I'm a gamer and we live in a society
Anne Capp was not having a good day. A fairly ordinary pony considering everpony else around her, Capp prided herself on not being the centre of attention and instead on living a quiet, peaceful life. Of course, living in Ponyville tended to throw that plan out of the window when almost every other week some potential catastrophic event would threaten the very existence of the town. Heck, just last month she'd found herself in the middle of a Changeling raid orchestrated by a resurgent Chrysalis. Of course the raid was beaten back by the efforts of Twilight Sparkle and her friends, yet Capp somehow found herself involved despite her best efforts to the contrary.
Her efforts were rewarded with an invitation to the yearly Grand Galloping Gala event. For an ordinary mare like Capp, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Unfortunately for Anne Capp, this would potentially prove to be perhaps the final opportunity of her lifetime.
Halfway through the event, a strange bipedal creature had waltzed on into the Gala and, without warning, had pulled a strange rectangular device from his purple sleeve. Screams and panic ensued of course; ponies tend not to react to strange creatures wielding sharp instruments in the middle of such a prominent social gathering. To her credit, Capp at least tried to calmly vacate the room yet her calm was shattered when the two legged maniac grabbed her mane and dragged her to the centre of the room. The guards would have rushed in yet they were stayed by the fear that the creature would harm the mare.
Anne Capp was not having a good day indeed.
Having heard the screams from the ballroom, Celestia and Twilight had cut their scholarly talks short and rushed to the scene. Bursting through the doors of the ballroom, they were met by dozens of ponies all gathered around the edges of the room, leaving a wide open space in the middle of the dance floor for a duo who were not interested in dancing.
Silence reigned for a few moments as neither Celestia nor Twilight knew what to say, though this silence was soon replaced by a low chuckle emanating from the bipedal creature whose rectangular object remained firmly pressed against the muzzle of Anne Capp. For a moment, he pulled his hand away from the throat of the mare and flicked his wrist towards Celestia, a card flying out and landing before the Princess.
"The Joker?" Celestia said aloud, "That's who you are?" It nodded, and Celestia stepped forward. "You have come into my city, into my castle and taken one of my subjects hostage. Why?" Galloping was heard from outside the room, yet it was ignored for the moment as the creature began to speak.
"My father, was an-"
"Anne Capp!" A stallion yelled, bursting into the room. Probably her mate Celestia mused, glancing to the stallion as he was held back by guards. The creature carried on speaking undeterred.
"-and a gamer, and one night he comes home cringier than usual." His grip on the mare tightened somewhat. One of the guards behind the creature seemed ready to charge, but a stern look from Celestia stayed his hoofs. She doubted he could reach this 'Joker' before harm came to the poor mare in his grasp. The Joker is no longer staring at Celestia and has instead moved his disturbing gaze to Anne Capp. "Mommy takes the PS4 because he's being bad."
"What's a PS4?" Whispers a guard to Celestia's left. Twilight shrugs.
"Not sure, probably something ga-"
"He doesn't like that," the Joker continues, "Not, one, bit." With each word his grip tightens. The tension in the room is palpable. At this point Anne Capp was shivering in fear, tears pooling at the edges of her eyes. "So, me watching, he roundhouse kicks her, laughing as he does it."
"He was laughing. He roundhouse kicked her and he was laughing?" The same guard to her left asked, horrified at the violent nature of the creatures father. Twilight once more shrugged.
"It isss what it isss." Twilight sure had a way with words.
"He turns to me and says, why so cringy?!" The rising volume of his voice further increased the tension in the room. Celestia so desperately wanted to save her subject yet knew that neither she nor her guards had a clear shot at diffusing the situation without potentially threatening the mare's life. The object in the Joker's hand was further forced into Anne Capp's muzzle, eliciting a whimper. "He comes at me with the phone, "Let's put you on Reddit!"
The object made a strange sound and, for a few moments, lit up to reveal what Celestia believed to be some sort of orange alien-ish creature, before the object went dark once more.
"Is that a Reddit?" The whispering guard asked.
"His father was a gamer." Twilight replied.
"Enough!" Celestia's voice carried over the noise of the whispering party-goers and guards. "What is it you want from us? What has that mare done to you to deserve this?" The Joker didn't respond. Instead, he began to pull the mare towards one side of the room. As he did so, the surrounding ponies made way, fearful of aggravating the Joker any further.
"Please let my Anne Capp go!" The stallion from earlier cried, pleading with the Joker. By this point he had reached a large, stained glass window on the far side of the room with Anne Capp still in his grasp. He looked it over and, nodding to himself, turned back towards the crowd. With no warning, he threw Anne Capp to the ground and, throwing his arms out, struck a magnificent pose.
"NI-" Whatever he was going to say none would ever know, as before he could finish uttering whatever horrid incantation of death and despair that was to come out of his mouth, he was obliterated by a blinding flash of pure light. Turning to the source, Celestia was shocked to find that Twilight Sparkle had delivered the blow.
"I did it Mrs Obama, I have ended racism." Twilight proclaimed.
"What the fuck is an Obama?" Whispered the guard.
Celestia did not bother to respond to either comment, instead gazing back at the card that the Joker has thrown to her. Picking it up with her magic, she turned it over. On the back there was a small message.
"🢛 B"
"I don't know who this 'B' is, but he's probably a twat." Celestia thought.
~Fin~
Author's Note
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WOKR6w2uV8
