1. Show Me How to Be a Hero Like You!
Author's Note
WHOOO, this is something I've been slowly chipping away at. I'm gonna try and stay on full focus with this story up until it's conclusion. It's something I've just haven't had the time to do or the energy. Hit a bit of a low point for myself but I think I can go forward with this. Hope you all enjoy this insanity!
1. Show Me How to Be a Hero Like You!
'The Sheriff's Office was silent, still as an autumn grove. The illustrious, legendary, and also incredibly talented, Sheriff Mao Mao stood vigilant. Ever on guard, never being distracted for an instant from his sacred duty-'
"Uh dude, what are you doing?" Came the voice of Mao Mao's partner known as Badgerclops
'As I was saying, never distracted for an instant from his sacred duty. A duty of defending the poor, down trodden, and defenseless.'
"Oh man. Are you monologuing again? Dude, please, don't. You get weird when you do this and I can't deal with weird right now when I'm having my morning strudel."
'DESPITE, the constant opinions of his rotund companion-'
"HEY! I am NOT rotund! I am very sensitive about my weight!"
A small squeaky voice of the two heroes young ward Adorabat chimed in with a tone of inquiry and excitement, "Hey Badgerclops! Is Mao Mao doing that weird talking to himself thing again?"
"Yeah, wanna throw paper balls at his head? Why am I even asking, I'm going to throw paper balls at his head."
"OH OH! Gimme SOME!"
Mao Mao gritted his sharp teeth and flailed his arms as his red cape flapped behind him, "DO NOT THROW PAPER AT MY HEAD!!!!"
Badgerclops nibbled his strudel, his one eye rolling, "Then stop wit tha weirdness bro."
Mao Mao fully turned to face his large companion. The bipedal badger with a black eye-patch and mechanical arm had a calm expression as his friend glared at him. The small pure black cat narrowed his eyes, his completely green eyes fixing the badger in a steely stare-down. On his legs were square red samurai-esque leg armor with red leg socks, a matching sash belt and cape as well as five fingered gloves.
"It's not WEIRD Badgerclops," he waved a hand knowingly as he stood as tall as he could, "What I'm doing is a heroic soliloquy. It's a moment of self reflection. To look inward as one looks at the world around them and speak deep meaningful...METAPHORICAL stuff about it!"
"Just sounds like your talking to yourself," Badgerclops retorted as he shrugged, "you keep doing that and you'll be put up in Smiley Hills."
Adorabat, the pint-sized blue bat with big wide yellow eyes with a yellow shaped mark on her body and a yellow peg-leg, nodded somberly, "It's a dark and terrible place..."
She then perked up as a grasshopper went past her, "GRASSHOPPER!!! Imma EAT YOU!!!"
Mao Mao sighed as he turned and crossed his arms.
"Truly he didn't grasp the ancient and sacred art of the soliloquy, I weeped for him-"
"Dude," Badgerclops replied flatly, "Stop. Seriously."
"FINE!!!" he yelled back and then devolved into a serious of grumbles.
Then an alarm rang out as all three of the friends started to panic as they immediately ran to three poles leading to a green motorcycle with a pair of wings on the sides and a matching pair of engines on the side. Mao Mao and Adorabat strapped in, but all things ceased when they noticed Badgerclops standing with his hands on his cheeks, his one good eye sparkling and a big smile.
"BADGERCLOPS!!! Monsters wait for no Hero and," he noted his expression, "What?"
"IT'S TIME!!!" Badgerclops all but squealed.
"There's no time for your cryptic idioms! WE HAVE A JOB-" Mao Mao started but stopped when he saw where he was looking.
In front of Badgerclops was an alarm. But it was a deep blue and was currently going off. Adorabat was practically squealing as Mao Mao blinked. Both Adorabat and Badgerclops hugged each other and happily proclaimed.
"VACATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!"
"Vacation?! WHAT!! NOW?!" Mao Mao looked from side to side in shock, "But it hasn't even been a year of service and grueling hard worrrrrrk."
"Dude, vacations are monthly in the Sheriff's department," Badgerclops pointed to the calendar.
"Ridiculous, how come I'm only hearing about this now?" Mao Mao stated with mild annoyance.
"We've been telling you that ever since we shacked up here," Badgerclops replied with a bit of a flat expression, "You're just so engrossed in work you never, like, acknowledge the concept of a monthly vacation."
"Nonsense! Besides, evil doesn't take a vacation," his eyes narrowed intensely as his voiced dropped a few octaves, "And neither do I."
"Man, you need a vacay. Badly." Badgerclops tsked as she shook his head.
Adorabat glanced at her friend and her idol, "Why doesn't Mao Mao like taking time off?"
"Because Adorabat, a hero must always be vigilant! Danger could be lurking around any corner, under any stone, SWIMMING IN ANY POOL WITHOUT A FLOATIE!"
Adorabat gasped, "No!"
Badgerclops covered Adorabat's ears, "Don't scare her like that man! You know she'll have nightmares."
Mao Mao pointed a shaking finger at the two of them, "It's TRUE! Evil is a relentless force and as a Hero I must be that unyielding bastion of hope and light against the creeping darkness and hopless...ness that is EVIL!!!!!"
Badgerclops nodded as his robot hand plucked Mao Mao from the Areocycle, "Yep, we're going on a vacation. Right now."
Mao Mao flailed his arms, "NO! I REFUSE! WE HAVE A DUTY TO UPHOLD!!!"
"Duty can wait," Badgerclops placed a straw-hat on Mao's head, "Now, we chill."
Adorabat put on a pair of aviators, "Chill!"
Mao grasped the handle bars of the Areocycle, "NEVER!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!! I DEFY YOU AND YOUR CHILL!"
"Dude, don't make me have to exert myself here. Just let go of the bike." Badgerclops sighed heavily.
"NO!"
*
Badgerclops was reclining in a lawn chair exhaling in utter calmness as the warm sun heated his fur just right beneath the shade of the tree he lounged beneath.
"Isn't this great Adorabat? No responsibility, no stress, no alarm, no King bugging you to help get a spider off the wall of his bathroom," Badgerclops sighed as he lounged harder, "Yep. I have officially found my zen."
"Even though I love eating spiders off the walls," Adorabat mused as she two reclined in a chair beside Badgerclops with her sunglasses reflecting the light, "this is reaaaaaal nice."
A series of grumbles emanated from the third and final long chair as a sulking Mao laid on his chair with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. He continued muttering to himself until Badgerclops glanced over at him.
"Dude, your harshing my mellow here," he said plainly, "just relax. Let the sun do the work."
"This is ridiculous, I've never taken a vacation before and I'm perfectly fine," Mao grumbled under his breath, "the sun do the work. Only thing it'll do is give me a sun burn..."
Badgerclops continued to stare at the sky and sighed, "Dude, relaaaax."
Adorabat looked over at her mentor, "Maybe he doesn't know how to relax. Maybe his ability to relax is BROKEN!"
Badgerclops laughed a little, "That would explain a lot."
Mao glared at the two of them as he fidgeted, the clacking of the chair meeting everyone's ears as he tried to lay still. He eventually laid on his back and stared up at the blue sky.
"Relax. Relax...yeah right. Easy for you to say," he thought, "All you EVER do is relax. Hrmph, relax. Please, I can relax in my sleep. Ability to relax being broken. HA! I'll show you two I can relax!"
Mao stared at the calm sky as the clouds drifted by, his expression relaxed as his fingers and toes clenched and his muscles relaxed. The sun warmed his fur as the wind ruffled his fur and whiskers. The scent of the local flora making an addicting aroma that eased his nerves.
He blinked slightly as his hands went behind his head with a look of mild surprise, "Huh. You know, this isn't half bad..."
"See man? I told you! Now, just sigh, and let all your worries float away," Badgerclops wisely stated.
The three all inhaled and exhaled a calming breath in unison. They were all chilling like the most chilled monks of chilldom on mount chill, until Adorabat noticed something out of the corner of her eye.
Adorabat then shot up like a rocket and pointed, "HEY WHAT'S THAT!"
Mao immediately leapt to his feet, golden katana drawn as he got into a stance, "WHAT WHAT!? I KNEW IT! TROUBLE WHAT-"
Mao relaxed when he saw it. It was in the side of a nearby Oak tree. Badgerclops sat up in his chair and raised his glasses.
"Whoa. Don't see that everyday," Badgerclops muttered in surprise.
The three approached a large swirling vortex of purple and green energy and stared. It was a perfect oval just floating there, seemingly embedded in the bark of the tree. Mao Mao sheathed Geraldine as he stroked his chin.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, seems like an inter-dimensional portal of some kind," Mao mused as he tilted his head at various angles before snapping his fingers, "Badgerclops, get the security tape. We have to secure the area. Last thing we need is a monster coming out of this thing or a Sweetypie falling into a dimension of infinite torment from which there is no-"
"IMMA POKE IT WITH A STICK!!!!" Adorabat proclaimed as she ran at it with a stick.
"Adorabat NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mao yelled.
The moment the small limb of wood touched the surface of the portal. A massive vacuum of wind erupted from the the depths of the swirling void and impacted them. The trio were lifted screaming along with their Areocycle, into the void before them. They continued to scream as they felt and sometimes saw their bodies stretched like noodles, turn to liquid like a lava lamp, and even change dimensions. After several more minutes of screaming, the sky opened up, and they all hit the ground hard.
*
Mao Mao awoke with a shake of his head and a throbbing headache. He looked around at his surroundings in shock for a moment, before his expression hardened and he jumped to his feet.
"Heroes Code, Rift Travel Regulations: 1st, Do not panic, asses the situation," he said to himself as he took a bit of dirt from the ground and rubbed it between his fingers and then sniffed the air, "Hm. Fertile ground, healthy foliage, and pure air. My guess is the countryside."
He turned his head and noticed a large sycamore tree and nodded in affirmation.
"2nd, take stock of your surroundings to ascertain any signs of civilization or possible threats" Mao became a black blur as he scaled the tree in a flash, "Alright, time to get a birds eye...whoa."
Before him was a vast field of trees. But what caught his eyes were two things. One was a massive castle built from the mountain, similar to Pure Heart Valley's central castle, but far grander. But what REALLY drew him, was the massive CRYSTAL Castle that laid in the middle of a local village that was a mile down from their current location. Near that same Crystal Castle sat a large complex that looked like a school of some form.
"Well...that's...uh...," he pulled out the 'Heroes Code' and flipped through the book with the insignia of his family on the cover, "Addendum, if possible, make contact with locals. Show you are not a threat. The Universal Greeting is always a good fallback."
Mao Mao nodded and, after looking from side to side, hugged the book, "Thank you Great Great Uncle Black Eye Mauve."
He then landed deftly on the ground and roused his companions from their stupor as they too, were shaking stars from their eyes.
Adorabat looked around and looked down in shame, "I'm sorry Mao Mao, I didn't mean to poke the portal."
Mao pat her head reassuringly, "It's no trouble Adorabat. Any hero worth his or her salt always pokes at least one portal in their time, just be thankful we didn't end up in a realm of fire and bugs. But that's beside the point. There seems to be a hamlet just down the way, we have to go there and make contact."
Badgerclops pulled the Areocycle from the branches of the tree and replied knowingly, "Rift Regulations?"
"Yup," Mao nodded sagely.
Badgerclops's shrugged and sighed, "Well there goes our vacation. You do the talking Mao, my brains all wobbly from that trip."
Mao gave the thumbs up and then pointed, "Onward to the VIllAAAAAGE!"
The three beings ventured forth, though Badgerclops complained about how long the walk was. After close to an hour, they finally came to the village border stood atop the hill of the main road leading into the town. Mao Mao dusted himself off and made sure his cape was unwrinkled, his shin guards were secured, and his belt was fastened well. He tightened his gloves and glanced down the main street.
"Alright, listen. We don't know if the beings here speak our dialect, so we have to handle this with tact and expert precision. Their ways are strange to us, even though they built these rustic dwellings, we must show them respect and-"
"Dude, let's just go say hi. I've never actually met aliens before," Badgerclops said with mild giddiness.
Adorabat then proclaimed with jubilation, "ALIENS!"
Mao face palmed, "Yes..let's go say hi to the aliens. Follow me and stay close."
Mao Mao confidently started walking across a bridge into town and rounded the corner to the main street. He stopped dead at what he saw.
"Wha...wah. WHAT!?!"
Around the trio were ponies of all shapes and sizes. Pegasi, Earth Ponies, and Unicorns of multiple genders and array of colors chatted amongst themselves as Mao Mao looked from side to side. Badgerclops's one eye widened to the size of a dinner plate, while Adorabat slightly sulked on his shoulder.
"Aw..I wanted to see scary aliens." she groused.
"Their...that's...." Mao Mao pointed, "A...an actual unicorn. A PEGASUS!?"
Badgerclops pointed up slightly, "and a town in the sky."
Mao looked up and gawked, "That's...impressive...."
Badgerclops smirked a little, "And you said their ways were crude."
Mao looked from side to side, flustered and a bit overwhelmed before he eased his nerves, "Okay Mao Mao, you've worked with the impossible before. Rooooooll with this."
Mao Mao looked to the side and grabbed a small empty orange crate and dragged it passed several ponies who took notice of the cat for a second and gawked in mild surprise as he placed the box on the rim of a nearby fountain and stood on it like a platform. Badgerclops chuckled a little as Adorabat watched eagerly with wonder. The cat cleared his throat and spread his arms wide.
"ATTENTION EQUINES!!!"
Everypony stopped and glanced at Mao, all eyes on him. Mao smiled at having seized their attention and began to speak slowly, but loudly as he emoted with his hands with each word to describe what he said.
"I AM MAO MAO! A HERO FROM A FAR OFF LAND! THOSE TWO OVER THERE ARE MY ASSOCIATES AND FRIENDS BADGERCLOPS AND ADORABAT!"
Badgerclops raised a claw, "Yo. How ya doin?"
Adorabat waved her wings rapidly, "HI ALIEN HORSES!!"
Everyone's eyes snapped back to Mao Mao as he gestured in an exaggerated fashion, "WE COME! IN PEACE! I COME BEFORE YOU TODAY TO-"
An elderly voice with a southern accent chimed from the crowd, "Ya don't have to yell sonny! We hear ya loud and clear! Don't talk so slow neither, we aren't foals, we understand ya too!"
A green crotchety mare with frazzled grey hair in a bun with yellow/orange-ish eyes caught Mao's gaze for a moment which broke his rhythm.
"Uuuuuh, right," he muttered as he tapped his chin.
"Aw look at the little kitty he's so cute."
"Why does he have a cape? Is it some sort of fashion statement?"
Mao's eye twitched, "As I was saying...we mean you no harm and want to speak to your leader-"
"Maybe he's like that Capper fella that comes through here?"
"No no, he's too short."
"Why does he have a sword? He could hurt some creature with that."
Mao lost his composure in annoyance as he yelled out, "JUST TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!!!"
"Well he may be cute, but he's REALLY rude."
Badgerclops and Adorabat were rolling on the ground in laughter which worsened Mao Mao's mood.
"LOOK! We fell through a portal! We're LOST and I have no idea where we are. SO COULD ONE OF YOU JUST POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR RULER?!?!" Mao continued to yell as he flailed his arms.
The ponies muttered amongst themselves as Mao stood there, still fuming a little at their lack of inaction. Badgerclops came to his side and chimed in.
"What my angry friend here means," Mao glared at him as he continued, "we just wanna talk with whoever is in charge. Maybe even get some food."
An Earth Pony with moderate phthalo blue eyes behind a pair of half spectacles with a pale light grayish amber coat and a light cornflower bluish gray mane and tail that possessed a lighter streak in it approached. Mao took note that each pony seemed to have a mark on their flanks, sans some of the younger ones, this one having a scroll sealed with a blue ribbon.
The Mare approached Mao, "Well, Mao Mao is it? I may be IN charge of this town as it's Mayor, but our LEADERS preside up in Canterlot Castle behind you."
Mao Mao looked over at the mountain and Badgerclops moaned in dread, "I am NOT walking that far man!"
"Although, I CAN direct you to Princess Twilight," Mayor Mare rubbed her chin, "Though I THINK she might be in the School of Friendship at the moment doing a lecture...."
Mao Mao hopped down from his box and did a respectful bow, "Thank you Mayor, your assistance is greatly appreciated. I am to assume this, School of Friendship, is that complex just over the way?"
"You'd assume correct! Though," Mayor Mare eyed his sword, "I'm going to ask you to keep that weapon sheathed while in my town. We DO have safety laws here."
Mao Mao placed a hand on his hilt for a moment of reflection and nodded as he crossed his heart, "I Mao Mao, of the House of Mao, give my heroic vow to abide by your laws."
Badgerclops scratched his chin, "School of Friendship? They teach that here?"
Mayor Mare nodded in affirmation, "Correct, it's one of our cornerstone virtues of society in Equestria."
Mao nodded as he muttered, "Equestria, kingdom of horses, yes the pun is not lost on me. Odd that something so common is a societal virtue."
Adorabat was starting wide eyed at a pegasus filly who mirrored her tilting head actions.
Mao Mao shook Mayor Mare's hoof and clicked his tongue, "Alright, let's go to this, School of Friendship."
Adorabat was having a flower put in her hair by the filly as she sulked, "Aw, but I want to play with the aliens."
Badgerclops gingerly plucked Adorabat from the ground and placed her on his shoulder, "Sorry Adorabat, we can play with the nice aliens later."
"BADGERCLOPS!!! ADORABAT!! HUP TO!" Mao boomed halfway down the street, "Second contact waits for no one!"
Badgerclops sighed as he wheeled the Areocycle after his friend, "Dude, what did we talk about the yelling?"
As the strangers made their way toward the School of Friendship, unbeknownst to anyone, a dimensional rift sprung open for a moment and a bolt of energy lanced and shocked a shape that growled in it's timeless slumber. It's glowing eyes opening.
*
The Sheriff's Department whistled collectively at the massive structure before them. Badgerclops looked at his reflection in the water that gingerly flowed to a waterfall at the entryway and made faces in it as Adorabat joined him. Mao was scratching his chin.
"Hm, for a school that teaches something so common as Friendship, they make a lot to afford such a massive building," he nodded at the architecture as he approached the doors.
"Uh Mao, shouldn't we go by the central office or something?" Badgerclops cautioned, "I mean, we ARE technically guests here."
Mao chuckled, "Badgerclops, we may not be the Sheriff's Department here, but we're still heroes. Heroes are welcome anywhere."
Adorabat nodded, "Makes sense to me."
Badgerclops shrugged as Mao eased the door open. All three froze in the doorway.
"Greetings School of Friendship! THE LEGENDARY MAO MAO AND HIS FRIENDS ARE HERE!" Mao proclaimed proudly...to no one.
Badgerclops looked around the empty halls and cocked a thumb behind himself, "Maybe we come back later? I think everyone's in class."
Mao Mao hummed in thought as he looked around at the various decorations, Badgerclops joining the gawking. Adorabat flew up to a picture depicting a large class of various creatures. At the front row sat seven distinct mares. The one on the far left was an alabaster unicorn with a curled and properly maintained mane and tail with blue eyes, three diamonds was her distinct mark on her flanks. Beside her was a cyan pegasus mare with a wild rainbow colored mane and tail with red eyes with a rainbow thunder bolt coming out of a cloud on her flanks. Beside her was another unicorn with a moderate purple mane with lighter purple pale light, grayish aquamarine highlights. Her coat was a pale, light grayish heliotrope while her eyes were a moderate Persian blue. Her marking was that of a star with a shimmering trail emanating from it. Beside her was an orange mare with freckles and green eyes wearing a cowboy Stetson on her head, her mane was blonde and tied in ponytails, her marking was three red apples. Beside her was a bubblegum pink mare with a large frizzy mane and tail with blue eyes and three balloons for her marking. Beside her was a butter yellow pegasus mare with long light pink mane and tail and kind blue eyes with three pink butterflies as her marking. However, in the center of all of them was a purple winged unicorn...or was it a pegasus with a horn? She had purple eyes a darker purple mane with lighter highlights, and a sparkling violet star as her marking.
Mao also took note of the small purple dragon with green eyes and spines and nodded, "Judging by their placement these seven seem to be important," he tapped the small dragon, "he's most likely the mascot."
Badgerclops looked at the photo and smiled a little, "Just going to say this now, the pink one looks super fun."
Adorabat clung to the picture and half shrieked, "I LIKE THEM ALL!!! I must collect them!"
Mao crossed his arms, "Collecting them can wait Adorabat, we have a mission. Now...where's that lecture hall...."
Mao turned around and screamed in surprise as he fell on his back. In front of him was the pink mare with a huge smile on her face.
"SMILING DEMON!" Mao yelled out of shock.
"I'm not a demon silly kitty, I'm Pinkie PIe," the mare giggled, "sorry for scaring you! I saw you come in the door after I was leaving the teachers lounge and I said. WOW!! New creatures! But I saw that cool sword and that REALLY awesome metal arm."
Badgerclops looked at his metal arm, "It is pretty awesome."
"Then I thought MAYBE you three were here to see Twilight and I was going to wait until you three were done looking at our school photo to get character intros out of the way and I thought it would be SUPER rude to interrupt." PInkie continued to speak excitedly.
"Oddly specific." Mao responded quietly.
"So I quickly zipped away to grab my emergency 'NEW FRIENDS CAKE!' when you fell over to make up for it!" Pinkie gestured to a large triple layered cake.
Adorabat blinked a little as her eyes widened at the cake, "WOOOOW!!!"
Badgeclops sliced himself a piece, "Mao...this place, is paradise."
Mao dusted himself off, "Though your gesture is appreciated, we currently aren't friends."
Pinkie Pie blinked but kept smiling, "Well a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet."
Mao thought for a second and pointed, "Or an assassin who's just waiting for you to lower your guard before they attack."
"Hm...that is a good point," Pinkie mused, "But I usually just hug them into submission before Rainbow Dash goes at them."
Mao raised a finger to retort before Badgeclops covered his mouth, "So Pinkie Pie, do you have anymore cake? Asking for a friend you know?"
Pinkie squeed, "Oh I got plenty!"
Badgeclops placed his hands in front of himself and inhaled, "With your permission, I wanna hug you."
Pinkie Pie perked up, "SURE!"
Both hugged as Mao gagged lightly, "As riveting as this is, we're looking for Princess Twilight."
Pinkie smiled as she passed another slice to Badgerclops, "Oh she's down the hall to the left, she's just finishing up!"
"Dude, go on without me," Badgerclops looked at the slice of pudding cake Pinkie had pulled from her mane with a tone of wonder, "I must sample their finest foods."
Mao sighed in annoyance and pinched the bridge of his noise, "Fine, stuff your face while I do ALL THE WORK."
Badgerclops smiled and gave him the thumbs up, "Mmghamham ("I knew you'd understand!)"
Mao turned to walk down the hall, "Fine, come on Adorabat."
Mao turned to look at Adorabat, who had large cheeks stuffed with cake and big watery eyes.
Mao Mao clutched his chest, 'Et tu Adorabat?"
Adorabat swallowed her large cake helping, "I'm sorry Mao Mao, my weakness is that I'm weak to free sweets!"
Mao Mao sighed heavily, "My friends, betrayed me for cakes and pink horse hugs. So I trudge ever onward."
"Is he always this dramatic?" Pinkie Pie asked Badgerclops.
"Nah, this is him on a good day," Badgerclops took a slice of a new cake, "is this lemon?"
"Yupper!" Pinkie chirped.
"Sweeeeeet," Baderclops said with a smile before digging in.
*
Mao Mao grumbled lightly as he trudged down the hallway, looking at various awards and the occasional picture. He stopped in front of a portrait of some brown furred cat in a red coat with a lustrous cape and top hat. He pinched his chin and tilted his head.
"Hm...think I could rock that look," he murmured before shaking his head, "NO! Focus Mao Mao, the Princess first, then possible wardrobe additions later."
He came to the lecture hall doors and heard muttering from within and he inhaled lightly before he gingerly pushed the door open. The voices stopped as he beheld the attendance of students who all looked at him, the mare he was looking for was front and center starting in surprise. His eyes scanned the room with expert precision.
"Dragons," he murmured as he zeroed in on an orange and possibly female one and looked beside her to see most likely her friends, "Griffon, Yak, Hippogriff, and....some sort of....bug horse?"
Twilight cleared her throat causing Mao Mao to turn sharply, "Excuse me? I'm in the middle of a lesson...wait, are you a new student from Abyssinia? If so you're very late mister."
Mao Mao blinked and shook his head, "Wha? No, I'm not student-"
Twilight turned fully, "Then who are you exactly?"
Mao Mao sighed heavily as he rubbed his temples before walking past some gawking students, "My name is Mao Mao of House Mao, Sheriff of the Kingdom of Pureheart and Hero."
Twilight blinked as he stood before her, "Hero? Sheriff...," she rubbed her chin with a hoof, "I...don't think I've ever heard of any kingdom called Pureheart, is that outside Equestria's borders?"
Her eyes lit up, "ARE YOU FROM BEYOND EQUESTRIA'S BORDERS?!"
Mao Mao leaned back, "Woah okay back up," he said lightly before leaning forward and bowed deeply, "Your highness, my party and I have been transmigrated from our dimension of origin and we seek sanctuary in your realm until such time that we can return. I humbly prostrate myself before you and ask for your aid."
Twilight looked at him sheepishly and then at the students and chuckled a little nervously, "Heheh, uh...you don't have to prostrate, or...bow so deeply, you could just ask."
Mao Mao stared at the ground still, "That wouldn't fit protocol, you're a Princess of the land-"
Twilight chuckled a little more trying to keep her composure a bit as her students snickered at the display, "Weeeeell, I AM a Princess but not the Princess of the LAND per say...that would be Princess Celestia and Luna."
Mao Mao glanced up, "Wait...so what are you Princess of exactly?"
Twilight puffed her chest a little, "I'm Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and it's nice to meet you Mao Mao."
Mao Mao blanked and stared into space. This Princess was a Princess of...Friendship? How do you rule friendship?
Yona the Yak who sat near the front with her friends noticed Mao Mao's pupils spacing out, "Princess Twilight, Yona think you might've broke him."
Twilight gingerly prodded him, "Uh, Mao Mao?"
A laugh was heard as everyone turned back to look at the door as Badgerclops stood in the door way munching on a brownie, "Oh WOW I haven't seen him this spaced out since he tried to understand the whole chicken and egg thing."
Adorabat landed near Smolder who looked at her in surprise as the small bat leaned over and whispered, "The answer will blow your mind."
Twilight looked from Mao Mao and the new visitors and sighed heavily as she flipped off the projector and threw her hooves up, "I guess my lecture will have to WAIT until next week then, class dismissed."
Badgerclops walked up as the students filed out, the large badger giving waves and chill greetings as he passed the students until he stood beside Mao Mao who's head was giving off steam. Badgerclops calmly raised his arm as the hand opened and shuffled around until it produced a small shower head and he turned it on over Mao Mao's head. The cat jumped from the sudden water and glared.
"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO SHOWER ME WITHOUT CONSENT!?!" he yelled.
Badgerclops reformed his hand and smiled lightly, "Aaand he's back."
Adorabat stared at Twilight as she smiled a little and pat the small bat on the head, "Okay, so start from the beginning, and don't leave out ANY details Mao Mao."
*
Soon enough, the conversation had been moved to the Teacher's lounge, the other mares in the photo having been gathered after Mao Mao had finished his explanation of EVERYTHING. His adventure starting in Pureheart leading up to the portal.
"And then here we are," he said finally as he shut a flip book of notes.
Twilight blinked, "Wow...that was thorough, I'm actually pretty impressed."
Badgerclops nodded as Pinkie Pie slid him a brownie, "Yeah, he's VERY crazy with that kind of stuff, trust me."
Adorabat was staring in awe at Rainbow Dash and would occasionally reach out to touch her mane before she'd stop abruptly when Rainbow would glance at her...and the cycle would repeat.
Applejack rubbed her chin lightly, "So these pirate fellers you deal with are after the battery in your...Aerocycle thingy? Why don't they just go find a different one somewhere else?"
Mao Mao sat in a chair, "Don't know, very one track mind honestly."
Starlight Glimmer chimed in, "PERSONAL DETAILS ASIDE, I think we're getting off track. So Mao, can I call you Mao?"
Mao Mao waved a hand, "Sure knock yourself out."
Starlight Glimmer continued, "So Mao...how exactly did this Portal appear?"
Rarity nodded, "From what you've said, you were all...chilling, is what you said if I'm not mistaken?"
Badgerclops raised a hand, "Technically I said that."
Mao Mao nodded, "then boom, mystic space hole opens in a tree, my ward disturbed it's structural integrity."
Adorabat was now perched atop Rainbow Dash's head, "I poked it wit a stick!"
"Then we appeared here," Mao Mao pinched his chin, "What I can't seem to glean is how the portal appeared in the first place."
Twilight hummed in thought as she levitated a book causing all three visitors to stare wide eyed, "Hm...a spatial phenomenon of such power would have to be done with some sort of magic or maybe some dimensional instability-"
Everyone glanced at the three, Mao Mao was pointing.
"What?" she asked curiously.
"HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT!?!" Mao Mao exclaimed.
Badgerclops stared wide eyed as Adorabat flitted closer to the levitating book, "Pretty~"
Twilight looked at the three, "What...you've never seen magic before?"
Mao Mao, hearing the explanation pulled his jaw off the floor and attempted to regain his composure.
"AH YES, Magic of course," he said attempting to play it cool, "It's so obviously magic."
Badgerclops smirked and leaned over, "You're so frazzled it's hilarious dude."
Mao Mao glared again before glancing at Twilight, "Okay so...ignoring the sorcery for a moment, could ANYONE in your land OPEN a portal like that?"
Twilight thought for a second and looked at Starlight who shrugged, "Well...it's possible, there are VERY ancient spells that could be capable of doing so, but that kind of knowledge has been lost for many moons as far as I know."
Mao Mao grumbled to himself, "Hm...so another dead end..."
He then glanced at the pegasus named Fluttershy who had been starting at him the whole time, "May I help you?"
"Oh no it's just you look so stressed," she intoned lightly with a warm smile, "I know for a fact too much stress doesn't do the body any good."
Mao Mao shrugged, "Well that's just obvious, why do you ask?"
Fluttershy trotted over beside him, "Well, if you like, I could help you relax a little. I might help you better focus your thoughts...if you don't mind of course."
Mao Mao glanced at Fluttershy with a critical eye, her warm smile reminded him a little of his mom and he sighed heavily as he sat up straight and folded his hands on the table.
"Very well, do what you must, but try not to detract from the conversation, this is very important," he said stiffly.
"Oh of course," she said sweetly, "you just sit there and talk business."
"Right, so, it seems we've reached a bit of an impasse," Mao Mao began, "For the moment, I don't see a way to return back to our home. I wish to properly request asylum in your hamlet here while-"
Fluttershy ran a her hoofs along his furred cheeks on his face causing him to practically melt in her hooves.
"GAaaahhh...," he groaned lightly as she started to massage his head and scratch a little behind his ears and under his chin.
"You're carrying so much stress Mr. Mao Mao," she said while Badgerclops tried not to gut laugh and Adorabat stared in shock.
"Wow! How are you doing that to Mao Mao?" she asked in awe.
Fluttershy smiled as she continued to lightly relax the cat, "Well he might carry a sword and speak gruffly, but he's still just a kitty."
Mao Mao felt on of his legs kicking lightly, "Hehe...kitty...I'm a good kitty..."
Badgerclops glanced at his friend then to the girls, "So...could we crash here until we can get out of your hair?"
Twilight smiled sweetly, "I don't see why not."
Rainbow Dash nodded, "Yeah you guys seem pretty cool, but could you maaaaybe tell your friend to stop trying to lick my mane? It's kinda creepy."
Badgerclops plucked Adorabat from the air, "Heheh, yeah she'll do that. Alright Mr. Good Kitty, up and at em."
Mao Mao snapped out of it and stood up sharply and turned to Fluttershy with a brisk bow before snap turning back to Twilight, blushing in embarrassment, "Thank you for your kindness, we'll set up camp near the outskirts of the town, possibly construct a crude cabin from the surrounding trees."
Badgerclops moaned, "C'mon man, I don't wanna rough it again. Last time we did that you wouldn't let me install a sundeck!"
Mao Mao raised a finger, "I won't have this argument with you again, the Sundeck was UNESSACARY and we were NEVER going to entertain guests."
Twilight chimed in with a raised hoof, "If I may, my Castle has a lot of rooms that aren't being put to use. You can bunk with me and Spike! I wouldn't mind having the house guests, it'd be like a huge sleepover."
Pinkie Pie nodded, "Yeah! I'll even bring Badgerclops some cakes and even some tiramisu from time to time."
Badgerclops's eye lit up before he swiftly turned to Mao Mao and said plainly, "Dude, don't make me beg."
Mao Mao glanced over and was about to speak until a door opened showing a panting, small, winged purple dragon.
"Oh the mascot is here," Mao Mao said plainly.
Twilight galloped to Spike, "Spike, where's the fire?"
"Town...trouble...M-MONSTER!" he said before falling forward.
Twilight was all business as she turned to the others, "Starlight, lockdown the school."
"Roger that," she said before she teleported away.
"Girls! We got work to do," Twilight said with an afirmmed smile, "Mao Mao, we'll-"
The trio was gone.
"Uh," Rainbow Dash looked around, "Where'd they go?"
*
The Pure Heart Sheriff's Department stared at the fleeing ponies and creatures of all creeds. Mao Mao took stock of the situation and then his eyes glanced to the source of the kerfuffle. Standing before them higher than the tallest of the houses littering the village was a massive golem. It's green gem like eyes burning, Mao Mao sucked his teeth for a second before nodding.
"Adorabat, make sure the citizens are evacuated clear of the battle zone," he said sharply with a decisive point of his gloved finger, "Once that's done, report back here!"
Adorabat saluted as she pulled out a pair of road flares from somewhere and lit them and screamed loudly, "ALIEN HORSES! FOLLOW ME!"
She flew rapidly around the ponies herding them like sheep as she pushed them out of the center of town.
Badgerclops whistled lightly at the golem, "Real big tone shift," he tapped his chin, "What kind of golem you think this is?"
Mao Mao scanned it, "Hmmmmmmmm, I'm banking ancient, possibly hardy, real cranky."
Badgerclops chuckled as his mechanical arm converted to cannon mode, "Yeah, gonna be a lot crankier."
"Oh yeah, he's gonna fall to pieces," Mao Mao laughed to himself before charging in, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The two heroes rushed in as Badgerclops fired off electric charged plasma shots at the creature, the impacted with dull thuds and caused small pebbles to fly into the air. Mao Mao roared as he started to strike at the joints of the golem with is fists and feet rapidly, scaling all over the rocky creature like a furred bug of fury.
"TAKE THAT!" He yelled, "AND THIS YOU WALKING PEPPLE PILE!"
The Golem stood, almost baffled by the feline batting at him. It then reached up and swatted Mao Mao like one would swat a spider before walking forward to Badgerclops who was still pelting it with laser fire.
"UUUh, dude, it's not STOPPING!" Badgerclops yelled lightly as he converted his arm to gatling laser mode and unloaded rapidly at the thing.
Mao Mao shook some stars from his eyes as he looked up at a pegasus mare with a vibrant yellow coat, a brilliant crimson mane that was massively curly, and brilliant harlequin eyes with a cutie mark depicting strawberries and grapes.
"Who in Celestia are you?!" She exclaimed as she was in the midst of eating a strawberry sundae.
Mao Mao briskly dusted himself off and nodded, "Mao Mao, hero, sheriff, future legend."
Mao Mao then looked at a strawberry and plucked it before eating it and nodding, "Delicious."
He then leapt out the hole and ran across the rooftops like a shinobi of Nipon and leapt at the Golem with a flying kick and a kata yell...only to be smacked aside into the air and his yell transitioning into a yell of exclamation. Mao Mao was stopped mid-flight by Rainbow Dash.
"I gotcha buddy," she said as she lowered him to the roof as Mao Mao looked down and saw the other ponies rushing in.
Rarity was attempting to throw and use objects to divert the Golem's attention while Applejack attacked it from all angles with bucks, and her rope. Fluttershy attempted to get stragglers clear while Twilight fired magic beams at it. Pinkie Pie was firing cake volley's at it rapidly.
"Huh...teachers and heroes," Mao Mao muttered before turning to Rainbow Dash, "Thank you for the save Rainbow Flash."
"Dash," she corrected.
"Right," he said as he looked at the golem, "Thing is much sturdier than anticipated, joint attacks are useless."
"You could, I don't know, use the SWORD on your hip?" Dash quipped a little.
"Sorry can't, made a vow not to," Mao Mao said plainly as he hopped to the ground as drew elaborate plans in the dirt.
Everypony within earshot stopped fighting, including Badgerclops, Adorabat (who was biting the Golem's face while Applejack was roping it's neck) and even the golem stopped.
"WHAT!?!" everyone shouted.
Twilight teleported to him messing up his dirt plans, "What do you MEAN you vowed not to use your sword?! You're a hero aren't you!"
Mao Mao plainly dusted himself off and crossed his arms, "I am, and as a hero, when I give my word and solemn vow on my clan name and heart I CANNOT and WILL NOT break it."
Twilight sputtered in exasperation as Badgerclops flew and slid beside them, "It's true. Mao Mao once vowed never to go swimming until after 2 hours."
Mao Mao smiled in pride and puffed his chest, "AND I STILL DON'T!"
Twilight's eye twitched but she looked to the battle and then to Mao Mao, "Well, can't you use break it this once!? Extreme circumstances are KIND of pressing right now!"
Mao Mao shook his head as he redrew his plans, "Your Mayor received a Heroes Vow that I would uphold your lands laws, which restricts me from using Geraldine within your town's borders," he rubbed his chin, "If I got a crude trebuchet or catapult maybe..."
Twilight looked from side to side as her friends went in all directions and Badgerclops attempted to back them up. She sighed and then turned to Mao Mao.
"Mao Mao of House Mao," she declared officially, "I Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship & Element of Magic release you from your vow."
Mao Mao looked up at Twilight, the official look and tone of her voice made all present look in reverence.
"Sorry, doesn't work like that, though you did seem super official," he pointed with a smirk, "Good job."
Twilight groaned in exasperation as Applejack was hurled past her as Mao Mao continued to draw.
"Twi! REALLY COULD USE SOME HELP AGAINST THIS VARMINT!" Applejack exclaimed as she ran back in.
Twilight looked in annoyance at Mao Mao. THIS guy was supposed to be from a dynasty of heroes back on his world? He was borderline insane to her!
"Wait here." She said curtly before she teleported away.
Mao Mao continued his musing as destruction rained around him, undeterred before another pop was heard as Twilight appeared with the Mayor.
"Ah, Madame Mayor," Mao Mao said respectfully, "Glad you're here, you'll be happy to know I haven't used my sword as requested since coming here and-"
Mayor Mare pointed at him and said quickly, "I'll absolve you of your promise, you can use you're sword in our town at your discretion as long as you don't endanger any creature!"
Mao Mao hopped to his feet and cracked his neck and laughed, "AH FINALLY! I was REALLY starting to buckle a bit there, but at your word Madam Mayor, I will alter my vow to fit your preference. Now."
Mao Mao slowly unsheathed Geraldine and whipped it to the side, a strong gust of wind billowing his cape as he struck a pose with both hands tight on the handle.
"Let me show you how a hero works," he said with a hard tone and expression before rushing in.
Mao Mao jumped over shocked onlookers and slashed with a mighty yell, his blade cleaving a chunk of rock from the golem which was snatched up by Badgerclops and Applejack who hurled it at it's head knocking it off balance. Rarity looked around and magicked some sheets to bind it's limbs while Adorabat riding a roaring Rainbow Dash collided with it's chest, knocking it over. Mao Mao landed with a flourish of his blade as the Mane Six and his two friends joined him.
"Alright, let's send this blockhead packing," he proclaimed with a smirk.
The Golem stood up and roared as it charged. Mao Mao placed his hand on the flat of the golden blade of his sword which gave a shine and he ran forward.
"You think you scare me!? I'VE FOUGHT BIGGER THAN YOU!!!" Mao Mao roared, "LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ANY MONSTER IN THIS WORLD! I AM MAO MAO! AND I'M A HEROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Mao Mao became a blur of black and gold as he slashed through the torso of the creature. Mao Mao stood on the other side of the creature as it was frozen.
"Paaaause for effect," Mao Mao whispered as he sheathed Geraldine, "aaand turn."
He turned as the Golem fell perfectly in half and crumbled to pebbles.
Mao Mao dusted his gloved hands as Adorabat landed on his shoulder and Badgerclops clapped him on the back. The girls stared in shock at him.
Twilight blinked as the three conversed nearby, "That was incredible..."
Rainbow Dash nodded, "I mean...don't get me wrong, it was cool but, wow."
Mao Mao chuckled as he approached, "Yeah I know, it's awesome, I'm awesome, took me a week to perfect that move. Went through a lot of dummies."
Badgerclops nodded, "Yeah, lotta clean up."
Adorabat smiled as she nodded, "Mao Mao is the most awesome hero EVER!"
Twilight smiled and nodded in affirmation as they approached the crumbled golem.
"It's pretty unusual though, Golem's are usually solitary and slumber for millennia, at WORST they might attack a mining operation or quarry," she murmured.
Mao Mao nodded in understanding, "So this isn't a common occurrence then?"
Twilight nodded in affirmation, "Whatever woke this one would have to have CONSIDERABLE magical prowess and power. I'm...a little nervous to think what or who could've done it. But more to the point," she glanced at Mao Mao's sword, "how in Equestria could that thing slice a golem like it was made of cheese?"
Pinkie Pie perked up, "Ew, Rock Cheese? No thank you, my Dad used to eat that, tried it once. Neeeever again."
Mao Mao smirked as he pat the hilt, "This baby has cut a LOT of things, rock is just morning practice, trust me."
Twilight's horn lit up as she scanned it with a spell, "Hm...strange..."
Mao Mao blinked a little, "What?"
Twilight gestured to Geraldine as Mao Mao unsheathed it for her and she engulfed it in magic, "Your sword...it's made of metal of some form right?"
"Yeah of course, a hearty gold-like ingot I picked out and forged in the DEEPEST AND HOTEST forge of my families home," Mao Mao proclaimed matter of factly, "Why?"
Twilight gave the sword a few swipes, "I think, this is just a BIG if, but I think whatever metal your sword is made out of from your world has an interesting effect on magic here."
Mao Mao took his sword back and held it up to the light, "Huh...really?"
Adorabat stared at the sword in reverence, "You think it can cut magic? Or maybe ABSORB IT!?"
"Not sure Adorabat, but this world has different rules and a different nature," Mao Mao clicked his tongue before sheathing his sword, "But for the moment, that can wait. Right now, I think the biggest issue is dealing with the mess and getting our new room's moved into."
Badgerclops nodded, "Amen, I want to sleep after that whole thing."
Twilight nodded before she approached Mao Mao and offered a hoof to shake, "I hope we can get to know each other Mao Mao."
Mao Mao took her hoof and shook it with a good natured smile, "Likewise Lightbright."
"Twilight," she said with a flat tone.
"Right," Mao Mao said while the others laughed.
Twilight then glanced to Spike, "Think you can send a letter off to the Princesses? I'm sure they'll want to meet our new," she noticed the three heroes talking amongst themselves, "Arrivals."
Spike nodded as he produced a scroll and quill, "Can do!"
*
In a dark room within a large cavernous castle, the light from a bubbling cauldron. Upon a throne glancing into a crystal orb, a humanoid feminine shape hummed to herself as she looked at the diminutive feline conversing with Celestia's prized brat.
"Hmmm," she mused as a pair of ears twitched atop her head as a pair of slitted green eyes stared at the picture before her, "So...we have new visitors in Equestria, how interesting."
Her clawed nail traced the glass of the Scrying Orb as she zoomed in on a proud Mao Mao, "Such an interesting specimen, to think that spell pulled you here. How important you must be then, I'll have to become acquainted with you in due course."
She then rotated the picture to gaze at Twilight, "Then there's you, the so called Princess of Friendship and Element of Magic. What a joke."
She stood up and slowly approached the cauldron as the light from the green liquid illuminated her. She was a slender and voluptuous (by their standards) Abyssinian. Long orange slicked back hair cascaded down to her shoulders and she was adorned in a lustrous violet robe with black furred trimmed hems and cuffs.
"Oh Celestia, to think you'd be so narrow in your long reaching gaze to forget I was lingering about," she mused with a toothy smirk, "Well rest assured 'old friend' it'll be good to see the sun after so long."
She manifested a goblet with the wave of her hand and took a sip of the concoction and trembled, "Purrfect temperature~"
She flexed her claws as dark violet, black, and green tinged magical aura screeched to life around her clawed hands. She then cackled in the darkness.
