time. We were both now at the opposite position to where we’d started. I was at the top left hand corner of the lake, and Pinkie was diagonally opposite from me. As we retreated back to the safety of the bank, our handiwork began to pay off. I watched with amazement as the arrow straight paths we’d carved began to all connect. There came a tremendous cracking sound as the fractures spread out like a spider’s web. And then finally, the ice began to break apart into nice neat little squares, that floated atop the freezing water. Once the grey clouds above us were moved out of the way, the bright, warming sun would make quick work of the smaller chunks of ice.
Taking off the skates and, in typical style, knotting the laces and throwing them around my neck, I headed over to join Pinkie Pie. The snow might still have been thick on the ground, and it might still have been cold, but we’d just started to loosen winter’s grip on the landscape.
“Well, that went better than I expected,” I said to her. Pinkie chuckled.
“Oh, come on, Bones,” she said encouragingly. “You’ve got to be more self-confident. You did great out there.”
“If you say so, Pinkie,” I replied. “You were great though too.”
She was right though. I remember the first time I helped Applejack out on the farm. I had nowhere near the strength or endurance I had now. By the end of the day, I thought my limbs were going to fall off, while she’d barely broken a sweat. But I’d kept at it, slowly built myself up, and now I was just as capable as her or Big Mac. I’m sure, with time, I could probably become just as good at skating as Pinkie was. Too bad all the ice was melting now.
“Aww, thanks, Bones,” she said, pulling me into a one armed bear hug for a moment. “C’mon though, we better head to Ponyville. Twilight will be handing out the rest of the jobs for everypony.”
And so, I once again found myself on the road to town, only this time I had a good friend along for the ride.
Ponyville was packed when we got there. Were it not for the fact that the sport doesn’t exist in Equestria, I’d have thought there was a football match on or something. The crowd was concentrated around Town Hall, where Twilight had set up shop on a stage specially set up for her. Everypony present was decked out in their particular team’s colours. As part of the plant team, most of my work would be focussed on Sweet Apple Acres and the other farms, ploughing, planting new seeds and so forth. Pinkie meanwhile would continue to deal with more weather related matters on the Weather team. Ponies like Fluttershy and Rarity meanwhile, on the animal team, were responsible for helping the many animals that called Ponyville home adjust to the change. Hibernating animals, including Rainbow’s pet tortoise Tank, would need to be woken up, the birds from southern Equestria needed to be guided back home, and the sheep and cattle needed to be herded from their farmyard shelters back out onto open pasture. With so much to deal with, Twilight was the natural choice to organise everything into a well oiled machine. Once upon a time, Ponyville had gotten a bad reputation for finishing Winter Wrap Up behind schedule.
As we made our way through the crowds, Pinkie and I parted ways as I met up again with Applejack and the others. She’d also picked up Caramel on her travels. Caramel’s a nice enough guy. He actually kinda reminds me of me when I was younger. He’s got a good heart, but can be a little nervous and forgetful at times, to the point where his losing some of the seeds became something of a running gag come Winter Wrap Up. Still, he was usually assigned to Sweet Apple Acres to help out the Plant team.
With everypony assembled, Twilight began dividing each of the teams into sub-teams, giving each various jobs to do in and around Ponyville. I was assigned a job I was more or less familiar with at this point; snow clearing. Before the fields could be ploughed and have the new seeds planted, the vast amounts of snow needed to be cleared away. And while Equestria doesn’t have access to motorised snow ploughs, they do have the next best thing, relying on pony power instead.
I was assigned, along with several other ponies, to clear several of the fields on Sweet Apple Acres, as well as a few on other farms. The snow ploughs we had were essentially a small cart, with a snowplough fitted at the front, and two flanges at the side to funnel the snow into the bed at the back. This way, you gathered up the snow, instead of just pushing it around. The only downside was that they were a right beggar to move, particularly as they filled up with more and more snow. I smiled to myself as I remembered the scene from the first season where the then unicorn Twilight Sparkle tried to use a Come to Life spell on the plough, that sent it hurtling all over the place, and ticking off the somewhat anti-magic Applejack in the process. Luckily, as time has gone by, my marefriend has come to relax that policy a bit, particularly when shown the advantages, never mind the fact that her own strength comes from magic. Still, I do consider it something a point of pride to be able to work on the farm without having to ‘resort’ to magic as it were.
Along with myself, I had Caramel, Doc Hooves, and my own old man helping out with the section of fields I was to work on clearing. Dad of course, being human, and not exactly suited to a snowplough built for equines, arrived with the more homo sapiens sapiens suited shovel and wheelbarrow. The four of us quickly set to work in earnest. Me, Doc and Caramel would man the snowploughs, while Dad, at intervals, would empty the beds of each one as they filled up and cart it away. It made the best use of our resources according to a certain alicorn princess. Dad just grumbled about how the unicorns up in Canterlot used their magic to do everything in twenty minutes flat.
Still, we soon set to work, with the three of us dividing the fields between us and slowly working our way across each one, somewhat like how Pinkie and I had worked our way across the ice. Unlike that though, this job took a lot more effort, and I soon found myself wishing for my marefriend’s superhuman strength. The plough alone is heavy enough, but pushing it against tightly packed snow made it even more difficult. The Doc did come up with something of a fix though, applying a coat of oil and diesel fuel to the plough, which helped stop the snow clumping up and blunting the plough.
As we worked, building up quite a sweat that soon saw off the previous cold, I watched the landscape slowly change. The landscape was now no longer a sea of unbroken white. Plenty of patches and green and brown were now beginning to appear as the snow was cleared away by the teams. And by mid afternoon, the snow was all but gone. In a way, I was a little saddened by the change. As I said before, the world looked so beautiful under a blanket of snow. But then again, I wasn’t going to miss the cold, or having to scrape off my hooves every time I went into the house. Soft grass underfoot was far more pleasant.
High above us, the weather was also being changed over. The local Weather Patrol, including my little sister Lizzie, and Rainbow Dash, along with the vast majority of the pegasi in Ponyville were busily clearing away the grey clouds that had been more or less hanging about continuously since early January. The warming sunlight soon began to shine through, first as thin rays of light, and eventually as a pleasant spring sun. Celestia had turned the heat up just enough to be pleasant and melt the snow. It was nice to see the sunny blue skies again, and to feel the warmth of the sun on my coat. The snow we'd all helped clear away soon began to melt into mush, and very shortly into water, that drained into the nearby lake and river running through town. I liked the speediness of Winter Wrap Up. The worst part of snow, if you ask me, was the halfway point of melting, when the ground was covered in horrid mush that mixed with the mud and made everything look horrid and stuck to everything. Thanks to controlled weather and careful management, you didn’t get that in Equestria.
With the snow ploughing done and dusted, we all moved onto our next jobs. In my case, this saw me working with the plant team leader for a bit as we both turned our attention to Sweet Apple Acres’ apple trees.
As we moved from winter into spring, there were plenty of jobs that would need doing around Sweet Apple Acres. One of those involved pruning the apple trees. Most plants respond well to a trim in the spring. It keeps the trees in the orchard neat and in line, and stops an individual tree growing out and intertwining with its neighbours. It also helps stimulate growth in the tree down the line as it ages, and helps produce a greater crop yield. And while it might be nice to sit under the shade of an apple tree in the high summer, that wasn’t what they were for. Good apple trees didn’t give too much shade. The idea was to create a conical shape to ensure that the entire tree got plenty of sunlight and nutrients. We’d trim off any dead or diseased branches, anything that was pointing downward, anything that wasn’t showing any shoots, and possibly a few of the larger ‘scaffold’ branches as they were known, which could potentially block sunlight. The remaining branches were usually trimmed by around a third to encourage strong regrowth over the year. It also clears out the dead growth that is a fire hazard.
As you would back on Earth, Applejack and I would mainly use hand tools to prune away the branches. Although I could also use my magic, in the form of a finely focussed fire spell to prune back thicker branches that would otherwise require a saw. After all, there were a lot of trees to prune. We would only be doing a section of the orchard, with Big Mac and dozens of other ponies working on the rest, so as to finish in time for the start of spring tomorrow.
“Y’all ready for this, Bones?” Applejack asked as she grabbed her pruning shears and a few other odds and ends, along with a ladder to help get at the higher branches. As I saw her lugging that along with her, an idea popped into my head.
“Sure, Applejack,” I replied. “But I think you may be able to leave that here.” I gestured to the ladder. The farm pony pushed her stetson back for a moment and gave me a puzzled look.
“Say what now, sugarcube?” she said. I explained my idea.
“Why don’t we use my magic instead?” I suggested. “Instead of you havin’ to climb a ladder, I can just use my magic to levitate you up there. I can move you around each tree and even help you get right up to the top branches.”
Applejack considered the idea for a moment, clearly not too convinced.
“I don’t know, Bones,” she said after a moment. “That sounds mighty dangerous.”
“No, I can do it, AJ,” I reassured her. “My magic is plenty strong enough. I’ve got good fine motor control too. I certainly won’t drop you or anythin’. Tell you what; how about we do a little test. If you ain’t comfortable with it, we’ll just use the ladder.”
This seemed to sway her. To her credit, Applejack has done her best to try and be open to new ideas and new ways of doing things ever since she had to leave Twilight briefly in charge of the farm, and realised how many of her chores could be easily simplified. She’d just gotten into habit and routine.
“Alright,” she said with a nod, setting down her stuff. “Just promise me y’all are gonna be careful.” I smiled.
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” I replied, doing the requisite motions.
Focussing for a moment, I activated my magic. Levitation, and telekinesis in general, isn’t that difficult. After all, it’s one of only a few spells that pretty much every unicorn is capable of, regardless of their magical power. But as with physical muscles, the amount that one unicorn can lift differs between ponies. Now, I’m no Twilight Sparkle, and you certainly won’t see me levitating an Ursa Minor through the air any time soon. But I am reasonably strong; strong enough to lift Applejack at any rate without too much effort.
She let out a short cry of surprise as the dark blue hue of my magic surrounded her and her hooves left the ground. I tried to be as gentle as possible. Having flown several times, I knew well the uneasy feeling of being in the air, particularly when you weren’t in control of what was happening.
“You okay, Applejack?” I asked as I suspended her a couple of feet off the ground. Applejack looked a little startled, but soon adapted to her new situation.
“Sure,” she replied, looking down at the ground as it slowly moved away from her as I lifted her up more. I decided to be a little cheeky.
“Kinda a role reversal, ain’t it?” I said. “Usually you’re the one who’s throwin’ me around like a rag doll, at least in the bedroom.”
Like I said before, with AJ’s strength, intimacy with her is er…interesting. Particularly when she gets really excited and forgets just how strong she is. While I had no trouble lifting her, to AJ, I’m light as a feather. The comment made her blush up to her ears.
“Bones!” she exclaimed. I let out a laugh, while AJ fumed good naturedly at her inability to retaliate. In the end, she settled for hurling her stetson at me.
After that, we slowly went through the process of getting Applejack used to being held in my magic. I carefully manoeuvred her around an apple tree, and she practised pruning some of the higher branches, and the two of us worked out a proper way to communicate where she wanted to go. In a sense, I was making the task more difficult. But at the same time, it also made things a lot easier, and there was far less chance of anypony falling and hurting themselves.
After about ten minutes or so of practice, the two of us headed out into our section of orchard, sans ladder, to start pruning back the apple trees. We still had plenty of time left, but there were also many other jobs to do after this. It wasn’t even lunchtime yet. Applejack would take charge of actually pruning back the trees, and I would help collect up the cut down branches. After all, while I was using my magic, I didn’t have to necessarily keep still, so I could move around underneath and catch the trimmings as they fell.
The two of us soon arrived at the first tree in our section. These were all reasonably young trees, a few years old now, having matured some time ago. Effective pruning here would greatly improve their crop yield in the autumn.
“Ready, AJ?” I asked as we both got into position, her with the shears, and me with a large apple basket.
“Ready, Bones,” she replied, taking a moment to adjust her hat one more time.
Activating my magic, AJ was soon encased in my magic. With now practised care, I gently lifted her off the ground, pausing for a moment to give her a chance to get used to the sensation of being suspended in the air. After that, I levitated her up to the highest part of the tree, with the intent of slowly lowering her down in a sort of spiral fashion.
Applejack soon got to work, picking out unnecessary or obstructing branches, as well as any that weren’t showing any buds. We called back and forth to each other as we worked around the tree. While I had to concentrate to keep Applejack steady and get her where she wanted to go, I couldn’t help but reflect on how much trust she’d put in me. Were the situation reversed, I’m not sure I’d have been as easily convinced. Heck, even if it was Twilight, or Celestia even, I might still be a little uneasy. Applejack clearly had a lot of trust in me, and I do consider her, amongst other things, an excellent judge of character, so I was pleased by the unspoken endorsement.
I was quickly brought back to reality though, as my marefriend cut down a larger branch on the tree, and sent it landing in the basket I was holding, also with my magic, with a sharp crash. I quickly got my mind back to the task at hand. Now of all times, was not the time for daydreaming or deep introspection.
After we finished the first tree, we soon fell into a comfortable pattern. Applejack even suggested we do this sort of thing for a few other jobs. It also sparked a question from her.
“So just how strong is your magic, Bones?” she asked. I thought for a moment before replying.
“I’m not that too much above the average according to Twilight. I certainly don’t hold a candle to her or Starlight,” I replied.
“Still, this is mighty impressive, sugarcube,” Applejack replied. “Y’all have been holdin’ me up here for nearly an hour now, and you still don’t look all that tired. I don’t think I could hold you over my head for this long.”
“Maybe,” I called back up. “But I don’t think I could lift an entire apple tree. And I saw you do that with just your back legs that one time.”
“So which would you rather have?” AJ asked. “Physical strength or powerful magic?”
Well, that was the question wasn’t it?
On the one hoof, superman strength was quite a tempting option. If nothing else, it would put me and AJ on more equal terms. Although I have to admit, being pinned down by a mare does have its charms. Still, it would make farm work a whole lot easier, and I’d love to be able to empty a whole apple tree with one kick. But on the other hoof, magic offers so much more diversity. With magic I can lift and move objects at a distance, my horn can serve as an impromptu torch, and in a pinch, I can even teleport short distances, although that is a rare act, since it leaves me pretty much drained. And of course, magic can also be used for defence, as in my cutie mark, shielding me and others from harm more than simple physical strength ever could.
“I reckon I’d stick with magic,” I eventually replied. “Sure, I wouldn’t mind being as strong as you or Big Macintosh, but at this point, my magic is like another limb. I’d feel lost without it.”
“I suppose I’d feel the same,” AJ agreed. “Well, that and I reckon I’d look mighty strange with a horn.” That made us both laugh.
And so we steadily worked our way through our section of the orchards, occasionally passing bemused ponies working on neighbouring trees. By the time we were done, the trees had all been neatly trimmed back and now resembled their more recognisable rounded shape, although it was a little hard to see with the trees still being virtually bare.
With the last one done, I carefully lowered AJ back to the ground. Deactivating my magic, the blue glow that had surrounded her, and the familiar tinkling bell sound that unicorn magic produces, dissipated and she was able to move under her own steam again.
“Thanks for your help, Bones,” Applejack said, adjusting her hat and coat. “That was a real bright idea ya had today.”
“Don’t mention it, AJ,” I replied kindly. “Just don’t expect me to be able to pick a dozen apple trees at once come Applebuck Season.” Applejack laughed.
“Well, the farm’s all ready to start up again,” she said as we both looked over the orchard, which was quickly turning green again as the last of the snow melted under the warming sun. “I’d say winter’s been well and truly wrapped up.”
One week later…
School was now back in session, and that meant that things were really on the up-tick. As the farm returned to life, Applejack had to split her time between farm work and teaching at the school, to say nothing of the occasional friendship mission the map in Twilight’s castle might send her on.
The same could somewhat be said for me. While I’m not a full time teacher, in the aftermath of the incident with Cozy, I came to an arrangement with Headmare Twilight. In exchange for using their extensive academic facilities to further my own research, I acted as something of a supply teacher, helping cover classes for any of them as needed. I’m not one to boast too much, but several seasons of MLP, and a couple years living it, has given me a pretty solid groundwork to teach the subject of friendship and harmony, and I do enjoy it too. The other positive was that it gave Applejack a bit more free time. As I said before, at times, she could be run pretty ragged by her schedule, so it made sense to share the workload where we could.
And of course Apple Bloom was now back at school as well. And while the filly may be perfectly old enough to get there and back on her own, a certain overprotective big sister insists that the little filly be escorted by somepony, just to be safe, so that was another task split between me, AJ, Big Mac, and Granny Smith.
Yes, all in all, life on the farm was fast becoming busy. And we weren’t even near the high water mark yet. Just wait until Applebuck Season rolls around in the autumn, with the cider making right on its heels. Before too long though, we’d get used to the routine. I found myself finding my feet as it were about a week or so after Winter Wrap Up, which saw me covering a lesson for AJ.
“Honesty,” I was saying to the assembled class, which included the now well known exchange students from outside Equestria. “Is about truth. But let me ask you this; what is truth?”
I paused and turned around to face the class, having written the word ‘Truth’ in large, mostly neat letters on the classroom chalkboard. The students were all listening and paying close attention. Twilight’s told me before I have a natural talent for lecturing. Maybe I should have tried to do one of those TED talks before we wound up here. Around the classroom, a smattering of hooves and claws went up.
“Yes, Ocellus,” I said, calling on the school’s only changeling student. She reminds me a lot of Fluttershy, and I’ve found her to be extremely intelligent, certainly the most academic of her little group of friends.
“It’s an absolute,” she replied in her somewhat quiet voice. “Something that is inherently right and correct, that any creature can see and agree with.” I nodded.
“Yes, that’s scientific truth; the absolute certainty; something that has been hypothesised and tested by the scientific method. But let’s go a little deeper. Scientific truth is true because it can be proven by experimentation. But what about truth itself. How can truth be true?”
“That’s a tautology,” Gallus, the resident griffin, called out from a couple rows back. This set the students muttering to each other and going over their notes. Eventually, a couple more hooves and claws went up. One surprised me.
“Yes, Silverstream?” I said calling on the excitable hippogriff.
“Well, there can’t be,” she said, answering my question. “Everycreature has their own version of the truth. It builds and defines their view of the world. It’s like...the lens through which they view it. It’s our truth that the Storm King was an insane megalomaniac. But I’m sure he genuinely believed he wasn’t the bad guy, even after all the horrible things he did. That was his truth.”
“That’s belief though, Silverstream,” Sandbar said. “Believing that you aren’t the bad guy doesn’t change the truth that you are.”
“Very good, Sandbar,” I agreed. “You are somewhat right though, Silverstream. We all do have our own personal truths that colour our view of the world. And societies in general have their own truths, influenced by the times they exist in, changing the truth as it goes. Yesterday’s good may be tomorrow’s evil, and both points of view are ‘true’.”
“Well then, nothing can be true then,” Gallus said. “All our laws and beliefs come from temporary truths that change over time. If there’s no underlining absolute truth to the world, then they’re all meaningless.”
“Now there’s a scary thought,” I said as I nodded in agreement. “But in a way, you are right, Gallus.”
Turning around, I picked up the chalk and jotted a few lines on the blackboard. My Arabic is a little rusty, but being a lefty, it was much neater than my English or Ponish. All the students looked on, uncertain what the alien writing meant. After putting in all the proper grammar notation (written Arabic doesn’t actually include any vowels, you know) I turned back to the class.
“La shay' sahihun. Kula shay' musamuwhun,” I said. “Nothing is true. Everything is permitted. If there is no absolute truth, as Gallus suggests, then there is no basis for morality. The notion of honesty is null and void in the absence of a truth to be honest about. But, of course, that assumes there is no truth to be honest about.”
“But you just showed us that it can’t exist,” Silverstream said.
“No,” I gently corrected. “I showed that our understanding of the truth changes and varies. The truth itself is another matter altogether. Truth is beyond ponies, griffons, yaks, changelings, dragons, hippogriffs, or any other creatures on this world or others. It is separate from us, existing entirely independently.
“You said earlier, Gallus, that the notion of the truth being true was a tautology. And we’ve argued now over whether or not truth is real. By doing so, we prove truth’s existence. Logically, you can’t argue about anything without there being a truth existing. To say there is no absolute truth, is itself a statement of an absolute fact, an absolute truth. So, as much as our own truths may change and warp with time, the truth itself, as an absolute, continues to exist. And in turn, an absolute truth allows for a creature to be honest, or dishonest when it comes to that truth.”
I watched with a small amount of mirth as the students tried to process this interesting proposition. Maybe next week I can talk to them about perception, Plato’s Ideal Form, and the different worlds we all see and exist in. I certainly seemed to have triggered a bit of an existential crisis in poor Yona who was now staring off into space with a thousand yard stare.
With that, I ended the lecture and spent ten minutes or so doing Q&A with the students. Some ponies might mock this school and its subjects, but as you can see, we deal with some pretty heavy duty philosophy. As the bell rang, the students all filed out for the day. Most would now split their time between the library and their dorm rooms.
As for me, I had to head over to Ponyville’s other school to pick up Apple Bloom. Still, it beats grading term papers.
Ponyville’s other, more long standing school, is a much smaller affair than the grandiose Hogwarts-esque School of Friendship. It’s a small simple schoolhouse, mostly built out of wood, and painted a soft red colour, with a small bell perched in an equally small bell tower. Given the small population of Ponyville, there’s only really one main class at the moment, covering a few years of school. You see similar setups in far flung places like Alaska, where there can often be only a couple of pupils in a single year group.
At the moment, Ponyville’s school had around twenty students in it, and two teachers; Cheerilee and my mum. Once upon a time, it was just poor Cheerilee all by her lonesome, running the classes, dealing with the CMC and their feuds with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, taking part in governors’ meetings, running parent teacher conferences; it was a lot for one mare. When we ended up here and realised we could be stranded here a while, we all started to look for work. Mum, being a semi-retired teacher, offered to help out at the school, and was gladly accepted by Cheerilee. The pair have since become good friends both in and outside of work.
I got there just as school was letting out. The little brass bell was ringing out at the end of the day, and the students were tearing out the front door, with Mum and Cheerilee following behind. I meanwhile joined the assembled group of parents, older siblings, and other guardians who ritually gathered to collect the newly freed students. As we waited, the pony next to me struck up a conversation.
“Hey there, Bones,” Derpy, Ponyville’s resident mailmare, said. “I haven’t seen you since Winter Wrap Up. How have you been?”
Ah yes, Derpy. Back when all this was just fictional, she was the fandom’s adorable mascot. She’s certainly one of the uppermost benefits of being in Equestria. Like Pinkie Pie, she has an almost innate ability to cheer you up. She’s also, however, mother to the smartest filly in Ponyville, Dinky. The unicorn filly at first seems like any other eight year old. But if you spend five minutes with her, you quickly find that she’s smart as any adult, maybe even smarter.
“Oh, not too bad, Derpy,” I replied, touching the brim of my hat. “How have you and Dinky been?”
Derpy now got very excited, understandably so, considering the exciting news she had to share with me.
“My little muffin’s put in her application to Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns,” she said excitedly, brimming with pride. “Twilight says there’s a really good chance she’ll get invited for an assessment in a couple of months.”
“Well, that’s great, Derpy,” I said, meaning it too. “I’m sure she’ll get in. That filly’s as smart as Twilight. She’ll thrive there; they’ll really push her, way more than the school here can.”
No disrespect to my mum or Cheerilee, but Ponyville school isn’t built to cope with a pony that’s half Time Lord. You can thank Doc Whooves for that one. The guy’s retired these days, but he still has that wonderful blue box squirrelled away in the basement of his shop. And Dinky is more than capable of flying it.
“How’s Apple Bloom been?” Derpy went on. “She and her friends have been a real help working with Dinky and trying to find her cutie mark.”
“Believe it or not,” I said. “I think she’s glad to be back at school. I don’t know why, but winter really seemed to drag on this time around. I think we were all just glad for a change in routine. Having it be all quiet on the farm gets a mite tedious after a while.”
At that moment, I picked out Apple Bloom, along with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, in the crowd. The three were together, as they so often are; the now famous Cutie Mark Crusaders, boasting branches in Manehattan and Griffonstone. The three of them were chatting, but getting ready to part ways for the day. Scootaloo peeled off when she spotted her aunts who looked after her while her parents were away (trust me, that one came as quite a shock when I first found out), jumping on her scooter and buzzing her wings to shoot off, complete with the sound of a moped engine. Sweetie Belle meanwhile, cantered off toward Rarity, who I think was taking care of her this afternoon until their parents got back from Canterlot.
As for Apple Bloom, her sharp amber eyes soon picked out my stetson in the crowd, and along with Dinky, she galloped over to join us.
“Bones!” she exclaimed gleefully.
“Hey, Apple Bloom,” I said as she all but ran straight into me for a hug. “You have a good day at school?”
“Uh huh!” she said with a nod. “We’re all startin’ a project on hobbies. So I figured I could do somethin’ on potion making.”
Ah yes, Apple Bloom does have quite an interest in potions, having spent a fair bit of time around Zecora. The little filly’s creations have more than once helped with the crop yield this past year, as she’s learned to make some pretty decent fertiliser and growth supplements. She even, with help from Zecora, made up something to help Granny Smith when she came down with a bad case of the flu a couple months back.
“Oh, so what are you fixin’ to make then?” I asked. Apple Bloom pondered that one for a moment.
“I was thinkin’ about maybe one of those fast growth potions like I made last fall,” she said as we headed back towards home. “But I’ll need to get some stuff from Zecora to make it.”
“Alright,” I said agreeably. “Tell you what. We’ll drop your school stuff off back at the farmhouse, and then I’ll come with you to see Zecora. You know how AJ feels ‘bout you goin’ in that place by yourself.”
Although if you ask me, Applejack was quite right on that one. Hell would freeze over before I’d let AB into the Everfree without a guide.
So, after saying goodbye to Derpy and Dinky, we both headed back to the farm, and after dropping off her school stuff and saddlebags, the two of us set off into the Everfree, bound for Zecroa’s hut.
I must admit, it does seem like the Everfree Forest has slowly become less dangerous as time’s gone by. Back when I was first introduced to the place, when Twilight and her five new friends trekked through the place to reach the old castle and confront Nightmare Moon, it was dangerous as all Hell, filled with a multitude of dangerous monsters. But more recently, the place seems to have become a lot less threatening. I mean, Twilight and the others went on a merry little camping trip in there not too long ago.
Of course, this is partly due to some of the more dangerous creatures being dealt with. Celestia, SMILE, or somepony , has been busy filling up Tartarus with some of the nastier beasties of the Everfree.
The place though, is by no means safe. It’s still the Everfree, operating on a completely different set of rules than the rest of Equestria. It’s still filled with wild magic, and only held in check by the Tree of Harmony. I still actively avoid going in there unless I have to, but it’s a lot better than it was. I certainly felt a lot better about taking Apple Bloom in there these days, compared to when we first arrived.
That didn’t mean though I was going to let her go in there on her own. Even if she knows the way to Zecora’s like the back of her hoof, the forest is still full of cockatrices, cragadiles, timberwolves, never mind the ursa major. It is still the Everfree Forest. So after Apple Bloom had dropped her schoolwork back in her room at the house, the two of us set off through the fields for the edge of the forest. It wasn’t too far to the hut that Zecora called home, and it’s fairly easy to find, using the somewhat well travelled path to the old castle. Still, as we crossed the boundary and entered the darkened canopy, I couldn’t help but remember how unsettling it had been when I first woke up and found myself in this place.
Apple Bloom, for her part, in spite of the bravado she might put on, holds a similar view of Equestria’s answer to the Wild Wood. While she wasn’t outwardly scared, I noticed that she was sticking much closer to me than normal, and her ears were on a near constant swivel. I was doing the same. Ponies, being prey animals in the grand scheme of things, are constantly watchful and wary of their surroundings. My own ears and nose were giving me a lot of information about the world around us, and I was keeping a sharp eye on the trees.
The one good thing about the Everfree’s denizens, was that they were a lot like many dangerous creatures on Earth. People are careful around wolves, bears, cougars, coyotes and the like, but most of the time, if you don’t bother them, and they can’t get the drop on you, they’ll give you a wide berth and figure that you aren’t worth the effort. I kept my horn glowing as a light source to help reinforce this. Many creatures are fearful of magic, just as they are of fire.
Eventually, as we got further into the woods, with no sign of anything coming to cross our path, the two of us began to relax. Apple Bloom stayed close to me, but was no longer almost pressing herself up against my side.
Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. About ten minutes later, when we were about a half mile from Zecora’s hut, we ran into trouble. I first became aware of an odd feeling; the kind that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. I couldn’t see anything nearby, but I got the distinct impression that we were no longer alone. Apple Bloom seemed to feel the same way, and a moment later, the two of us stopped in our tracks.
“What is it, Bones?” the filly asked in a quiet voice. I looked around, trying to find whatever it was that was out there.
“I’m not sure, AB. Just stay close to me for now, okay?” I replied, wrapping a reassuring foreleg around her.
In my head, I was doing my best to recall all the important creatures that lived in this forest, and the best ways to keep them away. If worse came to absolute worst, I could probably pull off a short teleport, at the cost of my magical reserves. First though, we needed to know what we were up against.
Finally, I spotted something. Off to one side of the trail, hidden in the darkness of the deeper woods, I caught a pair of eyes glinting in the darkness. The eerie green glow didn’t fill me with confidence. Our gazes locked for a moment. Whatever it was seemed to start, realising that it had been spotted. But it didn’t retreat. Instead, it did quite the opposite.
An ominous howl now rang out, making it very clear that we’d encountered a timberwolf, and he was calling for his pack. And when I say timberwolf, I mean literally, a wolf made of wood. There strange creatures are formed out of the wild magic that exists within the Everfree. It isn’t evil by any stretch of the imagination, but like everything in the Everfree, it is beyond pony control. Like their flesh and blood counterparts, they were predators that hunted in packs. The only good thing was that, while impossible to outright kill, a solid hit from a rock or anything else would temporarily break them apart.
At my side, I heard Apple Bloom let out a soft whimper as the howl rang out. She was most likely the reason they’d decided to pick on us. A foal was much easier to pull down than a full grown stallion. Now they’d look to try and separate us so they could get at her. Well, I wasn’t about to let that happen.
As I said before, the best way to see off encounters like these was to convince the wolves that we were more trouble than we worth. If it became plain that it would take too much effort, they would most likely withdraw and look for other sources of food. I took a look around. There were seven pairs of eyes, arranged on either side of the trail, but they hadn’t encircled us. In fact, at the moment, they seemed more curious than anything else. They were sizing us, or more likely me, up. Time to show them I wasn’t worth it.
Reassuringly patting Apple Bloom, for a moment, I did my best to scare the timberwolves off. I didn’t stare at them; next to running, that’s the worst thing to do. They’d take that as a challenge, and you then just go from ‘food’ to ‘threat’. Instead, I made as much noise as I could, roaring like a horse, rearing up and down, pawing at the ground, tossing my head, as well as bringing my magic in on things. I fired off a couple simple light spells over the wolves, which detonated like little fireworks. Due to the risk of starting a forest fire, I kept any real fireworks as a last resort.
At first, the pack stood their ground. They ignored the shouting and roaring and the general display I was putting on. But the moment I used magic, and sent it in their direction, they took off. The eyes vanished and we heard the sound of wooden paws hurrying away. At least for now.
With the immediate threat over, I turned to Apple Bloom, who, despite her best efforts, looked visibly shaken.
“It’s okay, Apple Bloom,” I said, briefly leaning down and pulling her into a hug. “They’re gone now.”
After that, the two of us hurried to Zecora’s hut. Having lived in these woods for as long as she has, all the animals know to give her a wide berth, and the area around her home is pretty much safe. I kept my eyes and ears open, but the timberwolves showed no sign of returning, I was worried that they might just circle back after the initial shock and begin stalking us again, but I saw nothing to suggest that.
Before too long, we reached Zecora’s hut. After helping Apple Bloom gather supplies she needed for her school project, the zebra shaman was kind enough to join us on the journey back to the farm. Needless to say, we weren’t bothered by the timberwolves on the return trip.
That weekend saw us engaged in something far less stressful than wandering through the Everfree Forest. While winter had been wrapped up for a couple of weeks, there were still a few things to do on the farm as spring truly took hold. One of those involved the cattle that reside on Sweet Apple Acres.
The farm, you see, doesn’t just have apples. In addition to the various other crops, we also have a modest cattle herd and sheep flock, in addition to the chickens and pigs. While the latter are part of the farm; the chickens for eggs and the pigs for fertiliser and disposal of spoilt crops, the former are in a more unusual position. Both cattle and sheep are somewhat sentient, capable of speech and rational thought. As I’ve said before, they occupy a bit of a morally grey area in Equestrian society, at least by human standards. Of course, they aren’t slaughtered for meat; the cattle provide milk, while the sheep provide wool, with both species helping to keep the open grasslands of the farm in check through grazing. I suppose you could say there’s a sort of symbiotic relationship; in return for their milk or wool, ponies provide them with food and shelter in the colder winter months, as well as offering help whenever they need anything in the way of medicine. They also work as day labor, helping to pull carts and the like. While they might be able to speak, they are still animals if you will. They don’t build houses, and their society is just the same as any cow herd or flock of sheep you might find on Earth, only they can talk.
Anyway, I’m rambling. Moral quandaries aside, we look after these animals. That meant for the last few months, the sheep had been moved down to lower winter pastures, which were sheltered and offered better grazing, while the cattle had been moved into the sheds, both to protect them from the cold and to stop them poaching the ground and turning half the farm’s open grassland into a quagmire. With the onset of spring though, it was time to change that. The cows would be led back out onto the open range, and sheep would head up to their summer grazing pastures.
In short, we had ourselves a good old fashioned cattle drive. And by God was I looking forward to it. Okay, it wasn’t like we were taking 3,000 head of two year old steers up the Chisholm Trail, but it was still a proper cowboy cattle drive. This herd was more like fifty, and given their nature, would be a lot easier to herd, considering you could just tell them where you wanted them to go. We were more of an escort than anything else. Still, I was looking forward to it.
We’d lead the cattle out and once they were all set out, they’d be turned loose to do as they pleased. With fifty cattle to move, we needed all the help we could get, so everypony was getting involved; me Applejack, Big Mac, Apple Bloom, Granny Smith, and Winona, the family’s beloved Border Collie. We even had a little bit of extra help this year, as Sugar Belle; Big Mac’s girlfriend, had offered to lend a hoof.
And so, that morning we all gathered to start the drive. The cattle had been turned loose out of their winter sheds, and were presently milling about and grazing. Applejack would be in charge of the fairly short drive to the grazing pastures, acting as trail boss, to use the parlance of the exercise. I, along with Big Mac, would be up near the front of the herd, where we would help steer the herd as point men. Sugar Belle and Apple Bloom would be further back, keeping the main body of the herd from straying as swing men, while AJ and Granny would be at the rear, helping to drive the herd forward.
It was certainly quite a sight that morning. I couldn’t help but think back to that famous scene from Red River. At the start of the cattle drive, all the cowboys let out a yeehaw to get the cattle moving. We were no exception. As the morning sun rose above the eastern horizon, we heard Applejack call out.
“Alright! Move ‘em out!” she called from her spot at the rear of the column.
Apple Bloom started it, with her own, high pitched and excited yeehaw. Big Mac soon picked this with his own much deeper version. Sugar Belle took after her boyfriend, letting out a good approximation of a buffalo war whoop. Granny Smith let out an oddly Australian cooee, while Applejack gave us her own signature yeehaw. As for me, well, like Sugar Belle, I harkened back a little further in history, and let loose my best go of the ancestor of the yeehaw, the old Rebel Yell. The noise was more than enough to get the herd moving and we were soon underway.
Heading away from the barns and cow sheds, we threw the herd onto the trail. It would probably take most of the day for us to get the herd to pasture, but the only real obstacle was the river, which ran from the Everfree, through the farm and on over to Ponyville. But there was a serviceable ford for us to use, although given how much snow had melted since Winter Wrap Up, it might now require a bit of swimming.
To start with, the herd strung itself out, becoming a long, flowing column of cattle, which moved along at a steady pace. As I said before, we were more a guide or escort than anything else. You see, while they might be able to talk and hold a conversation with you, to the point that you wonder why they’re still treated more or less as we would animals, the cattle still retained many of their basic instincts. A sudden start could set them stampeding. Confronted with the river crossing on their own and they would balk. And if left to their own devices, they’d wander all over the place, doing all sorts of damage to the orchards and fields. That was why we were herding them as we were.
Still, for the most part, it was an easy enough undertaking. Big Mac and I effectively steered the herd along their course, keeping the leaders up front on the right track. The cows were friendly with the both of us, knowing us both well from their time in the sheds over the long winter.
“So, you lookin’ forward to gettin’ back to greener pastures Mooriel?” I asked one of the lead cattle.
“Oh, we sure are, Bones!” she replied in that oddly Wisconsin accent all the herd seem to have. “Being cooped up in those sheds is nice enough when it’s so cold outside. But now that it’s so much warmer, it’ll be great to have an open range again.”
“I bet,” I agreed. “I gotta admit, this winter really did seem to drag. I’m glad it’s over now.”
At this point, we heard the sound of hoofbeats coming up as AJ cantered up the column.
“Pay attention, you two,” she said to Big Mac and me. “Some of the youngsters are startin’ to stray off the trail.”
Cattle are curious beasts by nature, and so when they see something interesting, they do have this annoying tendency to wander off. Further back, the job of getting them back would fall to the swing men, but this far up, it was my job.
“You okay to keep the lead, Big Mac?” I called across the herd.
“Eeyup,” came the reply.
So I peeled off with Applejack, headed after five or six head of cattle that had wandered. We had been passing by the apple orchards at this point, and several of the youngsters had gathered around one of the trees, nibbling at the young shoots on the lower branches. AJ came at them from the right, and I from the left.
“Alright y’all,” our trail boss called out. “C’mon. Vamoose! Back to the herd with ya!”
The calves all looked up in surprise and, startled, started away from us. But as we had come wide from two different directions, we were able to check their flight and get them turned around. Presented with the sight of the herd, they soon rejoined their worried mothers, allowing us to return to our usual posts.
That pretty much set the tone for the day. A cattle drive, at least back on Earth, meant long hours in the saddle. Here it meant a long day on your hooves with little rest. Still, it was nice to make our way through the farm like this. It wasn’t too often that I went up to the open grasslands of the farm, apart from when we went out to check the fence line. The steady drive was punctuated by occasional strays, but other than that, all was quiet. It was mid afternoon when we came in sight of our one major obstacle; the river.
As we’d feared, melting snow had turned the normally fordable river into a torrent which would need to be swam across. The cattle all instantly balked at the state of affairs and the column quickly turned into a large mass gathered at the water’s edge. A couple of them tentatively dipped their hooves in the water, but quickly thought better of it. All of the ponies had also gathered to try and work out what to do.
It would take a good couple of weeks for the river to subside, and we couldn’t turn the cattle loose here so close to the orchards. Truth be told, the river acted as a sort of natural barrier between the orchard, the seeded fields, and the grazing pastures. Nor could we camp out here and wait for the river to subside. In the end, Granny Smith came up with the first suggestion.
“Why don’t we get Bones to use his magic to carry the cows across?” she suggested. We’d told everyone about the little stunt we pulled during Winter Wrap Up, and this seemed like an opportunity for a second application. However…
“I don’t know, Granny,” I said, taking a look at all the cattle. “Lifting one pony is one thing. There’s no way I could move the whole herd. Even if we did it in batches or one at a time, by the time we got about half way, I’d be exhausted, and then we’d have the herd split up on each side of the river.”
“What about building a bridge or a raft?” Sugar Belle offered.
“Nnope,” Big Mac replied. “The ground’s too soft on the river bed. We tried it a few years back. Any posts you put in the bed wash away, no matter how much you dig them in.”
I thought back to what little I remembered of old western stories of cattle drives. Water bound herds were a common problem on the trail. At least we didn’t have to worry about other herds behind us intermingling with our own. Although I did recall one, albeit somewhat unkind way of getting a balked herd to move.
“Why don’t we rope one of the calves and swim it across,” I suggested. “If anything will move these cattle, it’ll be a crying calf. They’ll just follow after it, forgetting their own concerns.”
“No way, Bones,” Applejack said firmly. “These cows are our friends, and I sure as hay ain’t gonna put some little calf in danger like that.”
In the end, it was little Apple Bloom who came up with the idea. Turns out those old Bible stories I’d sometimes tell her were paying off as she remembered a certain miracle from Exodus. While my magic wasn’t powerful enough to move the cattle, it was powerful enough to move the water. We couldn’t stop the flow outright, as that would flood everything upstream, but I could use my magic to channel the water over us. In effect, I could create a tunnel for the cows to pass through, although I wouldn’t be able to hold it for long. After much deliberation, it was agreed that this was the best option, and after putting it to the herd, they were equally agreeable, if not entirely cognisant of what would be happening.
So, having prepared the herd, I stepped into the river. It was reasonably easy to ford, despite the fast flowing water. While the water was constantly trying to push me over along with the current, given that it was reasonably shallow, I was able to dig in with my hooves and keep a firm footing.
The spell I’d be using was mainly a shield spell, something that I’m particularly good at, in light of my special talent. Just don’t go asking me to throw up a shield around Canterlot any time soon. Essentially, I’d create a semi-circle barrier around myself, forcing the water up and over me. I’d also add a channel on the top to keep the water from simply spilling off to the sides. The only opening would be at either side of the river, allowing the cattle to pass through.
Standing in the middle of the river, which let me say was bloody freezing cold, I began. I figured the best way to do this was to start behind me, and then bring the shield forward until it completely blocked the flow of water. Steadily, a dark blue arch began to form over me. For a few moments, the water rose as it had nowhere to go, and I got a brief soaking as the water channelled up the half finished barrier. But a few moments later, I was able to look up and see the perplexing sight of water rushing straight over my head.
It wasn’t an easy spell to pull off. I could feel the weight of the water pushing against my magic, and it was taxing to hold the flow of water aloft like this, so I quickly called out to Applejack.
“Okay, AJ! Bring the herd through. One at a time!”
Applejack and the others quickly got the herd moving. While a little uneasy about the situation, they did begin to move through my improvised archway. The river bed underfoot was muddy and slippery, but they showed no signs of bogging. Apple Bloom and Sugar Belle followed the leaders through, helping to guide them away from the river’s edge and stop the herd crowding. We needed to keep them moving. Celestia knew I couldn’t keep this up forever. By the time we were about two thirds of the way through, I was flagging.
“AJ!” I called out over the sound of the river. “You need to hurry this along. I can’t hold it much longer!”
In response, AJ did her best to hurry the herd. As we hit forty, my magic was starting to flicker and fizzle. I was getting near the limit of my endurance. Magic may be a muscle of sorts, but pushing yourself beyond your natural reserves, more often than not, does more harm than good. ‘Just ten more head’ I tried to tell myself.
As the last heifer cleared the river, I ran out of juice. My magic faltered, sputtered, and finally stopped, and with that went the arch. I’d planned to slowly ease it back, so as to reduce the effect of the water hitting me again. As it was, the water that was going over dropped on me like a tidal wave, and combined with the return of the strong current, knocked me off my hooves. For a few sickening seconds, I was under the water, too disorientated to swim. Luckily, a moment later, I felt some strong hooves grab my own, and I was bodily pulled from the river and back onto the bank.
Landing on the soft grass, I let out a cough as I did my best to get my bearings again. I was lying on my front, having been pulled from the river. Behind me, the herd, along with Granny, AB and Sugar Belle had gathered on the opposite bank. In front of me meanwhile stood Big Mac, who oddly, looked a little displeased. I assumed he had pulled me out.
“Thanks, Mac,” I said, too exhausted to notice his expression. “Did the herd all get through? And where’s Applejack?”
“Down here,” she said as her brother snorted in disapproval.
That was when I realised I wasn’t resting on grass, I was straddling a somewhat amused looking Applejack. I guess that explains why Mac looked a little annoyed; big brothers for you. Our eyes met.
“Oh...hey,” I said awkwardly.
“Hey yourself, sugarcube,” she replied with a grin. “As much as I like bein’ the one pinned down for a change. I think you might wanna get off me before Big Mac loses his cool.”
Blushing up to my ears, I scrambled back to my feet and did my best to put some distance between me and Big Mac.
From there, the three of us crossed the river to join up with everypony else. They were all impressed by the feat I’d managed to pull off. And Sugar Belle managed to get her boyfriend to ease off, pointing out that it was just physics and his sister’s incredible strength that left me and AJ in our uncompromising position. Still, I’m no better with Lizzie around Dewdrop, so I’ve no right to throw stones. And Mac is a lot more accepting of me now than when AJ and I first started going out.
With the herd across the river, they were turned loose to do as they pleased. They’d still provide milk to the farm of course, but we’d only be seeing them every now and then, instead of being around them in the sheds every day. The large creatures even jumped in excitement at being out on the open range again.
With the herding complete, the six of us recrossed the river again and headed back for home, the warm spring sun helping to dry our coats.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
So, a little more action this time around. I found myself re-reading 'The Log of a Cowboy' the other week and got to thinking about what the Apples do with the sheep and cattle we've seen on the farm.
Speaking of, where do you guys stand on the whole cattle vs ponies debate? Is it slavery, symbiosis, or just something that Hasbro execs didn't think through and now we're all overanalysing?
My breaths came in sudden starting gasps. The brown paper bag wasn’t helping much, and I was acutely aware of the worried looks I was getting from, well, pretty much everypony around me. Apple Bloom, being the youngest, looked the most worried, but both Big Mac and AJ looked concerned, with the latter tenderly rubbing my shoulder and doing her best to calm me down.
“It’s okay, sugarcube,” she said soothingly. “Just breathe and you’ll be fine.” I managed to pull my head up for a few moments and get a few words out at a time.
“Fine?” I asked, before resuming the huffing and puffing. The crinkling of the paper bag was getting irritating.
“The princesses know what they’re doin’,” AJ went on. I wasn’t about to let that side.
“Celestia,” I said breathlessly.
Another drag on the paper bag.
“Has completely.”
Another.
“Lost her.”
And another.
“Mind!” I exclaimed. “Only explanation!”
That stringing of words together caused me to start feeling more than a little faint, and I was soon back to happily hyperventilating.
I’m not normally one given to panic attacks. Don’t get me wrong, I get scared plenty, to the point that I’d say, much to my discredit, I can be quite cowardly at times, but I hadn’t been like this since I was a little kid. What was causing it you ask? Well, allow me to turn the clock back about a few hours or so and I’ll tell you.
It all started early that morning. Applejack and I were going on a sweep around the farm, checking the fences, as well as checking in on the new saplings that we’d planted to replace those lost to that storm back in April. As we rolled on into May, the weather had really begun to warm up as summer bore down on us. Back home, this was when I’d need to start taking my hayfever medication, as I prepared for about nine weeks of moderate to massive discomfort thanks to a malfunctioning immune system. Here though, I could quite happily enjoy the smell of freshly cut grass, help with the hay cutting, and even pick flowers for my marefriend, without reducing myself to a snot nosed and all but blind mess.
Above us the birds were tweeting their songs, a soft wind flitted through the trees, complimenting the sound of the laughing brook nearby. All seemed right with the world.
At least until Twilight Sparkle teleported directly in front of us. She had that look in her eye. She was ‘Twilighting’. Pinkie came up with the term, and at this point, it’s all but in the Oxcolt Ponish Dictionary. Twilighting describes the time whenever Twilight gets herself stressed about something, usually fairly minor, be that sending a friendship report, returning a library book late, going out on the town with her friends, or being asked to help Shining and Cadence save the Crystal Empire. Whenever Twilight is Twilighting, the only thing you can do is pray to Celestia that it’s not you she’s interested in. And as luck would have it, I might as well have been invisible to her; Applejack was her target. We both stopped dead in our tracks as the manic looking alicorn appeared in our path.
“Applejack!” Twilight exclaimed, grabbing her by the foreleg. “Quick. We have to get to Canterlot! The princesses need us! Come on! There’s no time to waste!”
Applejack however, is not a mare to be rushed. Using her superior strength, she managed to extract herself from her excited friend’s grip.
“Now just hold on a minute here, Twilight,” she said, keeping her voice calm and even like she was talking to a frightened deer. “What did the princesses say they needed?” This served to only further unsettle the already unsettled Twilight.
“The letter doesn’t say,” she said in a worried tone. “It just said that we all need to come to Canterlot right away. It could be anything. What if they only had time to send that short message before whatever danger they were facing attacked? Canterlot could be burning at this very moment!”
Applejack raised an eyebrow at that. You could after all, see that Canterlot wasn’t burning, or under any kind of attack of any kind. The city was peaceful as ever. But when Twilight’s Twilighting, logic doesn’t really tend to work on her.
“Alright, I’ll be with you in ten minutes,” Applejack said after a pregnant pause. “Let me and Bones just finish up repairin’ the fences and then...”
That was as far as she got before Twilight snapped.
“There’s no time! Come on!” she bellowed in her own version of the Royal Canterlot Voice.
She then grabbed Applejack again, and the pair vanished in a teleport. I, despite having been barely two foot away, had been unaffected by the proceedings, apart from being damn near blinded by the flash of the teleport. I gave it a moment or two, but it soon became clear neither Applejack or Twilight were coming back any time soon.
“Alright,” I grumbled to myself. “I guess I’ll mend the fences on my own then. Thanks, Twilight.”
I knew that they’d be back in about twenty minutes or so. That’s usually how long these things took, for obvious reasons. Although having said that, I couldn’t help but be slightly worried. Ever since we got here, at least ever since Starlight was reformed, I’ve tried to ‘count the episodes’ as it were. I doubt I’m in the show, or even mentioned for that matter, but like it or not, I am in the world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and every now and then, we get a friendship problem or some incident involving Twilight and her friends. Even less frequently, we get some yahoo trying to take over the world. I’ve taken to counting these events, and when I get to twenty four, I know we’re probably in for a finale. Well, that had come and gone with Equestria’s most adorable sociopath. Now I was waiting for the start of the next season.
And this may well be it.
I decided to wait until AJ got back from wherever she was going. Typically, opening episodes weren’t too rough. The bad guys tended to come out to play at the finales. Still, depending on what my marefriend had to say when she got back, it might well be time to batten down the hatches for a while.
Applejack actually wasn’t gone too long, and got back to the farm a little after lunch. And boy did she have some news. She came and told me when I was checking some of the apple trees for any sign of disease. I looked up as I heard her hoof-beats on the ground.
“Oh, AJ, you’re back,” I said with a little relief in my voice. “How was Canterlot? You find out what the princesses want?” Applejack nodded with an amused grin.
“You ain’t gonna believe this, Bones,” she said. “But the princesses called us all up there, because they’re retiring.”
My world came to a screeching halt. Applejack then delivered the knockout.
“And they want Twilight to take over.”
With that, my world shattered.
I won’t bore you too much with the embarrassing details of what happened next. I cantered through the five stages. Firstly, I denied it, saying that it had to be some sort of joke or trick on Celestia’s part. She had done as much not so long ago when Pinkie put on a show to celebrate her 1,111th year of raising the sun. She wouldn’t just step down like that. Then I got angry, saying that Celestia had gone mad, demanding to know what in Equestria she was thinking, giving the throne to someone so neurotic? Then came bargaining, as I decided to head up there myself, to talk to both of them, and help them see reason. Then there was depression, and the general belief on my part that we were all doomed. Finally, acceptance. Well, acceptance that I’d lost my mind, because with that, I started hyperventilating.
Applejack had gotten me back to the farmhouse, draped over her back no less, since I could barely walk. The whole Apple family had gathered around, with Granny Smith giving me a paper bag to try and re-regulate my breathing. Ten minutes or so had passed and I was beginning to calm down.
“So when...when is this whole thing happening then?” I asked. “How long before Princess Celestia and Princess Luna abdicate?” Applejack tried to redirect me.
“Don’t worry about that right now, sugarcube,” she said soothingly. “Just relax for a bit. They didn’t say when we were up there. But these things take loads of time.”
I was seconds from calming down and coming back to Equestria. But then Apple Bloom, like all small children entrusted with an important secret, piped up.
“I thought you said they were doin’ the ceremony at the end of the week, Applejack?” she said.
There was a moment of silence while my brain processed this fascinating new titbit of information.
“I thought you were the Element of Honesty”, I said bitterly. Then I went back to inhaling a bag, only this time, much faster.
A few hours later, I was in bed, trying to somehow get to sleep. But the knowledge I now had was doing a brilliant job at preventing that. My stomach was in knots, I felt like I might throw up at any moment. My mind was running a mile a minute, trying to find some way to explain what was going on, or to work out what to do about it. But there was nothing.
It didn’t make sense! Celestia and Luna had ruled in one way or another for over a millennia. They couldn’t just up and leave in one week; there’d be chaos! And what had caused this sudden decision. I know they’d been through something of the wringer, subjected to the Worf Effect as they were when evil reared its ugly head. Did they doubt their ability to lead Equestria? That was nonsense! Anypony would tell you the princesses were fine rulers who had led Equestria into an age of harmony. How could Twilight possibly replace them? Sure she’d saved Equestria more times than I care to remember, and yes, she is remarkably intelligent and magically gifted. But given that we’d had pretty much identical reactions to the news, how could they possibly think she was qualified?
Twilight, you see, is a bit like Churchill. Through the war, he was a great leader, who led us through our darkest hour. But the second the Nazis hauled down their colours, he was given the boot. Twilight was good at defeating the bad guys, wielding the Elements of Harmony with her friends, and teaching others the magic of friendship. But I couldn’t imagine her dealing with all the court intrigue, diplomacy, and all the social graces that came with running a nation. She lacks the experience of Celestia, Luna, or even Cadence when it comes to politics.
And then there was the effect it would have on all of us. She’d have to move away to Canterlot. What about the school and her castle here in Ponyville? What about the map and the friendship missions? There was so much that I simply couldn’t find an answer for.
Irritably, I tossed and turned in my bed, vainly trying to will myself to sleep. But my mind just wouldn’t stop whirring, my stomach wouldn’t stop twisting itself, and I couldn’t stop worrying about what the morning might bring.
Oh God. How the hay was Twilight going to raise the sun and the moon?
With that final straw, I threw off the covers and began to pace around irritably. Maybe walking I could tire myself out.
Thirty minutes later, at about half past two, I found that that didn’t work. Well, there was only one thing for it.
Crossing the room to my desk, I reached up with my magic and took down a modest size tome. Turning to the relevant section, I soon found what I was looking for. Sleep spells do exist. They’re meant to only be used by properly licensed medical practitioners. But I needed sleep now, and didn’t fancy tramping all the way down to Ponyville General. The spell didn’t look too difficult, although it was a bit unorthodox to perform it on yourself. Still, as a wise orangutan once said; ‘how hard can it be?’.
Powering up my horn, I weaved the spell around myself. It should work a bit like taking a sleeping tablet. You use the spell, then you have a minute to climb back into bed. That didn’t happen. What happened was I overcooked it like a moron, and pretty much flashed my brain’s BIOS. It was more like getting sapped on the side of the head. My vision went white for a moment, and the next thing I knew, I was a heap on the floor, out cold.
When I came to again, I found myself still splayed out in a heap, only I’d gone from being on my face in my own room, to being on my face in the amazingly beautiful world of the dreaming realm. Around me was a never ending, mesmerizing pattern of stars, nebulae, and a strange road of stardust underfoot. That however, wasn’t of too much interest to me, although I have always found the place to be beautiful. What was more interesting was the pair of dark blue legs in front of me, clad in glass horseshoes. Looking up, these legs led up to an obsidian metal chest piece, emblazoned with a crescent moon, and finally, above that, was the face of Princess Luna.
She had something between a smile and a look of mild concern on her face; the look somepony has when they’ve seen someone in the same state more times than they care to remember. As I regained consciousness, such as it was, considering I was sleeping, she broke out a somewhat teasing smile.
“I don’t recall you attending the Royal College of Medicine, my friend,” she said, with an ‘I told you so’ tone in her voice. “Sleeping spells are awfully easy to overpower, particularly when one only has a passing knowledge of the spell.”
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t sleep,” I replied in an informal tone. While she might be princess in the waking world, here, Luna was, to everypony, more of a confidant and friend.
With some effort, I hauled myself back onto my hooves. While I might be dreaming, my brain helpfully simulated the effects of waking up after being knocked out cold. Eventually, I got into something that mirrored the sitting position Luna had adopted.
“So tell me, Blade Star,” she went on. “What precisely caused you to desire sleep so much that you were willing to risk putting yourself in a coma from which you might never awaken to do it?”
Her tone wasn’t angry, or even disappointed. She was concerned, worried even, with a gentle undercurrent of maternal protectiveness. Like Celestia, Luna does care deeply for all her subjects, hence why she patrols their dreams every night, helping them fight off nightmares and confront the problems that face them in the waking world. If Celestia was Equestria’s mother, then Luna was the big sister everypony looked up to for advice.
“I couldn’t get to sleep,” I repeated. “My mind’s been going a mile a minute ever since Applejack told me what you and Celestia are planning. What in Equestria is going on, Luna? Why are you abdicating?”
“Why does it concern you?” she asked. Her tone wasn’t accusatory; it was a genuine question.
“It concerns me,” I replied. “Because you are the rightful rulers of Equestria, and you’re talking about handing things over to a mare that’s terrified of quesadillas! The pair of you retiring will cause massive political upheaval. For goodness sake, Luna, who’s going to protect ponies’ dreams, or raise the sun and the moon? Twilight is many things, including a good leader, but she’s not up to ruling a country.”
“Is that all?” Luna asked, again in a neutral tone. “You don’t think there might be something more basic behind your fear?”
“I’d say fear of having no leader is basic enough,” I replied.
Luna got to her hooves and turned around before gesturing for me to follow her.
“Come,” she said. “Let’s you and I take a walk together.”
Getting to my hooves, I followed her, walking alongside the taller mare. She led the two of us along the winding path of the dreamscape.
“Blade Star,” she said, after a moment. “Do you remember how you felt when Twilight announced her intention to open a school?”
“Sure,” I replied. “I thought she was nuts.”
“And when she decided to take on young Starlight Glimmer, her former nemesis, as her pupil?”
“Again, I figured it was a bad idea.”
“And you feel the same way about my and my sister’s decision to abdicate the throne, naming her our lawful successor.”
I paused for a moment. I am honoured to call Luna a friend, and I am permitted certain liberties that she does not extend to other ponies. But I wasn’t about to call her crazy.
“I feel that it’s...ill advised,” I said after a moment. “Particularly only allowing a single week for the transition of power.”
“I see,” she said calmly. “But tell me, Blade Star, do you still think that Twilight was wrong to take on Starlight as her pupil, or open the School of Friendship?”
“No, of course not,” I replied.
“Is it not possible then, that you may be just as inclined to change your opinion regarding my retirement?”
“It’s not that same, Luna!” I said, a little crossly.
“On the contrary, I think it is exactly the same. All these views are linked to a common denominator, and a perfectly common one amongst ponies; fear of the unknown. You do not know what will happen, and that unsettles you.”
I couldn’t help but agree with that statement. Humans, like ponies, naturally fear the unknown and that which they do not understand. Luna continued.
“I’ve known you for some time, my friend. I know that accepting change does not come easily to you. And I understand how such a drastic change might be alarming, even upsetting for you.”
Again, she’d read me like a book. One of my biggest faults is that I don’t cope with change well. I’m a creature of habit, of routine. I like having a set routine, knowing what I’m doing and what’s going to be happening. Disruptions to that routine annoy me, and can sometimes cause me a bit of anxiety. It’s one of the reasons that I enjoyed living the quiet life I did on Sweet Apple Acres; where everything was reasonably predictable, with just enough variety to keep things interesting. While others might find it tedious, I enjoyed the comfortable routines of the days, weeks, and months. And now, that pleasant routine was going right out the window and down the toilet.
I let out a soft sigh as we walked together. A moment later, I looked up at my friend and sometimes mentor.
“I don’t want things to change,” I said softly. Luna said nothing, so I continued “I found myself living this peaceful, idyllic life. And for the first year or so, I lulled myself into this fantasy that it would always be this way. I’d live on Sweet Apple Acres, spend time with my folks and little sister, help Apple Bloom with her schoolwork, all these silly little things.
“But one day it’s all going to be over. Mom and Dad will pass, so will Granny Smith, Winona, Angel Bunny. Everypony will get older. Apple Bloom will grow up, maybe move out. It will all change, everything will be different, and never quite the same. The only constant, the one thing that I knew, knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, was that you and Celestia would always be around, looking after us all and guiding us. Now, even that’s gone. And I just don’t want that change.”
Luna smiled and gently laid a comforting wing over my back. Sitting down, she pulled me into a hug, my head resting softly against her chest. A comforting foreleg wrapped around me.
“We cannot stop change, my child,” she said softly. “And the world would be a far duller place without it. The world you seek to preserve is a product of a thousand changes. Your parents were once children themselves. Granny Smith was once but a young mare starting her own family. There was a time when Applejack and Fluttershy did not know of their beloved pets. If there was no change, the world you know would not exist, nothing would. The world would just be a dull, still life, hardly worth living.
“Think of it, if nothing changed again from now on, how long would it be before things grew stagnant? Children going to school year after year, the same ponies seeing the same ponies day in day out, nothing new, nothing exciting. I would call that Tartarus.
“But I understand how you feel, Blade Star. When I first returned to Equestria, everything was different. The cities, the ponies, the language; everything had changed, and I felt like a stranger in my own kingdom. For the longest time, I sought to turn back the clock. I kept on using the royal we, the Royal Canterlot Voice, and living as I had done a thousand years ago. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t turn back time, and my actions only served to isolate me from my fellow ponies. It wasn’t until I once again crossed paths with a certain young unicorn that I finally began to embrace this new world. And do you know something? I liked it. It was not the world that I once knew, true, but nor was it anything to fear. In fact, it was my own fear that brought me misery.”
She stopped walking as we came to a sort of rise in the terrain, overlooking the dreams of dozens of ponies.
“So, I should just ‘go with the flow’ you think?” I asked. Luna nodded.
“It will cause you far less distress than what you are doing now,” she replied. “You are basing all your thoughts on the assumption that change is inherently bad. Why not approach the situation from the opposite angle?”
I pondered what Luna had said. She had hit the nail square on the head. I had had a sort of knee jerk reaction. It had been the same when Twilight took on Starlight, when she got her new castle, or even, if we turn the clock back to before I came here, to when she became an alicorn. And she was right. I was coming at this by assuming that all change was bad. Still, it was difficult to set aside the feeling of the world dropping out from under me that the news of the abdication had brought.
“Why did you decide to abdicate anyway?” I asked Luna curiously. “You’ve only been back from exile for a few years. Ain’t it a bit early to throw in the towel?” Luna tittered at that.
“If you recall, Blade Star,” she said. “I did rule Equestria for a little over a century before that alongside my sister . And she has held the reins for over ten centuries now. When one is immortal, a life of duty can seem like an endless tunnel. We have been rulers for long enough. We would both like to be ponies again.”
It was good to get that straight from the horse’s mouth, if you’ll excuse the pun.
“You know, a part of me thought that it was just Celestia that wanted to step down, and was just dragging you along with her.” Luna smiled.
“Actually, I was the one who first brought the subject up a couple of months ago. I assure you, Blade Star, the both of us have carefully weighed our decision, and have been just as careful in choosing a successor. Besides, it isn’t as if we shan’t be on hoof should Twilight Sparkle ever have need of us. I can assure you we won’t be throwing her to the lions and jetting off to some tropical island. It will be a drastic change, but I know we can all come to terms with it.”
The world now shifted slightly as my dream began to destabilise.
“Ah, it looks like morning is upon us,” Luna said. “Remember what I said, Blade Star. I guarantee you, that in a month’s time, you will be perfectly content with the new state of affairs. Now please take care, waking up from a magic induced sleep can be rather uncomfortable.”
And with that, the world went black, and I found myself waking up. Little did I know how soon I was to wish that I’d gotten that guarantee in writing
Luna wasn’t kidding about waking up. I’d never gotten particularly drunk in my life, but I figured this was what a bad hangover felt like. Having fallen asleep on the floor, my whole body now had a dull ache to it. Stretching my hind legs a touch, I felt a sharp pain shoot up them as the cramped muscles tried to move. The same thing happened with my forelegs. I’d been drooling too, and one side of my face now had a sticky mess on it. I didn’t feel particularly rested, although looking at the clock, I’d gotten a good eight hours of sleep.
I let out a low groan as I took on the difficult task of getting up. Again, my muscles throbbed and my joints clicked and cracked. I took a look around. My bed needed making, and the room was pretty dark with the curtains still drawn. Calling on my magic, I managed to get my bed in order. I then made the fatal mistake of opening the curtains.
Whether by design or just cruel fate, the sun was perfectly positioned this early in the morning, to stream sunlight right into my eyes. There was one terrible moment as my pupils desperately contracted, before the pain kicked in again.
“Argh!” I exclaimed, clamping my eyes shut and looking away from the morning light. “Dammit!”
Blinking a few times, my eyes slowly adjusted again. I did my best to rub the sleep out with a hoof. I had no doubt that I looked like Hell right about now. So rather than startling everypony else and make them think I’d died and reanimated in the night, I headed across the hall to the bathroom for a much needed shower, shave, and to brush my teeth.
The warm water helped bring me back to life, and made me look a little more presentable. After drying myself off and bushing my coat down, I also did my best to trim back my beard. As weird as it sounds, stallions do grow beards, the hair grows through your hide around your mouth and chin the same colour as your mane and tail. So I currently had a dark blue five o’clock shadow. I did consider a while back actually letting it grow into a sort of muzzle or goatee, but Applejack didn’t much care for it and it didn’t really fit my face. Besides, the iron rule when it comes to cowboy stories is that the guys with beards are evil.
After that, I brushed my teeth and managed to get my mouth to feel like something other than sandpaper. Plus I’d hate to kill anypony at ten paces with bog breath. Taking a look at myself in the mirror, I took one last stab at getting my mane in order. I was getting due for a trim anyway. Maybe later I’d head down to the spa and see Aloe or Lotus. Satisfied that I looked equine again, I headed downstairs, running into Applejack in the hallway. She too had just gotten up. She still had her mane down, and it hung loose around her shoulders. I found myself thankful that I wasn’t a pegasus.
“Oh, mornin’, Applejack,” I said in a now more chipper voice. “How are you doin’?”
“I’ll let you know when I’ve got some coffee in me,” she replied tiredly. “How ‘bout you? You seem less...er...”
“Neurotic?” I offered. “Had a chance to talk with Princess Luna last night; helped me get some things a bit straighter in my head. Still can’t quite believe it though.”
“You and me both, sugarcube,” AJ agreed.
“Want me to get started on breakfast?” I offered. Granny Smith was still snoring, and I hadn’t seen any sign of Big Mac.
“Well, that’s awful nice of you, Bones,” Applejack said, in a tone of pleasant surprise.
“Least I can do after all that nonsense I put you folks through yesterday,” I replied, now feeling a touch embarrassed at my near mental breakdown.”
Applejack headed into the bathroom, and I heard the shower start. For the briefest moment, I considered being a bit spontaneous and following her inside. After all, nopony else was about, and last time she’d been the one to walk in on me. In the end though, I decided against it, given how tired AJ had looked, and trotted downstairs to make breakfast. And before you call me an idiot that’s either blind or dead inside, trust me, unless you have a deathwish you don’t come between Applejack and her morning coffee.
My morning was looking to be reasonably busy today. As we rolled around into May, it would soon be time for the apple trees to shed their blossoms and start producing the beginnings of apples for the autumn. Already the trees were a beautiful mix of greens and the soft pink of the apple blossoms.
But with all this beauty, there also came some dangers. Caterpillars and moths were the big worries at this time of year. These insects, particularly the former, could do real damage to the trees, particularly damaging the leaves. You also had to check the trunks for signs of insects burrowing in to do damage internally. To combat this threat, we’d hang pheromone traps in a number of trees. These would be covered in pheromones designed to lure insects to the traps, usually ones that involved mating, or encouraged an aggressive response. The moths would then find themselves caught. It wouldn’t stop the problem completely; no amount of trapping can do that, but it would reduce their numbers and also stunt any potential offspring. It would do enough damage to ensure that those that did survive wouldn’t be able to do any major damage to the apple trees.
Of course, Sweet Apple Acres is a pretty large place, and that meant a whole lot of pheromone traps to hang. My magic would make things a bit faster, but a few thousand trees is still a few thousand trees.
In addition to that, we also needed to start training the limbs of young trees, that is to say, cutting them in such a way as to ensure they grew to have more fruit bearing branches and spread out enough to ensure all the trees got plenty of sunlight. And we grafted tree branches of the best fruit bearing trees onto trees that were sturdy but didn’t produce enough fruit. (It’s why there were different colours of apples on the same trees).
All it all, a lot of work to do, so it was a case of all hooves on deck. AJ and I would take one section, Big Mac another, and Granny Smith and Apple Bloom would take the last third of the farm. Well, that was the plan at least, as it turned out, barely two hours in, we would find ourselves a mare down.
Things first started to kick off when we were about a third of the way through our section of the orchards.
It was getting on for lunch, and I’d promised Apple Bloom that I’d teach her to make sloosh; an odd cornbread sort of food whose recipe I’d picked up when I dabbled in battle re-enactments, spending time in the camps of the Army of Tennessee. I’d had to modify it a little to compensate for equine tastes. The original recipe called for cornmeal, which was one of the few things readily available in a country that was compelled to stretch limited coffee supplies with chicory or peanuts, along with the fat from frying bacon or pork rations. You then mixed these into something resembling a dough, rolled it into a snake, wrapped it around the ramrod of your rifle and cooked it over a fire.
Obviously, I couldn’t get my hooves on bacon. Quite against my social obligations as a millennial male, I couldn’t stand the stuff even before I became a pony. Instead, I used a mixture of butter, water and an egg to help bind the cornmeal together. And while Equestria has yet to develop true firearms outside of muzzle loading cannons (yet paradoxically still has the concept of a tank), I was able to substitute the rifle and attendant ramrod for a solid stick. Cooking was but little different from toasting marshmallows, albeit a little more tricky.
That however, could wait until lunch time. Right now, we had traps to hang. Applejack and I were working methodically through the orchard, when I picked up the sound of a jet engine, signalling that a pegasus was in close proximity. AJ heard it too, and looking skyward, we soon spotted the source. Rainbow Dash was tearing Hell for leather across the skies, and all but screaming her friend’s name.
“Applejack! We need to go! Now!”
“Down here, Rainbow!” AJ called back, cupping her mouth with both hooves to throw the sound further.
Rainbow quickly side slipped down and landed with a near bounce. She looked more than a little rattled. Here we go again…
“What’s the trouble, kimosabe?” I asked her. Her next words actually caught me by surprise.
“King Sombra’s attacking the Crystal Empire!” she exclaimed. “Princess Cadence managed to get a letter to Twilight, but he’s taken over the castle and the whole city. He’s keeping them all prisoner.”
My mind instantly flew to Flurry Heart.
“He’s what?!” I exclaimed. “He’s dead! I watched that son of a...” I remembered a long forgotten Chekov's gun. “Of course, that damn horn fragment! AJ, go! I’ll tell you later. I’ll find the others and let them know what’s going on.”
Applejack didn’t need telling twice, and she quickly set off at a gallop, with Rainbow flying alongside her as fast as Applejack could run.
I meanwhile, as is often the case, now had little to do. Well, there wasn’t anything I could do really, was there? A part of me, quite possibly my ego, wanted to go with AJ and the others, head up to the Empire, kill Sombra, properly this time. I had a good theory about how he’d come back, but my mind, as when AJ had told me the news about the princesses was now filled with questions. How had he brought himself back? Why didn’t the Crystal Heart stop him? What did he want with the Empire? What was the condition of Shining and Cadence, to say nothing of Flurry Heart? My mind came to a dark conclusion. Could he be after Equestria’s youngest alicorn? The trouble with Sombra is that we never learnt much about why he did what he did. His motivation was, and remains to this day, a mystery to me.
This was what annoyed me; being unable to act, not knowing what was going on. I felt...well...helpless. And I don’t like feeling helpless.
Of course, on the bright side, Sombra was as good as defeated already. Right now, Twilight and the others would be rushing to the Everfree to get the Elements of Harmony. I don’t care what dark magic Sombra has access to; nopony, not even Discord, survives a rainbow to the face. His unexpected comeback, while it would undoubtedly be traumatic for all concerned, was still fated to end in his downfall. The only question was how long he’d last.
That knowledge helped to reassure me. Whatever might happen, nopony is going to die, and by the end, everything will be back to normal, or maybe even a little better. Who knows, maybe they’ll even have a go at reforming him. As vile and twisted as Sombra is, I still wouldn’t mind having a chat with him. Provided he has a bite mask on and comes wheeled in on a dolly wrapped in a straight jacket, so that as soon as he steps out of line I can tell the boys to ‘take this thing back to Baltimare’.
So I set myself the task of finding Big Mac, Granny and Apple Bloom and letting them know what was happening. I was fairly confident that this would all be wrapped up pretty quickly. I was even planning on having some sloosh ready for when Applejack got back.
Yeah, turns out things would get a little more tricky than that. I should have realised that it all seemed too easy. I should have paid more attention in the sweat.
I was right in that it didn’t take Twilight and the others too long to put Sombra in his place. He’d managed, by virtue of a surprise attack, to catch the crystal ponies off guard, and prevented them from uniting to fire off the Crystal Heart. His revived form also made him a lot more dangerous, and neither Shining or Cadence alone were much of a match for him. Worse still, he made use of those mind control helmets Twilight had seen during her brief exploration of various alternate timelines. He used these to turn their own guards against them. Shining and Cadence had little choice but to surrender. If nothing else, to protect Flurry Heart. That sick bastard broke into her nursery and threatened her as a final coup de grace. He then proceeded to sit himself on the throne, build a little cell for the rightful rulers, and then gloat like the generic twit he is, with a compromised Crystal Heart suspended above him.
That lasted right up until the moment Twilight and the others burst in. Just as he had nigh effortlessly overtaken the city, the girls now subjected him to a curbstomp battle. He was dumb enough to actually try and pull the same trick twice, trying to pull them all into their worst fears to stop them from using the Elements. That however, didn’t work for long. Twilight in particular easily overcame the bland deception. And while Sombra was busy gloating and cackling his head off, Spike sneaked around and freed Shining, Cadence and Flurry. With them out of the line of fire, the girls hit him with the Elements. The resultant wave of harmony annihilated Sombra, this time seeming to vaporise him, with no horn fragment flying off screen, as well as destroying all the mind control helmets, freeing the captured ponies, and destroying the odd obsidian crystals he seemed compelled to throw up everywhere.
With that, the Crystal Empire was saved. Even by normal episode standards it was a quick turn around. Real time, Sombra only held the Empire for about an hour or so, basically however long it took the girls to get up there. I knew it was all over when the Crystal Heart fired off again, sending the beautiful rainbow streamers; Aurora Amorealis, to use the proper term, as far south as Dodge Junction.
The whole affair was so damn short that I didn’t actually have a chance to find anypony else to let them know what was going on. I couldn’t help but chuckle and shake my head. Sombra, by far and away, with the exception of perhaps Cozy, was the least actually dangerous villain in MLP. Menacing, true, but he posed a very limited threat.
That mindset lasted right up until Twilight and the others returned, and placed the Elements back in the branches of the Tree of Harmony. It turned out Sombra wasn’t as stupid as he looked, and somehow, managed to dodge the Elements’ fire. What appeared to be disintegration, was actually cleverly disguised teleportation. Even Celestia couldn’t pull that off.
How did I know he was still kicking? Simple, I felt the effects of his actions. When Twilight replaced the Elements in the Tree, Sombra made his move, stabbing the tree with one of his own crystals, destroying it, and the Elements outright.
As a unicorn, I have the ability to sense magic, just as I can smell, hear, and taste things that are otherwise invisible. My own studies in magic have heightened this sensitivity. So the death of the Tree of Harmony...well, it was like a hammer blow. I felt as though the wind was knocked out of me and I staggered where I was, eventually having to lean on a nearby tree just to stay upright. In other words, I felt a great disturbance in the Force. I hadn’t seen what happened, but I still knew. That was when I started to worry. Without the Elements, we were in deep trouble.
And as before, my mind began to fill with questions. It should be impossible to destroy the Tree. It was omniscient. How else could it provide information on friendship problems or have provided that clever little lockbox? It surely must have known what was going to happen. But what I felt wasn’t some feint or trick. I felt that ancient magical being in its death throes.
Things quickly got worse. Sombra announced his new, equally mental plan to invade Equestria proper, starting with Ponyville. Above me, the sky turned an acrid brown as the dark magic began to take root. I needed to find the others, warn them. With luck, I might just have a fighting chance to protect them. I’d studied changeling mind control spells in the past, and developed workable counters to them. That meant I ought to be able to resist Sombra’s mind control spells. I just had to avoid showing him fear; fear gave him power. I had to push my panic and alarm down, turn grief into anger.
Of course, that was easier said than done, and like it or not, I was panicking. Sombra had gone from an annoyance to a serious threat in one fell swoop. But as I galloped along in search of my friends, I still held onto the hope that he would be beaten. This was going to be a rough ride, sure, but Sombra still wouldn’t last.
Of course, I had little concern with Sombra. His downfall was in the hooves of Twilight, her friends, and the princesses. I was looking more to just ride out the storm. However, as I came out of the orchards and into one of the open fields, I found myself curiously thrust into centre stage.
With little warning, the acrid clouds above me began to spew out a thin column of dark, smoke like shadow. It touched down on the ground in front of me, about ten feet or so from me. The column quickly coalesced into a sphere, and a moment later, receded entirely, leaving me face to face with Sombra. He was around Luna’s height, maybe a little taller, mainly due to having longer than average legs, which gave him a sort of lanky appearance. He looked much the same as I remembered from the show; grey coat, black mane, iron chest piece, and a dark red robe. The only thing that was a little different, was that his eyes currently didn’t have the odd purple vapour pouring from them, nor were the whites of his eyes a light green. Instead, he looked a little more equine, with deep red irises. He smiled at me in a cruel way, showing off fangs that would be considered odd even on a thestral. It was then that he first spoke to me.
“Well, if it isn’t Roger’s little colt,” he said. “I think it’s time you joined the ranks of your new king’s army.”
His voice surprised me a little. I remembered with no small amount of dread the deep, malevolent voice that he had previously. And though he was a stallion of few words, that had not left my mind. Now though, he sounded different. I’d almost say...petulant, cocky, arrogant. He sounded younger, reminding me, believe it or not, of Blueblood. In a way it made him almost comical. His mention of my dad though unsettled me plenty. How could he know him, never mind me?
I later learned that he and Dad had cultivated a Hannibal/Will Graham style relationship. Sombra didn’t die when he was defeated the first time. Instead, he wound up in Tartarus, where my Dad met him. He escaped when Cozy drained Equestria’s magic.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not brave. I’m no coward either though, and by this time, I was remembering just how Sombra had screwed himself. He was a dead stallion walking really. At best, he had another twenty minutes left to live. So you’ll forgive me if I too, got a bit cocky.
“And if I say no?” I asked bluntly, standing my ground and taking a fighting stance, something which only made Sombra smile.
“Oh, come now, don’t you want to join the rest of your friends?” he asked.
The same shadows as before now appeared behind him, and from them did indeed come my friends. He had Granny, Big Mac, and even little Apple Bloom. But worse, I saw my mother and little sister. Their eyes were all the same; an unearthly green, with blank expressions. It was clear that they weren’t in control of their actions. Sombra was just using them as puppets. I felt anger flare up inside me, overwhelming the fear I was feeling. I snorted and narrowed my eyes at Sombra.
“Or do I have to force you?” he went on with a cruel smile.
When you threaten my mother, my little sister, and a filly who is like a daughter to me, to say nothing of the ponies I call family, my mind tends to flip a switch somewhere. My fear suddenly began to evaporate, replaced instead by a quiet fury. Sod show canon, TV-Y, Twilight’s destiny, and anything else. I was going to kill him. Slowly, I began to close the distance between us. If I knew one thing about Sombra, it was that he had an ego, and I could goad him into a mistake.
“You come in strength,” I said coldly. “Do you need all these to overcome me?”
Sombra let out a snarl. I’d touched a nerve and thrown down the gauntlet. Now we’d see if he’d pick it up. A moment later though, he recovered himself, and let out a dark chuckle.
“You really think a little colt like you can stand against the likes of me?” he asked incredulously.
“Seems that way,” I replied, flashing a grin back at him.
“Very well.”
With that Sombra made his move.
He first tried to entrap me, summoning several dagger-like crystals from the ground. I half jumped and half rolled out of the way. This seemed to be his primary method of attack. He relied on his magic. Skidding on the soft grass, I let fly with my own magic; a simple stun spell. It hit him square, but he easily shielded himself. This wasn’t a fair fight. I was definitely at a disadvantage. The only thing in my favour was that he hadn’t employed his new minions against me. My friends and family simply stood by, watching us without emotion.
The two of us closed with each other and began to circle, like two lions looking for an opening. He had every advantage over me, in both power and skill. But while I might be out-manned, outgunned and out-equipped, I still had guile. I had to fight smart, not hard.
Activating my magic, I performed a quick teleport. I can just about do them, but it’s a rare spell for unicorns to know. And Sombra wasn’t expecting it. Appearing behind him and to the side, I went to grab him around the neck with one hoof, and pulled on his horn with another, disrupting his magic. Sombra however, quickly rolled and threw me off. I barely had time to get out of the way of his own magic blast.
“Good try, boy,” he snarled. “But not good enough.” He was trying to rattle me.
“I’m just getting started,” I snarked back.
I hurled another bolt of magic at him, which he again easily deflected. His magic, as much as pains me to say it, was far stronger than mine, and I had no hope of breaking his defence. However, I’ve always been a great believer in that old phrase ‘if it bleeds, you can kill it’. His shield might stop magic, but I knew such things couldn’t always stop physical attacks. Why not turn his favourite weapon against him.
I’d studied crystal magic myself. The variant he was using was based around dark magic, hence the black obsidian colour and the effect they had on the world around them. But Cadence had also used something similar, summoning crystals to shut off a water main in Canterlot during the Royal Summit. That was entirely within my ability. And crystals do make for a fine dagger.
We countered and parried each other, and I was beginning to tire. If I was going to make a move, I needed to do it soon. Charging at Sombra, I dodged two blasts from his horn, and then dropped onto my knees and slid under those gangly legs of his. He pivoted on the spot as I did so, but the act caught him off guard, so I made my move. Summoning up a shard of crystal, I had it pierce the earth and go straight into his underbelly. It rooted him to the spot as I lost momentum.
Getting to my hooves, I let out a few ragged breaths and took a look at my handiwork. The crystal had gone straight up through his stomach and now protruded out of his back. The damage to his internal organs would be catastrophic.
A moment later though, to my horror, I heard the dark king laugh and turn around where he stood. There was no blood coming from his mouth, and he showed no signs of pain. The answer lay in his wound. There wasn’t one. At both the entrance and exit points, his body had turned back to intangible shadow. Doing the same to the rest of his form, he simply stepped out of my trap, quite unhurt.
“Well,” he said as he strode towards me. “You want to play rough? Then I think it’s time we take the gloves off.”
With a snarl, he forced more energy into his horn. It was clear what he was going to do; summon his own crystal and do the same to me. I was too tired to leap clear, and there wasn’t time anyway.
But there was time to fight fire with fire. I knew the spell he’d used. Yes, it was dark magic, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Summoning up the spell, I did just as Sombra had done, and rendered most of my body non-corporeal for a moment, allowing the dark crystal to pass harmlessly through my chest. Seeing him surprised, I tried the same trick one more time, as did he.
“Well, this could get tedious,” I quipped. We were both now in something of a stalemate.
We continued to exchange fire for a couple more minutes. While we were by no means equally matched, I was managing to hold my own. I wasn’t doing much to him, but nor was he doing anything to me. Stalemate, in order words. I knew Twilight and the others would be working too to save the day. He’d been unable to get into their heads before, and I hoped he hadn’t done the same now. If nothing else, we had Celestia and Luna still. They put Sombra in his place before, without the Elements I might add. Maybe if I could just keep him busy like this, I’d be able to help in the long run.
I had, however, neglected to consider one thing. Sombra didn’t hypnotise ponies like changelings did, for which I had a counter spell. He rather forcibly took control of their bodies. Changeling hypnosis was built on suggestion and misdirecting the mind. With Sombra’s variant, the victim had no choice. It was this that allowed him to so easily attack the Crystal Empire. He just had to look at a pony and he could control them. And he and I had been staring each other down since we first met.
He could have used that twisted magic on me at any time. So why had he allowed this little contest? It served no purpose, in fact it was impeding his plans. So why, and more to the point, why was he fighting fair? I’d lasted against this fruitcake far longer than I had any right to. I had some training in combat and defensive magic was my special talent. But this made no sense. I’d done something equally stupid when Tirek had gotten loose. I’d lasted all of fifteen seconds before he ripped my magic from me.
So how had I been fighting Sombra for getting on for seven minutes?
Well, since we had been trading barbs as we fought, I figured the simplest explanation was to ask him. Dodging another crystal shard, I barrelled at him and tackled him hard. I might be smaller, but I was able to throw him off balance and get him on the ground. And stranger still, I managed to briefly pin him.
“I have a question,” I said as my breaths came short and ragged. “Why am I still alive?” Sombra looked surprised.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean I know you. You overtook an empire in minutes, and it took two alicorns to remove you once, and the Crystal Heart a second time. I find it hard to believe that one measly unicorn is giving you this much trouble.”
And this was where Sombra showed his cards. He let out a low chuckle. A moment later, he turned to shadow, sliding out of my grip, and reappearing a moment later in front of me. Our positions were now reversed; him standing over me.
“It doesn’t make sense, does it?” he replied with a smile. “Tell me, ‘Bones’, how do I control the minds of ponies?” I thought for a moment.
“You show them their worst fear,” I replied. “The despair overwhelms them, leaving them vulnerable.” He chuckled again and shook his head.
“Not quite,” he replied. “Evidently your studies in dark magic still have a long way to go. No, my magic simply occupies the conscious mind. It traps a pony within their own mind, allowing my magic to take over their subconscious actions; movement, speech, magic, and so on. In essence, the pony has no idea they are being controlled. I may show them anything; terrifying nightmares, fond memories, or just give them a good little distraction. Fighting their hated foe, for instance.”
And with a sickening clang, the penny dropped.
“I’m not really here, am I?” I asked, a note of fear in my voice.
“No,” Sombra shook his head sagely. “Right now you are fighting your dear friends as they try to retake Canterlot from me. They will fail, of course.”
“I think you’ll find it’s the other way round, Your Majesty,” I snarled. “I don’t know how, but they will defeat you.”
Defeat me?” Sombra asked. He burst out into dark laughter. “How? I have destroyed the source of their power. Their precious princesses have fled. And I now sit atop Celestia’s throne, while your home is overrun by a rampant forest. How can they possibly defeat me?”
“I don’t know,” I repeated defiantly. “But they will. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on my way. As fun as it’s been, I’m a Briton; I shall never be a slave.”
That little retort was entirely lost on Sombra.
“You cannot escape,” he said plainly.
“If this is my mind,” I replied. “Then I can break the illusion you’re weaving, just as I can break a dream and become lucid. I just have to jolt my brain; shock it enough to break this reality you’ve created.”
I began to look around the fields we stood in, now somewhat marred by jagged obsidian crystals, and burnt by stray blasts of magic. I needed to do something so outlandish, so illogical, that it would force my mind, conscious and unconscious to reject the reality; cognitive dissonance. That would give me an opening to break his hold over me. Of course, that meant I had to do something truly horrible. Horrible even by human standards. My eyes fell upon Apple Bloom.
Luckily, before I could consider doing something that would, dream or not, leave me with lasting mental scars, the real world began to have an effect on our little battle of wills. It began with Sombra laughing like a loon.
“Even if you do escape,” he said. “There is nothing you can do. I just felled Discord himself. Something even your precious princesses couldn’t do.” He burst into mad laughter again. Seriously, it was hammy as all Hell.
His words did ring alarm bells though. Discord was the single most powerful magical creature known to exist, dwarfing even the combined might of all five alicorns. If Sombra had been able to knock him down, then we were really in trouble, and running out of options. I’d figured that Discord would be a last ditch fallback option, but that he’d still step in and win the day if needed.
Sombra’s gloating was short lived though. I saw him start and freeze where he stood. Twilight and her friends were about to deal a coup de grace of their own.
“That’s...that’s impossible!” he said, his voice now subdued. “No! I destroyed their precious tree! How can they still… No! No! No!”
With that, the world shattered, as for the second time, Sombra bit the dust. And from what I hear, it was very painful. As in Applejack swears she saw his hide burn off and his skin melt before the rainbow finally annihilated him.
The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of a road in Canterlot, just down the road from the castle. My side hurt like hell, and it was clear that at some point I’d taken a good kick in the ribs. Sombra not only used everypony to attack Canterlot, but also as a way of defending it from Twilight and the others when they launched their counter attack.
Around me, everypony else was also coming out of a daze. None of us remembered anything after Sombra locked eyes with us, which I think is undoubtedly for the best. I have no desire to remember being unable to control my body as it was used to attack my country’s capital. I think Star Trek TNG, when Picard revealed what he remembered of being assimilated by the Borg, showed us the effects of such memories well enough.
I was soon approached by a medic from the Royal Guard. While they too had been subjected to the same effects of Sombra’s attack, once free of his spell, they’d been able to organise pretty quickly. In all fairness to those boys, faced with an opponent who can screw with your mind just by looking at you, they’d put up a decent fight. The medic checked me over, ensuring that there were no lingering effects from the spell, before moving on to his next patient. Remember, they had pretty much the entire population of Ponyville and Canterlot to triage.
Knowing that Applejack would probably still be up in the castle, I headed up that way. Ponies were milling about hither and thither, but amongst the crowd, I soon picked out friends. I first spotted Mum, who was sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the crowd of ponies. She quickly scooped me up in a hug, while I explained to her just what had gone on. After all, she didn’t have any memory of events any more than I did.
The two of us soon found Lizzie as well, who was with Dewdrop. They’d both been in the air when things kicked off, and were surprised to find themselves not only in Canterlot all of a sudden, but now sporting a few minor injuries, including a sprained wing in Dewdrop’s case.
Finally, we met up with the Apple family, minus Applejack. Like pretty much everypony else, none were the worse for wear, apart from Big Mac, who’d busted his shoulder. Sombra had apparently used him to bust down the drawbridge and gain access to the castle. Beyond that though, everypony had had a brief shock seeing Sombra, but little else. It was like waking up from an unsettling dream, temporal displacement aside, which was honestly more disconcerting.
“Have any of you seen AJ or the others?” I asked our little group as we headed down towards the train station.
Everypony was being shuttled back down to Ponyville by train, and everypony from Ponyville had been asked to congregate at the station to keep the streets clear, while Canterlot residents had been advised to either return to their homes, or go to the city hospital if they’d been hurt in the brief skirmishes.
“I think I heard one of the guards say that they were all still up in the castle with the princesses, looking after Discord,” Lizzie said as she and Dewdrop fluttered alongside us.
“I’ll catch up with you folks on the next train,” I said, turning around. “I’m just gonna drop in and check they’re all okay.”
“Oh I’m sure they’re fine,” Mum replied. “I’m more worried what your dad must be thinking. He was in Manehattan when all this started.”
“Okay, just give me five minutes,” I pleaded.
Mum was about to reply when we saw all six of them trotting down the road towards us.
“There they are now,” she said.
There was a rush of hooves as everypony ran to meet each other. I quickly found myself pulled into one of Applejack’s infamous bone crushing hugs. When she’s excited or worried, she really forgets about her earth pony strength. Luckily, my choking served to remind her.
Twilight gave us their version of what happened, from the relief of the Crystal Empire, the destruction of the Tree and the Elements, Discord’s apparent defeat, and most crucially, the girls’ apparent ability to manifest the power of the Elements, the magic of friendship, without the actual Elements themselves. The princesses, with the help of Starswirl, had also been able to get the Everfree back under control. After all, he was the one who had kept it in check in the past. Still, it hurt to think that that fascinating, and more importantly, living, magical being, was gone.
There was one moment of comic relief. Discord, at the height of their fight with Sombra, was seemingly struck down. This emboldened the crystal loving moron, but also motivated the girls to action. Previously, they’d been running on a wing and a prayer. Seeing their friend hurt, and comforting him had allowed them to unlock the power within them, and manifest the Elements to defeat Sombra once and for all. What was funny about that? Simple; he was faking.
Sombra could no more harm Discord than I could harm Celestia. So really, his attempted conquest of Equestria only kept going for as long as Discord found it entertaining. It made me laugh, knowing that, in the end, I’d gotten one over on the crystal loving tyrant. I wonder if he remembered what I’d told him in those final moments.
So, with everything back to normal, or as normal as it ever gets here in Equestria, we all boarded the train together and headed home.
We still had those pheromone traps to hang after all.
The next week was rather difficult for me. True, Sombra had been soundly defeated, and for good this time, and Twilight had more than proved herself still capable of banging villains’ heads together. It also had the happy side effect of convincing the princesses to delay their retirement for a few months, so as to give Twilight more time to prepare. The young alicorn now made frequent trips up to Canterlot, once again taking lessons from the princesses.
However, as good as that all might seem, there was one dark shadow hanging over everything; the destruction of the Tree of Harmony. This was the second time a tree I admired dearly had been destroyed by an idiot. But unlike the library, the Tree of Harmony was not just some place to keep some books or your Elements. While unknown to most, this ancient magic construct had developed sentience over its long life. Growing far beyond what Starswirl intended. It could think, feel, and plan. It had deliberately acted, or refrained from acting when it was needed, thinking with a rational mind, instead of simply responding with animal-like instinct. So the idea of this creature being so callously cut down hurt me.
I still to this day remember the feeling I picked up when Sombra stuck. It was, to paraphrase Obi-wan, as if a voice cried out in terror, and was suddenly silenced. But nopony else knew that. Twilight was worried about the loss of the Elements, but this was overridden by the fact that they had been able to manifest their power anyway. I seemed to be the only one mourning for what is perhaps Equestria’s oldest protector.
So I set myself a little project. It is a well known fact that magic cannot be created or destroyed. Like any other form of energy, it merely undergoes a change. As such, there had to be some way of restoring or resurrecting the Tree of Harmony. And I intended to do just that. It would mean skirting close to things like necromancy, but I knew that no form of dark magic would be able to restore something created from pure harmony.
With some free time following the incident, I took several trips into the Everfree to visit the remains of the Tree. It was a sorry sight. The dark crystal that had killed it was long gone, destroyed itself by the wave of harmony, but the sight of all that shattered sapphire crystal, and the small shards that were once the Elements of Harmony all but broke my heart. There had to be a way to undo this damage; I was sure of it.
Unfortunately, for me, results weren’t exactly forthcoming. Even Starswirl, who I briefly corresponded with, only had a vague understanding of how his creation had worked. He had only ever known it when it was in its infancy, little more than a simple construct that could respond to basic commands. I began pouring through books, first in Twilight’s library, then the archives in Canterlot, and then anywhere else I could think of. I spent day after day all but barricaded in my room, researching some new theory.
Naturally, before too long, this began to have negative consequences. I was spending less and less time with the Apples, hardly leaving my room. I neglected both AJ and Apple Bloom, even snapping at them once or twice when they tried to talk me round. I hardly went out, stopped taking care of myself, and by the end of the second week, I looked a right mess, and I was still no closer to finding a way of restoring the Tree.
Luckily, on both counts, help was at hand. Firstly, the Tree, which while destroyed, was not dead, as I had hypothesised, had sent out a signal in the form of a dream to Twilight’s six top students, summoning them to its remains. These children would be the agents of its recovery. And second, for me, Applejack finally ran out of patience with my own version of Twilighting, and enlisted my dad to try and snap me out of my funk.
He arrived the next day. Coincidentally, that was the same day the students all turned up. Like me, they knew what the Tree was, but had been sworn the secrecy by it. While I sought to undo the damage though, they simply sought to honour it, accepting the loss, as painful as it was. The only trouble was that they all had various ideas on how to go about doing that, from the interesting, to outright grotesque.
I, of course, had no knowledge of this. I was still cooped up in my room, going over an old monograph from some Baltimare scientist from around two hundred years ago. I had hoped that it, along with some information I’d gathered from when Sunburst helped restore the Crystal Heart, would be able to kick start a sort of regeneration process. Based on what I’d found at the actual site, only the Tree’s above ground component had been destroyed. It’s roots were still intact and potentially viable.
However, I was interrupted from further postulating this new theory when there came a sharp knock on the door. Startled for a moment, I scowled as I got up. I’d told AJ to stop bothering me while I was working. I was so close now, I could feel it. This was no time for interruptions! Opening the front door, I was already halfway through telling her off.
“Dammit, AJ. I told you not to...”
It wasn’t Applejack. Standing there, his head not too far from the top of the door frame, was my dad.
“Oh, sorry, Dad,” I said, checking my tone. “Didn’t realise it was you.”
He looked at me for a moment, and he didn’t look best pleased by what he saw. Understandable I suppose. I hadn’t shaved for days, my eyes were bloodshot, and I looked like death warmed up, and not so damned warm, at that.
“Your mother’s worried about you, son,” he said sternly. “She heard from Applejack that you were holed up in your room, but I didn’t realise you were this far gone.”
Oh please. I rolled my eyes.
“Dad, I’m fine,” I insisted, although a sudden yawn didn’t help my case much. “I think I’m onto something now anyhow. Just give me another day or so, and I should be ready to try and undo what the crystal obsessed snake did to the Tree.”
“Bones. I know the Tree was important,” he said in a fatherly tone of condolence. “But Celestia, Twilight, even Starswirl, who knows more about that thing than anypony, says it’s gone. You can’t bring it back.”
I shot him a scowl at that. Can’t lives in a house on Won’t street.
“We need that thing,” I replied, being careful not to let too much slip. “And we need the Elements of Harmony. Sombra might have been the first round, but I’ll bet you anythin’ we’re in for somethin’ far worse soon.”
From there, we fell into something of an argument. Dad pointed out how the girls had manifested the Elements on their own, and how we consequently still had access to the ultimate magic. Eventually we both wound up sitting on my bed, and revealed to each other our knowledge of the Tree’s true nature. Still though, he tried to sway me.
“Bones,” he said, laying a hand on my shoulder. “You’re many things. A gifted unicorn is one of them. But not even Celestia can bring the Tree back. We barely understood how it worked in the first place.”
“And that’s why I’m studyin’ it,” I shot back, gesturing to the admittedly messy desk, that was surrounded by old tomes and texts on magical anomalies. Still though, Dad wouldn’t listen.
“Look, I know you don’t deal with death well, son,” he tried in a little more gentle tone. “And I understand your grief. But you have to let go, like you did with your Uncle George.”
That was below the belt and he damn well knew it. My great uncle had Alzheimer's disease towards the end of his life. It’s not a fate I would wish on anyone.
With that, I began to relent. He’d almost talked me round and gotten me to accept the Tree’s death, except for one small detail he gave me, right at the end. As he was explaining his understanding of the Tree and his encounter with it, I realised that it had happened after its supposed destruction. That changed everything! I wasn’t now trying to bring something back from the dead, I was trying to help it claw its way back from the brink.
This new information completely changed my approach. One constant in my research had been that any kind of restoration would require a vast amount of magic. The sort of levels the Elements themselves fired off; ancient magic far beyond our understanding. What I did understand though, was that the magic of friendship operates on the same energy band. In theory, a strong enough pulse would be enough to help the Tree recover its own reserves and just maybe restore itself.
I explained as much to an utterly bewildered Dad as I grabbed my stuff and bolted downstairs to make for the Tree.
In moments, my previous ennui had been forgotten. I had a plan; it was possible to save the Tree! Rocketing out of the house past a startled Granny Smith, I went tearing across the farmyard heading straight through the orchards, bound for the Everfree and the ancient castle. In my excited haste, I forgot I was with a man just reaching sixty who avoided exercise like the plague. Getting up to a full gallop with my head down, I leapt at the farmyard fence, clearing it without too much trouble. It was only then I heard him cry out.
“Bones! Wait for me!” he implored desperately. I checked my mad flight and skidded sideways on my hooves.
I watched with a mixture of pity and annoyance as my father lumbered his way across the farmyard and slowly clambered over the fence.
“Come on, Dad!” I called encouragingly, waving a foreleg as I did so. “We’ve gotta get to the Tree!”
“I’m not a young buck any more, Bones,” he grumbled as he rejoined me, doubling up as he tried to get his breath back. “Give me a minute.”
A minute turned out to be a lot longer, and in order to avoid running the poor man to death, I was compelled to check my headlong gallop. The two of us ended up walking, well, trotting in my case, to our destination. The Tree could wait a little longer.
As we walked, Dad struck up a conversation. Curiously, he asked me about Grogar of all things. I was a little surprised he knew the name. Apparently some nutjob in court had threatened to somehow revive him or other such nonsense. I told him what I knew, about G1 and his apparent position here as a foal’s tale. It completely slipped my mind how Discord had been just as curious back when I returned those books to Twilight’s library. He too had mentioned the evil goat.
After that, we lapsed back into silence. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure how I was going to do this, but I had a start. And that was all I needed.
Well, actually, it turned out I wouldn’t need anything as events overtook me. As we neared the castle, we were hit by two separate phenomena. Firstly, the ground shook in a noticeable earthquake. We both felt that. The second thing though, was only perceivable to me, due to it’s magical nature. Just as I felt the supposed death of the Tree as a tremor in the Force, it’s return was also tangible. Although whereas it’s destruction prompted feelings of anguish and pain, it’s return was just the opposite. I felt joy, elation, relief, all hit me at once. I knew it could only mean one thing.
“What the Hell was that?” Dad exclaimed, referring to the earthquake. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure myself.
“No idea,” I replied, putting on a burst of speed. “But whatever it was, it was charged with mighty powerful magic. I’ll bet you anythin’ it has somethin’ to do with the Tree. Come on!”
I broke into a gallop again, briefly leaving Dad behind. Luckily, we weren’t too far from the castle, so he didn’t have too far to run to catch up.
I ducked and dived through the undergrowth, heading straight as the crow flies for the castle and the tree. Breaking out of the forest, it soon became clear what caused the earthquake.
The old castle had no roof, as it had fallen in long ago. Now though, the once magnificent structure was utterly dwarfed by a new arrival protruding from its foundations. An absolutely massive crystalline tree, with sapphire boughs and light pink foliage. The Tree was back, and apparently better than ever. I was right in my theory. The six kids had tried to honour the Tree in various ways before eventually using its remains to build a simple treehouse for themselves. The ancient entity then underwent a strange transformation and turned into what was essentially a giant version of the Golden Oaks library; a clubhouse for the next generation as it were, to meet up in.
I wasn’t the only one who felt what happened either. Twilight and Spike quickly arrived on the scene via teleport. Like me, she was overjoyed to see the Tree return, alive in some form. She, Spike and the students headed inside to explore, while I waited for Dad to catch up, which he did a moment later. I just took a moment to revel in the relief. As he rejoined me and Twilight and the others exited stage left, there was a brief flash of light and what seemed to be Twilight appeared before us. I quickly deduced though, judging by the serene expression and glowing appearance, that this wasn’t Twilight, but the Tree.
“And he cried in a loud voice; ‘Lazarus, come forth!’” I exclaimed joyfully. I’m not normally one for waxing biblical, but it seemed appropriate. In any case, she who was dead, did indeed, come forth, smiling at both of us.
“You kept your word,” Dad said to her, referring to the prior meeting that had inspired me to come out here again. “What will you do now?” The Tree just smiled.
“I shall do what is needed. No more, no less,” it replied. It seemed The Tree spoke fluent Enigmatic Sage. I was too happy to even be very annoyed.
With that, the construct vanished again. The Tree was alive, that was all I cared about.
Dad I headed inside to join Twilight for a while. The little alicorn was a little repulsed by my unkempt state, but was glad to see the positive effect events had had. The both of us were fascinated by the Tree’s new form. There was still so much we didn’t understand about harmony magic.
Study though could wait, as according to Twilight, I needed a wash and a shave. She was even kind enough to teleport me directly to the spa. Dad couldn’t help but laugh.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
One of the things I wanted to do with this story is try and make Bones a little bit more believable as a character and less of a Stu. I'm quite pleased with this fight that never was on that front. What do you guys think?
Spring slowly transitioned into the summer as June rolled around. The cold days of January and February were now but a distant memory. The same could almost be said for what had happened just a few short weeks ago. Ponies have this remarkable ability to cope with traumatic incidents, such as Sombra’s brief return. His death, which this time had been properly confirmed, while not celebrated, didn’t exactly trigger any great show of mourning either. Ponies instead looked to the positives. Spike was once again hailed as a hero in the Crystal Empire, as he was the one to free Cadence, Shining and Flurry, while Twilight and the others had Sombra distracted. Their old ruler’s brief return, far from damaging their confidence, had only strengthened it. Even at the height of his power, Sombra had lasted less than a day after making his return.
I was inclined to feel the same way. No great damage had been done, now that the Tree of Harmony was restored in its new form. Nopony really remembered much about being controlled, so there were no frightening memories, no nightmares. In fact, I’ll go on the record here, given Discord’s presence, Sombra was, at best, an inconvenience. For one day, he caused havoc, but beyond that, he was little more than a footnote.
As to the other matter; the abdication of the Two Sisters, while it had caused quite a stir when first announced, things had settled down with the announcement of a longer transition period. Twilight’s part in defeating Sombra, along with all the other villains she’s seen off over the years, did a lot to help cement her as a promising successor. For my part, I was still sorry to see Celestia and Luna go, but they would still be around, it wasn’t as if they were forfeiting their immortality or anything like that. And, as Luna had said, there was no harm in seeing this change as a good thing. I was certainly no longer so worried about the future as I had been.
The future though, could wait. Right now I was more concerned with focussing on the present. As summer began, the apple blooms, with AB’s namesake, began to blossom into the beautiful flowers that appear before the fruit begins to grow. For a couple of weeks, Sweet Apple Acres was covered in a tapestry to pinks, reds and whites.
I also had a fair bit to do at the School of Friendship, covering the odd class here and there. Right now though, I was taking advantage of the institution's vast academic and scientific resources to pursue one of my pet projects.
Sombra may have been able to control the minds of others with magic, but he also used that magic to create helmets, which accomplished the same function, which could operate without his direct supervision. I’d managed to secure one of these, which had somehow survived the blast of the Elements when it was knocked off its owner’s head in Canterlot, and was now busy studying it in my office. The one thing that had irked me about what happened, was how easily I had been compromised. So I sought to create a countermeasure of some sort to defeat this more direct style of mind control. And to create a countermeasure, you first need to understand how the whole thing works.
Of course, there was the obvious countermeasure; simply have a third party remove the helmet. That though, was easier said than done. As a magical construct, it was not designed to come off. In fact the one I had here had only failed due to a very violent mid air collision. I’d tried all sorts of kinetic based attacks, from physically striking it with hooves and weapons, up to magic based attacks. But so far, while a few very powerful attacks could break the seal around the helmet, I’d not been able to find a way to deactivate the controlling process.
Rather than hope for somepony to come and pull the damn thing off, which would be quite difficult, considering how belligerent ponies could be with the infernal contraption on, I was looking to find a way for either a ranged attack to neutralise the influence, or find a way for the pony within to overcome or override the spell. So far though, I’d had little success.
The problem was this wasn’t anything like changeling hypnosis magic, or even hypnosis as humans understand it. In that school of thought, the control is through suggestion, rather than coercion. Shining Armor, for instance, wasn’t forced to do what he did. Chrysalis kept his mind off balance, leaving him open to very subtle suggestions. This kind of technique has the flaw that you cannot force a pony to do something they don’t want to. You can’t just hypnotise someone to rob a bank if they think it's wrong. To do something like that, you’d need to first condition the mind to accept that the act of robbing a bank isn’t wrong. Chrysalis had plenty of time to build up this kind of rapport, hence why Shining was so neglectful of certain security measures, when he typically wouldn’t be. This kind of hypnosis is a two way street, and relies on both parties consent, or at best, ignorance. Once Chrysalis was unmasked, her control over Shining quickly faded as he snapped out of the trance she’d induced.
Sombra’s version though, was much more literal mind control. The conscious mind was cut off from the physical body, with Sombra’s spell interrupting the connection. As a result, they had no control over their actions. I for instance, at one point became fully aware that I was under his control, but I still couldn’t break free of the spell. Replay the same situation with Chrysalis, and her hypnotic magic would have failed as my mind overrode it, since it is impossible to hypnotise somepony against their will. If changeling hypnosis was like NLP in true hypnotherapy, Sombra was more like Killgrave, and just as much of a smug prick who deserved to get his neck snapped.
But back to my original point, I was stuck; unable to find a way to either break or overwrite the programming in the helmet. I snorted irritably to myself and was about to go back to the drawing board when there was a knock at my office door.
As a teacher of sorts, I do keep office hours for students to drop by. But typically, they prefer to go to some of the more experienced professors, or to Starlight’s office, when they need advice. Still, I wasn’t about to turn anypony away.
“Come in!” I called out.
Turning around as the door opened, I was surprised to see Gallus, the school’s resident griffon. I have to admit, he is one of my favourite students; fairly smart, with a wonderfully dry wit, and he doesn’t take flak from anypony. And from what I saw at the last parent teacher conference, he’s been dealt something of a bad hand when it comes to parenting, if his bastard of a grandfather is any indication, making his dedication that bit more impressive. He’s hoping to go into the forces some day.
“Gallus,” I said brightly. “What brings you here?” I gestured for him to take the spare seat across from my desk. The aqua blue griffon ruffled his wings for a moment before doing so.
“Hey, Professor Star,” That does have a nice ring to it. “I just wanted to ask a couple of questions about that essay you gave us on...” His attention was drawn to the helmet resting on my desk. “Isn’t that one of King Sombra’s mind control helmets?” Gallus always was the curious type.
“That it is,” I replied, leaning back in my own chair for a moment. “I’m studyin’ it. Tryin’ to figure out what makes it tick, and maybe find a way to protect ponies from it in the future. Unfortunately, without much success. Even in death, that egomaniac causes problems.”
“Well, can’t you just… you know...pull it off?” Gallus suggested.
“With some effort,” I agreed. “But you’re liable to get beaten six ways from Sunday before you do, assuming of course, it’s just one on one. And even then, it’s difficult. I’ve tried all sorts of magic to try and deactivate it or turn it off. Even hitting it with a fire spell and heating the damn thing up to a thousand degrees doesn’t break the construct.”
“How about hitting it with something solid?” Gallus suggested. Like Rainbow Dash, and like griffons in general, he looks for the simplest approach to problems.
“It took a collision at twelve hundred knots to break this one off,” I replied.
Now, I’ll be honest, I was humouring Gallus a little here. He was a teenage griffon with no experience in magic, never mind advanced dark magic that even Twilight and Celestia knew little about. But the last thing I was going to do was shut him down and discourage curiosity. It was a good thing I did too, because it was then that he struck upon a point I honestly, and rather stupidly, hadn’t considered.
“Well, if you can’t knock out the helmet controlling the pony,” Gallus said. “Why not knock out the pony?”
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.
“Well, from what I understand,” he explained. “These helmets control a pony’s mind and make them do things against their will. But if they’re unconscious, then the helmet could send all the commands it wanted to. They wouldn’t be received. Then you could get close enough to pull it off them or break it.”
I considered the idea for a moment. It had merit. When a pony, or any creature for that matter is unconscious, the mind is still active, but it has no control over motor function, just as it didn’t when we’re asleep. The conditioning would still be there, but the body wouldn’t respond.
It could work. ‘Shoot the hostage’ I thought to myself.
“Gallus, you’re a genius!” I exclaimed, half surprised myself.
“Yeah, I get that a lot,” he replied smugly.
“No, I’m serious,” I said. “That’s real outside the box thinking there. I’ve been plugging away at this thing for two weeks trying to find a way to disrupt things on the helmet’s end. I never even considered attacking it from the other side. Of course, it would still be difficult, and you’d probably have to injure the unfortunate pony in some way, but they’d survive and it would get the helmet off them, so I don’t think they’d be complaining.”
I realised I was babbling away, getting lost in the fascinating science of magic again. Poor Gallus had come in with an actual question he wanted an answer to. I awkwardly stopped myself and took a moment to clear my throat.
“Sorry about that. Anyway Gallus, you said you had some questions for me about an essay I’d assigned?”
And so the two of us went over a few things from the essay I’d set. I’d been covering one of Rainbow’s lessons, so I was teaching about loyalty. I’d asked the kids to write an essay looking at two examples of loyalty, one where it was merited, and one where it was misplaced. For Gallus, such things came up quite a lot in his homeland’s history. A couple hundred years ago, what is now the stable and staunch ally of Equestria, the Griffon Kingdom, was a collection of squabbling states that were more often than not at war with each other. Even today, the scars of these conflicts can still be seen, both in the country and its society. With such a wide variety of potential case studies to choose from, Gallus wanted some advice on selecting ones that showed the two ends of the scale as clearly as possible.
The pair of us actually ended up chatting for quite a while. I’m not that much older than a lot of the students, Gallus included, so you don’t always have that clear teacher/student relationship. And I do like to consider him a friend. By the end of our talk, he had plenty of ideas to use for his essay, and I had a nice, simple way of countering mind control spells. A win-win situation.
A week or so later, and the first petals were beginning to fall from the apple trees. Light winds created a beautiful, almost sea like, image of petals floating in the air. And petals weren’t the only thing floating through the orchards either. Now was the migration period for the Breezies; small, adorable, apparently Danish, or at least Scandinavian, creatures that helped spread the pollen around Equestria each year. The small creatures relied on the wind to activate their magic, helped in part by the pegasi of each region they passed through, before ultimately arriving back at the portal to their world, which was only open for a short time each year.
Lacking wings ourselves, Applejack and the rest of us couldn’t do too much to help out. But it was quite the sight to see. Certainly it was on par with the butterfly migration I’d seen with Fluttershy last year. The small creatures, with their large, transparent wings slowly floated across the country, passing through Sweet Apple Acres on their way.
As we all watched the creatures go by, I reflected on one of the key differences between my old human body, and the pony one I now had. Back on Earth, I’d suffered from pretty bad hayfever. It had gotten better over the years, but around this time in early June, I’d be a mess, on prescription meds just to function. I certainly wouldn’t have been able to stand out here and watch the Breezies go by. And luckily, this time, their progress was without incident.
Pollen of course, meant that everything really spurted as far as plants were concerned. Whereas before there had been a few parts of the farm that were little more than mud, now the whole place was awash with grass. Where it had previously been just a couple of inches, the grass had now grown to come pretty much all the way up my legs on some of the more open grasslands. Even with the sheep and cattle grazing, the farm was looking more and more like a jungle every day.
In addition to making it a bit tricky to get about though, the long grass had another effect. Just as if you planted trees too close to one another, grass getting too close to trees could put the two organisms in competition with one another, which would ultimately affect the crop yield. Each tree had a good collar of mulch around it for this very reason, but it was always a good idea to keep the grass in check.
Beyond that, letting the grass grow too much, particularly in the hot summer months, put us in a danger all farmers fear; fire. Long dry grass needs only the smallest spark, such as a lightning strike in a summer storm, and it will go up in seconds. Even in Britain, a country that doesn’t typically have to concern itself with forest fires in the same way our American or Australian cousins do, every year, swaths of land were lost to grass fires, all too often started through carelessness or outright malice. A fire on Sweet Apple Acres, even if tackled at once, would be horrifically devastating. We’d lose arable grazing land, and if it couldn’t be stopped in time, we could lose trees, or Celestia forbid, even the farm itself.
As such, as soon as the Breezie migration was complete the first order of business was cutting this grass down as quickly as possible. In addition to possibly saving the farm, the grass would also be used, given how dry it was already, for hay. After being cut, it would be allowed to dry out a little, and then baled up.
Once upon a time, this was the worst part of the year for me. Hay baling stirs up all sorts of dust and pollen, driving my hayfever, if you’ll excuse the pun, to a fever pitch. Now though, I didn’t have to worry about that. What I did need to worry about though, was that, with only basic internal combustion technology, such as the steam engine used in trains, Equestria hadn’t yet developed a motorised lawnmower. That meant doing things the old fashioned way, either with a push along, pony powered mower, or going at the grass with scythe.
Luckily for me, and everypony else, Sweet Apple Acres has a few good pony powered grass cutters. There were two variants available. One was essentially the same wheeled frame that I’d used during Winter Wrap Up. The snow plough and the funnelling system that channelled the snow away was removed, and instead replaced with a rotary mower connected to the main wheels by a series of gears and cogs. Set at a ratio of 16:1, that is 16 rotations of the mower to every one rotation of the main wheels, the machine could make light work of large areas of grassland, particularly with its roof which protected the operators from the glare of the summer sun. We’d use this for the large open fields where the cattle grazed.
As for the orchards themselves, where there was less space to work with, there was a small variant available. This was more like your typical push along mower, only more suited to operation by a quadruped. It was lighter and easier to manoeuvre in the occasionally tight confines of the orchards, particularly as it had to get fairly close to the trees without damaging them.
This was what we’d all be doing for the next couple of days. It would take that long at the very least to cut all the grass. As it turned out though, we’d already waited too long, and were about to find ourselves in a very perilous situation.
It all started the following afternoon. It hadn’t rained on the farm for getting on for three weeks now, apart from perhaps the odd passing shower, and that did little to give the ground any moisture. All done by the weather pegasi of course. After all, we needed a dry spell to dry the grass out. There’s no sense trying to cut wet grass. We were all working hard cutting the grass in the orchards in order to keep the trees clear. The grass would also help produce a good supply of mulch for the trees too. I was working my way around the last row of trees, having spent most of the day out here.
Pausing for a moment, I removed my stetson and used it as a fan to try and cool myself down, and wiped my forehead with the back of my hoof. It was sweltering hot now, having just gone past midday. It was wonderful, come nightfall, as the nights were now a balmy twelve to fifteen degrees, and while the humidity made for poor seeing for stargazing, it did let me comfortably spend a night or two outside just looking up at the moon, and enjoying the beautiful lunar shadows.
Right now, I was half hoping Luna would once again try to usurp the throne from her sister and move the moon into an eclipse. It was too damn hot! Maybe Celestia had finally snapped and was now planning to slowly cook the annoying ponies that had driven her round the bend over the last thousand years? Taking a swig of water from my canteen, which itself was now becoming almost too warm to count as refreshing, I prepared to start up again.
It was then though, as the light breeze shifted a little, that I picked up a scent on the wind. I haven’t got the sort of nose Winona has, but my sense of smell is quite superior to humans. And what I was smelling now was far from pleasant. It was acrid and foul, and it took only a moment to work out what it was. Something was burning.
With a start, I forgot all about my humdrum chores and bolted, throwing myself into a canter, and from there into a headlong gallop. Following my nose, I tried to locate the source of the smell. If something had caught on fire, it needed to be found and put out yesterday.
Tearing past the pond, and regretting that I didn’t have time to jump in and cool off, I forced myself up one of the knolls that dotted Sweet Apple Acres’ more open grassland. And it was there that I first caught sight of the smoke.
It was grey, not black, and there wasn’t too much of it, but something was definitely alight. And judging by the amount of smoke, it had definitely caught the brush.
Well, there was no time to lose. This wasn’t something we could deal with on our own; the emergency services were needed. Turning tail, I galloped back to the farmhouse. Apple Bloom was still at school, thank goodness, and the fire still had a fair way to come before it could pose any serious threat. Some of the nearby cattle, who also helped out by running some of the pony powered grass cutters had also clocked the danger and were quickly moving off. Luckily for us, the wind was almost non-existent today. That at least would help reduce the spread of the flames. I planned to gallop back to the farmhouse, alert Granny Smith, and then make for Ponyville to turn out the retained brigade.
I can recall a few moments where I’ve run as fast as I possibly could. As a pony, I can probably get close to something along the lines of twenty five to thirty miles an hour if I really push myself. And I was doing that now, tearing the ground up as I went. The heat now got even worse as my body desperately tried to cool itself down, despite my exertions. By the time the farmhouse came into view, my limbs were shaking and I was at a dead run.
And I still had to get to Ponyville after this. I pushed that thought from my mind, and did my best to push through the pain.
“Granny!” I bellowed. “Granny Smith! Fire! Fire!”
That brought the apple matriarch out in seconds. She’d fixed up a pair of saddlebags and had two buckets connected to them, along with a shovel across her back.
“Where is it, Bones?” she asked quickly. “And how bad?” I drew up and my strength instantly gave out. It took effort just to stay standing as I doubled up and tried to get my breath back.
“On the grasslands by the north orchard,” I explained. “Grass fire. Don’t know what started it. There’s no wind, so I can’t see where it’s headed. I’m gonna head for Ponyville. Try and find Rainbow Dash or any other pegasi, and get the firefighters out here.”
“Alright,” Granny said, she too prepared to head out. “I’ll go and find Applejack and Big Macintosh. We’ll take a look at this thing, see what we’re dealin’ with. If we can, we’ll try and get a control line up. With any luck, we can put a lid on this thing before it gets too big.”
Granny was referring to a long standing fire fighting tactic for dealing with brush fires. They’re as dangerous as they are because they have pretty much limitless fuel and can go wherever the wind takes them. You need only look at how the Yellowstone forest fire took out nearly half that national park to see just how dangerous one small fire can be. A fire line was designed to stop the spread, rather than putting the fire out. You deprived the fire of further fuel by digging a sort of trench, turning over the earth in front of the fire, so that when it reached it, there would be no more fuel. It would then have nowhere to go and would burn out, or could be doused. As farmers, we had plenty of soil tilling equipment that, in a pinch, could fashion a good control line. And it was better than doing nothing while waiting on the retained brigade. Ponyville doesn’t have a fire station standing ‘at watch’ as it were. Instead it’s made up of volunteers, like the lifeboatmen, who work normal jobs until a shout comes.
All that though, was still a long way off. It would take time for Granny to find Mac and AJ, more time for them to start cutting a control line, and even more for any assistance from Ponyville to arrive. I considered going back and lending a hoof with my magic, but even that was risky. Magic does give off some heat as it’s used. Using my magic to burn a control line could just as easily start a second fire, and then we’d be in even more trouble. Backfires are a technique that is strictly for trained professionals. So instead, I got my head down and dug deep, galloping hard toward Ponyville.
I made the six miles to Ponyville in a matter of minutes. I might have been going at a dead run, but I was still going. I guess, what with my home and livelihood in mortal peril, I got access to a bit more of my stamina than normal. I certainly felt sore all over for the next couple of days due the damage I’d done to my muscles from pushing them beyond their normal limits.
Sprinting to Town Hall, I burst through the doors and quickly found Mayor Mare. As the mayor of the small town, it was her responsibility to sound the fire siren, which you might have seen going off back when Spike had his unexpected growth spurt. It had the same effect as firing off maroons or ringing church bells. She looked more than a little surprised as I barrelled up to her, with my sides heaving and stained with sweat.
“Goodness, whatever is the matter, Blade Star!” she exclaimed.
“Fire!” I replied hoarsely. “On Sweet Apple Acres!”
She took action instantly. Running into her office, she unlocked the control panel that controlled the sirens. There were different tones depending on the emergency. For this she turned on the ‘alert’ tone; a single steady note, as opposed to the ‘danger’ signal, which was your classic air raid warning.
The effect was almost instantaneous. Ponies began scrambling in town. Derpy, Roseluck, Caramel, Noteworthy, Nurse Redheart, Cranky, and Rainbow Dash, now all converged on Town Hall. Towards the back end of the building was a large shed, where the fire engine was stored. It was a specially modified cart, designed to be pulled by two ponies, with water tanks, hoses, and all other sorts of firefighting equipment. As I struggled to get my breath back, I watched them all arrive, don their gear, and a moment later, with its own bell ringing shrilly, Equestria’s version of Jupiter tore out of its berth and took the road to Sweet Apple Acres.
Not wanting to sit idle while my home was in danger, I forced my heart and nerves and sinew to serve their turn long after they were gone, and so, as Kipling said, held on when there was nothing left within me, except the will, which said ‘Hold on!’. I cannot describe how tired my limbs were, my breath came in short sharp gasps as I tried to gulp down air. The only solace I had was that when I got back to the farm, there wouldn’t be too much running involved.
I followed the route the fire brigade had taken, forcing myself back up the hill I’d previously charged down. Before too long, I was back on the farm again, only now, the plume of smoke was much larger.
The fire was spreading.
I found the farm house empty. Apple Bloom wasn’t due home for another couple of hours, but Granny looked to have left. I hoped she’d managed to find Applejack and Big Mac, although, between the engine and the smoke, you’d be hard pressed to miss the fact that we were alight.
Following the tracks laid down by the heavy wagon, I soon found myself back on the scene of action.
The fire had indeed gotten a lot worse since I’d left. There was still very little wind, but the fire had quite happily made for the area of the thickest brush. Angry orange flames licked a good ten feet into the air, rolling like some terrible sea. The heat, even at this relative distance was intense, and the smoke stung my eyes as the gentle breeze shifted one way and another.
Redheart had taken charge of things on the ground, along with Granny Smith. She was both the medic and incident commander, to borrow British fire brigade terminology. The Apples were on the scene too, and Granny Smith had gotten both Big Mac and AJ working on control lines, using ploughs and tillers to upend the earth. With so little wind, while the fire had grown, it hadn’t yet spread too far, nor was it particularly fast.
“Granny! Redheart!” I called out as I cantered up.
“Bones!” Granny greeted, quickly pulling me into a hug. “Glad to have you back, sonny. We’re gonna need everypony’s help if we’re gonna get this under control.”
“How much is contained?” I asked Redheart, who had now swapped her nurse’s outfit for full firefighter gear, including a red helmet with the words ‘Fire Chief’ emblazoned on it.
“About forty percent,” she replied. “Applejack and Big Mac are covering this end. I’ve got Cranky and Noteworthy on the other. Rainbow Dash and Derpy are filling up as many clouds as they can over the lake for an air attack. Whatever we can’t block by fire line, we’ll have to soak. If we let this thing get much bigger, it’s going to turn into a real firestorm, and then it’ll have enough wind to move fast. If that happens, Dash is keeping her Weather Patrol on standby. We should be able to get a rainstorm in here in less than fifteen minutes.”
That was still, I reflected privately, an awful long time to have a fire raging out of control.
“Anything I can do to help?” I offered. Redheart thought for a moment. She was already uneasy about drafting in Big Mac and Applejack.
“See if you can lend a hoof on the pump,” she suggested. We’ve got enough water for most things, but this fire could go right through our reserves. Rainbow’s using the lake for air attack. If you can get a length of hose down there, we’ll have more than enough water to keep control of this thing.”
“On it,” I replied.
The lake was only a few hundred meters away, and also provided an excellent natural barrier, protecting the orchards nearest the fire. Heading over to the fire engine, I found Caramel manning the pump, which fed the hoses Noteworthy and Cranky were currently using to try and check the blaze.
“Hey!” I called up to him. “Redheart wants me to hook you guys into the lake to refill the tender. Which hose do you want me to use?”
Caramel, still going like the clappers, gestured to a very large, heavy looking hose, that was presently curled up like a snake on the side of the wagon. It was already hooked into the large oil drum like tank that held the engine’s water supply.
Activating my magic, I took a hold and lifted the large assembly up. I wasn’t that much smaller than me like this, and as heavy as you might expect. I was certainly glad that I'd taken time to hone my magical abilities.
Taking the hose, I quickly headed for the lake, while the hose spooled out behind me, growing lighter with each step.
The task of fighting the blaze dragged on, well into the afternoon. To chronicle the affair blow by blow would probably fill up this entire account of my days on the farm, and be far too technical. Contrary to what you might think, fighting a brush fire isn’t half as exciting as it sounds.
A few hours after the blaze first began, it was contained in an area of about a mile square, 600-650 acres or so. And just think, that was with no wind. Had there been even a light gust, I honestly think that the whole farm could have been threatened. Between the control lines dug by the Apples and the firefighters, and the liberal use of water sources by Redheart, the fire was left with no place that it could readily spread.
With the risk of total destruction averted, we now turned our attention to actually putting the fire out. To that end, Rainbow Dash and Derpy brought in several pony sized clouds, filled to the brim with water from the lake, and began to unload them onto the blaze below, while Caramel, Redheart and the others attacked with hoses from the ground. Slowly but surely, the noose around the fire tightened. By the time a deeply alarmed Apple Bloom returned home from school, the fire was under control and well on the way to being put out.
Still, it took a fair bit of time for the firefighters to accomplish this difficult task. The fire wasn’t going down without a fight, and the ground had to be constantly hosed down to prevent flare ups, which happened more than once, pushing the firefighters back several yards at a time. But it only forestalled the inevitable.
With the fire contained and controlled, and well on its way to being extinguished, Redheart released Applejack and Big Mac from service and asked them to keep clear while they finished up. While they had been invaluable in cutting the initial control lines, and in that sense had greatly helped to limit the spread of the fire, Redheart still preferred not having civilians in her area of action. As such, we all adjourned back to the farmhouse. There was no question of trying to get in any more work today. We were all exhausted as it was.
The only task now, would be to assess the extent and scale of the damage when the fire was out. We’d been fortunate that the fire had broken out on open grazing land, a fair distance away from the orchards or any other crops, as well as the sheep and cattle herds. If it had hit an orchard, we’d have lost it all, a devastating financial blow. However, losing a good square mile of land to the flames meant we had that much less grass to turn into hay to get the animals through the winter. Everything that happens on a farm affects everything else. The lake too, was now noticeably lower than normal, meaning that we’d have to be careful with irrigation, and ration the water as best we could until Cloudsdale and the Weather Patrol could organise some fresh rainfall. And of course, we couldn’t have that until the hay was cut and dried, else it would all turn to mush. Just because we hadn’t lost trees or crops didn’t mean this fire hadn’t affected things.
There was one simple question on everypony’s mind, though, one which Applejack voiced that night over dinner.
“I still can’t work out how that dang thing got started in the first place!” she exclaimed.
“Simple,” I replied. “The grass got too long and too dry. The stuff would have been like a tinderbox. A hundred and one things could have set it off; lightning strike, sunlight refractin’ off somethin’ in the sky, heck, even a stray ember from the funnel of a passin’ train could have set it off. We’re certainly never gonna know for sure. The only thing Redheart said she could be sure of is that it weren’t nopony settin’ it deliberately, magic or otherwise. The more important question is what we do now.” Now Granny, who was sitting at the head of the table, spoke up.
“Simple,” she said. “We get out there tomorrow and work as fast as we can to get the grass cut and dried. The sooner we do that, the sooner Rainbow Dash says she can request more rainfall to fill up the lakes. Celestia knows the river’s startin’ to get mighty low, even for summertime.”
She was right. There was little else we could do, but the best solution, and the best way to prevent a fire in the future, was to deprive it of potential fuel. Short, cut grass, was far less likely to catch, regardless of how hot it got.
“I just hope this don’t hold up our plans for the Summer Sun Celebration this year,” Applejack said. “I promised Twilight that we’d pitch in to help up in Canterlot.”
“We will, AJ,” I reassured her.
I too was rather keen on being able to attend. Considering recent events, most notably, Celestia’s impending departure from the world stage, this would most likely be the last proper Summer Sun Celebration. It would be held in Canterlot, and both Applejack and I had volunteered to help out on the catering side of things, along with Pinkie Pie. But we could hardly do that if we were behind on our work. At the end of the day, the farm, and by extension our livelihood, came first.
Still, I was confident that if we all dug deep, particularly over the weekend, we’d be able to get the hay friend up and the baling done by Wednesday.
By the time the sun set, the fire was almost virtually gone. The blaze as a whole had been put out, and all that remained down was to check for hot spots that could potentially flare up again. Given how much water had been thrown around though, turning the site of the fire into something reminiscent of the Somme in 1916, there was little chance of that. And by eight that night, Redheart finally declared the fire officially out, and she and her team departed.
All that remained was the charred section of field, and the dull glow of a few faint embers, that created what looked like a second sunset to the north. I found myself watching this slightly ominous glow as I sat outside. It was a full moon tonight and, in a somewhat odd tradition, I always try to spend some time outside, enjoying the night Luna had given us. Apple Bloom had joined me as well. She’d missed all the excitement of turning out the fire brigade, and she’d been kept well away from the fire itself even after she got home from school. But like all kids, she was keen to hear about what had happened.
“And so you ran all the way back to the house, then to Ponyville, and back again?” she said.
“Yep, and all in under twelve minutes,” I replied. “Honestly, it was lucky I was near enough to see the smoke when I did. Redheart said another twenty minutes or so, and it might have ended up spreadin’ to a couple of the orchards.”
“I’m just glad it stayed away from our clubhouse,” Apple Bloom replied.
“And the farmhouse,” I added.
“Have you ever seen a fire that big before, Bones?” she asked.
“Not personally,” I replied. “But I’ve heard of forest fires destroying thousands of acres back on Earth. They do the same thing we did; contain them, and let them burn out, only it’s a lot harder.”
Apple Bloom fell silent for a moment, and looked at the faint glow on the horizon. I was planning, once I’d gotten her off to bed, to go and take one last look around, just to be sure.
“Do you think it’ll happen again?” she asked nervously. I looked down at her and saw the worry on her face.
I sometimes find myself forgetting that Apple Bloom is just a filly. Of course something like a fire would scare her, particularly one as big as that. I remember when I was little, a neighbour’s house five or six doors down went up; total loss, and their littlest and the family dog didn't make it out. For weeks afterwards, I unplugged everything electric in the house and made sure every single door was shut in case fire broke out in the night. I even put my poor parents through almost daily fire drills. It wasn’t until my dad took me to one side that I got over that fear.
“Let me tell you something, Apple Bloom,” I said softly. “Fire is very dangerous. It can hurt, and even kill you if you aren’t careful. But that only happens if you don’t respect it. When treated properly, fire is a tool, and a very useful one at that, nothing more. As long as you’re knowledgeable and prepared, you can protect yourself against any danger.
“Look at today. Yes, a fire broke out, but I knew what to do, and so did Granny Smith, Big Macintosh, and Applejack. As dangerous as it was, we all stopped that danger by being prepared and acting promptly. And so the fire only burnt up the one field.”
Apple Bloom still looked a little uncertain. I laid a comforting hoof on her shoulder.
“Tell you what,” I said. “When we’re all done with the grass cutting tomorrow, we’ll go and see Nurse Redheart, and she can help teach you a thing or two about fires. You can bring Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo along if you want to. I think y’all are old enough to learn about it and be responsible.”
That seemed to sway her. It’s a clever little psychology trick I’ve picked up from my parents. If you treat kids like they’re a little bit older or more mature than their peers, it encourages them to try and do new things, even if they’re initially a little unsure.
With Apple Bloom soothed, I led her up to bed. It was getting pretty late, and we all had an early start tomorrow. The only good thing that came out of this long heatwave was, with the grass as dry as it was, it would be ready for baling almost as soon as it was cut. At the thought of all that freshly cut grass, my treacherous mind helpfully decided to remind me of my old body, and I let out a sudden sharp sneeze.
Luckily, my hayfever didn’t decide to reassert itself, and we all set to work the following day in earnest. We’d managed to make quite a sizeable dent in things the day before. Until the fire had broken out, we’d been making good progress. I found myself again using the small pony powered mower and working my way through the orchards, cutting the grass down and keeping it all away from the trees.
Across the way from me, Applejack was working on one of the fields that had managed to dodge the fire. Working her way back and forth with one of the larger combine harvester style machines, she too was making rapid progress. The field, which had previously been something of a veldt, with grass that came up to the average pony’s shoulders, was now cut short again, with the cutting piled neatly in long rows through the field. If you bale it too damp, the hay will turn into compost or even spontaneously combust. These rows would now be left to dry for a day or two at most, in light of recent events, and then we’d get them baled up and hauled away into storage for the leaner months.
For my part though, I had both less and more work to do. Working in the orchards meant there was far less actual grass to cut, but at the same time, we weren’t leaving this out for hay baling. Instead, every now and then, when the bag of the mower filled up with cuttings, I’d have to stop and empty it all into the large wheelbarrow I’d brought along with me. From there, the grass would be added to the large store of compost we had, which in turn could be used to help feed the younger trees.
The downside of this was that, whereas Applejack or Big Mac spent all day cutting grass, I was going back and forth, slowly filling the barrow up and then taking it back to the farm and adding it into the large compost bin. Combined with old leaves, rotten fruit, manure, and whatever food waste we ourselves had, the grass would turn into useful fertiliser and plant food, rather than catching fire on a hot summer day.
Still, the work wasn’t too taxing. Were I my old self, I’d no doubt be knackered by now. But as it was, while I was sweating a fair bit, it was mainly due to the heat, rather than physical exertion. I was certainly making steady progress through the orchards.
A couple of days later, and we were all sorted at last. Where the orchards had once been bordering on overgrowth, the grass was trimmed nicely, well back from each of the trees. The open fields meanwhile, had had the same treatment, and were now dotted with large cylindrical bales of hay, which would continue to dry out for a couple days more before being loaded up in a wagon and stored away in the barn. Come winter time, there would make a good food source for the cattle and sheep. We might even have a bit of a surplus, and with luck, I might be able to convince Granny to make us all some hay fries.
The main thing though, was that with the grass now trimmed back, the danger of another brushfire breaking out had passed. With far less fuel available, it would be much harder for any natural phenomena to start a fire. The grass however, did continue to grow, and by early autumn, the ground had healed pretty well, with the ugly charred scar of burnt ground vanishing. It served as an important lesson for all of us, and Applejack said that, next year, we’d definitely start things earlier by a week or so, instead of putting it off as we had this time.
With the hay making done, things briefly quietened down a bit. Zap Apple Season was only a few weeks away, and beyond that came the always hectic Applebuck Season. But for now, we had a couple of weeks to catch our breaths. It was fortunate that this time also marked the occurrence of the Summer Sun Celebration.
I don’t think I need to explain one of Equestria’s most important holidays, now do I? Celebrated for just over a millennia, marking the anniversary of Celestia’s victory over Nightmare Moon. The holiday was always something of a double edged sword for me. On the one hoof, it marked the day Princess Luna returned from her exile and at last threw off the shackles of Nightmare Moon. But at the same time, it was also the day, over a thousand years ago, when Luna, lost in the throes of jealousy bordering on madness, had fallen and become that same vile creature. I can still remember from Twilight’s flashback to that day, the look of fear on her face as the shadows enveloped her. At the last moment, she saw what she was doing was wrong, but by then it was too late.
I must confess, if made to choose between Celestia and Luna, I’d come down on the side of the night every time. And yes, I may be just a tad obsessive towards Princess Luna, and at times even paradoxically protective of the phenomenally powerful alicorn. So celebrating the day she was banished to the moon, a memory even Celestia admits she would rather not recall, was a little uncomfortable for me, although in a way, you could say the same for Nightmare Night, which remains one of my favourite nights of the year.
Of course, since her return, the celebration has changed to reflect the newer triumph, both Luna’s and Celestia’s safe return and the rediscovery of the Elements of Harmony. Now though, I suppose it would be changing again, or rather, stopping altogether. With the two sisters abdicating the throne, it was expected that the holiday would be abolished. Just as the celebration of Empire Day had faded into history with the passing of my mother country’s imperial era, so too would the Summer Sun Celebration end, as the ponies at the centre of festivities would no longer raise the sun or moon.
I have to be honest, it was that change alone that really rankled me. Nopony but Luna should have dominion over the moon and the night, just as nopony but Celestia should over the sun and the day. Each pony had forged a powerful connection with their respective celestial body. In one of the last vestiges of my obsession towards Princess Luna, the idea of anypony, or anyone, else having control over the moon was somehow...offensive.
But I’m rambling, and possibly sounding just a touch unhinged no doubt. Long story short, the Summer Sun Celebration was upon us. The last one was to be held in Canterlot, and was expected to be the biggest celebration of the event in recent memory. Ponies from far and wide were pitching in to help, and that included yours truly, and all of Twilight’s friends, to name just a few.
Applejack and I, along with Braeburn and a good chunk of the extended Apple family, would be helping to feed the vast numbers of ponies that would flock to the capital to see the sun rise at the princess’ command. There were plenty of other jobs of course, unicorn specialists would be creating a grand fireworks display in the early dawn hours, and half of Cloudsdale, including the Wonderbolts themselves no less, had been drafted in to ensure that the skies around Canterlot were kept clear of everything from stray clouds to airships, so that everypony’s view of the moonset and sunrise from our mountaintop perch would be entirely unobstructed.
It was a massive undertaking and I figured we probably would run into a few snags along the way. But I didn’t quite expect what was going to happen that night atop the Canterhorn. I was about to find out that Sombra’s return had been the symptom of a much larger problem that was looming on the horizon, and that we were now facing perhaps one of the most serious threats to Equestria since the attack by the Storm King. And the part? My own father was in on it, as was Equestria’s least trustable ally.
Needless to say, things were about to get interesting again. I suppose that’s what I get for enjoying the peaceful serenity of life on the farm. To have harmony, one does, after all, need just a little bit of chaos. And boy were we about to get chaos.
It probably didn’t help that everything happened at two in the morning. Had it been in the day time, when I was awake, alert, and at the height of my mental powers, I might have been able to somewhat modify events. As it was though, I missed out on key clues, the consequences of which wouldn’t come to light until much later.
It all began when we were making pies. And I say we, because I had a couple of companions with me in the ad hoc outdoor kitchen that had been set up a little ways away from the main square where the celebration was being held. You couldn’t exactly have a bunch of civilians wandering the halls of Canterlot Castle, now could you? If nothing else, the risk of violent, and possibly deadly attack by geese; a new and frankly brilliant security measure implemented by Shining Armor, as well as the resulting litigation, made it too big of a chance. So instead getting to use the high end kitchens in the castle, we were set up using more basic outdoor cooking equipment.
There were several of these kitchens set up, churning out everything from pies, to cakes, and even the odd pretzel. There were dozens of earth ponies cooking ,carrying ingredients, delivering the food, and so on. Helping me out, I had Braeburn as well as my dad. Despite his role as Princess Celestia’s legal advisor, he wasn’t above rolling up his sleeves and pitching in. Applejack was, sadly, away with Pinkie Pie, overseeing everything to do with the catering side of things. All of Twilight’s friends were playing a major role in this final celebration, with AJ and Pinkie n foodstuffs, Rarity overseeing the unicorn display team, and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy lending a hoof with the vast and highly complex weather control operation.
All was going perfectly smoothly, and I was taking the chance to catch up with Dad as we worked, until Braeburn briefly departed to get a couple more sacks of flour. The chore should have taken him but a few minutes, and when he didn’t come back after six, we began to get concerned.
“How’s that flour coming, Braeburn?” Dad called out, leaning slightly around the corner to let his voice carry more.
Silence.
“Braeburn, you about?” he tried again.
Still nothing.
I was just about to suggest we go and look for him anyway, when we heard a low groan close at hoof. Fearing that Braeburn might have met with some accident, we temporarily left our little kitchen and headed across the courtyard to look for him. It didn’t take us long.
We found Braeburn, himself quite unhurt, but doing his best to care for another earth pony who seemed to be ill with something. At least, that was what it looked like at first. The both of us rushed over to his side.
“Braeburn! What happened?” I exclaimed as I went to the injured pony’s side.
I’m no certified medic, but I still remember my St. John’s training, and plenty of it carried over to ponies. The pony had evidently collapsed suddenly judging by the position of his limbs and was more than a little delirious. I couldn’t get him to focus his eyes on me for love nor money. What was up with him though, I initially couldn’t say. It could be a hundred and one things, from a heart attack down to a bad stomach bug. Still, at least I had some experience, which was more than could be said for Braeburn.
“What the hay’s wrong with him?” he asked worriedly. I could hear the panic in his voice; that was the last thing we needed, and his question, whilst understandable, wasn’t exactly one I could answer. Add that to being a little sleep deprived, and you got the response which earned me the nickname I have now.
“Dammit, Braeburn,” I snarled irritably as I tried to answer that same question. “I’m a unicorn, not a doctor!” Close at hoof, Dad let out a slight laugh, which he quickly hid.
Quickly recovering himself, my dad flagged down a couple of guards who fetched out one of the doctors from the castle. It took them a few more minutes to get out here, along with a stretcher party, which gave me a bit of time for an amateur diagnosis.
As I said, a pony collapsing can be triggered by a hundred and one things, from genetics, infections, environmental factors, or anything else you could think of. I had neither the equipment or medical training to make an accurate diagnosis. However, as I continued to try and bring the still delirious pony round, I noticed something; his eyes. They looked glossy, unfocussed, and seemed to have a sort of clouded effect over them, mimicking in some way the signs of advanced cataracts. But my basic tests showed that the pony, whatever else might be wrong with him, could see, as he followed my hoof left to right, up and down. So it couldn’t be cataracts.
I tried to think and recall what little medical knowledge I had. Could it be a stroke? He couldn’t speak or move with any coordination. That didn’t explain the eyes though. In fact, the only time I’d seen anything like this, the only time I’d seen a pony so dull and utterly out of was when…
Oh crumbs!
I turned to Dad, now more than a little worried.
“Quick! Roll him over onto his side!” I instructed him.
“Bones?” he asked curiously.
“Now dammit!” I barked crossly.
Between me, Dad and Braeburn, we managed to roll the pony into something close to the recovery position, which was probably a good thing anyway. But I wasn’t particularly worried about him aspirating all over us. If he had, I might have gotten the chance to use that wonderful phrase from Top Gear’s brief stint as ambulance men; ‘Stop vomiting, you idiot!’. No, I needed him on his side so I could take a look at his flank.
With some effort, we got the poor stallion onto his side. I’d prepared myself for the worst, and was expecting to see nothing, but instead, there it was; a cutie mark plain as day. It certainly put a big old hole in my theory. Clouded eyes and weakness, if I was right, was accompanied by loss of one’s cutie mark as the innate magic from a pony was forcibly removed. But this pony still had his cutie mark. Could I be wrong?
I certainly hoped I was, and it seemed that way. After all, if this pony was a victim of having their magic drained, their cutie mark should be gone too. And more to the point, the only creature capable of such an act was presently locked away in Tartarus, under far greater security than he’d previously been subjected to. And it didn’t tally with the remote draining that Cozy had tried to pull. And besides, that had only affected unicorns.
So what else could cause the symptoms of magic draining? This couldn’t be the big finish already could it? It made sense, it was a rare thing for the Summer Sun Celebration to go off without a hitch. Did this mean we were facing someone new; someone well versed in dangerous and long forgotten dark magic. The Pony of Shadows maybe? It couldn’t be Sombra; he was definitely dead. And it couldn’t be Tirek or Cozy; the Tree of Harmony itself had woven their bonds. Chrysalis was still in play, but she didn’t have the skills needed to do something like this. Conversely, could we be looking at a case of love starvation caused by excessive feeding? No, Chrysalis was weakened, she wouldn’t strike somewhere so exposed.
As my mind continued to come up with increasingly outlandish theories, the Royal Guard’s physician arrived on the scene, along with two medics with a stretcher. He quickly tended to the unfortunate stallion. After examining him for a few moments, he pronounced his diagnosis.
“Looks like a bad case of food poisoning,” he declared, wrapping his stethoscope around his shoulders again. “Let’s get him to the infirmary.”
The two guards carefully got him on the stretcher. Of course, this new diagnosis, while not only not sitting quite right with me, also had the effect of, you know, causing a minor panic. Ponies quickly began to scatter hither and thither crying to high heaven that some of the baked goods had turned into baked bads. We pretty much lost half the catering staff for the celebration, and nopony in all of Canterlot would be willing to touch anything we cooked.
But, as a wise man once said; ‘Still, could be worse’.
A short while later, the guards came back and told us to clear down and hold off on cooking until the source of the contamination could be identified. So we were left with very little to really do, apart from clean up and, in true British fashion, hurry up and wait. Since we were more or less alone though, and away from more anxious ears, I decided to voice my concerns to Dad.
“Did you see his eyes?” I asked him as I put away a couple of trays. Dad turned back to me, setting aside his own work.
“What about them, Bones?” he replied, sounding only half interested. I explained the unusual symptoms the pony had had. But he shrugged it off, at least at first.
“Well, he was delirious,” Dad countered “It’s a common enough symptom with a bad case of food poisoning.”
“Food poisonin’ wouldn’t lay a pony out in less than five minutes,” I countered. “Besides, we’ve both eaten this stuff too, remember? If this was a case of Baked Bads, that feller wouldn’t have just passed out like that. He’d have felt unwell before, started sweatin’, then gotten woozy. Instead he just fell down almost out cold. And did ya see how weak he was; poor guy could hardly lift his head.”
“What’s your point?” Dad asked me.
“Ah’m sayin’,” I shot back. “That there’s only one thing that can knock an earth pony down, cause glazed eyes and severe weakness, and that’s having their magic drained.”
Dad went silent for several moments as he considered what I’d said, and the resulting implications. At first he tried to downplay what I’d said, putting it down to paranoia. I countered that I’d done plenty of work to try and beat magic draining spells, so I knew what the damn thing looked like. Still, he remained unconvinced. It wasn’t until three more ponies went down, with identical symptoms that he began to come around.
After all, none of them had eaten anything for the last hour. He quickly told me to follow him. We’d go and find Celestia and Luna and sound an alarm. We were already in trouble if Tirek had enough magic to drain earth ponies. Presumably, he’d be able to do the same to pegasi, to say nothing of unicorns. But alicorns, maybe not just yet. Tirek is like a fire, tackled in time, he presents no threat. And it was time to switch on the halon.
Getting to the castle however, proved no easy task. We were down in the lower half of the city at the moment. To get to the castle, we’d have to go through the main square, where the ceremony would take place, past the second stage ,where the unicorns would be performing their light show, and then finally up through the public gardens to the castle itself. Ordinarily, I’d say it would take ten minutes, less if we ran. Tonight though, it seemed as though we were to face one disaster after another.
It was bad enough that Tirek was somehow out and on the loose. How I still had no idea. The cage they threw him in was crafted by the Tree of Harmony itself. Nothing just blows through that. Tirek had taken pretty much all the magic in Equestria, and the Elements had still blown him away. So how, with only his own miniscule magic to call on, had he managed to get free, never mind how he’d managed to get strong enough to be dangerous. No disrespect to the steroid freak with rage issues, but if Discord hadn’t helped him, I’d have given him, at most, ten minutes. If he thought he could pull the same trick twice, he was stupider than I gave him credit for.
It was while I was trying to work all this out, that the weather changed. Given how this whole celebration was built around watching the moon set and the sun rise, the skies were, by order of the princesses themselves, to be kept clear. As I said before, a whole squadron of weather patrol ponies had been drafted in, including the Wonderbolts, who’d be giving a display after the sunrise. So how, with all that pony power on hoof, was I suddenly now finding myself getting soaked in a torrential downpour?
The wind quickly picked up too, gusting hard enough to cause problems for the pegasi above us, who were now scattering and trying to get the storm under control. The wind howled and tore at us both, and I had to press my hat down on my head with a hoof just to stop it blowing away. In the end, to try and avoid drowning, I threw up a basic shield spell around the two of us that kept most of the weather out. They might not work against petrifying gasses, but they worked just fine against heavy rain. The wind was another matter, but it was better than nothing. As we made our way up the hill, the rain turned to thunder, and a bolt of lightning struck a nearby lamppost, sending the glass shattering everywhere.
“You think this is Tirek too?” Dad asked over the wind. I shook my head.
“No!” I replied. “Even with pegasi magic, he never tried controlling the weather. This feels more like a rogue storm, like during the Storm King’s invasion.”
Now there was a bad guy who I knew, like Sombra, was definitely dead. I’d seen his remains and ‘verified’ him myself. At least we didn’t have to worry about that psychotic twit coming back.
High above us, we saw Rainbow Dash, along with the lead elements of the Wonderbolts, go charging into the maelstrom to try and regain control. I figured that they’d be able to do it, assuming whatever had caused it wasn’t still active. I quietly hoped that it was just a bad coincidence.
As we reached the showgrounds, where the unicorn display team was supposed to be performing, the rain eased off. The storm, as severe as it was, seemed to be confined to a fairly small area of Canterlot. As we entered the place though, I was surprised to see the team themselves coming the other way, with their bags seemingly packed. While I did my best to dry out my poor weather battered stetson, Dad went to talk with them to see what the crack was. He got quite the surprising response when he asked them where they were going. Apparently, they were buggering off.
“As if we unicorns are going to waste our potential giving some humdrum little light show to a gaggle of dullard earth ponies,” the one in charge, Fire Flare I believe her name was, said haughtily.
Now, you might recall, my girlfriend is an earth pony, so are many of my good friends. And to hear some stuck up precious little bitch come out with that, particularly after all the progress that had been made with interspecies relations after the Storm King incident...well, it just rubbed me the wrong way. Stepping in front of my dad, and pushing him one side, I got in her face and made my displeasure known.
“And just what is that supposed to mean?” I demanded, bristling.
Fire Flare replied with something that could have come straight out of the mouth of Chancellor Neighsay once upon a time. Had she been a stallion, and my dad not been there to stop me, there would have been no question of my giving her a smack on the mouth then and there. As it was, it took a great deal of effort to restrain myself and remember the old maxim that an officer and a gentleman doesn’t strike a lady. Even if this particular example wasn’t very lady-like in her manners. The trio brushed their way past us and stalked off, leaving the both of us stunned.
Now where in the name of Celestia had all that come from? The three tribes have worked together harmoniously for millennia, since before the reign of the Two Sisters. Okay, you got the odd pony who didn’t care for one tribe, or maybe held his own in a higher regard. But why would these ponies, unicorns or not (I know they can be the most stuck up of the three tribes), suddenly start acting as if Hearth’s Warming had never happened.
This was getting stranger and stranger, first someone, possibly Tirek, attacks ponies, but doesn’t take all their magic. Then the weather goes haywire. And now the very bonds between the three tribes seemed to be breaking down, and ponies who normally got on fine with one another were developing superiority complexes.
This was definitely more than just a minor hiccup. This felt like a damned finale episode in the show. Were we facing some new threat? Or was it all just a strange coincidence? Either way, the princesses and the Elements needed to be alerted to the danger. The two of us pressed up up the hill and soon made our way into the castle.
Things only got worse as we made our way inside. While nothing seemed to have disturbed Twilight and the other princesses, it was clear from the get go that something was seriously wrong. The first guard post we came across, which ought to have stopped us and done a security check on us, was deserted. A quick check around soon explained why, as I found the both guards unconscious not too far away; out of sight and out of mind. It looked like whoever, or whatever, had grabbed them had done so by the classic tactic of drawing one guard off to investigate, leaving his companion vulnerable, and then doing the same to him when he returned. Oddly though, their magic was still perfectly intact. They were just unconscious.
“Ya know,” I said as I tried to rouse one of the guards. “This don’t feel like Tirek at all. This kind of cloak and dagger work reads more like changeling.”
Tirek was many things, but subtle he was not. If he was powerful enough to drain earth ponies, he was capable of taking on a couple of guards. Why would he use stealth and then just knock them out? Waiting in the shadows until your opponent had his back to you was how those bugs operated, or at least how they used to.
That threw up another possible theory. Tirek was locked away, sure, but Chrysalis wasn’t. To my mind, she’s the only villain still out there, and remains one of the most dangerous we’ve ever faced. Even without her army to call on, her own magic was impressive and had enabled her to elude any attempt to track her down.
Could it be she’d managed to somehow augment her abilities? Draining love wasn’t too different from draining magic. Both were a form of energy. From what we understood of her species, it would certainly be possible. Sweet Celestia, could that be what was happening? Could it be that Chrysalis had been in hiding all this time, plotting her revenge, learning new magic? If so it made her doubly dangerous. Feeding on love as she did could vastly increase her magical power. And as we’d seen with the second incursion, it was possible to forcibly drain somepony of their love. What if she combined the two spells somehow? What if she’d found a way to drain a pony of their love and their magic? If true, I’m not sure even all the alicorns combined could stand against her. Tirek might have been dangerous, but there was still a limit to his abilities. With that much power, Chrysalis would be like a goddess.
Luckily, before I could truly start panicking, my dad chipped in with a different, and ultimately correct, theory.
“They’re working together,” he said softly as he tended to the other guard. I thought him absurd.
“Right,” I replied. “Because Tirek plays so well with others.”
That was after all what had finally brought him down. Betraying Discord might have temporarily given him more magic, albeit magic that he couldn’t properly access without losing his marbles, never mind use with any design or intent, but it had also turned his former ally against him. After all, it was Discord who put the girls on to their Rainbow Power which sent him packing. He certainly seemed to have learned from that mistake with Cozy, although he still clung to self-interest when push came to shove. Could he have learned a thing or two; somehow convinced her to bust him out?
But what were they planning? He helps her get the hive back, she helps him take down a common foe, maybe go after the minotaurs? Dad however, just dropped another bombshell.
“It does if it serves his agenda,” he said gravely. “And Chrysalis and Cozy would be able to help him get into the city. He’s the muscle, they’re the brains.”
That threw me for a loop, and he was just getting started. In as condensed a form as he could, he explained it all to me. This was all told to him partly by the Tree, and partly by a certain somepony who was about to become the first draconequus in history to have his balls ripped off if I had anything to say about it.
Discord, in the guise of the pretty much mythical Grogar, had broken Tirek and Cozy out of Tartarus, plucked Chrysalis from her hidey hole, and brought Sombra back from oblivion. He proposed an alliance; they all work together to defeat Twilight and destroy Equestria. Sombra didn’t bite and went solo, and we saw how that turned out. The others all agreed to work with Grogar and each other.
Now, why was Discord betraying Equestria and everypony he cared about? Didn’t he learn his lesson the last time he tried that crap? Well, as he saw it he wasn’t actually betraying us. In his own twisted way, he was actually trying to be helpful. His plan was to use these three insane nutjobs to pose just enough of a threat to give Twilight a real challenge. When she defeated them, she’d have renewed confidence in herself and her ability to lead. And if anything did go wrong, as the undisputed master of chaos, he had a ready kill switch if things did start to get out of hoof.
I listened to my old man’s story in stunned silence and quietly boiling rage. After all, that meant that Discord was at least partly responsible for Sombra doing what he did, mind controlling me and all my friends, destroying the Tree of Harmony, and putting all of the princesses in danger. Putting Luna in danger! Depriving us of our greatest defence! All to help give Twilight more ‘confidence’!
On the other hoof, it was interesting to learn that Grogar actually was real, rather than the myth I’d previously thought him to be. But that was beside the point.
“Okay,” I said with false cheerfulness. “You go find the princesses. Ah’m gonna go find Discord and see how long he can survive without a head.”
Luckily, Dad stopped me and talked me down. Ironically, he had to use my own logic and reasoning against me. While we could step in now, and alter events from what would be depicted in the show, that would also have the effect of removing the guarantee of a positive outcome. We’d be breaking canon. Good only triumphs over evil if we follow the story. Sometimes, that meant sitting on the sidelines, when it was possible to intervene, and allowing the bad guys to flaunt a bit. Just as with Starfleet’s Prime Directive, my own decision not to intervene has often been a difficult one to stick to. Celestia knows I’d have loved to have taken Chrysalis down a peg before all this. Then again, one on one, Sombra did wipe the floor with me.
The only upside is that there was nothing stopping us from alerting the princesses that something was going on. We were still the only ones who knew, at least roughly, what was really happening. I later learned from Applejack that each incident was put down to far more mundane causes; bad ingredients, a falling out, miscommunication with the weather teams. They wouldn’t know what happened until months later, when Dad and I finally broke our omerta.
Still, the two of us ended up arguing. I wanted to tell at least Celestia and Luna what was going on, to enable us to prepare a fallback option. Dad however, insisted on radio silence, and only telling them that something was up in the city. As we continued to go around in circles, we were joined by the cause of the current crisis.
“Ooh,” Discord said in excitement, having materialised behind the two of us. “Can I help?”
For once, Discord’s sudden appearance didn’t send me rocketing skywards in fright. And as much as I may love Equestria’s Q, I was still furious with him. This wasn’t the first time he’d done something this stupid.
Several moons ago…
I stood in the empty fields, glaring at Discord, an equally mad Twilight and my dad along with AJ and several other disgruntled ponies standing either side of me. Around us were all sorts of metal and debris, as well as several curious bits of technology that glowed an ominous green colour. This was all that remained of the terrifyingly large, cube shaped vessel that a certain draconequus had decided to conjure up, or rather, pull from its own reality, taking in from one supposedly fictional universe to another.
It was partly my fault and partly my dad’s fault. I said how much Discord could be like Q from Star Trek at times, right down to his voice actor in the show. That then led Discord to talking with my dad about Star Trek; both of us are big fans of pretty much all of the shows. That in turn led to discussions about the Q, Klingons, Romulans, and the various other hostile races of the galaxy.
Including the most dangerous one, which Discord decided to bring in in order to let us see one up close and fight them like we were playing one of his O&O games. Luckily, Twilight had been able to get things under control before we were all vaporised, or worse. That left my dad to do the telling off.
Pulling Discord’s head down so that he was nose to nose with him, he looked him straight in the eye.
“Discord,” he said softly, letting his anger boil over. “If Celestia and I have told you once, we've told you a thousand times. DON’T! PROVOKE! THE BORG!”
Back in the present...
The two of us looked at Discord with no small amount of disdain. I might like him sometimes. In fact, at times he can be a genuinely nice guy. But then there were times he was like this. He still has a ways to go when it comes to understanding friendship, but at least he was heading in the right direction. Still, he didn’t quite seem to get why we were both giving him the evil eye.
“What?” he asked in confusion.
“Discord,” my dad said. “Your little psychology test and Twilight confidence building exercise is running around out there causing havoc. Any idea why?” Discord simply shrugged his shoulders and utterly failed to convince either of us.
“How should I know?” he replied. “I haven’t told them to do anything ever since I sent them off to try and find that bell thingy. Now I have to find some other ancient artifact for them to use to make them actually dangerous and pose some degree of threat.”
Discord’s plan had undergone a few modifications since he started. When Sombra refused to fall in line, as most megalomaniacs tend to do, he used him as a test case, letting him run amok, while still keeping a weather eye on how things were going, stepping in at the last moment when Twilight needed one more little nudge. After that though, he’d come up with something even more stupid. Even together, Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy weren’t much of a threat. Tirek had virtually no magic, Chrysalis was no match for two alicorns, and Cozy was nothing but a pegasus filly. He needed to make them more dangerous, and a credible threat.
So he’d sent them off to Mount Everhoof. As far as I knew, the forbidding looking mountain was pretty much deserted, apart from the odd occasion some overconfident mountaineer tried to climb it. As it turned out though, it was also used as a vault for the Bewitching Bell; the enchanted object Grogar used to both store and augment his own already powerful magic. It had been his downfall, as when Gusty the Great stole it from him, he lost virtually all of his magic and was easily defeated. If the stories about Grogar were true, that magic held in the bell was almost as powerful as chaos magic, certainly a match for anything but a blast from the Elements of Harmony.
The quest though had ended in failure, or so Discord thought. He really ought to have kept a closer eye on his little team of a sociopath, a lunatic and a retard. As far as he knew, they’d been unable to retrieve the bell. Thinking the same, Dad and I came to the same conclusion; they were looking for some other source of power. To describe his scheme as cavalier was a great understatement.
“So you set those three loose on Equestria, and ya don’t even know what they’re planning?” I exclaimed.
“Well, if I knew it would spoil the surprise,” he replied. “And even if I did, if I tell you, you’ll just go and run off to tell Tia and ruin the whole thing.”
Well he was right on that front. And if he’d bothered to keep an eye on his little project, his plan might have crossed the line from insane to brilliant. Still, it seemed more than a little risky, considering how dangerous any of these were if given time to plan, never mind the fact that they would probably try to stab ‘Grogar’ in the back the first chance they got. Villains after all, don’t do friendship. Both Chrysalis and Cozy had been offered it, only to reject the notion.
“Discord, this isn’t safe,” Dad said sternly, like he did when he was telling me off as a child. “Any of those villains on their own are dangerous enough.”
“But not a match for me,” he replied cockily.
That was true, Discord’s magic could put even the likes of Celestia and Luna to shame. While they took a conscious effort to raise and lower the sun and moon, he could do it with a snap of his talons, and at a mile a minute to boot. He reinforced this by snapping into existence one of those flying pigs of his, which quickly fluttered off to go and make friends with the geese, who now, rather strangely, acted as security for the castle. The hallway soon filled with a terrible mixture of oinking and honking.
“Even if they do get out of hoof,” Discord went on, “I can have them back in Tartarus in moments. And that’s assuming they don’t turn on each other first. They really do hate each other, remember.”
I started to come around, at least to this part of the scheme. There was no way we could convince the idiot to put those fruit loops back where he found them, and even if they did, they now knew of each other and might very well try something in the future if left unattended. It certainly didn’t make sense to turn Chrysalis loose again.
“He does have a point there, Dad,” I agreed a little reluctantly. “I still think what he’s doin’ is dangerous, but he’s got a kill switch ready, and we’ve both seen how well Tirek handles alliances, never mind Chrysalis.”
“So what, you think we should just let this play out?” Dad asked me in surprise.
“I say we keep tabs on ‘em, but yeah,” I replied with a nod. “This is Equestria, Dad; they were screwed from minute one. Worst case scenario, they end up in Tartarus. Who knows, this whole mutual cooperation thing Discord has them doin’ might even prompt reformation. This could all end with the last three outstanding bad guys either on our side or dealt with permanently.”
After all, it had worked out fine with Sombra. He was genuinely dangerous, but with Discord on our side, he’d only lasted for as long as the draconequus found him amusing. This was, partly, what Celestia had wanted when she suggested reforming Discord. This was something along the lines of him using his magic for good. Dad however, despite being alleged best friends with Discord, remained less than convinced.
“I still want to know what they were doing,” he persisted. “I can take letting Discord’s plan play out, but I want to know every move. I certainly don’t want my wife or children subjected to mind control or worse.”
Actually, that was a good point. It was alright knowing that whatever was going to happen would turn out our way, but it would be even better if we had a play by play script on hoof. And it would make everything just a little less terrifying. Fictional or not, children's’ villains or not, Chrysalis and Tirek were still pretty damn scary in person.
“Well then,” Discord said, that teasing tone coming back into his voice.. “In that case I suggest you direct your attention to the archives, in particular the restricted section. Ta!”
And with that, he snapped his talons and vanished a la Q. Well, at least it wasn’t a riddle this time.
Discord’s hint turned out to be right on the money. I just wish he’d kept a closer eye on them. Then he might have realised what was coming his way. I honestly sometimes wonder if he did and let things go the way they did for the sheer chaos it would cause for everypony. After all, his confidence building exercise would be useless if Twilight ever found out about it. As events turned out, it certainly did boost her confidence in the end, albeit more by luck than judgement.
Heading deeper into the castle, Dad and I soon made our way to the archives. I’ve been here a couple of times myself, with Twilight vouching for me. They don’t let just anypony in here; you need direct consent from the princesses to enter the restricted section. All sorts of texts on outlawed dark magic, long dead foes, dangerous spells and artifacts were in here, under lock and key.
Or at least, they were supposed to be. Arriving on the scene, in what could be only a few scant minutes behind our foes, we found the lock burst, and the place turned upside down. Somepony was looking for something, and had gone right through the archives to find it. The question was what. There were any number of dangerous spells, artifacts, or other phenomena chronicled here that would give those three an edge. But we needed to know what it was.
Well, there was only one thing for it, and that was to try and identify what, if anything, was missing. I hunted around for the catalogue, pausing to take a look outside as I did so. The situation outside seemed to have stabilised. The weather was under control, the ponies that had lost their magic or rather ‘suffered severe food poisoning’ had recovered (Tirek had returned their magic in order to prevent his new master becoming suspicious, and the unicorns had been half talked and half strong armed back into their show.
If gaining access to the archives was their true objective, then the random actions outside the castle now made sense. They were distractions, keeping everypony off balance while they broke in and made their move. Now if only we knew what that was. I was startled out of my thoughts when Dad called over to me.
“Hey, Bones,” he called out. “See if you can find ‘ On the Bewitching Bell’ anywhere. Given what we know, there’s a good chance that’s what they may have been after.”
I’d not seen it so far, and made a quick check of all the books I’d gathered up. It wasn’t here.
“No sign of it, Dad,” I replied. “You think they took it?” Dad nodded.
“Makes sense they would,” he said. “Discord said they couldn’t retrieve the bell when he sent them to Mount Everhoof. Maybe they’ll use this as a way to overcome whatever it is that’s protecting it. In any case, we better report this to the guard and Celestia. But keep quiet about this whole Grogar business until I say otherwise.”
Damn this sodding non-interference. Even with the limited information we had, we were in a position to stop whatever mess was on the horizon. But the risk of unforeseen consequences was just too great. Nothing would give me greater pleasure to blow the lid off this whole affair, have all three villains, and the one insane psychopath, stopped before they could do any more damage. It nearly drove me mad knowing those three had been skulking around the nation’s capital undetected. It was like watching ‘A Canterlot Wedding’ all over again, knowing that love stealing whore was disguised as Cadence. At least then I had the luxury of a screen blocking my way.
Still, at least he had an idea (albeit a wrong one) about what they were up to, and before we went to Celestia to report what had happened, we paused to watch the final Summer Sun Celebration. Or, as Twilight now renamed the holiday, the first Festival of the Two Sisters.
I just hoped it wouldn’t be the last.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
I'm enjoying writing these longer chapters with two or three plots in each month. Do you guys prefer this style, or shorter, more numerous chapters?
I came to with a start, woken from my peaceful slumber by an unsettling wail. After coming to for a moment, I threw the covers off with my magic and got up to investigate. I had a pretty good idea what was going on, but it pays to be sure.
Squinting for a moment, I let my eyes adjust to the dark. There was a decent crescent moon tonight, which was streaming moonlight into my room. It was enough to see by in any case. Just to be safe though, and to avoid tripping up over anything that I might have left lying around (I’m not exactly the tidiest of ponies when I get caught up in one of my little projects), I lit up my horn, adding a bright, light blue glow to things, and casting shadows throughout the room.
As I got myself situated, I heard the eerie wailing again. It was coming from outside, somewhere off in the orchards. But indoors, with the windows shut, even my more sensitive equine ears couldn’t pinpoint the source, or clearly identify it. So, trotting over to the window, I pushed the lower half up, letting in the cool night air and causing me to briefly shiver as my body adjusted from being in my nice warm bed. For a moment, everything was silent, and I thought that I might have just been dreaming, but then it came again. My ears quickly pivoted around, searching for the direction. It was coming from the Everfree alright, and it was a howl, several in fact.
I smiled to myself, feeling like the kid who’d stayed up all night waiting for Father Christmas and having actually managed to catch sight of him. The timberwolves were howling. Those strange, malevolent wooden wolves, held together by the dark magic that was prevalent in the Everfree Forest. Usually, they gave the farm a wide berth, only very rarely coming out of the woods when food was scarce. They usually only howled to communicate. This though, with all of them howling, it was excitement. Their innate connection to magic was whipping them up into a frenzy.
I could feel it too, albeit only faintly. It was a bit like standing around when a thunderstorm rolled in. You could feel the energy in the air, and knew that before long, lightning was going to strike somewhere close. To the wolves though, it was like catnip, or whatever the equivalent is to wooden canines. No doubt now they were all racing through the woods in excitement, howling as they went.
Now, why was I so interested in wolves howling at two in the morning? Well, it was simple, the howling of the timberwolves was the first sign that Zap Apple season was upon us. We’d all been waiting a couple of weeks now, looking and listening for the first sign that the trees were preparing to bear fruit. The strange rainbow coloured apples made a fine jam, which due to its rarity, could earn us quite a tidy profit, thanks to the long standing deal between Granny Smith and Filthy Rich’s forebears.
It turned out though, that I wasn’t the only one who’d been woken by the noise. Sweet Apple Acres’ venerable matriarch, the expert on Zap Apples, had also stirred and was now determined to make sure everypony knew that the season was upon us.
Cue the sound of pots, pans, and spoons being banged together like some unholy orchestra. My ears went flat against my skull in an effort to try and blot out the sound. Outside my door, I heard her running back and forth in the hall, and a moment later run down the stairs and out into the farmyard.
“The timberwolves are howlin’! The timberwolves are howlin’!” she exclaimed like an Equestrian Paul Revere.
To be fair, there was a method to her madness, a phrase that can be applied to most of the seemingly odd things Granny Smith does. With the zap apples and the magic whipped them up into a frenzy, the timberwolves could sometimes get a little cocky. Usually, like their flesh and blood counterparts, they give civilisation a wide berth. I’ve run into timberwolves when I’m out near the Everfree on more than a few occasions, and nine times out of ten, if they spot you, they’ll maybe size you up for a moment, and then decide you’re not worth the trouble and run back into the brush. But when they were in this condition, they were much bolder. So, you needed to do something to startle them out of their high and ensure they didn’t come too near the sheep, cattle, pigs, or chickens, never mind us. That was what Granny was doing; making as much noise as she could, waking us all up, and also spooking the wolves and convincing them to continue giving ponies a wide berth.
As I continued to listen, I heard the window to my right open up; Big Mac’s room. A moment later, the red stallion appeared, a night cap perched atop his head, and Smarty Pants perched between his shoulders. He quickly spotted Granny Smith running about the farmyard. A moment later, the opposite window opened; Apple Bloom’s room, and both Apple Bloom and AJ appeared, the latter having gone to her sister’s room to check on her when she heard the commotion.
“The zap apples are comin’! The zap apples are comin’!” Granny Smith continued to holler as she banged the saucepan and spoon together making loud clanging noises.
Meanwhile, the howling of the timberwolves began to die away. They were still howling their heads off, but were now moving off, deeper into the Everfree. The innate magic in the trees would go dormant again before long, and they’d calm down, at least until the second sign some time tomorrow. For us though, the excitement was just starting.
“Alright! It’s zap apple season!” Apple Bloom exclaimed excitedly.
“It sure is, sugarcube,” Applejack agreed. “You lookin’ forward to it, Bones?”
“As long as I don’t have to wear another bunny costume this year!” I called back. “I reckon Big Macintosh and I will stick to harvestin’ the trees once they’re ready.”
“Eeyup!” Big Mac concurred.
“Come on, y’all!” Applejack instructed. “It’s too late to think about goin’ back to bed now. We’ll get Granny Smith back indoors and then we can start preparin’ for the harvest.”
And so we did. Applejack was right anyhow. Considering that life on the farm usually has us getting up at around five in the morning most days, there was little point in going back to bed. More to the point, from now on, until the end of the zap apple harvest, we needed to make every second count. We now had only a few days before the zap apples would be ripe and safe to harvest. From there, we had only a couple of days to complete the harvest, before any remaining zap apples would vanish just as they had magically appeared.
Now, I’m many things, but a botanist is not one of them. However, given my interest in magic, I had made a small study of this unusual bit of Equestrian flora. The trees, for the most part, bear a strong resemblance to the common or garden apple tree. But unlike their less magically imbued counterparts, zap apple trees remain bare throughout most of the year. While the rest of the orchard blooms, and while the other trees are ripe for harvesting, the zap apple trees remain bare, except for perhaps two weeks in the middle of summer.
From what I gleaned from Granny Smith, the zap apples were first discovered by her forebears when Celestia first gave them the land that would eventually become Sweet Apple Acres, as well as Ponyville. They grew on the periphery of the Everfree Forest, and some wild zap apple trees continue to grow there. As luck would have it, the Apples arrived and planted the strange seeds just as they were reaching the peak of their growth cycle. Trees sprouted and matured in mere moments, and in a few short days, they yielded fruit. But just as quickly, they would vanish again, remaining dormant for another year. Originating from the Everfree meant that their magic was wild magic, as I’ve come to call it; undirected and unpredictable. Their most likely origin is the mixture of such wild magic with the common apple tree, creating a new magical subspecies. However, I still have no clue about why their growth cycle has been both accelerated and condensed so greatly when compared to a typical apple tree.
But, as the saying goes, you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Zap apple jam is second only to cider in terms of popularity. To be fair, it does taste delicious and goes great with pretty much everything. Mum even made a fantastic rainbow Victoria sponge cake last year with it. In fact, by the time Granny Smith came on the scene, the stuff had become so popular, and the Apples had so established themselves in the area, that they were able to set up quite the beneficial contract.
Now, just to be clear. I don’t dislike Filthy Rich per se. I did despise his daughter once upon a time, and I remain steadfast in my opinion that his wife is a complete and utterly irredeemable bitch, and consequently that he has an appalling taste in mares. But he himself I have no problem with. He runs his modest business; Barnyard Bargains reasonably well, hasn’t become quite as stuck up as his wife is and his daughter once was, and is a genuinely caring father. And if nothing else, every year, in exchange for a fair portion of the zap apple harvest, and in particular zap apple jam, the stallion gives us a shed load of bits that helps see us through the winter. Having said that though...well, as Frank Pentangeli said;’ Your father did business with Hyman Roth. Your father respected Hyman Roth. But your father never trusted Hyman Roth!’. And so it is with Filthy. Celestia knows if he could get his hooves on some zap apple trees, he’d terminate our little standing agreement double quick. He tried it once apparently, many moons ago, when Bright Mac was still around. Needless to say, he’s never tried it since.
But back to the present. We all had work to do, and as of now, we were on the clock. There was a lot to do, and only twenty four hours in the day to do it. After a quick breakfast and plenty of strong coffee we headed out. The first job was fairly simple; set up the baskets around each of the zap apple trees. This was, when it came time to harvest, we could just start bucking away at each tree. The zap apple orchard is fairly small, so we had enough baskets to cover all the trees in preparation.
As ever we split up to cover more ground. Although in the dark, I couldn’t help but feel like we were walking into a horror film. In the darkest hours before dawn, Sweet Apple Acres, and particularly the bare trees in the zap apple orchards, can look quite foreboding. Still, at least I was with Applejack. And in every horror film, the blonde always survives, so I figured I was fairly safe. AJ and I would set up one part of the orchard, Big Mac another, and Granny Smith and Apple Bloom the last one.
My being on hoof allowed AJ the luxury of leaving the lanterns for Mac and Granny. My own horn gave of plenty of light, although here, the light blue colour of my magic only increased the eeriness of our surroundings. And this wasn’t just me being paranoid either. There were over excited timberwolves out there after all.
Still, as time wore on, the coming dawn became more and more evident as the reddish glow on the horizon increased, slowly giving us more light to work by. By degrees, it was soon light enough for us to see without me using my horn. Soon enough, the trees around us looked far less unnerving. We’d made decent progress too, considering we were working in the dark for the most part, with only a bit of moonlight and my horn to light our way.
With the baskets all set up around the zap apple trees, we now moved onto the next set of jobs. One of the few disadvantages that comes with making zap apple jam is that you invariably ruin whatever cookware you’re using, so new pots and pans need to be bought specially for making the jam. We also needed to stock up on fresh honey, which was a key ingredient. To accomplish these tasks, Granny Smith took Apple Bloom into Ponyville to buy some fresh cookware, as well as stop by the local apiary to collect honey. Now, Sweet Apple Acres does have its own hives as well mind you. But they don’t produce enough for us to use for the zap apple harvest. Not without starving the hives at any rate. So we supplemented it with honey bought from other apiaries in town. And while Granny Smith was there, I had the task of collecting the take from the farm’s own bees.
Now, just to be clear, I have nothing against bees. They’re a key part of our ecosystem, I love honey, and I always found it alarming how casually people took the alarming nosedive in the bee population back on Earth. However, I’ve never been particularly comfortable around them. It mainly comes down to an incident when it was a child. I saw a bumble bee in my grandma’s garden and was about to poke at it, when she stopped me and told me that bees sting people. The lesson, while intended to teach me that it isn’t a good idea to antagonise bees (after all, in contrast to wasps, who are a nothing less than a shower of bastards, bees rarely bother you if you don’t bother them. Remember, stinging for them is a kamikaze move) instead left five year old me with a strong association with bees and being stung by them. I’ve never been stung in my entire life, but I still get pretty scared around bees. As in I tend to leg it if I see one. So you can understand why I wasn’t too keen on going near the apiary; something I usually left to Applejack.
This year though, I had determined to face up to this groundless fear. After all, in Equestria, bees were far more sapient than their Terran counterparts. I’d be wearing a full beekeeping suit too, and would have a good smoker on hand to calm the bees while the strange white suited giant pinched some of their honey. And, of course, I had Applejack on hoof to help me.
The beehives were effectively a series of pallets, stacked vertically in a small, raised shed, which had openings for bees to fly in and out. At the top of this, which was where you gained access, were the workers and drones. The deeper you went into the hive, the closer you got to the queen. As it was midsummer now, we’d only be taking enough for the jam, and certainly wouldn’t be disturbing the queen.
As we approached the hive, I saw a few bees buzzing around, and could hear the dreadful buzzing from within. I felt more than a little apprehensive. Applejack was quick to reassure me.
“Don’t you worry none, Bones,” she said encouragingly. “This time of day, most of the bees are off lookin’ for nectar. Now I’ll lift the lid on the hive, and you give ‘em a good blast from that smoker you’ve got there.”
The smoker was a small metal can, not unlike a watering jug, with a small hose coming from the top leading to a hand pumped nozzle. Inside the can was a bunch of old newspapers. I’d light them on fire, creating smoke, which I could then pump out into the hive. This would do two things. First, it would calm the bees and stop their natural defence response. When you see bees out on their own or around flowers, they’re actually far less likely to be aggressive; they only get like that when they’re protecting their hive. But in addition to stunning them somewhat, the smoke would convince them that there was fire near the hive, and thus they needed to flee, so they would gorge themselves on honey, making them more docile. All in all, it would make them far less hostile towards us while we’ borrowed’ some of their honey.
Lifting the lid on the smoker, I briefly set off a small spark from my horn. It was more than enough to light the newspapers within. I quickly closed the lid to reduce oxygen and make for a more smokey fire. With the done, AJ and I pulled the veils down on our hats and she removed the lid from the hive.
At once, the buzzing, which was previously only a dull background noise, turned into something that clearly said ‘angry’. The bees knew that something was invading their hive, and quickly went on the attack. I felt the urge to run at the unsettling noise, never mind the modest swarm that now began to buzz around us trying to figure out what we were. Luckily, before I lost my nerve, I felt Applejack at my side.
“It’s okay, sugarcube,” she said softly. “Just give ‘em a whiff of that smoke and they’ll calm down.”
And so I did. Pumping the handle a couple of times with my hoof, I let the smoke fill the air above the hive. The angry buzzing from the swarm around us died down a little, and the bees began to return to the hive. Following up on this, I sprayed the upper layers of the hive too, and before long, the bees, whilst still an unsettling mass of black and yellow that were making a modest racket, seemed to calm somewhat as they began to feed on their stores of honey.
“There we go,” AJ said. “Good job, Bones! Now let’s get to work.”
Carefully, we began to remove four of the six frames. The other two would be left for the bees. We could hardly let the little blighters starve, now could we? Each frame, on both sides, was covered in a white coloured wax. The bees only applied this when they’d filled the area up with honey. And speaking of the bees, they now had to be gently shaken off the frames and returned back to the hive. A few continued to buzz around us, but I felt fairly safe with a full suit on, covering all my exposed hide, as well as a veil stopping them from getting too close to my face. The only bit of me exposed was my horn, and while I could occasionally feel one of them briefly land on it, given that it was solid, they couldn’t sting it even if they wanted to.
With the frames removed, AJ and I first began to scrape away the white wax covering, exposing the golden honey underneath. We had to shoo the odd bee away every now and again, and I made sure to regularly give the hive a bit more smoke to keep them chilled out.
With the wax removed, Applejack brought over an extractor. This large steel, drum shaped contraption, was essentially a centrifuge. You placed the honey laden frames inside, and then, by way of a crank, spun the frames inside. The centrifugal force would extract the honey, without damaging the wax honeycomb itself, saving the bees a lot of work when we replaced the frames. The two of us loaded the four frames inside. Each was stocked to the gills with honey, and would provide more than enough for the zap apple jam we planned to make. Placing the lid back on, AJ began to work the crank, and slowly but surely, fresh honey began to flow from the spout at the bottom. I quickly got a jar in place and slowly but surely we filled up around a dozen or so jars with honey.
After exhausting the supply, we removed the frames and repeated the whole process in reverse. Returning the empty frames to the bees, they quickly now began to crawl over them, eating what honey the extractor missed. As I watched the squirming mass of insects, I couldn’t help but see how similar they were to changelings. After all, size and intelligence aside, they did both originate from the same genus. I wonder, would smoke, properly applied to a changeling hive produce a similar calming effect? While we may be allies now, it has been one of my pet projects to find a way to defend against changeling incursion, and particularly a means by which to locate and neutralise the renegade Chrysalis. Even after all this time, mass screening was not viable with the equipment and magic at our disposal. I wonder, would blasting her in the face with smoke render her drowsy? Or would it send her into a rabid feeding frenzy, draining the love from everycreature around her?
There’s a horrifying thought.
But back to bees. Having replaced the frames in the hive, Applejack and I watched the insects return again. The effects of the smoke were beginning to wear off.
“Not too bad, Bones,” Applejack commended. “For somepony who was scared silly of bees not so long ago, y’all sure have come a long way.” I smiled as I placed the lid back on the hive and removed my hat and veil. It was damn stifling in this heat.
“Yeah, well, I was wearin’ a full protective suit,” I replied, “And we’d got ‘em doped up like anythin’. Really it weren’t….ow!”
I was startled by a sudden sharp pain on my foreleg, the one part of me that was always exposed. Pulling my hoof up, I saw, just above the fetlock, a small little welt, and in the centre, a black stinger. One of the little buggers had stung me. I guess the smoke was starting to wear off and he was pissed that we were so close to the hive.
AJ quickly grabbed the small first aid kit she kept on hoof and set to work carefully removing the stinger. As she did so, I couldn’t help but realise something. It had hardly hurt. My grandmother’s warning had made a bee sting out to be a most painful affair. She’d described it as being the most painful thing she’d ever felt (this was only a few weeks after I got out of hospital after I got badly scalded), so my mind had played it up to be the worst thing imaginable. But it was more like a nettle sting or pin prick. Perhaps a little more painful, but not by much. As Applejack pulled the stringer out, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea that I was ever afraid of such a trivial thing.
As the two of us loaded the jars into a small cart to take back to the house, the sky suddenly turned overcast, and the both of us looked skyward as we heard a rumble of thunder.
We weren’t too far from the zap apple orchards right now. We were close enough to see what was going on at any rate. The trees, flying in the face of basic physics, began to spark with electricity as the air filled with static, instead of charring or burning like they ought to. As the electrical energy raced over their trunks and began to arc between the branches, the first stage of their rapid growth cycle commenced.
Seemingly in an instant, dark green leaves appeared all over the trees. Only a few at first, but in a matter of moments the trees were covered, looking not unlike their cousins, albeit a far darker colour, and in need of a good pruning. Due to their odd nature, the Apples of yore had discovered that Zap Apple trees didn’t take kindly to pruning, or any other maintenance.
“There’s the second sign,” Applejack declared. “C’mon. We best get a move on. Granny and Apple Bloom should be back soon with the new pots and pans. We best get to painting.”
Ah yes, the temporary painting we had to do, all over the kitchen. A lot of the zap apple process is based on the notion that “it worked the last time”. The reasons why zap apples like polka dots, considering they lack higher brain function, or a brain at all, and thus ought to be incapable of liking or disliking anything, is seen as somewhat besides the point. What is important is that when the kitchen is painted all over with polka dots, the zap apple jam tastes better, and we get a better harvest.
I did try to do a full study on zap apples a few years back, with a view to producing a monograph on them. I endeavoured to study their potential origins, their biology, and in general, find out what made them tick. But outside of the harvest time, zap apple trees are most unaccommodating to the budding scientist. Any attempts to run tests of the trees were met with mild electric shocks, and they appeared to not even react to changes in their environment. Like a lot of things born of the wild magic of the Everfree, they were difficult, if not outright impossible to understand. I experienced the same problem when I tried to make a study of Poison Joke. The infernal flowers when subjected to chemical tests would throw out different results each time, and just as with the zap apple trees, appeared to have a will of their own to not be studied.
So, with time, as with Pinkie Sense, I’ve learned to just accept the world as it is presented to me. I cannot explain why zap apples like polka dots, how they like polka dots, or even why polka dots in particular. All I know is that they do.
Hence why, AJ, Big Mac, and I found ourselves busily painting away in the kitchen, covering the walls with polka dots of varying sizes, covering the table with a polka dot table cloth, and even getting Winona to wear a special polka dot coat, so that she looked more like a Dalmatian than a collie.
“Careful, Big Mac,” I said as the stallion inadvertently splashed a dollop of paint on me. “Y’all are gonna have me covered in polka dots if ya ain’t careful.”
Luckily, for obvious reasons, the paint wasn’t waterproof. Once the zap apple jam was made, we’d wash the emerging modern art off of the walls.
“Ya never know,” Applejack replied. “Might be the zap apples like ponies covered in polka dots.”
“No way!” I exclaimed
“Nnope!” Big Mac trumpeted, fully agreeing with me.
“Oh I’m just messin with y’all,” Applejack reassured us teasingly. “You gotta learn to laugh at yourself a little more, Bones. Maybe this year you can help out by singing to the water.”
Oh sweet Celestia herself, no!
“Not in a million moons, Applejack,” I said. “Ain’t no way, no how, y’all are dressin’ me up in a bunny suit and makin’ me hop over waterin’ cans while I sing the alphabet song.”
I don’t usually consider myself a stereotype, but I do fit the bill when it comes to British stuffiness, something I inherited from my dad. I have a Hell of a time letting go, having fun, and laughing at myself, as does he. I remember once, when my dad first started working for Celestia, she hugged him. The old man lightly rebuffed her with the phrase. ‘No hugs please. I’m British. We only show affection to our dogs and our horses’. That made Celestia giggle.
“I don’t see why ya get so wound up about it, Bones,” AJ went on.
“AJ! It’s embarrassin’!” I replied.
“Yeah, so?” she replied. “It’s not like anypony here’s gonna laugh at you. Besides, it ain’t like ya gotta do exactly what Granny Smith does. Singing to the water is meant to give it a bit of music magic. It don’t need to be the same song every time.”
Ah, that was interesting. I had thought that that was where the need for singing came from. Music in Equestria, in case you hadn’t figured it out by way of the synchronised, unrehearsed musical numbers, is a form of magic. Singing to the water gave it a bit of that magic, just as it did ponies. I suppose that helps the zap apple trees grow stronger by giving a boost to their innate magic.
Applejack’s point that the song and consequently costumes didn’t need to be the same though, struck a chord with me. I’m not adverse to performing or acting. Back in high school, I was even in a few plays. I just never could stand stuff that got the audience to laugh at you. Call it partly the national stereotype, and partly the result of childhood bullying. I didn’t fear public performances, I just preferred not to do them.
Well, I’d gotten over a far worse fear earlier today. Perhaps I could use the momentum to break free of another. Celestia knows I would like to be able to cut loose a little more often. It’s certainly one of my more major flaws. Because of it, I don’t dance at Pinkie’s parties, could never get into drama or acting, and in general can come across as having a bit of a stick up my rear end, at least Rainbow Dash thinks so. While there is a time and a place for a stiff upper lip and all that, there was also a time for opening up and learning to laugh at yourself.
And this was one of those times.
Work halted for dinner. We were doing pretty well so far. With Apple Bloom and I helping to boost our overall ponypower, we were well on our way to being ready for the harvest in a couple of days. Tomorrow, we would no doubt see the third sign, when the blossoms would appear on the trees. Tomorrow, our main task would be watering all the zap apple trees, and ensuring they got plenty of nutrition to help them with their rapid growth.
But while watering all those trees on its own would take up most of the day, the dozens of watering cans, all filled to the brim, needed to be imbued with magical energy too. Music magic, as I’ve come to call it, dissipates very quickly, having a very short half life as it were. So it wasn’t as if we could slowly build up reserves in preparation. We needed to energise the water and use it on the day, by sundown at the latest.
Now, normally, I help out watering the trees, but draw the line at singing and dressing up. However, Applejack’s suggestion that we could use different songs and music had given me an idea. While dressing up with rabbit ears and singing the alphabet song was a bit beyond the pale, there were several alternatives I was willing to settle for. It’s not as if I have a bad singing voice either. While I would never make it on the stage, I was quite capable of singing lullabies to Apple Bloom, and routinely would come out with songs while we were working in the fields. That’s what being forced to attend church and sing hymns for fifteen years gets you I suppose.
While I was willing to sing my heart out, Granny Smith however, had pointed out the zap apples also liked the costume side of things. How that’s possible, I have no idea. But as I said before, zap apples are like Pinkie Sense; you just have to accept them.
So, that afternoon, I headed into Ponyville to ask a favour of a friend.
Making my way through the quieter town, as the sun hung low in the sky and ponies retired to their homes, I soon found my way to Carousel Boutique, the home and business of Rarity; Equestria’s foremost fashion designers. While she may typically design for mares, I know in a pinch, she’s willing to expand her horizons. In the past, she’s made me a rather dashing grey shell jacket as part of a Nightmare Night costume. It was getting near to her usual closing time, and I would be quite happy to set the matter aside if she was too busy. The last thing I wanted to do was take advantage of her well known generosity.
Coming to the door, I headed inside, the bell above the door letting out a soft chime as I passed through. I found myself on the shop floor, surrounded by ponyquins (at least I think that’s the right term) wearing some of Rarity’s latest designs. Of the fashionista herself though, there was no sign.
“Just a minute!” I heard her call from somewhere in the back of the store, which also doubled as her home. A moment later, she appeared in the doorway.
She was evidently working on some design or other, since she was sporting those red framed glasses, which have always reminded me of the fiery secretary my dad used to have at his office. She was well known for keeping clients in line. Even some of the nastier regulars, convicted for violent offences, knew not to cheese her off. Luckily, Rarity is rarely that irritable, even when her work consumes her. She looked a little surprised to see me, no doubt expecting a more typical customer.
“Oh, Blade Star,” she said, a small note of surprise in her voice. “What brings you to my humble establishment.”
“A small commission,” I replied kindly as I removed my hat. “If y’all have the time that is. Applejack’s got me roped into singing to the watering cans for the zap apple harvest, and I need a costume.”
“Really?” Rarity said, nonplussed. “I must confess I never understood those strange zap apples. Although the jam is simply divine. What sort of outfit are you looking for?”
“Something reminiscent of the navy, from a couple hundred years ago. A navy tunic, with gold buttons and epaulettes, and a black bicorne hat. I’ve got a jacket you can adapt for it.” Rarity paused and thought for a moment.
“Hmm, ordinarily, I’d be happy to lend a friend a helping hoof,” she said. “But as luck would have it, an old friend has dropped by who might be of even more help. Oh Elusive?”
She turned back to the door she had come from a few moments ago. I recognised the name; Elusive was my dad’s tailor, from Canterlot no less. He operates a fairly well to do, if fairly small, store in a quieter corner of the city. His customers have included Royal Guard officers, nobles, and of course, Equestria’s only human government minister. There’s also a rather peculiar rumour going around that once upon a time, he worked for shadowy GSB, the Griffon Security Bureau; the Griffon Kingdom’s infamous secret police, and may have even been involved with the allegedly non-existent SMILE organisation.
But allegations of double agents and nonsensical hearsay aside, he is renowned as an excellent tailor as shown by my old man’s many impressive suits. What caught me off guard, as he walked in to join us, was his appearance.
He was an older stallion, older than me and probably Rarity, but younger than my dad. I’d say he was probably around Mr Cake’s or Filthy Rich’s age. What surprised me was just how similar he was to Rarity herself. They looked almost like siblings. As with Rarity, he was a unicorn and had a pure white coat, with a purple mane and tail, although his mane was done up in a far more masculine style and had the odd tinge of grey. Even his eyes were somewhat similar, being a striking grey blue that reminded me of a husky dog. His cutie mark, in contrast to Rarity’s though, was a coiled length of measuring tape. Like a lot of Canterlot ponies, he wore clothes as a matter of course, at the moment sporting a deep crimson waistcoat with black velvet at the back ,which offset quite nicely against his white coat. Around his neck was a tape measure, hanging like a stethoscope. Our eyes met as he walked in.
“Yes, Rarity...oh! I didn’t realise you had a guest.”
“Elusive, darling,” Rarity said formally. “This is Blade Star, one my dear friends here in Ponyville.” The stallion came over to shake my hoof.
“Ah yes, you’re Roger’s son, aren’t you?” he said. “You often crop up in conversations when I’m doing alterations for him.”
“Good things I hope?” I replied kindly.
“Oh, but of course, young man. He’s told me quite a bit about your magical studies.” Rarity now gently interjected.
“Blade Star here has something that I think would be suited to your services,” she said.
I briefly summarised the reason for my visit and held up the navy blue coat that I’d selected. Elusive looked it over carefully.
“Hmm, yes,” he said after closely inspecting it for a few moments. “I ought to be just about able to do something with this. I couldn’t perhaps trouble you, Mr Star, to just step in here and let me take your measurements?”
“Sure,” I agreed.
The three of us headed back into Rarity’s work room. Elusive quickly went to work, measuring me all over, taking measurements for my shoulders, forelegs and hind legs, my barrel, chest, and even my collar. He was very quick in his ways though, the tape measure floating through the air in his magic, while a small notepad and pencil in the same jotted down my measurements. A few minutes later, he delivered his verdict.
“Yes,” he said, partly to himself. “I should be able to whip up something suitable for you. Would you be able to come back tomorrow morning? Rarity here has been kind enough to put me up for the night while I’m in town visiting.”
“Sure,” I replied. “It’ll take a while to get everythin’ set up anyway. I’ll swing by as soon as I can.”
With that, I left the apparent twins and headed back up to the farm.
The following morning, I repeated my trip down to Carousel Boutique. Elusive, to his credit, had stayed up a little later than he would have liked, altering the coat, and modifying it as I’d requested it. He was even kind enough to furnish me with a bicorne hat, and standing in front of the mirror on the small dais in Rarity’s shop, I looked every inch as though I’d just stepped off a 38 gun frigate that had pulled into Portsmouth after a long period stationed with the Channel Fleet.
Returning again to Sweet Apple Acres, I found everypony hard at work manning the pumps, to slip into naval parlance, and filling up all the watering cans. There were probably around two dozen or so all together; more than enough for the zap apple trees.
As I returned, Big Mac trotted up to join me. As our resident member of the Ponytones, I’d enlisted him in my little sing song. One of Big Mac’s many good qualities is that he has an undeniably brilliant baritone, and an excellent ear to boot. He provides the bass to every number in the Ponytones, while altos like Rarity provide the high notes. He too had dressed himself up, with a similar blue jacket over a red and white horizontal striped shirt. Atop his head was a straw brimmed hat. All in all, he looked very much like a midshipman of the period too.
“Well, Mac,” I said as I met up with him. “Don’t we both look ridiculous?”
“Eeyup,” he agreed. “But if the zap apples like it, I ain’t gonna complain. I’m just glad I’m not dressing up like a rabbit or something.”
Like me, Big Mac has staunchly stayed well away from singing to the water in the past, neither of us wanting to risk our masculine pride.
“What are we singing anyway?” he asked. I answered his question, with one of my own.
“Have you ever heard of Gilbert and Sullivan, Mac?” I asked. The red stallion paused and thought for a moment.
“I don’t think so,” he said after a moment, shaking his head. “Are they new ponies in town or somethin’?”
I gave Mac a look that could only be described as half pity, and half disgust. To be fair, how could you expect a pony, with little knowledge of another world to know two relatively obscure figures from two centuries ago?
“They’re composers, Mac,” I explained. “From the nineteenth century. This is some music from one of their plays.”
Mac just eyed me and the music suspiciously. Just like me, at times he could be a very reserved kind of pony, and while he had no qualms about public performances, he was a little worried about potential teasing from his sisters and grandmother in the future. Still I brought him up to speed, taught him the lyrics and harmonies. We’d be singing together, and his baritone would come in very handy.
The two of us returned and joined Applejack, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith just as they were finishing up. Applejack had been on the hand pump, while AB and her grandmother carried the watering cans. As we walked up, Applejack, in that wonderful blunt way of hers that comes with being the Element of Honesty, passed judgement on our outfits.
“Land sakes!” she exclaimed with a chuckle. “You two look like you’ve escaped from some high society froufrou party.” Mac snorted.
“Do you want us to sing or not?” I countered. That got her to be quiet.
Granny and AB had lined the watering cans up for us. Since we weren’t playing rabbits, we didn’t need to hop over them, and instead treated them more like an audience.
I’d picked a decent number. I may be a citizen of Equestria these days, but it was still close to my heart and stirred just a touch of patriotic fervour for the old mother country. Plus, I hoped the happy, celebratory sounding tune would please the zap apples. If they like the alphabet song, they ought to love this. As we prepared, unseen instruments began to play as the strange music of magi kicked in. And so, doing my best to look the part in my uniform, I began to sing, with Big Mac helping out.
The positive energy from the music would charge up the water with magic, helping to feed the zap apple trees. It also, I dare say, provided some amusement for AJ and the other mares in the family. She was right though, it is nice to be able to laugh at yourself from time to time.
With the water now ready to go, it was time to fall back to more familiar work and water the trees. Heading briefly back into the farmhouse, I changed out my naval attire and emerged a minute or so later as Blade Star the farmer again, with only my stetson for clothing. A good thing too, since it was getting hotter and hotter as the day drew on.
We all picked up as many watering cans as we could carry. I managed five myself; two slung in the saddlebags, one with the handle held in my mouth, and two floating along in my magic. Between us, we had plenty to water the trees.
The zap apple trees still looked unusually bare for this time of year. Most of the normal apple trees were beginning to form fruit on their branches now, with the blossoms long since having blown away. These trees though, continued to only have a few leaves so far, looking as if it was still early spring. Of course, this didn’t mean anything was amiss with them. This was just how the zap apple trees grew and matured. It was just strange, and perhaps a little unsettling, to see these comparatively bare trees when we were not all that far from Applebuck Season. Still, the leaves they had did at least give us some shade as we made our way through the orchards.
“You know, AJ,” I said, as I used my magic to gently pour water onto the roots of one of the trees. “We ought to consider investin’ in some sort of irrigation system. It sure would make this a whole lot easier.”
Sprinklers and such were a perfectly common occurrence in Equestria, and with the nearby lake, we had an ideal water source. We could run hoses and pipes all through the orchards, maybe even set up some sort of remote control system or timing device to control it all. It would mean a lot of work, but it would be a great help in the long term. It was certainly better than what we were doing now; pumping water at the farmhouse and then carrying watering cans all over the farm.
“That sort of thing’s real expensive, Bones,” she replied. “And it takes an awful lot of work to keep it all goin’. One leak somewhere and we could lose a whole lot of water. And ya know this time of year, that’s real precious resource.”
“I just think it would take up less energy than what we’re doin’ here,” I replied. “I know the Apples value tradition and so forth, but even with five ponies, it’s a whole lot of work just to water the zap apple trees. Think of all the time we’d save with a proper irrigation system.”
“Feller does have a point,” Granny Smith agreed. “Celestia knows I ain’t gettin’ any younger. Only problem is trying to find time to build somethin’ like that. Applebuck Season comes almost right after the zap apple harvest, then we’re onto cider season. Come winter, the ground’s too hard to dig and install all that stuff without riskin’ a pipe burstin’ somewhere from the frost. And by the time Winter Wrap Up rolls around, we’re back to gettin’ everything ready for the summer again.”
“Why not just get a few ponies to help out in the spring?” Apple Bloom suggested. “Or get some of the Apple family down here to help. We could maybe make it somethin’ to do at the reunion.”
“Now there’s an idea!” I agreed.
The reunion happened between the zap apple harvest and Applebuck Season. It was only a short affair of a couple days, but if those ponies could completely rebuild the barn in that time, why not do this. At the very least, with their help we could get the hard part of digging the ditches and laying the main pipes done. After that, we could work on it as and when, having it ready for the next spring.
As we continued to chat about this latest improvement to Sweet Apple Acres, and Granny Smith went off on a tangent about how watering cans were once seen as black magic, we were interrupted as a storm began to brew overhead.
Seemingly out of nowhere, dark storm clouds gathered, covering the sky in an endless grey. A strong wind kicked up too. It was unusually chilly for this time of year and made me steel myself against it. The branches of the zap apple trees bowed and rocked in the wind, while the leaves rustled around us. Up in the sky, we saw a flock of crows fly overhead, crowing ominously. All in all, it was a very Gothic scene, reminiscent of something Edgar Allen Poe might write.
A moment later, and the trees all buzzed with that same electrical energy as before. Here we are; this was the third sign. A moment later, the apple blossoms appeared in the branches, as if spring had suddenly returned in the middle of July.
“There’s the third sign!” Applejack declared as the storm clouds vanished as suddenly as they had come. “We ought to see the fourth by tonight I reckon. Well, at least we’re pretty much ready now for the harvest. What do y’all say to takin’ a break?”
“Eeyup!” Big Mac said solemnly.
That evening found me perched on the edge of Apple Bloom’s bed, the little filly herself tucked in and fairly tired, but still demanding a bedtime story from yours truly. I think she likes just how removed they are from Equestria, so different, and almost alien, and yet can at the same time be so familiar. I’d switched out Bible stories this evening for something a little different, albeit still with morals and messages.
I’d told her a few stories of El-ahrairah before, and she’d loved them. Even more curiously, Fluttershy’s evil pet, on interview, seemed to recognise them, suggesting that they were another point of overlap between our two worlds.
Now, for those of you unfamiliar, allow me to explain. El-ahrairah (pronounced ella-hrare-rah, with hrair rhyming with fair and the emphasis on syllables following the phrase ‘never say die’) is a rabbit folk hero, at least according to Richard Adams in his book Watership Down. In the rabbit creation myth, El-ahrairah was the first rabbit, and hailed as the prince of all rabbits. His people overpopulated the world, prompting the sun god, Frith, to create the enemies, or elil to use the Lapine, of rabbits, such as foxes, dogs, badgers, hawks, and stoats. His name is a contraction of the words elil (meaning enemy), hrair (any number beyond four, in this context a thousand), and rah (a suffix denoting authority, such as Lord). Translated into literal English, or Ponish, he is the Prince with a Thousand Enemies. And he’s always one step ahead.
To rabbits, El-ahrairah is like Robin Hood, and through clever tricks and cunning schemes he has saved his people time and again. He continues to inspire his descendants to this day with tales of his many adventures, from the ludicrous, such as The King’s Lettuce, to the downright terrifying, like El-ahrairah and the Black Rabbit of Inlé.
That particular story, along with The Hole in the Sky, I reserve solely for Nightmare Night. But there are plenty of others that are far less scary and make for good stories. Tonight though, I let Apple Bloom pick, since she was the one who’d asked for a tale of El-ahrairah.
“Okay, Apple Bloom,” I said as I made myself comfortable. “What story do you want to hear? Rowsby Woof and the Fairy Wogdog? Or maybe The Trial of El-ahrairah?”
“The Blessing of El-ahrairah” Apple Bloom replied, yawning a little.
Ah, the rabbits’ creation myth. The story of how El-ahrairah and his people overpopulated the land and angered Frith, the sun god, prompting him to bring forth the elil; the thousand enemies of rabbits. Settling down, I began to retell the old story to Apple Bloom.
Seeing the danger he had put himself in, and fearing for his people, El-ahrairah fled and began to desperately dig a hole to hide himself in, when Frith appeared. Frith said how every other creature in the world had come before him to be blessed with a unique gift. The cat had been given eyes that could see in the dark, the dog was given sharp teeth, the owl was given silent wings, and to all of these, Frith gave the desire to hunt and slay the children of El-ahrairah. Only El-ahrairah had not appeared.
But El-ahrairah wasn’t giving up just yet. Even though he knew he could not outwit Frith and knew that he had angered him, and that he could kill El-ahrairah in an instant, he was determined to try, and as he continued to dig, he replied that he was far too busy, and that if Frith wanted to bless any part of him, he would have to bless his bottom.
Frith, of course, obliged. El-ahrairah’s tail grew shining white to confuse his foes, his back legs grew long and powerful, giving him speed, and his ears stood up tall on his head, letting him hear for miles around. Armed with these gifts, El-ahrairah took off across the hills with his people, evading the elil at every turn. I felt a smile on my lips as I related the final verse, which to this day stokes the fires of courage in any rabbit, and the odd pony or human.
“El-ahrairah, your people cannot rule the world, for I will not have it so. All the world shall be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies,” I said solemnly to Apple Bloom, who was listening with close attention. “And whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first, they must catch you. Digger, listener, runner. Prince with the swift warning. Be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people shall never be destroyed.”
This was the ancient promise made by Frith. As much as, at times, he found El-ahrairah irritating and annoying to the point that he seemed to set the entire world against him, he had a need for him. He needed someone to jest and play tricks to confound all the other creatures, and he admired him for his determination to survive, despite the odds. So he would never kill him. I watched as Apple Bloom’s eyes began to close, just as I came to the end of the story.
“And when Frith’s has done his day’s work, and he lies calm and easy in the red sky, El-ahrairah, and his children, and his children’s children, come out of their holes and feed and play in his sight, for they are his friends, and he has promised them that they can never be destroyed.”
With that, the little filly fell fast asleep, snoring softly. I smiled to myself.
“Y’all have a real knack for storytellin’, Bones,” a voice said quietly, close at hoof.
I jumped with a start, fortunately not waking Apple Bloom up again. Turning to the doorway, I found Applejack, minus her hat and with her mane down around her shoulders. I relaxed at the sight of her. She likes how good I am taking care of Apple Bloom. I suppose it is a good way to judge character. I just sometimes worry that I’m treading on Big Mac’s hooves a bit. After all, there’s no way I can replace him, to say nothing of the venerable Bright Mac.
“Oh I’m just repeatin’ somethin’ written by somepony on my old world. Ask me to tell my own story, made up on the spot, and y’all will soon find I ain’t much of an author.”
“Still,” AJ replied. “You’re the one she asks for when it comes to bedtime stories.” I blushed shyly at that. According to Rarity, one of the things that got Applejack interested in me was how good I was with Apple Bloom. ‘Husband material’ as she put it.
“What are y’all still doin’ up anyway?” I asked her as she leaned languidly against the doorway.
“Granny reckons the next sign might come tonight. She wanted me to keep an eye out. Fancy stayin’ up with me a bit?”
Ah yes, the fourth sign was a meteor shower, and the burst of magic that followed would prompt the zap apples themselves to appear. After that, there was only one more stage, and then they were ready to harvest. Not that you could harvest a zap apple before it was ripe. One of my little projects last year was to try and get the unripe fruit for testing. Everything I tried resulting in an increasingly severe electric shock, as if I was genuinely testing the tree’s patience with my repeated efforts.
But enough about zap apples. I had a chance to stay up late with my marefriend and relax underneath the starry skies. What idiot would say no to that?
“Sure,” I said, keeping my voice low so as to not wake the sleeping filly.
The two of us carefully extricated ourselves from the room and gently closed the door behind us. Apple Bloom didn’t make a sound.
Trotting down the stairs, I found that Applejack had pretty much closed everything down for the night. The kitchen was dark now, with everything put away and the stove fire banked. In the moonlight that streamed through the windows, you could easily make out the polka dots though. The living room was dark as well, with only a few small embers of an earlier fire remaining. Heading out through the stable style door, we found the world once again calm and quiet. The moon, which hung high above us, gave enough light to see by, but there was hardly any sound, apart from a slight breeze, and the babbling of the nearby stream. I took a breath, breathing in the cool night air.
“And to think,” I said softly looking up at the stars. “Most ponies just sleep through this every night.”
“Well, not everywhere gets the view we do,” AJ replied. “Remember when we were up in Canterlot for the Summer Sun Celebration? All night long, you could see the moon, but hardly any stars.”
“That’s light pollution for you, AJ,” I replied. “The lights from the city drown out the starlight. It used to be like that for me when I lived in a town. It wasn’t until my family moved out to the countryside that I really started to appreciate the night.”
“I can’t imagine livin’ like that,” AJ replied. “Manehattan taught me to leave big cities well enough alone. They’re noisy, bustlin’, and the ponies in ‘em aren’t exactly friendly a lot of the time.”
“Eh, they’re not so bad,” I replied. “Everythin’ a pony needs is on your doorstep, shops, doctors, school. You don’t have to walk miles just to get the paper or visit the library. And they actually run buses near to where you live.”
Applejack looked at me perplexedly.
“What the hay are buses?” she asked, as if I’d just started nattering on about quantum theory. I couldn’t help but laugh.
I was about to explain the idea of a very large motorised wagon, filled with strange people, driven by other strange people who have no concept of mirrors or checking them before pulling out into traffic, that you use to travel around at a slow pace and in general discomfort, with a good chance of catching something off of one of the passengers. Before I could do that though, luckily for AJ, our attention was once again drawn skyward.
While the night sky is a beautiful thing to look up at for hours on end, it is largely a static piece of artwork. Of course, when you get right down to it, everything in the universe, including this planet was spinning at thousands of miles an hour, but you didn’t exactly notice that most of the time. However, from time to time, you do catch the odd bit of movement, and that was what we were seeing now. Streaking through the sky, we saw dozens of little white dashes of light; meteors burning up in the atmosphere. We both let out gasps of amazement as the show began. I’d seen the odd shooting star before, but never this many. It was better than the old Windows screensaver.
As the meteor shower intensified, the magic in the zap apple trees once again activated. As a strong gust of wind blew through the trees, the zap apples began to appear in their branches one by one. We watched as the trees lit up with occasional flashes as each new fruit appeared. Of course, they weren’t ready for harvest yet. If you went out to the orchards for a look, you’d see that the apples, while fully formed, lacked their signature rainbow colouring, instead being various shades of grey and black. By tomorrow though, that would change.
Just as suddenly as it had come, the amazing meteor shower over the farm ended, and the sky returned to just a deep blue filled with shimmering stars. AJ and I stayed up a while longer, sitting on the cool grass, picking out constellations. Eventually, as I found myself yawning, I figured it was time to hit the hay.
“I reckon we’ll be harvestin’ by noon tomorrow. Come on. We’d better get some sleep.”
Applejack though was one step ahead of me. The mare was now softly snoring on the soft grass. Stifling a chuckle, I got to my hooves and activated my magic. Gently lifting her up, I got her draped over my back and, taking the strain, headed inside. Heading upstairs with my unusual load, I took her to her room and got her tucked into bed, before I retired to my own.
The following morning, I found myself waking up even earlier than usual. There was no doubt in my mind that today would be the first day of the very short harvest. Any time now, we’d see the final sign. We’d get one more rogue storm front appear over the orchards, and then an incredible rainbow would race through the trees, giving each of the zap apples their signature colour, while at the same time, making them safe to harvest. If you tried to kick one of the trees now, the best you’d get would be a nasty electric shock.
Throwing off the bed covers, I quickly set about my usual morning routine. Throwing open the covers, I took a look out at the world. It was still pretty early yet. The sun had probably only come up about an hour or so ago, and the grass still had a fine coat of dew. At first, I was content to just take in the beautiful scene. I figured we’d have a few things to do before the harvest. The chickens would need to be fed, the pigs too. With any luck, we might even get a chance to milk the cows before the final sign arrived.
This nice, easy going little plan lasted right up until the moment the cockerel, already irritated by the lack of food for his hens, jumped up on top of the chicken coop and made his displeasure known. Letting out his well practised crow, which would no doubt wake the whole farm, I was startled out of my early morning sleepiness.
You see, at this time of year, the apple trees were all starting to bear fruit. Amidst the green leaves, you could see little splashes of red, orange, green, and yellow, as the fruit slowly formed in the branches. It wasn’t until I took a closer look at the zap apple trees that I realised something.
They were multicoloured!
The last sign must have come very early this morning, just after sunrise! The zap apples were ready to harvest now. And more to the point, the clock was now ticking down to when any remaining apples not harvested would vanish again. We should have been up and harvesting a couple of hours ago.
With no time to waste, I forgot about making my bed or making myself in any way presentable. Instead I rushed out of my room and into the hall. Going back and forth banging on each door as I went, I endeavoured to wake everypony.
“Wake up, everypony!” I hollered. “The fifth sign’s been and gone! We need to get harvestin’!”
Eventually, my efforts brought a slightly weary looking Applejack to her bedroom door. My brief panic and alarm was checked for a moment as I got a look at her with my mane down around her shoulders. I’ve been tempted to say she should wear her mane down more often.
“Bones,” she said, wiping the sleep from her eyes with a hoof. “What in the name of Celestia are ya goin’ on about?”
“It’s the zap apples, AJ,” I said urgently. “They’re rainbow coloured. They’re ready to harvest!”
The realisation hit Applejack in pretty much the same way as it hit me, and before long, we were both doing our best to wake everypony else up.
A very hurried breakfast later, and we were all out in the orchards. We hadn’t even gotten up and we were already behind schedule! We’d have to really pull our non-existent fingers out to get the whole harvest done in time. By itself that wouldn't be too hard. The problem is, not all the apples ripen at the same time. We kept having to redo the same trees. So this was a marathon, not a sprint. We had five days now to harvest the entire zap apple orchard. From there, we’d have plenty of time to make them into zap apple jam. But like it or not, the next five days were going to be tough.
It was me, Applejack and Big Mac out in the fields bucking away at the trees, while Granny Smith and Apple Bloom collected the filled baskets and took them back to the farmhouse. Come tomorrow, we’d be down a filly, with the school week beginning again. And that was forgetting everything else. Just because it was zap apple season didn’t mean any of our regular duties stopped. Someone still needed to feed the pigs, collect eggs from the chickens, maintain the fences, fix the water pump that was acting up, mend the hinge on the barn door, and keep an eye on all the other trees as their fruit matured. All in all, we were in for a tough week.
The three of us stuck pretty close to each other, working our way through one row at a time in sections. I was just glad that the baskets were already set up. Come Applebuck Season, we’d have to drag these around as well, loading carts and hauling them back and forth to the storage barns scattered around the farm. I did my best to keep a measured pace, but before too long my legs started to ache. As in shape as we all were, applebucking is still back breaking work when you get right down to it. More so with the hot July sun rising in the east.
“Say, Bones,” Applejack called out from across the way. “How about ya strike up one of your songs for us?”
As I’ve said before, I’m not a bad singer, and I know plenty of songs that can make work on the farm just a little bit more tolerable. After thinking it over for a moment, I started up, the magic around me providing the suitable musical accompaniment, striking up into the tune of ‘Auld Bessie’.
Let Bacchus' sons be not dismayed
Instead of spa, we'll drink brown ale And pay the reckoning on the nail; No man for debt shall go to jail From Garryowen in glory.
We'll beat the bailiffs out of fun,
Our hearts so stout have got no fame
The song did a fair bit to lift our spirits. The last time I’d heard it had been a little over a year ago, just after the cessation of hostilities between Equestria and the changelings. Thanks to Starlight and the others, Chrysalis was overthrown, all that remained were the infiltrators in Canterlot who had taken the guises of the princesses, the Elements, Spike, and Shining. The pair in Canterlot had been apprehended, in part thanks to my dad, who first realised something was amiss with Celestia. When what had happened came to light, the trio in the Crystal Empire surrendered. But the seven in Ponyville, including the...thing...that impersonated AJ, which to my unending disgrace I didn’t spot, holed themselves up in the castle.
A siege ensued, with the seven bugs refusing to haul down their colours or recognise the new government or the cease fire. In the end, the Royal Guard staged their own version of the Iranian Embassy Siege and dragged them out kicking and screaming. The resulting celebration as the guards marched the captives away had used the old tune. To my mind, it seemed appropriate, with the guards driving the bugs along like captured Indians before the federal cavalry.
Sorry, that comes across as just a bit harsh, doesn’t it? Even with the peace, I still have to watch myself sometimes, lest I slip back into bad habits. Once upon a time, I just blindly hated all changelings. But slowly but surely, I’ve managed to change that, with help from a few good friends, and one traumatic incident involving time travel and unexpected wish fulfilment. They’re right you know, what they say about being careful what you wish for. In any case, I’m reformed now. It’s just that it’s an ongoing process. So I guess you could say I’m more of a work in progress.
Anyway, back to farming. We spent the whole morning catching up with our schedule, and by the time lunch rolled around, and it was almost unbearably hot, we were more than glad for the respite.
The first batch of harvested zap apples meant that Granny Smith could now swing into action making the zap apple jam. The fresher the apples, the better the jam was, and the more Filthy, that old miser, would pay for it. By the time we came in with the first load in carts, Granny was all set to go. The stove was crammed with pots. She had a couple potato mashers, jars of honey and jam sugar, and plenty of jam jars, all freshly sterilised from being in the oven for the last hour.
She started by washing and then cutting up the zap apples, removing their cores and dicing them into cubes. The chopping board soon became a multicoloured palette of rainbow coloured apples. From there, placing them into one of the large pans, she mashed them up into a near puree. She then added both the jam sugar and the honey, which would help thicken the mixture The resulting thick mixture looked a lot like liquid rainbows, which are indeed a thing in Equestrian weather manufacturing, being not too dissimilar to axle grease, and according to Rainbow Dash at any rate, it also makes for a great hangover cure.
As she stirred away at the bubbling mixture, which now made everything smell like zap apple jam, she would occasionally test the mixture’s consistency, making sure that it was thickening properly. After all, nopony wants watery zap apple jam, or jam that’s just thick ooze. It takes a real knack to get it right, and Granny Smith is the only pony around here who has the magic touch.
Seriously, it’s the one thing I don’t know about the process, which she keeps a closely guarded secret. I’ve tried it, as have others, and our jam invariably comes out wrong. But, it’s the only way we can ensure nopony else can steal the recipe. Whatever it is Granny Smith does, it works, and nopony else can replicate it.
Once the jam had thickened properly and it had been brought to a rolling boil, Granny eased the heat down and carefully used a ladle to get the jam into the prepared jars. You had to be careful, putting the hot jam in could, if you weren’t careful, cause the glass jars to crack, so it was vital that they’d only just come out of sitting in the oven. From there, both jar and jam were left to slowly cool down and were sealed airtight. And as the mixture cooled, the jam took on its recognisable striped rainbow colour, instead of being just a wash of various colours.
And there you had it, the first batch of this year’s zap apple jam. Every year was always a little different from the last, as is the case with any natural produce. Like a good wine, certain years of zap apple jam were prized for their taste and colour. The vast majority of these though would more than likely be gone before winter rolled around again.
After we’d had a quick lunch, it was back out there again, albeit, now that we were back on schedule, at a slightly less fractious pace.
There’s not really too much to say beyond that. As interesting as it was, I seriously doubt you are interested in a buck by buck of the next five days of harvesting and jam making. So, let us skip ahead to the end of the harvest.
After five days, we’d done all we could. Sadly, we hadn’t managed to harvest absolutely every single tree, but we got a good chunk of the orchard cleared out before the magic of the zap apple trees went dormant again, sending the unharvested apples, leaves and blossoms all back from whence they came.
We had a sizable harvest at any rate. It was more than enough to fulfil our annual contract with Barnyard Bargain, which called for five hundred jars. In total, we had that, plus twenty over for ourselves. I was now taking these over to the store by wagon. Ordinarily, this would have been a job for Big Mac, but he was currently off on other business. It seemed that, like me, he was interested in a career in teaching.
With Twilight’s impending coronation, and all the duties and responsibilities that came with it, she would no longer be able to look after the school full time. Like Princess Celestia, she planned to teach when she could, and possibly take on another personal student, but somepony else would have to take over the day to day operations and management. To that end, she had promoted the current vice-headmare, Starlight, to the position. That left a gap in the roster that needed filling. Starlight had quickly set to work on this and put out a want ad. Job hunting in Equestria is wonderfully easier than it is on earth. For starters, your best skill is plastered to your hindquarters, and even if it can’t be a vocation, it helps guide you to what you love. More to the point, the job market is a whole lot better. While jobs do require certain qualifications, they’re far less restrictive. You certainly don’t see the infamous, must have at least five years experience with a computer program that only came out last year, or the chicken and egg problem of experience. Most places are willing to hire provisionally and train you. Even if I hadn’t started working for Applejack, I think I would have found my feet alright here.
Anyway, Big Mac had gone after the job. He is quite the smart stallion when all is said and done. In all honesty, sometimes I think farming is a waste of his intellect. He’s not a genius or anything, but I certainly think he could lecture on some subjects at a university level. So he’d put in and been taken on provisionally, along with a couple other candidates to let Starlight see how they did at the role. It was good too that she was hiring outside and not just promoting one of the professors. My mum had always said brilliant teachers all too often make for terrible heads, since the skills required are so different. So with him away, that left me to haul the goods over to Filthy.
Barnyard Bargains is Equestria’s answer to Tesco, or Walmart, but with the important addition of morals and respect for the Geneva Convention. Filthy isn’t too bad really when it boils right down to. It’s just you judge him by Ponyville’s much higher moral standard. And to be fair, he’s looked after the family store well, expanding it to have a modest chain. Now if only he’d ditch that horrible cow he calls a wife.
Hauling the wagon around to the loading dock at the rear of the store, I found Filthy and a couple of stock clerk ponies waiting for me.
“Howdy, Mr. Rich,” I said, touching the brim of my hat. He understandably hates being called Filthy.
“Good morning, Mr. Star,” he said, sounding every inch a southern gentleman that he tries to be. “I take it this is the yield for this year’s zap apple harvest.”
“Sure is,” I replied, unhitching myself and chocking the wagon. “Five hundred jars, as promised.”
“Excellent!” he said, clapping his hooves together in a well practised act of good cheer. “You don’t mind if I try one of these myself do you?”
He does that, Big Mac had warned me. Every year, he picks a jar at random and checks the quality. In a way, it’s more than a little insulting. Apples don’t go back on a deal and after all these years he should know that. Then again, he’s never really stopped trying to find a way to make it himself either. So I suppose there’s mutual distrust as well as détente.
“Well go right ahead,” I said congenially. “Which one do you want?”
Filthy picked one of the jars out, which I levitated over to him. Opening it up, he stuck a spoon in and had a taste of the rainbow coloured jam. It quickly met with his approval.
Of course, if I was bent and selling him jars of liquid rainbow at twenty bits a jar, I’d fill the whole first rack with genuine jars. If he wants to be a discerning businessman, Filthy should learn to ask for a taste from the other side of the brick.
But he was satisfied and his staff quickly set to unloading the wagon. A couple were, naturally, refused due to damage here and there, but that was why we had a few more than needed. These things happen after all. And it left me with my own couple of jars which I could give to my parents and Lizzie. Perks of the job, you see. If nothing else, Dad did love to joke how these jars did ‘fall off the back of a wagon’.
Speaking of my old man, he had some interesting news from Canterlot. He’d brought back home a collection of postcards from when Celestia and Luna went on their little vacation. They gave Twilight a little trial having her hoof on the tiller, and got a taste of what retirement might be like. There was a bit of squabbling at one point, but they had a good time. And luckily they came back promptly when Twilight knackered the little trinket they gave her to move the sun and moon.
In addition to that though, I heard from Mum about the recent Trivia Trot fiasco. Applejack had told me all about it of course, but it was still a funny story to hear. More to the point, Sunburst was in town because of that little affair. Perhaps later I could pop by and see him.
As it turned out, I’d be seeing him a lot. While Big Mac had ultimately realised that being vice-headstallion was not for him, the school did have a couple new members of staff. Sunburst, and I’m not going to cry nepotism or affirmative action here, was picked to take the post. It made sense to be fair, and it gave the stallion a chance to reach his full potential, particularly now that Flurry was getting older.
What terrifies me though was who Starlight picked to replace her role as student counsellor. You think having an ex-cult leader as the pony in charge of students’ mental health is bad?
Try the Great and Powerful Trixie.
As a wise Scotsman once said; ‘we’re doomed!’
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
Quite a busy chapter here. My proofreader pointed out that, in the episode, Zap Apple trees produce fruit every 100 moons, suggesting they only give fruit every 7.5 years. But then again, a similar measurement is given for the family reunion, and the show never properly specified what a moon is as a unit of measurement, particularly given how Luna could quite easily wax and wane it as she pleased. Any ideas on what a 'moon' is?
This chapter also gives a cameo to one of the characters in a new story I'm working on. Elusive is of course, just R63 Rarity, but I have a few ideas with him. As to the rumours Bones mentioned, to give a hint to that future story, I will say he is just plain, simple, Elusive. And if you think that's not the case, well then...*smiles* there may be hope for you yet.
Finally, I was, am, and probably always will be deathly afraid of bees. Like Richard Hammond, I don't like insects.
There was quite a hubbub going on in the class as I walked in that afternoon. It was understandable. It was the last class of the day, but more importantly, it was the last class of the year. Today, a good portion of the students would be returning home to their families and enjoying a well earned vacation until September. Needless to say, this was the only topic of discussion.
“Alright, simmer down,” I said as I walked in, catching everycreature’s attention. “I know the day’s almost over and you’re all looking forward to summer vacation. But we’ve got one more lesson before that.”
“Oh come on, Professor Star,” one of the pony students moaned. “Can’t you let us out early or something? We’ve been looking forward to summer vacation all year. I can’t wait to head home and see my family.”
I was about to respond, when another student, rather brusquely, spoke up.
“Speak for yourself,” Gallus said scathingly. “And just because it’s the last lesson doesn’t mean it’s not important.”
Gallus, of course, was what you might call a long term boarder at the school. He didn’t go home for Hearth’s Warming or for any other vacation, unlike most students. There was good reason for that, his grandfather notwithstanding. Because of this, Twilight had made special provisions to allow him to stay in the school dorms until he graduated. The downside of that was, while he didn’t have to spend any time around his charming relatives, he did end up spending a lot of the holidays alone. Being surrounded by students all chattering about going back to home and hearth just rubbed salt in the wound.
Still, at least last Hearth’s Warming wasn’t too bad for him, petty vandalism aside, with his friends sticking around to celebrate the season with him. But it must be hard for him at times. Perhaps that’s why he throws himself so deeply in friendship studies, since family has all but failed him.
“Thank you, Gallus,” I said, glad to have the griffon on side. “And you are quite right. This may be the last class of the year, but this class on kindness will be looking at one of its most important facets; mercy and compassion.”
The lesson was quite an interesting one. After all, at times, it can be deeply difficult to take that moral high ground, and can prove quite dangerous in the long run. But at other times, it can be the catalyst for forming new relations. I used an interesting encounter from the Great War, when the infamous Red Baron crossed paths with an equally skilled French ace. The two pilots circled each other, looking for weakness, each finding the other to be an old hand. At the critical moment though, Richthofen’s guns jammed, worse still, the Frenchman saw him desperately trying to clear the jammed shell.
“Now, of course,” I said as I slowly walked back and forth in front of the large chalkboard, thoroughly in Twilight’s lecture mode. “The logical thing for the pilot to do would be to shoot. He knew Richthofen was helpless. But instead, he drew alongside, waved a greeting, and then retired from the fight. You see, in those days, there was a code of honour amongst pilots. And it was seen as wrong and cowardly to shoot an enemy who couldn’t shoot back. Now, had the Red Baron been shot down that day, dozens of pilots might have lived. But tell me, would it have been right?”
That got quite a lively debate going between the students on the value of kindness, in a world that sometimes isn’t particularly kind. I Thought back to the first time Rarity visited Manehattan, and how her generosity was abused. These days, chivalry and honour all too often make you an idiot, a dead idiot, rather than a gentleman. Then again, mercy was often the first step in reformation. Look at Starlight or Tempest. Things could have ended very differently for both of them. But ponies are kind and merciful creatures, sometimes to their detriment. You know the old saying; ‘no good deed goes unpunished’. But in all honesty, I’d rather get stung a few times for being kind than avoid harm through cruelty.
Although having said that, there are a few occasions where even ponies will show no mercy. And one of those was coming up faster than I realised.
As the debate wound up, the students were delighted to hear the bell ring for the last time. They all quickly began packing away their things, and since I’m neither petty, nor a control freak, I didn’t pull that whole ‘the bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do’ crap on them.
“Alright, and with that, enjoy your vacations. I’ll see you all again in September.”
The students all hurriedly filed out, heading straight for the dorms. From there, it would be a short matter of grabbing their bags and then heading to the train station. Some of them, like Silverstream, had pretty long journeys ahead of them. Even by train and airship, getting that far south would take a couple days. That probably explains why the scatterbrained hippogriff elects to ship most of her luggage and fly home under her own steam.
Gallus however, lingered. I know his friends do their best to stick around with him as much as they can, but Twilight’s School can’t be expected to make exceptions for everyone. It had taken a fair bit of work to convince the EEA to allow him to stay at the school, particularly as his grandad didn’t much care for the idea. According to him, it was better than going ‘home’ but not by much.
Gallus and I are virtually nothing alike. But at the same time, I think he considers me a friend. Like everywhere in Equestria, the school of friendship’s population is skewed more towards the fairer sex, and sometimes, a guy wants to talk to a guy about what’s bothering him, especially about certain things. I’ve nothing against Starlight, mind. That’s just the way it is. And so I’ve found myself sort of taking him under my wing. Well, more like just supporting him and being a listening ear. One thing I’ll never do to Gallus though, is pity him. That’s the one thing we have in common.
As I tidied up my own desk, I saw the griffon staring out the window as his friends headed off.
“How you holdin’ up, Gallus?” I asked. The griffon just shrugged.
“Okay, I guess. Headmare Twilight agreed to let me help out here over the summer to earn a few bits. And the other professors said they’d drop by when they could.”
In a way, Gallus reminds me a lot of Rainbow Dash. Occasional boastfulness aside, neither is particularly in touch with their emotions, preferring to keep things beneath the surface. Only trouble is, eventually, they bubble over. Gallus was hiding it well under the veneer of disinterest that he so often put on, but you didn’t have to be a genius to see how down he was. I mean, I can’t imagine how hard it is for him, having only his grandad as family. His friends act as his support network, but they can’t always be around. Maybe I could do something to take his mind off things?
“Say Gallus?” I said, catching his attention again. “Do you like apple fritters?”
“Do I...what?” Gallus said, slightly bewildered.
“Apple fritters,” I repeated. “Do you like them?”
“Er...sure, I guess so. Why?” Gallus replied, tilting his head and looking at me in a very bird like fashion.
“The Apple family reunion is goin’ on over on Sweet Apple Acres. I was goin’ to head over there now. Y’all are welcome to tag along if ya want.” Gallus brightened up a little at that, but soon covered the surprise with his usual mask.
“Really?” he said. “I thought that was just for Professor Applejack’s family.”
“True,” I agreed, levitating my stetson over from the coat rack and placing it atop my head again. “But Granny Smith has never been known to turn away a guest. Plus I’ve been goin’ for a few years now and nopony’s told me off yet. Come on.” I gestured with my head.
Gallus got up out of his seat and quickly joined me and the two of us headed off for the farm.
The Apple family reunion; the annual gathering of pretty much the entire Apple clan. Every year, without fail, the dozens of Apples, spread across Equestria and beyond, like salmon, return to their old family seat just outside Ponyville. There they reconnect with old friends, swap stories, play games, enjoy good food, and even work on big projects together. In that sense, it reminds me a lot of the conventions I used to go to when back on Earth.
Now, technically, yes, it is an affair for the Apple family. In fact, my first year here, I’d figured that I wouldn’t be exactly welcome. However, the definition of Apple, like the definition of sister at the Sisterhooves Social, can be stretched from time to time. Hence how I was normally to be found in attendance. I saw no reason why young Gallus here, with little family of his own, could not also be an exception.
Leading him up along the old road to the farm, we soon saw evidence of the festivities being in full swing. There were wagons parked all over the place, and even a few aeronautical contraptions, from small helicopters and auto-gyros, right up to that mad Da Vinci inspired flying machine that Apple Seed arrived in, to say nothing of the airship currently moored. Gallus looked around in astonishment.
“You guys do this every year?” he asked in amazement.
“Every hundred moons, come rain or shine,” I replied. “Come on. We’re almost there. I’ll introduce you to Granny Smith and get ourselves into the swing of things.”
Arriving at the farmhouse, we found that the reunion was indeed in full swing. It looked like they were just about ready for the seven legged race around the farm. Ponies were milling around, chatting to each other, foals were playing, food was cooking, and a little ways off, I could see Granny Smith, along with the other older mares in the Apple family working on their infamously never ending quilt. Leading Gallus over, I quickly introduced him.
“Hey, Granny,” I said, catching the old girl’s attention. “This here’s Gallus. He’s one of the students over at Twilight’s school. The feller’s stayin’ in the dorms over the summer break and feeling a mite lonesome. I was wonderin’ if he could join in with the reunion.”
Granny looked up, being a little caught off guard by the sight of the bright blue griffon, but soon recovered herself and studied him inscrutably.
“Ain’t ya got kin of your own ya ought to be getting back to, whipper snapper?” she asked, causing Gallus to flinch for a moment.
“Erm...not really, ma’am,” he said hesitantly, rubbing the back of his head with a claw. Granny remained quiet for a moment longer.
Just as quickly though, her previous inscrutable expression vanished and was replaced by the welcoming look I was familiar with.
“Well then of course y’all are welcome!” she exclaimed, taking his claw in hoof. “I’m Granny Smith Apple, but folks round these parts just call me Granny, and you should too. Now come on, first things first we need to get some vittles in ya!”
She quickly dragged him off in the direction of the apple fritters. I couldn’t help but enjoy the expression on his face. It’s easy to forget the unconditional love of family at times. And it was nice to give Gallus some time with a grandparent who wasn’t an abusive asshole.
I would have stayed with him, fancying a couple fritters or twelve myself, but Applejack, the master of ceremonies for the past few years, came trotting over to me to rope me into some duties.
“Bones!” she greeted, running up to me and pulling me into a hug. “I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for ya! Was that Gallus with you just now?” I nodded.
“I figured the poor guy deserved a bit of quality time with a family,” I replied. “It ain’t right, him havin’ to spend so much time on his own. I figured this whole reunion might perk his spirits up a bit.”
“Aww, that’s mighty kind of you, sugarcube,” AJ said approvingly.
“What do you need me for anyway?” I asked. There was so much going on in the reunion and so many jobs to do.
“I figured you could help out with the seven legged race,” she said, holding up a couple flags. “I’ve gotta go help Braeburn with the work on that new irrigation system for the south orchard. But I ought to be back in time for the finish.”
“Alright, fair enough,” I agreed, taking the props in my magic. “I take it your little sister and a certain filly from Manehattan are the favourites to win?” AB and Babs Seed had placed first for the last couple years.
“They should just count themselves lucky you and me ain’t competin’,” she replied with a chuckle.
With that, the two of us parted ways, with me heading over to where the course, far toned down from the infamous endurance course AJ made back in Season 3, had both its start and finish line. There were around a dozen or so teams lined up, mainly siblings or parents and their kids, but also friends who rarely got the chance to see each other outside of the reunion. This included Apple Bloom and Babs Seed.
It always surprised me how Apple Bloom became friends with her. I know her earlier bullying was down to insecurity about her own lack of a cutie mark, but even so, I have a bit of a hard time getting along with the little filly myself. Maybe it’s a clash of cultures thing? I may sound like an Apple, complete with accent and syntax, but I still retain plenty of my old British self, including cultural traits. While I occasionally clash with AJ or the others over a few cultural norms, Manehattan is the antithesis of everything I hold dear. Still, underneath her rather brusque nature, she is a good filly really.
Anyway, enough about that. It was time to start the race. Both the competitors and the crowd were raring for the off.
“Okay, starter’s orders, everypony!” I called out.
The ponies lined up all tensed, making one last check to ensure they were all tied together and psyching themselves up for the friendly, if somewhat competitive, race. Before I dropped the flag, I gave them all a quick word of warning on fair play.
“Fillies and gentlecolts,” I said. “This will be a fair race. No shooting, stabbing, cliff-pushing, rock-throwing, cactus-grinding, neck-lassoing, setting fires, or other acts that causes a team to unfairly lose their way, bleed heavily or black out.”
“Buzzkill,” somepony muttered from the line up. I let it slide.
“Alright, on your marks, get set.” I dropped the flag. “Go!”
And with that, the teams went staggering off towards the first obstacle.
After the race ended, I sought out Gallus again to see how he was faring. While Granny Smith was no doubt welcoming him, I figured that, as one of his teachers, I had a duty of care to save him from overexposure. After all, it doesn’t take too much to get her to fall into one of her infinite rambles.
Luckily, it seemed that Big Mac had intervened already, as I found Gallus with him, as well as Braeburn, happily chatting away while they worked on mending one of the barn doors. The hinge had been getting on in years and become badly rusted. It was only a matter of time before it gave out altogether. And just because it was the reunion didn’t mean that work on the farm stopped. Unlike school, farming knows no holidays, breaks or vacations.
Gallus was currently using his ability to fly to their mutual advantage, saving the trio the need for a ladder to replace some of the higher up hinges. He was quite changed from the melancholy teenager I’d seen not so long ago. It was nice to see him having fun and getting along with ponies.
Big Mac noticed me as I walked over.
“Hey, Bones,” he called out with a wave of his hoof.
“Hi, Mac. Hey, Braeburn,” I greeted. “I see you two have met Gallus.”
At that point, Gallus dropped down a few feet to interject.
“Er, you do know I’ve met Big Red here before, right. Back when he applied for the vice headmare job.”
Oh, of course. I’d almost forgotten about Big Mac’s own foray into teaching. While it turned out the job wasn’t for him, unlike a lot of people, he’d been smart enough to see and admit it, withdrawing his application on his own terms. Conversely, he had gotten on pretty well with the students, and I’ve heard plenty of scuttlebutt from the female students and what they thought of the quiet red stallion. Him being a pony of few words though, meant he didn’t exactly have the communication skills to deal with parents at times.
“Oh, of course,” I said, as Gallus flew back up and out of hearing range. “You had a trial run there around the time they had the teacher parent conferences.”
“Eeyup,” Mac agreed with a nod. “Met Gallus’ grandpa too.” He looked up at the young griffon, who was now using a screwdriver to fasten the new hinge in place.
“I sure can see why he prefers stayin’ at school,” I said a little sadly. Mac nodded.
“It ain’t right,” Mac said crossly. “I always thought I had it rough when Ma and Pa left. But at least we had Granny Smith to look after us. Gallus just has...that.” I smiled.
“Not a fan of Grandpa Gruff then?” I said, with just a hint of sarcasm. Mac looked up at Gallus again for a moment.
“Feller was lucky I was actin’ vice headstallion,” he said darkly. “If I saw him now...” he let that thought trail off.
Big Mac may be a gentle giant, but there are a few exceptions; things that make him see red, or fly into a furious fraternal rage. Harming his family or his friends is one of them. And having seen what the stallion is capable of when he puts his mind to it, I can’t help but feel slightly sorry for Gallus’ sorry excuse for a grandfather if the two were ever to meet again. Think back to the Sisterhooves Social where he all but ploughed through the obstacle course. Or when the Crusaders accidentally gave him and Cheerilee love poison, and he dragged a house clear off its foundations. Even as a unicorn, with magic to call on, I wouldn’t like to fight him.
But enough about him, and enough about Grandpa Gruff. That sorry excuse for a grandparent doesn’t deserve to get written about. I turned my attention back to Gallus. He’d finished replacing the upper most hinges and now glided back down to the ground, landing between the three of us.
“Thanks for letting me borrow your toolkit, Mac,” he said, returning the screwdriver.
“Any time, Gallus,” Mac replied.
“You know, this was meant to be givin’ you a chance to relax and enjoy yourself, Gallus,” I said with a smile. Gallus shrugged his shoulders.
“Eh,” he replied. “I enjoy building and repairing stuff. Plus it’s the least I can do for you for letting me swing by. I can certainly see why you like it out here. Everypony is so friendly, it’s almost weird.”
“Yeah, I felt that way for a while when I first moved here,” I agreed. “You’re used to being distrustful of someone who’s just nice for the sake of being nice. These folks though, they mean it. I mean, look at Applejack and Big Mac here. They took me in, gave me food and a bed when they had barely any idea who I was. They didn’t ask me to start helpin’ them out on the farm, I all but insisted on it.
“You know, if you want to, Gallus,” I went on. “We could use a few extra hooves, or claws, helpin’ to get the new irrigation system installed. It’ll give you an excuse to stick around until supper time.”
“Now that I’ll take you up on,” Gallus agreed.
It had taken a lot of planning on our part, and a lot of work beforehand to get everything ready, but Sweet Apple Acres was finally going to get the proper irrigation system that it sorely needed. Instead of having to water the trees and crops by hoof and rely on rain storms, we’d have a system to ensure everywhere got enough water, mainly through use of the ample reservoir we had in the lake. Even now, on the tail end of summer, it was still pretty full.
Of course, there was a whole lot of work still to do; far more than five ponies could do on their own. Once it was up and running, maintaining it wouldn’t be too much trouble, certainly not when compared to all the time we’d save. But installing it was quite another matter. In a testament to the bonds of the Apple family, just as they had all pitched in to rebuild the barn a few years back, many of them were now hard at work on getting this irrigation system set up.
Once complete it would work like this. Pipes and pumps near the lake would draw water into the system, filtering it and adding fertiliser or other nutrients as needed. From there, it would be pumped all around the orchards and fields into dozens of sprinklers that would coat the whole area at regular intervals. This would ensure that the trees, and all our other crops, would have enough water and nutrition to thrive. We could adjust settings as needed based on prevailing conditions. That meant that we could devote more time to caring for the trees, and maintaining them, preventing disease and other problems flaring up. After all, at times, we were all run ragged. This would take some of the pressure off.
Of course, we first had to build the damn thing.
I led Gallus over towards the large lake that would serve as our primary water source. Small, shallow trenches had been dug along the route the system would take, and most of the sprinklers, which would soon be all but buried, were in place. At the lake itself, we found Applejack working on the water pump that would draw water into the system, along with the generator to drive it. It was this she was currently tinkering with.
Applejack knows more about engineering that you might expect. She’s quite the handymare after all and has taught me pretty much all I know about DIY, apart from a little I learned from my dad. She was currently working on some of the gears in the generator. Around her barrel was her tool belt, and she currently had a wrench help in her teeth as she tightened a bolt. The two of us watched her for a moment, until she set down her tools and looked up, spotting us.
“Well are y’all just gonna stand there like idiots or are ya gonna lend a hoof?” she demanded.
For a moment, I forgot I had Gallus with me.
“What can I say?” I replied teasingly. “I was mesmerised by how sexy you are with that tool belt on.”
Gallus blushed up to his ears at that. No student wants to be around when their two teachers are flirting with each other. Applejack just grimaced as she realised Gallus had heard that.
“Just ignore him, Gallus,” she said apologetically, no doubt plotting to kill me later. “He thinks he’s bein’ all suave and clever. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to realise it just makes him sound like a dang fool.”
“Oh I realise,” I replied. “I just don’t care.” Applejack chuckled at that.
With that, the two of us set to work helping her get the generator running. Gallus knew a surprising bit about engines and between the three of us, we soon got it working. Once connected to the pump, it would bring water into the system. That was a fair ways off yet though. The rest of the afternoon was spent steadily laying the underground pipework and burying them, until only the sprinkler heads were left above ground.
By late afternoon, the work was pretty much finished. From the air, according to a passing Rainbow Dash, Sweet Apple Acres was now covered in a spiderweb of criss cross patterns marking where the ground had been disturbed. In time of course, the grass would grow back, covering the work. But for the time being, it was quite useful, at least until we got used to where all the sprinklers were, as it stopped us tripping over the exposed heads.
Still, with the hard work done, all that now remained was to prime the system. Applejack, in recognition of Gallus’ help and hard work, gave the honour to him.
“Alright, Gallus,” she said as she got the generator going again. “Switch on the main pump and we’ll prime everything.”
Gallus flipped a couple of switches and turned on the pumps. A low, steady droning note filled the air as we all waited with baited breath. We didn’t know if the system was properly watertight. This priming would help expose that, and members of the Apple family were stationed all over the farm, keeping an eye for leaking water from underground.
But no such leaks were forthcoming, and the pressure slowly began to rise. In a way, it was a lot like the air brake systems you saw on big freight trains. Eventually, as the entire circuit was filled, the pressure levelled off and Gallus switched the pump down to its lowest setting.
“Okay. Now set of the sprinklers,” AJ commanded. Gallus flicked another switch.
There was a sharp clicking sound as the heads all sprang up from their stowed position, followed by a brief grinding noise as the heads moved back and forth. For one heart stopping moment, there was no water, and I feared that there might be a problem with some of the valves. But a moment later, the heads properly came to life as water gushed out in a steady stream, as the sprinkler heads steadily rotated around.
The assembled ponies all cheered as the sprinklers did their job, soaking the grass and trees all across the farm in one fell swoop. The system was rigged on a timer, so that once the switch was thrown, a minute later, it would shut off. And that was just what happened. The sprinklers stopped and promptly retracted back out of the way, leaving behind a fine layer of dew and a faint rainbow that glittered in the afternoon sun before slowly fading out.
“Brilliant!” I declared. “No leaks, and all the sprinkler heads seem to be working fine.”
“Eeyup!” Big Mac agreed.
“Alright, ya can turn off the pump, Gallus,” AJ said as she did the same with the generator. “We sure appreciate your help on all this, partner.”
“Oh anytime,” Gallus said in his usual nonchalant way. “I’m always happy to get a chance to actually practice my friendship lessons.”
He didn’t show it too much, like I said, a lot like RD, he keeps his emotions and true feelings under the surface most of the time. But I could see a certain mistiness in his eyes. He’d spent the day with the Apple family, getting to know everypony, making new friends, and generally just feeling accepted for a change. He even got something of a replacement grandparent in Granny Smith, who said he was more than welcome to drop by the farm any time. She even offered him bits under the table for some light work over the summer if he wanted. On that front, Gallus’ griffon nature perked up, and he quickly jumped at the chance.
Later in the evening, the Apple family reunion was once again drawing to a close. We’d all reconnected, swapped stories, traded, played games, enjoyed good food and drink, and even built a fully functioning irrigation system. Now it was time to slow things down a bit. Big Mac was taking the foals and a few of the parents of the hayride, at the requisite steady pace. Building the irrigation system was enough work. Nopony wanted to have to rebuild the barn again.
The rest of us adults were enjoying ourselves at the dance. The Apple family has quite a few talented musicians in their number, most notably Fiddlesticks, who is an excellent violinist. She, along with a small band, were currently gathered in the barn, playing a number of country airs and dance music.
One of the many things I learned since I got here is how to dance. Back on Earth, I hadn’t the faintest clue where to start. I wasn’t half as bad as Twilight, but I could just never get the footwork down, or rhythm for that matter. My grandad had taught me a passable foxtrot, but that was about it and I only did it once at a wedding. Fortunately, at my first reunion, Applejack was there to fix that. She taught me some of the more complicated country dances, acting as my partner.
I still felt ridiculous doing it, mind. Dancing isn’t something I especially like, but it was the reunion, and tradition is tradition. Plus I had AJ along with me to make sure I didn’t make a complete fool of myself.
Still, what I preferred was the slower dances. I have nothing against the country and western style, but doing it, even with a good partner like Applejack made it feel like work more than play; constantly counting steps and beats in my head, thinking about where I needed to move next. I know with time and practice that would fade out, but for the moment, I preferred it when things were a bit more intimate.
And luckily for me, such a dance was coming up now. With the kids away, there was a chance for the husbands and wives that made up the Apple family to indulge in a spot of romance. Now, while neither I nor AJ are overly romantic, I still enjoy dancing with her. As the slow, soft, haunting music began to play, I took AJ’s hoof in my own, put the other on her barrel and gently began to lead.
I love doing this,” I said softly as we danced. “It ain’t often you and I have the time.”
“You’re not wrong there, Bones,” Applejack agreed quietly as she nuzzled against my chest. “And it’s only gonna get busier once Applebuck Season starts.”
She was right. Another week or so after the reunion, and we’d be going full steam ahead with the busiest harvest of the year. Forget zap apples, cattle drives, building projects, ploughing or logging. Even Winter Wrap Up didn’t hold a candle to how busy Applebuck Season was. Granted, we did have some extra help, insofar as hauling the apples back to the barns in the form of the cattle herd. Just as they might be used to haul heavy wagons back on Earth, the cows lent us a hoof at buddy times. Still, it was a mammoth undertaking. The saving grace though was that, this year, we were going to have a bit of help.
Ever since Applejack’s ill fated attempt to do the entire harvest on her own, her friends have usually pitched in in some way to help. Of course, unlike that year, we’ve got Big Mac on hoof, as well as Apple Bloom. But Twilight and the others would stop by whenever they could to share the load a bit. And according to Spike, Twilight has even more reason to lend a hoof this year. After all, helping out us commoners is a good look for the new Princess of Equestria. Not that I’d imagine Twilight would ever truly buy into such nonsense. She’s helping because she has the time, and because she’s a friend, not to build her PR status.
But that, along with everything else that came with Applebuck Season could wait for another time. Right now, all I wanted to do was dance with my marefriend.
“If I came up with a spell that let us live in this one moment for the rest of our lives, would you be mad?” I asked shyly as we continued to sway. I expected Applejack to shoot back her usual playful counter. But instead, she just replied;
“No. That would be kinda nice.”
Little did I know that this would be the last truly peaceful moment for a while. Looking back, this was Luke sitting out watching the twin suns set on Tatooine. There was something looming on the horizon. I knew what it was, of course. Thanks to Dad back during the Summer Sun Celebration, I was aware of Discord’s plan, and the fact that three card carrying villains were on the loose. But I never expected things to spiral out of control just as badly as they did.
A couple weeks later found me in Twilight’s castle, spending some time with the alicorn princess herself. She’d been compelled to spend more and more time in Canterlot, getting important lessons from Celestia and Luna to prepare her for her new role, which wasn’t that far off now.
Privately, I didn’t like to dwell on that. I know what Luna said about me dealing with change was right. And yes, Twilight has saved the day, along with her friends, time and time again without fail. I just can’t help but feel as if we’re going to lose the adorable book loving neat freak I got to know over the last few years. Then again, wings and title hadn’t changed her, now had they? Still, I always took a chance to spend some time with the mare who had taught me pretty much all I knew about magic.
The two of us were currently doing something we both loved; reading. I was contentedly working my way through Admiral Lord Cochrane’s biography; ‘Memoirs of a Fighting Captain’, his stories of his time in the sloop HMS Speedy having gone on to inspire the exploits of the more fictional Jack Aubrey and his own HMS Surprise. Twilight meanwhile was happily going over a history text that had come through the rift some time ago; ‘Europe Since Napoleon’, a chronology of major affairs on the continent and in Britain following the Corsican upstart’s defeat at Waterloo.
She was deeply engrossed in the text, fascinated by the goings on in nineteenth century Europe. And her distraction, and habit of ignoring the world around her allowed me to have a little fun.
I consider it a point of principle to have a good eye for details, and I try to improve my observational skills whenever I have a chance. I’d been watching Twilight all morning we’d spent together. I knew roughly where she was in the book too. She was presently reading about Italian unification, and the war between Piedmont-Sardinia, backed by the Second French Empire, against Austria, which at that time held dominion over much of the north of Italy, while the Papacy held lands further to the South, along with other smaller states. It was a bloody war, not intended to create Italy at all, and in the long run it achieved little, even when the country was fully unified. After all, even today, there is and was a strong divide between the various parts of the country. Garibaldi himself even said that while they had created Italy, they had yet to create Italians. The creation of Italian national identity was made even more difficult by the fact that most of the fighting was done by the frogs.
Eventually, Twilight set down her book. Looking up from my own text, I carefully watched her eyes move about the room as she sat back, no doubt pondering what she had just read. They moved hither and thither as the alicorn thought about the affair. Eventually, she shook her head slightly to herself, and I tried my hand.
“You’re right, Twilight,” I agreed. “There must be better ways for people to settle their differences.”
Twilight smiled and nodded for a moment until the implication of what I’d said hit her. Then she jumped with a start.
“Ahh! What the hay?!” she exclaimed, jumping up and nearly falling out of her chair as her wings flared out. I couldn’t resist chuckling.
“Jeez. Careful, Twilight,” I chided. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”
“But...how...how did you know what I was thinking?!” the alicorn demanded furiously as she got a hold of herself. “Have you been messing around with dark magic again? I thought we agreed you’d stick to theory only.”
I was quick to reassure her that no magic was at play here.
“Relax, Twilight,” I said. “I haven’t used any magic except to turn the pages of this book.”
“Then how did you know what I was thinking?”
“Simple,” I replied with a shrug of my shoulders. “Observation. Something I picked up from one of those Sherlock Holmes stories.”
“But how?” Twilight asked, now more curious than anything. I took her through my process.
“Well, first I saw when I went to get some coffee you were reading about Italy’s war of independence,” I began. “When you set the book down, I saw from your expression that you were troubled. Your eyes drifted over to that photo of your brother and Cadence. I saw your eyes linger on him. You smiled to yourself, thinking of how brave and noble he is, and how gallant the cause you’d just read about was.
“Then your expression changed. You remembered how Shining had been hurt in the course of his duties as captain of the guard, and pondered how the same had happened to so many Frenchmen and Italians. Then your face fell as you turned your attention to the small photo of Tempest Shadow nearby, and you pondered how not all soldiers were as lucky as your brother, and how not all causes are noble, and how some can lead to disaster.
“That of course, led you to think of Tempest herself, a mare forever crippled, to never be entirely trusted for having fought on the wrong side. She might have been just another happy unicorn, instead, she is a scarred ex-soldier, her life forever marred by war. And from there, your thoughts returned to the book as you glanced over at it, and you drew parallels with that war, thinking of all those who were injured or killed over two different ideas.
“And so, seeing you so saddened, I chose that moment to break in on your thoughts, agreeing with you that war was indeed a foolish way of settling disputes.”
Twilight listened to my little explanation with no small amount of interest. However, my little lecture actually brought out some criticism from her.
“That’s not just observation though,” she retorted. “I mean, you followed where my eyes went. But your analysis of what I was thinking was all supposition. You were guessing most of the time. When I looked at the photo of Shining and Cadence, I could have been thinking about how long it’s been since I’ve seen them. And when I looked at the one of Tempest, I could have just been wondering what she’s up to now outside Equestria. Pretty much all of your deductions came from knowing me and knowing how I think. If you repeated the same experiment with a stranger, there’s no way you’d be able to do the same thing.”
“Twilight, you thought I was using magic to read your mind,” I said, feeling a little put out. “You can at least acknowledge that I was right.”
“You were, Bones,” she agreed, brightening up a little again before adding. “But it was still a guess.”
“Ten bits says you can’t do it though,” I replied teasingly. Twilight just blushed at that.
We both ended up laughing about it. In hindsight, I think Twilight was right to take me down a peg. On the other hoof, it was fun seeing her freak out a little. We ended up chatting a little about deductive and abductive reasoning over lunch. I even dug out the relevant story for us to read together. Twilight was just as scathing of Holmes’ analysis of Watson’s thoughts as she was of mine, but did admit that it made for a good party trick.
As with all things, Twilight also proved a quick study too, something I quickly learned when I prepared to leave. I was planning to drop by Sugarcube Corner on my way home to pick up some cakes for the Apple family, and was still torn between cupcakes or a single sponge to share. Twilight walked me to the door.
“Thanks for stopping by, Bones,” she said kindly.
“Anytime, Twilight. I suppose I’ll next see you when Applebuck Season starts.” Twilight giggled.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she replied.
I turned to go, but just as I got down the steps, she called out to me again.
“Oh, and Bones?”
“Yes?” I said, turning around.
“I think you’re right. Cupcakes would be a better choice.”
With that, she went back inside, leaving me suitably stunned. I hadn’t even said anything to her about my little errand.
As the summer holidays ramped up, Ponyville was fast becoming a busy, bustling place. While some ponies regard the small town as a bit of a backwater, a lot of ponies also enjoyed the typically slower pace of life the town offered. While the town never saw the same tourist numbers that were caused when Twilight and her friends published their friendship journal, you’d often come across a few tourists, mainly from Canterlot.
And that, as I made my way over to Sugarcube Corner, was exactly what I encountered. As I was making my way through the market square, I was approached by a fairly tall and rather pretty unicorn. She had a light green coat, almost sea foam in colour, with a two toned ginger mane that hung loose about her shoulders, rather like Fleur de Lis. Her cutie mark meanwhile was a ladybug with three leaves underneath it. What caught my attention though were her eyes. They were an odd greenish colour with varying shades in the iris; quite unusual for a pony. There was something familiar about them too, something I couldn’t quite put my hoof on. You know that feeling where you think you recognise somepony but can’t quite remember where? That was what I was getting from this mare. Had we met before?
I couldn’t place her, but she was clearly a tourist judging by the camera hanging around her neck. And at the moment, she seemed to be in a bit of difficulty, looking around like she was lost.
“Excuse me,” she called out as she trotted up. “Could you help me please?”
Her voice was a little shrill perhaps, but not unpleasant. Despite that, I suddenly found the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Again, I had this strange feeling as if I knew this pony from somewhere. But for the life of me, I couldn’t recall where. Now, on its own, this was odd enough, but what was stranger was my reaction to her. For a brief moment, only a split second, I felt fear, followed by a flash of anger. There was something in that voice, the body language; something hidden underneath. My ears couldn’t hear it and my eyes couldn’t see it, but my subconscious knew something was up. I felt my muscles tighten as a fight or flight response kicked in. By the time she was standing next to me, my subconscious was screaming one simple command; ‘kill’.
For whatever reason, this cute enough, and apparently lost unicorn had gotten me on edge like you wouldn’t believe. On the one hoof, I was tempted to trust my gut. After all, you do hear stories of people being unsettled on first meeting someone, and then later finding out they’re a wanted murderer or something. But on the other hoof, at least as far as my memory knew, I’d never met this mare in my life. It was quite possible that my mind was mixing her up with somepony else. After all, little things like a laugh of a particular scent can be powerful ways to recall a memory. Maybe that was it, and this mare just reminded me of something unpleasant.
So, burying my odd feelings on the matter, and ignoring the subconscious instinct I was feeling to go utterly postal, I put on my best friendly face and turned to the mare.
“Sure, miss,” I said kindly, touching the brim of my hat. “What’s the problem?”
“Well, I’m trying to find my way back to the train station,” she explained. “But none of these dullard earth ponies will help me.” She gestured to the various ponies around us going about their business.
I bristled at her rather off colour remark. She was most definitely from Canterlot alright. While it may be the home of the two sisters and the seat of power for the Equestrian government, it was also home to a, admittedly small, minority of rather self-important unicorns. The same thing had cropped up when I was in Canterlot for the Summer Sun Celebration. Fire Flare and her skilled troupe of performers, who were supposed to use their magic to create a fireworks display, randomly stormed off and threw a fit shortly before the ceremony. When me and Dad called them out, she went on this tirade about not wasting her time with dullard earth ponies and feather brained pegasi. Since then, every now and then, there had been a number of little incidents between ponies from different tribes. Just little squabbles really, but more and more of it seemed to be about which tribe you came from. Dad had said he’d been seeing more and more of it at Day Court too.
Well, I wasn’t about to stand for any of that. My marefriend, and a good many of my close friends were earth ponies. I wouldn’t hear of them all being tarred with the same brush. True there were earth ponies who were jackasses, (no offence) but that didn’t mean you could apply the same label to all of them, just as I don’t consider all unicorns stuck up and boastful.
“I’d be happy to show you the way,” I replied, my tone a little stern. “But I can assure you, none of the ponies here are dullards, and I would thank you not to use such language.”
“Oh, I know it isn’t their fault. It’s just the way they are,” the mare said in a condescending tone. “It’s worse the way they hoard the harvests every year and keep the best for themselves.”
Okay, what?!
“What?!” I exclaimed. The mare tittered.
“Oh, come on, every unicorn worth their magic knows that,” she said. “Just as how the pegasi always make sure to tend to their own towns first before bringing anypony else the weather they need.”
What was this mare on?! I didn’t know Equestria had conspiracy theorists. Were chemtrails a thing here too? Still, I guess it explained my reaction in a way; I was having a flashback of an encounter with a couple of teenage Mormon girls when I was on holiday in the States. For one brief shining moment I thought I’d won the lottery, and then the book came out.
“That’s nonsense!” I rebuffed harshly. “The three tribes work together. It’s how Equestria functions.” Still, the pretty whack job beside me kept it up.
“Oh I know they pretend to,” she said. “But let’s be honest. They wouldn’t last a week without us unicorns and our magic. And who tells them all what to do most of the time? Unicorns. Sure, we all pretend it’s an equal partnership, but deep down, I think we all know who is in charge.”
“That would be Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,” I cut her off with a snarl, my patience running out. “Now, you’ll find the train station if you go to the end of this street and turn left. Have a nice trip.”
And with that, I left the stuck up proverbial Canterlot snot to her ramblings. What a load of horse apples! It was bad enough last year when Equestria was swarming with xenophobes. But ponies against ponies? Honestly. Did Hearth’s Warming happen, or was it just some bloody fever dream? It certainly seemed like it of late, the way some ponies were acting. What worried me was that some ponies, of all tribes, were actually listening to that nonsense. But it seemed there was little I could do about it though. After all, as Mark Twain said; ‘Never try to argue with a stupid person. They will drag you down to their level, and beat you with their experience.’. I just hoped her behaviour didn’t make earth ponies or pegasi think that all unicorns were like that.
Still, at least they weren’t all like that. I caught a glimpse of Bon Bon and Lyra as I headed back home. Those two are adorable together. Or look at me and AJ; it’s the same thing, a unicorn and an earth pony. It didn’t matter which tribe you came from. Now if only that strange mare could be so enlightened.
It certainly explained why I’d felt so uneasy when she walked up to me, Mormons aside. Maybe I have a subconscious horse apples detector? At least, that was what I’d thought at the time. Looking back, I should have clocked those eyes. I still can’t believe I didn’t see it, didn’t hear that smug, superior tone in her voice, never mind that sickly green glow of her magic. Turns out I should give my subconscious more credit. It seems, unlike me, it can spot a changeling a mile off.
Luckily, with the start of Applebuck Season a few days later, I got to see the other side of ponies. In reality, while vocal, those who, for whatever reason took issue with another tribe, were few and far between. While once upon a time Applebuck Season was something undertaken by just two earth ponies, Applejack and Big Mac, these days, in order to lighten the load her friends pitched in whenever they could. As I said before, Twilight was on hoof on the first day, even turning up at six in the morning to start. Her alicorn magic, which Applejack is now far less hostile about her using, allowed her to clear lots of trees at a time, levitating dozens of apples from their perches and neatly placing them into the baskets.
It certainly made life easier for us on the first day. A unicorn I may be, but my magic is only really useful for quickly collecting stray apples. I still kick away at the trees to harvest them. And even then, I didn’t hold a candle to Big Mac or AJ. Still, we made good progress that first day, with Twilight putting us well ahead of schedule. The only downside was the paparazzi who briefly rocked up to take their photos. Twilight’s presence here was something of a political move, after all. I wasn’t the only one to notice rifts beginning to form. Over the next few days, she’d be helping us out, teaching foals basic magic at the elementary school, and helping the Wonderbolts with some major weather work. Celestia hoped this would reinforce the idea of ponies all working together under the guidance of their new princess.
Twilight’s brief spot of help actually made the rest of the season much more tolerable. All year long I half looked forward to this, because of all the apples, but also dreaded it because of all the work, and crawling into bed each night exhausted. This year though, while the work remained tough, was nowhere near as back breaking as it used to be. I still can’t believe Applejack tried to do it all herself, nor how far she got before she finally ran out of steam.
The next few days saw a steady stream of help from our friends. Dash swung by a couple days later, and promptly got goaded by a clever Applejack into a competition to see who could clear the most trees in a day. AJ won, but it was a close call, but the two also got pretty much all of the west orchard done and dusted.
Fluttershy too stopped by, enlisting the help of her animal friends, with the promise of proper compensation, of course, to help load up the carts with apples. The birds in particular were helpful, flying up to the tops of trees and dislodging particularly stubborn apples.
Pinkie Pie, being an earth pony herself, brought plenty of raw strength to the game, as well as her unique ability to seemingly bend reality. After somehow getting her hooves on coffee when she stopped by for breakfast, the mare went utterly berserk and tore across the fields and went right through the orchards, bouncing off the apple trees like a pinball. The impacts dislodged the fruit by the cartload. Now if only I could explain how or why the trees lit up when she hit them, and made the distinctive metal pinging sound as she bounced off.
And finally, Rarity dropped by. For once, she came without her dragon companion. Turns out the little drake may finally have come to his senses. Apparently, he’s been hanging around with Gabby, that griffon the Crusaders made friends with a while back. Rarity suddenly found herself no longer the sole subject of Spike’s affections, leaving her without her normal servant. Serves her right too, if you ask me. She did rather lead him on a bit and take advantage of his crush on her. Mind you, she’s tried the same with a lot of stallions, including me a couple of times.
A few moons ago
I was in Carousel Boutique, having been asked by Rarity to drop by. Having picked up more than a few of AJ’s DIY skills, I occasionally moonlighted as a handyman for a few extra bits if things were quiet on the farm. Rarity had asked me to stop by to help her fit a couple of replacement glass panes in one of the upstairs windows. Those knuckleheads Snips and Snails had been playing nearby, brushing up on Snails’ buckball skills, when the ball missed the mark and crashed straight through Rarity’s upstairs window. She’d bought replacement panes, paid for in part by the two foals, and just needed me to help remove the damaged one and fit the new one in its place.
She’d called me when the incident happened, and I’d put a good chunk of plywood in place to cover the hole until a more permanent solution could be found. I was now removing this so I could start the work. Rarity was more than grateful.
“I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate you helping me out with this, Bones,” she said sweetly, standing at the doorway as I worked.
“It’s no bother, Rarity,” I replied. “I’m just glad the new glass is here. It didn’t look right seeing your shop with this wooden panel across the window.”
“Quite,” she agreed. “It was most unsightly. I was worried that it might start to drive away my customers. After all, who wants to come to such a ramshackle looking store?”
“Oh, I doubt anypony was discouraged by just that,” I replied as I scrubbed out the putty from the frame and began to prepare the new glass pane.
“You’d be surprised, darling,” Rarity countered. “First impressions do count after all. And if the first thing ponies see is a smashed window, they may very well make judgements on the business as a whole.”
As I started setting the new pane in place, I resisted the urge to chuckle at Rarity’s worry. If this was a downstairs window, at the front of the shop, I’d understand. But this was one window, on the upstairs floor at the back of the building. Still, valid or not, she wouldn’t need to worry now as I finished setting the frame in place.
“There we go,” I said, getting back to my hooves. “Give it a day or so to make sure the putty is set before you open it. Otherwise, you should be good to go.”
“Oh, thank you, darling,” Rarity said, briefly hugging me and somewhat draping herself over me. “Whatever would I do without you?”
“It’s no bother, Rarity,” I assured her, gently trying to pry her off. She tittered at that.
“Oh and so modest too,” she went on. “I don’t suppose I could call on your services again, could I?”
Ah, here we go. While I’d been able to do this quick job for her, I still had plenty I needed to do on the farm today.
“Depends,” I replied. “I’ve got a lot of chores to do today. So if it’s a big job, it’ll have to wait for another time.”
“Oh it’s nothing really,” Rarity assured. “Just a couple of leaky pipes in the basement. I’m sure a stallion of your skill could have it mended in a jiffy.”
As she said that, she fluttered her eyelids at me. I knew that look well. It was supposed to make me roll over with all four paws in the air, and it would work on more than a few stallions too. Rarity may be the Elements of Generosity, but she isn’t above using her looks to get what she wants. Fixing water pipes though could often turn into quite a big job, depending on what was causing the leaks.
“Sorry, Rarity,” I said kindly. “But I'm afraid I won’t be able to tackle something like that today. Plus, you’re better off hiring a professional for something like that.” Rarity however, wasn’t about to give up that easily.
“Please, darling,” she pleaded. “I’m sure there’s something I can do for you in return.” Again, she fluttered her eyelids and ran a hoof up my chest, trying to turn up the heat.
A pleasant side effect of Spike somewhat getting over his boyhood crush meant this behaviour would ease off later on. But for now, I had to put up with it. Or rather, I had to remind her who she was trying it on with. One advantage of not being interested physically in either gender, although my love for Applejack, romantically speaking, could probably keep a changeling hive going for a decade, meant that Rarity’s charms had very little effect on me. As she looked up again, expecting to see me putty in her hooves, I just looked down at her with slight disinterest.
“That doesn’t work on me, Rarity,” I said plainly.
The unicorn, suitably embarrassed, promptly dropped her attempt at flirting. Not that she would ever do anything serious. After all, she knows how much AJ and I care for each other. Still, it is her greatest character flaw, although it does have its uses at times.
Anyway, back to the present, Rarity did indeed drop by, sans Spike, who came along with Twilight instead. She too used her magic to help out with the harvest. I have to admit, even though I am glad to see it, it was odd to see her without Spike following at her heels. I’d always thought that there was some reciprocation on her part, but until Spike started, in a platonic way I might add, hanging out with Gabby, I didn’t realise how much. True, she did take advantage of his attraction, but it seems that there was indeed some love in there too. It’s certainly an interesting reversal of roles to see the lady doing the chasing. I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I just wonder what will happen in the long run, and if the two of them, when Spike is a little older, will ever hook up.
The most unusual help we got though, was from my own family. It was a rare thing that we all had a chance to get together, and despite the hard work, both my parents and my little sister managed to spare some time to help out on the last couple days of the harvest when the work was beginning to ease off.
It was another bright and clear day in late August. Summer was starting to wind down now as we made our way towards autumn. Before too long these trees would be turning shades of red and gold, and losing their leaves, as well as their apples.
We were nearly done with Applebuck Season, and the barn was fast filling up with produce. Some of this would be taken to market for sale, while others would be kept back for cider season, the next big event on the calendar. That would be after the coronation too. It was going to be a busy autumn.
We’d split into teams for today. Applejack was working with my mom and Apple Bloom, Lizzie, who was no doubt very happy with the situation, was with Big Mac, leaving me to work my section of the orchards with Dad. While he lacked the muscle power to buck a tree like a pony could, he still did a decent job. Instead of kicking, he’d shake the trees to make the apples fall, occasionally shimmying part way up the trunk to use his hands to pull down some of the more stubborn ones. Given how we weren’t in too much of a rush, what with all the help we’d had over the last couple weeks, the two of us were chatting together. At the moment, Dad was telling me a funny story about a recent case he’d had up in Day Court.
It involved the Friendship Express of all things; the train he uses to get to work up in Canterlot. The bright pink, heart covered steam engine was a familiar sight in Ponyville. He’d actually been on the train when the incident happened. Apparently, there was some work being done on the line, and the signals indicated that the driver should slow down and come to a stand a little ways up the switchback climb up the Canterhorn while the workmen finished up. But being so familiar with the route, and distracted by nattering to his fireman, he’d ploughed through the distance signal at full tilt, and committed a SPAD when he blew through the home signal, which was set to danger. It was only that the repair crew had the good sense to put detonators up the line from where they were working that the driver realised his mistake and slammed on the anchors.
The investigation got kicked up to Day Court due to how serious it was. After all, had it not been for those three detonators on the track, he could well have crashed right through the repair crew and possibly killed someone, or even derailed the train. Now, what was funny about all this you ask?
“And so,” Dad said, still giggling to himself as he recounted the story. “Celestia is standing there giving the engineer a right telling off for being so reckless and not watching the signals and gumming up all the network behind him. I’m standing next to her just minding my own business, and then all of a sudden, just as she’s winding up, she goes and says ‘Steamer, this is a very serious matter; you have caused confusion and delay’.”
I chortled at that, recognising the line from one of my favourite TV shows as a kid.
“Naturally, Tia turns to me and looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. And that just made it worse. I ended up having to step out for a minute and she gave me Hell afterwards.”
“I bet,” I said with a chuckle. “What happened to the driver anyway?” Dad now became serious.
“P45, son,” he replied. “It if wasn’t for the workmen on the line he might have gotten away with it. But another three hundred feet and he could have killed somepony.” Harsh, but you could see why.”
“I’m surprised they don’t have something like AWS on those trains,” I said. “Especially since they still use those old semaphore signals.”
“What’s that then?” Dad asked. “You know I’m not a train nutter like you. I thought ponies were odd enough.”
“Automatic Warning System. It’s that sunflower dial they have in the cab. A couple hundred yards up from a signal, you go over a box. If the signal is at caution or danger it blows a horn and it switches so that the dial looks like a sunflower. You press a button to reset the system, and it reminds you you’re not running under a green. If you don’t hit the button in time, it puts the brakes on like a dead man’s pedal would. When you pass a clear signal, it rings a bell as a reminder, and turns the sunflower black. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than remembering to stick your head out the engine.”
“Oh, I see,” Dad said, somewhat interested as he put more energy into shaking the last few apples from one of the trees. “I might mention it to Tia tomorrow. The investigation is still ongoing at the moment. Maybe they can get it in as a recommendation.”
A little while later, we all returned to the farmhouse for lunch, giving us all a chance to talk together. It was while we were all sitting around the dinner table that the subject of the growing disharmony came up.
“You’ve noticed it too then?” Mum was saying. “At first I thought it was just a one off, but some of the kids have been getting really mean about it. Little Twist even had a go at Apple Bloom the other day for hanging around with her friends, what with them not being earth ponies.”
“Seriously?” Lizzie said incredulously. “Something screwy is definitely going on. When Dewdrop and I took that big storm system from Cloudsdale down to Appleloosa, we got stared at the whole time we were in town. We were pretty much the only pegasi there.”
“It’s pretty strange. I’ll say that,” Dad agreed, casting a quick glance my way. “There seems to be all these madcap conspiracy theories flying around at the moment. Things like ‘earth ponies are hoarding crops’, or ‘unicorns are plotting a takeover and need to have their magic limited’. It just makes no sense, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out what’s brought it on, neither can Celestia or Luna. All we know is that it started after the Summer Sun Celebration.”
“Could it be somethin’ to do with the princesses retirin’?” Applejack suggested.
“Makes sense,” I added. “A big change like this, uncertainty, and you start looking out for yourself.”
“They’re not just lookin’ out for themselves, Bones,” Big Mac said. “Some ponies are gettin’ real distrustful of the other tribes. I even saw it when I went to see Sugar Belle last week.”
“I’d just like to get my hooves on that pear brained idiot who started all these insane rumours. That’s all they are. And why is it ponies are suddenly so willin’ to believe such nonsense?”
“Well, at least we can say none of the Apple family ascribe themselves to such tomfoolery,” Granny Smith said as she brought in dessert. “And with any luck, the coronation will help bring folks to their senses.”
I certainly hoped so. I just wished I knew what was causing it. Like Applejack said, it was all just mud slinging. Confronted with facts, none of it stood up to scrutiny. What worried me though was how divisive it was becoming. Equestria depends on the unity of the three tribes. While we were nowhere near the pre-Hearth’s Warming level of distrust and discord, if this kept up, it could cause serious problems. More to the point, it was clear that someone was doing this to foster distrust. Could this be Discord’s little experiment? I wished I knew, but I hadn’t seen him for a while. Even with Dad he’d been oddly absent and distant.
That moron was planning something, and he had an idiot, a child, and an ex-queen who I consider to be extremely dangerous, alone or otherwise helping him. Three sociopathic scoundrels. But what good could it do? Was he trying to drive a wedge between Twilight’s friends so they couldn’t use their powers? No, their friendship was too strong for that. And when they made their move, surely ponies would rally together against a common foe. Besides, the three of them, combined with Discord wouldn’t need such divisions; they were dangerous enough on their own.
I went to bed that night, as the last day of the harvest drew to a close, still trying to figure things out. Discord had some plan in the works, and he would no doubt set it in motion when Twilight was crowned. I half-trusted his assurance that he could act as a safety net, but still, not knowing what was in the works gave me pause.
If I had known what was really going on in that little hideaway of his, I wouldn’t have slept a wink that night.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
A couple quick explanations. SPAD is short for 'signal passed at danger', in railway terms, running a red light. A P45 is a tax form analogous to the 'pink slip' in the States.
As a Brit, the holidays don't quite line up here. Most schools are closed by mid-July with a summer holiday of six weeks.
Finally, the music Bones and AJ dance to, 'Ashokan Farewell', is taken from Ken Burns' documentary series on the Civil War, though surprisingly, does not date from the period.
Next week, on to September for the series finale.
“You know, ever since I came to Equestria, I’ve gotten myself caught up in a fair few adventures. I’ve trekked my way through the Everfree Forest, I’ve found myself caught up in monster attacks and enemy invasions. I’ve even crossed paths with some of the most dangerous creatures in Equestria and beyond. But none of these adventures hold a candle to one my good friend, Big Macintosh, is embarking upon today. May Celestia help the poor soul.”
The audience chuckled at that. Dad had told me to throw in one joke early and then not push my luck.
I was standing next to Big Mac, who was sitting down in the middle of a long table, all facing the audience. And next to him was Sugar Belle, his new wife. Yes, the day had finally come. After much courting, dating and romancing, Big Mac had finally got down on one knee and asked Sugar Belle to marry him. It didn’t exactly go smoothly, mind you, but the important thing was that the mare said “yes”. And so, after a short engagement, the two had gotten married right here on Sweet Apple Acres, in front of the same tree where Mac’s dearly departed parents had tied the knot all those years ago.
Mayor Mare, as the resident justice of the peace, presided over the ceremony, which was a strictly civil one, given how Equestria, in perhaps one of its biggest deviations from Earth, lacks any form of organised religion. And yet somehow morality still exists without magical sky people. Funny that. I’d been asked many times by certain Bible loving nutjobs where my value system came from without reference to God, and was even told that I must be without a moral compass due to my lack of belief. Anyway, it was a reasonably simple ceremony, but still a wonderful thing to watch. With the exception of Shining and Cadence, I can’t recall ever seeing two ponies so much in love.
But we were past that now. The wedding was done, the knot tied, the photos had all been taken of the happy couple, and the attending single mares had all but scratched each others eyes out in an effort to catch the bouquet. Believe it or not, Pinkie caught it. We were now at the reception, still out in the open air, for it was a beautiful day in early September. The weather was warm, the wind calm, you know, pretty much perfect. And I had been given the singular honour by Big Mac of being his best man. And so, here I was, giving my speech.
“I remember the first time I saw Mac in the flesh,” I continued after the laughter had subsided. “It was my first night in Ponyville and I needed a place to stay. Applejack had offered me a place, so I came up here to take her up on the offer. So I’m standing at the door, knocking on it, and a moment later I’m staring straight at this wall of deep red. I look up and this building with eyes is looking down at me. And so I squeak out ‘Erm...I’m looking for Applejack...is...is she in?’. And he pauses for a moment, thinks about it, and then looking me straight in the eye says in this deep booming voice ‘Eeyup’. And I damn near fainted.” Again came the laughs.
“I quickly learnt that Mac was a stallion of few words,” I went on. “He’d quite happily go the whole day without saying two words to you. Not from malice or shyness or anything like that; he just chooses his words carefully. If there’s no point in saying something, he won’t say it. He doesn’t feel the need to fill a silence. And at first, I found it a little strange. But as time went on, I began to come around to see how it made sense. We all spend our lives talking and talking, but so often, we don’t say much of any meaning. But with Mac, everything he says had a meaning, a purpose. When he saw that Sugar Belle was upset one day, he didn’t start chattering away saying ‘it’s alright, it’s okay’. Instead, he hugged her, comforted her, and then he went and fixed the problem. He didn’t need to say anything; his actions did all the talking that was needed.
“I have to admit, I find myself feeling a little jealous of the happy couple beside me. To have that closeness, that almost unspoken bond. Every Hearts and Hooves day, I see ponies going on and on about how much they love their partner. But these two, they didn’t need to. It doesn’t need to be said. You just look at them and you can tell instantly. There’s no need for affirmations, reassurances. They just know. Their bond runs so deep that it transcends the spoken word. We should all be so lucky.”
I paused for a moment to dab my eyes. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry doing this. I’d spent days and days working to get this all perfect for them. Luckily, I was near the end. It was time for the toast.
“Would you all please raise your glasses?” I asked, as I picked up my own champagne flute in my magic.
I turned to look down at both Mac and Sugar Belle. Mac looked positively dashing in his suit, while Sugar Belle was the envy of every mare in Equestria, sporting a dress of Rarity’s design, modelled after the one she made for Cadence. I smiled at the happy couple as I began.
“Big Mac. You have been the pillar that supported this farm and this family for over twenty years, through disaster and through triumph. I cannot think of a better foundation for the new life you are about to embark on. Sugar Belle. You have endured hardship, loss and pain, and yet emerged all the stronger for it. Combined together, there is no force in all Equestria that can stop you. For there is nothing that can stand in the path of true love. And so, in the best traditions, I wish you both all the best. To Big Mac and Sugar Belle!”
“To Big Mac and Sugar Belle!” the audience echoed as the applause started.
I guess I hadn’t made a complete hash of it.
With the speeches done and dusted, the party got into full swing. Pinkie Pie had all but insisted on offering her services and had taken great pains to ensure that all went smoothly and everypony had a good time. After all, you only get married once (well, for the most part, I certainly doubted anything short of death would cause Mac and Sugar Belle to split). And the two did deserve a day where everything went off without a hitch. After all, Mac’s proposal hadn’t exactly gone as he would have liked.
To his credit, he’d thought long and hard about how to propose to Sugar Belle. He spent weeks planning it, not just finding the right ring, but also coming up with the right way to present it. His plan would have astounded even Princess Cadence . He planned a sort of treasure hunt in a way, taking inspiration from the way Shining and Cadence told Twilight they were going to have a baby. He planned to set up a trail of apples all around Ponyville, starting at Sugarcube Corner. On the stem of each apple would be a clue to find the next. This would ultimately lead Sugar Belle to Sweet Apple Acres, ideally a little before sunset, where Mac would be waiting with a picnic. And there, in the light of a golden sunset, he’d get down on one knee and ask the mare he loved to marry him.
Even as an asexual with only a limited interest in romance myself, I had to admit, it was a beautiful thing and wonderfully romantic. Unfortunately, Big Mac forgot that old adage; no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. All it took was one ill timed moment for Sugar Belle to be distracted, and she walked right out of Sugarcube Corner, completely missing the first apple. And without that, there was nothing to set her on the trail.
Now, this on its own could be remedied. The next problem came from who Big Mac asked to help him. I myself was out in the fields with AJ, finishing up the last few jobs of Applebuck Season. I’d say Mac’s closest friend off the farm has to be Discord. The pair bonded ever since Mac and Spike introduced the spirit of chaos to Ogres and Oubliettes. And, to Discord’s credit, he did genuinely try to be a good friend. The key word there being try. Even when he legitimately tries to help he can be remarkably disruptive. All across Equestria there are ponies that still have nightmares about the time that Discord “helped” them. Just look at his bonkers plan to ‘help’ Twilight.
He’d found out, and accidentally told pretty much everypony except Sugar Belle by screaming it to the heavens, that Mac was going to pop the question. It should be noted that this news seemed to send half the mares of Equestria into a pit of despair, particularly Cheerilee, Marble Pie, and strangely both princesses up in Canterlot. And of course, he wanted to help. So Mac, like so many comedy movie protagonists before him, gave Discord one simple job. All he had to do was finish setting up the little treasure hunt by setting out the remaining apples, since Spike, who was previously helping Mac out, was now busy helping the Cakes with baking.
When Sugar Belle missed the first apple, Discord did what any sane pony would do. He used his chaos magic to bring the apples to life and told them all to go to their requisite positions and give their messages. Oh, wait, no sane pony would do that, would they? And why? Because it resulted in the market being terrorised by around two dozen sentient apples all screeching in demonic voices their romantic messages to anypony who came within a mile of them. Better yet, when two of them bumped into each other, they merged into a larger entity.
Big Mac meanwhile, quite unaware of the Hell he’d inadvertently unleashed on Equestria, was waiting on the hilltop back on the farm for Sugar Belle. When she didn’t show however, he realised that something had to be wrong and headed into town. And in a never ending comedy of errors, Discord, realising the apple treasure hunt wasn’t really working, used his magic to teleport Sugar Belle to the farm, with Big Mac no longer there. When Big Mac returned to Sugarcube Corner, to find out what was going on, Discord teleported her back and also blindfolded her. There was a slim chance things could be saved.
And that chance went hurtling off into the depths of the universe, never to be seen again until the end of time, when Discord’s sentient apples, now turned into a horrifying eldritch abomination, lumbered into town and all but screamed out Big Mac’s request for Sugar Belle’s hoof. I think the phrase that describes everypony’s feelings at that point rhymes with “clucking bell”. Big Mac’s plan was utterly ruined.
Even better, it wasn’t only his plan that got turned upside down. Sugar Belle had also been planning to pop the question to her boyfriend. Equestria apparently doesn’t require men to propose to women, and allows either gender to be the one to make the first move. She and Mrs. Cake had cooked up twenty one different desserts, with similarly romantic messages hidden inside them. She planned to have the Crusaders bring Mac to Sugarcube Corner. But seeing Spike and Discord outside, they all hurried past to avoid giving the game away, which is how Sugar Belle first missed the starting apple on the trail.
It’s amazing isn’t it how one little mistake can result in a town almost being overrun by a giant apple monster that screams out romantic love poetry?
Luckily, Discord was able to at least somewhat redeem himself and used his magic to undo the damage. There was little he could do though about the ruined proposals. Spike was understandably furious with his friend as was Mrs. Cake.
Big Mac and Sugar Belle meanwhile, went off on their own for a while, eventually coming to the tree Bright Mac and Pear Butter planted so long ago. While Big Mac was embarrassed and ashamed of how he’d once again managed to make a fool of himself, Sugar Belle reflected that the path of true love wasn’t always smooth. And, if nothing else, neither of them would forget this day for the rest of their lives. With that, Big Mac proposed. And, rather unsurprisingly, Sugar Belle said yes.
And so, here we are, a couple weeks later at the wedding reception. As a way of forgiving Discord, or recognising the trouble he’d caused, Mac and Sugar Belle had invited him to the wedding, and he’d joined me alongside the other groomsmen. He even used his magic to once again bring some of the apples to life, though without being quite so destructive this time.
And of course, there was one job that Discord was perfectly suited to, and the one duty that I had delegated to him, despite my own position as the best man. That was planning the stag night. Because, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to go on a stag party planned by the closest thing Equestria has to Q? And more to the point, who’d want a sexually repulsed asexual like me to plan theirs? So, we gave Discord the job, setting the limits as no permanent physical or mental harm and that Big Mac had to be capable of attending the wedding afterwards. Other than that, we invited him to let his chaotic talents take flight.
Now, I’ll admit, wild as Tartarus stag nights aren’t my cup of tea. Even back on Earth, a lot of people were put off by my apparent lack of vices. I don’t drink much, I never smoked, never tried any kind of drugs in college, seldom made love, rarely went out at night, and in general appeared to deprive myself of life’s pleasures. In short I’m a downright boring old sod who’s idea of a fun time consists of watching a good film with a few friends, and maybe playing some video games. The notion of going out on a pub crawl and ending up handcuffed to a lamppost is nothing short of repulsive to me, never mind some of the more lairy activities expected of a stag night. But I could hardly bow out as the best man, now could I? And Twilight is always saying I should get off the farm more.
So I went, not exactly with my heart and soul in it, but willing to let Mac have a fun night. Of course, you could say the same thing about the groom himself. Big Mac isn’t exactly a renowned party animal. Like me, he’s fairly restrained, something that I know drives Discord to distraction. Still, the draconequus was determined to show him a good time. And so, a week before the wedding, we all set out for Las Pegasus.
Now if only I could remember any of it…
Given that Discord was running the show, I think that’s probably for the best. Still, whatever he did must have been pretty wild, since one of the few souvenirs of my visit to the city of sin, aside from a sizeable stack of winnings from the casino and a few dozen photos of us all having a good time, is a document stating that I am forever banned from all casinos in the city, along with a warning that I will be arrested if I ever try to come back. I guess that, amidst the drinking, I must have found my way to the blackjack tables. Card counting, contrary to popular belief, isn’t that complicated, nor is basic strategy. And while it isn’t illegal and you don’t need to be Rain Man, casinos don’t like it when you win consistently, and after forcing the issue, will tell you that they no longer want your business and invite you to cash out your chips and be on your way.
Either that, or the pit boss and his goons take you to The Box and break a few bones to teach you a lesson. So I guess that put an end to any prospective gambling career for me here. Although I suppose I could always dust off my tuxedo and hop on the train down to Monte Coltco. I wouldn't mind a shoe or two of chemin de fer some time.
Mind you, by all accounts, Sugar Belle had an equally wild hen night courtesy of Pinkie. The following morning, Sugarcube Corner looked like a twister had hit it and the place was filled with semi-conscious hungover mares. So I think we can call it a case of Even Stevens.
We were done with all that now though. The vows had been made, the licence signed, and the reception was in full swing. Big Mac was happily dancing with his new wife while I took a break at one of the dining tables and listened to the music. As I began to drift off, my dad sat down to join me, having danced the afternoon away with Mum.
“You ever think about it, Bones?” he asked, catching my attention.
“Think about what?” I replied.
“Marriage,” he elaborated, gesturing to the happy couple across the way. “You know your mother has been circling like a vulture waiting for you to pop the question to dear Applejack. She is rather hoping for grandkids at some point.” I rolled my eyes at that. What is it with mothers and grandchildren?
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Maybe someday.”
“Well you better be careful,” he said jokingly. “You two have been living together long enough. Before you know it common law will kick in.” I rolled my eyes.
“Dad, you're the legal advisor to the princesses. You of all people should know that common law marriage is a load of horse apples.”
“Yes, boy,” Dad said with a slightly sad smile. “I was just joking. But seriously, you two have been together for a couple years now. You clearly love each other. Why not get down on one knee for the girl?”
See, this is where my relationship with Applejack is a bit different than most. I love her, of course, and she loves me. But our relationship is often...well, it’s more like very close friends. I mean, in the time I’ve known her, I can, or rather could if I still had hands, count the times we’ve been intimate on one hand. Yes from time to time we cuddle together and share romantic moments, and yes I do very much love her. But we still sleep in separate rooms most of the time. We don’t follow the norms of couples. Applejack is just the same as me, not being overly romantic, and certainly a far cry from the likes of Rarity. Yes, she too does, from time to time, do something intimate with me, but it isn’t a regular thing.
I remember once I tried to explain to a good friend in college, back when I was first discovering my asexuality, the concept. I could form romantic attachments, but it took a lot of time. And even if I was in love with someone, while that love could be extremely strong, I still wouldn’t feel the need to sleep with them. They looked at me, puzzled for a few moments, and then said I was kind of like The Doctor and his companions. It was a decent comparison, after all, he cares for them, in some cases more than friendship or family, but he never did anything physical with them. It simply didn’t interest him.
That’s basically how I feel about Applejack. I love her, of that there is no question. But at the same time, I didn’t love her as most would expect a stallion to love a mare. And while she has never openly objected to that, I know that AJ isn’t like me, she is attracted to me physically and to a degree needs that intimacy that I can’t give. To ask her to marry me, even if I did accommodate her own needs, just wouldn’t be right. I don’t experience sexual attraction. I’ve never been lost in the throes of passion. I’ve never looked at a mare and wanted her in that way. No matter how much you love someone, between the two of us, there would always be a gap. I love her, and for that reason, I would never ask her to marry me.
“It’s more complicated than that, Dad,” I said, still watching the two dance. Applejack was up there too with Apple Bloom. “I know ponies say how we’re all in love but, honestly, we’re more like really close friends most of the time. To be honest, I’ve been thinking about havin’ a talk with AJ about what we are.” To my surprise, Dad let out a short laugh.
“What do you think me and your mother are, Bones?” I looked up in surprise as he continued. “Yes, she’s my wife and I love her. But most of the time, we’re not being all romantic and such, we’re just close to each other. It’s like your grandad told me when I got married. He said ‘You done good, Roger. Cause, you know, your missus, she should be more than just your wife, she should be your best mate and all’. And I can see you two are that close. I know you’ve got your own hangups, and I’m sure Applejack has hers. But speaking as a man who’s been successfully married for over twenty five years, and who saw you two idiots were sweet on each other in the first place, I’d say you’ve got a decent shot at something with her.”
I pondered his words as the dance before us ended. He was right in what he said, but so was I in what I knew. And hey, it wasn’t like this was a ticking clock affair. We both had plenty of time to think about it. Maybe once the whole business with the coronation is over and done with, we can talk about it. It wouldn’t be long now, only a couple weeks to go. Maybe if I explained, he’d understand. But, like most people, I’d rather die than discuss my sex life with my parents.
As the band prepared to start up again, Apple Bloom scurried off to join her friends, leaving Applejack alone on the dance floor. Like any good coltfriend, I got up and trotted over. Whatever else you might say about our relationship, odd as it is, you can never say that I’m not romantic. I led Applejack in a dance just as I had at the reunion.
But while I was doing that, far away, cruel, twisted minds were regarding Equestria with envious eyes, and slowly but surely drawing their plans not only against us, but against their supposed master. Before Twilight could take the throne, Good would have to clash with Evil one last time.
It was the day of the coronation. Today, Twilight Sparkle, that adorable little bookworm who not so long ago arrived in Ponyville solely to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration and wanted to return to Canterlot as soon as possible, would be taking the throne, having become a wise, if at times a little anxious leader, who had saved Equestria more times that I cared to remember. In a way, I was feeling a little sorrowful. I would certainly miss having her and Spike around, and being able to just drop in to see her at the castle to chat about some new book or spell she was working on, or the latest friendship mission. On the other hoof though, this day marked a huge turning point for Equestria. Now if only the wider populace reflected that.
The growing disharmony had been getting worse. It still wasn’t all out strife, but even in Ponyville it was beginning to affect life. Earth ponies and pegasi I had called friends now refused to speak to me. Hell, I had to stop running the market stall because whenever I did, no earth pony would come and buy anything, believing that I was a rich, snobby unicorn who would cheat them out of their hard earned bits. Everyone in our little family was feeling the strain. Apple Bloom and the Crusaders had seen a major drop off in business for their cutie mark consultancy because of each individual’s race putting other ponies off. We were even having trouble from other earth ponies, who were, in some cases, trying to force an embargo on free trade in town, with special taxes for non-earth ponies. It was like sitting in some mad Indian throwback, with castes and laws governing who could talk with whom. And more alarmingly, it seemed there were only a few sane ponies left. The Apples and our friends, particularly the Mane Six all thought it was nonsense, as did the princesses. My own family too, although less affected by it, were equally alarmed and baffled. And what was worse was that while it had started as rumour and insane hearsay, some of what ponies was saying was coming true. Unicorns were getting more greedy and distrustful, pegasi tended to their own towns first, and earth ponies were hoarding their crops. In all honesty, I figured it would take just one little spark to set off a full scale civil war.
The worst part was that there seemed to be nothing I could do about it. I tried to talk to the unicorns I knew around, but everypony was so wrapped up in the conspiracies and wracked by mistrust that they wouldn’t listen. Some even called me disloyal to my tribe. It was a fine sodding way for Twilight to begin her reign, and I was sorry to see Celestia and Luna step down with the realm in such a state.
School was no better. While the non-pony students were no longer having to put up with racism, they now found themselves in the middle of another argument. The students of each tribe were dividing up into cliques, and trying to drag as many of their non-pony friends in with them. It made for more than a few Sophie’s Choice type scenarios. It pissed me off. I mean, these students were meant to be learning about the magic of friendship, and here they were all but tearing each other's eyes out. As I tried to get on with my lesson on magic, I ran out of patience. When the students filed in, the non-pony students sat in their normal seats, but the ponies seemed to segregate themselves. I frowned as everypony sat down, casting distrustful glares at each other.
“Right,” I said with something of a snarl. “How about we try this again? Let’s pretend for a moment that we all come from the same land, speak the same language, and apart from a few minor differences, are the same species. I will not have this Jim Crow horse apples in my classroom! Now all of you, get up! I want everypony sitting next to somepony of a different tribe! Now !”
The pony students did as they were told. But almost instantly the arguing began.
“Eww! No way! I’m not sitting next to some revolting dirt pony!” A unicorn mare sneered.
“And I’m not sitting next to some dumbass feather duster!”
“Why are we even listening to this horn head anyway?” A pegasus student shouted, pointing at me. “It’s their fault there’s all this disharmony in the first place!”
And with that, Bedlam returned. Gallus, and the other non-pony students, particularly our resident yak Yona, did their best to calm things down, but it soon turned into an all out and out brawl.
A brawl! Here! In the School of Friendship! Between ponies! I’d had enough. I had no more patience, no more fucks to give, no more diplomatic niceness. Seeing no other option, I resorted to the Starlight Glimmer method of teaching.
“That is it!” I bellowed.
Activating my magic, I poured all my strength into a levitation spell and, in a move that by my standards was pretty close to impossible, picked up all the ponies in the room in my magic. I was about to forcibly stick them in assigned seats, to Hell with the consequences. Luckily, at that moment, Starlight arrived to tell me the world was ending.
Short version; Discord’s plan had come unstuck. Turns out his three little apprentices had been able to find the bell after all. Their break in at the archives gave them the knowledge of how to use it. They’d taken his magic, though luckily couldn’t use it yet, and were now planning to attack Equestria and divide the place up between themselves.
Shorter version; in the words of James May, cock.
But, like all good, and some bad leaders, Twilight had a plan. She was calling for a networked defence around Canterlot. With her and the princesses there, excluding Cadence, it would be their most likely target. After all, she was the one who had always bested them, or had a hoof in it. Twilight, the princesses and her friends would defend the city. On the outskirts, around the Canterhorn, the Pillars of Old Equestria, pulled out of retirement, would act as an outer line, and finally, here, Starlight and Trixie would help to protect the school and Ponyville. If needed, one could fall back on the other, giving early warning at the same time. If there were three villains, it made sense to have three branches of heroes to put them down with.
Naturally, there was no way I was sitting on the sidelines for this one, and I quickly volunteered my services.
“I need you to help Trixie get all the students to shelter,” she explained. “We’ll use the caves under the school. If Chrysalis, Cozy or Tirek come here looking for me, they’ll be safe down there.”
Chrysalis and Cozy did rather have it in for Starlight. After all, she humbled and dethroned the changeling, and it was her removal from Cozy’s little incantation that caused the draining spell to collapse. To Tirek, she’d probably just be more magic. Still, there was no time to waste.
“Alright, you heard Professor Starlight,” I barked. “Everycreature follow me down to the caves. Leave your stuff here, just like a fire drill.”
The upside of this sudden turn of events was that the inter tribe squabbling was, for the most part, forgotten. Not entirely, but the nonsense seemed to lift a little.
We all headed out of the classroom and into the corridor, which was already full of students evacuating to the basement. We didn’t know how much time we had. After all, with no magic, Discord had had to walk to sound the alarm. Still, I, as did Starlight and Trixie, did my best not to panic. Panic and fear, I knew, were contagious things. But so was courage. So I kept calm and kept buggering on as Churchill would have put it.
The evacuation went pretty smoothly. There was some understandable panic, but for the most part, the students did as they were told, trusting their teachers. Once the last of the students were down the manhole, that left just Starlight, Trixie and myself above ground.
“You two head on down,” Starlight instructed. “I’ll stay up here. If any of our old friends do come calling, I don’t want any of the students in harm's way.”
“Well I’m not leaving you up here alone!” Trixie said defiantly.
“Agreed,” I added. “If there’s going to be trouble, I plan on being here to give it five rounds rapid.” Starlight however, was having none of it.
“No!” she said. “I need you two to stay and look after the students in case I...” she trailed off for a moment before she recovered herself. “They need someone to look after them. The both of you are to protect them at all costs. Understand?”
“Trixie...Trixie understands,” the showmare said tearfully, before hugging her friend.
“Good luck, Starlight,” I said. “Give ‘em hell, and we’ll do the same.”
With that, Trixie and I started to head down into the caves.
And that was when the whole building shook.
“Get in there! Now!” Starlight ordered.
With one last look as the mare turned to fight, I did the difficult deed of closing the hatch behind me.
Heading down the passageway, deeper into the cave system, I soon found Trixie again, who was doing her best to calm the now frightened students. They’d all heard and felt the shockwave. For all I knew, the school above us was a smoking ruin by now, with the rubble piled on top of us. Luckily, the caves let out a fair distance away outside of Ponyville, so it wasn’t like we were trapped here.
Still, it seemed that Starlight had indeed engaged the enemy. Who that was I didn’t know, it could be all three of them, or just one. That though, wasn’t really at the forefront of my mind. Starlight and the others would deal with the bad guys. My job, along with Trixie, was to look after the students. As much as I wanted to turn around and help Starlight, I knew that I would most likely be more a hindrance than a help. After all, look at how Sombra wiped the floor with me when I tried to face him one on one. From what I understood, this ancient magic that our old foes had taken was originally Grogar’s, stored in his ancient bell. It was on par with an alicorn, but with far more reserves, meaning they could cast spells that would tire even the likes of Celestia. I wouldn’t have a chance.
More to the point, while a part of me wanted to help, another part of me was quite happy to stay here in these caves and wait for things to blow over. After all, who knew what Discord’s former apprentices were capable of now? I certainly didn’t fancy the idea of getting captured, or worse.
So, I joined Trixie in ushering the students deeper into the cave. Our biggest concern right now was detection. Yes, these caves provided shelter, but their main defence was that whoever was attacking didn’t know we were here. I mean, I doubted we were of much concern to them, but if they figured out we were down here and launched a concerted attack, we’d be screwed. So we needed to get deeper into the caves.
That was easier said than done. While getting them down here was easy enough, once the proverbial shooting started, panic began to set in. Worse still, despite all that was going on, the pony students were still bickering over tribal nonsense, splitting into groups. Instead of the spirit of the Blitz I was hoping for, it seemed to be a case of every pony for himself. United, we’d be able to weather this storm. But like this, we were less than helpless. As Trixie and I herded the students into one of the larger open caverns, I tried to calm things down.
“Alright, everypony. Settle down!” I called out over frightened shouts. “We’re quite safe down here. Just keep calm. Princess Twilight will soon put a stop to this.”
“Princess Twilight?!” one of the students parroted in exasperation. “Oh yeah, sure, let’s all get the mutant unicorn to come save us.”
“Stow that horse apples!” I barked angrily. “She and her friends, from each tribe I might add, have saved Equestria time and time again, including each of the foes we’re currently facing.”
“Maybe if they did a better job at it, we wouldn’t be in this mess!” another pony piped up.
“They probably would have if they didn’t have those stupid pegasus ponies with them,” said another.
“As if,” a pegasus retorted. “Without us, you’d all have no way to water crops or end winter.”
“Yeah, you really showed that when the Storm King covered Canterlot!”
“At least I don’t come from a species that repeatedly abuses their magic for their own gain!”
“And at least I’m something other than a strong back and cheap labour!”
This was hopeless, and I was about to try and shut them all up again when the cavern shook with another impact. Some very powerful magic was at play out there. Dust and a few pebbles fell from the ceiling. I felt Trixie standing beside me as I looked up.
“That doesn’t sound good,” she said warily.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But it depends on who’s doing the blasting. What in the name of Celestia are we gonna do with these kids? It’s bad enough we’re all but at war, and they’re still keeping up this racist nonsense.”
“Trying times can force ponies apart as much as it can bring them together,” Trixie replied. “Especially when the seeds of discord have been planted beforehand.” I snorted and nodded in agreement.
“So how do we dig them out?” I asked. “We’ve both tried reasoning with them for the last month or so. But they just don’t listen.” Trixie thought for a moment.
“It has been the observation of the Great and Powerful Trixie,” she said, theatrically rolling her r’s. “That ponies react more to actions than mere words. Telling ponies you can vanquish an Ursa Major is one thing. A certain irritating unicorn turned alicorn levitating an Ursa Minor through the sky however, produces very different results.”
“Actions speak louder than words, eh?” I summarised.
“Precisely.”
But what could we do to help unify the students and get all three tribes working together again. The caves we were in, whilst subterranean, were not strictly underground. Around the school, there were several gorges and chasms. The caves let out into these through several pathways, but there were also a few breaches in the walls of the caves here and there, which let light in and let you see out. Not that there was much to see at the moment. Plus, Trixie had instructed the students to gather against the stronger walls for added protection, so nopony was looking out at the moment. Well, nopony that I’d spotted.
As we tried to deal with things, we heard another loud crash, albeit a little further away from us. This time the caves didn’t shake with the impact. Was the battle moving further away? Wanting to try and find something out, I trotted over to the outside wall to take a look. To my surprise, I found Gallus already there, his sharper eyes peering out.
“Gallus!” I snapped. “Get back with the others. You heard what Counsellor Trixie said.” Gallus did indeed back away, a look of utter terror on his face.
“Er...I think you better take a look at this, Professor,” he said shakily. That didn’t bode well.
Going up to his porthole, I closed my one eye and squinted through with the other. What I saw made my blood run cold.
The sky, previously clear and bright, was now overcast with thick dark clouds that seemed to stretch on forever. From those clouds, in the middle of September, came snowflakes, falling thick and fast. A wind was now howling too. There was already a faint shade of white as the snow began to stick. And worse still, that wasn’t the only thing in the sky. Swirling around the clouds, endlessly circling like wolves waiting out their prey, were large ethereal beings. Their heads had a vague horse like quality to them, but they were no equines.
“Oh dear Celestia,” I whispered in horror. “The Windigoes”
It made sense of course. With the three tribes divided as they were, the fire of friendship that had banished them had dwindled down to but an ember. There was now nothing to stop them returning, and with them, endless snow and cold, which would only grow stronger with the disharmony. If it wasn’t checked soon, the snow would fall, rivers would freeze, uncontrollable winter weather would cover all Equestria. And then...well, we might last a month, maybe two. But as the temperature dropped, eventually the inevitable would happen, and we would all freeze to death.
“It never rains, but it pours,” I said to myself.
Here we were, with Twilight and all of Equestria’s heroes fighting to protect us, and we’d just gone and made things a thousand times worse. Even if they would defeat Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy before things got too serious, there was no way to stop the Windigoes bar reuniting the three tribes. The last time this happened, at the first ever Hearth’s Warming, they survived with only seconds to spare. And that was assuming a lot too. The truth was, beyond ancient stories, we knew next to nothing about Windigoes. Hell, even I honestly thought they were either fictional or long dead.
I found myself getting angry. Angry at all the ponies who had just seemingly forgotten everything Equestria stood for; honesty, loyalty, generosity, kindness, laughter, magic. Even amongst these students, specialising in Friendship Studies, it seemed to have all flown out the window. Every man has his breaking point, and I just reached mine. A wave of magic washed over me and my colour faded as the hopeless magic that once overtook Twilight and her friends, and at one time afflicted the pretty hamlet of Hope Hollow, did a number on me. I turned back to Trixie and the huddled mass of students.
“Brilliant!” I exclaimed, a half mad look in my eye. “Well done, everypony. Great job! Thanks to you, and others like you, we are all, in all likelihood, going to die shortly. Out there, it’s snowing, and Windigoes circle the skies. You, each and every one of you, are responsible. Distrusting your former friends, just because of their race, spreading rumours and lies, listening to nonsense gossip. Equestria is now so divided, that it has all but fallen! I hope you are all proud of yourselves, you students of friendship!”
The students, and Trixie, took my ranting and raving with a mixture of silence and fear. Before too long though, they were rushing to the portholes to look out at the scene outside. They were all suitably terrified and were asking both me and Trixie the same single question. What did we do now?
“Don’t you get it?” I replied. “There’s nothing we can do! Unless the three tribes reunify and the disharmony ends, the Windigoes have an infinite supply of hatred and mistrust to feed off of.”
Now, in my heart of hearts, I knew that good would somehow prevail. We might not have had a plan, or in fact any idea of what to do. But I knew something would save us. Others however, were not so passive in their approach.
“Then we need to take away that fuel!” Ocellus said defiantly.
“Ocellus is right!” Silverstream agreed. “If Headmare Twilight and the other professors are busy fighting, then we need to do something to stop this!”
“Like what?” Gallus observed. “You heard Professor Star; everypony is so distrustful of each other. Plus, you know, insanely powerful villains running amok.”
“Exactly!” the hippogriff replied. “We take out one, we can defeat the other. If ponies can work together to defeat one evil, then the magic of friendship would be able to stop the other.”
“But ponies are all barricading themselves away from each other,” Sandbar pointed out.
“And they’re not exactly in a talking mood,” Smoulder added.
“Then we get help from elsewhere!” Silverstream declared. “Equestria and the ponies have helped out all of our homes at one time or another. I think it’s time we repaid the favour! Those villains may be tough. But not even they could defeat everyone. When the ponies see all their allies coming to help them, it will help them realise their own unity. I say we get as many allies as we can and head for Canterlot!”
“Trixie agrees!” the resident magician trumpeted. All eyes now turned to me.
“Well,” I said, now sounding a little more like myself as my previously lost colour returned as I found a new source of hope.. “It’s better than my idea of letting the Windigoes take down the three villains and then trying to save the world.”
And so, the non-pony students, along with Sandbar divided themselves up. They would all return to their homes and endeavour to raise some sort of counter strike force. An army of dragons, changelings, yaks, hippogriffs and griffons, to say nothing of the other species that called Equestria home, would more than likely tip the balance of power in our favour. There was however, one small problem.
While we had been sitting here nattering away, Starlight had been busy fighting Chrysalis. And it was not going well for the unicorn. She’d nearly had her foe a couple of times, but they were very evenly matched, possibly even tipping the scales in Chrysalis’ favour. Above us, very close at hoof, we heard and felt a powerful magic blast. Something was blasting its way into the caves. If our plan was going to work, we needed to move now.
“Right, the six of you. Head down along this passage and turn left. That will lead you to a door that will take you out to the edge of the Everfree. From there head for your homes and don’t look back. Don’t stop for anything. Trixie, you take the rest of the students the other way and try to get them to Ponyville.”
“What about you?” Trixie asked, half suspecting the answer. The magical blasts were getting closer. Whatever it was was now in the caves with us.
“I’ll use my magic to cave in the tunnel behind us. We’ll still be able to get out the same way as these six, but it should stop whoever is out there from getting to us, at least for a while. The energy in the crystals here inhibits teleportation and other complex spells, so they won’t be able to follow. Get the kids away first in case the cave-in goes further than I plan it to.” Trixie nodded in understanding.
We quickly began to get the students moving again. Gallus and the others who’d previously helped stop Cozy took a left for the exit out into the canyon. They would scatter as soon as they were away and do their best to call in the cavalry. This bell might have made our old foes more dangerous, but even they couldn’t take on everyone. An army of ponies, griffons, dragons, changelings, yaks, and hippogriffs, to say nothing of the other species that called Equestria home, would be more than equal to the task of stopping these lunatics.
I lingered a moment, picking out the best place to bring the ceiling down. It would be simple enough. My magic could destabilise the structure and bring the whole ceiling down, blocking up the tunnel with tonnes of rock. I almost waited too long.
All of a sudden, just as everypony else moved out of sight, there was an almighty bang as the opposite wall was blasted away. I ducked and shielded my eyes to avoid debris. And when I opened them again, I got my first glimpse at an old foe, for there stood Chrysalis.
The bell and its magic had done quite a number on her, evidently having to change her body to accommodate the magic. Just as Tirek grew when he gained more magic, and why Celestia, Luna and Cadence were taller than the average pony, Chrysalis had been altered. Her wings were a little larger than I remembered, and she seemed to have acquired some new horseshoes and regalia. The most striking thing though was her eyes. The whites were now a sickly yellowish green. Curiously though, the magic hadn’t filled in the holes in her legs as had happened when other changelings reformed. Maybe before she tried this stunt she should have remembered just who gave her entire species those holes.
Our eyes met at almost the same instant, and I was instantly overcome with fear. I’m no coward, sure, but when confronted with a creature who has the better part of two feet in height on you, and has powers than was on par with alicorns, common sense tells you to at least be careful. Don’t get me wrong, a part of me wanted to fight her. Hell, a part of me wanted to lunge straight at her and tear the filthy whore’s throat out with my teeth. As much as I don’t like to admit it, there is, and probably always will be, that dark facet of my personality that holds a grudge. But saner heads pointed out that I wouldn’t last long against her even if she was at her normal strength. To try anything now would be a fine way to get myself killed.
A sick smile fell over the changeling’s mouth when she saw me. That was more than enough to spur me to action. Tilting my horn skyward, I blasted away with desperate abandon at the rock above. A cave-in soon started, albeit hardly the safe, planned one I wanted. It ended up bringing down the roof throughout pretty much the entire chamber, protecting me from Chrysalis as it created a nigh impenetrable barrier between us. And on the other side, Chrysalis turned her attention back to Starlight.
With some protection in place, I hurried to catch up with Trixie and the others. The good news was that the six students had gotten away without trouble. The winged members of their team had carried the ground dwelling Sandbar and Yona out of the gorge. The rest of us would now head for Ponyville. Still, things looked bleak, and soon became far worse.
The Windigoes were getting stronger and now covered most of Equestria in a grey cloud. The snow wasn’t thick yet, or sticking, but if something wasn’t done soon it would.
As our little column came into Ponyville, we saw a scene that was being played out across Equestria, while Canterlot Castle, heavily damaged, smouldered. Ponies were holed up, isolating themselves from the other tribes. Despite all that was going on, they couldn’t bring themselves to trust one another, simply acting to protect themselves. It was very human in a way.
We all arrived in Ponyville just after Applejack and the others left to look for Twilight. The earth ponies were holed up around Town Hall and in a state of panic. Canterlot and Cloudsdale had also sealed themselves off, an act which only further strengthened the Windigoes.
I might not be able to fight villains and monsters, but I wasn’t about to stand idly by while my home crumbled around me. The six students were off gathering allies from beyond our borders. It was time to recruit some home grown talent. Leaving Trixie to look after the kids, I sought out Mayor Mare.
“Mayor!” I called out, catching her attention. She was standing on the steps of Town Hall talking with my dad. Mum was not too far off. “Thank Celestia you’re here. I need your help. I need all your help. We have a plan to stop what’s happening!”
“Not now, Bones!” she exclaimed crossly. “I’ve got enough problems here as it is. With no weather pegasi, there’s nopony to control these storms, we’re at risk of being snowed under. We need to get everypony into shelters.”
“Mayor, listen!” I persisted. “Those storms are being caused by the Windigoes. They’re feeding on the disharmony of ponies. We need to stop them to help Princess Twilight and the others. You know all these rumours are nonsense. The reason we’re losing now is because we’re divided. If we all act together, we can still win. Some of the students have gone to other cities, and even beyond Equestria for help. But we need the earth ponies too. Unless we all act together, we have no hope.”
“See, Mayor,” Dad chimed in. “It’s just as I’ve been telling you. Someone has been deliberately undermining ponies for months now, specifically for this moment. We need to get ponies together to fight this.”
Luckily, Mayor Mare showed why I’d voted for her every election since I got here. Back on Earth, in contrast, every general election I’d stayed home, thoroughly disillusioned with the democratic process.
“What are you proposing?” she asked as ponies started to gather around.
“That we all join forces,” I explained. “Set aside our differences, and unite to defeat perhaps the greatest evil we’ve ever faced. Working together, the three tribes founded Equestria. Alone, we will only be agents of its destruction. I ask you, all of you, to help to defend your home.”
And wouldn’t you know it, little by little, ponies began to come around. Big Mac was the first to step forward.
“Bones ain’t never steered us wrong,” he declared in a booming voice. “And I’m willin’ to do anythin’ to save my friends and family!”
“Big Mac’s right!” Dr Whooves agreed. “A house divided against itself cannot stand!”
“It sure as anything beats cowering in hiding like this!” Cheerilee agreed.
Voice after voice joined them. We had the earth ponies on our side. I looked up at the sky. The Windigoes didn’t look quite as intimidating now.
About an hour or so later, we had our army. The students had returned with hundreds of their kin, along with pegasi, unicorns, even buffalo and kirin, never mind my human parents who also volunteered to help. Literally everycreature in Equestria was coming to help. The disharmony was fading fast. Old friendships rekindled as did the fire of friendship. Ponyville was filled with dragons, changelings, yaks, griffons, hippogriffs, to say nothing of the ponies. Even old friends like Tempest Shadow had come to the party as had Shining and Cadence, who brought us news of Twilight and the others. I don’t care what magical malarkey you have to hoof, nothing would stop this. All that remained was to march the troops out. As Prince of the Crystal Empire, and the only pony on scene with any real military experience, Shining took charge. Activating his magic, he picked up a megaphone, and he and Cadence walked up to the balcony of Town Hall. As the creatures below prepared themselves, Shining began and flipped on the megaphone. It squealed a little with feedback before he got it working right.
“Good morning,” he began, catching everycreature’s attention. Hundreds of eyes were now on him and Cadence, myself included.
“In less than an hour, forces from here will join others from all around the world. And you will be launching the largest battle in the history of Equestria.” he paused for a moment and smiled. “Equestria, that name should have a renewed meaning today. We can’t be consumed by petty differences any more. Our three tribes will be united in friendship.”
As he continued, I felt my courage building as I looked out at the dazzling array of creatures who had been helped by friendship over the years. A testament to the most powerful magic.
“Perhaps it is fate that today was to be the day of Princess Twilight’s coronation. The same day so long ago when the Two Sisters first raised the sun and the moon over a unified homeland. And we will once again be fighting for that same cause, not for land, or honour, or glory, but for friendship. To bring the light, and to banish the darkness and the cold. We are fighting for everything that Equestria stands for. Honesty, loyalty, generosity, kindness, laughter, and magic.”
His voice grew louder and more confident as he drew his little speech to a point.
“And should we win the day. Today will not be just an Equestrian holiday. But the day that the entire world declared to evil, in one voice...
“We will not bow down to you!”
“We will not be driven apart!”
“We’re going to fight you. We’re going to defeat you, at every turn.”
“For friendship is magic!”
The crowd cheered, unicorns fired their magic into the air, and pegasi flew little loops in excitement. Okay, it may have borrowed from and slightly tweaked a speech from an old but gold action movie, but it worked nonetheless. Our vast column set out for Canterlot. Unbeknownst to us though, Twilight and the others had already made their move.
And to think I was worried about making a best man's speech.
I think we all know what happened next. Twilight and the others were backed into a corner when the villains, in a cowardly move, took Spike hostage, and threatened to tear his wings off. But just before the worst could come to pass, we all stepped in. Every unicorn channelled their magic together, creating a barrier that not even their ancient magic could penetrate.
From there, the battle was brief as Twilight regained her confidence, friendship returned for good and all, and the magic of friendship came into play.
I can’t quite describe what it was like. I’d seen Twilight and the others use it, but I had no idea what it would feel like. The positive magic, full of hope, love, closeness, and virtue flowed through me and everyone else like a wave of warm water. United together, we channelled it all into the Elements, and from there, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy, once again took a rainbow to the face. It stripped them of their magic, returning Cozy to being just a pegasus, and leaving Tirek an emaciated frail old man. Only Chrysalis remained defiant.
We did actually have one scare. While the magic was sent back into the bell, it briefly fell into Pinkie’s hooves, and she almost went mad. Well, madder than usual. She actually stopped Chrysalis’ threats mid sentence by summoning and dropping a huge cupcake on them all with her briefly acquired chaos magic. Luckily, Discord stepped in and took his own magic back and returned Celestia’s and Luna’s magic. That just left us with three helpless and hapless villains.
I expected Tartarus. I was kind of hoping for reformation somehow. Whatever else I might say about Chrysalis in particular, I do respect her. If she could reform, I would take no issue with her goal of leading her people again. Cozy, with a sufficient amount of electroshock therapy could probably be brought around. And even Tirek might be fixable, if we could locate his brother and help them reconcile.
Celestia however, as it turned out, had run out of patience. Tirek had been a threat for over a millennia and despite having had four defeats by now still hadn’t learned. Cozy wasn’t as bad, but had never for a moment shown any remorse for her actions, and had even been helped by others in the past to no avail. And Chrysalis...she had been a thorn in our collective side for so long. She too had tried and failed time and again without learning her lesson. Heck, I later discovered that she even found the magic of friendship up on Mount Everhoof and coldly cast it aside, despite the fact that, without it, they would never have gotten the bell in the first place. As a result, the alicorn took a more emphatic approach, and finally, if you ask me, got revenge on Chrysalis for knocking her down back at the wedding.
Celestia, Luna and Discord used their combined magic to replicate the effects of the Elements, and turned all three villains to stone. Tirek was frozen begging, Cozy was cowering. Only Chrysalis remained defiant to the end, screaming promises of revenge with her final breath as her form was frozen as the stone encased her.
And so, that was that. Evil was vanquished, the Windigoes were driven away as the three tribes reunified. All that remained was for everycreature to take their leave. Well, that and mend the damage to the castle. That opening battle had pretty much destroyed the throne room and a couple of the towers too. Twilight decreed that her coronation would be held off until repairs were completed.
It was only then, after what felt like forever, that I finally managed to meet up with AJ again, as well as my own family. We all returned to Ponyville for a huge party to celebrate our victory and the renewal of our bonds.
In the end, there were so many ponies, griffons, yaks, changelings, dragons, and any other creature you can think of, that not even Pinkie Pie could find a single place to hold the party. But with the help of Cheese Sandwich, perhaps the only pony quite as mad as her, they got a party going right across Ponyville, and even on Sweet Apple Acres; a street party, but taken up to eleven. Sugarcube Corner churned out food, as did all the other cafes in town, Sweet Apple Acres helped out with apples, juice, cider, and anything else we had on hoof in surplus. There was even music being played through gramophones and phonographs ponies hauled outside. Bunting and streamers decked the skyline, hanging from almost every building.
“God, this reminds me of how Dad described VE Day,” Mum said, referring to my granddad.
It was certainly a fitting comparison. The war was over; every single baddie was now either defeated or had seen the error of their ways. Evil had genuinely been conquered and good had prevailed at last. All of us had come together, as one, and channelled the magic of friendship to save the day. I was reminded of a book I’d read in university, Fukuyama’s ‘The End of History and the Last Man’. Published at the end of the Cold War and the collapse of communism, he postulated that there was now nothing to impede the spread of Western liberal democracy across the world.
Of course, not too long later, we all heard three loud bangs and the world changed. But that was besides the point. Equestria didn’t have any insane Wahabist whack jobs with access to flight simulators. As of today, the only evidence of evil was a new statue to stick in the castle gardens. Of course, there would still be friendship problems here and there. As Luna said when we talked about her retirement, the world would be a rather dull place otherwise. But there would be no more near world ending events.
“It’s better than VE Day, Mum,” I said, clinking my cup of punch with hers. “That was just the day one evil was defeated. Today, Evil itself bit the dust. This is the lion lying down with the lamb.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Lizzie said as she joined us. “For all we know there’s another Storm King hiding out somewhere, or some other monster from a thousand years ago. I don’t think we’ll ever come across any villain as dangerous as those three were, but I don’t think we won’t ever see a villain again either.”
“Well, I can live with either of those realities,” Mum said happily. “Say, you haven’t seen your father have you, Lizzie?” The pegasus shook her head.
“Not since we got back,” she replied. “I saw him talking with Discord and the princesses before.”
Ah yes, now that you come to mention it, there was that one fly in the ointment. Positive in the end or not, Discord had, intentionally, set three very dangerous villains loose on Equestria. And his overconfidence had very nearly brought ruin to us all. Add to that the fact that Dad and I were somewhat complicit, given how we both knew what he was doing and kept silent, albeit under orders from the Tree with the best of intentions, and for me at least, it rather put a dent in the party atmosphere.
“I’ll go see if I can find him,” I said, politely excusing myself as Lizzie and Mum were joined by Dewdrop and a few of their other friends.
Leaving the party, and heading outside of town, I found my Dad, still chatting away with Celestia and Luna, along with Discord. We’d all been in too much danger to really address the results of Discord’s antics, although Twilight and the others did forgive him. I mean, let’s be fair for a moment. His plan was sound to look at. He figured the villains wouldn’t team up due to how much they hated each other, and his own experience with Tirek. He didn’t consider the idea that they would lie about finding the bell, because why would they if they were all working together under him? Ironically, it was their near discovery of friendship that brought it all down. And he figured that his own magic, which outclassed all of them, would be a perfectly suitable safety net if push came to shove.
I joined them just as Dad was explaining himself to Celestia.
“And so the Tree’s avatar forbade me from interfering with the course of events. God knows I wanted to. Hell, I had half a mind to take Discord’s head off. The choice was keep quiet, knowing that ponies would suffer but ultimately triumph, or interfere and set us on an unknown course. I figured it was a case of better the devil you know.” Celestia stood, pensively chewing on her cheek.
“You could make the argument, Roger,” she said, in a stern tone. “That you deliberately deceived me, and that you are just as much responsible for all this as Discord is.”
“Fair,” he agreed with a slight nod.
“But on the other hoof,” she went on, now looking at him again. “You do make a convincing argument. As trying as today has been, I cannot remember a single moment in my life when the bonds between ponies have been so strong.”
“Indeed,” Luna agreed. “Evil has been vanquished and my sister and I can step down knowing that we are leaving Equestria in a safe pair of hooves. While I would have much preferred to have had this whole mess averted and a more peaceful coronation take place today, we are still better for it. Every trying time for us has ultimately been positive.”
“You’re right there,” I agreed as I walked up. “Say Chrysalis was caught before the wedding. Twilight and her friends would never have learned the important lesson of having faith in each other. Simply stopping Starlight before she became a threat would have prevented her eventual reformation. Even your return, Luna. If Nightmare Moon had not returned to seek vengeance, then Twilight and the others would never have had an opportunity to free you.”
“Clouds and silver linings,” Discord summed up with a smile. I looked to Dad, and then to both princesses, particularly Luna though.
“It still doesn’t make what we did any better. We both still lied by omission.”
“Bones is right,” Dad agreed. “I still violated your trust. I’d understand if you said you wanted me to step down as your advisor, Tia.” Celestia and Luna smiled.
“Both of you,” the elder alicorn said. “Were faced with a difficult decision. You did what you believed to be in the best interest of everypony, while you suffered ceaseless emotional anguish for it. I can imagine that it must have been quite the burden to carry, knowing what was on the horizon. In truth though, I would have done the same as you, and have.” We both looked up in surprise at that.
“You forget,” she went on, smiling a little now. “All the time I spent with Twilight. I didn’t just take her on as my personal student. I was always preparing her for the day she would take the throne. I never told her outright. But I watched her slowly grow up, learn, become more than she was. Eventually, I helped her ascend to become an alicorn. I always planned that this day would come. But if I told her, do you think she would be the mare she is today?”
Very true I thought. Dad agreed, and so we found ourselves, him in particular, tacitly forgiven. Discord on the other hoof...
“Does that mean I get a pass as well?” he asked hopefully. Both alicorns now turned to him.
“A part of me thinks that you ought to be joining your former apprentices in stone for the mess you caused,” Celestia said harshly. “But at the same time, you also helped set things right, and for once your intentions were not to cause chaos.” Discord relaxed a little as Celestia took a breath.
“Just don’t do anything like it again,” she eventually said with a smile and a shake of her head. “Besides, Luna and I are all but retired. Princess Twilight is the one you need to be talking to, and she forgave you.”
I’ve always thought that Celestia had something of a soft spot for Discord. I mean, she was the one to suggest releasing him and reforming him in the first place. I’m not sure if it’s romantic, although there have been odd hints from both sides on that front. In any case, the two do seem to have something of a complicated relationship. Luna now spoke up.
“Now, enough with this,” she said with a smile. “It is time we adjourn to the town and join our subjects in the celebration.”
Dad too seemed to be of the same mind as the two sisters passed out of sight and hearing range.
“Come on, Discord,” he said. “We’d best be on our way too. You too, Bones.”
We only took a few steps when Dad stopped in his tracks, paused and then turned around with a questioning air.
“Oh, there’s just one more thing,” he said in a very Columbo like way. “Come over here a minute, Discord.” He crooked his finger as he gestured for his best friend to come closer. Discord looked a little nervous.
“Er, this isn’t the part where you go postal on me on behalf of Celestia is it?” he asked, sounding slightly nervous. Dad smiled and shook his head.
“No, no,” he assured. “I just want to talk. Come on, I ain’t gonna hit you.” And so Discord did indeed walk closer.
And as soon as he did, Dad nailed him with a solid right hook that sent the draconequus sprawling. He obviously wasn’t too hurt, not that a punch could hurt Discord, since his eyes changed to show a cartoonish ‘no sale’, and a trio of tiny flutterponies circled around his head for a moment.
“I thought you said you weren’t going to hit me,” he lamented as he got back to his feet, rubbing his now tender jaw.
“I thought you said you had those three screwball nut jobs under control,” Dad countered crossly. “Honestly, Discord, you’re thousands of years old. How did you not see it coming?” Discord now grinned knowingly.
“Who says I didn’t?” he asked coyly.
Dad paused for a moment, and, after helping him back to his feet, promptly punched him on the nose again.
“You’re a dick,” he said good naturedly.
“Yeah, and you love me for it.”
Discord, you just can’t stay mad at him.
The party dragged on into the wee hours, slowly dying down as day turned into night. The various species from beyond Equestria’s borders eventually headed back to their homes. As the sun set and the moon rose, I found myself heading back to the field of battle. The statue of the three villains, after having been carefully checked, had been deemed quite safe. According to Twilight, the stone sleep spell, which is what the princesses and Discord had used, did just what it said on the tin. It turned you to stone and put you right to sleep. Our old foes wouldn’t be aware of the passage of time, or affected by it. Celestia and Luna had experienced the same effects during the attack on Canterlot. Only beings with exceptionally powerful magic, like Discord, could remain conscious and attempt to resist the spell.
Not that you would want to remain conscious in such a state. If Discord wasn’t mad when he went in, he certainly was when he came out. It would be like Locked In Syndrome, but so much worse. Although a part of me felt it would be a suitable punishment.
We couldn’t be sure either way without doing the obvious and waking them up to ask, and nopony fancied doing that. As for the statue itself, as with Discord, the plan was to take the trio back to Canterlot and stick them in a quiet section of the gardens. A part of me couldn’t help but disagree with that. After all, while they would no doubt be kept at bay for a long time, spells do fade, and Discord had eventually managed to break free of his confinement. It wasn’t unreasonable to assume that these three might achieve the same some day.
But who knows, maybe a millennia or so like this will convince them to change their ways? It honestly did sadden me the way things turned out. Discord himself had said that he planned, acting as Grogar, to go beyond the pale and try and convince the trio to turn against him and side with the ponies. It would have been interesting to see if that plan worked, and I’d have been a lot happier knowing we had a safety net. But, as the saying goes 'Life is what happens when you’ve made other plans'. As I said before, Chrysalis was the one I was saddened by most. She seemed the most redeemable of the three. And as much as I may dislike her, I could still sort of empathise with her reasoning, at least to begin with. Changelings after all, needed to feed like any species. I just never could understand why she refused to change. Starlight told me, in the aftermath of the second incursion, that there was a moment, between her and Chrysalis, where she saw the queen see, understand, and grasp the idea of sharing love, and never needing to steal love again, and making peace with the ponies. She saw how it would make the changelings better. And yet, despite that, she pridefully refused and started down the path that led here.
It was as if she genuinely could not comprehend the idea. Her mind was so twisted that she couldn’t see all the advantages. The fact that she referred to herself as evil and a villain spoke volumes. At that moment, she could have proved herself a noble and honourable queen, who only ever acted in the interests of her subjects. But in the end, she revealed herself to be nothing more than a vicious, sadistic warlord, with the courage and cunning or a pirate. Still, she’d come damn close to winning on several occasions, and I couldn’t help but admire her for that. Milton had Satan saying 'I would rather rule in Hell than serve in Heaven'. Perhaps Chrysalis felt the same.
The same could not be said for her two compatriots. I mean, let’s be honest, Chrysalis was the unifying force with those three. She came up with the plan to hide the bell, and to try and divide the pony tribes. Tirek was an idiot with daddy issues, obsessed with magic and with few plans beyond acquiring it and thus more power. Cozy was even worse; a pathetic little child with delusions of grandeur. They had far fewer redeeming qualities. Heck, Cozy had been shown the way, offered friendship, and even seen how it could help her. Even as a psychopath who treats others solely as a means to an end, she ought to have been able to see the benefits to herself. And Tirek, well, his own brother had tried to enlighten him, and he only viewed him as a traitor. All three of them were just driven by their hatred, be it of Twilight, or ponies, or even just the idea of friendship.
I remember something I said to Apple Bloom once. She and I had been talking before her bedtime and we ended up discussing Luna’s fall to Nightmare Moon. The little filly, having met the night princess, and knowing her to be a kind and loving person, couldn’t understand how she could become somepony that was evil and how she could still have that same anger when she returned a thousand years later. As is often the case when it comes to matters of morality, I found myself recalling one of the many speeches of Jean-Luc Picard.
“Apple Bloom,” I said to her. “I think, when one has been angry for a very long time, one gets used to it; it becomes comfortable, like...like old leather. And finally, it becomes so familiar, that we can’t ever remember feeling any other way.”
And so, it was the case with those three. They were so desperate to get their revenge on Twilight, or on Equestria, or even friendship in general, that they could think of nothing else. They couldn’t see past it, couldn’t stomach the idea of walking away or doing something different. In that case, I think all three of them deserve pity, if nothing else. What else can you give to an evil who genuinely cannot comprehend good?
I sat a little while longer, looking up at the unsettling faces of the three of them, and wondering what the future may hold, before eventually heading for home again. The future would very soon be upon us. Before too long, we would finally have to face up to the changing of the guard, and Equestria would enter a new age.
Now I just needed to wait and see what it held.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
So here's how Bones experienced the final battle. I'll be honest, 'The End of the End', for me, was just meh. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination. It just felt so...routine, I suppose. It would have been more interesting to see a new plot line, with ponies divided against the Twilight maybe instead of the now very tired magic stealing, princess capturing shtick. It might have even been interesting to see the Mane Six deal with just that, instead of the Legion of Doom.
But now we move into the unknown. Next week, we enter the great void of events taking place between that episode and the series finale twenty or so years later.
See you next week. And a very Merry Christmas to you all.
It took a couple of weeks, but life in Equestria returned to normal. At this point cleaning up after a big villain incident had almost become routine. In this case though, the only real work that needed doing was repairing the damage to Canterlot Castle, which included the throne room being remodelled for the third time. I have to feel sorry for the architect of the first remodelling, it’s barely finished and gets smashed to bits during the Storm King’s attack, gets repaired, and then barely a year later the whole thing gets blown to smithereens. At least the original castle didn’t take too much damage, apart from Tirek melting a couple of windows. In any case, the castle was indeed repaired and the throne room rebuilt. They even added new stained glass windows depicting this latest triumph, showing all of Equestria nailing the villainous trio with a rainbow.
But while the repairs went well, the long awaited coronation was entirely another matter. Now, in case I haven’t made clear just how monumentally important this coronation was, allow me to reiterate. This was the first coronation Equestria had seen in over 1100 years. While there had been a ceremony to officially crown Luna as the Princess of the Night for a second time upon her return, since Celestia had taken the title following her banishment, it was a return to normalcy, not a voyage into the new. Equestria was once again transitioning into a monarchy, and more to the point, a new house was taking over things. This wasn’t a direct descendant of the reigning princesses after all, or even the next in the line of succession, which would be Cadence. It represented a fundamental shift in Equestrian politics and government, albeit one that was accepted by the masses.
The ceremony was intended to be this incredible, ornate affair. Taking place in the castle, the crowds would gather in the courtyard and gardens, and from their position on the throne room balcony, Celestia and Luna would jointly crown Twilight and Princess of Equestria. The Royal Guard would be turned out on full parade, the crowds would be huge, Dad even dug up and painstaking transcribed, with the help of several members from the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra, the sheet music for Zadok the Priest; the ancient coronation anthem that had crowned kings and queens of England since the time of George II. All in all, it was set to make anything else look mediocre beside it. But, as with everything in life, there were a few hiccups.
First of all, Twilight and the others arrived late, then you had the fact that half the special effects didn’t quite work, and then, of course, there was the one moment everypony who was there remembers; the moment Princess Twilight Sparkle overbalanced on the balcony and went tumbling to the earth below, before awkwardly reappearing, flapping her wings and returning to her proper place before an equally bemused Celestia.
In short, you could describe the entire affair as one big, unmitigated disaster, and a far cry from the elaborate and dignified ceremony that hundreds had spent months painstakingly planning. And, while I would have liked to see Twilight ascend to the throne with perhaps a little more decorum, I have to admit, it was memorable. It harkened back to her first time attending the Grand Galloping Gala, and the disaster that followed that, or her brother’s wedding, her niece's birth, and pretty much every other important event in her life going right back to being accepted into Celestia’s school.
And in a way, it was reassuring too. Whatever else might happen, it was clear that Twilight would still be Twilight. She was taking Celestia’s place, but she wasn’t becoming her if you see what I mean. I think that was what unsettled me most when I first heard the news. I didn’t want to lose that adorkable little unicorn I first met on a computer screen all those years ago.
And so, amidst all the havoc, we watched with no small amount of pride as Celestia and Luna removed their crowns, fused them together with magic, and crowned Twilight as princess. The crowds cheered as the two alicorns bowed to Equestria’s new ruler. I couldn’t help but wipe away the odd tear though as we all applauded.
But with the ceremony complete, the official celebrations could begin in earnest. As we had done a few weeks earlier in Ponyville, a huge street party had been set up in the courtyards and gardens of the castle. It was getting on for a little past lunch when the ceremonies concluded and the various restaurants of Canterlot, including the now very famous Tasty Treat, were on station to feed the hungry crowds. I found myself sitting with Applejack, who’d spent most of the celebrations with her friends. One of the many dishes on the menu happened to catch my eye and made me smile.
“Rainbow Stew?” I said to myself with a little surprise.
“Ooh, I ain’t had that for a while,” Applejack said earnestly.
“What is it?” I asked, now more curious. My thoughts briefly turned to a half remembered, deeply unsettling piece of fanfiction.
“Just a vegetable stew for the most part, but with a few spoonfuls of zap apple jam stirred in to give it that rainbow effect. You normally get it with a cool drink too, like lemonade or cider.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Well, it seemed appropriate to have it, on today of all days.
“I guess I’ll have that then,” I said with a smile.
“What’s got you smilin’ all of a sudden, Bones?” AJ asked.
“Oh, just an old song from Earth,” I explained.
I was about to just let the conversation drift, when I felt something well up inside me. I’d felt it when the battle had ended and we’d all had a blast at the last party. This notion that evil was beaten, and that we would now move into bright sunlit uplands, and into a wonderful prosperous future of harmony without end. I’m not given to overt displays of emotion most of the time, I’m British, but this little humorous note, and the wonderful state of affairs we found ourselves in, prompted the magic of music to kick off in me. After all, the worldwide war was over and done, the dream of peace had come true, and here were, drinking free Bubble Up and eating Rainbow Stew.
Other ponies joined in as I reflected that with magic, we had found a way to burn water, the gasoline car was gone, aeroplanes flew without any fuel and a pony controlled sun warmed the world. The air was clear, and the sun shone through as yet more ponies joined in.
Yes, we could all now look forward to the future and think about what was in store. Ponies, and all other creatures were doing what they ought to, and there was no more disharmony. Heck, we even had a new princess who, unlike pretty much any other politician, would stick to her promises.
As the singing died down, I found that same feeling of happiness hadn’t left me. In fact, it seemed to have multiplied, and now everypony was feeling it. I’d had pretty much everypony up on their feet, even Mum and Dad, who usually don’t get too affected by musical numbers in Equestria. It had even attracted the attention of two very important ponies.
“That was a real nice song there, Bones,” Applejack said as she leaned over to hug me across the table.
“Indeed, Applejack,” a well recognised, motherly voice said. “It was certainly a fine way to sum up the wonderful new world we found ourselves in.” I spun around and quickly got to my feet.
“Princess Celestia!” I exclaimed, promptly bowing, which elicited more than a few giggles from the alicorn.
“Not quite, my little pony,” she said with a smile, tilting her head down slightly to make the absence of a crown more obvious. “I’m just Celestia now.”
Now that was going to take some getting used to. I couldn’t help but notice how strange she looked without her crown on. She was still wearing her horseshoes and regalia, but that tiara was now atop Twilight’s head.
“I think it will take more than a little time for ponies to grow accustomed to that, sister,” Luna said as she joined her.
She was right there. While I did think of Luna as a princess, I found it easier to think of her as a pony. Celestia in contrast, was so closely tied to Princess Celestia, that it was difficult to see her as anything else. It’s like...like meeting your old high school teacher a couple years after high school. I remember I ran into my old primary school headmaster and I still called him sir out of sheer habit.
“So what is next then for the two of you?” I asked curiously. “Do you plan to stay in Canterlot?” Celestia shook her head.
“My sister and I plan to live, for a while at least, at Silver Shoals. But if anything, I plan on going back to our roots and adventuring as we both did when we were fillies. While we may have done a fair bit of Pinkie Pie’s bucket list when we went on vacation, there’s still a great deal we’d both love to do in Equestria and beyond.”
“Fear not though, young Blade Star,” Luna added. “We shall still be on hoof to aid our new princess should she have need of us. And I shall continue to keep watch over the realm of dreams. If not only to protect ponies from nightmares, but to let me spend time with good friends.”
“Now that I am glad to hear, Luna,” I said, still feeling a little bold at addressing a princess so informally. “And I’m sure we’ll all be glad to know there are two alicorns out there keeping the odd monster at bay.”
Sadly, though, the two former rulers couldn’t hang around too long. Even in retirement, they had a few responsibilities to tie off, mainly involving a last few statements and political manoeuvrings with the nobility here in Canterlot. AJ went to rejoin her friends to spend a little more precious time with Twilight, and I went to hang around with my parents and Lizzie for a while.
But let’s move on from the coronation now, shall we? As happy a day as it was, it was also deeply bittersweet for all of us, and truth be told, I don’t like to let my mind linger on the memory too much. So instead, let’s go a little further into October. Just because the world nearly ended and Equestria underwent a massive political change didn’t mean life on the farm came to a grinding halt. In fact, we were now entering probably the second busiest time of the year, just behind Applebuck Season. It was time to make cider!
With October, came autumn proper. The apple trees now stood minus their fruit, and the once green leaves now turned into a million shades of red and gold. At the end of the month, the Running of the Leaves would once again strip them bare for the winter until the whole cycle began anew after Winter Wrap Up. The temperature began to drop, little by little, and sunny days became less frequent. It was the perfect time to enjoy a glass of good quality apple cider. And when the truly cold weather arrived, hard cider would do plenty to warm you up.
Just as the apples themselves are consistently regarded as some of the best in all Equestria, Sweet Apple Acres cider is second to none and every year we deal with massive demand that, even with the huge number of trees and apples available, outstrips our supply. The farm however, had slowly been expanding over the decades, and we were getting closer, little by little, to making enough for everypony. Of course, properly rationed, there was enough to give everypony a mug as it was. But given its popularity, ponies tended to buy as much as they could afford and then hoard it like water in the desert.
Hence perhaps the unusual scene I was confronted with a good three days before we started selling. In fact, we were only starting production today, building up a good backstop before opening sales. All along the road to the farm, stretching perhaps a quarter of a mile, ponies were camping out in preparation, hoping to keep their spot in the inevitable queue. At the front of said column, somewhat unsurprisingly, was the biggest fan of our cider; Equestria’s fastest flier, Rainbow Dash.
“You know, cider season doesn’t start for three days, Rainbow,” I said as I walked up to the mare, who was putting the finishing preparations on her tent, hammering one last peg into place.
“Exactly!” she exclaimed, with all the enthusiasm of someone who has mixed blue and yellow paint together for the first time and christened their new creation blellow. “This time I’m gonna get all the cider I can drink. I’m right by the gates to the farm, so nopony can get past me, and I’ve got plenty of bits.”
She produced a sizable sack of currency that, personally, I’d be a bit uneasy about taking out in public. Then again, Dash does have a fair bit of disposable income, at least if her house is anything to go by, never mind that cookie prank she pulled off that must have cost a fortune.
“Remind me to explain ‘The Tragedy of the Commons’ to you sometime,” I said, shaking my head. “And don’t you have weather work or Wonderbolt training to go to?” Dash shook her head.
“Nope,” she assured. “I always keep some leave time back for cider season, but Spitfire said this year I have to keep it under ten days.”
Now, I’m not saying Rainbow Dash has a problem when it comes to cider...
But she has a problem. I remember last year she only got a couple of mugs before we ran out. When a stray mug happened to spill onto the ground, she leapt at it, even growling aggressively at Winona, who had also come over to lick up the spill and intimidated the collie into backing off. That’s just not healthy.
Then again, if you want to list all of Rainbow psychological problems, we’d be here a while. At least she’s more or less functional and she had the forethought to request leave from her jobs before she came here.
“Just try not to hoard it so much that other ponies don’t get any, Dash,” I asked gently. “You know how disappointed you were when you didn’t get any cider.”
“Yeah, yeah, I will,” the pegasus replied noncommittally. “When are you starting anyway? I know you’ve finished harvesting all the apple trees.”
“Today,” I replied. “Well make as much as we can and then open up shop and keep on making fresh cider until we go through the apples. We should be able to get a little more done this year with the extra set of hooves.”
Ah yes, we did have some new help this year, and the farmhouse had gotten just a little bit fuller. Having been married just before the coronation, Big Mac and Sugar Belle had taken a week away from the farm in snowy Vanhoover skiing as their slightly delayed honeymoon. When the two had returned, Sugar Belle had moved in to live with her new husband. As a result, the farmhouse was beginning to feel a little cramped with Granny, AJ, myself, Apple Bloom, Mac and his new bride, plus Winona, of course. I’d been chatting with Mac on that front and we were toying with the idea of building an extension to the existing farmhouse to make some space, while still letting everypony live under the same roof.
Sugar Belle had settled into her new life pretty well. She’d helped us out before, of course, during the cattle drive in spring, and during Applebuck Season. She’d adapted to the farming life and now frequently helped Granny Smith with her culinary skills. The addition of her apple pie recipe to our market stall has made one Wonderbolt very happy. She was also set to help us out now with selling cider, taking some of the strain off Granny Smith.
Leaving Rainbow Dash to continue establishing her little base camp, I headed back towards the farmhouse, where I found Mac busy hauling the cider press out into the open air, holding one of the straps in his teeth to pull it.
“How’s she lookin’, Mac?” I called out, prompting him to let go.
“Not too bad, Bones,” he admitted. “I reckon those repairs I did are still holdin’. As long as we don’t push her as hard as we did with those Flim and Flam fellers, we should be fine.”
The cider press was a fairly simple contraption. It was essentially a treadmill which, through connection to a belt and flywheel, plus a few gears, turned a large stone press. You simply dumped the apples in, ran on the treadmill, and it pulverised the apples, with the resulting cider then being deposited through a small tap. It made for a fairly quick production, without too much labour.
Of course, it wasn’t perfect, and I know more than one pony has suggested we buy a magic operated or automatic press like that infernal contraption that Flim and Flam used. Plus, as Mac had said, it was something of a labour intensive machine, requiring frequent maintenance. Yes, the competition had out produced the Apples with only two idiots running it, but Sweet Apple Acres cider is known for quality. If we increased quantity by sacrificing quality, then we were just cutting off our nose to spite our face. Don’t get me wrong, it would be nice not to have to run on a treadmill all day long, but if it makes good quality cider, and that infernal contraption, when push came to shove, in contrast had spat out something closer to applesauce mixed with dirt, then I’ll stick with the traditional method.
Granny Smith took a more blunt approach when it came to buying such a machine or not. She told each and every one of us, if we ever bought a Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, she would burn it. And if we replaced it with another one, she would burn that too. She did however, after helping Big Mac on the treadmill that year, change her tune a little. She said that now, if we ever bought one, she’d fully understand…
And then she’d burn it.
It’s your classic argument of modernisation. Yes it might make things more convenient and easy, but our cider is what it is because of the way it's made. You need only look at some much loved favourite products on Earth that, when they had their production methods slightly altered, dropped massively in quality. And of course, when it comes to ponies from the more urban areas, as on Earth, they do buy into that whole farm fresh deal. So, long story short, we’d be keeping our cider press, our pony powered cider press, for a good long while yet.
Seeing how Mac was struggling with the heavy contraption, I stepped in to lend a hoof. There were two straps for just such a reason. Activating my magic, I took a hold of the spare one and took up the strain.
“Argh!” I exclaimed at the heavy load. “Remind me when this is all over to fit wheels on this darn thing!”
“Ah just don’t get why we have to move it out so everypony can see it,” Mac complained. “We could do the same job in the barn, out of the sun, and just move fresh cider barrels by cart.”
As we continued to haul away at the heavy contraption, the load suddenly became a little lighter, as we were joined by an extra set of hooves.
“Because ponies like to see the cider being made while they’re waiting,” Sugar Belle explained as she helpfully pushed from behind. “Well that, and you running on the treadmill gives us mares something to look at.”
She tittered at that. Poor Mac. You’d have thought now that he’s married he wouldn’t have to put up with the whole female gaze issue. Then again, he once admitted to me that it was quite the nice ego boost to know he’d managed to catch the eye of so many mares, including, I might add, both the royal sisters. Still, his wife’s teasing made him blush.
“Thanks for lendin’ a hoof, Sugar Belle,” I said as we finally got the press into position.
“No problem, Blade Star,” she said, now it was my turn to chuckle.
“Sugar Belle, please, you’re part of the Apple family. The least ya can do is call me Bones like everypony else.” Sugar Belle smiled at that, turning her attention to the cider press.
“So this is what you use to make the cider then?” she asked.
“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied sagely. “I’ll keep the press turnin’ and Bones loads the apples into the press.”
“Doesn’t that just make apple sauce?” she asked.
Walking over to the other side of the press, where the fresh cider came out through a tap, I opened up the side and showed that it was a little more complex than that.
“Once it’s been turned into a puree,” I explained. “It all gets strained through these filters to get the cider. A bushel gets you about three gallons. It can either then be drunk as regular cider, or we can add a yeast mixture and use it to make hard cider.”
“Impressive,” Sugar Belle commented.
“Well, the way ponies line up every year, I reckon we must be doin’ somethin’ right,” agreed Big Mac
“So what do you do with all this then, Bones?” she asked me, gesturing to the press.
“Well,” I said, taking a moment to push my stetson back on my head as I leaned against the large machine. “Mac and I usually share the work. He’ll take a turn on the treadmill while I load up the apples, and then we swap to make sure neither of us gets too tired. Remember, if ya don’t keep the speed up with this thing, the puree will be too thick. Sometimes I help Applejack and Bloom with sellin’ the cider too. Celestia knows we sometimes need good crowd control. Ponies go ape for this stuff.”
“You don’t think I could lend a hoof, do you?” Sugar Belle asked, smiling at her husband. “I know I’m still learning the ropes, but I know you need all the ponies you can get this time of year. How about I help you out with the press. I may not be as strong as Mac, but I can still pull my weight.” Mac certainly seemed into the idea.
“With Sugar Belle helpin’ out, you could help Applejack instead, Bones,” he suggested. “With me and Sugar Belle on the treadmill, you could shuttle the cider barrels to the stall.” Now there was an idea.
So we all agreed. I certainly wouldn’t mind not having to run on that press this year. I think I did all my running for the year when that brushfire broke out back in June. Plus, it would give me a bit more time with Applejack, and it let Big Mac and Sugar Belle spend their day together.
We all spent that evening after dinner preparing for the start of work tomorrow. Since we wouldn’t be selling the cider just yet, we’d also have Applejack, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom on hoof to help as well. Mac and Sugar Belle would man the treadmill, AJ and I would load the apples into the press, and Apple Bloom and Granny would serve as quality control, checking the apples before they went into the press. They had been given the once over beforehoof of course, but just to be safe, we always gave each bushel a thorough once over before tipping it into the press.
And so, over the next couple of days, we slowly built up our supply of cider. The barn, just as it was previously stocked to the gills with bushels of apples harvested in the last couple months, now slowly filled with barrel upon barrel of cider. This year, we were looking to produce more than ever, to try and hopefully come close to satisfying demand. The hardier trees born in the vampire fruit bat reservation had given more than their fair share of crops, and with the added help of Apple Bloom’s forays into potion making, we had far more apples available. But it was Sugar Belle’s simple suggestion that helped ensure everypony got a share.
“Ya know some ponies are gonna riot when we tell ‘em,” Applejack said as she and Sugar Belle watched Mac gallop along on the treadmill. “Limitin’ how much one pony can buy don’t exactly feel right.”
“But it’s so unfair how some ponies get here early, buy as much as they can afford, and then leave those who arrive a little later with nothing, after they’ve queued for hours. Plus it would stop that whole thing with ponies camping outside the farm a week ahead of us opening.”
“She’s right, Applejack,” I agreed. “Look at Rainbow. She’s taken over a week off of work just for some cider. I know this stuff is like liquid gold, but we need to change something. If we don’t then the ponies who never get any cider are gonna stop comin’ next year, and from there it could snowball. The cider may be good, but that doesn’t mean anything if you can’t get any.”
“Well,” AJ said, her ears splaying back a little. “I guess as long as it ain’t too harsh, say four or five mugs each, ponies should be alright with it.”
And so, the following day, Cider Season as it was known, officially opened. As dawn broke, ponies were lining up on the road to the farm, even before we had the stall set up. Dash managed to keep her rightfully won spot at the head of the queue, taking down her tent as the sun rose. It kind of reminded me of the butcher’s shop in the run up to Christmas. If you had any sense, like my mum, you’d reserve a bird with them back in mid-November, be given a chit, and then pick it up a few days before the big day. Other people though didn’t seem to have the same ability to think ahead, and would queue round the corner as far back as the top end of Ash Tree Road hoping to get something before they sold out.
Everypony though quickly took notice of the change in our usual routines. Big Mac and I had set up the stall, affixing to the front a large sign that read ‘five servings maximum per pony’. Dash didn’t take this too well as Applejack opened sales.
“Oh come on!” she exclaimed, hovering a foot or two off the ground. “I camp out here all night to get to the front and the most I can get is five?!”
“It’s a fair share, RD,” Applejack said staunchly. “Everypony should be able to get at least one mug considerin’ how long they queue for it.”
“But I need more!” the pegasus whined pitifully. “I can down five mugs of that stuff in ten seconds flat.”
“Maybe if you tried savouring it a little instead of necking it like cheap whiskey, you could appreciate it more,” I suggested as I pulled on the tap and filled up a mug.
She does too. Watching Rainbow with cider is like seeing anypony else down Yeager bombs, with similar effects. Our cider was a sipping drink. The apples were of the highest quality, specially picked to give the right balance between sweet and tart. Chugging it down robbed you of enjoying all that.
“But it’s so good!” Rainbow persisted.
“So enjoy it,” I said with a smile as I finished pouring. “Here, try this. But don’t chug it, just take a sip.”
Rainbow quickly grabbed the German style tankard out of my magic, and promptly started downing it as if it were a keg, and everypony around her was chanting ‘chug’. I quickly snatched it off her again, by which time she’d managed to get through most of it.
“You have no self control, do you?” I said rhetorically, tapping her on the head with the mug. Rainbow just chuckled awkwardly. “Now, try again, and actually enjoy it.”
This time, Rainbow did manage to restrain herself. Taking a still fairly generous sip, she paused and actually tasted what she was drinking. Unsurprisingly, she found the experience far superior to just necking it like cheap whiskey.
“See, Rainbow,” Applejack said. “If you actually stop to enjoy the experience, it lasts a whole lot longer. And you’ve still got four more mugs left.”
Now placated, Dash quickly bought her remaining four mugs and went to sit down at one of the many bench tables we’d set up. Other ponies soon joined her. Some, like her, bought their maximum allowance all at once, others opted to only get one or a couple at a time. As a result, the queue, while still large, moved fairly quickly and our supply of cider didn’t deplete at quite such an alarming pace. Not that Big Mac or Sugar Belle slowed down. The pair made a pretty good team on the press, and I have to admit I much preferred working the stall with AJ, backing her up and keeping an eye on the bits.
As the day wore on, we steadily worked our way through our stock, and come the early evening, the queue had all but dispersed completely. For once, everypony had gotten their fair share. And better yet, we found, contrary to what we thought, that our supply of apples was actually sufficient to have a bit of a reserve. Granny suggested talking with the old scoundrel Filthy Rich. Considering how ponies were willing to pay through the nose for this stuff, it would probably make him a nice little profit to sell it in his stores as a speciality, seasonal item. It would certainly help us make a little more money and give ponies another chance to get their hooves on some cider.
And that’s how we inadvertently introduced Black Friday to Equestria.
Luckily, after causing something of a riot at Barnyard Bargains, things soon calmed down. As soon as the cider was gone, the motivation went and ponies returned to their senses. Well, it wasn’t quite gone. Yes, we’d sold all of our stock, (over 48,000 mugs worth of cider). but the Apples do keep back a few barrels for themselves. The main reason for this is to make hard cider.
Now, I must be honest, as an Englishman, this is the only form of cider I know; the sweet, tangy gateway to alcoholism that you buy in what seems so much like a 2 litre bottle of cola. Back home, even before they turned eighteen, teens would be downing the stuff on a Friday night. Personally, I never much cared for it. But then again, I’m more of a social drinker, who’ll happily nurse a pint of stout for half an hour rather than a ‘drink until you vomit and urinate all over yourself, fight everyone, and then move your bowels when the ambulance comes’ type of guy.
Anyway, cider as most ponies knew it wasn’t really something you had back in Britain. In fact, if I remember rightly, Hasbro had to make some minor changes to that episode when it was broadcast, removing all mentions of the word ‘cider’, due to the alcoholic connotations. This was what the Apples were making now.
You see, as in most places, you need a special license to sell alcohol. You look in any pub and you’ll see their plate up somewhere, often near the door. Outside of pubs and bars, you needed something similar to sell booze too. The problem was that it cost a fair few bits, so, even if we did get it, it wasn’t really cost effective, compared to just selling regular cider. But there were no regulations about making hard cider for yourself, provided it wasn’t too strong. Fire water is still very much illegal in Equestria, but the law recognizes that even on farms with ice houses, unfermented cider has a very limited shelf life. There is the scurrilous rumor that a few folks leave barrels of hard cider outside on cold nights, freezing out the nonalcoholic liquids and making a form of homemade apple whiskey called “applejack”. But that would be wrong. Almost impossible to detect, but wrong.
So, as a little celebration following the hectic few weeks of Applebucking and cider making, we make up a few barrels of hard cider to treat ourselves. Once the winter sets in, served warm, it makes for a very soothing drink on cold nights. Hot mulled cider on Hearth’s Warming Eve is an earth pony tradition that predates Equestria.
We started out with a few barrels of cider that we’d kept back in the barn. From this, we took a little bit of fresh cider, and added yeast to it, to kick start its growth. That would take a day or so. That gave us time to get everything set up in the kitchens the following day. Granny was the expert, and we all deferred to her when it came to making good quality hard cider. We’d be making a few batches, simply because we didn’t have the kit to do much more, and because we were already pushing our luck when it came to making cider for our own use. We all gathered to watch her work over the stove. First, she emptied the cider into one of the largest pots we had, which had previously been used for making zap apple jam. Apparently, the fine residue gave the cider that little extra kick.
“It’s mighty important not to boil the cider,” she was saying as she heated the pot up to just below. “You want to make sure you get rid of any wild yeasts in the cider, or anythin’ else that might contaminate it. Otherwise who knows what it’ll taste like?”
She then proceeded to add a fair amount of brown sugar into the mix.
“Sugar?” I asked curiously. “Ain’t apple cider sweet enough already?” Granny smiled wryly.
“Ya said ya wanted a hard cider, didn’t ya, Bones?” she replied. “A good helpin’ of sugar and honey makes the cider that little bit harder. Now, we can leave that to simmer away. It’s high time we got started on the fermentation bucket.”
Said bucket was actually in the barn half of the house. So you had to go outside, through the kitchen door and round the farmhouse to the barn doors. And it was a fair bit larger than what you might think of as a bucket. It was a large, pottery drum, standing on four legs, and slightly taller than Big Mac was, giving it quite a narrow appearance, with a tap at the bottom for drawing the hard cider out.
At the moment, a step ladder was perched against one side, and Applejack was leaning over the edge, cleaning the inside of the vat. Not too long ago, the whole thing had been filled with a mixture of water and bleach to get rid of any contaminants. Now, for obvious reasons, it was being washed out.
“How’s it looking, Applejack?” Granny asked as the two of us walked in, having left Apple Bloom to watch the bubbling cider.
There was a groan that echoed off the vat as AJ pulled herself up and over the lip again. Taking a moment, to wipe the sweat off her brow, she climbed down the step ladder she’d been perched on.
“Clean as a whistle, Granny,” she reported. “Big Mac and I have washed it out four times to make sure there’s no trace of the bleach.”
“Doesn’t exactly help with the flavour,” Granny joked, making me chuckle.
“Where is Mac anyway?” I asked.
“He’s gone to fetch the yeast starter,” AJ explained. This concoction of yeast and cider had been bubbling away for a couple days now, and was ready to be mixed.
“Well in that case, you’d best go fetch the first batch of cider, Bones,” Granny told me.
Heading back to the kitchen, I arrived just as the timer dinged at the forty five minute mark, with Apple Bloom dutifully stirring away. Taking the pot off the head, I put the lid on for safety.
Returning to the barn, I used my magic to levitate the pot up to the top of the bucket and poured it out. Two more steaming pots soon followed, filling the vat almost to the top. We had to leave some room to stop it bubbling over as the yeast reacted and gave off carbon dioxide. The steaming mixture cooled as we all looked on. Big Mac arrived not long after with a modest saucepan that held the reacting yeast, our starter as Granny called it. Once the cider had cooled down a little; too hot after all would kill the yeast, we mixed it all together, before finally fastening the lid and sealing it up, except for airlock.
Now all we had to do was wait and watch out that the cider didn’t turn into vinegar.
We repeated the process several times over the next few days, filling up several fermentation buckets and vats with the mixture. By the end of the week the barn, which was previously stocked to the gills with apples from the harvest, was full of barrels of cider, slowly fermenting into hard cider. We actually had to be quite careful going in there, since the carbon dioxide given off by all the brewing could, given enough exposure, render a pony unconscious.
But in terms of actual work, there wasn’t much to do once it was all sealed away. There was no way to speed it up or hurry it along, it was just a simple matter of waiting it out and making sure that no air gets in (that will turn it into vinegar). Of course, we still had our own store of regular cider on hoof. Amongst other things, I’ve found that it gives my morning coffee quite the pleasant kick, and softens the impact of getting the caffeine full force when I have it black.
Beyond cider though, there was plenty going on in October to occupy my attention. It certainly wasn’t quiet outside of the farm. As the first month of Princess Twilight’s reign, the papers were regularly filled with stories about the transition. New ministers were being appointed here and there, although on the advice of Celestia, Twilight retained my Dad’s services, though he was getting close to retirement age now. Interestingly, the Royal Guard underwent a change too, with the long standing separation between the Royal Guard and the Lunar Guard coming to an end. With the departure of Princess Luna, who did, as Celestia had, retained a few trusted guards for security, the notion of a Lunar Guard seemed rather unnecessary, and there had for some time been calls for the two sections to be unified. Thus, in the paper that day, I read the account of the laying up of the Lunar Guard’s colours, as the regiment was officially disbanded and merged into the Royal Guard. Photos showed the thertral guards marching off the parade square, and into history.
The officers and men would, of course, be retained. While the regiment was disbanded, they were not being demobbed. They would just be integrated into the Royal Guard, which itself was born out of Celestia’s original Day Guard, following the Lunar Rebellion. The idea was to create a new Royal Guard, in order to reflect the unifying force of the new monarch. There were even calls now for the guard to accept applications from non-ponies, in light of the extra-Equestrian help rendered by our allies.
My attention however, was soon diverted from the riveting world of Equestrian politics when I heard a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it!” I called out, before shaking my head at my own foolishness. Big Mac and Sugar Belle were in town, AJ had a class, AB was at school, and Granny was minding the stall at the market, leaving just me to hold down the fort.
Throwing down the paper I’d been reading, I hauled myself off the sofa and trotted through into the kitchen. It was a fairly rare thing for us to have visitors. It was too late in the afternoon for it to be Derpy making her rounds. I wondered who it could be.
Well, there was only one way to find out. Opening the door, I was pleasantly surprised to find my little sister, Lizzie, on the other side. I hadn’t seen her since Twilight’s coronation, and then we’d only talked briefly. As much as she might try my patience at times, it was always good to see her.
“Lizzie!” I exclaimed as the pegasus pulled me into a hug with her wings. “What brings you here?”
“What?” she said as she released me. “I can’t say hi to my big brother?” I chuckled at that.
“Come on in,” I said, stepping back a little. The two of us were soon sitting down in the living room again. I was quick to catch up on what was going on in her little slice of Equestria. She had some pretty interesting news.
“The cottage has felt really small since Discord moved in,” she was saying.
“What? Full time?” Lizzie nodded.
“Yeah, it’s kinda funny really. The two of them are acting like a couple, but neither of them will admit to anything.”
“Kinda like how I was with Applejack,” I added.
“It’s almost painful to watch,” she went on. “Fluttershy’s too...well, shy to force the issue, and Discord won’t make a move either. Angel thinks it’s because he doesn’t want anypony to know that he’s in love. Honestly, he’s like a seven year old at times. Somepony really needs to tell him fillies don’t have cooties.
“But with him living there, and my and Fluttershy taking up both bedrooms, it’s getting pretty tight for space in there. I was talking with Dewdrop though, and he suggested I could move in with him.”
That got my attention. Dewdrop was Lizzie’s coltfriend. The two, like AJ and I, had been going steady for a while. They got on well, and having met him myself on several occasions, he seems like a decent guy and a good fit for my little sister. Frankly, I was surprised they hadn’t done this sooner.
“Well that’s good,” I said brightly. “You talk to Fluttershy about it?” Lizzie nodded.
“She’s pretty much all for it,” she said. “Not that she’s kicking me out or anything. But between the two of us, Angel, a horde of miscellaneous animals,and now Discord, the place is just getting too full.”
“Yeah, it’s been feeling a bit that way here too,” I agreed. “With Sugar Belle staying here now, that’s six ponies in one house.”
“Maybe Mac and Sugar Belle could move out,” Lizzie offered. I shook my head at that.
“No way,” I said quickly. “I don’t think Mac could ever bring himself to leave this place.”
“I’m not talking about leaving the farm,” Lizzie reiterated. “I just meant that he and Sugar Belle could maybe live somewhere in town. Mac could still come to the farm to help out. But it would free up some space. And Celestia knows it must be awkward for those two, having Granny Smith on one side and Applejack on the other. There’s things no family member wants to hear in their house at night.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” I agreed, having experienced the awkwardness myself first hoof.
The two of us chatted together a little while longer after that. I even, after making Lizzie Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony, let her have a mug of our reserve of cider. Her visit also gave me a fair bit to think about. It was certainly nice to hear that things were going well for her and Dewdrop, and Fluttershy and Discord, but her suggestion of our own love birds possibly flying the coop was what really got me thinking. She’d suggested that Big Mac and Sugar Belle could set up somewhere on their own.
Why not myself and Applejack?
A few weeks later, and the fermentation process was now almost complete. Granny said she would look in on the large vat in a few days time to check that bubbles were forming as the mixture gave off carbon dioxide. As for actually drinking the stuff, we were looking at a good two to three weeks. Granny would then bottle it up for us to drink. Well, I say we, but the cider being alcoholic, and us not being Prench, Apple Bloom wasn’t allowed any, not for a few years at any rate. Trust me, after seeing what one sip of coffee did to that filly, I do not want to see what a sip of strong liquor will do.
Besides, there were other things to take up our attention. While life on the farm was now starting the gradual process of winding down as we crept towards winter, there was one big event still left on the calendar, and that was Nightmare Night. While Luna had stepped down from her position, the holiday was based around her dark alter ego, and continued despite her decision to quit the throne. More to the point, since she now no longer had to tend to her royal duties, the former princess now had a great deal of free time on her hooves to spend with her former subjects. It is a well known fact that, ever since the first time she celebrated the holiday shortly after her return, she has always taken some time off every year to enjoy it. Each year, without fail, she would drop by as many towns as she could, playing the part of the terrifying Nightmare Moon. The foals loved it. In a way, I suppose it was quite therapeutic for her too; being able to turn the most disturbing part of her psyche into a more positive aspect of herself and bringing joy, instead of spreading fear.
I must confess that I loved the holiday too. Halloween never really caught on in Britain, not in the same way it did in America. At best, you had a few parties and a few houses would get egged. Honestly, more often than not, it was more trouble than it was worth, and too many kids seemed to use it as an excuse to become vandals. That and, being so close to Bonfire Night, it was overshadowed by all the fireworks a scant six days later.
Here in Equestria though, it is very much the American interpretation, minus the trick or treating. Rather than a candy based protection racket, Nightmare Night is all about ponies desperately disguising themselves to hide from a terrifying physical goddess, and frantically going house to house to beg for candy to placate her so she doesn’t consume you.
Yeah, most holidays are pretty disturbing when you stop and think about it. Christmas is just a creepy old man watching all the kids in the world, constantly (not creepy at all), judging them all, then breaking into their houses in the middle of the night and leaving presents made by his midget slaves.
Disturbing implication aside though, it is a fun holiday. The only question was what I should pick for my costume this year. The fair in town over Nightmare Night was always a fun night out for Applejack and I, while Big Mac would run the hayride around the farm, and give candy to any of the foals who came knocking, and Granny Smith would keep watch over Apple Bloom and her friends as they went house to house for candy and go with them to the Nightmare Moon statue along with Zecora. This year however, there was going to be a bit of a change.
“What do you mean I’ve gotta say home?” I demanded, sitting bolt upright on the sofa, and slightly knocking my marefriend, who had been resting her head on my shoulder, off balance.
“I know it’s not what ya wanted to hear, Bones,” Applejack said placatingly. “But stayin’ up so late and lookin’ after all of them foals is just gettin’ too much for Granny Smith. So Big Macintosh is gonna take care of Apple Bloom this year. That means somepony’s gotta stay behind to hold down the fort. I’m not askin’ ya to run the hayrides or nothin’; Mooriel’s volunteered to do that for us. You’ve just gotta hand out candy to the foals is all. Now, I’m happy to stay right along with ya.”
I smiled at that. I might have been annoyed about this turn of events, but I wasn’t about to let Applejack spend the whole night in too.
“Nah,” I said, putting a hoof on her shoulder. “You go and have fun with your friends.”
“It sure is gonna be weird not havin’ Twilight around. But she’s tied up with the festival up in Canterlot.”
“You could head up there for the night instead?” I suggested. “Stay overnight and catch the train home in the morning.” Applejack shook her head.
“No,” she said. “We probably wouldn’t get to spend too much time with her, what will all the fancy frou frou ponies around. One of the downsides of bein’ a princess I suppose.”
“I don’t know. As I recall, Luna always had a fun time. Besides, it’s still early days yet. I’m sure that as soon as Twilight’s got everything runnin’ smoothly she’ll be able to come and see us.”
“I sure hope so,” Applejack agreed. “So, you sure you’re gonna be okay givin’ out candy all night?”
Were I Discord, a lightbulb would have appeared above my head at that moment.
“I’ll do more than that, AJ,” I said. “I’ll even make it.”
Okay, I might have been overestimating my abilities there. I can make sweets, to a degree. Back in my Sixth Form days when Breaking Bad was all the rage, I learned how to make the faux meth candy they used on the show. It actually made me quite a few quid back in the day, since I sneaked a bit in at lunch one day, and a few of the other kids tried it and loved it. So, like any good capitalist, I started charging for it. In the end, I had quite the successful not-drug empire going among the Year 7s, some of whom were dumb enough to grind the shards into powder and snort it.
Several students, who became my not-drug dealers, also got in trouble for having drugs on them, because the teachers refused to believe it wasn’t meth or taste test it, but that’s neither here nor there. Not long after, somebody else got a hold of the recipe and the school promptly banned the stuff wholesale, because that’s what schools do to enterprising young entrepreneurs. I made the better part of a hundred and twenty pounds before things got too hot.
Anyway, we wouldn’t encounter that problem here in Equestria. As far as I can make out, besides salt, there aren’t any restricted substances, and I rather intend to keep it that way. Still, there was no harm in making what was essentially just rock candy that you’d get at the seaside. And since, apart from Discord, who’d binge watched the whole series with my dad at his house, nopony knew what Breaking Bad was, I felt safe in the knowledge that nopony would have a go at me making the stuff again.
So, enlisting Apple Bloom, the Apple family’s budding chemist/potion maker, as my assistant, I set to work on making a few batches of the stuff. It isn’t really complicated. You just mix water, sugar and some light corn syrup in a 1:4:1.5 ratio, add some blue food colouring and flavourings, then heat it all up to around 300 degrees before leaving it to cool down, and once hardened, you smash it apart into shards. I have to admit, the batches we made turned out quite well, looking very much like Heisenberg’s famous blue sky product.
As for taste, well, that was a different kettle of fish altogether. At Apple Bloom’s suggestion, we tried a few different flavours, from the usual cotton candy, to blackcurrant, and naturally, apples. Though only God knows how deadly the stuff was to your teeth. Eat more than a bite or two, and you could actually feel your teeth dissolving. It certainly ought to placate Nightmare Moon at any rate. If not, hopefully she’d be too toothless to harm us.
Speaking of, well, after a fashion anyway, I was rather hopeful that Ponyville might have a guest again this Nightmare Night. While Luna had visited Ponyville a couple of times for the occasion, she also did the same with other towns and cities across Equestria, as part of her way of reconnecting with her subjects. It would certainly be nice to see her again, and in person was an even rarer treat. I actually hadn’t spoken to her in a while, my own dreams having been peaceful as of late.
Of course, even if she did stop by, having to hold down the fort as it were, it was unlikely that our paths would cross. It would still be a fun evening though, and I planned to while away the night star and moon gazing, and occasionally fobbing off kids with candy. On the plus side, staying in meant I didn’t need to get a costume this year. I’d actually been struggling to think of something as it was, plus costumes could get pretty pricey. So in a way, it was a good thing that I had the job this year.
Still, it would be a shame that I’d not see Luna if she stopped by. As it turned out though, I’d underestimated just how much free time Luna had on her hooves.
Nightmare Night was soon upon us. Foals all over Equestria were allowed to stay up long past their usual bedtime and wandered around in all sorts of costumes. The farmhouse and outbuildings were decked out with holiday decorations, with cobwebs hanging from the rafters, spooky fake tombstones set up on the lawn and even, at my suggestion, a jack-o'-lantern sat out on the porch, it’s unnerving smiling face shining out into the night.
The Apples too were all decked out to utterly befuddle Nightmare Moon with their costumes, and were sure to rake in a good haul of candy to placate her. I gave Apple Bloom, who had helped me cook the stuff, a bit of the candy we’d made, and wondered how long before either Mum or Dad got suspicious. The little filly, quite unaware of what the shards of blue candy were meant to represent, eagerly wolfed down a few pieces. If I strained my ears, I could probably have heard the sound of her enamel screaming.
She, along with Applejack and Big Mac, set off for Ponyville where, as ever, a little fair had been set up for foals and grown ups alike. I’d done something similar on the farm too. Given how out of the way we are, I figured a combination of top hole candy and a few games would be enough to tempt foals to come out all this way. In addition to all the spooky decorations, I’d set up a few games for the foals to play. The obvious choice was your classic apple bobbing, a game that to this day I don’t quite see the appeal of. Along with that though, with the help of Big Mac, I’d turned one of the more deserted barns into a haunted house, and thanks to Fluttershy and the vampire fruit bats, had a swarm of the flying rodents to dive bomb unsuspecting foals.
And Rainbow Dash. If I was going to do anything this Nightmare Night, it was going to be to get one over on her for that lightning strike gag she’s pulled on me every year. Not only is the prospect of 1.21 gigawatts of electricity striking the ground mere inches from you terrifying, but she also had the uncanny ability to catch you when you were most relaxed. I mean, I knew she was going to try it at some point, and every time, without fail, I’d scream like a filly and leap a foot in the air. This year though, I’d get her back.
With everypony except Granny Smith gone, and the matriarch herself fast asleep, I was left alone. And despite being a pony who’d grown well beyond childhood with a rational mind, I soon found myself feeling just a tad unsettled in the empty house. I all but jumped out of my skin when the first group of foals knocked on the door.
“Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!” the little kids chanted adorably.
I found myself confronted by Dinky, Diamond Tiara, and Twist, with Derpy chaperoning them. The latter two had fairly typical costumes. Diamond Tiara, who is a lot nicer these days, but can still be a bit spoiled at times, was a ballerina, while Twist had a sort of Willy Wonka outfit. Dinky however took the cake, being covered in a very well made leather like costume that was quite clearly a Xenomorph from the Alien films. I never thought the universe’s most perfect killing machine could look adorable, but she somehow managed to pull it off.
“Alright, you three, you got me,” I said good naturedly as I powered up my magic and floated over a candy bowl for them and scooped a decent amount of my own candy, plus some store bought stuff into their bags.
“Thanks, Mr. Star,” Dinky said sweetly.
“You’re welcome, Dinky,” I replied with a smile. “Now, there’s plenty to do around the farm tonight. Mooriel is gonna be doing a hayride in a little bit. The barn over there is a haunted house, we’ve got apple bobbing, and a coconut shy just around the corner, and if you’re feelin’ really brave, you can venture through the vampire fruit bat reservation to try and find the hidden candy treasure.”
The foals quickly scattered to go exploring and were soon joined by others as more and more kids with their parents paraded up the farm track. Before too long, the farm was buzzing with activity. It was nice at least that I got to experience some of the fun of Nightmare Night. It was just a shame AJ and the others weren’t around too.
Having said that though, there were a few familiar faces acting as chaperones for the foals. Chief among these was one of the newest transplants to Ponyville, who was looking after the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who had evidently gotten away from Big Mac at some point. While we may have had to give up Twilight, we had gained something of a replacement egghead in the form of Sunburst. His duties as Royal Crystaller in the Crystal Empire being all but complete, he had taken up Starlight’s offer of a job as vice-headstallion at the school. I’d met him a while back on a visit to the Empire, and the two of us had become friendly acquaintances. But with his move down south to Ponyville, he and I have become pretty close. Truth be told, Sunburst reminds me a lot of me. Heck, he even looks a lot like I did as a human, aside from the goatee. His experience dealing with the at times terrifying Flurry Heart were evidently standing him in good stead with the Crusaders.
“Evening, Sunburst!” I called out as the three fillies disappeared inside the haunted house.
“Oh, hey, Blade Star,” he said, a little nervously.
Despite the fact that he’s technically my boss, he’s still a bit of a shy guy. He’d dressed up for tonight as well, and was disguised as, I think, an ancient Crystal Guard knight. The armour certainly reminded me of the set Dash and Fluttershy had worn at the Crystal Fair. Frankly, it was quite unusual to see him without his normal cape.
“I see the Cutie Mark Crusaders latched onto you,” I noted. “Is Big Macintosh okay?”
“Oh, yes,” Sunburst assured me. “He and Sugar Belle were going around some of the fairground games with the Crusaders and he asked if I could watch them while they got some time together. I let him know I was taking them up here. Apple Bloom was actually really insistent, something about some new candy you’d made.”
“Oh, right,” I said with a nod. “Yeah, I taught AB how to make some simple rock candy for tonight. The kids are really loving it.”
A little ways off, we heard the Crusaders and a few other foals let out an ear piercing scream and come barrelling out of the haunted house. Each one quickly glued themselves to their parents or guardian, meaning I got all but assaulted by Apple Bloom when she plastered herself to my leg. Of course, it didn’t take long for them to calm down, and it was the fun kind of scared. Before too long they were laughing with each other and preparing to go in again for another try, leaving me and Sunburst to chat some more.
“So how’s Starlight been anyway?”
I know for a fact that those two are in something of an early stage relationship. It seems like everypony is at this point; Applejack and me, Lizzie and Dewdrop, Maud and Mudbriar, Fluttershy and Discord. Even Sandbar and Yona at school. The list of couples just goes on.
“Oh, it’s been okay,” he replied. “It was really nice of Twilight to let me have a room at the castle when I moved here.”
“Must be a pretty sweet deal having access to Twilight’s old library,” I commented. Sunburst was after all, an academic, and far beyond an amateur like me when it came to the study of magic.
“Oh it is,” Sunburst agreed. “But...even since I moved in, Starlight has been acting...kinda weird.”
Ah yes, I’d seen it, and every mare in Ponyville had seen it too. Like Big Mac, with his shy, sensitive nature, to say nothing of being somewhat adorkable, Sunburst is actually quite the eligible bachelor. And when he first got here, a couple mares had tried to put the moves on him. This failed for two reasons. Firstly, Sunburst, like all males of any species, is utterly tone deaf when it comes to mares’ ‘hints’. And second, any mare who came within a hundred yards of him when Starlight was with him, got stared at until they left and never came back. She was just a tad possessive of him, with a few shades of yandere thrown in. And with Starlight’s less than stellar record when it comes to mental stability, I must confess I was a little concerned for Sunburst’s welfare. Remember, this was a mare who sought to remove the concept of cutie marks and almost undid all of time over him moving away. But who knows, maybe Sunburst could give her some stability; it has been some time since the last incident after all.
“Yeah, that’s Starlight for you,” I agreed. I considered saying something, but figured it was best to let things play out and the chips fall where they may. “Where is she tonight anyway?”
“Over at the school looking after the party there,” he explained. “She wanted me to stick around and go around the mini fair at the school, but she and Trixie had things under control, and I didn’t want to be a third wheel between them.”
Oh my sweet summer child. I may be an asexual, at times aromantic male, who is about as likely to spot romantic interest, as I am to find Hitler’s gold. But since it wasn’t me we were talking about, I guess I had a more dispassionate view of things. I dug a little to see if my suspicions were correct.
“Was Trixie with her as well?” I asked curiously. Sunburst shook his head.
“No,” he replied. “She was keeping an eye on the party in the main hall. The two of them are really good at...” I cut him off there.
“Sunburst, that’s a date,” I said plainly, bringing our conversation a screeching halt. The stallion looked at me in bewilderment, blinking a couple of times as he processed what I’d said.
“A..a what?” he said perplexedly.
“Starlight was asking you out on a date,” I said. “Mares either can’t or won’t say what they mean. Her asking you to go to the fair with her was a date.”
“What…?” was all he could repeat, now slightly alarmed.
There was a brief moment of silence before the already nervous stallion started panicking. He was actually pretty much in the same boat as me when it came to the fairer sex; totally inexperienced. At least though he hadn’t gone through that BS in high school of girls pretending to flirt with you or ask you out as a joke, causing you to question every interaction with a woman for the rest of your days. He thought Starlight was just being friendly with him, just as I had with Applejack, and as it turned out, she’d now tried a few times to make it plain, at least by her standards, that she was interested in him. Why women and mares can’t make the first move is beyond me. Anyway, he had absolutely no idea what to do, was worried that he’d upset her by seemingly coldly rebuffing her, and fearing for his life a little. This was Starlight after all.
“Look, look, calm down, Sunburst,” I said reassuringly. “Just head on back and take her out to the fair. It’s probably not too late. I’ll keep an eye on the Crusaders while they’re here, and I’m sure Mac will swing by before long.”
“Are you really sure about this?” the academic asked, still a little unsure. Just as I would he was now trying to rationalise and was letting his mind convince him that what he thought might be signs were just all in his head. “I mean, Starlight never really seemed interested in me before.”
“Sunburst,” I said with a smile. “That mare fought Twilight Sparkle to a standstill because you ‘left’ her as a foal. I think she likes you.”
That seemed to spur him to action, and with an excitable whinny, he took off in the direction of the school. I smiled to myself, wondering if Dad felt the same way when he did the same thing for me. I still laugh when I think about the rocky start to my own relationship. Just as Sunburst had, I’d managed to miss several obvious hints from AJ, and she was a lot more forward than Starlight. For goodness sake, she’d kissed me under the mistletoe at a Hearth's Warming Eve party at Golden Oaks library and I still couldn’t quite accept it. With any luck, Sunburst, as I had, would overcome his doubts and the childhood friends could become something more.
With Sunburst’s departure though, I was left alone again. A few foals came by every now and then for more of the candy, which was selling like hotcakes, and the odd parents would chat for a while. But I couldn’t help but feel a tad lonely holding down the fort like this. Before too long, Zecora came on the scene and announced that it was time for the foals to make their offerings to Nightmare Moon. She and Mayor Mare set up a rather nice one out near the Everfree each year for the occasion. Once they’d done that, things tended to start winding down for the night. So, as the foals all scampered off, I took a moment to indulge in a spot of stargazing. There was a lovely full moon out tonight too.
I know I’ve said it before, but to this day I cannot understand why or how ponies could just ignore the night sky to the point that it caused Luna to fall to darkness. While she might have only moved the moon, rather than all the stars in the sky (although her alter ego did quite cleverly use them to break free of her confinement), the end result of her contribution was something to behold. Just as a beautiful sunrise courtesy of Celestia was dependent on clouds, temperature, and an unbroken horizon, Luna’s night was enhanced by all sorts of factors, and it would be unfair for any judgement to detract any merit because she merely moved the moon and had no or limited control over other factors.
Ponies often thought the night to be a time of danger, with scary predators lurking about in unsettling shadows, ready to lunge out from the darkness. And tonight of all nights, those fears were magnified, albeit in a fun way that brought Luna much enjoyment. But standing as I was, alone on the open grassland of the farm, it was hard to evoke such a fear. The full moon gave plenty of light, casting silvery lunar shadows all around. The night air was cool, and you could hear little but the babbling of running water on the wind. And up above, in spite of the moonlight, stars glittered against the sky. I really fail to see how such things can be spooky. Okay, throw up some thick clouds and some storm clouds, then maybe. But the night itself wasn’t scary. In fact, it was the absence of things that made it so. You see people just as unsettled by an eclipse. It’s the absence that brings the fear; darkness, not night.
It was as I was pondering this, that dark clouds did indeed begin to swirl around the sky, blocking out the light of the moon. Lightning flashed for a moment, and I caught sight of a sleek looking chariot speeding through the sky.
If you’re going to say anything about Luna, it’s that the mare knows how to make an entrance. I must ask her some time how she made that hooded cape that turned into bats.
As the chariot, pulled by two intimidating looking thestrals, sailed over the woods where the Nightmare Moon statue was, I saw a winged figure leap gracefully off and swoop down towards the waiting foals. Against the flash of lightning, I could just make out the bat wings and elongated horn. On the wind, I even picked up the sound of an ominous evil cackle. I guess there are some things that you never forget, even as a reformed villain. Nightmare Moon had come back from the void one more time to terrify the ponies.
At least, the foals seemed to think so. Not too long later, I heard the gleeful, not in danger type screaming coming from the same place. I never could quite wrap my head around the whole enjoying being scared thing myself, but I was hardly going to take that away from them. As the storm clouds cleared, courtesy of Luna’s magic, I figured she would probably head to Ponyville proper to partake in the festivities. I was tempted to sneak away for a little while, just to say hello. But I ended up resisting the temptation. Somepony had to stay to keep an eye on things here. Mooriel was still pulling the hayride with a few kids on, and there were still plenty of foals playing around. It sucked, but it was hardly the end of the world. Perhaps I could do the obvious and write Luna, get a whole pen pal thing going. She might like that given her fascination with the postal service.
I found myself gazing up at the moon again as the clouds finished clearing.
“A beautiful night, Luna, as always,” I said to the natural satellite.
“Why thank you. It’s always nice to get compliments from stallions,” a voice said close at hoof.
I probably jumped a foot in the air in surprise at that. But of course, the voice was a familiar one. Turning around, I found myself face to face with a smiling Luna.
“Luna!” I exclaimed as I found myself pulled into a hug, courtesy of her wings. “What are you doing here?” The alicorn chuckled as she released me. It was still a little odd to see her with no crown, regalia or glass horseshoes.
“What?” she asked. “ Can I not visit a friend when I happen to be in the neighbourhood?”
“Well, of course,” I replied. “But I figured you’d want to spend your time in town with the foals and everything.”
“I was planning to,” she admitted. “Until I saw you were not there. Applejack and her friends explained why you were up here. And while it is kind of you to assist them by tending to this marvellous collection of fun and games, I did not think that that ought to exclude you from friendly company. After all, it has been far too long since we saw each other last. And, as you may have heard, I do rather make my own hours now.” I smiled at that.
“And of course,” she went on. “I was also told that you have a supply of good quality hard cider on the premises.”
Very true. We’d made up a couple barrels of the stuff earlier in the week. More to the point, both Luna and Celestia were very familiar with the stuff. Just as every year, as thanks for giving the Apple family this land all those years ago, we set a few jars of zap apple jam to the castle (Celestia has a sweet tooth, but she usually tries to have a little toast with her jam), we also always made sure to send a couple barrels of hard cider as well. And according to Dad, both princesses were quite fond of the stuff. And while they were now no longer princesses, I was hardly about to deny Luna. After all, who would say “no” to having a drink with her?
And so the two of us adjourned to the barn, where all the barrels were stored. There was one barrel already open, with cider on tap, and after grabbing and carefully filling a couple of mugs, the two of us went back outside into the cool night air. I could hardly leave the foals and Mooriel unsupervised after all. Cider was perfect for cool nights like this; the alcohol warms you right up, even if it was served cold.
“So, how have things been, Luna?” I asked as I nursed my cider. “How’s life as an ex-princess treating you?”
“It is strange, I must confess,” she admitted, doing the same. “Initially, I found it most unsettling to wake up and find myself with no work to do. While I am partly glad to no longer have to attend my court, or meeting with those infernal nobles, I do notice the absence of such things. Above all, it was most disconcerting to see the moon moving seemingly on its own, without my magic to guide it. Though having watched for a few nights now, I can see that Twilight Sparkle treats my former charge well.
“But at the same time, the peace is most welcome. Not having to worry or plan and to just be able to relax makes retirement feel like an extended holiday.”
I knew the feeling myself, sort of. While I was nowhere near retirement, I’d gone through a few bouts of unemployment. It’s the same thing, minus the cash. Initially, particularly coming from a stressful job, the lack of work was somewhat welcome, until the need to keep the lights on became more pressing at least. Luna of course, having quite the sizeable stash of personal savings, had no such worries.
“Have you made any long term plans yet?” I asked. “I know you prefer to relax compared to Celestia, which, truth be told, surprised the hay out of me. But surely you aren’t planning on spending the next millennia in Silver Shoals.” Luna shook her head.
“Indeed not, my dear Blade Star,” she replied assuringly. “I can’t imagine spending more than a few years there. Celestia and I plan to stick together though, getting the time together that being rulers so often deprived us of. Both of us are rather keen to see the realm and indeed beyond.” She leaned in and whispered conspiratorially.
“And you didn’t hear it from me,” she said in a hushed tone. “But my dear sister is even planning to go about the world incognito. Keep your eye out for a young white pegasus with a light pink mane. She wishes to get an experience of life for the average pony. Just because we have stepped away from centre stage does not mean we will not still take an interest in the lives of ponies. Between you and me, it has always been one of her greatest concerns that she would fall out of touch with the common pony.”
Now there was an interesting titbit of information. Celestia wandering the kingdom, disguised. What could possibly go wrong?
“And how about you, Luna?” I enquired. “You fancy playing King Henry and walking out amongst your troops too?”
“Why do you think I’ve come here tonight, my friend?” she asked. “ Although, unlike my sister, I have plenty of such experience. While she stayed up in Canterlot, I spent every night getting to know my subjects in their dreams. It’s a nice little bit of experience I get to hold over her head.”
We both chuckled at that. Luna took another sip of cider, relishing the taste.
“Hmm,” she said, carefully regarding her now quarter full mug. “An impressive concoction, although I must confess it doesn’t hold a candle to my own moonshine.”
“Moonshine?” I asked curiously. Luna chuckled.
“If you cast your mind back to our first meeting,” Luna said. “You’ll recall that the two of us shared a bottle.”
I grinned awkwardly at that as I remembered. Contrary to the name and the negative connotations associated with it on Earth, Luna’s variant of moonshine was a far less dangerous drink. Distilled from moonlight through a process I don’t fully understand, the drink was similar to Japanese sake, being a clear liquid, with a slight white sheen, reflecting the moonlight from which it was made. Luna had indeed given me a snifter of the stuff when we first met and fell into conversation in her tower.
“Oh I remember,” I reassured her. “And I also remember the hangover the stuff gave me the next morning.”
Just like sake, it is very easy to get drunk on moonshine. It is a very light, easygoing drink, and you can go through a few glasses of the stuff with no ill effects. Then, with little warning, the alcohol hits, and hits hard.
“You never told me how you made it either,” I went on. “And as I remember, Celestia had been hoarding the stuff for dignitaries and couldn’t make more herself. So how do you make it?”
“Like so,” Luna replied with a smile.
Casting her horn alight, I watched as the air in front of us began to shimmer. Slowly, it began to coalesce, going from transparent, seemingly empty, space, to a small sphere of white light. This steadily formed into something less ethereal, as if the light itself was somehow becoming liquid. Luna then carefully levitated an empty mug and held it underneath, allowing the strange apparition to drain into it, not unlike how a bar tap would. She then offered me the mug.
Taking it from her in my own magic, I examined her creation. At a first glance, you might mistake it for water, but the occasional flicker of white liquid light showed that it was something far stronger. It didn’t have any particular odour to it either, and there was no smell of ethanol to it. But a quick sip confirmed it to indeed be moonshine, with a taste similar to white wine, albeit a little sweet.
Luna soon made herself her own mug of the stuff and we got to comparing notes on cider and moonshine, as well as just catching up as friends who hadn’t seen each other in a while. From her, I also learned why moonshine had such an intoxicating effect on ponies.
“While your own cider relies on ethanol to induce its effects,” she explained. “My moonshine is quite different. In fact it is quite non-alcoholic. Hence why my sister was quite happy to serve it to the Saddle Arabian ambassadors, despite their aversion to such things. The effects of the...” she paused to giggle to herself, the effects already taking a toll on both of us. “Of the drink, are a result of lunacy. If you recall your Ponish lessons from school, my own name, while being that of the moon, is also associated with instability of the mind; lunacy, lunatic. Many cultures see the moon as having such an effect. And to an extent it is true. Moonlight can, at times, cause ponies to behave quite oddly. Even today, my guards used to insist that they encountered more bizarre incidents when the moon was full. Moonshine is made of that same moonlight, condensed to intensify the effect. Hence how, while both being quite sober, I think you would agree, we are both being quite merry.”
That was very true, since I had quite the pleasant buzz going right now. Her explanation though was quite interesting too. Dad had always said he got stranger clients as a solicitor when there was a full moon. Even teachers at school used to say kids would get more disruptive around that time. Luna’s comment linking her own name to the notion of insanity however intrigued me. Could her constant exposure, or innate connection to the moon have somehow played a role in her fall?
That was a topic for another time. Tonight, I was having a good time with an old friend. The two of us kept working our way through a mixture of cider and moonshine, as well as some of the leftover candy. By the time Applejack returned from town, along with Big Mac, everypony else had gone to bed, and the pair of them got to discover Luna and I both out like a light.
Turns out, mixing very strong cider with lunacy inducing moonshine wasn’t the best idea. Luckily, the two earth ponies were able to rouse us and get us inside. Luna was quite able to make her own way home, having a tolerance for such things, while I found myself hauled up to bed on my marefriend’s back. The other pony races have unfair magical advantages like heightened metabolism or enhanced endurance. Cattle have twice the body mass of ponies. Unicorns and sheep are the acknowledged lightweights of Equestria.
And that was how my Nightmare Night ended, out cold, surrounded by strong booze and what, to a human, appeared to be hard drugs, with a softly snoring alicorn leaning on me.
Who says I’m no fun?
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
And so we enter uncharted territory; Equestria between Twilight's coronation and the final episode of the series. For disbelieving American readers, the Season 3 episode was indeed edited to remove all mentions of the word cider for the dialogue by the moral guardians.
Up next is the penultimate chapter as we move on to November. See you all next week.
“Come on, Applejack!” I shouted over the roar of the crowd.
“Yeah, come on, Apple Bloom,” Big Mac joined in.
It was a sunny and fairly warm day in early November, uncharacteristically so, but that was for a very good reason. Today was the day of the Sisterhooves Social. Big Mac and I, along with Granny, Sugar Belle, and Winona were in the stands, cheering the racing teams of mares and fillies on and they tore their way Hell for leather around the course.
I know I occasionally rattle on about how much little Apple Bloom looks up to me and Big Mac, but there is no closer bond in the Apple family than there is between Applejack and Apple Bloom. Having been both a surrogate mother to the filly, complete with severe over protectiveness at times, and big sister, Applejack is the one with the closest relationship to little AB. As much as Mac and I care for her and look after her, there’s some things that only a sister can help with. Conversations about colts, clothes, and the weird cliques girls form were entirely beyond our mere male understanding.
The Sisterhooves Social was a rare chance for the two siblings to really have some fun, along with all the other sister pairs in Ponyville. Plus it gave Applejack the chance to compete with her long standing rival, Rainbow Dash. The two get competitive over everything and this race was no exception. Although if you ask me, the many obstacles suited AJ a bit more, given Rainbow’s “speed above all else” philosophy.
Of course, the decidedly feminine nature of today’s events had sidelined both Mac and I. While, as Granny said, there is some wiggle room for what counts as a sister, and nopony had any problem with Mac’s...alter ego…... taking part in things, the stallion had been suitably embarrassed by his actions the previous year, and was quite happy to let his little sister take care of things. The both of us though were more than happy to cheer the pair on. It did make for a good spectator sport. I remember Mum once described it as ‘Total Wipeout, but good’.
The race was entering its final stage now. Applejack and AB had successfully gone through the hen house and between them balanced an egg to the next stage and were now on the last stretch; a dead sprint to the finish line. Applejack, gently grabbing Apple Bloom by the nape of her neck, flung her little sister into her back and dug deep, galloping hard through the thick mud of the track. With how things were set up on the farm, I was expecting Rainbow Dash to, at some point, cry foul and complain about a home field advantage.
As they came around onto the final straight, the race was neck and neck. Tied for pole position were AJ and Apple Bloom and one side, and Rainbow Dash and her adoptive sister Scootaloo on the other. And in their usual fashion, both supposedly adult mares had quite forgotten about the charges on their backs and were busy goading each other and gloating about what they’d do when they won. Still, it made for an exciting finale. The crowd was certainly enjoying it, myself included.
“Come on you two! You’re almost there!” I shouted encouragingly. “Come on, Applejack. You can’t let RD beat you now!”
Applejack put her head down, trying to become more streamlined as Apple Bloom did the same up on her back. Rainbow Dash copied her and both mares put on a burst of speed. It really looked like it was going to be a photo finish with somepony winning by a nose. The finish line drew closer and closer, each mare fighting to hold position. At the line, Granny Smith stood ready with a tripod mounted camera to catch the finish. Everypony was so excited that they didn’t see the proverbial third man come tearing up from the rear.
As the leaders neared the finish, they both began to run out of steam. While AJ and Rainbow may keep themselves in top shape, the Sisterhooves Social still offers a punishing obstacle course that leaves everypony panting for breath by the end. Having pushed themselves all the way through to one up each other, they now both began to tire at the same moment, allowing the dark horse to seemingly effortlessly gallop past them, her own charge on her back and on to victory.
Of course, this dark horse didn’t exactly fit the description, with the alabaster coat and deep purple mane and all. Yes, believe it or not, Rarity of all ponies, with Sweetie Belle on her back, was the one to claim first place at the last moment, with the Apples and RD and Scootaloo coming joint second. The crowd was suitably stunned, but cheered nonetheless.
“Where in the name of Celestia did they come from?” I exclaimed in amazement to Mac.
The previous leaders had been well ahead of the pack the entire race, to the point where I’d not really been paying attention to them.
“I bet that’s what Applejack and Apple Bloom are thinking too,” Sugar Belle commented wryly. “They got so caught up in their race with Rainbow and Scootaloo that they forgot all about the others. And if you two knuckleheads were watching, you’d have seen how Rarity and Sweetie Belle were pacing themselves all through to the final leg. Everypony else up front was so tired from outpacing each other that, while they might have been far ahead of the others, they couldn’t keep the speed up. Rarity started closing them down after the mud bath obstacles.”
It certainly surprised me. Rarity, not to disparage the mare, isn’t exactly the most athletic of ladies. Then again, I never figured her to be able to play guitar like she can, nor did I expect her to be able to kick a changeling drone six ways from Sunday. Her ability to plan and manage many complex projects at once and deal with a lot of pressure, as well as a fair amount of pain, certainly appeared to have stood her in good stead today. She and Sweetie Belle looked pleased as punch when they received their trophy, while AJ and Rainbow continued to glare daggers at each other as they stood on either side of the podium. I swear, those two are like an old married couple at times with the way they squabble with each other over the pettiest rivalries. If nothing else though, the underdog victory made a close race that much more interesting, and in Mac’s case, less embarrassing all around. I still tease him every now and again about the incident that ended with him dressing in drag and trying to pass himself off as a mare to help Apple Bloom.
On the other hoof though, it shows how much he does care for his littlest sister, given he was willing to all but humiliate himself for her. I look out for Lizzie, and I care about her, and if Dewdrop ever breaks her heart I’ll rip his wings off one feather at a time, but I’m not sure you’d ever convince me to dress up in drag for her.
But back to the winner’s circle as it were. While Rarity, being Rarity, was basking in the warm glow of victory, with a cheering Sweetie Belle alongside her, AJ and Rainbow were still bickering with each other. I wouldn’t mind, but this isn’t even the first time something like this has happened. Go all the way back to ‘Fall Weather Friends’ and they learned pretty much this exact lesson. They even ended up doing something similar with some students from school not so long ago. Every time one of them, usually Rainbow, does something and openly boasts about it, the other mare has to one up her. And while neither of the other two members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders seemed to mind; in fact they seemed to have had a whale of a time, it was getting rather tedious, and a bit embarrassing.
It would be nice if I could say the two learned, or re-learned their lesson here and realised that winning isn’t everything, particularly when it comes to a bit of friendly competition like the Sisterhooves Social. But instead, Rainbow and Applejack did what they do best and doubled down. It was as the event was winding down and Mac, Sugar Belle and I had reunited with Applejack, that Rainbow issued her challenge.
“Ha! I knew you couldn’t beat me, AJ!” she hollered, causing Applejack to freeze and spin around on the spot
“Beat you?” she exclaimed. “The deal was to see who could win the Sisterhooves Social, so you ain’t got nothin’ to boat about neither!” Rainbow was having none of that though.
“You still couldn’t get past me,” she insisted.
“And how does that prove anythin’?” Applejack asked. “Except the fact that we’re evenly matched.”
“It proves,” Rainbow went on, trotting over to save yelling. “That, yeah, you’ve got some good speed. But there’s no way you could keep up consistently with me.” Oh for the love of Celestia! When will they learn to just let it go?!
“Are you kiddin’, Dash? I could have kept runnin’ laps of that track all day long. I’m an earth pony, remember. Endurance is what we do. I guarantee that you’d be all tuckered out before I even worked up a sweat.”
“Yeah right,” the pegasus said disparagingly.
“It’s true!” Applejack insisted.
“Oh, yeah? Prove it!” Rainbow now took on a more intimidating posture, putting her head low and flaring out her wings, keeping her eyes locked on AJ’s the whole time. “Applejack. I’m callin’ you out!”
“She is out, Dash,” I pointed out. It was true too, given how both mares were squaring off against each other and everypony else had backed off to form an ad hoc arena. Rainbow straightened up at that, trying to look disinterested.
“I knew that,” she said, a little more quietly, before returning to her challenging tone. “Okay, here’s the deal. The Running of the Leaves is coming up. Whoever places higher has to admit that the other is faster and stronger than them.”
“Deal!” AJ agreed before anypony could intervene. The two mares sealed their agreement in the time honoured way.
I like to think Applejack’s pretty level headed most of the time. But where Rainbow Dash, or for that matter, the Flim Flam brothers are concerned, she seems to take complete leave of her senses. Either that or regress back to her teenage years. Sometimes I wonder if she agrees to all these stupid challenges to impress me.
Actually I wouldn’t mind that so much.
So the date for the challenge was fixed, and come the Running of the Leaves, these two would hopefully get this stupid rivalry out of their system. At least for the next six months or so, and go back to the friendly rivalry they usually had.
I normally take part in the Running of the Leaves myself. While life on the farm has done wonders for my physical, and to some degree, my magical strength, it doesn’t have the same effect on my stamina. Of course, as a quadruped, I can go a heck of a lot faster than I could ever as a human, even at a dead run. I can quite happily canter along at a fair rate of knots. However, I’m not exactly what you’d call in shape. I’m not unfit by any stretch of the imagination, but events like this give me something to train for; a target to stop myself slipping back into old, lazy habits.
Think of it like training for a marathon. That is, after all, pretty much what the Running of the Leaves is. True, it has a greater purpose than simply getting from point A to point B, but it is very much like a marathon, being a race to ensure ponies keep up a good speed. A gentle trot after all wouldn’t provide the necessary vibrations to cause all the leaves to fall from the trees.
We had a week or two before the race, giving Applejack and Rainbow plenty of time to get themselves into top form. Well, more so than they normally are. And since she was training, I figured it would be a good idea to tag along with her. Training with a partner is supposed to be better after all, with each one supporting the other.
Unfortunately, I underestimated just how seriously AJ was taking this. And I found this out when I was violently yanked from my peaceful slumber and thrown out of bed by her. Still bleary eyed and barely awake, I had to contend with the mare all but yelling at me to get a move on.
“Come on, Bones!” she ordered. “Rise and shine! It’s time to start our training!”
As I managed to recover my senses, I took a look around and spotted my alarm clock, which hadn’t yet gone off, that rested on my bedside table. It was four in the bleeding morning!
Now, I’m no stranger to getting up early. On a normal day you’ll find me getting up at around half five; pretty much the same time the sun rises. But four was a bit beyond a joke to my mind. Even going to bed at ten, I’d still only gotten six hours of sleep. Vainly, I tried to talk some sense into Applejack.
“AJ, it’s four o’clock in the morning!” I exclaimed.
“Exactly,” she fired back. “We should’ve been up and out there preparing for the race ages ago.”
For Celestia’s sake, even the Paras, heck, even 22 Reg don’t have to get up this early for training. I tried again to get through to her.
“Applejack,” I said, with a bit more patience. “Big Mac and Sugar Belle have already agreed to help cover our chores while we’re training. We’ve got a full day to run ourselves ragged. We don’t need to be gettin’ up before Celestia, or I should say Twilight, does. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m goin’ back to bed. I suggest you do the same.”
Hoping that this had knocked some sense into her, I got back to my hooves and crawled into bed, desperately trying to recapture some of the warmth. With the winter drawing ever nearer, nights were getting colder, and the farmhouse isn’t brilliant at staying warm without a fire.
But it was no use. She was apparently immune to both the cold and good sense. No sooner had I pulled the covers over me and gotten myself comfortable than they were yanked off, causing me to involuntarily shift into the foetal position to try and conserve some warmth. I soon followed my sheets as AJ grabbed me by the tail with her teeth (not a pleasant experience), and again reunited me with the wooden, and very cold, floor of my room.
“No ‘ifs’, no ‘buts’, Bones,” she said earnestly, grinning a little as I looked up at her in dismay. “You’re awake now. No sense goin’ back to sleep. Now come on. Outside in five minutes for the first six miles of the day!”
She wouldn’t know “sense” if it bit her! Wait a minute...
First?!
Six miles?!
Oh sweet Celestia, she’s gonna kill me!
Twenty minutes later, I wished she had killed me. Instead, AJ seemed inclined to stretch out my suffering, putting off my demise for as long as possible. As threatened, we started things with a nice six mile run. Now, a jog over that distance, sure, I could do that. Like I said, I’m not unfit and am in fairly decent shape. But Applejack set a much faster pace. Worse still, the six miles were not over nice, flat, level ground. Instead, she had me running up and down the hilly terrain that made up a large section of the farm’s grasslands beyond the apple orchards. Combined with the furious pace, and by the time we hit the first mile, I was feeling the burn. An early rising sheep was just starting breakfast and watching us in amazement as I tried not to die.
Also, I just want to put this out there, in all my time working to keep myself in good shape, I have never, ever felt the supposed exercise high people keep on yapping about from the endorphins. Exercise, to me, has always been a fairly painful experience, and I’ve always finished a day of hard work, or a training session, glad that it was over.
But back to our lovely run. Applejack took the lead, having evidently planned a route out beforehand. After leaving the house and crossing into the open grassland, which involved swimming the river that ran through the farm for good measure, we made our way up and down a few of the modest hills, skirting around the still sleeping cattle herd. Worse still, this far out, you had rabbits to worry about, particularly the bucks who would dig scrapes into the ground on open land like this. And this early in the morning, light was at best, limited. And while I tried to use my horn to provide a little extra illumination, the rapid pace meant that taking a tumble was almost inevitable. And with such inevitability, I stuck my hoof in a scrape and went arse over tea kettle, landing with a dull thud on my rump. I was lucky not to break my leg.
Of course, AJ showed no sympathy, only doubling back to tell me to keep up. Honestly, not even old Strong Shield, when he was teaching me how to use my magic to fight, was this tough. Still, I did get up and pushed on.
As we continued, and I faintly heard the clock in town strike five, the light did improve, making finding our way a bit easier and safer. And by the time we completed the loop, doing a full six miles, the first few hints of dawn were peeking over the horizon.
I was knackered. My legs were shaking and my breathing came in short, painful gasps as my head hung down. Applejack too had worked up a sweat, but she was nowhere near as exhausted. Damn her and her earth pony endurance. I might have magic on my side, but physically, unicorns are the weakest race when it comes to physical strength. Exhausted, I sat down on my rear and tried to catch what I could of my breath.
But my tormentor wasn’t done yet. Not be a long shot. After a brief rest and a good drink of water, she had me back out there doing interval training alongside her. We made our way through the apple orchards now, occasionally cutting into the vineyard where the Apples grew a decent stock of grapes, many of which were sold directly to winemakers in Prance. In contrast to the earlier steady run, Applejack would call out when to run flat out, and when to slow back down to a jog to ‘recover’.
I think we ended up doing around ten, twelve, maybe fifteen intervals before she finally called time and had me jog alongside her back to the farmhouse. The only saving grace was that she too was now showing signs of strain, instead of smugly keeping up a pace while barely breaking a sweat. And as we finally returned to the farmhouse, now with the morning sun well above the horizon, we both all but collapsed from exhaustion.
“AJ,” I said, as I gratefully drank my fill of water. “You’re gonna kill me!”
“Oh...don’t be such a baby, Bones,” Applejack replied though her own laboured breathing. “You know what they say; ‘no pain, no gain’. And I need to really push myself if I’m gonna beat Dash. I’ll bet that she’s been pushin’ herself just as hard to try and one up me.”
“Applejack,” I said, looking over at her as I lay splayed out of the soft ground of the farmyard. “I know you want to beat Dash in the race, Although I don’t really get why. But why do I have to suffer too?”
“You said you wanted to train with me,” AJ replied.
“Applejack, my everything hurts, and I can’t move!” I exclaimed. “This isn’t training, it’s insanity!”
This, finally, managed to knock some sense into her. The sight of her coltfriend, splayed out on the ground, in agony, and looking ever so slightly pathetic seemed to help her realise that she might be overdoing things a tad. Big Mac, who’d been watching our antics from the orchards, and had now returned to the farmhouse to fetch some tools from the barn, agreed.
“He’s right, sis,” he said sagely. “You push yourself like that and before long you ain’t gonna be runnin’ nowhere.”
“Alright, I get it,” she relented. “Tell you what, Bones. How ‘bout we call today a wash and start fresh tomorrow, only I’ll tone things down a bit. I still want to try and get first in the race. But I think I’ve got a better way to get one over on Rainbow Dash.”
And so, the two of us went inside to recover. I’m pretty sure I spent the rest of the day laid up on the sofa giving my poor legs and heart a chance to repair themselves.
Over the following couple weeks, Applejack and I continued to train, albeit with a little less intensity. We kept up a steady regime of cardio exercises from running, to swimming and even a few games, as well as endurance to help build muscle strength. And crucially, we had rest days planned to give ourselves time to recover properly and prevent injury.
It was a lot of fun too. Back on Earth, I’d been put off from going to the gym partly by negative school experiences, and partly by how uncomfortable you could feel working out in front of others. And what exercise I did, I preferred to do alone, either from home, or by going in at odd hours when it would be quiet. But training with AJ was a lot more easy going. I know I’m never going to be in as good a shape as she is, but she never made me feel awkward or inadequate. Applejack was always encouraging, and I was the same to her in turn. We were both working together and supporting each other through the training. As a result, by the time race day dawned, we were more than ready.
On the day of the race, AJ and I got up at our usual time and had a good breakfast, consisting of the closest I could get to a full English; a concept quite foreign to ponies. We had fried eggs, baked beans, a couple hash browns each, some mushrooms and tomatoes, with a few rounds of fried bread and plenty of coffee and apple juice, in addition to a bowl of cereal. In place of the sausage and bacon, as well as the black pudding we substituted in grilled oatcakes and bubble and squeak, something I’d introduced the Apples and Equestria as a whole to. All in all, we had quite the mountain of food to chow down on, but crucially, getting up early gave our bodies ample time to properly digest it all, meaning we’d have the energy needed to complete the race, without risking the unfortunate implications of running on a full stomach.
The both of us were looking forward to the race. Personally, I loved running through the woods, including a good portion of the farm, and seeing all the red, amber, and gold leaves fall from the trees creating a multicolour snowstorm as the herd raced past. Running with a group like this seemed to unearth primal equine instincts. And if nothing else, it was a whole lot of fun. Applejack on the other hoof had just one thing on her mind, beating Rainbow Dash. I tried to gently remind her not to get too competitive this time.
“Just remember, AJ,” I said as the two of us headed out the door, bound for the start line at White Tail Wood. “We’re doing this to prepare for winter and to have a good time. I don’t want to see you end up tied for last place again after all the work we’ve put in.”
“Don’t worry, Bones,” she reassured me. “I learned my lesson last time. Just be glad I ain’t tyin’ Rainbow’s wings behind her back this time round.” I chuckled at that.
Arriving at the start, which was an open field just outside the woods, we found plenty of ponies already there, all decked out and ready to race. Finding our way to the registration desk, we both got issued our number cards. In a rather worrying omen, I ended up with lucky thirteen. And as I was fastening it around my chest, Rainbow Dash joined us. And unlike Applejack, it seemed nopony had managed to talk any sense into her, and her desire to win at all costs was still going strong.
She arrived with all the quiet subtlety of a trainwreck, blasting a sonic rainboom over our heads as she sailed down into a smooth landing. The resultant ringing in our ears left everypony just a little cheesed off with her. Seriously, all that overpressure could very easily have blown our eardrums out. Not that Dash noticed of course. Strutting up to the two of us, a huge grin on her face, and ignoring all the irritated ponies around her, Rainbow Dash showed how the better part of a year in the Wonderbolts, Equestria’s most premiere stunt display team, had helped to temper her brash nature.
“Sup, AJ,” she said, hoofbumping her friend and rival. “Ready to lose?”
Applejack just glared at the pegasus.
“Rainbow, you nearly deafened everypony down here!” I exclaimed. “What in Celestia’s name were you thinking pulling a rainboom so close to the ground?” Dash waved my concerns away with a hoof.
“Chillax, Bones,” she said. “I wasn’t going fast enough to do any real damage. And hey, I probably helped loosen all the leaves for ya.”
“Loosen my teeth in my skull is more like it,” I grumbled. Applejack meanwhile took a different tack to dressing down Rainbow Dash.
“Nice flyin’, RD,” she commended nonchalantly. “Tryin’ to get yourself all psyched up to go against me?” Dash is easily goaded at the best of times.
“Are you kidding?” she exclaimed. “I don’t need to psyche myself up for this. I know I’m gonna beat you.”
“No you won’t,” AJ said smugly. Dash fumed.
“Yes I will!” And AJ loved it.
“No you won’t!”
“Yes I will!” Actually this was quite fun to watch.
“No you won’t!”
“Will!” Okay, now it was getting tedious.
“Won’t!”
“Will infinity!” Finish her!
“Won’t infinity plus one!” Yes!
“Dammit!” Dash turned away to sulk while I struggled to contain my laughter.
Luckily, before the two grown mares could become any more juvenile, Cheerilee walked up to the three of us, falling back on her role as schoolteacher to break apart bickering foals.
“Neither of you are going to win if you don’t get registered with a number soon,” she warned. “The race is starting in about five minutes.”
“Oh horseapples!” the two mares said, before they dashed off to complete preparations.
Luckily, Applejack and Rainbow managed to get themselves properly entered just in time, although it would have made for a funny story, and possibly even a good episode and friendship lesson for the two of them to get so caught up in their rivalry that they actually missed the race. It also would have made AJ utterly poisonous to live with. Applejack though was a little ahead of Dash in that sense. While she did still want to thrash the pegasus and gain all the associated bragging rights, she wasn’t treating that as her only goal.
Between the two of us, we’d come up with quite a clever plan that would not only annoy Rainbow beyond belief, but also let AJ get one over on her best friend. Admittedly, I’d partly pinched the idea from an early episode of TNG Star Trek but it was still a sound idea. While Rainbow was getting herself ready, I had a chance to quickly chat with Applejack before the race.
“You ready for this, AJ?” I asked. Applejack nodded.
“Sure am, Bones,” she said, before chuckling to herself. “I just can’t wait to see Rainbow’s face at the end. She ain’t gonna know what hit her.”
At that moment, we heard the sound of the ‘Call to the Post’ going up, the old trumpet blaring the signal for us all to line up at the start. It always struck me as odd how a traditional signal used in horse races on Earth should also be used here. Curiously, by the same token, Equestria’s military doesn’t make much use of bugle signals typical of cavalry regiments and the military in general. Perhaps it is too hard for ponies to run and blow a bugle at the same time. In any case, the short call meant that the race was about to start and that all participants needed to be at the starting line shortly.
Taking my place on the proverbial starting grid (the start was just a simple line painted on the ground with a marshal on either side. I think it would have been a bit over the top for us all to have to get into a starting gate), I found myself between AJ and Rainbow. The two mares eyed each other as we fell under starter’s orders. Honestly, I think it was only the fact that I was standing between the two that they didn’t start something then and there. Still, Rainbow had one last parting shot before the kick off.
“Get ready to eat my dust, Applejack,” she said confidently. AJ shot right back though.
“Funny,” she drawled. “I was just about to say the same thing to you.”
And with that last parting shot, the flag dropped and the race began. I quickly threw myself forward as I speedily built up to a gallop. Behind me, I could both hear and feel the rest of the pack, as dozens of hooves thundered along, with Dash and AJ either side of me. But this was a marathon, not a sprint, and for our little plan to work, I needed to save my energy for later in the race. So, feeling a little awkward as I did so, I allowed myself to drop back into the main body of racers, leaving Applejack and Rainbow Dash to take position as the front runners. Meanwhile, above us, the leaves of the first few trees were already starting to fall, and we found ourselves cantering through a multicolour snowstorm of leaves.
I’ve never got the ‘fun’ of running. It’s good for you, and it may very well save your life one day, but I would never consider it something I found enjoyment in. Having run three quarters of the course, my body was not best pleased with me, even going relatively easy and keeping myself back in the pack, I was still breathing hard, my legs ached, and I generally wanted to stop and rest up.
That’s not to say it was completely terrible though. If nothing else, you had beautiful scenery all around. While Sweet Apple Acres will always have a charm for me, particularly on long summer evenings or crisp, clear winter nights, there were plenty of other beauty spots around Ponyville, and White Tail Wood was one of them. With all the leaves around us and winding trails, it kind of reminded me of New England a bit. Well, I say reminded, I’ve never been there, let’s say it fitted with TV depictions of New England in the autumn. When it isn’t raining cats and dogs, autumn is probably my favourite season here in Equestria, simply for the beautiful foliage, even if it is a bugger to sweep it all up for mulch.
But while it was nice to appreciate the beauty of nature around me, I was still in a race, and more importantly, as we began the final mile, we entered the point where I was to spring into action.
You see, so far, I’d kept back in the race, looking to place somewhere in the top ten probably, but a far cry from my marefriend and Rainbow, who had been battling for the lead the whole time. I couldn’t see them, but thanks to Pinkie, who had returned, sadly sans Spike, to commentate the race via balloon, I was kept up to date on what was going on up front. The two mares had been neck and neck from minute one, each only gaining the lead for a few scarce moments before it was snatched away by the other. It was a real case of no quarter asked or given, and it made a great show for the spectators who lined the route to cheer us all on. But now that we were reaching the end, I began to tap into specially kept back reserves and put on a burst of speed. Slowly, I began to make my way up through the pack. The race itself might have been a marathon, but now, for me, it was a sprint.
While I might not be an earth pony, with their level of endurance and stamina, I had been training with Applejack and was pretty close to her. I was certainly able to keep up with her through our training, once she toned down the suicidal routine. So, if I’d been giving it my all, as AJ and Rainbow had, I ought to be right up front with them, battling for the lead all the way. Instead though, I’d held myself back, going at a more leisurely pace, while still keeping fairly close to the leaders. As we neared the finish line, the two mares would be tapping into the last of their strength to outpace the other, and would consequently slow up a little. This would give me, with a fair bit of stamina left, a chance to put on some speed, catch up, and quite possibly overtake.
What would annoy Rainbow Dash more do you think; losing to Applejack, or losing to me, somepony she considers almost as much an egghead as Twilight? AJ and I got inspired by the two rivals’ last race, when Rarity snatched victory from the both of them due to their distraction and by what had happened in their first race when Twilight beat them both. Applejack, by her own admission, while she could avoid losing to the pegasus, wasn’t sure she could outright beat her, but she could exhaust her to a stalemate. And that left the number one spot in the Winner’s Circle ripe for the taking.
Passing Derpy on one side and Bon Bon on the other, I moved up into third place. The main body of racers had really closed the gap and as I got a look at them, it was clear that both mares were flagging, although neither seemed willing to give up. They were even still trading barbs with each other.
“What’s the matter, Dash?” AJ asked between pants. “Am I goin’ too fast for ya!”
“As if, AJ!” Rainbow shot back. “I’ve just been going easy on you. Wouldn’t want to totally humiliate you, so I figured a close finish would soften the blow!”
Rounding the corner, the finish line, and the assembled crowd of cheering onlookers came into view. That was my cue to make my move. Digging into my reserves, I went into a full on gallop, sprinting to the finish. I can still remember the look on Rainbow’s face as I briefly drew level with her.
“Hi Rainbow!” I called out smiling. Giving a quick mock salute, I sped up again.
“Bye Rainbow!”
The pegasus was briefly stunned, but soon tried to catch up with me. But having used up all her energy keeping pace and trading pole position with AJ the entire race, she just didn’t have anything left in her. Applejack was loving it.
“Yeehaw!” she cheered. “Go on, sugarcube! You can make it!”
Dash gave it one more try to beat me at the last moment, but Applejack too tapped into the last of her reserves to harry her. As the finish line drew up, since it seemed like the most appropriate time short of an actual cavalry charge, I gave the rebel yell and tore across the finish line, cutting the ribbon with my barrel. AJ and Rainbow followed mere milliseconds behind. It was too close to call on the matter of who came second, but the winner was undisputed.
I considered being gracious in victory, but I just couldn’t resist using the victory as a chance to wear my ‘winning’ face. The smug look cheesed Rainbow off even more.
A week or so later, and Dash was still licking her wounds from the race. After some careful examination, it came to light that, not only had she been bested by somepony she never even considered to be a contender, but she had also failed to defeat her rival. The photo of the two ponies crossing the line just after me showed it clear as day; it was a draw. While Applejack hadn’t managed to beat her in the end, for somepony as competitive as Rainbow, a tie was that much worse.
However, getting beaten by not only me, but Rarity of all ponies, had helped bring the pegasus back down to terra firma again. Just as Fluttershy will always have to contend with her shyness, Rainbow constantly needs to have her ego checked. And coming joint second in the Running of the Leaves did just that. It also helped pull her out of that hyper competitive mindset she was, which allowed her and AJ to patch things up.
Honestly, I tell you, at times, those two, with their little rivalries and arguments, come across as more of a couple that AJ and I do sometimes. They certainly squabble like an old married couple at any rate. And between you and me, a part of me does wonder if there is something more to their friendship.
But anyway, with the race done and dusted, not only had Rainbow Dash been reminded that she is not a god, but all the trees around Ponyville had been stripped clean. The same could be said for Sweet Apple Acres. The apple trees, once green and vibrant, later filled with fire like leaves, were now as bare as the zap apple trees. It was a little sad in a way, seeing them all so bare and lifeless. But it is the natural order of things I suppose. I only wish that, after the race, we didn’t have to spend so much time raking in all the leaves. The rotting vegetation would make for some good compost and mulch for the trees. And come next spring, it would all start again.
I found my mind drifting back to when the trees first began to develop their first leaves and fruit. I chuckled to myself as I remembered a funny little incident involving Apple Bloom and her quest to catch a glimpse of the Great Seedling during the last harvest. It’s an Earth Pony legend, a mystical stag like creature. Supposedly, it visits all farms come harvest time, and if successfully caught, will grant an eternal harvest as a reward. Like Pinkie Sense, it is difficult for a rational pony like myself to examine. Nopony has ever successfully caught him. Then again, not so long ago, I figured Windigoes were most likely a literary device.
It certainly didn’t stop Apple Bloom from trying, laying traps and trying to track him down. I can hardly claim the high ground on that front; as a child I set various traps on Christmas Eve to catch Father Christmas, and for a while I was actually convinced the Great Seedling might be a real thing, as was AJ, when Apple Bloom discovered signs of him being on the farm, even catching a glimpse of him. Sadly, it wasn’t the genuine article; just a sleep deprived Big Mac, overworked from the harvest. Still, I refuse to discount the possibility, and next year I may just lend Apple Bloom a hoof in trying to catch him.
But that was all off in the future. Right now, the trees of Sweet Apple Acres would take a well earned rest. We’d look to cut down a few of the less productive ones, or older ones in another week or so. As we had after that storm earlier in the year, Mac and I would fell the trees, then chop them up to sell to Burnt Oak as firewood. With apple supplies running low as we came out of the season, we might be able to up the price, but there was still the issue of finite supply, so firewood, along with wool from the sheep in springtime, and milk from the cattle made for good alternative sources of income.
Speaking of the cattle, that was the next job on the list. As November wound on and the weather became increasingly colder, we would need to move the herd off the high open plain and down toward their winter pastures and cowsheds. That meant another cattle drive. Hopefully this time I could get through it without getting soaked through.
The next morning, we all headed out to start rounding up the herd. Driving the herd out to pasture was one thing, but getting them back in was an entirely different kettle of fish. For one thing, back in the spring, the cattle were all in their sheds the night prior, so we simply had to let them out and start driving. But with them out on the proverbial open range, we’d first need to round them all up. Now true, given that these cows were sentient, it was a bit easier, but given that cattle do like to roam quite a bit and the size of the herd and the fact that they were twice our size, it would still be a job to get them all together and in a state to be driven back to the farm. Crucially, this wouldn’t be a one day job. The plan was to spend today mustering the herd, and then drive them home the following morning, camping out overnight.
As before, it was a case of all hooves on deck, with Sugar Belle, who had pitched in previously, again joining to help out as an extra set of hooves. Granny Smith also joined us, duly appointed as our mess officer with Apple Bloom helping her, while Big Mac hauled the chuck wagon with some basic supplies and camp equipment. That left Applejack, Sugar Belle, and myself travelling fairly light. The three of us would scout ahead once we got out into the fields and spread out to try and find the herd.
The fairly long trek out gave Applejack and I a chance to talk. While the Sisterhooves Social and the Running of the Leaves had been a fun time for everypony concerned, I couldn’t help but notice that of late there was something of a melancholy about her. It was the same with the rest of her friends, and the reason was obvious; Twilight. It had been over a month, getting on for two now since she’d moved back to Canterlot and taken up the mantle of Princess of Equestria, and we were all now finding ourselves missing her company. And Spike too; Big Mac had been particularly despondent over his O&O games with Discord, and the lack of their dragon DM of late. I was very much the same. True, it wasn’t like she and the girls were together all the time, but they always managed to see each other whenever they could, adventures aside, and they had an extremely close friendship. With her gone though, we were all starting to really notice the absence.
So, like any good boyfriend, I tried to cheer her up, or at least give her a listening ear. After all, as Pinkie Pie once said, AJ cries on the inside, and like me, has a bad habit of bottling up her emotions at times, using work as a distraction.
“How you holdin’ up, AJ?” I asked as we both trotted together a little ahead of the other. It was getting on for mid afternoon now, and I was hoping to catch sight of the herd before long.
“Fine, Bones,” she said, not meeting my eyes as we walked side by side.
“Just fine?” I prodded, that got her to look at me.
“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” she said a little hurriedly, before slightly scrunching her mouth up and letting her eyes dart around. Needless to say, I could tell the Element of Honesty was fibbing.
“Well, I’ve not been so great this past week,” I admitted, hoping my own admission would help her open up. “I guess...I guess I just find myself missin’ Twilight is all. She and Spike have been gone almost two months now. It feels kinda strange not seeing one of your best friends and havin’ to read about them in newspapers.”
AJ looked away and cast her gaze toward her hooves.
“I know what ya mean,” she admitted, before perking up a moment later. “I’m sure she’ll stop by to visit once she gets the chance though.”
Twilight had promised that. The day she left, the day of coronation, she had promised us that, as soon as she could, she would come back to visit, and continue to do so as often as she could. But I couldn’t help but recall the number of times Princess Celestia or Princess Luna had visited Ponyville. In both cases, it had been only a small number, and many of those were on official business rather than a social call. It was a consuming job being princess, and two months in, Twilight hadn’t been able to spare so much as half a day to stop by and say hello.
“I still miss just being able to stop by the castle and say hi though,” I said a little forlornly.
My slightly sad grumblings however seemed to trigger something in Applejack, for her head suddenly shot up with a start and she smiled.
“Who says you can’t do that now?” she pointed out. I was thrown off for a moment.
“Say what?” I said perplexed.
“Well, if Twilight can’t come and visit us, there’s no reason why we can’t all go and visit Twilight in Canterlot.”
“What, you mean go to her court?” I asked. AJ nodded.
“Sure,” she replied. “We could all go towards the end of the day. Or we could send her and Spike a letter to set somethin’ up. It might only be for a little bit, but at least we could all go say hi and catch up. Shoot, we could even bring her some of this season’s cider as an office warming present.”
I chuckled at that. Strange how I’d gone in with the intent of cheering AJ up, and she’d managed to do the same for me. It was a good idea too. Twilight would be kept busy by court, true, but us coming up to see her would be a heck of a lot easier than her coming down to Ponyville.
Before we could discuss her idea any further though, the two of us were interrupted by a cry from Granny Smith.
“Hey, are you two whippersnappers blind or somethin’? There’s cows out there!”
Startled back to the task at hand, looking ahead, we did indeed spot a fairly large body of cattle. They were all grazing on a large section of downland . It wasn’t all of them, but it looked to be more than two thirds of the herd.
Well, that was one job out the way.
AJ and I put on a bit of speed and trotted out towards them. With any luck, we wouldn’t have to go hunting around for the rest of them, we could just ask this lot where their friends were. Cows aren’t as easy to distinguish from one another as ponies are. But over time I’ve learnt to identify the more important ones and I soon picked out Mooriel in the herd. AJ did too and we made a beeline for her, along with her now much older looking calf.
“Howdy, Mooriel, Daisy Jo.” AJ called out to the heifer and her calf.
“Well hey there, Applejack. Don’t tell me it’s time to come back down to the farm already.”
“’Fraid so,” AJ said. “But I figure we can use today to get y’all gathered together and ready for a nice leisurely drive back. So you’ve got at least one more day to enjoy yourselves up here. How have things been anyhow?”
“Well, to tell you the truth, it has been getting somewhat chilly up here the past couple nights,” the cow admitted before letting out a sigh. “Still, I never look forward to saying goodbye to these wide open spaces.”
“Don’t worry, Mooriel. It’ll all still be here come spring,” I assured, making her smile.
“Where’s the rest of your people anyhow?” AJ asked. Mooriel quickly rattled off some places to look and after asking her and her friends to stay here, we doubled back to Granny and the others and started on the round-up.
The round up took up pretty much the rest of the day. While actually herding the cattle wasn’t too difficult, the distances involved made for a bit of a trek. When we were harvesting the apple trees, we’d start at one end, and slowly work our way through each orchard and around the farm, moving in one direction. But given how scattered the cattle were, we couldn’t do that here. We’d head out, try three or four potential spots, find a few head of cattle and bring them back to the main herd, only to have to then go back out either in a new direction, or the same way we’d come and go further out. While I would have liked to simply have kept on rounding them all up in one big group, Granny Smith, who was after all, still very much in charge of the farm, didn’t like having the cows under our direction for so long. Driving them all together is one thing, but moving a small gaggle of heifers back and forth would both tire them out and stress them a bit. Cattle, like all animals, don’t really like being herded on an instinctual level. Driving them back would be more guiding them where they wanted to go anyway as opposed to leading or forcing them along.
In short, that meant a lot of hours on our hooves, cantering back and forth between the slowly growing herd, and various spots where the remaining strays might be found. We split up into three teams; AJ and I, Mac and his wife, and Granny and Apple Bloom. With any luck, the old trick of divide and conquer would pay off. On the flip side though, it meant we went pretty much the whole rest of the day without seeing much of each other. I was just grateful we didn’t need somepony to keep the herd together. To her credit, Mooriel and the other older and wiser girls did a perfectly fine job of keeping order amongst their kin, although some of the calves were inclined to wander.
There’s not really too much to tell here. Applejack and I chatted about this and that on our journeys, and even swapped a few stories with the cattle we came across. Most of them were fairly young, either last year’s calves, or youngsters born last spring who fancied ranging a bit further than their parents would like. And unlike the cowboys of old, we didn’t have too much to contend with in the way of adversity. Out here there were no coyotes, no range cattle to get tangled with our own brand (not that Equestrian cattle were branded, I asked Applejack about it once and she considered it an utterly barbaric practice), and certainly no bandits or Indians trying to pinch a few head, or worse. No, the only thing we had to contend with was still a ways off on the horizon.
“Looks like a pretty bad storm, Applejack,” I commented as we made our way back to the herd with our newest set of reprobates.
Applejack looked up and turned to look behind us to where I was pointing. Off in the distance, in sharp contrast to the mostly clear blue sky above, there was a nasty looking mess of clouds. The dark grey, foreboding look told me they weren’t just for show; those were storm clouds, filled with rain, and maybe even ready to turn into thunderstorms. It was November after all, and with that came a fair few rain storms, which would, come December, be replaced by cold frost and snow. We’d picked a time that was supposed to be rain free but this close to the Everfree Forest, wild storms blew in all too frequently.
Needless to say, storms and cattle don’t mix. While these cows were more than willing to put up with a little rain, a thunderstorm, complete with lightning, was a different matter. While they may be sentient and perfectly fluent in Ponish, cattle aren’t ponies. They still rely and act based on animal instinct for the most part, and a bad storm could scatter the herd, to say nothing of what could happen if we had lightning when they were still out in the open. I saw the effects first hand once back on Earth. It wasn’t pretty and I shan’t forget the smell as long as I live.
“We better hustle along then,” Applejack agreed, eyeing the weather. “Rainbow said we were due for some rain tomorrow, but I was hopin’ we’d have the herd back in before it hit.”
“What do you want to do? Drive them through the night?”
Night driving on an open plain could be done after all. But after being rounded up, I doubt many of the cattle would like the idea of a long walk home in the dark. And Celestia knows that the first rule of cattle driving is that you never let a cow take a step knowing that it is being herded. You guide them, not force them along. If they wanted to bed down and we kept pushing them, we’d just be making more work for ourselves. Plus we’d be pretty tired too, and tired hooves cause accidents.
“Let’s see what Granny thinks,” AJ said, wisely deferring to her experienced grandmother. She then turned to the five strays that were with us. “Alright, y’all. Let’s keep it movin’. Folks are gonna be waitin’ on us.”
Arriving back at the herd, we reunited the strays with the rest, and found that everypony else was also back. Our little group constituted the last of the strays. Finding Granny Smith pottering around the wagon, we asked her for advice on whether to drive the herd or not.
“Well, there’s ain’t no way we can get these whippersnappers back to the farm before night,” she said. “But that storm looks like it’s gonna break before too long. Ya know what’s worse than driving a herd at night? Driving a herd in the dark with a storm over your heads. The way I see it, the best thing to do is drive them to somewhere in a valley. That’ll give us all some shelter and protect us all somewhat from the lightning if it happens. We make camp and then go from there. If it’s a real bad storm, we may have to spend another day roundin’ up strays if the storm scatters them, drive them home the day after tomorrow.”
It was a sound idea. Realistically, we would have to accept that we’d be out here tonight. We knew that either way. The question was how we dealt with the storm. Granny seemed inclined to go for a tactic to mitigate the damage, rather than try to overcome the issue. It certainly sounded like a good plan in any case, and we all agreed. Now for the next point of contention.
“So where do you reckon we can hole up for the night?” I asked.
Big Mac wordlessly pulled out a map of the farm and the surrounding region. At the moment, we were on a relatively high plain, out in the open and exposed. We needed to head west to get toward the farm, crossing the river and passing by the apple orchards. But as the crow flies, the ground was all pretty open. To the north lay the Everfree Forest, complete with timberwolves amongst other predators that would be attracted to the cattle. The only option then, was south. Applejack spotted a good looking spot; a small valley, surrounded by tall hills. At the bottom was a reasonably open valley floor with enough space for us to move the cattle without trouble. The hills, along with a number of tall trees, would reduce the risk of lightning, and provide some protection from the wind. All in all, it looked like a good place to make camp.
“I reckon we can drive them all there in about three hours,” Granny declared. “That’ll give us time to settle the cattle and set up camp. Celestia knows I don’t wanna be out when it starts rainin’.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Applejack agreed. “Big Mac, can y’all help Bones drive the herd? Me and AB will guide ‘em.”
“Eeyup,” Mac agreed.
And so, we roused the herd and got ourselves into position to start driving them. Our positions were changed around this time. Mac and I had the relatively easier job, at least, once we got them going, of driving the cattle from the rear. AJ and Apple Bloom meanwhile would be positioned either side of the column to steer them. This would be a little tougher, since cattle are creatures of routine, and taking them in the wrong direction would unsettle them a bit.
It took a bit of effort to get them moving, and we had a couple false starts where part of the herd would move off and the others would just mill. Eventually though, we had them all underway, promising them shelter from the upcoming storm.
Since the storm was coming from the north, we had our backs to it, which helped encourage the cattle along, and before too long, we were settled into a relaxed drive. However, I could already feel the storm. You know just before a bad thunderstorm hits, you feel it in the air; pressure, or the electricity in the air. It’s like the atmosphere itself is tense. In a way, it’s a lot like how I, as a unicorn, perceive magic when examining it. Dark or very powerful magic has similar properties, only you need to be a unicorn to sense them. It certainly didn’t help ease my anxiety about the storm. Granny tried to help with that, as she pulled the chuck wagon along.
“Don’t worry yourself too much, Bones,” she said reassuringly. “I’ve taken herds through worse than this. We’ll ride out the storm and collect any strays tomorrow morning. As long as we get the herd bedded down and resting before the storm breaks, we should be fine.”
I nodded in understanding, but I couldn’t help but feel an ominous sense of dread as I cast a glance back at the storm, which now looked closer and more menacing than ever.
In the end though, we did manage to outrun the storm to our campsite. Coming down off of the plains, we led the herd into one of the many small valleys created by the hilly terrain. Ponyville, and Sweet Apple Acres, as well as a large chunk of the surrounding area after all, fall within one big valley; the Canterhorn. But it wasn’t all one big plateau. The whole area is quite hilly in places, just look at Sweet Apple Acres. As such, while we were in something of the open end of the Canterhorn, there were plenty of little gulleys, passes, and narrow valleys around. This one, which wasn’t even titled on the map we had, was actually quite narrow and resembled something of a box canyon, with steep hillsides on either side and a lush valley floor with wild apple trees below. It was here that we brought the cattle to a halt, and after milling around for a little while, sensing the oncoming rain shower, they began to bed down. Fun fact if you ever find yourself out in the country; if you ever see all the farm animals lie down, it means bad weather is on the way.
We too prepared for the storm, setting up our tents under the shelter of a small grove of apple trees. Until I came to Equestria, I never really did any camping. I never really got the appeal of doing it in Britain. Somehow the idea of huddling for warmth in a sleeping bag surrounded by a plastic tent covered in toggles and zips that’s constantly battered by the wind and thus almost impossible to put up is fun.Then again, I never got that whole “outdoor pursuits” bollocks either.
With Equestria’s more amicable climate though, it was a more pleasant affair. Aside from when it was necessary like now, going out camping in the woods was one of many family activities we all got involved in, like when we’d all go on a hike to Winsome Falls and get a close up view of the beautiful rainbow waterfalls. And Apple Bloom would sometimes camp out with the Crusaders or as part of the Filly Scouts, prompting me, AJ or Big Mac to go along to supervise. Nothing like being alone in the woods with a bunch of fillies armed with axes and fire to make you appreciate the comforts of home.
We each had a tent stowed in the wagon, along with blankets and other necessities. We now set to putting everything up. Mac meanwhile, briefly went off to find some firewood to get a fire going. While it probably wouldn’t survive the downpour too well, it would give us a chance to cook dinner and spin a few campfire tales.
And a short while later, that was precisely what we were doing. We were all gathered around a blazing campfire, with the cows settled down around us on the bed ground. The storm, so far, had held off from us, and it was now fairly dark. But with the light of the fire, there was enough light for me to read from one of my favourite old stories. I’d been reading it in a somewhat serialised fashion to Apple Bloom at bedtime, and since we were all here and getting ready to sleep ourselves, and since I’d packed it at her request, it seemed like the perfect time to finish it. Sitting around the crackling campfire out of the range certainly seemed like an appropriate place. I smiled as I came to the last couple of lines.
“But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she’s going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can’t stand it. I been there before.”
Closing the book, I looked up again. Apple Bloom was just barely awake, determined to hear the end of Huck’s adventures, leaning against Big Mac. We were all seated, in a rather Lyra like way, on a couple tree trunks Mac had found during his hunt for firewood. They made for good benches and were better than sitting on the ground.
“That was a great story, Bones,” Applejack said, pausing to yawn for a moment. I smiled as I closed the book and set it down next to me.
“Always was one of my favourites,” I replied. “Although some folks back home didn’t much care for it on account of some of the language.”
“What’s your favourite book, Bones?” a sleepy Apple Bloom asked. “And can you read it to me next?”
I was about to reply, and was considering whether or not ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ was appropriate for a young filly, when I was cut off by a flash of lightning, followed by a loud clap of thunder. We all started and looked up. It looked like the storm was closing in. I’d heard the odd rumble as I’d been reading, but this was much closer. The cattle sensed it too, and we heard a couple bellowing out in the herd. We barely had time to seek shelter in our tents before the wind whipped up and the rain started. In a few short minutes, we were in the heart of the storm. And there was worse to come.
We only got a short little warning before it all kicked off. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, my body somehow intuitively knowing what was about to happen. All of a sudden there was a huge flash of light, followed by an almighty crashing sound, as lightning struck one of the nearby trees, sending flaming branches hurtling to the ground.
As a rational being, this was terrifying enough, with little Apple Bloom letting out a frightened shriek and burying her head in Big Mac’s shoulder. But for the cattle, the reaction was instinctive. Seemingly as one being, they rose to their hooves and did what virtually all prey species do when presented with a threat; they ran.
“Land sakes! They’re stampeding!” Applejack exclaimed. She quickly grabbed some rope and her hat. “C’mon y’all! We’ve got to stop them before they hurt themselves. Granny, you stay with AB. Mac, Bones, with me!”
The three of us bolted out into the driving wind and rain, barely able to see or stand, and as best we could, set off after the fleeing cattle.
To be continued...
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
Ooh, a two parter. I haven't done one of these in a while. Originally, this was all going to be one chapter, but my proofreader suggested that it be broken up into two parts due to the length.
Join us next week for the exciting conclusion.
Chapter 12 - November - Part 2
Catching a stampeding mob of VW Beetles made of meat is hard enough on any day of the week. But catching them in the dark, when it’s lashing down with rain, you can’t see your own hoof in front of your face, and the grass all around is slippery as anything, and you might be blasted in twain by lightning at any moment is like playing the Library level of Halo on legendary difficulty with every skull on except bandanna. In short, it’s tricky. The only advantage I had is that I had my magic, which let my throw out a bit of light for Applejack, Mac and I as we galloped to catch the herd.
Now, with a stampeding herd, the biggest risk is that the cattle will hurt themselves. Be that crashing through fences, trampling over each other, particularly calves, or just the old standby of running straight off a sheer drop like so many lemmings. Eventually, they would tire and they would naturally calm down. But with so many head of cattle, they could hurt themselves long before that. So the next best option was to try and turn them, steer them into a mill; get them running in something close to a circle and let them tire that way. That seemed to be AJ’s plan as we drew up to the front of the herd. It was no use talking to them now. You could see their eyes were wide in fright, and they were quite deaf to our pleas to stop.
“Alright!” AJ called over the wind, rain and thunder. “Mac, you get ahead of them, try and slow them. Bones and I will try and turn the leaders!”
“Right, Applejack!” Mac called, putting on a burst of speed to overtake.
Another big problem was that communication between the three of us would be tricky, and it wouldn’t be too hard to get separated out here. Still, at least we had a plan. Mac’s red hide soon faded into the darkness as he vanished amidst the charging herd. Checking stampeding cattle is no easy task. The only saving grace is that we had Winona with us. The collie was a natural at herding and quickly took to taking snaps at the herd’s legs to try and scare them into line. As she followed big Mac, she too vanished into the darkness.
Still, we occasionally caught glimpses of Mac and her weaving back and forth trying to keep the herd together. The only thing to make a stampede worse is for the herd to scatter. If that happened, in this storm, we could lose cattle out here. Applejack and I meanwhile, did our best to start turning the herd and get them milling. This time we didn’t use gentle encouragement either. Since they were a lot bigger than us, we took to pretty much ramming them, throwing ourselves into their sides, slowly forcing some of the cattle to turn up front. It was slow going, bruising, and tiring too.
“Horse apples!” I snarled as a wave of pain shot up my shoulder. “This ain’t workin’, AJ!” I called over the storm. “The herd’s too strung out to mill!”
We were turning them, but to get a mill going, it needed to be sharp and force the herd back on itself, so that the leaders would start following the ones at the rear. More to the point, we were covering quite a lot of ground now. The herd had probably covered a good five or six miles and showed no signs of slowing. Before too long, we would start hitting fences and woodland.
“Well I’m open to suggestions, Bones!” Applejack called back.
I tried to think. I only knew a little about cattle. Back home, having a dairy herd stampede was virtually unheard of. You were more at risk from a lone cow turning on you for getting too close to a calf than the whole lot turning on you or panicking. There was one idea though. Cowboys would often use their six shooters to scare the cattle to check them. I might not have an equaliser on my hip, but I had the equivalent of one on my head. I could use my magic to mimic something close to a flashbang. With any luck it might startle them enough to turn them.
“I’m gonna try usin’ my magic to spook ‘em!” I called. “I’m goin’ up front!”
And so I sped up a little and after pushing my way through the herd, found Mac at the head of the column with Winona, still weaving desperately to keep the leaders in line and the herd together.
“Mac!” I called out, catching the near exhausted stallion’s attention. “I’m gonna use my magic to try and scare ‘em into a turn! I’ll go ahead of y’all about two hundred yards! When ya see me stop and turn, you and Winona break off and let the herd come to me. With any luck we can get a mill goin’!”
It was a ballsy plan if I do say so myself. If my magic didn’t scare the lead cattle, given how spread out they were, I’d have pretty much nowhere to go. I guess that made for good motivation. In any case, Mac nodded in understanding and I powered forward.
I cannot begin to tell you how bowel emptyingly scary it was to see around thirty or so cattle charging straight for me. One alone was quite capable of killing me by accident. Still, I had my plan, and we needed to check the herd, so I dug my hooves into the mud and held my ground. I saw a red splotch that was Big Mac peel off to the right, Winona following him, and the herd got closer. I could now feel the ground shaking as they got nearer.
The timing on this had to be perfect. Too early and it wouldn’t check them, too late and they wouldn’t stop in time. I waited till what I judged was the last possible second and then fired off my magic.
Now, I expected at this point there to be a fairly loud bang and a flash of light. The spell was a simple light show, not too dissimilar to a firework. What I got though was significantly louder and brighter than that. The effect on the cattle was near instantaneous. Their headlong flight was instantly checked at the sight, and instead of milling, the entire herd came to a sudden, sharp halt, bunching up together in alarm. For my part, I was baffled at what had happened. I mean, I know I have something of a knack when it comes to magic, but that was Twilight levels of epic. It wasn’t until I turned around that I realised what had happened. It was not my magic alone that had stopped them. Instead, not ten paces behind me, there was a patch of burnt earth where lightning had struck the ground.
Needless to say, I didn’t sleep for a week afterwards.
The good news though was that we managed to get the herd back under control, and by the time order had been restored, the storm had abated. Given that it wasn’t too long until dawn now, Applejack went back to fetch Granny, Apple Bloom and the wagon. Since, for some reason, no one, cattle or pony, was the least bit sleepy, we intended driving the herd home by the early morning light.
We finally made it back to the farm a little after six. We were wet, tired and covered in mud. But we had brought the herd home. The cows for their part, were deeply apologetic for the mishap, and the five of us were understanding. After all, if I’d known what had gone on behind me, I’d have probably bolted for cover too.
Fortunately for all of us, bringing in the cattle marked pretty much the last major task on the farm before we started preparing the farm for winter next month. We had been planting carrots, lettuce, and some other things every week to have a continuing harvest of fresh produce, but we’d stopped in October and finished the last harvest by now. The brief respite gave Applejack and the others a chance to put the idea we’d discussed on the drive into action.
Twilight had now been on the throne for getting on for two months. The transitional period was coming to an end and ponies were settling into the new way of things up in Canterlot. As such, regular court was now a thing again and the mare herself would have at least some free time, though not enough to come down to Ponyville. So instead, her friends would travel to Canterlot to visit her. I rather fancied tagging along myself. I know I’m not necessarily as close to Twilight as the girls are, but I was nonetheless affected by her absence. After all, she was the one who helped kickstart my study of magic and helped me learn how to control my own magic in those first early months. I regularly found myself in Golden Oaks library, and later in her castle, pouring over tomes and texts whenever I had some free time.
So I managed to tag along with them when they all caught the train up to Canterlot. I hadn’t been up here since the coronation. In addition to seeing Twilight again, the visit would also give me a chance to drop in on Dad, who now worked as Twilight’s legal advisor, and there was something else I wanted to do as well.
Arriving in the glittering capital, Applejack and I parted ways for a time. The girls deserved a chance to all meet up together and I didn’t feel right butting in on that, so I instead took a stroll up to my Dad’s office, getting escorted by one of the guards. I found him busily working on some legal document or other. Twilight has apparently decided to do what Celestia has been trying to do for over five hundred years and reform the tax code. He was certainly glad for the reprieve my visit brought.
“Bones!” he exclaimed, getting up from his desk and coming over to greet me. “I heard from Buttercup you and the others were in town. What brings you my way?”
I briefly propped myself up on my hind legs to hug him for a moment. It felt like an age since I’d seen him last, except perhaps in passing in Ponyville.
“Applejack and the others have gone to see Twilight,” I said as I dropped back down to all fours. “Or Princess Twilight I should say.” Dad quickly jumped on that.
“Bah, stow that, my lad,” he said reassuringly, waving his hand. “Twilight’s just like Tia and Luna when it comes to titles. Petitioners, guards and nobles call her Princess Twilight Sparkle, or Princess Twilight if they think she likes them. But her friends call her just Twilight, same as we always have. After all, she’s hardly a mare to forget her roots, now is she? The only royalty in this castle who insists on title is that one chap who doesn’t really deserve it.”
Now there’s a thought.
“How is Blueblood adjusting to the changes anyway, speaking of him?”
“Eh, not too bad. To tell you the truth, I shouldn’t speak so ill of him really. The lad really seems to have turned a corner this year. Between the rather humbling experience of losing his allowance for six months and the way he pitched in during the whole Bell incident, he seems to have really turned a corner. Who knows, he might even start wooing the mares again if his reputation really clears up. But enough about him, what about you, my boy? How come you aren’t in there with the rest of them?”
“Eh, I figured those six ought to get some time just with each other,” I replied with a shrug of my shoulders. “Celestia knows that it’s gonna be harder for them now. Aside from Twilight runnin’ Equestria, Rarity has her stores, AJ and I have the farm, Dash has her duties as a Bolt and the Weather Patrol, Fluttershy has her animal sanctuary...”
“And her pet draconequus,” Dad chipped in with a knowing grin.
“True,” I agreed. “And Pinkie’s got her job at Sugarcube Corner. And that’s forgetting their jobs at the school.”
“That’s the way of the world,” Dad said sagely. “Earth or Equestria, you get older, it gets harder to keep in touch with your mates. Those six will stick though I reckon. Fair weather friends don’t end up wielding supernatural magical objects powered by friendship itself, after all. Tell you what, how about you and me go for a walk in the gardens? A trip around there will give the girls plenty of time to catch up, then I’ll take you to the throne room to see Twilight.”
“Sure,” I agreed.
It had been a good long while since I was last in the castle’s gardens. Famous throughout Equestria for its wide variety of flora and fauna, it was like a miniature version of Sweet Feather Sanctuary. Of course, unlike Fluttershy’s shelter for all creatures great and small, the gardens here were also dotted with numerous statues, depicting heroes from Equestria’s past.
And then of course, there was the newest addition. It was placed in the spot where the ‘statue’ of Discord had once stood. It was certainly strange, knowing that it was three petrified beings that were on display now. Rather macabre for a land of Sunshine and Rainbows. It reminded me of how they put Cromwell’s head on Westminster Bridge after his death and trial (in that order I might add, they dug up his corpse and put it in the dock. We’re a vindictive race us English). Tirek and Cozy were cowering in fright. Only Chrysalis remained defiant to the last. Even petrified as she was, I still felt a twinge of fear as we walked up to it.
“I’m still not sure what to say about this, Bones,” Dad said, looking up at the trio. “I know I wasn’t ever exactly a proponent of reformation for all, but this makes the rope seem kind in comparison. Summary too; no trial, no nothing. They’re even trying to think of something to call the bloody thing, like it is just a statue or a work of art.”
“What are they thinking of calling it?” I asked. Dad turned to me and grinned.
“Well, I suggested ‘Death on the Rock’ since there are three of the beggars, but your mother said it was in poor taste and ponies wouldn’t get the joke anyway.” I found myself chuckling darkly at that.
“Real shame about Chrysalis though,” I commented. “I kinda would have liked to see her reformed. If nothin’ else, it would be cool to see what she looked like all multicoloured and all.”
“Never gonna happen, Bones,” Dad said, shaking his head. “Tirek was a complete muppet, and Cozy was just a bonkers kid, but Chrysalis, she was a vindictive old bitch. Couldn’t let go of a grudge for love nor money.”
“I always thought she was more scared of what would happen if she did,” I said, looking up at her. “Worried that if she changed like Thorax did and accepted ponies, she wouldn’t be a powerful queen any more. All she ever wanted was power. And the thought of losing it spooked her.”
“Hmm,” Dad said, putting on his best Yoda impression. “Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate...leads to suffering.”
“I just wonder what would have happened if things hadn’t gone our way,” I mused.
“Well,” Dad replied. “I imagine we’d all be dead now, including these three, magical powers or no.”
“But what would they have done if they had won?” I went on. “That’s what I never got about any of this. Chrysalis had a plan to turn Equestria into her feeding grounds the first time, and then covertly by impersonating royalty the second time. But what was her plan here? After they’d destroyed Equestria, what then? It was the same with Sombra, Tirek, almost all of them. What were they going to do after defeating the heroes? Who would raise the sun?”
“Well, you can hardly ask her now, Bones,” Dad reflected. “She took that little titbit with her.”
I found myself pondering that point as we would our way through the gardens, and eventually up to the throne room.
It was great to see Twilight again. I found myself resisting the urge to let out a d’aww when I saw the little alicorn sitting on the much larger throne, intended for a pony Celestia’s size. She reminded me of when Lizzie and I were kids and she would play in my dad’s swivel chair in his office. Aside from the crown on her head, she was very much the same pony I’d always known, and very glad to see me again. And she had quite the interesting bit of news.
Twilight, in her comparatively short time as princess, has passed many decrees, laws, and edicts, many of which related to books and libraries. Contrary to my early fears, Twilight hadn’t turned Equestria into a dystopian state built around books, with the death penalty for anypony who returns a library book late. But in addition to the various reforms she was working on, including a potential Equestrian version of the UN, she had come up with a rather unique idea. She had formed today what she called the Council of Friendship. Consisting of her five closest friends and fellow bearers of the Elements of Harmony, it was to meet regularly to discuss matters relating to friendship. In short, she had found a way to allow her friends to see her, without having to duck her duties, or theirs. The new roles for each pony were quite real, and outranked any other obligation. No matter what, there would always be some time for the six of them to get together.
It made me smile to know that the six of them wouldn’t be broken up by Twilight’s coronation. Like I said, it was an all too common thing to happen in life; friends got older and you just fell out of touch. Not so with these six. After all, as recent events have proven, there doesn’t seem to be any force in this world that can drive them apart for long.
Pleasant developments aside, the meeting also let me just catch up with Twilight as a friend. Dad was right about her views on formality and protocol. One quick bow from me and Twilight told me I only had to do that in front of other ponies, never when it was just friends. The two of us chatted about my own studies in magic, what was happening on the farm, how Mac and Sugar Belle were getting along, pretty much everything really. It wasn’t until towards the end though that the subject of her newest statue came up.
“I’m surprised that you left the old Legion of Doom out in the gardens,” I said curiously. “After Discord’s first escape, I’d have figured you’d have that thing under lock and key.”
“Oh, believe me, I do have ponies keeping an eye on it, Blade Star,” she said reassuringly. “Although, I doubt they will be escaping. Even Discord needed an extra boost of local chaos to fully break the spell, and that spell had degraded over the thousand years after Luna was banished, and she and Celestia lost their connection to the Elements.”
“I was actually quite surprised that you left them all there too,” I admitted. “I know it was Celestia, Luna and Discord who cast the spell, but I expected you to have a go at reforming them.” Twilight shook her head.
“I’d love to say I could,” she replied. “But as much as it hurts me to say it, there are some ponies that are just beyond redemption. Chrysalis was offered the chance to change her ways, so was Cozy Glow, and Tirek ignored his own brother in favour of pursuing villainy.”
“I just wish I could get into their heads,” I said as I walked over to a stained glass window picturing this latest triumph. “Find a way to understand them, work out what makes them tick. After all, nopony truly thinks of themselves as a villain. I mean, look at Discord. On the surface, he was an unrepentant jackass. But after Fluttershy got to know him, he eventually turned things around. The same can be said for Starlight, or Trixie even.”
“It would be interesting,” Twilight admitted as she stepped down from the dais and walked over to join me. “But it would also be much too dangerous letting those three loose again.”
At that moment though, inspiration seemed to strike the little alicorn.
“Hey, that gives me an idea,” she declared.
“Well, let’s hear it. Don’t keep us in suspense, your highness,” I said encouragingly.
“The spell the princesses used is the Stone Sleep spell. Remember, Rockhoof wanted me to use it on him. It effectively puts a pony to sleep while they’re petrified. Only powerful creatures like Discord can remain conscious. Since they’re asleep, they must dream at some point. Maybe Luna could link our dreams, and let us talk to them without putting ourselves in danger. We could talk to them, and try and talk some sense into them like you said, maybe even reform them.”
Whoa, this was some inception level stuff. Entering another creature’s dream to effectively plant an idea in their mind. Well, it was no more messed up than petrifying them, or sending a filly to Tartarus. Of course, it wouldn’t be quite like that. They would be aware of us from the get go after all. But still, it represented an interesting idea.
And Twilight did say “we”.
I quickly agreed to the idea. Twilight called Spike over and quickly wrote a few lines to Celestia to pass on to her sister. Spike still retains his ability to send messages to her by his flame breath. Although I discovered that like his big sister/mother figure, he has rather moved up in the world, having been made a friendship ambassador, primarily working with the dragons for the moment. I never figured Spike for a statesman, but as the passing years would show, he was very suited to it.
It was a couple nights later that our little experiment/psychological interview began. I found myself standing on the ethereal nebula-like road that wound its way around the dreamscape. All around me were various doors, each representing the dream of an individual. And standing before me was Luna. The alicorn smiled at me as I came to my senses. It was a little strange to see her without her crown, regalia or horseshoes, but it was her nonetheless. Standing beside her meanwhile, also without her crown, was Twilight.
“Excellent,” Luna said as I joined the two of them. “Now that you are both here we can begin.”
“How are we gonna do this?” I asked curiously. Twilight explained.
“Luna will help us locate the right dreams,” she explained, and then link them all together before connecting us. That way, all five of us will share the same dream, with Luna looking after things here.”
“Indeed,” Luna went on. “I shall see to it that, while you have a degree of control over the dream, our foes will not, and I will retain overall authority, including being able to wake up all of you if needed.”
This really was like Inception. We were already dreaming, but we would be going into a dream, whilst still dreaming ourselves. I wonder, would Luna give us a kick to wake us up?
Activating her magic, Luna began to browse through the many dreams that were present. It was nice to see her still looking after things here, even if Twilight now looked after the moon. While she was occupied with that, I took the opportunity to ask Twilight a question that had been bugging me since I arrived.
“Where’s your crown anyway, Twilight?” I asked. “I know you didn’t wear your old one much back when you were the Princess of Friendship, but I figured you’d wear your new one.” Twilight tittered adorably.
“Oh I do, Blade Star,” she replied. “I just haven’t integrated it into my dream projection. Another month or so and it should show up with my dream self.”
“I must confess,” Luna chimed in, turning to me. “That it took a conscious effort on my part to assume this form when dreaming. And prior to you and I meeting, your brief, unstable dreams portrayed you in your human form, although I’m sure you don’t remember it too clearly. Ah, here we are.”
Before Luna, three doors appeared. Two looked rather menacing, one having a black and green design, bearing the malign seal of the old Changeling state, while the other, built out of wrought iron, looked more like a jail cell than anything else, with two large horns embossed on the door front. The third, in contrast, resembled that which you’d expect to find in any family home in Equestria, being a soft pink covered in hearts. While the other two were unsettling, this third one seemed too sickly sweet.
Using her magic, Luna connected all three with a strand of white light, which occasionally sent pulses back and forth. A moment later, the alicorn briefly vanished, returning a moment later, along with a fourth door that stood before the other three.
“There,” she declared. “The link is established. Simply pass through this door, and you will enter the shared dream. You can leave by the same method, or I could pull you out if needed. I’m not sure what you hope to find though. These are three of the most evil and irredeemable beings I’ve ever encountered.”
“I remember Starswirl said something similar on the subject of Stygian,” I replied. Luna hesitated at that.
It was no secret now that she was retired that Luna had cultivated something of a relationship with the former Pony of Shadows. I was a little harsh towards my friend, but it demonstrated my point. In his former guise, Stygian was considered beyond redemption. Surely there had to be something or some way to do the same for these three. As Twilight opened the door, I turned and looked up at Luna, who remained off to the side.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean that,” I apologised. “I just want to try and understand the ‘why’ to these three. Call it part of my studies on dark magic.”
“You show a great deal of compassion, my little pony,” Luna replied with a small smile. “Just take care in there.”
With that, I followed Twilight into the shared dream.
Initially, there wasn’t much to see. It was as if we had stepped into a void. There was ground underfoot, air to breathe, and it was warm enough. But there were no visible boundaries, and the only light seemed to be coming from ourselves, since, despite the lack of light, I could easily see Twilight standing next to me.
Advancing a few steps, the world seemed to slide into focus. The blank void receded as we drew nearer. Underfoot, vegetation grew, the black emptiness gave way to blue skies, exotic palm trees, and the previous silence was replaced by a light wind and the sound of flowing water. You could even feel the heat as the two of us walked into some tropical landscape.
We were on a flat, grassy plateau, surrounded by palm trees and other exotic plants. Further ahead, there was a modest rocky outcropping. And it was here that we first saw our three interviewees. And their day was not going too well. Each had been hog-tied and was laying on their side. Connected to their bonds, along a length of rope, was a rock about the size of my barrel. And standing there, with one such boulder in claw, chatting not too amicably with Tirek, was Discord. Evidently, we weren’t the only ones to think of using a dream as a means of chatting with these three. Only with Discord, I doubt he was angling for reformation.
He was currently kneeling to be eye level with Tirek, and his lion paw was holding Tirek’s chin in place, forcing the centaur to look at him. The rock, and the rope attached to it, were dangling over an abyss. Far below, judging by the sound of water, there was a pool. Twilight and I stopped on the edge of the place, unsure of what Discord was doing. Reformed or not, when he is upset, this being, not too far from a god, is prone to violent temper tantrums.
“Did I ever tell you, Tirek,” Discord asked, his voice barely more than a whisper, yet still clearly angry beyond words. “The definition of insanity? Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting the result to change. You tried to steal Equestrian magic once, and Starswirl and your own brother stopped you. You broke out of Tartarus and tried again, and the ponies stopped you again. You conspired with a filly to destroy all magic, and you were stopped. And finally, even with power not too far behind my own, you still failed. No wonder your father saw you as a disappointment.”
Tirek said nothing in reply, his eyes seemingly glazed over. Discord released him a moment later, and moved on to Chrysalis.
“Chrysalis,” he continued. “Let’s see. You tried to steal love, nearly succeeded and then paused to sing. Then you flawlessly kidnapped all of Equestria’s heroes, and paused to gloat. You had the opportunity to do away with all of your foes once and for all, and instead just made cheap copies of them. And then, when given power beyond anything love could give you, you just take them all prisoner and gloat some more. Personally, I’d have learned to stop cackling until I was sure I’d won after the second time.”
Chrysalis just hissed in response. Her serpent like tongue flicking in and out and she glared daggers at the draconequus.
“And then we have Cozy,” Discord went on, picking the filly up in his magic and suspending him before her. “I must admit, I really do not get you. Why does a filly even want power? What were you going to do once there was no more magic left in the world? Why in Equestria would ponies follow you anyway? These two morons at least had some sort of fall to darkness and evil. You just seem to come screwed up straight out of your mother. Tell me why, Cozy, before I do away with you all for good.”
Okay, I’d seen enough to know where this was going, and so had Twilight too. With all the authority she could muster, she stepped into the scene, with me following behind.
“Discord! That’s enough!” she barked.
At that, the draconequus spun around, returning to his usual jocular self. It made his earlier actions even more unsettling. Particularly when he smiled a genuine smile at the two of us.
“Why, Twilight! Bones!” he exclaimed gleefully. “And here was me thinking I was the only one who thought to use dreams to practice enhanced interrogation techniques.”
“Discord, leave them alone!” Twilight ordered sternly.
“Don’t worry,” he said reassuringly. “You can have your turn just as soon as I’m done with them. Bones too. I’m sure you’d love to have a crack at Chrysalis here.”
“No,” Twilight said, putting herself between Discord and the trio of tied up villains. “They’ve been punished for their crimes. I’m not about to let you hurt them just for your own amusement.”
“Then what are you doing here?” Discord asked, folding his arms across his chest.
“We came here to talk to them.”
“Talk?!” Discord exclaimed.
“I want to try and understand them,” I explained. “Learn their motivations. Maybe even reform them.”
“Never!” Chrysalis snarled. “I will not surrender myself to such pitiful ideals! You may have twisted this foolish idiot, but you will not do the same to me. I will get out of here. I will break free. I will regain my kingdom. And then I will destroy you! All of you! In fact, since this is a dream, and I know that I’m dreaming, why don’t I do that right now?”
With that, Chrysalis suddenly transformed into the form she had when imbued with a portion of the bell’s magic. Breaking free from her bonds, she lunged towards us. At any other time, such as during our last meeting. I would have been terrified, and for a brief moment, I was. After all, when a six foot tall bug horse with fangs lunges at you, hissing like a demon, it’s hard not to. But she was mistaken in her thinking. Luna was controlling this dream, and we were just as lucid. Effectively, that made us evenly matched.
The former queen was soon joined by her former cohorts, who also dreamed themselves free of their bonds. Rushing past Discord, who was understandably unphased by their attack, all three charged at us. Twilight was suitably unimpressed.
Just before they could get to us, still leaping through the air, all three were encased in her lavender coloured aura and suspended in place, before quickly being returned to their true forms. Tirek and Cozy retreated back to their former frightened state. But again, Chrysalis remained defiant, screaming threats at the both of us. I figured she’d stop, but she kept it up, despite how hopeless her situation looked. Discord walked over to join us. He has a knack for scaring ponies if you ask me. The jocular chaos spirit can go full Silence of the Lambs when he wants to. And as I was about to see, his earlier scare tactics were peanuts to what came next.
He stood in front of Chrysalis, staring her dead in the face, his expression unreadable. He just kept his eyes locked on hers. Finally, after the intense stare had got the changeling rattled enough to be silent, he spoke.
“Nopony can hear you,” he said, in a plain, emotionless voice. “Nopony cares about you. Nothing will come of this.”
The now silent Chrysalis held his gaze for a few moments, but it was clear who would win the little battle of wills. In a way, it was more scary than the nightmare he was weaving for all three of them before. I’d never seen the changeling look truly scared before. A moment later, Discord turned away, his usual joking, care free attitude returning.
“There we go,” he said with a slightly sinister smile. “I think that should put them all in a more communicative mood.”
And with that, he snapped his talons and vanished, leaving Twilight and I alone with the villains. I’m not sure who was more scared; us or them.
I’d had the idea in my head of what I wanted to do; I wanted to understand why these three did what they did. What I didn’t know, however, was “how to start things?”. How do you ask someone why they are evil? So after Discord left, silence prevailed amongst our little group. We were like kids at a school disco, Twilight and me standing on one side and the three villains on the other, with neither side sure of what to do next. Even the dream landscape faded back to a void. Ultimately, it was Chrysalis who broke the silence. She always did seem to act as the leader of the trio.
“Are you planning to say anything to me, Twilight Sparkle?” she demanded coldly. “And why have you brought this other whelp with you?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” I said, trying to keep my voice from wavering. Dream or not, Chrysalis and Tirek were still plenty intimidating. The psychotic filly not so much, but you get the point. “I want to know why you did what you did.”
“We’re villains,” Cozy sneered. “It’s what we do.”
“But why?” The trio silently conferred for a moment before Tirek spoke up.
“Well, we’re bad; evil. Isn’t that reason enough?”
“You see yourselves as evil?” I asked curiously. This threw all my previous reasoning out the window.
“Of course we’re evil,” Chrysalis snarled, stalking over to me again. “Did the scary eyes, dark colours and sharp fangs not make that all clear?” I tried to rephrase my question.
“I see you as evil, sure,” I agreed. “But surely your own value system paints Twilight here as evil for opposing you.” Chrysalis let out a laugh.
“This little paragon of goodness,” she asked, gesturing to the alicorn. “She’s worse than Celestia on that front. There’s not an evil bone in her body.”
“So Twilight is good, and you are evil; that’s how you see yourselves?” Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
“I really don’t see what is so hard to comprehend,” she said crossly. “But evidently your pony mind is too feeble to understand.”
With that, she turned and strode away, her two former allies preparing to follow suit. I knew the hardest thing about this would be establishing rapport. But their responses just didn’t make sense to me. No ‘villain’ really thinks of themselves as a villain, right? Everyone is the hero of their own story, and yet these three quite happily and openly admitted that they were evil. Were they not so boastful about it, I would have attributed it to a defence mechanism. But they genuinely seemed to believe that they were evil. I tried one last time to try and dig down to the root of this conundrum.
“What was your plan anyway?” I called out to the trio. Chrysalis turned around.
“What?” she asked curiously.
“After you won,” I explained. “Say you had defeated Twilight and the others, what were you going to do next?”
“I would rule all Equestria,” the changeling boasted.
“Don’t you mean ‘we’?” Cozy piped up. Chrysalis just growled softly and sent a glare in the filly’s direction.
“But how?” I prodded. “What would you do? Stuff us all in cocoons? Were you going to try and retake your old throne? How were you going to stop the Windigoes? And what about your two ‘friends’?” Chrysalis said nothing. Twilight, seeing what I was driving at, asked the same of Tirek.
“What about you, Tirek?” she asked the centaur. “What would you have done if you had stolen all Equestria’s magic? When Starlight and I travelled to the past, in one of the alternate timelines, you were still blasting the land with your magic.”
“And you, Cozy?” I went on. “How were you planning to rule a world bereft of magic, and beset by out of control weather, no food, and half the country suddenly inaccessible?”
None of them said anything. Could it really be?
“You know, I figured Sombra was goading Twilight and the others when I heard how he just holed himself up in Canterlot. But after this, I’m starting to think none of you really had a plan at all. You just wanted to defeat Twilight and her friends.”
“That is what villains do, pony,” Tirek pointed out.
“How can you just casually refer to yourselves as villains though? I mean, take Chrysalis. You could argue her attack on Canterlot was just her trying to feed her hive.”
“No,” Chrysalis denied. “I knew that taking love from Equestria would make me more powerful than I’d ever been. True it would feed my army, but that was just a happy coincidence.”
“I was only ever out for power too, really,” Tirek agreed. “Ruling over ponies would be a lot of work, especially when they had no magic of their own.”
“I just wanted to be worshipped like any evil overlord,” Cozy said brightly, with a shrug of her shoulders.
Baffled, I stepped away for a moment to talk with Twilight.
“Well, this is weird,” I said once we were out of earshot. “I’m surprised they’re even talking to us to be honest. Do you think this is all just some kind of trick?”
“I don’t think so,” Twilight replied with a shake of her head. “It is fascinating though. I never thought that these three could give us so many insights.”
“Twilight!” I snapped. “They call themselves villains. They openly acknowledge that they’re evil. They have no idea what they’d do if they beat you beyond the act of winning. That makes no sense!” I looked back at the villainous trio, who were taking the opportunity granted by the lucid dream to entertain themselves. “Hang on, I want to try something.”
Leaving Twilight behind for a moment, I walked over to the three of them.
“You three understand the concept of friendship, right?” I asked.
“I spent a whole year studying it,” Cozy boasted proudly.
“And we almost got suckered into it up on Mount Everhoof,” Tirek added
“Don’t remind me,” Chrysalis agreed sneeringly.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
And so, the trio explained. Under orders from Grogar, they scaled Mount Everhoof to get the bell. Working alone, none of them could overcome the defences. But by working together, they could. The final obstacle to overcome was a magical shield protecting the cave the bell was hidden in. None of them had enough power to break it, but if Tirek had more magic, he could make a hole big enough for Cozy to fly through. That meant Chrysalis had to give up her magic. After they got the bell, Tirek considered keeping Chrysalis’ magic, but ultimately chose to return it, and the three realised for one brief moment the magic of friendship. But, as before, they rejected it a moment later, Chrysalis in particular. It baffled me. I understood her throwing Starlight’s offer back in her face; that was pride. But I couldn’t wrap my head around how they could ignore it then and there. Even the most self-interested villain had to see the advantages. I tried one last time to get through to them.
“So even after that experience,” I asked. “You still see friendship as a bad thing?”
“No, it’s a good thing. We’re bad,” Chrysalis responded.
I’d had all sorts of expectations coming into this, and I figured by the end, I’d have a better understanding of how these three thought. I knew it wouldn’t be a pleasant experience, but I wanted to gain some insight. It was only now that I saw how little there was to gain. These three were genuinely evil, for the sake of it. They were not people seeing the world from their own point of view. They understood right from wrong and consciously chose wrong, understanding that it was wrong. They were villains who knew that they were villains. Their goals of conquest were just that; conquest and nothing more. They were like...like dogs chasing the post van; they’d have no idea what to do if they caught it.
The whole thing raised more questions than it answered. It certainly made one thing clear. In Equestria, unlike Earth, there was such a thing as pure evil.
There was nothing to learn from them, no alternative point of view. There was certainly no hope of reforming them, which actually saddened me more than I care to admit. Whatever else I might say about them, Chrysalis in particular, it would have been nice to find some way to turn them around, even if it was just to make them like Discord; a barely trustable ex-villain who you could never be entirely sure which side he was on. But with Discord, at least there was something to work with. He was chaotic, rather than outright evil. He acted the way he did out of boredom and for his own amusement. When Fluttershy first reached out to him, it sparked something good in him that made him that irrepressible Q stand in we have today. You could say the same out of any reformed villains, from Trixie right up to Stygian. These three though, there was nothing to build on; the very basics were missing.
With little else to gain, Twilight and I left, returning to the dream realm with Luna and returning to the waking world not too long after. It had been a strange experience. I’d doubted that I’d be able to make much progress on any of them in just one encounter. And I knew it was pretty naive and egotistical of me to assume I could reform any of them. But I never thought I’d be so utterly stumped. Even Twilight was surprised when she learned of their motivations.
And so the one time Legion of Doom would remain forever incarcerated as statues, trapped together forever, as villains. Despite everything, I couldn’t help but feel a little depressed about that.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
And so comes the conclusion to the first two parter chapter I've done in quite a while. I originally planned to do this entire story with each chapter covering a month, but my proofreader suggested I break it up due to length.
I have to admit I was kinda saddened that we didn't see any reformation for the villains, particularly Chrysalis. I'd have loved to see her in a role where nopony is quite sure whether she's on their side or not, somewhat like Discord, but without the comedy. But I decided to stick with the canon established in the show; the villains are evil, know their evil, and consciously choose to be evil, even when it isn't in their own interest.
Anyway, next week comes the last chapter as we move onto December and Hearth's Warming Eve.
“Listen, AJ,” I said, keeping my voice low. “Do you hear that?”
Applejack, standing beside me, shot a perplexed look.
“Er...hear what, sugarcube?” she asked curiously. “I don’t hear anythin’, except for a few ponies.”
“Exactly!” I said with a slightly off putting grin. “Nothing! It’s December 1, and I can’t hear any music.”
Applejack and I were currently standing in the entrance of Barnyard Bargains. With the end of the harvest and cider season, we were now bracing ourselves for winter, and chief amongst our concerns was ensuring we had a good full pantry. Of course, the majority of the essentials we had already. From the farms crops we had fresh fruit and vegetables, along with a good supply of milk, cheese and eggs, grain, preserves,, not to mention plenty of firewood. But there were a few things that required a trip to the market for, mostly little luxuries, as well as essentials like toiletries. Granny usually went out shopping once a week, either her or Applejack. But with winter upon us, we always tended to have one big shop to stock up on everything, just in case the weather was heavier than it was supposed to be. It never hurts to be prepared. It was as we’d stepped into the store that I’d, with much joy, noticed the subtle difference between Equestria and Earth.
“Why would anypony be playin’ music in here?” Applejack asked. I shook myself out of my reprieve.
“Sorry, AJ,” I said. “Just an Earth thing. Back home, in stores like this, by now everythin’ would be decked out for our version of Hearth’s Warming Eve, and they’d have speakers playing the same twelve songs on a loop.”
“Hearth’s Warming Eve is almost a month away. Wouldn’t it get a mite tedious hearin’ those songs over and over?”
“Just a touch,” I replied with a grin.
“Then why did folks do it?” I shrugged my shoulders as we started to make our way through the aisles.
“To get folks in the spirit of things, I suppose. Get them thinkin’ about buyin’ stuff for Christmas. It wasn’t just annoying though. Playing those songs that you only hear at Christmas for two months of the year kinda took away...some of the magic I suppose, some of the excitement of Christmas. My family didn’t put up any decorations until the week before. But some of our neighbours would have all their lights and tree set up as soon as December rolled around.”
“Well, luckily for you, Bones,” AJ said with a smile as she grabbed something or other from our list. “Equestria ain’t like that. Hearth’s Warming decorations go up when it’s time, not a month before.”
“Just another reason I love it here,” I said, before adding, with a coy smile. “Well, that and you.”
Applejack chuckled at that.
“Dang, Bones! That was cheesy. Even for one of Rarity’s romance novels.”
We slowly continued to wind our way around the store. It was one of the few things that really reminded me of Earth. Equestria has a fair bit of overlap, but often there’s differences. But shopping at the supermarket was pretty much the same, apart from the happy absence of looping music that no doubt drove the entire staff slowly crazy over the years. Just like anywhere else, you got a cart, worked your way around and then paid for everything at the checkout.
By the time we were done about twenty five minutes later, we’d got quite a bit of stuff, a mixture of essentials, and a few luxuries. We certainly wouldn’t have any trouble seeing ourselves through to spring. Heck, the snow could stay until March like it did back in the 60’s and we’d still have more than enough to get by. After settling up, we loaded everything into the cart I brought along with us. We had way too much to carry back on our own. And of course, as the stallion in the relationship, I had the job of pulling said cart.
The air was decidedly chilly as we walked through Ponyville. We’d had the odd frosty night, but this was the first real cold snap of the winter. It wouldn’t be too long now before the snow came. There were still a few things on the farm we needed to do before that. Once the snow came down, it would make work difficult, to the point that the farm more or less shut down entirely, apart from the market stall and keeping an eye out for pests in the orchards. The big thing to do was to get the trees all prepared, raking the mulch back away from them and fitting the trunk guards to protect their bark from getting nibbled over the winter months when other food was scarce.
Before all that though, Applejack and I had another job that needed seeing to. It was just getting up to three in the afternoon now, and the school would be letting out. Neither of us had any classes at the School of Friendship today, although I had one tomorrow. We were all just watching the calendar for the 20th, which was when school would break up for the winter holidays. And right now, I imagine Apple Bloom was doing the same as the school day drew to a close. Given that it was getting dark at around half past four now, AJ had made it clear to her little sister that she wasn’t to walk home unaccompanied. Not that there was anything dangerous in Ponyville, but it kept the honest mare happy and her more obsessively protective side in check, so we all acquiesced. Since the two of us were already in town, it made sense to pick her up on the way home.
We arrived at the schoolhouse just as the bell was ringing out the end of the day. Fouls scampered out, followed by Cheerilee and my mum, who helps her out with teaching duties. Apple Bloom was, as ever, with her fellow Crusaders. She quickly picked the two of us out from the crowd of parents. We weren’t exactly easy to miss considering I was hooked up to a cart and all.
“Hey there, Apple Bloom. How was school?” Applejack asked as the filly raced over to us.
“Okay, I guess,” she said, sounding fairly glad to be shot of the place. “But Miss Cheerilee gave us tonnes of math homework to do for next week.”
“Oh, I’m sure Big Mac will be able to help you if you get stuck, AB,” I assured her. Maths is far from my and AJ’s strong suit, whereas Mac is a real genius with numbers.
“And I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to do it all over the weekend,” AJ added. “Now come on. Let’s get you home.”
As the last of the kids streamed out, Cheerilee and my mum appeared at the schoolhouse door. It had been a while since we’d last spoke, so I peeled off.
“You go on ahead, Applejack,” I said, briefly unhitching myself from the cart. “I want to talk with my mom for bit. I’ll bring all the stuff from the store home as soon as I can.”
“Fair enough, Bones,” AJ agreed. “Just make sure you’re back in time to help Big Mac with the trunk guards.”
“I will,” I promised.
With that, the two sisters departed, while I trotted over to the two teachers. Mum spotted me soon enough. There were a few other parents about, chatting with her and Cheerilee. Excusing herself from the little gaggle, she walked over to meet me.
“Hello you,” she said with a smile as I propped myself up on my hind legs to hug her. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, not too bad,” I replied as I dropped down back onto all fours. “We’re all gettin’ ready to prepare the farm for winter. Me and AJ went around Barnyard Bargains just before we got here to pick up supplies.” I indicated the fully loaded cart. Mum let out a low whistle.
“I know they’re saying the winter’s going to be a bit harsher this year,” she said. “But you look like you’ve got enough to invade France with that lot.” I chuckled.
“Just in case we do get snowed in,” I explained. “And that’s rich for the woman who bought Bovril and powdered milk every December.”
“I still can’t believe ponies don’t have that stuff,” Mum said to herself, shaking her head.
“Probably has something to do with the fact that it comes from beef,” I pointed out. “That and it tastes horrid.”
“It does not!” she shot back hotly. “That stuff saw your grandparents through the wars and me and your father through the miners strikes. There’s no better way to stay warm on a Thursday when you had the rolling blackout and the central heating was off.”
“Still doesn’t mean it tastes any good,” I pointed out teasingly. “Anyway, what have you and Dad been up to anyway?”
“Your father’s been able to relax a bit at last. Now that Twilight’s been in the job a few months, things have finally started to settle down. It was nice of you and the others to go up and see her by the way. As for me, the school’s been chugging along pretty well. Honestly, at times I kinda miss when the class was more unruly. But there’ll be a new lot of foals arriving in September, so I’m sure me and Cheerilee will be kept plenty busy. I tell you, Bones, coming here’s really helped me rediscover why I got into teaching in the first place.”
“You sure seem a lot happier these days,” I agreed. True, Mum was never really unhappy in her retirement back on Earth, but teaching again really does seem to have made her happier. You could say the same thing about me and my line of work, something I never figured I’d ever get involved in.
The two of us stayed and chatted a little while longer. Mum does love to prattle on in a friendly way. Eventually, Cheerilee trotted over to ask her to help with locking up for the day, and I needed to get the shopping back to the farm anyway, so the two of us parted ways.
Leaving the school, and Ponyville, behind, I started along the track back to Sweet Apple Acres. Honestly, at this point, I could probably find my way blindfolded. In fact, on a few days last month, I had to almost do that on the way to the market, finding my way through thick ground fog that Rainbow and the other pegasi hadn’t yet cleared up.
Speaking of pegasi, it was than that I found myself running into another family member as two pegasi passed gracefully overhead. As they wheeled around and glided down to land in front of me, I saw that it was Fluttershy and Lizzie. I was running into everypony today it seemed.
“Hi Lizzie. Hey, Fluttershy,” I called out as they landed.
“Thought that was you, Bones,” Lizzie said as she folded up her wings. “What’s with the cart?”
“Supplies for the winter,” I explained. “In case we get any really heavy snow or we need to stretch our supplies.”
“Yeah, me and Fluttershy are doing the same,” Lizzie agreed. “Half the cottage is full of animal feed at the moment, never mind Sweet Feather Sanctuary. The two of us are going to be pretty busy next week helping some of the animals hibernate.”
“I suppose it’s a pretty similar situation on Sweet Apple Acres,” Fluttershy added. “I mean, the trees pretty much go into hibernation every year, don’t they?”
“Pretty much,” I said with a nod. “Me and Big Macintosh are startin’ to put the protective guards round the tree trunks now to stop critters from eatin’ the bark. Plus we’re gonna be cuttin’ a few down for firewood too.”
“Smart,” Lizzie said sagely. “I took a peek at the weather schedule for Hearth’s Warming Eve; the snow’s supposed to come down pretty thick a little before then, and it’ll drop well below freezing most nights until early January.”
“You and the rest of the Weather Patrol must be pretty busy getting ready for that,” I commented. “How’s Dewdrop coping with things?”
“Well enough,” she said, with a hint of pride. “He’s really improved himself this past year. We’ve even set a date in the new year for me to move into his place, although Celestia knows I’m going to miss being with Fluttershy, and I won’t be able to help out as often.”
“It’s okay, Lizzie,” Fluttershy said in that maternal way of hers. “Discord has offered to help me with a lot of my chores after you move out. He really wants to make up for what happened with the bell and everything. He’s really been a big help since he moved in full time.”
That was an interesting little titbit of news. Apart from Spike and his crush on Rarity (although word has it that ship has sailed now, much to Rarity’s surprise), Discord’s crush Fluttershy was the most obvious example of pinning in all Equestria. Discord likes to keep up this image of being above such things, and once threatened to turn my dad into a flying pig if he ever told anyone about it, but quite a few ponies, and humans, are in on the secret now. In fact, the only two who don’t seem to be aware of it are Fluttershy and Discord. The latter, as I said, denies that such a thing even exists, while Fluttershy, given her nature, is unwilling to make the first move. So for the past year or so, the pair have been dancing around the issue. Even Angel knows about it at this point. But Discord asking to move in with Fluttershy, regardless of what flimsy pretext he might use to disguise it, did mark a step in the right direction. Truth be told the pair did make a cute couple, in an odd sort of way. Heck, if Maud and Mudbriar can work, I see no reason with Fluttershy and Discord can’t. With any luck, the two will rub off on each other. Fluttershy has already greatly helped Discord improve himself, discovering friendship, learning to control his temper, and hopefully convincing him to lay off the crazy, if well-intentioned plans he comes up with to ‘help’ from time to time. For Discord’s part, he’s played no small role in helping Fluttershy gain confidence in herself, become more forthright and willing to speak up, and in general become a more well rounded pony, while not forcing her away from her introverted roots.
“Well, I’m sure it’ll be nice having some company, aside from Angel, of course. And his chaos magic, properly used, should really help with taking care of all those animals.” I chuckled to myself. “Discord sure has changed since you guys first ran into him.”
In hindsight, I shouldn’t have said that, as evidenced by the signature whooshing sound and bright light behind me, as Discord teleported in.
“Changed? Me?” he exclaimed, before softening a moment later and putting a pondering claw to his chin. “Well, I suppose Fluttershy has made me a teensy bit nicer these past few years, although I do miss the chocolate milk rain.”
“Hello, Discord,” Fluttershy said sweetly, instantly catching his attention.
“Oh, hello there, Fluttershy. And dear Elisabeth too. How wonderful to see you.”
“Hi, Discord,” Lizzie said. Despite living with Fluttershy, she’s always understandably been a little uneasy around Discord. “What brings you here?”
“Well, apart from protecting my good name from being besmirched,” he remarked, sending a faux glare my way. “I just dropped by to ask you about a gift for Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
That was probably a good idea, given how last year he manipulated Rainbow into getting Fluttershy an adorable little creature for her present, that turned into a terrifying monster come nightfall, just so Fluttershy could be the one to save the day by putting it in its place; his gift to her.
Speaking of gifts though, it was time to start thinking about all that. One of the few downsides about living in Equestria is that I have far more birthdays to remember, and far more presents to buy. Back on Earth, it was just me, Mum and Dad, and Lizzie. Pretty much all my other relatives were gone before I got through half of high school. It meant a lot of shopping and a fair kick in my coffers. But more to the point, I had all these supplies to haul back to the farm. So, since Discord was happily chatting with Lizzie and Fluttershy, I politely excused myself and headed back home to get everything squared away.
While Hearth’s Warming Eve is nowhere near as capitalist based as Christmas has become, gift giving is still a major part of the holiday. After all, what better way is there to show goodwill and friendship? In total, I had to buy eight presents; one for each of the Apples and one each for my own family members. Luckily, for the most part, they are easy to shop for, and Ponyville, despite its size, has plenty of shops that would provide. My first stop was the toy store to shop for Apple Bloom. She’d been having a bit of trouble sleeping the past few months; understandable considering all the upheaval, so I figured a nice stuffed animal would make for a good present. The store had plenty to offer and I soon found a wonderful little rabbit for her. Given her love for stories of El-ahrairah, it seemed fitting. Better yet, I found a good tennis ball in the sports section for Winona. Like all collies, she would play fetch with this until time stopped and never get bored of it.
Next up was Big Mac, and Sugar Belle of course. Given how I’m not exactly flush with cash, I hoped that the newest addition to the family wouldn’t mind a joint present to share with her husband. For them, I made for the small art gallery on the edge of town, where that guard...Spearhead, I think, had exhibited his work a while back. A good many pieces are for sale for reasonable enough prices, but better yet, the gallery would work as a go between for commissions. The director of the gallery had introduced me to a great landscape artist who had done a beautiful impressionist piece, based on a photograph of the farm at sunset. I’ve always loved the red and gold colours of the autumn, and this piece brought them out beautifully. If Mac and Sugar Belle did move out to a place in town, I hoped it would make for a nice house warming gift.
Then there was Granny. Of all the Apples, I’d say she is the easiest to shop for. The old mare loves her cooking, and while she objects to using too much modern technology in the kitchen, she doesn’t mind the odd new piece of kit from time to time. But as well as that, she always likes to try new recipes come dinner time, and what is newer than recipes from another world? Among many of the books that ultimately joined us here from Earth, there were a couple Nigella Lawson cookbooks, and while Granny may already be a domestic goddess, I’m sure she’d enjoy trying out something new.
Then there was Applejack. If her grandmother is the easiest to shop for, AJ is the hardest. Given how she so often puts others first ahead of herself and is willing to overlook her own wants for the good of the farm, it’s hard to choose a gift, more so considering that this was coming from her coltfriend. I’d asked her the month before if there was anything she had her eye on, but she’d just shrugged her shoulders and said there wasn’t anything she really wanted. I’m just as bad of course. When I was a kid it was easier. If you bought me something train, Thunderbirds, or Captain Scarlet related, I was happy. Nowadays though, there’s not really much I need. Books are your best bet and I’d hinted at a couple as gift ideas.
But with AJ, even that was out of the question. The usual mare stuff; chocolates, perfumes, clothes, were out, and there was no way I was going to just give her some bits. I considered something hat related, but given how much that hat means to her, I doubt she’d want to change anything about it, nor go about in a new one. The idea finally popped into my head a couple weeks later.
Now, I’m not the most photogenic person. As a pony, I’m by no means unattractive, nor was I that bad looking as a human. I was a far cry from winning the genetic lottery, but I hadn’t completely lucked out either. But, like a lot of kids, I didn’t exactly like myself, and to this day, I remain uncomfortable having my photo taken. Apart from passport and driving license photos, both of which look like something you’d expect to see on Crimewatch, you won’t find much of me beyond about twelve.
And truth be told, I’m still like that now. I’d much rather be the one holding the camera than the one standing in front of it. It probably has something to do with the fact that I can’t smile too well. I do smile, in fact AJ’s told me one of the things she likes most about me is my smile, but I can’t just will it onto my face. If I try to smile on command, I end up with a smile that looks like someone described a smile to a friend on a very bad phone line in French. And that’s the smile I end up with on photos. The other option is, of course, my normal face, but given that I often suffer from the male version of resting bitch face, that doesn’t make for a good pic either. So I still tend to avoid being in photos.
But there have been a few occasions where the planets have aligned and I managed to take a good picture. The most recent was actually taken by Apple Bloom of all ponies. A few months ago, she’d had to do some school project for art class by trying to replicate a photograph of something. While she’d been snapping pictures of birds, apple trees, and her friends, she’d come across Applejack and I. We’d spent the whole day helping Mac out with seeding some of the fields. It was hard work and by the time AB found us that warm, sunny afternoon, we were both exhausted. The two of us were resting under the shade of an apple tree, the two of us propped up against the trunk, with Applejack resting against my side, and me having thrown a foreleg round her. Apple Bloom, mainly wanting to embarrass her big sister by snapping a candid of her and her then new coltfriend, managed to take a great little picture of the two of us. I still remember that day fondly. The two of us were exhausted, but I don’t think I’d ever felt so close to her as I had at that moment. It remains one of my happiest memories, alongside the day I climbed to the top of Watership Down with my dad, and the day I flew a Spitfire out of Biggin Hill.
What better gift could I give than a reminder of that happy day? Borrowing the negative from Apple Bloom, who thankfully still had it knocking around somewhere in her room, I got a decent 3x5 photo developed. From there, I went into the barn and set to work with the woodworking tools to fashion out a simple frame and glass insert. It took me a couple attempts to get it all right, but by the end, I had a pretty professional looking photo frame, with a lovely photo of the two of us.
Now I just had to think about cards…
While Hearth’s Warming Eve was something to think about, with presents, cards, visiting relatives, decorations, and great food, work on the farm still took precedent. The apple trees were now bare of fruit and leaves. The fields had no crops to harvest, and in general, the farm had slipped into the character of a place at rest. The hustle and bustle of Applebuck Season was long gone, the green leaves of the high summer were now nought but mulch, and the beautiful spring blossoms were only a distant memory.
There was some harvesting to be done however. In contrast to some trees like oak, which live for centuries, apple trees don’t live that long, less so when their crop yield is so vital. Typically, a tree on Sweet Apple Acres will last for six or seven years at most. From there, it is cut down and replaced with new saplings from the nursery, just as we had done after that bad storm in the spring. That was what we had to do now. Applejack, Big Mac, and I had toured the farm, examining all the trees, noting down which ones had provided a poor crop this year, or any which showed signs of sickness or disease. Any that did were now marked with a white chalk ‘X’ denoting that they were to be cut down. I always felt a little sad doing this, just as some farmers on Earth did when they sent their cattle and sheep to the slaughterhouse. But it was a necessary thing. After all, we depended on a high crop yield to make enough money to see us through the year. We simply couldn’t afford to keep trees that were no longer able to pull their weight. And it wasn’t as if they’d go to waste either. As before, the felled trees would be chopped up into firewood, and sold to Burnt Oak for a tidy profit. Those trees would help keep many a pony warm through the winter, just as they had fed many in a previous life.
The work was pretty labour intensive. At least with that bad storm, we didn’t have to do too much work felling the trees. But now, Big Mac and I had to go to it with saw and wedges. The upside though was that, because of that storm, a good many of the trees that we would be looking to cut down now had already been felled. Across the entire farm, we were only looking to chop down around a dozen or so. Cutting them down and turning them into firewood would most likely take the better part of a week.
The two of us got to it first thing in the morning, as soon as there was enough light to see by. Stopping by the barn, we both stocked up on axes, saws, wedges and mails. The first tree was a ways off up in the northern orchard; quite a ways away from the house, and not too far from the Crusaders clubhouse. Applejack was keeping an eye on Apple Bloom, since school had now broken up for the holidays, and was making sure she didn’t go wandering over to where Mac and I were working. Tree felling is dangerous at the best of times, and no place for a filly, no matter how long she’s lived on a working farm. Luckily, she still had Winona to play with.
We found the tree easily enough. Apart from the white cross marking it, it stood out from its neighbouring companions by virtue of not having a protective trunk guard fastened around it. First things first, plan things out.
“Okay, how do you wanna do this, Mac?” I asked, deferring to the older and more experienced stallion.
“I reckon if we cut the notch so that it falls to the east, it should keep clear of the other trees and give us enough room to work,” he said, after walking around the tree a couple times.
The notch was a modest chunk of the tree which was cut away first in a wedge shape. The idea was that you cut it along the side you wanted the tree to fall, and then once you sawed your way through the trunk, physics would ensure that the tree would fall roughly in that direction. It gave us some control and helped reduce the risk of damaging other trees as it came down. Trees can be deceptively tall when you look at them. They seem quite short stood upright, but once they’re felled, they can seem quite a lot larger, so it was important to ensure that this one would fall well away from it neighbours. In any case, Big Mac’s suggestion was sound.
“Alright,” I said, grabbing a couple of axes. “I’m just gonna pull away those loose branches up near the top. The wood looks dead enough.”
Loose branches could be a killer, hence why the two of us were wearing hard hats today. But even with them, a falling branch, from sufficient height, could still do serious damage. So before we did anything that might jostle them loose, it was smarter to remove them outright. Were this Earth, and I not a unicorn, this would mean either climbing, or fetching a cherry picker. But with my magic, I was able to gently prise the branches off without too much trouble and gently float them to the ground.
With that done, Mac set to work with the axe, making the top cut in the notch first, while I kept lookout, just in case there were any other loose branches we’d missed. Before too long, between axe and saw, Mac had cut a decent wedge away, causing a chunk of wood a little larger than a doorstop to drop from the trunk. We now moved around to the other side and began cutting the felling cut. As with the notch, Mac first used an axe to make the initial cut, before going at it with the saw, and once he was a fair way in, I hammered in a couple of wedges to stop the saw getting pinched as the tree swayed on its ever more precarious perch. It was hard going with manual saws, and while ponies do have internal combustion engines, they’re still much too large to create something like a chainsaw. So instead, we took turns sawing away at the tree, giving each other a bit of rest. It was while I was on one of my stints, and we were nearing the notch cut, that we finally got a result.
As I was sawing away, I began to hear the sound of wood splintering. It started as just a crackle, but soon kicked up into a right racket. Mac heard it too and promptly called out a warning.
“Timber!” he bellowed in his trademark baritone.
With that, and one final crack, the trunk gave way and the tree went hurtling to the ground, landing with a terrific crash. After that, the dust settled and there was silence again. Mac seemed satisfied. The tree had fallen where we’d wanted it to and we could now work on cutting it up. We spent the rest of the morning cutting away the branches, starting at the top and working our way down, before using a two handed saw to cut the trunk into modest sixteen inch pieces that could then be cut up for firewood by Burnt Oak. And by early afternoon, we were pulling the stump out and ensuring all the roots had been pulled up. The new tree wouldn’t be planted until spring. Putting a sapling out now would most likely mean that it wouldn’t survive the winter, so it would instead remain in the nursery until better weather prevailed. Instead, Mac went and fetched the wagon from the barn, and we loaded up the firewood to take back and store in the barn to dry out.
The rest of the week was spent doing more or less the same thing; working our way around the farm, finding the trees that had been marked for felling and turning them into firewood. Before too long, a good portion of the barn was filled up, and while most of it would go up for sale, supplementing our other winter incomes like eggs from the hens, milk from the cattle and so forth, a good portion would be kept for ourselves. It was getting pretty chilly as it was. Working our way through the last few trees, despite the hard work helping to keep us both warm, I still found myself needing a scarf to stave off the cold. And any day now, we were expecting the first snowfall. The skies had been mostly grey and overcast for several days.
Tonight though, based on what Lizzie told me when I ran into her and Mum in town, we were due for the first real frost. The sky was going to clear up later this afternoon, and then the temperature was due to drop well below freezing. We’d certainly be glad for the firewood, but at the same time, the clear night after a long spell of overcast weather, would let me indulge in one of my hobbies; stargazing.
Even back on Earth, I had an amateur interest in the night sky. Dad had bought me a modest telescope for Christmas one year and a couple star maps. Cold clear nights were perfect for stargazing as the ‘seeing’ was better due to the prevailing atmospheric conditions. The cold weather made everything that much clearer to see. Plus, with the moon currently only a waxing crescent in the run up to Hearth’s Warming Eve, it wouldn’t be giving off too much light either, so even the dimmest stars would be visible.
So, that night, after a pipping hot supper that warmed us all through, I fetched out my telescope (again a Christmas, or rather Hearth’s Warming present, though from Twilight in this case) and set myself up on a small hill a stone’s throw away from the house. I was far enough away that the lights from within wouldn’t cause any problems with viewing, but not so far away that it was a trek to secure another cup of coffee. While the seeing might be good, it was still nonetheless biting cold, and I was certainly glad for my scarf and thickened winter hide.
The stars are pretty much the same as they are back on Earth, something that continues to baffle me, as I know for a fact that we definitely aren’t on Earth. The planet on which Equestria resides is virtually identical in pretty much all respects, but the radically different continents, prevalence of non-existent species, to say nothing of magic have me convinced that this isn’t Earth in some distant past or future. At the same time though, this planet must sit at least within the same galaxy, although I have never been able to locate anything even resembling Earth, or any other nearby planets for that matter; no Mercury, Mars, Venus or Saturn can be seen in this night sky.
What you can see though, is pretty much all the constellations you’d expect to find in the northern hemisphere. Orion’s Belt, The Big Dipper, Ursa Minor, and even the Pole Star for navigation are all visible on a good clear night, and with the cold weather, it was as if the sky had been littered with millions of tiny diamonds. The Moon too, even as a waxing crescent, was something to see. Unlike the stars, it was however quite different to Earth’s moon. The craters were noticeably different, with no Sea of Tranquillity for instance, to say nothing of the image of the Mare in the Moon that once marred its landscape. I found myself wondering if ponies would ever go there. The notion of space flight existed only as science fiction really, with a sort of Dan Dare style to it, and unlike humans, ponies do not have that inbuilt desire to explore and push boundaries.
Still, the natural satellite was lovely thing to view, and easier too, considering that Equestria’s moon was much larger apparently than Earth’s. At times when full, it could give me Majora’s Mask flashbacks. I continued to meander around the heavens, looking to see if I could catch a glimpse of anything that could be a planet, searching for anything that twinkled in the sky. I was just turning to examine the constellation of Lyra, when I heard a small voice close at hoof.
“Hey, Bones,” Apple Bloom said, prompting me to look up from the eyepiece. “What are y’all doin’ out here? It’s freezin’!” I chuckled at that. Apple Bloom herself was decked out in full winter kit, no doubt by order of either Granny, or much more likely, AJ.
“Cold nights are the best time for stargazin’, Apple Bloom,” I explained, gesturing to the sky above.
Apple Bloom had been so embittered by the cold, that she hadn’t thought to look up. When she did, she let out a gasp. No matter how long you live in dark sky territory, I don’t think anyone could ever get tired of looking up at the night sky.
“It’s amazin’!” she said, in a slightly hushed voice. Smiling to myself, I lowered the stand on the telescope to better suit a filly of her stature.
“Here, why don’t you take a look?” I suggested.
I ended up spending the next fifteen minutes showing her a few of the constellations and a bit of the moon. Ironically, Granny Smith had sent her to fetch me in, as it was getting pretty late. Apple Bloom had her own telescope, of sorts, set up in the Crusaders’ clubhouse. But it was nowhere near as powerful as this, and they used it more for...actually, I’m not sure what they used it for. More to the point, it always seemed to be at a very shallow angle. I suppose they use it more as a lookout than anything else. Maybe tomorrow I could take a look and see if it would be any good for stargazing in the warmer months when she and her friends had sleepovers out there.
In any case, the little filly was fascinated by the cosmos. I’d shown her and her friends a bit before, sure, but I couldn’t recall a night in quite a long time when they sky was this clear and the seeing was this good. I’d never seen it so clear on Earth, outside of those high end photos taken in the Arctic Circle. Eventually, Apple Bloom looked up from the eyepiece. I’d continued to look up myself, craning my neck skyward the whole time, utilising the somewhat less powerful, but just as reliable Mk. I Eyeball. Looking up at it all, it was very easy to fall into introspection and get lost in thought. Luckily, the temperature, which was now dropping by the second, and a more tired Apple Bloom helped rouse me.
“What are you thinking about, Bones?” she asked me, yawning adorably.
“How everything is made of the same stuff,” I replied wistfully. “How Carbon makes up everything from those stars, to barns, to skyscrapers, to steam engines, and how we’re looking up at a sky that existed millions and billions of years ago.”
That, of course, threw the youngster for a loop, and I ended up explaining the whole speed of light deal to her, and how, because of how far the light had to travel, the stars that originally gave off that light, had more than likely ceased to exist quite some time ago.
I think I gave her a bit of an existential crisis.
Luckily for her, as we’d both been out for so long, Applejack came looking for the both of us, promptly chastised me for letting Apple Bloom stay out in the freezing cold, and all but herded us back into the warm house and stuck her little sister in front of the fire to warm up again. To be fair, it was getting pretty late, and I was certainly glad for a warm cup of hot chocolate. It’s one of Granny’s specialities. She uses milk taken from the cattle at night (once a week, Mac or I stay up late to do it), so it contains a high amount of melatonin. The idea is the calf wakes up in the night, nurses, and the milk helps it fall back asleep. After all, it wasn’t as if I was going to have a pot of coffee to warm myself up at half ten at night.
Not too long later, and we were all getting ready to go to bed. The house was plenty warm, although the fire was now dying down, with only a few faint embers still burning behind the guard. Apple Bloom however, was propped up on the windowsill still stargazing. Until now, it had been a perfectly clear night, with not a cloud in the sky. But that was all set to change.
I was just beginning to doze in an armchair and thinking about heading to bed, when Apple Bloom roused me and everypony else.
“Hey, where’d the stars all go?” she said curiously.
Looking up, I saw that the previously glittering night sky had indeed vanished, replaced by an unbroken inky blankness of an overcast night. There was no way that clouds could move in that fast on their own; it had to be the Weather Patrol at work. I knew that they were working on kick starting winter soon, but I was surprised that they were still up and about so late at night. I was just about to get up and take a look for myself, when Big Mac beat me to it.
“Look!” he exclaimed gleefully; a rare sight to see from the normal reserved stallion.
We all rushed over to the window, with Winona and Apple Bloom propping themselves up on the windowsill. There wasn’t much to see. The clouds had blotted out the moon and stars, but the light from the house gave just enough illumination to see what was happening. It was only very fine at first, but falling softly from the sky, were snowflakes. It was snowing.
To my mind, you know you’re an adult when you look outside, see snow falling, and gripe about how hard it’ll be to get to work tomorrow. When you’re a kid, snow means a chance of no school (unless you were me, in which case your mum drove you in even if the school bus didn’t come, and you spent all day doing pointless busy work), snowball fights, sledding, and making snowmen. Luckily, for me, life in Equestria seems to have reversed the process, and I was just as excited to see the snow as Apple Bloom was.
Before too long, the gentle falling of the first few flakes intensified. The flakes slowly grew larger and more numerous. Against the light, they glittered just as the stars had done. It reawakened a childlike joy in me; memories of Christmastime in my childhood, putting up the tree and decorations, getting excited waiting for Father Christmas, and the joy of waking up the following morning to find myself with plenty of new toys. On the other hoof, it also reminded me of dear little Snowdrop...that poor, sweet little filly who created the first snowflake. Here in Equestria, each was an individual work of art, crafted by hoof, still based on her original creations, though according to Celestia, none could ever shimmer, glitter, twinkle, or sing like those originals had.
But let us put such bittersweet thoughts aside, the fact of the matter was that it was snowing. And before too long, it had whipped up into a flurry. Not ten minutes after it started, and there was already a fine layer of white on the ground. It was sticking.
Apple Bloom went to bed that night eager to see what it would all look like tomorrow. The rest of us stayed up a little longer. Applejack threw a few more logs on the fire to keep it going through the night. The frosty clear nights were cold enough, but snow would mean that the fire would need to keep going pretty much all day and all night to keep the farmhouse warm.
The following morning, I took advantage of a rare opportunity to sleep in. Since Big Mac and I had been hard at work felling trees for the past few days, Applejack volunteered to take over the early morning chores. There wasn’t really too much to do; let the chickens out and feed them, feed the cattle, pigs, and sheep. Everything else was on hold until spring; no trees to check on most days, no fields to plough or seed or harvest, even the vampire fruit bats were all hibernating now, with many taking up residence in the farm outbuildings near the Rez.
Of course, just because I got an extra hour or so of kip, didn’t mean my day would be quiet. The barn was full of firewood, now more or less dried out and ready to sell to Burnt Oak in town. Mac and I would be heading down there today, just as I had done with the smaller load last Spring. Before all that though, the first thing on my mind was to see what the snow had done last night.
Getting out of bed, I felt a sharp sting of cold hit me as I discarded the warm sheets. Even with the fire going, it was far from balmy in here now. It was pretty light outside, even through the curtains. And throwing them open revealed the full extent of the snowfall. As far as the eye could see, there was nothing but pristine whiteness. The snow had to be around eight inches or so on the ground. The clouds from the previous night had cleared away too, and a cold sun now shone down on the landscape, making the freshly fallen snow twinkle.
After a quick shower to warm up again (at this time of the year, hot water was a precious resource) and brushing my teeth and combing the bed head out of my mane, I headed downstairs to breakfast. Granny was, as seemingly ever, working at the stove on breakfast. Applejack meanwhile, was pouring herself a coffee from the pot. I gladly helped myself as well. Winona followed me into the kitchen as well, having previously been dozing in front of the fire. My arrival marked another opportunity to beg for some food.
“She’s already had her breakfast,” Applejack said with a smile as she tucked into her cereal. “I reckon she’s tryin’ to hustle ya, Bones.” I chuckled and made of fuss of the dog.
“Well, they say collies are one of the smartest breeds,” I replied. Activating my magic, I picked up Winona’s favourite squeaky toy. A couple squeezes and I had her attention. A quick throw sent her racing back into the living room to retrieve it from behind the sofa.
“Easily distracted though,” AJ remarked wryly. “So, you and Big Macintosh gonna be alright haulin’ the firewood to town?”
I took a sip of my coffee. It was good stuff, not that instant rubbish. As with everything with the Apples, even coffee making was a little old fashioned, since we used on old school percolator to make fresh coffee. Old fashioned or not though, the caffeine woke me right up.
“I reckon so,” I said after a moment. “The snow doesn’t seem too deep out there. So long as we don’t overload the wagons, we shouldn't have a problem.”
“Just make sure the both of ya wrap up warm out there,” Granny Smith chimed in as she set down a plate of scrambled eggs and toast for me. “They’re sayin’ we may get a little more snow later, and it’s gonna get mighty chilly.”
“Granny, I’ll go out there dressed up like I’m trekking to the Frozen North if it’ll make you happy,” I said jokingly as I helped myself to some scrambled eggs and toast. “Hay, I’d even fetch out my old SAS shemagh if you want.”
“She-what?” Granny asked as she joined. “What in Equestria is one of those then, Bones?”
“It’s a headscarf,” Apple Bloom butted in. “We read about them when we had a lesson on Saddle Arabia at school.”
“They’re good for keeping the sand out of your eyes and the sun off your head in the desert, and just as good for keeping warm on a cold winter day,” I added.
“I didn’t know you had one, Bones,” Apple Bloom went on.
“I think it’s around somewhere,” I said. “My parents bought me one when we went to visit the Imperial War Museum when I was younger.”
As we all tucked into breakfast and prepared for the day ahead, we chatted about what else was happening.
“You know, I reckon it’s time we thought about puttin’ the decorations up for Hearth’s Warming Eve,” Applejack said. “Maybe you and me could go look for a decent tree, Granny?”
“Well, it is gettin’ near to that time, isn’t it?” Granny agreed. “I expect old Fir Spruce has his little store all set up by now. Just remember that we still need to get that break in the water pipe seen to today as well.
“I will, Granny. Don’t you worry,” AJ reassured her grandmother. “Apple Bloom, why don’t you start gettin’ the decorations down from the attic while we’re gone?” Instantly, the little filly’s ears perked up, and not in a good way.
“I gotta go in there?” she whined.
“There’s nothing scary up there, Apple Bloom,” I reassured her, before adding, with a sly smile. “Well, except those rats of course.”
“Rats?!”
“Don’t listen to him, Apple Bloom, he’s just messin’ with ya,” AJ reassured her. “Big Macintosh checked himself last month. There’s no rats, mice, or any other varmits up there, so there’s nothin’ for you to worry about. Just fetch the boxes down into the hall, and we’ll get ‘em organised when Granny and me get back from town with a tree.”
With everything organised for the day, more or less, Big Mac and I prepared to head out with our loads to deliver the firewood to Burnt Oak. AJ meanwhile, would tend to repairing the damaged water pipe, leaving Apple Bloom and Granny to clean up and start on the decorations. We wouldn’t be putting anything up for another couple days, but it was always a good idea to get them out of the attic a little early to check them all out. I’d never tell AB this, but I’m eighty percent sure there is at least one rodent of some description living up there, but despite traps, long searches, and various schemes to catch the bounder, neither Mac nor I have been able to catch it.
But we didn’t need to worry about that right now. For the moment, I was more concerned with the state of the roads. The two of us would be hauling fully loaded wagons down to Ponyville, and while the town would probably be alright, the paths on the farm, and the road leading to town, were still covered by a modest layer of snow and ice. It would make the going tough and treacherous at times, so we’d need to be careful. Mac said as much as we both hitched ourselves up.
“I’ll go in front, Bones,” he said. “I’ve got the heavier wagon. Just stay in my tracks, and we shouldn’t have any trouble.”
“Fair enough, Mac,” I agreed, shivering slightly, in spite of the jacket and scarf I had on. I was seriously considering going back and fetching my old shemagh out of the closet. Between the cold air and snow, I was freezing.
“At least pulling all this will help us warm up,” Mac said, seemingly reading my thoughts. “Come on, let’s get going.”
And so the two of us set off. Initially, it took a bit of work. Starting a fully loaded wagon moving takes effort and the best of times, but the snow on the ground made it had to get any traction. Eventually though, with some effort, we managed to get going and carefully headed down the farm track. The going was a little dicey, but you soon get a feel for driving in the snow, and at least I had the advantage of following Mac’s wheel marks.
We soon left that farmhouse, with it’s chimney still smoking gently in the morning light, far behind and before too long, we were off the farm and onto the main road, which while not gritted and salted had at least been well ploughed to clear most of the snow. Things only improved when we got into town. The inhabitants had been working hard since the snow came to keep the roads clear and safe. Ponies don’t exactly have access to gritting machines, but they do have rudimentary snowploughs. The big difference though compared to Earth, was watching Milano, Button Mash’s mother, chasing her son, and two of his friends, off the road to stop them from licking up the salt that had been put down to help melt the snow.
While the weather was cold and getting about a little more difficult, it hadn’t stopped the market from opening as usual. Burnt Oak was in his usual spot, with firewood piled around his modest stall. His stock looked to be running a mite low, and ponies were queueing up to buy fuel for another cold night.
“Well thank Celestia!” he said, pushing his gambler hat back on his head a bit as we pulled up. “It sure is good to see you boys. I was almost ready to start selling sticks.”
“Figured you might need a bit more stock, Burnt Oak,” Mac said as he unhitched himself. “I see folks have been keeping you busy.” Burnt Oak chuckled as he handed off another bundle to a remarkably sober looking Berry Punch.
“Oh like you wouldn’t believe,” he said with a grin. “And to think this winter’s been pretty mild. So how much do you want for all that?”
Mac took the lead on the negotiations while I unhitched myself and prepared to start unpacking my load. It was as I was unlatching the back of the wagon to jump up that I heard a familiar voice call out from across the market.
“Bones!” a voice called out. I smiled as I recognised it.
Turning around, I saw an elderly looking earth pony, around Granny Smith’s age. He had a light, somewhat faded caramel coat and a somewhat messy mane and tail, which had long ago turned grey, and almost white. Around his neck was a modest green bandanna, and his cutie mark was a large, lime green pear.
This was Grand Pear; Mac, AJ’s and Apple Bloom’s maternal grandfather, the late Pear Butter’s father. Not so long ago he moved back to Ponyville, having run a modest store in Vanhoover selling pear jam. It was only then that the Apples’ learned of their relationship to him. Many years prior, the Apples and Pears had been locked in a long standing feud, and for the longest time, Pear was a dirty word on the farm, at least with Granny about. But having met his grandchildren, and if you ask me, still grieving for his daughter, the old stallion has set aside that old argument and we are all now on much better terms. He’s a nice enough guy and if we run into one another, we often swap stories on farming life. And given who he sounds like, I find it very fitting that he calls me by my nickname. At times, I’m tempted to call him Jim. At the moment, he was chatting with perhaps the most most boring pony in town; Mudbriar, Maud’s coltfriend.
“Hey Grand Pear. Good mornin’ Mudbriar,” I said as I trotted up. The painfully fickle stallion was quick to reply.
“Technically, it’s three minutes past twelve, so good afternoon would be correct,” he said in that slightly condescending tone of his. I honestly think he’s socially tone deaf, or possibly somewhere on the spectrum. Grand Pear just rolled his eyes and smiled sympathetically at me.
“How are things over on Sweet Apple Acres?” he asked me genially.
“Not so bad, Grand Pear,” I replied. “We’ve finished felling all the low yield trees from this year. There’s gonna be a lot of new saplings come spring. How about you?”
“Lost a couple to canker again this year,” he said ruefully. “Still made a good harvest though. I’m thinking of trying that idea little Apple Bloom suggested; cross breeding zap apple and pear trees. Who knows, next year I might be able to sell hybrid, rainbow coloured pears. If I can get a good harvest, I might even try making a few batches of that pear wine I was telling you about.”
“Sounds great,” I agreed. “AB said you were planning on tryin’ somethin’ new.”
Of all the Apples, Apple Bloom is the closest with the old stallion. She met him when he first came back to town, not even realising he was her grandfather.
I was surprised though to find Mudbriar with him. The matter of fact, deeply logical pony isn’t exactly the type to engage in small talk. Before I could ask though, Mudbriar chimed in again.
“Technically, pear based wines have been produced for several centuries, so it is hardly a new product,” he pointed out. I smiled and bit back a scathing remark.
“True, Mudbriar,” I admitted. “But up until now, Grand Pear here has only ever sold pears themselves or pear jam to ponies. So in that sense it would be a new product for him.”
“That was not what you said though,” Mudbriar persisted in an emotionless tone. Yeah, I’d bet ten bob he’d tick all the DSM V boxes for autism.
Luckily, before I had to deal with that any more, although I was enjoying chatting with Grand Pear. I heard Mac calling me.
“Hey, Bones!” he called from across the square. “Burnt Oak’s bought our whole stock. Come and give us a hoof unloading everything.”
“Be right there,” I called back, before turning back to Grand Pear and Mudbriar. “Sorry fellas, duty calls.” Grand Pear smiled.
“See you round, Bones.” Mudbriar however, seemed determined to have one last parting shot.
“Technically...” he began, but I cut him off as I got away.
“Figure of speech, Mudbriar!” I called back, opting not to add, ‘You green blooded, pointy eared Vulcan’.
A couple of hours later, and Mac and I were back at the farm, our wagons now noticeably lighter than they were before. The barn still had plenty of firewood for ourselves of course. In fact, our next course of action would be to chop some of that firewood up into sticks for kindling. It had warmed up a little over the morning, but the cool winter sun didn’t exactly provide much heat. The snow certainly didn’t go anywhere, with only our hoofprints and wheel marks marring the snowfall, along with the arrow shaped footprints left behind by the chickens on the farmyard. It wasn’t supposed to snow now for a few days, so Mac suggested that, before chopping up the firewood, we try and clear the yard a bit to make it easier to get around and look to defrosting the currently frozen water pump.
So we both grabbed the shovels and started digging out a few paths around the farmyard. There wasn’t any point trying to clear everything, but it would make sense to carve out a path to and from the barn, the chicken coop, and a few other places, to save tramping our way through the deep snow. If nothing else, the work would help us keep warm. In spite of my scarf, jacket and hat, I was still feeling the cold and looking forward to getting back inside. We could actually hear the female members of the family indoors. It looked like Granny was working on something in the kitchen with the others helping. The farmhouse had been getting pretty crowded of late. Well, not crowded per se, but with Sugar Belle sharing Mac’s room, it did feel a little more busy. I was reminded of Lizzie’s suggestion that Mac and Sugar Belle might want a place of their own.
“Say, Mac,” I said as I hurled another chunk of snow into the pile I’d been working on. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he replied, a smile clear in his voice.
“You and Sugar Belle ever think about gettin’ your own place?” I asked. “I was talkin’ with Lizzie a while back. She’s moved out of Fluttershy’s cottage to go live with her coltfriend. Between her, Fluttershy, Discord, and all them critters, the place was gettin’ mighty crowded.”
“It’s been feelin’ a bit like that here, hasn’t it?” Mac agreed. “It ain’t exactly fun for a feller and his wife to only have one room to themselves.”
“You ever think of gettin’ your own place in Ponyville or somethin’?” I prodded.
“We talked about it,” Mac admitted, hurling an impressive amount of snow through the air before pausing to catch his breath. “But I couldn’t ever leave this old place. It’s my home. I was born here, and I plan on stayin’ here. But it is gettin’ mighty cramped. Celestia knows what we’d do if Sugar Belle and I have foals. I suppose we could always build an extension for the farmhouse.”
Now there was an idea. After all, the Apples owned the land, so half the legal paperwork wouldn’t need doing, and it wasn’t like we lacked building materials or pony power. A couple extra rooms; extra bedrooms, and maybe something like another living room would be quite good all around.
“You reckon we could do that?” I asked. Mac nodded.
“Sure, you, me, and Applejack. It’d take a few months, but I reckon we could take out part of the back wall in the kitchen and build from there. Either we build just a single storey extension with a couple extra rooms, or we could do a first floor as well; bedrooms upstairs, maybe a dining room downstairs, instead of having to eat in the kitchen.”
I could see that. It wouldn’t affect the familiar silhouette of the farmhouse much, and it would be easy enough to decorate it in the same style as the original building. Before too long, the two of us started talking details and logistics, and how to delicately propose the idea to the conservative Granny Smith. She probably wouldn’t take kindly to the idea of the ancient family seat being messed around with. Although, at that point, you could remind her that, Applejack, only a couple of years ago, inadvertently demolished said family homestead, and it was rebuilt during the reunion. In any case, it sounded like quite the project for the new year.
December continued along and we slowly drew closer and closer to Hearth’s Warming. Before too long, the last week of term rolled around at the School of Friendship. The students would now return home for the holidays. Just as ponies celebrated Hearth’s Warming, and humans celebrated Christmas, the various other species also had their own festivities, from the Yaks Snildarfest, the dragons Feast of Fire, and the Changelings bizarre literal interpretation of Hearth’s Warming. All the students were looking forward to going home and seeing their families. Well, except one.
Gallus, as ever, wasn’t exactly thrilled at the idea of going home. While the griffons do celebrate the Blue Moon Festival; the one time of the year when they are halfway decent to each other, he doesn’t much care to celebrate it, considering his only family if his grandfather. When the summer holidays rolled around, I’d at least managed to give him a bit of fun by letting him join in with the Apple family reunion, and even helped him get a few extra bits doing some odd jobs on the farm. Still, while Twilight, and now Starlight, had made special provisions for him to stay in the school’s dorms during the holidays, it had to be hard spending it alone. Hearth’s Warming, like Christmas, is all about family, coming together, laughing, joking, and enjoying each other’s company. Not really having a family, the whole concept left a pretty bitter taste in Gallus’ mouth. The only upside would be that, with his advancing years, he would soon be considered a legal adult under Griffon law. He was planning to up sticks, leave Griffonstone and his grandfather behind and move to Equestria as soon as he could. As I said before, he has ambitions about applying to the new Royal Guard. If nothing else, the Guard would provide for him pretty well, giving him quarters, decent food, further education, and a pretty good paying job, none of which he had back home.
Before all that though, there was still plenty of school left to do. In the last week of term, students and teachers get together to put up the decorations, including a pretty decent sized tree in the student lounge over in the dorms. This was always one of my favourite parts of Christmas with my family, and given how other students and us teachers had become like a second family to Gallus, I hoped that the exercise would lift his spirits a little. It certainly seemed to at any rate, and it was good to see the kid crack a smile.
We were all working hard in the lounge, adding the last few decorations to the tree. Silverstream and Smoulder had already helped get the multicoloured chain lights arranged, and we were now adding the various baubles and trinkets to the branches. I meanwhile, along with Yona and Sandbar, was getting the gold and silver tinsel tied around the tree, using my magic to hold one end aloft for them.
“Okay, you two,” I said. “One more and that should do it.”
Activating my magic, I took one end of the tinsel and hold it aloft, while the pony and yak took hold of the end and middle and carefully wound it around the tree. The green fir tree was now covered in splashes of red, gold, silver, and green from the various decorations. Now we just needed to check the lights. That was Silverstream’s job.
“Okay, everycreature. Get ready,” she called as she flicked the switch.
We all cheered as the little fairy lights came on. A multitude of blue, green, pink, yellow, and white lights lit up, making the tree even more colourful. There was only one thing left.
“Okay, it’s time for the Fire of Friendship,” Starlight said. “Gallus, would you care to do the honours?”
The griffon, in a rather subdued mood, hadn’t taken much part in the festivities so far, apart from helping put on a few decorations. As he so often does, he puts on a show of disinterest to cover up his real feelings. I understood why, of course, we all did after the incident last year, but it was a shame to see him sitting off on his own, so Starlight tried to include him as much as she could without patronising him.
“Me?” he asked, sitting up from his seat on one of the sofas.
“Well, you’re going to be staying her over the holiday, so it’s your tree in a sense,” Starlight pointed out. “Come on, join in on the fun for a while.”
Reaching into one of the many cardboard boxes that held the decorations through the rest of the year, I took out the box that held the Fire of Friendship; a small little trinket that, when charged with the right magic, glowed and shone a beautiful purple. The heart shaped ornament was quite delicate and I was careful as I passed it to Gallus, who gently took to the air to set it atop the tree. Once it was in place, all that remained was to charge it up. As Gallus landed again, we all joined hooves, claws, and wings, as friends. The energy was more than sufficient, with the bonds not only between ponies, but between all the species here, stronger than ever. A few moments later, the fire was kindled and atop the tree, there now sat a small, pink and purple heart shaped flame, which would keep burning all through the holiday. And then, just to make things perfect, we had the most fitting bit of music. There was a gramophone in the lounge you see, and we’d been playing a couple records for Hearth’s Warming and Christmas music. Just as we lit the fire, we heard the strains of ‘It Came Upon a Midnight Clear’. I couldn’t think of a more fitting piece, considering what had happened in the last few months.
“Looks pretty good doesn’t it?” I said to the griffon as we all admired our handiwork.
“Yeah, actually,” Gallus admitted. “I always thought these trees always looked a little tacky. But this one looks pretty nice.”
“Mad how much ponies spend on something that’s only up for less than a month though, eh?” I joked. Gallus checked and nodded in agreement.
“So are you still fixin’ to stay here over the holiday?” I enquired carefully, “I know Starlight said she was happy for you to do so if you wanted, under the guise of further education to keep your grandpa quiet.”
“I’m not too sure,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “On the one claw, I’d much rather not have to pretend to celebrate the Blue Moon Festival with Grandpa Gruff, but on the other hoof, as much as I don’t like him, it can’t be easy for him spending the time alone either. I mean, another year and I plan on being out of that place for good anyway. Plus winter break is only a couple weeks, so it won’t be too long before I’m back here.”
It sounded like he was coming down on the side of going back to Griffonstone. I could see where he was coming from. His grandfather might be a cantankerous, horrible old sod who seemed to never have a kind word for him, but it still made me sad to think of that same old man alone on Hearth’s Warming. Even so, I’m not sure I could do the same, were our roles reversed. And as he said, it was only a couple weeks. Considering that he had pretty much the rest of the year, apart from a couple other holidays, away from him, it was a small sacrifice. Was his home life a bit more rocky, I might have counselled staying, but Gallus has learned to have a thick skin, is remarkably resilient, and while I know it gets him down, is capable of dealing with whatever his old man throws at him.
“That’s awfully big of you, Gallus,” I commended. “I see you’ve taken Professor Fluttershy’s lessons to heart. Well, as long as you’re sure, I’ll make sure that Headmare Starlight gets you booked on a passage back to the Griffon Kingdom.”
“What are you planning to do over the holiday anyway, Professor?” Gallus asked.
“Well, I normally split Hearth’s Warming between the Apples and my own family. I still go over to my parents’ place for dinner on the day, plus I always help Dad make Bishop. It’s a sort of spiced wine, served piping hot. I’m sure Apple Bloom and her friends will want help making a snow pony. Honestly, I prefer to spend the day pretty quietly just relaxing in front of a warm fire.”
“Yeah, I’m probably gonna do something like that,” Gallus agreed. “It’s not like there’s much to do in Griffonstone.”
It was then though, that I remembered something Dad had said to me in passing a while back. It concerned the travel plans of a rather notorious ex-villain, following her temporary exile from the realm. Gallus always was looking to learn about soldiering.
“Well, while you’re there, Gallus,” I said. “I’d suggest you keep an eye out for a unicorn that might be in that neck of the woods. I heard she might be spending some time near Griffonstone about now.”
“Oh? Who is she?” I smiled and described her.
“A unicorn, about so high,” I said, raising a hoof to be a good head above my own. “Mohawk mane, tends to go about with a shemagh type scarf round her neck, bad horn and a nasty scar over one eye. Her name’s Tempest, and I think you two might get along like a house on fire.”
A few days later, and it was finally Hearth’s Warming Eve. The school was closed up, with Gallus having taken one of the last trains before the holiday back to his home town. The other students too had gone home for the holidays. In fact, pretty much everything was now closed for the holiday. Barnyard Bargains was operating reduced hours today, but pretty much everywhere else in Ponyville would be closing up shop until the new year at least.
The snow was thick on the ground, the days were fleeting, and everywhere you looked there were decorations, lights, and the other minutiae of Hearth’s Warming. There was a sense of excitement in the air in anticipation of the holiday, that feeling you used to get as a kid waiting up for Father Christmas. And while I wasn’t overly fussed about presents, I still found myself caught up in that happy mood.
It was a little before dinner time, and I was out in the front yard, along with AJ and Apple Bloom. The three of us had spent all morning working on snow ponies, amongst other things. The whole yard was now littered with our various creations, built with varying degrees of skill. Given how that winters back in Britain were usually pretty mild, with the occasional snowfall only sometimes being sufficient for snowmen, I wasn’t exactly good at it. I certainly couldn’t match the sculptures AJ and her sister were working on, instead building a traditional snowman out of three round balls of snow.
Along with that though, the fields around the farmhouse were dotted with various fortifications from our most recent snowball fight. We’d had a right free for all not so long ago, and had each made quite an extensive fort for ourselves. What followed can be best described as Verdun with snowballs. And as cold and wet as it might have left me (I was brilliantly outflanked when my two opponents teamed up against me after I started using my magic for rapid fire) it still rekindled that childlike joy of Christmas that all too often dies when you’re about ten or eleven. Across the way, the house was brilliantly decorated, with multicolour lights along the frame of the building, and peering through the windows, you could just make out our own tree in the living room, which now had plenty of presents underneath it.
“There, I reckon that ought to do it,” I said as I stuck a carrot into my snowman’s as a nose.
“Aww c’mon, Bones. That doesn’t even look like a human,” Apple Bloom protested.
“It’s not supposed to be exact, AB,” I replied. “Besides, I don’t have your skills when it comes to snow sculptures.”
It was hard not to be jealous of her near mirror image of Big Mac that she’d built. In contrast, my snowman had the traditional carrot nose, two sticks for arms, and coal and stones for eyes and a smile. Still, as long as we don’t have a repeat of last year when I ill advisedly used a Come to Life spell to try and recreate Frosty, causing an eldritch snow abomination to run amok until Twilight arrived to blast it, I say I’m pretty proud of my creation. Across from the two of us, Applejack was starting to feel the chill.
“C’mon y’all,” she said, shivering a little, in spite of her winter coat. “Let’s get back inside. You two still need to finish making your Hearth’s Warming dolls.”
That was a point. One of the traditions that didn’t line up with Christmas was the little Hearth’s Warming dolls ponies make each year. They sit on the mantle above the fireplace, similar to how you’d hang stocking at Christmas. Along with that, there was the Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant to go to, which tells the story of how the holiday came about, and of course, preparing the Apple family’s massive Hearth’s Warming dinner, which remembers how their ancestors came together to share their supplies in that cold winter. It was the latter of these that currently had Granny, Mac and Sugar Belle busy in the kitchen. Granny Smith keeps us well fed all year long, but tonight the Apples would set the stage for a massive multi course meal, and it required all of us to pitch in at one time or another. So while AJ joined her brother, grandmother and sister in law, those of us with less skill in cooking went into the living room to finish up our dolls.
I was never good at sewing. Back in high school, I had to go through a course as part of my D&T GCSE course, and I was terrible at it. It probably didn’t help that I was left handed, and so had to learn everything backwards from what everyone else did. I never much cared for it and to be honest, I didn’t see much point in learning. However, in a world where it pays dividends to be able to repair clothes and so forth, I have managed to improve somewhat. And on long, boring, rainy days, crochet can actually be a decent hobby, as Big Mac showed me. It was quite the strange sight to see the massive stallion sitting next to Granny Smith contentedly working on a sweater. He ended up teaching me a fair bit, and as I result, I can now make a passable Hearth’s Warming doll.
This was what Apple Bloom and I were working on in the short time we had before going to the pageant. Like any good student, we’d both been a bit daft and left it until the last minute. While I have nothing against arts and crafts these days, I still don’t find it particularly fun. Still, at least my magic gives me decent fine motor control for the needles.
The doll version of myself was pretty much finished, and I was just working on the hat. I’d been a bit ambitious this year in that regard. Apple Bloom was in a similar position, doing a bow for her own doll. It looked a good approximation of my, with a grey body, blue mane and tail, and two dark brown buttons for eyes.
I’m not too sure exactly where this tradition comes from. It doesn’t feature in the Hearth’s Warming Eve story, seeming to be a more modern addition. Then again, you can say the same thing about most Christmas ‘traditions’. But, while I may not know where this particular tradition comes from, to paraphrase a wise old Jew, it's a tradition, and because of our traditions, everypony knows who he is, and what Celestia expects him to do. And if that means making cute little dolls, so be it.
“You looking forward to the pageant this year, AB?” I asked as she continued to knit away.
All three of the Crusaders had parts in the play this year, with Apple Bloom taking the part of Smart Cookie; the secretary and advisor to the mad as a march hare Chancellor Puddinghead, who sought to not only claim the land we now call Equestria for earth ponies only, but curiously name it after my old home planet. Alongside her, Scootaloo played Private Pansy, and Sweetie Belle would take the hooded cloak of Clover the Clever; old Starswirl’s student.
“I just hope I don’t forget any of my lines,” she said, a little nervously.
“You’ll be fine,” I reassured her. “You know the story of Hearth’s Warming like the back of your hoof. And if anything does go wrong, I’m sure Pinkie will help you out.”
Pinkie was reprising her role this year as the earth pony chancellor, not that anypony else can adequately act the part without taking some mad hallucinogenic. A few minutes later, and I put the last stitch into the hat and tied it off to stop it unravelling.
“There. Finished.” I declared proudly, holding the doll in my magic. “What do you think, Apple Bloom?” The filly scrutinised the two Bones’ before her.
“Hmm,” she said, thinking before saying, with a cheeky grin. “I think it needs more stuffing if it’s gonna look like you, Bones.” I chuckled at that.
“Cheeky beggar,” I chided.
I think we might as well take a bit of a time skip here. We all know the story of the very first Hearth’s Warming after all, and while the Crusaders and their fellow players performed wonderfully, there isn’t really much worth recording here. It was a lovely experience, of course, but I was certainly glad when, after walking back through the snow by moonlight, we made it back to the warm confines of the farmhouse, where Granny Smith was still busily cooking, having stayed behind to keep an eye on things.
The oven was throwing out plenty of heat, in addition to the warm fire. On the stove, pots were bubbling away nicely. And that was only part of the dinner, mostly the desserts. The majority of the evening meal was already set out. Disregarding the frou-frou nature of multi-course meals, the Apples instead took a sort of free for all approach, with several dishes laid out like a buffet for you to pick and choose. Amongst the culinary delights on offer I picked out a parsnip and porcini wellington, a whole roasted cauliflower, with leeks and cheese sauce, a squash and Stilton version of toad in the hole, and, of course, a great big apple pie, with plenty of reserve cider on hoof. Granny Smith had certainly outdone herself this year, even considering the help she had from other members of the family.
We all took our seats and promptly dived into the feast. The only downside was having to eat so much food. By the time the meal ended and we were all carefully sipping coffee mixed with cider, I was fairly certain sudden movement would cause my gut to burst open. If only Equestria had microwaves, we could at least put some of it in the fridge for Boxing Day.
One good effect though, at least for Apple Bloom, was that the vast quantity of food quickly made her quite sleepy, and despite her excitement for presents tomorrow morning, she dozed off in her chair, prompting Big Mac to carefully carry her upstairs. Granny soon followed suit, leaving Mac, AJ, Sugar Belle and myself to clean up. Another downside of having a large meal so late. Still, with the four of us working together, along with Winona, who served as a living garbage disposal for any leftovers, we soon had everything, if not clean and back in its cupboard, either drying on the draining board, or at least soaking in the sink. Before too long, we were all preparing to head off to bed as well. As Big Mac and Sugar Belle both disappeared upstairs, leaving just AJ and myself, I took one last look at the pretty Hearth’s Warming scene that was our living room. The remains of a fire slowly burned in the fireplace. Above it, nestled on the mantle, were our dolls and a few trimmings. The walls were plastered with cards from the various members of the Apple family from almost every corner or Equestria, and even beyond. And in the one corner stood our tree, the fire of friendship burning merrily, while the tinsels, baubles, and other decorations glittered in the light. And on the air, the smell of tree, good food, and the slight musty smell of the decorations, brought on by their many months of storage. There was only one thing I hadn’t spotted, which Applejack was quick to bring to my attention.
I was standing in the doorway to the living room, with the hallway just behind me. As AJ trotted up to join me, she grinned, and quietly gestured upwards. Looking up, I saw, hanging from the top of the door frame, a small branch of mistletoe. I found myself chuckling.
“You know,” I said with a smile, keeping my voice down to avoid waking anypony upstairs. “As I recall, the first time you kissed me was a bit like...”
I didn’t get to finish reminiscing as AJ promptly took the initiative, grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss. She does seem rather fond of taking the initiative, not that I mind. There’s certainly some advantages to that earth pony strength of hers. I soon found myself pulling her close and kissing her back. A quick teleport spell later, and we were both upstairs.
I guess I got one Hearth’s Warming present a few hours early.
Author's Note
Sorry if there are any little typos in here. My proofreader, Sweetolebob18, is out of action at the moment.
I guess I should have started publishing this a couple weeks earlier, then this would line up nicely with Christmas. But given how this year it was a bit meh for one reason or another, hopefully this little idealised version of Hearth's Warming will make January a bit more bearable.
On the plus side, there is still an epilogue left to do covering Hearth's Warming and New Year.
After that, that will be it for this 'verse, as its somewhat turned into. And I know I've said that before, but this time I mean it.
I think the both of us were hoping to get a good night’s sleep that night. After all, we did both end up very tired, for various reasons. While the physical act of love doesn’t exactly appeal to me, I do consider myself to be something of a romantic, and I was looking forward to waking up with AJ in my forelegs. Or me in hers, either way is fine in my book. Sadly, while AJ got what she was looking for, my Hearth’s Warming present was snatched away early that morning, when the pair of us were rudely awoken by a certain little filly.
“Wake up! Wake up!” Apple bloom exclaimed excitedly as she jumped up and down on my bed.
The little filly had burst into the room, innocently disregarded the fact that AJ and I were in the same bed together, and begun bouncing on top of it and us like a lunatic.
“Come on! Wake up! It’s Hearth’s Warming!” she continued when we only vaguely stirred. Blinking and yawning wearily, I sat myself up in bed, while AJ tried to stay asleep.
“Alright, Apple Bloom, I’m up,” I said tiredly.
Out of idle curiosity, I took a look at the alarm clock next to my bed. I couldn’t see much in the way of light through the thick curtains, but if Apple Bloom was up, it couldn’t be that early. Oh how wrong I was.
“Apple Bloom is five o’clock in the morning!” I exclaimed. “Go back to bed.”
“But it’s Hearth’s Warming, Bones!” the little filly repeated, now at last stopping her excitable jumping.
“And it’ll still be Hearth’s Warming in a couple hours. Now you know Granny only ever lets everypony sleep in on Hearth’s Warming and put off most of the chores until tomorrow. Me and AJ still want to sleep.”
“Well, can I go downstairs and open my presents?” the filly pleaded.
“Absolutely not!” I protested. “We all open our presents together. Now go back to bed for a while. Have a quick nap and we’ll go down around six thirty.”
“But that’s over an hour away!” Apple Bloom complained.
“Patience is a virtue,” I replied with a smile. “Now come on, back to bed. Don’t make me levitate you back there, because you know I will.”
Apple Bloom pouted adorably, but ultimately complied. I remembered doing as much when I was little. I’d be so excited for Father Christmas, that I’d wake up stupidly early and be too excited to go to bed. I’d wake up Lizzie if she wasn’t already in the same boat, and together, we’d go and badger Mum and Dad. Still, at least we had whatever was in our stockings to play with, and there was usually lots of chocolate coins too. Apple Bloom didn’t have that luxury. While Hearth’s Warming is a lot like Christmas, there’s no analogue to old St. Nick in Equestria.
Well, I say that, but it may not be the case. I’ve come across bits and bobs when I was studying Yak culture about ancient Gift Givers of the Grove. From what I can make out, these are three reindeer, and magical ones at that, that live in the Frozen North, further north that even Yakyakistan, essentially, and rather fittingly, the North Pole. The exact location though, is a closely guarded secret, known only to Prince Rutherford himself, but they are rumoured to be able to intuitively select the perfect gift for any creature. Pinkie has apparently met them, and while she wouldn’t tell me too much, I know that these three reindeer, Aurora, Bori, and Alice, do seem to have magical properties outside of conventional magic. Each one seems to handle one aspect of time; past, present, and future, when it comes to gifts, possessing omniscience to some degree.
But enough about all that, I wasn’t really keen on contemplating all that now, I just wanted to get forty more winks before sunrise. I turned to Applejack, who had now rolled over to face me, and was looking up at me with a tired smile.
“Thanks for that, Bones,” she said softly.
“Happy Hearth’s Warming, AJ,” I said, just as quietly, as I leaned down to nuzzle her.
“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Bones.”
And with that, came the music.
Evidently Apple bloom, while willing to stay in her room a little while longer, wasn’t quite willing to go back to sleep, and was planning on throwing a little hearth’s Warming party in her room for herself. I knew she had a phonograph in there, but I didn’t realise that she’d gotten her hooves on my old Christmas album. It was a fitting piece though, for once being neither ironic, or hypocritical. War was over after all. The year had all but come to an end, and a new one was just about to begin. It was looking to be a good one too.
Now if only she hadn’t played it on full blast, loud enough to shake the house. Needless to say, that got me out of bed.
Defying the noise, I stepped out into the hallway, where I found Big Mac and Granny Smith equally awake. Even Winona had come running up from downstairs, which she knows she isn’t supposed to do, to see what the infernal kerfuffle was about. Well, at least with this, they wouldn’t notice Applejack coming out of my room instead of her own. Mac was just about to try the door when the music died down and Apple Bloom came rushing out.
Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!” she exclaimed in fast repetition. “I thought I’d turned it down.” The little filly’s ears wilted in embarrassment.
While she did want to be up and about and opening presents, I know she wouldn’t have wanted to wake up the whole farm. While it might have been a bit annoying, it was Hearth’s Warming. There’d be plenty of arguing later on; it was too early at the moment. Granny seemed to be of the same mind at any rate.
“Well, I’d hate to hear what it sounds like on loud, Apple Bloom,” she teased. “But since you got everypony up, how about we head downstairs. Ain’t no way anypony’s gonna get back to sleep after that big ol’ ruckus.”
I could hardly be mad, more often than not, the same scenario had played out a similar way when Lizzie and I were kids. We’d go back to our rooms, eat the chocolate coins, play with whatever little presents had come in our stockings, but young minds struggle to avoid thinking about that new doll house, or that new train set waiting just down the hall for us. And so inevitably, we’d either go back to bother Mum and Dad after another ten minutes, or we’d do something to get them up. The latter usually involved the two of us fighting over each other’s presents.
And just like back then, we all ended up trudging our way down the stairs, following Apple Bloom who all but cartwheeled her way down in excitement. Maybe next year we should be like the royal family and take the German approach; opening the presents on Christmas Eve.
I’m sorry, between that, and the fact that there is no word in their language for ‘fluffy’, and that in 1935 they banned cricket, you can’t convince me they’re not evil. Not as bad as the French, but still…
Switching on the lights downstairs let us see a little better, although the glittering tree lights and it’s attendant Fire of Friendship, along with the low flicker on an ebbing fire in the fireplace gave a fair amount, Apple Bloom went ballistic. Gathered underneath and around the tree, were loads of presents wrapped in bright, multicoloured paper. While I no longer feel that same excitement that I did as a child finally getting my hands on the latest toy I’d been eyeing in the catalogues for months, I did feel a twinge of that old feeling as I looked upon the scene.
Of course, AB wasn’t exactly in a nostalgic mood, and after excitedly locating her largest present and proudly holding it up to display like a trophy, she tore the wrapping off with abandon. And just like me when I was her age, she bounded around in excitement when she did so. I was just the same when I unwrapped my first video game console back in the day.
While Granny Smith did her best to corral, or at least contain, a very happy Apple Bloom, the rest of us set to a more subdued gift giving. Activating my magic, I levitated a present out from under the tree, recognising the wrapping paper as the design I’d bought. I gently levitated it over to Applejack.
“Happy Hearth’s Warming, AJ,” I said before giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
“Thanks, Bones,” she said sweetly before setting the the wrapping with just as much eagerness as her little sister.
Removing the wrapping, she was confronted with the simple little photo frame, and the picture Apple Bloom had taken of the two of us a few summers back. Applejack herself was resting against my side, with her eyes closed, while I, not aware of the camera on me until a few moments later, was more or less dozing, with my eyes half open and looking fondly down at her, with a foreleg draped over her, holding her close. AJ let out a small gasp of surprise as she saw it.
“Bones, where in Equestria did ya get this?” she asked.
“AB was taking photos for some school project and snapped it,” I explained. “Bribed her with two jars of zap apple jam for the negative.” AJ smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss.
From there, we all went around exchanging gifts and cards, and slowly but surely, the pile of presents under the tree got smaller. For my part, I got a decent set of woodworking tools from Big Mac, Granny had made me a Hearth’s Warming sweater, as she had for all of us. Mine was a lovely green and red affair, with white snowflakes running around the middle. And like all Christmas jumpers, it itched like anything. Sugar Belle and Apple Bloom had joined forces on my gift; the former not knowing me too well had enlisted her new sister in law to help. The two of them had pooled their financial resources to get me a bottle of sake for Neighpon. Just like it’s Terran counterpart, it’s smooth, easy to drink, and gets you drunk surprisingly quickly. I promised to share it around come new year’s. Finally, Applejack had managed to get her hooves on the Equestrian equivalent of a Swiss army knife. Needless to say, it’s seen plenty of use since I got it.
The six of us spent the morning going through presents. A couple needed setting up or putting together, and of course, somepony had to make breakfast. And since it was Christmas, or rather Hearth’s Warming, I relieved Granny Smith of that job, despite her protests, and once again treated everypony to an Equestrian version of a full English. Needless to say, we’d need the energy, even with the large meal planned for later. And of course, there was the small matter of the chores.
It may be Hearth’s Warming; the most wonderful time of the year where ponies get together to celebrate, more so now, the harmony between the three tribes, and remember how they united together to banish the Windigoes, a time for presents, joy and laughter, with good food and drink shared between kin and good friends, but that didn’t mean the daily activities of the farm stopped. Now, true, the apple trees were bare, as were the fields, which were covered now under a thick blanket of snow. But we still had the chickens and pigs to feed, the cattle and sheep to care for, odd jobs and maintenance around the farm, and a few other things besides. Just because it was Hearth’s Warming, didn’t mean any of that stopped. It’s what sets us apart from ponies in other jobs. Most of Equestria was shut down today. Shops were closed, as were schools and offices. The trains weren’t running, and only a few cargo airships would be in the sky today. Even the Weather Patrol would only do effectively a half day, just to keep everything in good order. But for farmers, it was just another day at the office. The only ones I can think of in the same boat, off the top of my head at any rate, are the Royal Guard.
So, leaving Apple Bloom to play with the new toys she’d acquired, Applejack and I threw on our coats, boots, and scarves and headed out into the winter wonderland.
Stepping out, I found it, not unexpectedly, quite chilly. Even with my winter coat, scarf, and boots on my hooves, to say nothing of my own winter hide, I still shivered for a moment. My breath came out in puffs of swirling air, and underfoot, the snow crunched beneath our hooves.
“By Celestia, it’s cold out,” I remarked as I shivered again. “Let’s make this quick so we can get back inside.”
The two of us set to work, following the neatly cleared pathway across the farmyard that Mac had dug when the snow had really started to thicken. While it made it a little less tiring to get about, the lack of snow on the otherwise smooth ground made for a risky proposition, due to the ice. The odd puddle here and there had now become patches of almost invisible black ice, and while we were both wearing study, and insulating boots, comparable to wellingtons, you can’t really get a firm footing when there’s no grip to be had. We were only a few steps away from the farm when I briefly lost my footing.
“Horseapples!” I exclaimed as my legs seemed to get kicked out from under my. Even as a quadruped, it’s hard to rebalance yourself when you step on black ice. Luckily, AJ was there to stop me falling on my face.
“I got you, Bones,” she said, deftly catching me in her forelegs as I lost my footing. Sufficiently startled, I found firmer ground free of ice.
“Thanks, AJ,” I said as I fully got back to my hooves. “That’d have been a fine way to start Hearth’s Warming; goin’ and hurtin’ myself. Once we’ve fed the pigs and let the hens out, I’ll go throw down some grit on these paths. I don’t want Apple Bloom or Granny gettin’ hurt.”
For obvious reasons, while grit is used, just as much as it is on Earth, salt not so much, although folks in Ponyville had put a little down to help melt the snow off the roads. Given that, for ponies at least, salt is akin to alcohol, to the point of being one of the few controlled substances out there, few are willing to use it to melt snow. For now though, we continued on towards our first little job; letting the chickens out of the coop and feeding them.
The chicken coop was a simple enough wooden shed, resting on a raised set of wheels, so that it could be moved from time to time to fresher ground, and to stop foxes, badgers and the like digging his way in. Foxes in particular could be right beggars on that front. If they could get into the coop, they’d kill the whole flock in excitement, and then only take the one hen to eat.
Next to the coop was a small, locked bin, which contained the chicken feed. Being free range, the hens mainly found their own food, foraging through the day, but we always fed them first thing in the morning and again at lunch to supplement their diet, particularly now, with other sources of food difficult to come by. I yanked open the pop-hole, while AJ scattered some feed around. The cockerel was the first out and took a good look around the yard first, before making his way down the stepped ramp and calling the hens to follow him. Before too long, the dozen or so chickens were all out and about pecking at the snow and leaving arrow shaped claw prints behind them. At this time of year, they wouldn’t range too far, but come summer, they’d go out as far as the cattle pastures. Still, even now, with the comparative darkness suppressing their laying cycle, we still got enough eggs to get by, with beautiful yellow yokes. Once the weather picked up, we’d have enough surplus to sell at market.
Eggs seemed to be on the cockerel's mind as well, although for entirely different reasons. AJ and I chuckled as he jumped one of the hens, desperately balancing on her back. A few seconds later, after knocking him off her, the suitably startled hen irritably ruffled her feathers before going on her way.
“Won’t be too long before they all start turnin’ broody,” I remarked. “We’ll have to fetch the other coop out of mothballs them.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to have a few more hens,” AJ agreed as she continued to scatter feed around, prompting the cockerel to call the hens over with a signature call. “Celestia knows we’re due for some after last year.”
Ah yes, fifteen chicks in all, and all of them cockerels. It was like Fight Club at times before we sold them off to other farms and smallholdings.
With the chickens now happily feeding and beginning to start ranging out together, the two of us turned our attention to the pigs. They aren’t raised for meat of course; they’re more used as a way of getting rid of food scraps and as a nice cheap source of fertiliser. The stuff is certainly potent enough. While pigs themselves are actually very clean creatures, to the point of only even doing their business in one particular spot in their pen, that did little to stop the smell, which stunk to high heaven.
The other problem is their size. Pigs aren’t that much smaller than ponies, and all three of them a pretty solidly built to boot. They don’t look to do any harm, but their eagerness for food makes them forgetful. More than once I’ve found myself punted out of the way by one of them, and on one occasion, A sow went directly under me and lifted me clean off my hooves. Mac even told me once how the boar once knocked him down and, without missing a beat, began snuffling at him. It’s because of that that AJ and I take care of them now.
We had a fair few scraps for the three of them today, mainly leftovers from preparing our massive Hearth’s Warming meal, along with bad apples and other produce not fit for sale. The trio of pigs were already waiting at the gates, having learned that when the chickens get fed, they get fed soon after. The problem though is that, in their excitement, they try to get out of their pen, so one of us has to go in to feed them, the other has to try and distract them and draw them to the other end of the pen. Guess which job I ended up with. The only upside was that, with the cold weather, the mud was pretty much frozen solid.
Applejack managed to draw them off to the far corner, but as soon as they heard the squeak of the gate opening (something I really ought to fix at some point) they came bounding over. Hurrying over to their trough, I quickly poured the slops out to take their attention off of me. The three eating machines quickly set to work. I couldn’t help but be reminded of Hannibal and the fate of Mason Verger. Pigs will, after all, eat anything, including each other.
Still, with the pigs suitably acquiesced for now, Applejack and I set about the unpleasant task of collecting up their mess with a shovel and loading it into a cart. Still, as I said, it would make for excellent fertiliser, and a rather high yield explosive too if you’re stupid enough to store it somewhere that isn’t well ventilated. Granny Smith learned that the hard way in her younger days, when methane build-up and one errant match for lighting a lamp blew away half of one of the old barns.
With that unpleasant task done though, we had at least done all of the pressing work. Applejack however, suggested we attend to one more job.
“How about you and me take a walk and check the fence line, Bones?” she suggested.
Cold it may be, but it was also beautiful this Hearth’s Warming morning, a faint sun was making the snow glitter in its rays, with only a few small white clouds in the otherwise blue sky. Why would I say no to a walk through it all with my marefriend?
The two of us wound our way through the orchards. Even if the trees were bare of leaves or fruit, there was still something beautiful about them, in the way the snow gathered on their branches. I couldn’t help but ponder how they knew when to shed their leaves, and when to grow new shoots, considering that trees have no eyes to see, ears to hear, and no real way of sensing the world around them. Yet somehow, with only the slightest change in temperature, and never before the time, the trees would, almost as one, begin to grow new shoots, leaves, blossoms, and eventually fruit.
Underfoot, the freshly fallen snow crunched as we walked. There were no paths dug out here, and I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for the two trails of hoof prints we were leaving behind, marring the unbroken landscape. Still, at least the footing was a lot surer here, with the snow giving a surprising amount of grip. It wasn’t too deep, only about three inches I’d say. It was enough to cover the ground thickly enough, without drifting and making it hard to get about. Remember, ponies aren’t exactly tall to begin with and a foot of snow would be more than enough to stop most travel short of pegasi. Then again, four legs did make you less likely to fall on your rear than two.
It was fairly cold outside this early in the morning, but it hadn’t froze in the night. Still, my breath turned to vapour and we walked and talked, and I was conscious of some cold even through my boots and coat. As romantic as this all might be for us two lovebirds strolling around in the snow, I shouldn’t like to dawdle too long. The cold was already beginning to make my jaw ache.
“Man, I wish the weather had been like this at Christmas when I was a kid,” I commented as we continued on towards the now frozen lake.
“It didn’t snow much back on Earth?” AJ asked.
“A lot of places it did,” I replied. "But Britain tended to get pretty mild winters. The best you could usually hope for was a dry, cold overcast day, maybe some frost. A lot of the time it just rained though. That kinda took the magic out of the day. Particularly when some folks got flooded out.”
“Ugh! I bet!” Applejack agreed. “One of the things I like about all this snow and frost is how it gets rid of all the mud for a while.”
“Huh, me too,” I replied with a smile.
“So did you ever get a Hearth’s Warming like this?” she asked.
“Well, there were a couple years when there was snow for Christmas,” I explained as we worked our way up the little hill that overlooked the lake. “Once when I was about five or six we got a dusting on Christmas Eve and it stuck around for a few days. And then there was one time about six or seven years ago when we had snow all through December and into the new year. Although that kinda got a bit stale when it was all still around in March. Mom even got stuck up on the mountain once and had to have the police rescue her in their four wheel drive. We left the car up on the mountain until the Army sent the snowcats in to clear it; civilian snowploughs just couldn’t cope with it; drifts higher than trucks. It’s much better here, knowing that there’ll be snow at Hearth’s Warming.”
At that moment, we reached the top of the small hill that overlooked the lake. I had a lot of memories of this little spot on the farm. It was here that AJ and I had finally admitted our feelings for one another, I’d been right by here when Sombra attacked, I’d caught the fire sign of smoke from the grass fire in the summer, and not too far away was the entwined apple and pear trees memorialising Bright Mac and Pear Butter, and where Big Mac and Sugar Belle too tied the knot.
At this time of the year, the one steep side of the hill down towards the lake made for a great place to sled down on a toboggan, and the now frozen lake was good for skating, or maybe a spot of ice fishing. That could wait though. Right now I was taken aback by the beautiful winter scene that stretched out before us.
“It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful it is out here,” I said as we both looked out at the peaceful scene. “There’s nopony else for miles around. Kinda nice to have your own national park pretty much on your doorstep.”
Applejack though had her mind on other things. Catching my eye, she coyly gestured towards one of the small barns that dotted the landscape, grinning knowingly. They were empty at this time of year for the most part, with the remaining produce stored closer to home. The only thing left would be hay, stored in the loft, for the sheep and cattle.
“It’s gettin’ pretty cold out here, Bones,” she said innocently. “How about we head in there and warm up a bit?”
I smiled back. You didn’t need to be a genius to see what she was driving at. After all, we had rather rudely been interrupted by Apple Bloom this morning. And who knows when we’ll next have a quiet moment to ourselves. I might not put much stock in physical intimacy, but that didn’t mean for one second I was going to deny AJ.
“It is a bit chilly out here, isn’t it,” I agreed with a smile.
Fate however, seemed determined to intervene today. For no sooner had we taken a few steps than we heard a voice call out close at hoof.
“Bones! Applejack!”
It was my dad. Mum was with him too. The both of them were dressed heavily in winter wear. Dad had a heavy overcoat and wellingtons, along with that daft looking tweed flat cap of his, while Mum had her own winter coat, walking boots, and a bobble hat, as well as waterproof trousers over her jeans.
We both started and promptly turned around, trying to look as though we weren’t about to sneak into an empty barn to do what loving couples do in them. If he suspected anything, my old man didn’t show it.
“Hey, Dad,” I said, a little nervously. “What brings you here?”
We were out in the middle of the farm after all. What in Equestria was he doing out here?
“Granny Smith told us the two of you had headed out this way,” he explained. “I was wondering if you fancied stopping by the house for Christmas dinner with me and the memsahib. Your sister’s coming along too. It’d be nice for us to all get together. Applejack’s welcome too, of course.”
Now, the Apples too would have their own Hearth’s Warming dinner, but that would take place after they’d raised the flag, making it more like a supper meal than dinner. Mum typically did Christmas dinner around two, so we should have plenty of time to head over there and stay for a while, before coming back to the farm with a decent appetite. I’d been planning on popping out to see my folks, as well as Lizzie and Dewdrop anyway. I could hardly not after all. But it was nice to have the opportunity to have Christmas dinner as a family regardless.
And so, AJ and I joined Mum and Dad as we all headed back to their house in town. Lizzie and Dewdrop were already there, helping to keep an eye on the dinner and keep the fire going. Celestia knows that, as beautiful as this winter wonderland was, we’d all be glad to get in somewhere warm before too long.
Heading into town, we soon came to my parents’ house. From the chimney, a thin plume of smoke was billowing, and the house glittered with multicoloured string lights Dad had hung up. On the door, there was a genuine wreath, and even before opening the door on which it was hung, we could all smell the dinner. Of course, the smell of a cooked goose didn’t exactly appeal to me as it once did, but I had no doubt Mum had made accommodations for us herbivores.
“We’re back!” Mum called out as we all walked in, being careful to knock the snow off our boots as we did so.
“Hey, Mum!” Lizzie called back from in the kitchen. “You’d better get in here. I think this goose you and Dad are having is nearly done.”
Mum took that as her cue to exit, and promptly disappeared to join her daughter in the kitchen, while Dad, Applejack and I went through to the front room to join Dewdrop, who had kindly agreed to keep an eye on the fire. Even with a guard on the fireplace, Mum would have kittens at the idea of leaving the house with even a single ember burning unattended.
With Mum and Lizzie busy in the kitchen, AJ and I followed Dad through to the front room. To my surprise, I found we weren’t the only guests here today. I was expecting to see Dewdrop of course, he and Lizzie spend pretty much all their time together. But I wasn’t expecting to see two alicorns and a draconequus amicably chatting away with young Dewdrop. Celestia and Luna were both perched, in a rather Lyra like fashion on the sofa, while Discord had taken my Dad’s armchair, and was currently blowing bubbles out of a meerschaum pipe, with a contemplative expression on his face. Dewdrop himself meanwhile, seemed overcome with anxiety and shyness at the prospect of making small talk with a chaos spirit and two former princesses.
“Princesses!” I exclaimed, as AJ bowed out of instinct. Celestia chuckled to herself, pausing only to take a sip from a glass of wine held in her telekinetic grip.
“Really, Blade Star,” she said. “It’s been months since the coronation. It’s just Celestia and Luna now. And there’s really no need to bow, Applejack.”
“Oh, sorry, force of habit,” I said grinning awkwardly, turning to Dad as AJ brought herself back up.
“You didn’t tell me Celestia and Luna were here too,” I said. Dad smiled.
“I figured it would make a nice Hearth’s Warming present,” he said. “Tia and Luna fancied spending some time away from Silver Shoals, so I suggested they stop by today. And Discord here is splitting his time between here and Sweet Feather Sanctuary, as well as Canterlot.”
“Well, I can hardly leave Spike with just the Princess of Books for company all day, now can I?” the old spirit pointed out.
“It’s always nice to see you, Blade Star,” Luna said with a kindly smile.
“Likewise,” I replied as AJ and I took a seat on the other sofa in the room. “So, how is retirement treating the two of you?”
“Most pleasantly,” Luna said. “Time away from my former duties has allowed me to take up pursuits unavailable to me in the past.”
“Pursuits involving a thousand year old stallion perhaps?” Celestia teased. Luna blushed a little at that. Her relationship with Stygian is now all but common knowledge.
“Well, at least she’s settled down, Cellie,” Discord chimed in with a grin. “I mean this whole on again off again thing is really starting to bore me.”
Now it was Celestia’s turn to blush as the room chuckled at her expense.
“While my sister may not have yet chosen to take a suitor,” Luna went on after we’d all recovered. “She has kept herself busy. Although I will never understand your interest in all those madcap activities you insist on partaking in.”
“What can I say? I’m an adrenaline junkie,” the white alicorn answered with a shrug. “And how about you two? How has life been on Sweet Apple Acres?”
We caught the magical trio up on the little comings and goings of life in our quiet little corner of Equestria. AJ was just telling everypony about my brief singing stint during zap apple season, when Mum saved my dignity by calling out that dinner was ready, and asked Dewdrop to come and lend a hoof, prompting him to disappear in a flash to the kitchen. So we all took our seats at the table. Using his chaos magic for something useful for a change, Discord had modified the small dining table to accommodate the many guests now gathered around it, and had even laid out quite the spread. We all took our places, with AJ on one side of me, Luna on the other, and Lizzie directly opposite, along with her boyfriend. Dad sat at one head on the table, while Celestia took the other, leaving Mum and Discord to sit opposite each other and lovingly trade barbs. Mum never has quite gotten on with the old spirit, mainly due to all the hi-jinks he’s gotten my dad mixed up in.
Speaking of my dear old mum, she soon appeared from the kitchen, along with Lizzie and Dewdrop, with the dinner, or at least part of it. Normally, since it would only be the four of us, Mum would serve everything together on individual plates. This year though, she’d gone for a more buffet style. After setting down a plate for everypony, she, Lizzie and Dewdrop began to ferry out the dishes. Mashed potatoes, carrots, sprouts, a large gravy dish, parsnips, roast potatoes, vegetarian versions of pigs in blankets, and, of course, a goose. They’d gone for a fairly small bird, which Dad had bought from a Griffon butcher up in Canterlot, given how most of us were not so inclined. To make up for that though, herbivore friendly alternatives were provided for us ponies.
Discord again used his magic to have a little bit of fun when, upon carving up the bird, he produced from it crop a beautiful blue carbuncle, in a nod to Conan Doyle’s Christmastime mystery, presenting it to Mum as thanks for the incredible spread. And it was an impressive spread too. Even with help from Lizzie, Dewdrop and my dad, this lot must have taken hours of labour.
“You should have come to fetch me and AJ sooner, Dad,” I said as the last dishes arrived. “Me and AJ would’ve loved to have helped out with all this.”
“Oh, I knew you two had your hooves full with getting that big meal ready last night,” Mum replied, waving away my concern. “Besides, Celestia here was a great help.”
Ah yes! How could I forget? One of Celestia’s hobbies, even when she was still running the show up in Canterlot was cooking.
“I never realised you had such an interest in cooking, your highness...er, I mean...Celestia,” Dewdrop added, with only a slight stammer and quiver in his voice. Celestia smiled kindly.
“One of the reasons I’m glad to no longer be a princess, Dewdrop,” she said. “Is that ponies now no longer see me as this distant figure who doesn’t lead a normal life. I’ve always enjoyed cooking, acting too. Even when I was still princess, I often cooked breakfast whenever there were guests in the castle.”
“Do not forget your love of zip lining either, dear sister,” Luna added, grinning. I struggled to avoid laughing then and there at the mental image of the regal and serene alicorn hurling down on a zip line.
“Really?” Lizzie asked, spooning out some carrots for herself.
“I’ve always loved adventure,” Celestia admitted. “Once Equestria became a more stable nation, and Luna and I were no longer required to see off some monster or deal with hostile griffons or zebras every week, I found myself missing the excitement. Extreme sports remind me of those heady days. It’s why Luna and I plan to go on a tour of Equestria.”
“Somepony’s trying to recapture their youth,” Discord said with a knowing grin. Luna scowled.
“At least we both managed to grow up, Discord,” she retorted defensively. “You still seem to derive your fun from childish pranks and manipulative mind games.”
“Oh I haven’t done that in years,” he countered.
“Young Elisabeth here would not be a pegasus were it not for your interference,” she pointed out.
“Is that a bad thing?” he replied coolly. Mum now joined in. It always has, if you ask me, been the root of her dislike towards the draconequus.
“If you’d asked her I wouldn’t mind,” she added. “But you turned up at Fluttershy’s one night, and the next morning she was stuck as a pegasus for a week.”
“She enjoyed it though once she got used to it,” Discord replied. “And it’s proved most useful to her over these past few years. I can’t imagine her being a skilled weather pony were she still a human.”
“Admit it, Discord. You were just curious to see what would happen. Don’t hide behind flimsy pretexts of goodwill.”
Applejack and I, along with a few other ponies, were now starting to feel decidedly uncomfortable. Luckily, Dad and Celestia stepped in.
“Alright, I think we should leave that discussion for another time,” she suggested diplomatically.
“Indeed,” Dad agreed. “While I might have my own views on the matter, Christmas dinner is hardly the place for it. Lord knows you and I have talked our way round it two dozen times, Discord.”
Mum looked as if she might continue on with her tirade for a moment, as did Luna. A moment later though, the pair relented, although the atmosphere remained a little uneasy with the mood soured. Fortunately, Dewdrop, of all ponies, managed to get things steered towards safer topics.
“Tell me, Celestia, when did you ever find time to learn how to cook?” he asked curiously.
“Well, when we first became rulers, Dewdrop,” she replied. “My days weren’t filled up with meetings and appointments. I used to have plenty of free time to learn as I wished, provided Luna and I kept up with our studies under Starswirl.”
The mention of the old father of modern magic got everypony chattering away quite nicely after that. I couldn’t help but notice though that Discord seemed rather pensive. I too have always been a little uneasy with what he did to my little sister. True, it has helped her immeasurably in her time here, but he did it without permission as an April fools joke. He did something similar to me, turning me briefly into an alicorn. At the time, all of us were damn cross with him, and Twilight was ready to tear his head off. It was only because Lizzie ended up liking her new form that he was let off the hook somewhat. But Mum and Luna were right in what they said. I mean, look at the fallout from the whole Bell incident. It was entirely his fault. Sometimes I do think ponies are far too forgiving, particularly when it comes to Discord. Then again, what’s done is done. There’s hardly much to be achieved hounding him about it now, years later.
Still, it played on my mind a little over dinner. And unbeknownst to any other us, Discord was planning to, at long last, make reparations.
After dinner and a wonderful Christmas pudding that Mum had spent days working on, our little group, now in a more relaxed mood all around, returned back to the living room for presents. I’d brought my gifts to Mum and Dad over a few days earlier, and they were now resting under the tree. Celestia and Luna too had brought presents for my parents. Dad had also gotten a couple little gifts for the two princesses. It was as all these exchanges were going on, that Discord offered up his own little trinket in an effort to make amends. While Celestia was thanking my old man for his gift, Discord, who had now returned to his armchair, turned to speak to my sister.
“I actually have a present for you as well, Lizzie,” he said, catching everypony’s attention.
“Me?” she answered, sounding a little surprised. After all, Discord rarely gave gifts, typically only getting something for Fluttershy and my dad, as well as Celestia.
“Well, you dear old mother here got me thinking,” he explained genially. “It was a rather unkind thing to do, turning you into a pegasus without your say so.” Lizzie however, unlike Mum, wasn’t quite so grudge bearing.
“It certainly freaked me out when you did it,” she agreed. “But if you hadn’t, where would I be now? I probably wouldn’t have met Dewdrop, and I certainly wouldn’t have my job.” Discord however, was determined to be mature for once.
“All very true, but as Luna and your mother said, the ends do not justify the means. It was still wrong of me to use my magic without your consent. Goodness knows I’ve made that mistake over and over again. When you have powers like mine, you get so used to messing with ponies for fun, you start to forget, or just ignore, the implications of what you’re doing. So permit me to use my magic one last time, to make it up to you.”
Snapping his talons, he produced a small box, wrapped in bright red paper and bound by a little green bow. Handing it to Lizzie, he bade her to open it. Inside was indeed a small little box; the sort of thing you might keep a watch in. Opening it, she turned it around to show us. It took me a couple moments to realise what I was looking at.
At first, I thought it was just another piece of jewellery; a gold necklace with a little gold, heart shaped locket on the chain. It wasn’t until Lizzie tried to open the locket up, and Discord stopped her, that I realised what it was.
“Ah, ah, ah,” he chided, putting a claw on Lizzie’s hoof. “I wouldn’t open that in here just yet. I don’t think anypony wants rainbows darting all over the place. Take it from me, being hit by one is not as pleasant as it sounds.”
“Discord,” Celestia said in a hushed tone. “Is that what I think it is?” Luna too was stunned into silence, as was I.
“What is it, Tia?” Dad prodded, more confused than anything. “This better not be some bloody dangerous artifact, Discord.”
“It’s not dangerous, Dad,” I said in a quiet, reverent voice before turning to Discord. “That’s the Rainbow of Light, isn’t it?”
The whole room went silent, half from amazement on the part of those of us who understood what we were looking at, and confusion for those of us that didn’t.
“So what is it?” Lizzie said after a moment, still holding onto the locket.
“A precursor to the Elements of Harmony,” I explained in a hushed tone. “The most powerful magic known to ponydom. But it comes from another version of the show. It shouldn’t even exist here.”
“Like Grogar shouldn’t?” Discord pointed out.
“Where did you get it?” Celestia asked in amazement. “More to the point how?”
“Well, technically, this isn’t the Rainbow of Light,” he explained. “It’s a facsimile, but I thought it would make a nice vessel for this bit of my magic.”
“Your magic?” Dad asked, now sounding more that a little concerned.
“One spell,” Discord explained. “Very similar to that pearl thingamajig Queen Novo had smashed into a million pieces. It will allow the wearer, when they open the locket, to transform from pegasus, to human, and back again.”
“So Lizzie can become human again?” Mum asked.
“Whenever she wants to,” Discord said with a nod. “And she can change back to the pegasus before you now too. Consider it, Lizzie, an old fool’s apology for being such a horse’s ass all these years.” He then turned to Celestia. “See, Cellie. I told you I was finally going to use my magic for good.”
Silence held for a moment as we all took in what had been said. Lizzie then got up, and with great care, opened up the locket. Instantly, a rainbow shot out and swirled around her, briefly hiding her from our sight. It very much reminded me of the Elements firing off, and I could sense powerful magic at play, both chaos based, but strangely, also the magic of friendship, albeit very faintly.
When the rainbow receded, returning back to the locket it came from, which closed with a snap, we found that the pegasus who had been standing there a moment ago was gone, and in her place was a girl in her early twenties, dressed in the same clothes she had been when this whole thing started.
“Lizzie!” my parents both exclaimed at once.
There followed much excited chattering and yammering as they both looked her over, and the two alicorns checked her over to be safe. Dewdrop seemed more surprised than anything to find his marefriend had suddenly shot up by well over a foot. With Lizzie though, all was well. The spell had indeed changed her back to her human form, and nothing else.
After a few minutes of getting used to being bipedal again, it was decided that we ought to check the reverse process worked just as well. And indeed, another rainbow whirlwind later, and Lizzie the pegasus pony stood before us, much to Dewdrop’s relief. Lizzie quickly checked herself over as it subsided.
“That’s amazing!” she exclaimed, turning around on the spot. “Thanks, Discord.”
“I know it doesn’t make up for what I did, but I hope it can be a beginning,” he said. All eyes now turned to my mum, who’d been the strongest detractor. She was quiet for a moment before she spoke.
“Well, considering you got made a fool of by your three apprentices, stripped of your powers, and rather publicly humiliated into the bargain,” she said. “I suppose this does make up for what you did. I don’t forget, Discord, and I’m not sure I can forgive, but I’m willing to let things lie. Provided you keep your magic off my kids, we won’t have any problems. It is the season of goodwill after all.”
Discord’s little admission and gift giving rather stole the show for the rest of the afternoon as we all chatted amicably around the fire. Eventually though, it came time for AJ and I to leave. The Apples had their own festivities after all. We had another good meal to attend, as well as one of the key traditions of Hearth’s Warming; raising Equestria’s flag, as it was so many moons ago.
Now, to my mind, as a Brit, this bit smacks of the Americans again for me. While flying a union flag (not jack, you only call it that when it flies from a jack staff on a man-o'-war) upside down is one of the quickest ways to annoy me, we don’t obsess over our colours quite as much as our colonial cousins, who seemed enamoured with ritualistically raising, lowering, folding, saluting, and burning theirs amongst other things. Obsessions with symbols smacks of darker European history, and another nation whose symbol was once an eagle, and so I’ve always been slightly uncomfortable with a similar tradition here in Equestria. Still, it is a more benign thing, symbolising the founding of the country and the unification of the three tribes, so I try not to carp about it.
We arrived back at Sweet Apple Acres, having had an already impressive Christmas lunch, for an even more elaborate Hearth’s Warming meal. AJ and I hadn’t had too much at my parents to avoid spoiling our appetites, but by the time the meal was done, we all felt positively stuffed. It certainly made getting ourselves outside for the flag raising a challenge. Still, we managed it.
Big Mac was the master of ceremonies here. The flag, although banner would be more accurate, was hand made by members of the Apple family long since passed. Each star was individually sewn, as were the two circling alicorns, and even the rays coming off the sun.
Actually, now that I think about it, considering this flag was first raised many years before the rule of the Two Sisters, it’s strange that they should be depicted on it. Revisionist history perhaps? After all, there was an Old Equestria once upon a time. Perhaps the three tribes way back when raised a very different set of colours to what we do now. Who knows, maybe soon it will be updated again to reflect the current state of affairs.
Regardless of that, Mac carefully attached the flag to the pole, which he and I had set up in the middle of the farmyard, and at Granny’s signal, ran it up, letting the slight breeze catch it, causing it to flutter slightly in the wind. Thus concluded the holiday of Hearth’s Warming. We’d leave the flag up for the rest of the day and then fetch it down when it dropped dark.
The next few days passed by steadily in that odd fashion that marks the time between Boxing Day and New Years, the former of which doesn’t exist in Equestria. Life on the farm remained reasonably quiet, with only the mornings being busy with chores. I visited my parents a couple more times, as well as Lizzie and Dewdrop. I also did my best to drop in on AJ’s friends, as well as Starlight and Sunburst.
Big Mac took advantage of the free time to start drawing up his plans to extend the farmhouse. He was planning a modest, two storey extension, which would both add a new bedroom and spare room for storage upstairs, but also increase the size of the kitchen downstairs. Of course, there was the small matter of having to knock through the original wall, but Mac reckoned that between the two of us, along with help from AJ and a few friends, we should be able to get it all done in just a few weeks. And given how much of the busy harvest work was in the autumn, we would have plenty of time in spring and the summer to do it. The two of us planned to start work on the foundations for the new extension after Winter Wrap Up.
As for the other Apples, Sugar Belle and AJ spent a lot of time together, getting to know each other more over the holiday. While Applejack had always been in favour of their marriage, she was still adjusting to the notion of her brother being married. I’d find myself feeling the same way about my own little sister.
Granny and Apple Bloom meanwhile had also kept themselves busy. Granny had used the free time to start looking into building a new cider press. Given how temperamental our current old girl had been this year, and possibly to stave off further questions about automation, the staunchly conservative mare had finally admitted that the press was past its prime and was looking into building a new one. While she may no longer be a young filly, Granny is still quite practical. After all, who do you think taught AJ all she knows about DIY?
Apple Bloom meanwhile had made a few trips, supervised of course, into the Everfree to visit Zecora, partly to get more potion making tips from her, but also to offer the zebra some companionship. After all, Zecora’s homeland and family are a great distance away, and while the enigmatic shaman clearly enjoys her solitude, I’m sure she appreciated the little filly coming by to keep her company at this festive time.
The year was winding down now. The snow had become a familiar sight, as had the Hearth’s Warming decorations. I’d find myself feeling more than a little disheartened in another week or so when we took all the decorations down. The walls always looked so bare, and the rooms so empty, once they were stripped of tree, tinsel and lights. But there was still plenty of merriment to be had in the meantime. After all, New Years was upon us.
This New Years celebration was to be quite the momentous event. After all the turmoil in the latter half of the year, a part of me was glad to see the back of it. There was this sense of optimism in the air; a new year, a new princess, old villains all finally defeated for good. Things were really looking up and ponies all over felt that we were entering a new golden age of harmony. And so rather than just having a little get together at the farmhouse, or at my parents place, all of Ponyville was coming together for one big celebration at the Castle of Friendship, now under Starlight’s care. Everypony was going to get together to ring in the new year. And unlike back on earth with the countdown in Time Square, Ponyville had the foresight to host the party indoors, with central heating and decent plumbing.
But more important that that was the news that we would be getting a very special guest. With her government now fully up and running, Princess Twilight Sparkle would be coming down to Ponyville to celebrate as well. I was certainly glad for that; we all were. While AJ and the others got to meet up with her once a month to touch base, I hadn’t seen much of her since my visit to Canterlot. While the princess would no doubt be a hot commodity, and any time with her limited, it would be nice to talk to Twilight again.
So, come December 31, AJ and I, along with the rest of the family, headed down to the castle. Granny had managed to get us a spot in the ad hoc food court that would keep all the guests fed over the evening, which she would be manning, leaving the rest of us free to spend time with our friends and significant others.
The castle was brightly lit when we arrived and it was clear that the party inside, courtesy of who else but Pinkie Pie, was in full swing. There was some security on the front door in the form of two Royal Guard pegasi, and I caught the occasional glimpse of a few more on balconies as we went inside. Ponyville, naturally, made up most of the guests. Pretty much everyone in town was here, from Cranky and Matilda, Nurse Redheart, Cheerilee, along with Lyra and Bon Bon. My parents were here too, along with Lizzie, and the three of them were happily chatting away together. Applejack meanwhile soon spotted her own friends, and we both temporarily parted ways. I meanwhile, went to say hi to my parents and little sister.
“Hey, everypony,” I said as I trotted up.
“Bones! We were just talking about you,” Dad said with a smile as I walked up.
“Oh, good things I hope,” I replied. Mum giggled, telling me she’d obviously had a bit of the punch already. Poor woman never could hold her liquor. Half a glass of wine, she giggles, and then falls fast asleep. Dad however, turned to Lizzie.
“Your sister here’s managed to reach one milestone in life before you, my lad,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I asked, turning to Lizzie.
“You want to tell him, sweetheart?” Dad asked her kindly.
My pegasus sibling was blushing adorably, something Lizzie isn’t normally given too, never mind the positively giddy look on her face right now. Her explanation came gushing out like a waterfall of words.
“Dewdrop asked me to marry him!” she exclaimed excitedly, revealing a necklace with a ring on it “We’d both been talking about it for the last couple of months, and then this morning he got down on one knee at breakfast! I’m getting married, Bones!”
The news hit me like a tonne of bricks. Our Lizzie getting married? She was in her mid twenties now, but a part of me still saw the little toddler I used to have to look after all those years ago. The notion of her doing something quite so grown up as tie the knot caused quite the bit of cognitive dissonance in my head. And in a way, it even made me a little sad to think that Lizzie was no longer that little kid any more, just as I wasn’t. It kind of made me feel old now that I come to think of it.
Still, I quickly pushed that bit of melancholy aside. There was no way I wouldn’t be happy for her. Having known him for quite some time, I knew Dewdrop to be a stand up guy. The two of them made a cute couple together. So I did all that I could do without bursting into tears like Mum seemed to be about to. Pulling my little sister into a hug, I did my best to be a good big brother.
“Congratulations, sis,” I said.
Before I even released her, Mum started to blubber a little. She’d apparently been doing so on and off, in a happy way mind you, ever since Lizzie broke the news. Dad reaching into his breast pocket and offered her a handkerchief.
“So when is the wedding?” I asked as I released Lizzie.
“Your Mum and your sister both think a longer engagement will be for the best,” Dad explained as Lizzie went to look after Mum. “She and Dewdrop are looking to do something in the summer, around the Summer Sun...” He caught himself. “I mean the Festival of the Two Sisters.”
“Still getting used to that, eh?” I prodded jokingly as we both walked over to the little buffet and helped ourselves to some drinks.
“Yeah. It still feels weird going into court and seeing little Twilight Sparkle there. Well, actually...” he stopped himself again.
“Actually, what?” I prodded. Dad smiled in that way he does when he knows something I don’t.
“Why don’t you go and say hello to her, Bones. It’s fairly obvious, particularly for you.”
I was half tempted to just keep poking him verbally, and possibly physically, until he spilled the beans on what he knew. But usually when he did this it was a good surprise. Usually. So, after nursing my drink musingly for a moment, I acquiesced.
“Alright then,” I agreed. “Where is Twilight anyhow?” I’d expected to find her in here in the main hall. But while there was a sizeable crowd of ponies in here, there was no alicorn princess to be seen.
“Where else do you think Twilight’s going to be, Bones?” Dad asked with a laugh. “Head on through to the library. She and her friends are all in there catching up.” He gestured down the hallway toward the library, which was pretty quiet, given how most of the party guests were in the main hall or the map room.
Heading down the familiar corridor, I made my way to the library. I hadn’t been here much since the coronation. While I have nothing against Starlight, the castle’s new custodian, it sort of felt wrong with Twilight not being around. I had to privately admit that I found myself missing my occasional study sessions with her. It would certainly be nice to see her again. In fact, the chance to catch up with my friend in such an informal setting had so occupied my mind, that I forget my Dad’s hint about something being up. That lasted right up until I walked in and came face to face with my friend.
One thing I had idly been wondering about was the effect becoming Princess of Equestria would have on Twilight. While it had been subtle, after she became an alicorn, Twilight had gained a couple of inches on her unicorn self. She was still shorter than me, and not noticeably taller than anypony else. In fact, it had taken me a while to clock it back when I was watching Season 4 back on Earth. Celestia, Luna, and Cadence, were all noticeably taller than your average mare, mainly due to the vast amounts of magic they possessed. When Luna first returned from exile, she was in such a de-powered state that she reverted to her original form. Only later, as her magic returned, did she regain her normal form and stature. The same could be said for Celestia, who was once a normal sized pony with a pinkish mane. Only after they became Equestria’s rulers did they begin to take on the forms we’re familiar with. I’d figured that the minor spurt following her ascension was this for Twilight. After all, Cadence, had not experienced such effects. While taller than the average, she was not outside the norm, look at Fleur de Lis for instance, nor did her mane develop the unusual properties Celestia’s and Luna’s did. However, walking into the library, I found my belief quite untrue.
All six of them were gathered around one of the tables, happily chattering away, and they all looked up when I opened the door and trotted in.
“Hey, everypony,” I said, waving a hoof in greeting. “Hope you don’t mind me dropping by too.”
“Of course not, Blade Star,” Twilight said with a grin as she pivoted around on her chair to face me.
She was wearing her new crown; a fusion of the crowns of Equestria’s former rulers. Unlike her old Princess of Friendship crown, protocol didn’t really allow her to take it off in public.
Leaving her friends to continue catching up, Twilight got down from her chair and trotted over to me. It was then that I realised the difference.
She was taller than me.
It was only by an inch or two, but it was definitely noticeable. I’d say we’d effectively swapped our height difference from the last time we met. Now I’m average height for a unicorn, and apart from the princesses, Big Mac, and Shining Armor, there isn’t really anypony that I have to look up to. So it was a little strange to find myself looking up at Twilight, even if only slightly.
“Twilight, you’re taller!” I exclaimed in surprise. Twilight grinned bashfully.
“It’s a little strange isn’t it?” she admitted. “Celestia said I might get a little taller as my body adjusts to the increase in magic. Moving the sun and moon every day does build magical strength after all. What do you think?”
Now, let me explain, just as muscles grow as they are regularly used, magic can increase in power, to a certain point, by the same token. While muscles grow in size, a being’s body adjusts to accommodate the magical energy. We saw this with the likes of Tirek, and the way the Bell affected him, Chrysalis and Cozy. It had also happened to Twilight before when she became an alicorn; her body now having alicorn magic. How much this would affect Twilight would not become apparent for some time. It depended on the pony. After all, Celestia and Luna have comparable magic, but Celestia is markedly taller than her sibling or Cadence.
“It certainly suits you,” I said after recovering from the surprise. “I imagine it makes it a little easier to get ponies to listen to you. How tall do you think you’ll get?” Twilight shrugged.
“I’m not sure yet,” she answered. “But Shining Armor is starting to get worried that his little sister is going to become his big sister soon.” I chuckled at that.
“Yeah, it must be bad enough having a younger sibling who outstrips you magically and has saved the world, by my count, fourteen times now. Shoot, half of those you either saved his tail, or Cadence’s.”
“Oh come on, Blade Star,” Twilight said with a grin. “You know I’m not one to tease my big brother like that. Although I am pretty tempted.” We both laughed at that, before Twilight invited me to join the rest of them.
“So, growth spurts aside,” I said as I sat down next to her. “How’s life as a princess been treating you?”
“Actually, it’s not been too bad, so far,” Twilight replied. “I mean, the first few weeks for a little difficult, but Celestia and your dad really helped me get settled in. I think everypony just needed time to adjust to everything.”
“I still have a hard time believing it even now,” Rarity admitted.
“That’s for sure,” Rainbow agreed. “Not that I don’t see you as a princess, Twi, but I still see you as that book reading egghead.”
“I think that’s a good thing,” Applejack jumped in. “We all agreed when this whole thing started that we wouldn’t let it affect our friendship. If Twilight has to be Princess Twilight Sparkle everywhere else, at least with us, she can be just Twilight.”
“I can’t even imagine calling you, your highness,” Fluttershy said quietly.
I still don’t get why Twilight isn’t Queen Twilight now,” Pinkie said curiously.
“Because Queen Celestia didn’t fly at the Hasbro pitch meeting,” I responded jokingly.
“Oh, that makes sense,” she replied understandingly. “At least they came up with the idea of getting John De Lancie to voice Discord.”
I swear, that mare never ceases to surprise.
Then seven of us chattered away for the next while, getting caught up with each other’s lives. Truth be told, if it wasn’t for Twilight creating the Council of Friendship, it would be pretty tricky for them all to get together like this. I too was glad to get some time with the Element bearers. While I saw AJ every day, and Fluttershy and Dash often enough, it was nice to also spend some time with Rarity and Pinkie, who I crossed paths with less frequently.
Eventually though, there came a knock at the door, and a young guard entered.
“Sorry to bother you, your highness,” he said with a quick bow. “But it’s almost midnight.”
Ah yes, time to ring in the new year. Twilight thanked the young sentry and the seven of us headed back to the main hall.
Returning to the main hall, we all found that everypony, or rather everycreature, was ready for the final countdown. Twilight, along with her guards peeled off. The princess was to give a speech just before the clock struck midnight. I meanwhile rejoined my family, both of my families. Standing in the crowd, on one side of me were my parents, along with Lizzie and Dewdrop, and on the other, AJ and the rest of the Apple family. And around us all were our friends and neighbours from all around Ponyville. My social circle has definitely expanded a lot since I got here. The crowd steadily fell silent and the chattered died down as Twilight came up to the specially prepared podium to give her speech. Activating her magic, she levitated up a good stack of note cards and quickly cleared her throat before beginning.
“Hello, everypony,” she began. “And welcome to Ponyville’s annual new years’ celebration. Tonight we gather together to usher in a new year, for ourselves and Equestria as a whole. It has been a year of great changes and upheaval for so many of us, myself included. But as I stand here today, surrounded by friends, family, and fellow ponies from all walks of life, I cannot help but feel optimistic for the year ahead. We have faced trial and adversity, and together, through friendship, we have triumphed and brought about an age of harmony unrivalled in our history.
“Why standing here now, we have ponies from all three tribes, crystal ponies from the Frozen North, griffons, yaks, changelings, kirin, zebras, and even humans from a world beyond our own. I cannot think of a better way of showing what the magic of friendship is truly capable of. Once upon a time, our races were divided, and even ponies were racked with discord and mistrust of each other. But here, today, we all stand together. It is my sincere hope that this coming year will allow us to only further strengthen those bonds we have forged. And so, in that spirit, I hope you’ll all join me in the countdown. Spike?”
Twilight turned to her young dragon assistant, who was hovering up by the large clock that had been set up. The second hand was slowly creeping around towards twelve. The small band that had been assembled for the occasion also prepared themselves.
“Twenty seconds, Twilight,” he reported. Twilight nodded.
“Alright everypony, join me in the countdown. Ten...”
We all started to join in as the seconds ticked by.
“Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...”
“Happy New Year!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, firing off her party cannon and blanketing everypony with confetti. The band meanwhile struck up that old song, which, while having Coltic origins here in Equestria, was still used for the same tradition.
We all joined hands, hooves, wings, and claws to sing in the new year together. And as the old Scotch tune soldiered on, I couldn’t help but reflect on all that had happened this year. It sure had been an interesting time.
Now I wonder what the next will bring?
Author's Note
And so we come to the last chapter. I hope you've all enjoyed the story as much as I did writing it. Let me know what you think in the comments down below. Here's hoping Twilight is right and this year is better than the last.
April brought on two things. First of all, April Fool’s Day, which was effectively the start of open season as far as Rainbow Dash was concerned. From the moment she got up until the town clock struck twelve, we were all bombarded by pranks. Still, at least they were a little more tame this year, instead of being something close to mean. I think she might have learned her lesson after the whole cookie incident. I must say, it was rather fun to play a zombie for a day and scare the living daylights out of her.
She certainly seems to have learned her lesson from that experience in any case. Whereas on previous occasions she’d hidden an occupied bee hive in one of the apple trees I was harvesting (and for the record, I was, and remain, utterly terrified of bees, wasps, and hornets. My response to all of them is to begin casting as many fire spells as possible), which resulted in the nest full of angry insects landing right on my head, splitting it open, and saw me chased all over the farm, to say nothing of what it did to my pre-existing phobia. This year, she went for the much more simple, and actually more impressive act of filling my wardrobe with apples from the barn. When I opened it to grab a few things, I was bombarded with a bumper crop. I still have no idea how she did it without waking me, although something tells me she and Pinkie have teamed up this year. And it was funny enough, not taking that much effort, well not for a unicorn such as myself, to clean up. A quick teleportation spell had them back where they belonged.
Beyond the humorous practical jokes though, April also saw a somewhat unwelcome change in the weather. While March had been reasonably mild, with most days being clear, and actually quite warm, April was set to change that. It was time to bring on the April showers. We’d had the sunlight now we needed the rain to properly kick start the germination process and get all the crops on their way. That meant several days of heavy rain and occasional high winds, neither of which were particularly fun.
While weather might be ‘controlled’ in Equestria, in that the pegasi are able to manipulate clouds and so forth to create rain or thunderstorms, or snow showers, as well as moving them away for clearer weather, they don’t really control the actual storm as it happens. They start it up and shut it down, and make sure it stays where it’s supposed to, but little else. That means that sometimes, a storm can be more powerful than the weather team intended, and that was precisely what happened one Wednesday night.
It was raining heavily again as we all gathered around the fire for warmth. The constant rain had brought a couple of leaks too, meaning my room now had two pots on the floor catching dripping rainwater, AJ had said she was going to take a look at the roof tomorrow when the storm had died down. For the moment though, I had to put up with the sound of the water dripping all night long. Along with the rain though, the wind was really getting up. I’d run into Rainbow Dash the other day in town, and she’d warned me that things really would kick off tonight, with forecasts of gale force nine across the whole valley. Not weather you’d want to be caught out in.
What concerned us though, was that the strong winds would probably fell a few of the trees in the orchards. You get a blustery day, and we normally spend the next day or so gathering up loose branches that have been blown away, but this was getting up to the level of that storm back in the ‘80’s that flattened half the Home Counties.
The one Michael Fish assured us wasn’t coming. That turned out to be the most powerful storm in two centuries they reckoned. At least I knew weather pegasi couldn’t miss the mark by that much.
Still, it was a worry. Felled trees meant a lower crop yield, which meant a reduced profit come harvest season, which meant less in the way of savings to get us through the winter. Like I said, farms both here and on Earth operate on a close margin. I’d seen a bad thunderstorm storm devastate a cattle herd back home that left the farmer all but bankrupt.
The upside was though, that this early in the year, we could still plant new apple trees and have a hope to get something out of them by autumn instead of two or three years. As crazy as that sounds, remember, we have a certain filly who’s spent a lot of time learning about potions, including ones that can induce rapid growth. Apple Bloom’s hobby had inadvertently become a nice safety net for us.
As another powerful gust of wind hit, roaring down the fireplace, I took a look out the window at the driving rain. There’d been no thunder or lightening yet, but it looked like it might go that way before long.
“Hellfire, it’s really comin’ down, ain’t it?” I offered to the rest of the family, who were scattered on the sofas and chairs around the room.
“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed, also looking out the nearby window.
“I ain’t see it this bad for a long while,” Applejack agreed.
“Ah phooey!” Granny Smith countered. “You young‘uns don’t know what a storm is. Why, back when I was just a filly, the whole of the Canterhorn valley got hit with a storm straight out of the Everfree Forest. It tore clean through the farm and took half of Ponyville with it before the pegasus ponies got it under control.”
Applejack decided not to mention that, about a year ago, she’d been clinging on for dear life amidst an actual tornado brought on by that insane monkey, the Storm King, misusing the magic of four alicorns. At least this wasn’t that, and I was certainly glad that that stupid staff of his had, after careful study, been returned to whence it came, the Tree of Harmony, so that nocreature could misuse it again.
“I just hope it stops soon,” Apple Bloom said. Her head was low and her ears splayed back, mimicking Winona, who was sitting right up in front of the fireplace. Neither of them liked storms.
“Don’t you worry, Apple Bloom,” AJ reassured her little sister. “This’ll all be over soon. I just hope the trees stand up to all this wind.”
After that, the six of us fell into silence again. There wasn’t really too much to do this evening. We’d all had dinner, but this storm seemed to have put a real dampener on our spirits.
“Say, why don’t we play a game?” I suggested.
Ponies, like humans, have plenty of board games specifically designed to pass the time on rainy Wednesday afternoons. However, just as with humans, they also have the same flaw.
“I don’t know, Bones,” AJ said. “I don’t think anypony here wants a repeat of that Monopoly fiasco.”
Ah yes. Monopoly is now banned in this house due to some...unpleasantness. It wasn’t my fault though. Big Mac was the one who decided to ‘rob’ the bank when he went bankrupt. The set was now safely buried out on the farm somewhere.
“Well, there must be something else we can play,” I persisted. “Mac, how about you teach us that O&O game you play with Discord and Spike?”
“Nnope,” the large stallion replied. “Takes too long to set up, and all the rulebooks and dice are at Twilight’s castle.”
“There’s gotta be somethin’,” Apple Bloom said.
In the end, it was Granny Smith who came up with the idea. While we were throwing ideas around, she’d walked off, only to return a minute or so later, with a dealer’s visor, a pack of playing cards, and a small case full of poker chips.
“Come on, you four,” she said. “Gather round. It’s ‘bout time y’all learned to play Poker any how.”
We were all a little caught off guard. I always figured Granny used those cards to play Bridge with her fellow OAPs. But instead, here she was, setting out the chips for five around the round dining table that sat in the living room.
I myself knew how to play poker, mainly due to too many hours spent playing Far Cry 3 and Red Dead Redemption. And luckily for me, Granny called the game as Dodge City Hold ‘em. Of course, this was still my first time playing against real people.
Mac too was familiar with the game, having picked it up from Braeburn when he last went down to Appleloosa. Applejack and Apple Bloom though weren’t too familiar with the rules. So, for the benefit of them, and any of you who don’t know how to play Texas Hold ’em, I explained.
“It ain’t too hard,” I said. "Everypony sits round the table, and the dealer gives everypony two cards that they keep secret. Then there’s a round of bettin’. You have to match the current bet to stay in the game. But if ya think your hand ain’t worth it, ya can fold and lose any money ya put in so far.
“After the first round of bets, the dealer deals three cards in the middle of the table that everypony can see. The idea is to use your two cards, and the cards on the table to make the best five card hand. After another round of betting, the dealer deals another card, the Turn, then everypony bets again, then there’s one more card dealt; the River. After one more round of bets, everypony still in the round shows their two cards. Whoever has the best hand wins the pot.”
I, along with Granny, then went on to explain the various hands and their value, the small and big blinds, checking, side pots, and the other minutiae of poker. Granny also reassured them both that they’d learn through playing and, with the chips she had, they could re-buy a few times if they busted out. And of course, it would be with just chips, rather than any money changing hands. Just a nice friendly little home game.
And so, with everything explained, we all took our places, gathered our chips and made a start, with Granny Smith serving as dealer for the first round. After having me use my magic to shuffle the cards, she dealt out the hole cards to us. Folding up the one corner, I took a look at mine. Two and jack, off suit. Applejack and Apple Bloom meanwhile posted the blinds.
“Call,” I said, pushing a couple of chips forward to match the big blind. No sense kicking things off too early and unsettling the new players.
“Eeyup,” Big Mac said, pushing his own chips forward.
“I’ll see that,” Granny said, already giving a good poker face as she pushed her own chips forward.
“Nah, I’ll fold,” Applejack said, pushing her cards forward with a look of disgust that can only be seen when you draw a seven and two off.
“And I’ll check,” Apple Bloom said, tapping her hoof twice on the table.
Granny now dealt the Flop; the first three community cards to help us build a winning hand. Out came a ten of spades, three of diamonds, and a ten of hearts. A pair, but not much to work with.
“Check,” Apple Bloom said again, frowning slightly. The turn passed to her first, since AJ had folded.
“Check,” I agreed.
“Check,” agreed Big Mac. It seemed none of us had gotten much out of the Turn. Or at least, that’s what we wanted everypony else to think. Things now turned to Granny again.
“Hmm...I’ll bet,” she said after a moment. That was too much for Apple Bloom.
“I’ll fold,” she said, her cards joining her big sister’s. I however, didn’t scare so easily. Let’s see if we can’t rattle old Granny.
“I’ll raise,” I said, putting double the last bet forward.
“I’ll see that,” Mac replied.
“Me too,” Granny said. She then dealt the Turn, which was a two. Nice, two pair! It was my turn again.
“I’ll raise ten,” I said, putting a few more of my chips in the pot. Mac met my eyes for a moment.
“Your ten, and ten more.”
“Macintosh Apple!” Granny Smith scolded him. “Your mama taught ya better than to re-raise.”
“Sorry, Granny,” he said apologetically. She then looked at the cards and her own.
“Ah, fiddlesticks! Fold.”
Now it was just me and Mac as the River came out. I hoped for another two to make a nice full house. What I got was a scary looking king. Mac didn’t seem to be rattled by it. Still, I’d come this far. In for a penny in for a pound. I could still try to bluff my way past him.
“Call,” I said in a calm, low voice.
Mac and I locked eyes as we stared each other down across the table. Friendly game or not, a showdown was still a showdown. I did my best to keep my expression neutral, which was exactly what Big Mac was doing, only I expect he was doing a much better job.
“Call,” he said finally.
With that, I flipped over my cards, showing a jack and a two.
“Two pair, tens over twos,” Granny declared before turning to Mac.
With a somewhat smug grin, Mac showed his cards, another ten and a four. Sod it!
“Trip tens,” Granny said. “Big Macintosh wins the pot.”
Big Mac chuckled as scooped up the chips.
Luckily for me though, he wouldn’t be laughing for too long. A few hands later, which saw me win a couple of hands, along with Apple Bloom and split one pot with Granny, Mac and Applejack were locked in a showdown. At the flop, there was a two, a five, and a queen down. At the turn, it was joined by a six, and at the river by the ace of spades. Mac, having drawn pocket aces, had been quite bold in his betting, but Applejack had matched him at every turn. After seeing the river, and knowing he had three aces, he went all in, which Applejack reciprocated. I can’t tell you how enjoyable it was to see his face when AJ revealed her three and four, giving her a nice straight that busted Mac out and forced him to re-buy.
The game continued all through the evening, and really helped to take our minds off the storm. We all chatted as the game worked its way around. We celebrated and lamented our changes in fortune, and in general just had a good old time. I suggested to Mac that maybe he could do this next Guys’ Night. The red stallion replied they’d tried it once, and Discord kept cheating by making the hole cards tell him what they were.
We went to bed that night, after wrapping up the game, a lot more relaxed than when we had started. Now it was just a case of seeing how bad the damage was tomorrow morning.
The next morning, after breakfast and a couple mugs of strong coffee, Big Mac and I headed out, along with Applejack, to take a look at the damage. Leaving the farmhouse, we set off into the orchards. Unsurprisingly, the place was covered with branches that had been blown loose from trees in the storm. We’d gather this all up later, once we’d gotten a good look around and checked for any major damage. Initially though, apart from a few large branches, the trees seemed to have survived the maelstrom.
However, when we reached the outskirts of the west orchard, we came across quite the scene. Several of the older apple trees in this section, some of which were quite old by apple tree standards, had been felled by the high winds. It had evidently been quite a gale. While most had at one point or another snapped at the trunk, leaving an ugly, jagged half behind, some had been completely pulled up, roots and all.
“Sweet Celestia!” I exclaimed. “Those winds must have been blowin’ at a hundred miles an hour! You ever seen anythin’ like this, Mac?”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied. “Back when I was a colt; a bad winter storm blew in when Applejack was still livin’ with Aunt and Uncle Orange in Manehattan. I reckon the same thing happened here; a regular storm got out of hoof.”
“I sure hope so,” Applejack agreed. “Or else me and Rainbow Dash are gonna have words about the way she runs her show up there.”
I took a look around, counting the felled or otherwise destroyed trees. It was a real mess and provoked a strong feeling of sadness, seeing how these ancient patriarchs that had stood for so long had been so callously cut down. The only sadder image I could immediately bring to mind was a photograph my grandad had shown me from the last war, of a downed Spitfire that had crashed in a field near his house. It’s engine shot to bits and it’s propeller twisted around the cowling. The poor thing had looked like a fine racehorse that had taken a bad fall. Still, as sad as it was to see these dead trees, there weren’t too many. In the grand scheme of things, we’d gotten pretty lucky.
“What do you want to do with all this then, AJ?” I asked, turning to her. The cowpony pushed her stetson back as she thought for a moment.
“I reckon,” she said. “We take these out of the ground, stumps and all, and plant some of the older saplings in their place. At least we ain’t too far from the fruit bat reservation. We’ll see if Fluttershy was right about those trees bein’ stronger.”
Ah, of course! Just across the way from here, was a somewhat wild looking orchard, which had been given over to a swarm of vampire fruit bats. These little beasties had turned up a few years ago. In fact ‘Bats’ was one of the last episodes I saw before I wound up here. While Applejack had initially tried to drive the bats away, she and Granny Smith had ultimately been convinced to allow one section of the orchard to be given to them. They’d eat the apples on the trees, and pass the seeds. These would then, according to Fluttershy, grow into stronger apple trees that would offer a more bountiful harvest.
The section of the farm, which I’d jokingly dubbed, The Rez, was pretty much sealed off so as not to disturb the bats, who don’t exactly like visitors. Directly next door was a sort of nursery, where saplings from the seeds on the Rez were planted. Right now, a lot of these saplings were old enough to no longer be considered saplings, but not quite full grown either. In any case, they were big enough to transplant into the now vacant spots here, and would offer a reasonable yield come autumn.
“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed. “I’ll go fetch some rope and some tools along with the wagon.” AJ turned to her older brother.
“You okay to pull the stumps out, Mac?”
“Eeyup,” came the reply. This is what Mac is best at. Even Applejack has a time pulling out stumps on her own.
“I’ll go take a look around the Rez and pick out a few of the stronger saplings to transplant, then I’ll go find Apple Bloom. You boys haul out the dead trees, and we’ll plant the new saplings.”
“Okay, AJ,” I said.
With that, the three of us parted ways. Applejack headed for the fruit bats, I headed back to the house to get the necessary gear, while Mac took a closer look at the trees in question in order to get an idea of how we were going to get them out.
Heading back to the farmhouse, I found Granny Smith washing up after breakfast and Apple Bloom, since it was the weekend, sitting at the table doing some homework. I let the two of them know what we’d found after taking a look around, and AJ’s plan.
“Ah, it’s always a cryin’ shame when one of the older trees goes,” she said sadly. “But it’s a necessary process. Gotta make room for the new young saplings to step up. Can’t go keepin’ around old trees forever. Especially when they start producin’ less and less apples each season. Still, at least we didn’t lose too many. Those vampire fruit bat varmints really seem to come in handy though, since those trees will be much tougher to take down when the wind gets up. When you and Big Macintosh have gotten them all cut up into lumber, bring ‘em back here and I’ll make a start on firewood. Might even sell a bit to those arts and craft fellas at the art gallery in town.”
“Yeah, it is sad, Granny,” I agreed. “But like you say, at least they’re still useful. You sure you’re gonna be okay doin’ the firewood though?” That got the old matriarch to give me her signature look, one that Applejack has inherited.
“I may be gettin’ a little long in the tooth, but that don’t mean I can’t pull my weight, Bones,” she fired back. I kept my distance when she shouldered up the axe.
“AB?” I said, turning to the little filly, who’d kept her eyes on her maths homework. “You alright to head on out to the Rez and help Applejack pick out some saplings?” The filly’s ears splayed at the mention of the Rez. Just as I don’t like insects, she doesn’t like bats.
“I gotta go in there?” she said, a little fearfully. “With all them bats?” I smiled and did my best to reassure her.
“Bats are like bees, Apple Bloom. If you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you.”
To be fair, as much as I was afraid of bees, I’d found this to be the case. To this day, I’ve never been stung by one, after all, for bees, that’s a kamikaze move. It was the only way I’d found to reduce my fear and take steps to getting past it. Now wasps on the other hand, they’re more of the “you don’t bother us, but we’ll fuck you up anyway” type of guys. Hence why I abhor the horrid little insects and make sure to get rid of any nests as soon as I find them. As to bats, I’d actually found the vampire fruit bats to be remarkably civil, considering all the unpleasantness they’d dealt with from ponies in the past. They’re not sapient like cattle or sheep, but they’re not mindless animals either. Hence how we struck our current deal with them; they kept to the Rez, and we didn’t bother them, except to take new saplings.
“If you say so, Bones,” she said, still sounding a little uneasy.
“Hey, c’mon. They ain’t timberwolves,” I said. “Besides, AJ will be there with you. Ya ain’t got nothin’ to worry about.” Apple Bloom pondered that for a moment.
“Well, Scootaloo said that the best thing to do with a fear is to face it. That’s what Princess Luna told her to do.” I let out a laugh.
“Yeah, I remember,” I replied. “And she’s right too.”
With that, Apple Bloom trotted off towards the orchards. I meanwhile, headed out of the house and around the other side to the barn entrance to pick up the wagon, as well as a few saws, axes, and some heavy duty rope.
Having collected everything together, I returned to Big Mac with the wagon. The two of us first set to work cutting down the remaining husks of the trees. While the trees had been felled, many had split at the trunk, and it would be much harder to remove the remainder of the tree if this wasn’t tended to first. Mac and I worked together to cut them down until only seven neat stumps remained. Still, that was the easiest part.
The trees cut down, we now turned our attention to removing the stumps. First of all, we had to dig around the stump to expose the roots of each tree. The two of us set to work, Mac using his mouth, and me utilising my magic. Given the age of these trees, the root systems were extensive, and once exposed, these had to be cut away from the stump. To save time, instead of using axes, I again resorted to my magic, this time using a simple enough fire spell as a cutting beam to neatly cut through the roots. With that done, the two of us hitched ourselves up to a length of rope each, wrapped it around the stump, and used good old fashioned pony power to finally pull the stump free. With that done, all we had to do was fill in the hole. Sound easy? Try doing that six more times in one sitting.
While we were working on tree number five, Applejack and Apple Bloom returned from their expedition, along with Winona. Mac and I were busy working to ensure all the old tree’s roots had been dug up and removed, so that the new tree, when it was planted in its place, would have plenty of nutrition, and wouldn’t struggle to find room to grow its own system. The pair arrived, with AJ towing a small cart behind her with seven young saplings, each held in a large pot.
“Hey, AJ,” I said as I looked up from my work. “Are those the new transplants?”
“Sure are, Bones,” she said. “Picked ‘em myself, with help from Apple Bloom of course.” The little filly beamed at that. She’s rapidly starting to take up more of the workload on the farm these days.
“Well,” I went on, pausing to wipe some sweat of my forehead. “These four are all ready for you to plant. We’ve fetched out the stump and pretty much all the old roots, so they should have no trouble settlin’ in. We’re just about finished with this one, but it’s gonna be a while until we’re done.”
“No worries, sugarcube,” she said, unhitching herself from the cart. “Me and Apple Bloom can help out too.”
Winona too seemed inclined to help, for she quickly started digging at the tree roots that Mac and I were working to expose. The collie’s paws quickly tore through the soil, almost as fast as a shovel. Grabbing some spare tools, the two Apple sisters joined in as well; AJ helped dig around the roots, while Apple Bloom helped expose the smaller ones so that I could cut them away.
“So how was the Rez anyway?” I asked, making conversation as we worked.
“Not so bad,” Apple Bloom said. “You were right about them bats, Bones. This time of day, they’re all pretty much asleep. They didn’t bother me or Applejack none, or Fluttershy either.”
“Fluttershy?” I asked curiously. My little sister’s roommate, and bearer of the Element of Kindness, as well as animal care expert was normally to be found in her cottage, tending to her many animal friends. It was odd to hear of her coming over this way, although given how she had previously championed the cause of the vampire fruit bats, it wasn’t unexpected.
“She’s been checkin’ on the bats,” Applejack explained. “Makin’ sure that they’re stickin’ to their part of the farm and ain’t over huntin’. Apparently they can start going through their food supply real quick when they get whipped up into a feedin’ frenzy. And of course, she made sure we kept quiet as mice while diggin’ up the saplings. No sense in wakin’ them all up.”
Yeah, ain’t that the truth,” Mac agreed. A couple years ago, he’d inadvertently disturbed a group of bats that had been nesting in one of the trees off the Rez. Needless to say, he hadn’t much cared for the cacophony of noise, or the resultant swarming of bats.
“Is she still out there?” I asked as I finished cutting away the last of the roots and helped Apple Bloom sling the rope around the stump.
“I think so,” AJ replied. “Why?” I shrugged my shoulders
“Oh, just though I might go and say hello when we’re done here,” I said.
With the extra hands, or rather hooves, we soon had the old trees uprooted and had installed their successors. The young saplings looked out of place right now but with time, and just a little bit of help from Apple Bloom and her love of chemistry, we should be able to get a reasonable crop out of them by the tail end of Applebuck Season.
Applejack then declared it her intention to take a look around the fence line near the Everfree, and also check on the cattle to ensure that they’d not suffered any mishap during the unusually strong storm. Apple Bloom headed back to the farm to resume her homework, while I went in search of Fluttershy.
While Sweet Apple Acres is usually picturesque enough, the vampire fruit bat reservation is the exception that proves the rule. Contained behind a large chain link fence, and accessible by only two gates, both of which are covered with numerous warning signs to keep ponies out, the place is overgrown, dark and foreboding, looking more like somepony took a chunk of the Everfree Forest and dropped it into the farm than anything else.
I suppose it makes sense though. After all, the orchards are carefully maintained by ponies. This was nature being given a free rein, and what is the Everfree but a wild place? I found the padlocked gate still unlocked, with the key in the brass lock, so I knew Fluttershy was still in there. Opening the gate, which just to add more to the mood, decided to let out an ominous creak as it opened and closed, I headed inside, following the somewhat overgrown trail to the centre, where I figured I’d find Fluttershy.
As I made my way through the Rez, I began to feel as though I was being watched. While I couldn’t see them in the trees, I had no doubt that dozens of beady little eyes were trained on me right now. I tried to remember the advice I’d given to Apple Bloom; don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. It didn’t work particularly well though, and before too long, my heart was going like a drum.
“Don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. Don’t bother them, they won’t bother you,” I kept repeating to myself in a comforting mantra. Not that it did much to calm me as I heard an eerie shriek close at hand. I started in fright as I tried to track the sudden fluttering of leathery wings.
Still, I pushed on. If nothing else, I’d never be able to face Apple Bloom if I chickened out. And after all, this place was perfectly safe, and if Fluttershy was willing to come here, clearly not as scary as I thought.
“Calm down, Bones,” I said to myself. “You’re lettin’ your mind play tricks on you. Only thing out there is fruit bats and your friend. And even if there was somethin’ else, you’ve dealt with worse. You stood up to Tirek, fought the Tantabus to save Luna, you even got caught up in that mess in Canterlot. You’re not some horror movie extra.”
This line of thought lasted right up until I entered the next clearing. It was here, according to AJ, that I’d find Fluttershy, and indeed I did. However, what I found was a little...unusual, to say the least.
Walking into the clearing, I found it filled with fruit bats, all suspended upside down from the tree branches. A little unsettling perhaps, but nothing out of the ordinary. What was out of the ordinary was the butter yellow, pink maned pegasus also hanging with them, her tail wrapped around the branch above her.
As I walked into the clearing, the bats, and the pegasus began to stir, and Fluttershy turned to look at me, the drained husk of an apple in her mouth. My mind instantly went back to one fleeting moment of MLP, the ending of ‘Bats’, where it was shown that the whole ‘Flutterbat’ issue hadn’t quite been resolved. I’d occasionally wondered about that, since it was never referenced again, and nopony since had made mention of it.
This unnerving sight however, brought the memory back with a vengeance. And a resulting response, which was me screaming like a little filly.
Instead of leaping at me to devour me though, this horrifying apparition instead giggled and then burst out laughing. The two noises were more than enough to disturb the sleeping bats around us, who promptly awoke and took off in a swarm for quieter quarters.
For a moment, I stood there in shock and surprise, until one key detail clicked in my head. The manic cackling I was hearing wasn’t Fluttershy’s soft chuckle. It was…
“Discord!” I roared as I recovered myself. “I know it’s you!”
‘Flutterbat’ remained in her tree for a moment, howling with laughter and rocking back and forth with her tail. Shortly thereafter though, there was a flash of bright light and Flutterbat turned into Discord, who quickly uncoiled his tail from the tree.
As he landed on his mismatched feet, I glared at the draconequus. Discord’s strange mismatched form mirrored his unstable mind. Still, at least, thanks to the real Fluttershy, and one small mistake on his part involving a centaur, he’s reformed these days, and the worst he’ll do is...well, that. Between fits of laughter, he greeted me.
“Oh, you should have seen your face, Bones,” he said as he doubled up with glee. “In fact, here it is.”
With another snap of his eagle talons, his head turned into an approximation of mine, and let out a decidedly unmasculine scream.
Discord and I have a bit of a complicated relationship. I wouldn’t exactly call us friends, but nor do I consider him an enemy. At one time or another though, he’s been both. With my knowledge of MLP, I sort of knew what to expect from him when our paths first crossed. And being from another world and all, he does seem to find me interesting. The result of that is I have to put up with a steady stream of pranks, stunts and occasional misguided attempts at friendship. He’s friendly enough really to be honest, it’s just that he’s an omnipotent trickster and the closest thing Equestria has to a god entity. Still, I do try to be receptive to his more friendly jokes, and as scary as it might have been a moment ago, I had to give credit where it was due.
“What the hay was that for?!” I exclaimed, doing my best to hide the relieved smile that was forming on my face. Discord meanwhile, recovered and paused to wipe a tear from his eye.
“What can I say?” he replied. “I saw an opportunity and I took it.”
Ah, now here’s the thing with Discord. Everything he does, he does with some sort of motive. I’ve never known him to do anything just for fun. And while pulling a prank on me no doubt amused him, I was fairly certain that our meeting here was no accident. I said as much to him.
“Discord, I’ve known you a few years now. And I’ve never known you to be annoying, just for the sake of it. So out with it.”
“I’m serious,” he replied, putting his paw and talons up defensively. “I just wanted to say hi. You are a paranoid little pony aren’t you.”
“Only when it comes to you,” I replied. “You haven’t seen Fluttershy anywhere around here have you?”
“Why, yes, now that you mention it. She and I were just checking on all these adorable little apple suckers. She should be back before long if you fancy sticking around.” He then paused and chuckled to himself as leaping back literally stuck himself to the tree, clinging to it like some kind of mismatched spiderman.
I rolled my eyes at that. Celestia once said that Discord is like a six year old child; if you indulge him, he’ll just repeat the bad behaviour. Although to be honest, at this point, I think this is as reformed as he’s going to get.
Still, before I could fire back a retort at my erstwhile friend, Fluttershy did indeed appear at the opposite end of the clearing. Held in her mouth was what looked like an old fashioned doctor’s bag. While she isn’t a vet in the truest sense of the word, she does have some skills at looking after animals. After all, unlike most vets, like Dr. Doolittle she can simply ask the animal in question what the trouble is. Spotting Discord and I, she quickly set this bag down to let herself speak.
“Oh, hello, Blade Star,” she said in that sweet voice of hers. She’s one of a few ponies who prefers not to call me by my nickname. “What are you doing here?”
“Applejack said you were in the neighbourhood, Fluttershy,” I said kindly. “I thought I might drop by to say hello, that’s all. I see you brought Discord along to help you too.” The little pegasus nodded.
“Oh yes,” she said. “The two of us are checking up on all the baby vampire fruit bats, making sure they’re getting enough to eat and growing properly.”
“Discord, I didn’t know you cared,” I said, with just a slight hint of smugness. Reformed or not, Discord likes to project the air of aloofness and hates to admit that Fluttershy’s love of animals is rubbing off on him.
“Of course I care, Bones,” he replied hotly, folding his arms indignantly across his serpentine chest. “After all I invented them.” I borrowed Applejack’s often used dubious look.
“You ‘invented’ vampire fruit bats?” I asked, my tone making plain what I thought of such a statement. “Right, and I designed the bomb ketch.”
“It’s true!” the draconequus persisted. Before he could argue the point further though, we were interrupted as Fluttershy burst into an adorable fit of giggles.
“Oh, Discord. You’re so silly,” she said with a chuckle.
It was only visible for a fleeting moment, but I saw a subtle change in Discord. If it was visually possible, I’d say I saw his heart skip a beat. One of these days he’s going to have to fess up. Still, at least now I know how everypony felt when me and AJ were still dancing around each other like nervous teenagers.
Since I was there, I offered to help the pair with their work. Fluttershy was indeed checking up on all the baby bats, feeding them a refined apple sauce to help tide them over until their fangs grew in. The three of us chatted, and the conversation soon turned towards Fluttershy’s brief transformation, brought on by a botched spell of Twilight’s.
“So what was it like?” I asked curiously as the pegasus flittered from tree to tree like a house martin. “Were you conscious of what was going on?”
“Not really,” Fluttershy replied with a shake of her head. “It was more like a dream really. I only remember bits and pieces.”
“Still, must have been a pretty interesting experience,” I said.
“Well it certainly gave me a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be a vampire fruit bat,” she replied with a giggle. “And it does make for a good costume on Nightmare Night.”
I fondly remembered how last year, Fluttershy, with the help of her evil pet rabbit, had staged an elaborate scare for her friends in the corn maze, disguising herself again as the Flutterbat, complete with bat wings, fangs and red eyes. Luckily, Fluttershy doesn’t much care for doing it, and she hasn’t done anything like it since.
“You were certainly right about the bats helpin’ the trees in the long run,” I said as we worked our way through the small colony. “They might be guttin’ the older trees like fishes, but these saplings sure do look stronger than any of the other trees on the farm.”
“Yes, short term loss for long term gain,” Discord said. “That and this eyesore on your pretty little farm.”
“I thought you’d love all the chaos these bats brought,” I replied, turning to him.
“Chaos, yes,” Discord replied. “But this isn’t chaos, this is just...disgusting. All I can smell is rotting apple cores.” I chuckled.
“That’s nature for you, Discord,” I replied. “Go ask Dr. Fawn. I’m sure she could tell you some stories.”
Chuckling to myself, I remembered how we’d had to call her out a few weeks ago to help with the delivery of a calf. She’d been up to her shoulder in cow at one point trying to pull it out when it became clear it was breached. Suffice it to say, nature isn’t all about cute adorable animals, there’s puss, goo and horrid smells, to say nothing of the whole circle of life business. Leaving the draconequus to turn green, I turned my attention back to Fluttershy.
“How’s Lizzie been anyway?” I asked, asking after my little sister, and Fluttershy’s roommate, although Rarity’s rumour mill had it on good authority that she was planning to move in with Dewdrop soon.
“Oh, the poor thing’s been really worn out this past week, what with all the weather work over Winter Wrap Up. Still, she’s helped me look after my chickens, and she’s planning on doing a course for advanced weather patrol next month.” I showed my hand now.
“I heard scuttlebutt say that she was thinking of moving in with Dewdrop,” I offered. Fluttershy nodded at that, a little sadly.
“Yes, they’ve been thinking about it for a while. In a way, I’m happy for her, she’ll get to have a place of her own. The cottage does get quite crowded at times. And in a way, I’ll be glad to have the extra space too, but I’ll still be sorry to see her go. Although she has promised to stop by and help me with the animals whenever she can. Celestia knows Sweet Feather Sanctuary keeps me busy.”
“Well, you’ve got Discord here,” I suggested. “I’m sure you could spare a few hours a week, right?”
I turned to the draconequus and hoped he’d catch what I was driving at. The guy loves spending time around Fluttershy, pining after her so. Maybe some time alone would eventually get him to crack and open up to her, or she’d confess to him. I have it on good authority from a certain rabbit that the feeling is mutual. His response however, caught me off guard, as it was decidedly out of character for the Spirit of Chaos.
“Would that I could, Bones,” he said rather plainly, causing Fluttershy to look ever so slightly hurt. “But I have a couple of other irons in the fire at the moment, so I’m afraid I simply don’t have the time.”
For a moment, silence prevailed, and I stared at him as if he’d just announced that the sun was the centre of the universe and the planet moved around it in an orbit, instead of the sun being moved around by immortal alicorns. He liked Fluttershy, and I’d just set him up for a regular opportunity for the two of them to be alone together, and he’d turned it down flat. Of course, with Fluttershy there, I couldn’t exactly say much.
After that surprising refusal, the conversation turned back to the apple trees around us. The orchards here were a strange mix of ancient trees that had been taken over by the bats, and the young saplings growing hither and thither as they spat out the seeds. In effect, the place was something of a nursery for the new trees. And while most of these would be going to take root elsewhere on the farm, a few were bound to head further afield.
“Applejack was telling me about your plans to take a few of these stronger saplings to her cousin’s orchards in Appleloosa.”
Ah yes, we’d been planning that for a couple weeks now, ever since Braeburn wired us. While winter had been harsh up here, further south had been hit a lot harder. The poor stallion had lost more than a few trees to the inclement weather, uncontrolled by pegasi, drifting over from the badlands being the main reason, along with a severely dry winter. As such, we’d agreed to lend a hoof. The apple orchards were just as vital down there as they were up here, and having lost the better part of two dozen trees, Braeburn was desperate to make up for the deficit.
We were planning, that is me and Applejack, to head down there to make the delivery ourselves, as well as to take the rare opportunity to catch up with Braeburn. I’ve met him a few times now, and we get along pretty well, to the point that, while slightly drunk one night in the saloon down there, the apple stallion made a pass at me, and a good one too. If I was so inclined and wasn’t off the market, I might have taken him up on his offer. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to remember the incident, or hopes I don’t for he’s never spoken of it since. That aside though, we both have a keen interest in apples and the goings on down on the frontier and we share a love of history.
“Yeah, AJ and I are gonna head down there in the next couple weeks once everything’s set to go. It’ll take a couple of days to get everything worked out. Poor Braeburn really got hit hard by the winter.”
“I wonder what it’s like down there now since they’ve made peace with the buffalo,” Fluttershy pondered.
To be honest, I didn’t know much either. Of course, I was aware of the treaties Equestria had made with the Buffalo Nations, and the resulting cooperation between the two peoples, but I had only a dim idea of what it was like down there now. Actually, I was far more interested in the idea of me and Applejack sharing a hotel room for a couple of nights, several hundred miles away from Big Mac.
“Yeah, it’s been ages since any of us have been down there,” I agreed. “Maybe I can hunt up...what’s her name...Little Strongheart when I get there. I’ve been doing a bit of reading about the Buffalo, and I wouldn’t mind learning a little bit more about their culture. Might make for a good lesson at the school some time.”
I chatted a little while longer with Fluttershy. Discord took his leave not too long after, vanishing as he always does to Celestia knows where. It still rankled me how he’d been so unwilling to help Fluttershy out. Honestly, if I could I would myself. But between the farm, the school and my own research, like everypony these days, I simply don’t have the time. He on the other hand, being above such petty concerns as gainful employment and financial stability, was not so restrained. So why in Equestria had he refused? ‘A few other irons in the fire’ is what he’d said.
He was up to something, that much I was sure of. Had I known precisely what the idiot was planning, I’d have knocked him senseless then and there. It would have saved us all a lot of bother. But how was I to know what was going on in that head of his? I suppose he was trying to be helpful, in his own twisted way, and he genuinely meant well. Still, I do wish he could have just helped Fluttershy out at the sanctuary, confessed his love to her, and we’d all have jumped straight to the happily ever after with a slightly less confident Twilight, instead of what was looming on the horizon.
Hindsight though, as they often say, is twenty twenty, so I returned home later that afternoon simply puzzled by Discord’s actions. Beyond that though, I soon let the encounter drift into memory. A few days later, I had more important things on my mind, such as the four day trip I was taking down the Appleloosa.
Applejack and I got up fairly early, but after having breakfast, we broke from our usual routines. Granny Smith took Apple Bloom off to school, the both of them saying goodbye, for we wouldn’t be here when they got back. That left us alone with Big Mac, who would come with us to the station to see us off, before returning back to the farm to get started on the morning’s work.
AJ and I had spent the previous night packing, and making sure the dozen or so trees that would be accompanying us were all set to go. It’s never a good idea to keep a tree potted longer than necessary, and the three of us were keeping a careful eye on each of them, making sure they got enough water and nutrients to cope with the long journey south. As for ourselves, since ponies don’t normally wear clothes, the pair of us were able to travel fairly light. We each had the one suitcase with us, holding essentials. But beyond that, our only luggage was the trees.
With breakfast done, the three of us loaded up the wagon with the dozen or so saplings. Big Mac kindly offered to pull this for us on the way to the station, to save either of us the trouble of unhitching from it once the trees were all loaded up.
Leaving the farm, Applejack took to her signature pre-departure jitters. She can be a lot like Twilight at times. Especially when it comes to her leaving the farm. You’d never guess we were leaving the place in the capable hooves of her older brother and grandmother.
“And don’t forget to check on Wilbur,” Applejack was saying, referring to one of the pigs. “Dr Fawn says he’s still got some indigestion, so make sure you mind what you feed him.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied, for what seemed like the twentieth time.
“And,” Applejack went on, remembering another trifle. “Make sure you spray those new pesticides on the grape vines tomorrow. I don’t want a repeat of last year, with half the vines getting sick.”
“Eeyup,” came the reply again, now a little more bored in tone.
“And make sure you take a look at the water pump in the farmyard. That things been actin’ real funny since one of the cows accidentally kicked it.” Big Mac snorted in annoyance.
“Eeyup,” he said, now through gritted teeth. Applejack paused for a moment, and I thought she’d picked up on the hint. Until…
“Oh, and make sure...” she didn’t get to finish her final point.
“I know, Applejack!” her big brother exclaimed. The sudden shout caught the nervous mare off guard. Luckily, he quickly cooled down. Plus it had the effect of showing her how irrational she was getting. Still, I never miss an opportunity to tease my marefriend.
“I think he gets it, AJ,” I half whispered to her, causing me to bat me behind the head, knocking my hat over my eyes. I chuckled to myself at her indignation.
A short while later, we arrived at the station. The train had come down from Canterlot, and was now on its way through Ponyville before heading further along the line. After here, it diverged into several routes, heading all over the country, from Manehattan to Vanhoover. We’d be riding in one of the passenger cars, while the trees would be safely stowed in one of the boxcars further back. Having bought our tickets, AJ and I quickly set about unloading the wagon and transferring the trees over to the train. In this case, my magic came in most handy, being more delicate than moving them all by hoof.
Applejack hopped aboard and checked the trees were all safe and secure. We’d brought a couple extra with us, just in case anything did happen, but it would be nice if we could arrive with trees to spare for Braeburn. After talking things over with the guard, or conductor I should say (I’ve never quite been able to loose my BR vocabulary when it comes to railways), we slid the freight car’s door shut and latched it. The two of us then jumped aboard with our own luggage.
As we did so, the whistle blew, a green flag waved and with slow, steady puffs, the train set off after the right away. The both of us leaned out the window and waved goodbye to Big Mac, and Ponyville in general as we started the journey south to Appleloosa. We soon picked up speed, leaving the station far behind, and after rattling over a few sets of points, we were on the line that would first take us to Dodge Junction, and then on to Appleloosa.
We pulled into Appleloosa about five hours later, having chatted, napped, read books, eaten a light lunch, and generally done all we could to while away the time. The sloping grasslands of Ponyville and the Canterhorn Valley had been replaced with the far more barren desert landscape of the frontier. Cacti jutted out across the landscape which, as we got closer to Appleloosa and civilisation, gave way to the prairie and open plains of the West.
As we pulled into the noticeably sparser Appleloosa station, we saw Braeburn waiting on the platform for us, looking more than a little relieved at the sight of the freight car. As usual, he was decked out in his faux leather jacket and a stetson of his own. Out here, it was pretty much the norm all around. Back in Ponyville AJ and I were easy enough to pick out with our hats. Here, you’d have a much harder time. Jumping down from the train, Braeburn greeted us as old friends.
“Applejack! Bones!” he cried. Hugging each of us in turn. “It’s great to see you. How’s things in Ponyville?”
“A darn sight better now that winter’s wrapped up,” AJ said. “It was much tougher than usual.”
“It sure was,” Braeburn nodded. “Here. I’ll give you a hoof unloading the new saplings Best get them planted as soon as we can. It’ll give me a chance to show you round the orchards as well.”
The three of us quickly set to work unloading the freight wagon and stowing the saplings in a large wagon Braeburn had brought along for us, as well as a couple of hands, or is that hooves here, from the farm. While they took the trees off to the orchards. Braeburn led us to the hotel in town where AJ and I would be staying.
Appleloosa was very much your classic cow town, sans the cattle. It was made up of a single main street that split off at the end, forming a T shape. Heading up from the train station, which also contained the post office, the telegraph office, and the overland freight company, on the left you had the local watering hole, followed by the doctor’s office, undertakers, a blacksmith, farrier, and metal work shop, and a few other small town amenities. On the opposite side of the wide, dusty street, you had the general store, which sold foodstuffs, farming supplies, and anything else a pony might readily need. Then you had a tailor shop, specialising in what Rarity would no doubt call rustic chic. After that was our hotel, which had five or six rooms. The place also, according to the painted advertisements outside, also offered warm meals, a barber and hot baths. Beyond that was a small souvenir shop (Appleloosa is becoming something of a tourist trap, slowly but surely, for those looking to get a taste of life on the range) which was operated by some of the buffalo, selling little trinkets and so forth. And finally at the end, was the town’s bank. Unsurprisingly, at the other end of the this street, a short jaunt across the way from the bank, stood the small sheriff’s office, and Sheriff Silver Star was currently sitting out in front of the place, keeping an eye out for anypony stupid enough to try and rob the place. Finally, on a little knoll diagonally across from the sheriff’s office stood the small schoolhouse, which reminded me a lot of Ponyville’s own schoolhouse.
All in all, it was a modest little town, and a classic example of a place right on the frontier. If you headed much further south, assuming you missed the Badlands and the now much smaller and less dangerous Changeling Kingdom, which itself proved quite a windfall for Appleloosa in terms of commerce, you’d hit the southern mountain ranges, which stood proud against the otherwise flat landscape. Beyond there lay...well, nothing nice, apart from those hippogriffs, who I honestly can’t stand.
Braeburn led us up the main thoroughfare and over to the hotel. Applejack and I, both to save cost and space, would be sharing a room. At least, that was the line we’d told everypony. Truth be told...well, we’re both ponies, we both love each other, and while physical intimacy for me isn’t as important as an emotional connection, I was not about to deprive Applejack of anything. As much as the Apple family have accepted our relationship, it is still difficult to be...intimate, when you have Big Mac across the hall and little Apple Bloom next door. If youth is wasted on the young, privacy is wasted on the old. So the two of us considered this to be something of a romantic getaway.
That, of course, would come later. Right now, we had more pressing matters to attend to. After checking in and grabbing our keys, we dropped our bags off in the room and quickly rejoined Braeburn, who led us out of town and on to the orchards.
The orchards in Appleloosa were, of course, nowhere near the size of Sweet Apple Acres. Still, the operation was very impressive. The Earth Ponies here had managed to cultivate the trees, despite the much drier soil and a much greater variety of pests. Back on Earth, people in the fandom had said to me how Earth Ponies didn’t really do much, when compared to pegasi or unicorns, lacking either flight or impressive magic. But just as pegasi fly through their own innate magic, Earth Ponies also have magic of their own. In addition to giving them superior strength and stamina, they also have a remarkable connection to the land. And yes, while unicorns could use spells to grow crops, my own research has shown, even when using Twilight Sparkle herself, who is nothing short of a magical prodigy, as a test subject, unicorn magic will not produce as high a crop yield when compared to the efforts of Earth Ponies.
The farm was not too far from Appleloosa itself, and Braeburn had quite a nice farmhouse on the smallholding. Like everything else, it had a frontier feel, and like a lot of the buildings here, the occupants had also been the builders. The cabin, while modest, had been built by Braeburn with his own hooves, and it now had the homely look of a ranch house. He himself lived alone, but the farm also had several other houses, cabins and bunkhouses on it for the others who call the place both their home and their livelihood. The farm even had its own general store stocking the essentials.
“This is mighty impressive, Braeburn,” I said, pushing my hat back on my head a little as we took a look around. “I ain’t never seen a farm with its own store before. You folks have really expanded since we were last down here.”
“We sure have,” Braeburn replied with a smile. “Once the conflict with Buffalo died down, ponies really started flocking to Appleloosa, mainly looking for work, but we get plenty of tourists too. They stay in the town and go visiting the Buffalo country. Now that we’re working together, we’re all making more than a few bits off of both businesses.”
“How’s that?” AJ asked curiously. “I get folks stayin’ in the hotels, but what about the farms?”
“Remember how the buffalo didn’t like us plantin’ trees because they were on their stampeding grounds?” Braeburn asked. Applejack thought.
“Er...yeah, kinda,” she replied. “I remember they wanted the land for somethin’, and it weren’t apple trees.”
“Well when we all came to an understanding,” Braeburn explained. “One of the agreements we reached was that we could plant the trees here, but much further apart than usual. See how the trees have been planted?”
Braeburn was right. In contrast to Sweet Apple Acres, with its narrow, straight rows of apple trees, the ones here were planted much further apart, and not always in straight rows, although I imagine that was partly due to the prevailing soil conditions as well as other factors.
“Well, the idea,” he went on. “Is to make it so that the buffalo can stampeded on through when they want to, without knocking down the trees. The vibrations from their hooves, well, it’s just like the Running of the Leaves, only much more powerful. They can actually shake loose the apples. We cleared this entire orchard in just a day.”
“That’s genius!” I exclaimed. Braeburn however, now turned melancholy.
“Of course it’s not like there’s much to harvest right now. And the weather’s cost us so many trees.”
Like farmers back on Earth had genuine connections to their livestock, even those destined for the slaughterhouse, ponies have a connection with their plants. I remembered when one of the local farmers near me had nearly twenty head in his sixty head milk herd test positive for foot and mouth during the outbreak in the ‘90’s. They all had to be culled and the bodies burned. He was devastated, and while the herd survived that terrifying disaster that swept through the English countryside like a scythe, he never truly recovered from the loss. He knew each of those cows, knew their personality, their likes and dislikes. It was almost like losing family. And that’s ignoring all the financial implications. There’s a reason farming has such a high rate of suicides.
I put a comforting hoof on Braeburn’s shoulder as he looked out over the orchards. One farmer to another, I had a good idea what he was going through.
“Don’t worry, Braeburn,” I said reassuringly. “These new trees are the toughest thing either AJ or I have ever seen. Hay, once the orchard gets a little bigger, I reckon you ought to consider settin’ aside some of it for the fruit bats. It’s a short term loss, but a great long term gain.”
Braeburn was about to speak when we were interrupted by a new arrival.
“Wise words, little grey pony.”
Turning around, I found myself nose to nose with an intimidating looking bison. He stood far taller than Big Mac, and could probably even give Princess Celestia a run for her money. Atop his head was a large headdress, made of feathers, held in place by a blue cloth band, while two other feathers, one on each side, hung down along the sides of his face.
I must confess, having grown up and spent most of my life in Britain, and at most Europe in general, I knew very little about the buffalo, and the Native American tribes on which they were based. I figured, at least based on what Dad had told me from his meetings with them, that they had some similarities to the Lakota or Cheyenne tribes; Plains Indians to use the catch all term; the guys who cut the 7th Cavalry to pieces at Little Big Horn and for the first time since 1812, put the Yanks in their place.
But beyond this passing familiarity, I knew very little, and what little I knew came from stereotypical portrayals in the media. Consequently, being the part time academic that I am, I was looking to change that. And it wasn’t like I was short of information out here either. While much of the Native American culture had been damaged, outright destroyed, or was now held by those people as a closely guarded secret, the same could not be said of the Buffalo Tribes. Since ponies understood what was meant by the phrase ‘for all of time’ and didn’t see it as their role to go wandering around committing genocide and calling it God’s Will, the peace between the two nations had fostered a major cultural exchange. Ponies were learning about the Buffalo and vice versa.
And who better to educate than the chief of the tribe, for the bison standing before me was none other than Chief Thunderhooves, the leader of the buffalo in this part of the world. While once upon a time he had called for war against the ponies to oust them from Appleloosa and the territory in general, he was now a peace chief and favoured co-existence.
Still, when you’re standing nose to nose with him, peace chief or no, he was quite the intimidating character. Luckily, Braeburn was there to bail me out.
“Well howdy there, Chief Thunderhooves,” he said in a welcoming tone. “What brings you down this way?”
“I saw the train from Ponyville pull in,” he explained, his voice a deep baritone. “I am glad to see your orchards are recovering from the harsh winter we have endured.”
“I’m just glad that we were able to share our supplies as we did,” Braeburn replied. The Chief’s tone then became more grave.
“You have healed the physical wound to your orchards, but I cannot help but sense a deeper wound in your spirit. The death of any creature is a painful burden. I would like to offer my people’s help.”
“How so?” AJ asked curiously.
“We are preparing Inipi, what you may know as a sweat lodge,” he explained. “With the return of Spring, it is time to renew ourselves, just as the world does. It will help you heal from this experience, and connect you again with the world around you. Your friends too, are welcome to join.”
Braeburn readily agreed to attend the ceremony. And while I was a little hesitant at first, Applejack and Braeburn got me on board. After all, I’d said to Applejack how interested I was in what it was like down here. What better way to learn about buffalo culture than to experience it for myself?
And so, after the new saplings had all been planted, we followed Chief Thunderhooves back to the buffalo village to take part in the ceremony. As it turned out, for me at any rate, it would be a most unusual experience, and a harbinger of things to come.
Chief Thunderhooves led us away from the orchards and to a fairly isolated spot, a fair distance both from Appleloosa and his own village. It was here we found several other bison working on the lodge. It was a fairly small, squat affair, standing not much taller than than the buffalo themselves. It would certainly be quite snug in there.
The structure was primarily made out of a wooden frame, which was then covered with several large blankets of various designs. At one end, facing to the east was a large opening, created by pulling a couple of the blankets back. Beyond that though, there were no door or windows. I suppose it would do a poor job of keeping the heat and steam in otherwise.
Directly in front of this was a large fire, which was being tended to be a ‘firekeeper’ as Thunderhooves called them. Within this inferno were a number of large, smooth stones. It was these that would be brought into the lodge. Pouring cool water on them would create the steam needed for the sweat. Right now, they were glowing red hot.
“You ever done this before, Braeburn?” Applejack asked with a note of trepidation in her voice.
“Sure, once or twice,” he said with a nod.
Not too far away was a small table with several water bottles on it. Braeburn grabbed one of these and promptly downed it.
“I’d get plenty of water before we start,” he advised. “It gets real intense in there with the heat; best to drink as much as you can now.”
Following his example, Applejack and I drank a bottle each. It was cool and refreshing in the warm afternoon sun. The air smelled of sage or maybe tobacco, which had been put into the fire, giving it an unusual scent. As we stood talking, another bison joined us. He was much older than Thunderhooves. But the one thing that stood out was his colour. In contrast to all the other buffalo I’d seen, his hide was a pure white. I knew little of Native American culture, but I did know that the buffalo was sacred in many of their religions, and a white one more so. If I remember right, the gene giving the colour was expressed in 1 in 10,000, making a white buffalo a truly rare sight.
“Greetings, my friends,” he said, his voice softer than Thunderhooves. “I am White Eagle.”
“White Eagle is a ‘medicine man’,” Braeburn explained. “He leads the sweat lodge and makes sure everypony is safe.”
“Indeed I do,” White Eagle said with a nod. “I see young Braeburn has shown you the importance of keeping hydrated before joining us in the sweat. It does require a great deal of endurance, but if you push through, the grandfathers will have much to teach you.”
“Grandfathers?” I asked. White Eagle gestured to the stones that rested in the fire.
“These are the grandfathers,” he said. “Everything in this world has a spirit, even stones. They have been around far longer than any of us, even the pony princesses, and so they have much to teach us. That is why we sweat; to confront our problems and discover ways to overcome them. Anyway, I think they are warm enough now. It is time we make a start.”
And with that, this slightly odd old man led us all into the lodge and we began to ceremony.
White Eagle went in first, then Braeburn, then AJ and then me. The first thing I felt, unsurprisingly, was heat. It hit you with a genuine force to the point that I almost staggered at the doorway. I’d been in a sauna once or twice in my life. This was nothing like that. It was far, far hotter than any sauna, and that was just from the small pile of pebbles in the centre of the lodge. Pushing on, I followed the others inside.
Our medicine man took his place near the entrance flap, while the rest of us gathered around the fire pit. I found myself further from the entrance in what I later learned was the most difficult spot. We’d all removed our clothing before we came in. Braeburn had shed his jacket, and all of us had taken off our hats, since even they could reduce the heat we lost. Applejack had even taken down her mane, which now hung loosely around both shoulders. In front of White Eagle sat a small ceremonial drum, as well as a few herbs which would be burnt as the ceremony went on.
As we all settled down, I tried to take a look around. There wasn’t much to see. Apart from the glow of the fire, it was entirely dark thanks to the thick blankets surrounding us. I could make out the ponies besides me, but little else.
The ceremony began with the first few stones being brought in, carefully held on a short of pitchfork by one of the firekeepers, who carefully passed it to White Eagle. He then carefully placed them into the pit, before handing the pitchfork back. Now the temperature really started to climb as the last of the fresh air became heated. I was already sweating like a literal horse as the entry flap was closed and we were encased in the darkness and heat of the symbolised womb. White Eagle now began to speak.
“There are four rounds to the inipi ceremony. This is the first. The East. Each round of stones represent one of the four directions. We pass from the east, where the sun rises, and travel west, until the thunder beings decide it is our time to leave this place. The drum here, is the heartbeat of our mother. It is here to guide you, and help focus your mind. You will experience many things here, some of which you will not understand. Know that, while some of these things may seem frightening, they cannot harm you, and the good spirits we have called forth here will protect you.”
With that, he began to beat the drum in a steady rhythm that was indeed, not unlike a heartbeat. As he did this, he began to sing in his native tongue. My body meanwhile, slowly began to adjust to the temperature and the heated air. It was no longer quite as stifling, and I figured I could probably endure it for the duration of the ceremony.
That lasted right up until the moment White Eagle poured water on the grandfather stones. There was a hissing sound and a column of steam shot up from the rocks. Instantly, the temperature seemed to double. Now the place felt a little more like a sauna. This continued for I don’t know how long. The heat and darkness seemed to distort time. All I was really conscious of was the steady drumming and White Eagle’s singing. That and the sweat that was quickly matting my mane.
Eventually, the first rounded ended, and the flap to the outside was opened again, letting some cool air rush in while the next round of stones were placed in the pit. I took a look around with the better light. Like me, Applejack and Braeburn were drenched. The latter was even panting a little as his body tried vainly to regulate its temperature. White Eagle too was sweating like a hog, but having undergone the better part of eight years of training for this role, he was well equipped to handle the heat.
The reprieve was short lived however, as it was quickly closed again and the next round began. This was the second round, or the second door. White Eagle began to sing and beat the drum again. I was really suffering now, as the heat began to mess with my head.
As White Eagle poured more water onto the stones, my vision began to swim. I felt somewhat like I was about to pass out, but at the same time, I felt as steady as ever. The lodge around me began to fade out as darkness crept in. On some level, I knew this to be an effect of the heat, but on the other hand, I wanted to see if I really would experience some kind of vision here, so I simply did my best to relax, ignore the feeling that I was inhaling fire, and listen and see what the spirits wanted me to see.
What happened next is...difficult to describe. I’ve had dreams, day dreams, nightmares, night terrors, and one ketamine induced hallucination and out of body experience when I got badly scalded as a kid. None of those fitted with what happened next. I was both fully aware of where I was, and yet I wasn’t. I was awake and dreaming, there and not there, and alive and dead. I suppose the closest description would be that I went into a sort of trance state, with my brain caught in some weird heat stroke induced loop.
White Eagle had told us that we would see things during this sweat. But I assumed he meant ‘see’ as in a revelation, not as in a literal vision. It came to me in flashes, out of focus and out of context. It was both literal and surreal, some things made sense, others I could barely comprehend.
First, I saw the sun and moon, both setting in the sky as a solitary bat flittered from apple tree to apple tree in the orchards. Beneath them were two large deer. These two watched the bat as it flew between the trees for a moment, before they lay down, and seemingly went to sleep. As they did so, the sun and moon rose up again from the horizon, seemingly tied together by a band of energy that was linked to this bat. The bat then changed into a butterfly and flittered away.
I then saw a coyote, with red and yellow eyes stalking through the trees, keeping its distance from me, but slowly drawing nearer to the sun and moon as they hung linked together in the sky. It barked excitedly, in an almost friendly way, at the two celestial bodies, and from its mouth spewed an inky darkness, like liquid shadow. For a moment, this darkness seemed to engulf the sun, moon, and the bond between them, including the small butterfly, which now flittered to and fro in a frightened state. A moment later though, there was a flash, and the butterfly changed again, this time into an eagle. The strange shadows relented and were pushed back towards the coyote. The coyote too underwent a transformation. For the first time, I saw something that made sense; I saw Discord who was cheering and clapping like he’d just seen the end of a good buckball game, seemingly to applaud the eagle as it flew, pulling the sun and moon together across the sky.
I was, for my part, both an observer, and a participant in this strange apparent battle. As sweat continued to pour down my face, and the drum continued to beat its steady rhythm. A moment later, I saw the eagle again, still pulling the two bodies across the sky. At the ends of my vision though, the same shadows persisted.
These were the only things I couldn’t see through. They were ice cold, and yet as blazing as the sweat, filled with anger and rage. Within this blackness was another coyote, but this one had cruel dark green eyes, and lacked the vague friendly demeanour of the previous one, yet they seemed somehow familiar. The land around it was dead and lifeless, seemingly sad in and of itself. It growled and snarled, but seemed somehow held back, restrained, and as the shadows receded, it seemed to become more and more fearful of the eagle, until finally it vanished in a flash of white light.
As the light receded, all that remained was the eagle, guiding the sun and the moon. The two deer stood by, watching, seemingly content to rest under the light of the sun and the moon, as did all the other animals of the world.
With a sudden start, I regained my senses. I was breathing heavily, sweating more than ever, and felt a sudden wave of exhaustion wash over me. It suddenly became a struggle to stay upright. My rational mind tried vainly to process what had just happened. The images, while I’ve done my best to write them down in the order they happened, were all out of focus, coming thick and fast. It was difficult to make any sense of what I had seen, apart from a menagerie of transforming animals.
I couldn’t speak though, my throat was parched from the heat, and I barely had the strength to keep my eyes open, never mind formulate a coherent sentence. As the sweat went on though, and we now entered what White Eagle told us was the final round, my strength seemed to return. The sweat went from a pain to endure, to something that was almost comforting. The old bison had said the sweat was to help heal and rejuvenate us, as well as to help us solve problems in our lives. What problem all those animals were meant to solve, I had no idea. Luckily, that was why we had a medicine man on hand.
Eventually, the final phase of the sweat came to an end. The entrance flap was again reopened and we were all let out into the cool refreshing air of a blazing summers day. In comparison to what we’d just gone through, it might as well have been the dead of winter.
White Eagle told us that, after a sweat, it was customary to eat a meal together, and from there ,we could discuss with him anything we might have seen that needed explanation. However, he also reminded us that anything that was said in the sweat, prayers, hopes, fears, were to remain with the sweat, and should not be discussed outside of the lodge.
I honestly don’t remember anyone saying anything, but apparently we all spoke at length, including me.
After we all took a dip in the nearby river to cool off and make it so that we could stand within a hundred paces of somepony without killing them, White Eagle led us back to the buffalo village, and here we would all sit down to a dinner. On the way though, as we were walking, White Eagle came up to me. Applejack was walking along with Braeburn, seemingly none the worse for wear. I could hardly say the same for myself.
“You look troubled, my friend,” he said in that low, soft voice of his. “I have seen many like you before. Your mind is full of questions; trying to understand that which cannot always be understood.”
“I...saw things, in the lodge,” I said after a moment. “I don’t know what you’d call it. A vision? Insight?”
“The spirits spoke to you,” White Eagle said, nodding sagely. “That is good. Now we must discover what they were saying. What did you see?”
So I told him, as best I could recall. I haven’t always had the best visual memory. I’ve got most of the original Star Wars script up here, along with Celestia knows how much MLP lore, to say nothing of Star Trek and other half remembered TV shows. But remembering images has always been harder for me. I was never very good at Kim’s Game for instance, or those stupid memorise the pattern games. Still, I did my best. I told White Eagle about the animals I had seen, how I’d seen Discord. He listened with silent interest, and only spoke when I came to the end of my story.
“Hmm, that is a powerful vision, young one,” he said sagely. “It is just possible that the spirits may have shown you what will be in the future.”
“But what does it all mean?” I asked. “A bat that turns into a butterfly that turns into an eagle that fights a coyote that is really Discord and then another coyote that isn’t, all for everypony to lie down and relax.”
“Well,” White Eagle began. “The bat can symbolise change, and the need to let go of old habits. The butterfly too, is a creature of metamorphosis, and an important one too. The eagle though is a powerful creature, a symbol of courage and strength, which explains how it vanquished the coyotes.”
“And what do they represent?” I asked. “I’m guessin’ somethin’ bad?”
“The coyote can be a symbol of bad things, yes,” White Eagle agreed. “But he is also a trickster, a clown. He is not always an evil thing.”
That summed up Discord alright. Sort of evil, sort of good, always the trickster. So much like Q. Still, it unsettled me the way he seemed to be in some way acting against the princesses in my dream.
“The other coyote though,” White Eagle went on. “He is bad medicine, what you ponies would call dark magic; an evil force. You may face trouble before long.”
White Eagle didn’t know how right he was. Change was coming, and changes are rarely smooth.
Author's Note
Proofread by Sweetolebob18.
And so we set the stage for the beginning of Season 9. I actually ended up doing a fair bit of research while writing this chapter to try and get the details of a sweat lodge correct. But given how the ceremony varies between different tribes, and how it's been hijacked by new age types over the years, this proved a bit difficult. So, if there are any Native American or First Nation readers out there, feel free to point out any inaccuracies.
