Daniel's Dangerous Dynasty

Daniel is a bit hung over after his date. Perfect time for his boss to call him into work! And so, he quickly gets reminded of one thing that perhaps every working man could relate to... Saturdays freakin' suck!

Daniel snored himself awake and groaned in pain, as he felt the soreness of last night on his throbbing forehead. He heard the alarm ringing, and reached over to it, but paused and looked at the nightstand. Once more, it was back to normal, including the lamp this time... and yet, he found this unsettling, because last he could remember, off the top of his head, he was in Hell.

Then he noticed a note on the other side of his bed. Despite the blurry vision, he smiled and recognized Mina's signature and handwriting on the sheet.

"Aww..." he cooed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "... oh." he then added as a follow-up, as his smile quickly turned into an embarrassed frown when he read the note over.

Hey, hun.

Wanted to let you know why you're back on Earth, and not cuddled with me here in Hell. Well, for starters, you fucking puked all over the bed last night! Then you shat yourself and fell right to sleep into said puke before we could even get to third base! For fuck's sake, man, what did you eat before crossing that portal?! It might take weeks to get this shit off my fur! And don't get me started on how fucking hard it is to smuggle water into fucking HELL of all places! You DO know there's only a select few here with the luxury of having running water, right?!

Anyways, we'll try that again if I'm feeling up for it when Estrus hits me full-circle. But for fuck's sake, you BETTER not bring alcohol!

... Surprisingly, I still don't want to kill you, though.
Mina.

He then noticed the smell in the room, and lifted his blanket. He was still in his pants, and they certainly felt quite squishy around his ass, which was also feeling a hefty rash coming on.

"Oww..." he groaned when he twitched, before he started to slowly rise up from bed. He quickly went to the bathroom to try and freshen himself back up again.

He started by taking his pants off and throwing them in the washer.

Then his phone rang from inside the washer, and he had to hurriedly shut the machine down and grab his phone from it. He was lucky it was at least enchanted with magic, or otherwise it would've been toast.

To his dismay, it was his boss.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Heeey, David!" his boss said, to which he deadpanned at the wall.

"Daniel." he corrected.

"Right, whatever. Anyways, listen, I need you to come into work in an hour!"

"What?! B-but sir, I just-"

"Aah! No excuses, David! Get in here, or you're fired!"

*Click*.

Daniel stood there, as the water continued washing his only pair of work-approved pants that still reeked of manly fecal matter.

He shook his head and groaned, planting his face into his palm. "Well, shit. Can this day get any worse?!"

"You're fired." came the response of his boss, Mr. Noisebane. Mr. Noisebane was a short, stubby, middle-aged man with gray hair and a gray mustache.

He was sitting at his desk when he heard a complaint that one of his employees was working in improper condition... and lo and behold, he saw that it was Daniel, who was wearing a soaked pair of pants, his old shirt from yesterday that he still didn't wash, and he smelled horrible, meaning he wasn't hygienically prepared for this important day.

"Please, Mr. Noisebane, I can explain!" Daniel plead, only to get the door slammed in his face.

Daniel trudged his way to his car with his box of desk supplies in his arms. He was still wet, smelly, disheveled, and his box was getting heavier to carry. Not to mention the migraine was still fresh, and he was nauseated beyond belief.

Then, once he was halfway to his car, rain began to rapidly pour down on him, and his box. The box quickly broke, and his desk supplies fell into the road.

"Oh, come on!" Daniel complained.

Then a Street Sweeper quickly turned from the corner he was at and quickly swept away his supplies. He heard the crunching of his laptop, his case, and the photos of his family, including one with a hidden picture of himself and Mina, during one of their nights of stargazing.

Oddly enough, she actually seemed to find solace in the darkness during those cold nights on her stay on Earth.

"Great... guess I'm being punished." Daniel said, now worried that Mina might've actually put a curse on him in his sleep. He was about to reach and grab his phone to give her a call, when it started to ring.

He then pulled it out of his pocket. A bolt of lightning struck it immediately, causing an explosion where he stood. He flew right into a wall and coughed out some smoke, before looking at his screen again.

It was from an Unknown Caller... a 50-50 it was either Mina or Death. He answered his phone.

"Hello?"

...

"Death? Hey, man! Look, now's really not the time to explain, but can you come over to my place here in about thirty minutes?"

...

"Uh-huh."

...

"Right, thank you bud! See you in a bit!"

He hung up his phone and stood back up, brushing the dust off of his soaked clothes... which only got nasty gray muck to cover his hands and spread all over his jeans, anyways.

"Fuck." he swore with a deadpan. He then looked over at a homeless man who was safe and sound underneath an umbrella. The homeless man looked at him with pity, then shook his head before returning to his nap.

Daniel went to his car and fiddled around his other pocket for his keys. When he pulled the key ring out, it slipped from his fingers and fell down a sewer drain that was, ironically, placed next to his driver side door.

At this point, he couldn't hold it in anymore. He yelled out in anger and kicked his front tire.

The alarm immediately began to ring loudly.

"SERIOUSLY?!"

"FREEZE!" came a man's aggressive voice behind him.

He quickly raised his hands up and turned around, only to find an officer much taller and stronger than him glaring down into his eyes.

Daniel smiled sheepishly.

Daniel was in Prison Cell 3 for about five minutes, when his cellmates began to gather around him. All five of them. And he was looking panicked at this point.

"Heh... well, what have we here? Fresh, new blood!" their ring leader said.

Daniel closed his eyes and shook his head. "Guys... please, don't do this. Please, don't hurt me!"

They chuckled, while the leader pointed at him. "Hear that, guys? Short of five minutes, and already he's begging for his life!"

Daniel shook his head and looked over at them. "No, I'm not begging for my life! I'm begging for yours! You really don't understand!"

"Whoa, hold up! Y'all hear this shit?!" the leader gawked, before their laughter intensified.

"Kick his ass, Erin!" the thug at Daniel's left said.

Erin grinned at Daniel and gripped him by the collar of his shirt.

"No, really guys! If you hurt me, then she will know, and she will be pissed!"

"She?!" Erin said, before raising his hand over his forehead in mock terror.

"Oh, shit guys! His girlfriend's coming! And she's gonna be angry at us!"

"N-no, she'll be angry at me! She'll just kill you guys for fun! I mean it!" Daniel practically begged them.

They only continued to laugh at his warnings, while behind them the cell wall started to pulse and transform into muscle matter. A lighter fleshy door appeared in the center of it, but the inmates paid it no mind... but Daniel did, as his demeanor changed from a quivering mess to a solumn frown. He already knew what was bound to happen at this point. The barrier was crossed, and these guys were, for lack of a better word, completely screwed, now.

"So, one angry chick's gonna show up, get past security, break in this cell, and kill us? Just for fun?! Ooh, God help us!" Erin mocked, before Mina's angry, demonic voice echoed behind them.

"God can't help you now..."

They turned around and quickly dropped Daniel upon seeing Mina standing there, glaring into their souls with her piercing red eyes.

The inmates couldn't believe their eyes, and Erin mouthed silently a well-earned "What the fuck?!"

As she stepped into the room from the opened wound, the floor began to corrupt, turning into the same fleshy surface as the wall. This time, however, the wall began to bulge a pimple out, which split in the center and opened up, revealing a large red eye.

Then the inmates screamed in terror, while the warden of the jail rushed into the hallway, and stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing the carnage taking place inside Cell 3.

She looked at the warden and smiled wickedly at him, flashing her white teeth through the shadows that covered her upper face.

"Hello, Warden... if I were you, I wouldn't get involved."

The warden didn't hesitate at this sight. He drew his pistol and raised it up... but his finger was far from the trigger. He quickly ejected his ammo magazine and pulled the chambered bullet out, then dropped his gun and held his hands up in defeat.

"Good boy." she said, before turning towards the inmates who, at this point, managed to arm themselves with small makeshift shanks, shivs, and clubs.

She rolled her eyes and snapped her finger. They lost all color to their eyes, and blood dripped out of their noses. They fell to the ground, save for Daniel, who was just standing there smiling nervously at his still-pissed girlfriend.

She then glared even more fiercely at him, which made him lose his smile.

"What... happened?!" she demanded for an answer.

He raised a finger to answer casually, but lost all composure the moment she slammed her hoof down on one of the dead inmates' heads, cracking his skull open, and sending brain matter across the floor.

"W-well... I kinda lost my job today..."

"WHAT?!" she roared, before growling. "Ugh! Why the fuck did they fire you, then send you to a prison?! I know you, Daniel. You're too soft to be like me, and that's why I fell for you to begin with. No, you must've been set up!"

"It's... a bit more complicated than that." he added.

Then he told her everything that transpired throughout the day. How he was met with one unfortunate event after another. It almost seemed like he was cursed. Naturally, he voided that part where he thought she might've done something, seeing how she was apparently just as confused as he was.

Finally, after coming to a conclusion of his tale, she pinched the bridge between her eyes and sighed. "Fine, then... I'll look through Hell and see if one of those drinks you had was spiked with a Misfortune Curse. Those can be easy to fix, and I know someone in Equestria who might be able to help."

He sighed in relief, before she gripped him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to her. "But Daniel?"

"Y-yes, hun?" he gulped.

"I vowed to protect you. That means I would never curse you, even if you pissed me off to the point of begging for the gods' help. And so, don't you ever think like that again, no matter how shitty your day is! And even if you did, don't you dare try to hide it from me again! Understood?!"

He quickly nodded his head, and that was enough for her to release him from her grasp.

"Good." she said, before pulling him in for a kiss on the cheek. He smiled and rubbed the cheek she kissed while she, in turn, walked over to the Warden.

The cell door opened itself up, and the warden fell to his knees.

"Want to live?" she asked.

He nodded his head and gulped, sweating profusely.

"Then escort us to the exit. I want to make sure he's safely brought back home, and cleared of all charges. Understood?"

He nodded again and hurried back up to his feet. Then the warden lead them over to the nearest officer on a computer.

"Okay, Mr. Daniel Banks. You're cleared of all charges. So, uh... Miss Pinkamena?" the officer on the computer looked at Mina.

"Yes?" she asked her.

The officer looked at the computer and frowned. "C-can you please tell my computer not to try eating my arms, now?"

The computer monitor opened its screen up, and fangs of glass shards snapped at her, but the cord keeping it plugged in was turned into a chain that was attached to the wall.

Mina shrugged her shoulders. "Not my problem. But don't worry, it's only temporary. Once I leave, it might go away... if you're lucky."

Without paying the worried officers in the room any mind, she dragged Daniel out of the Police Department and into freedom again.

"So, uh, Mina?" Daniel began, as the two of them sat in the back of an all-too-familiar limo.

"What?" she responded, still a bit grumpy.

"How, uh... did you find out I was in trouble?"

She rolled her eyes before slipping on a pair of earbuds. She wasn't in the mood for talking. Daniel was about to inquire a bit more about it, until he noticed a bottle of pills next to her seat between them... painkillers.

"Oh... so you too, huh?" he asked.

She sighed, nodding her head. "Yeah..."

They were about halfway to his house when she finally spoke up.

"I had Death dig around. He found out that you were not at work, so I called. You didn't answer, so I tracked you down using my senses."

"Pinkie Sense?"

"Yeah... Pinkie Sense. Look, I had a stressful day, alright? Just... let's just enjoy the silence."

He nodded his head and looked down at the floorboard. He was wanting to add something to the conversation, but he feared that now wasn't the best time. Truth be told, he was feeling a lot of regrets over his drunken stupor.

Thankfully, though, Mina was already aware, and spoke a bit more.

"By the way, don't blame yourself over last night. Honestly, it was probably for the best."

"W-what?"

"I'm not repeating myself." she said, glaring slightly at him. "Anyways, just forget about it. It wasn't really that bad of a mess, and it's been cleaned up in less than a minute. Don't forget, I have Lucifer's magic. He was... surprisingly good at cleaning, actually."

"But-"

"And no, you couldn't have done better. You did your best to impress, and it was cute, but not necessary. You pushed yourself for my sake, but you were also just following orders. And that's why it was also my mess to clean up, not physically, but mentally."

"..."

"And no, you didn't blow your chances at me. In fact, I have a proposal."

"... Y-yes, hun?"

She looked him in the eyes, no longer glaring, but looking casually at him. "How about we try that again when we get home?"

"W-what?!"

"You heard me." she deadpanned. "Or do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Uh..."

She rolled her eyes and pulled him closer to her, where his ear was just inches from her mouth.

"Sex. You and me."

The car stopped, and they were back at his house. They entered quickly, and she dragged him by his hand into his bedroom.

Daniel opened his eyes and yawned, as the alarm clock woke him up from his sleep. He reached to turn it off, only for it to hiss at him. Turning around, he saw that it had eyes, and it was staring back at him with a slight glare, as his finger was on where its nose would've been.

"Oh! S-sorry..." he stuttered.

It growled at him before closing its eyes again.

"That was... odd." he said, before placing his hand down, only to feel a soft leg beneath the covers. He turned to his left, and saw none other than Mina sleeping next to him.

Then it occurred to him. He was shirtless, pantsless, and actually cleaned up, while Mina was in his bed.

"S-so it was real..." he mumbled.

Her ear twitched as a response. This made him smile, as he lied back down and cuddled with her.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked back at him, before sighing and closing them again. She brought her hand up to his, and together, they fell back asleep. The day was awful, but at least it got better in the end for both of them...

... and though she'd never admit it to him, he actually lasted much, much longer than she did in bed. She came six times by the time he finished. And this, at least, made her content.

Maybe Estrus won't be as much of a problem with him around.

One Week Later...

Having become a freelance programmer overnight, Daniel quickly became the talk of the town, since their previous company shut down after their boss's mysterious disappearance. It was almost like someone cast a miracle spell on him, and cursed his former boss with the same misfortune... a hint he received from his loving girlfriend that following Sunday morning.

And now, one week has passed, and he got yet another ten thousand dollar check from a well-paying client.

He smiled brightly as he turned the check into his bank account, while driving his own personalized vehicle... a red sports car with skull-like rims on the wheels, fancy skirts, and four exhausts that shot a flame out every now and again.

Life was, actually, going very good for him. He looked towards his passenger seat, where a black box rested. Within said box, of course, was the ring he had special-made for someone very dear to him.

Then his phone began to ring, and he looked at the caller. "Unknown Caller".

"And speak of the Devil!" he jested, before clicking on the green phone icon. "Hello?" he answered.

...

"Oh, hey Mina! How was your day?"

...

"... Wait, hold on. You're what, now?!"