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A shining beautiful sun graced the humble town of Ponyville as the warm rays woke the little ponies for a happy little day. And Pinkie Pie is no exception, as she burst out singing the moment the doors to Sugar Cube Corner opened up for the day.
"Winter Wrap-up, Winter Wrap-up," Pinkie Pie sang to herself despite the fact it was the middle of Summer.
"It is good day to be not dead!" Pinkie Pie proclaimed in hopes of making it the bestest day ever. Unfortunately, fate had other plans.
"Pow! You are dead!" Applejack whispered as she poked Pinkie Pie's side with a plastic spork.
"I AM DEAD!!!" Pinkie Pie bellowed as she fell over in defeat. The now-sinister Applejack chuckled at Pinkie's demise. Though it would be short-lived as Princess Twilight Sparkle came strolling by, causing Applejack to hastily hide the spork, the body less so, causing Twilight to gasp in surprise.
"The Pinkie is dead," Twilight examined as Applejack pretended to just discover this.
"Yes. I am dead," Pinkie confirmed, with her head poking out of her grave.
"Why is the Pinkie dead?" Twilight asked Applejack, being the only eyewitness.
"I dunno," Applejack lied as Pinkie began theorizing.
"I think it was--" Pinkie attempted to say, before being interrupted by Applejack and Twilight.
"Shh! You are dead!" Twilight and Applejack reminded Pinkie as the party-pony simply shrugged and clipped into the ground with her legs flailing like a tube pony at a car sale. Then, the wind shifted in a breeze as Rainbow Dash came to stop by.
"What's up ya losers? Who's ready to--?" Rainbow Dash asked before examing the body of Pinkie. "Ah! What the stinking heck just happened?" Rainbow followed up, now that she had seen the body.
"The Pinkie is dead!" Twilight and Applejack informed as Pinkie's body slumped on the operating table that will cease to exist in about 2 seconds.
"The Pinkie is dead?" Rainbow Dash asked in horror as she couldn't believe her eyes.
"Correct," Twilight answered as Rainbow shifted into a dumb smile after winning a game show.
"So, did you see the murderer?" Twilight asked Applejack and Rainbow Dash, examining the now upside-down body of Pinkie Pie.
"Nope. Sorry Twi," Rainbow Dash and Applejack both answered in unison as Twilight slammed her hoof down.
"I will find her! I will capture her! And nopony will ever die again!" Twilight proclaimed as the Wonderbolt and the Cowgirl applauded Twilight's testimony, which only intensified.
"Ateeeeeention!!!" Shining Armor called out as he came to investigate the crime scene, which quickly resembled a Renaissance painting with a bathtub.
"The Pinkie is dead?" Shining Armor asked as Twilight cartoonishly mourned Pinkie.
"We know!" Twilight informed her brother as Shining examined the tub.
"Who killed her?" Shining Armor asked.
"We don't know!" Twilight confessed as Shining examined the crime scene a little more.
"I will find clues!" Shining Armor expressed as he got on the ground and sniffed the area in a very puppy-like manner. His nose lead him to the rotting garbage of old leftover cake, ruined party decorations, perfectly fine Pony Eilish CDs, and a singular spork lying next to the garbage can.
"What's that? A Weapon?" Shining Armor asked as he picked up the spork. Shining pointed the spork at the 4 ponies, who felt threatened by the dangerous weapon, except for Pinkie who was just chilling.
"That thing is why the Pinkie is dead!" Shining Armor deduced at the trio of ponies realized one thing:
"The Pinkie is dead!?!?" The three detectives gasped in horror once they saw the spork.
"Yes! She DIED!" Shining Armor proclaimed as Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash gasped at the conclusion that the Pinkie is dead! Suddenly, Ambulance sirens came closer and closer as Shining Armor was rammed into the Sugar Cube Corner building by a medical cart, and out of the cart came Fluttershy, who hurried herself along.
"Move! Now!" Fluttershy demanded as she shoved the girls away to give Pinkie a smooch on the nose that could rival that of Sleeping Beauty. Just as the kiss has taken effect, Pinkie felt herself laughing and her body reviving as her body floated away in the heavenly light, only to explode in a cloud of confetti.
"In my medical opinion, that PINKIE IS DEAD!!!" Fluttershy proclaimed as she showcased the obvious confetti that was Pinkie.
"Fluttershy? What happened?" Rainbow Dash asked as Twilight and Applejack played Rock, Paper, Scissors for no reason in the background.
"My professional opinion: The Pinkie was killed!!" Fluttershy proclaimed more drastically as the girls all felt a twinge of fear.
"Oh, gosh!" Dash muttered to herself as she, Twilight, and Applejack began debating amongst themselves.
"I don't think it's anything to worry about," Fluttershy advised, as she hopped away.
"Well...now what?" Rainbow Dash asked, piggybacking on Twilight's back. Just then, Zephyr Breeze began conga line-ing towards the crime scene, much to everyone's disappointment.
"Oh, come on," Twilight muttered as Zephyr got close to Pinkie's body.
"Look at this! The stinking Pinkie's dead! What do you think of that?" Zephyr proclaimed, pointing at Pinkie's body and hoping to get a reaction out of the girls. The only such reaction is Pinkie shaking her head in the disapproval that is this stallion.
"Yes, yes, Zephyr? GO HOME!" Twilight ordered as Zephyr was upset to hear her demands.
"Oh come on! Stinking unbelievable! No, seriously. You all stink," Zephyr said as he flew away crashing into Fluttershy's medical cart.
"OK, let's get back to the point!" Twilight suggested, holding up a sign reading "To the point". Rainbow Dash aggressively nodded in agreement. Pinkie decided to poke her own body with a stick to make her own observation.
"I think Pinkie is dead," Pinkie Pie observed.
"The Pinkie is Dead!?!?" Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy gasped in horror at the idea that the Pinkie is Dead. Just then, Fluttershy saw the unconscious Zephyr Breeze and headed over to save him only to get herself blown up. Just then, Pinkie made a startling realization.
"Seriously! Who killed Pinkie?" Pinkie Pie demanded as everyone heard the slurping of...root beer, as Rarity arrived at the crime scene.
"It was me!" Rarity confessed as Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack gasped at Rarity's confession.
"Yes! I did it like this!" Rarity said, as she lit up her horn and blasted Rainbow Dash in the face with a hoof full of magic.
"Whoop-de-doo!!" Rarity danced, as Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack examined Rainbow Dash's blast to the face.
"That's a joke, darlings," Rarity explained, as the three mares started laughing at Rarity's idea of a joke.
"The truth is, it was her!" Rarity proclaimed, pointing at Applejack and chugging another bottle of root beer. The three mares gasped at Rarity's conclusion.
"How did you know?" Applejack asked as Rarity finished her root beer.
"I didn't. That was a joke too," Rarity said, as she drank more and more root beer until she passed out, which is in no way scientifically possible so don't try that at home. Applejack started laughing maniacally as she had a confession of her own to make.
"That's right. It was me," Applejack proudly proclaimed as Twilight couldn't believe Applejack was the murderer.
"You monster!" Twilight objected as Applejack felt no remorse for the action.
"But WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?" Pinkie Pie cried as Applejack sneered at Pinkie.
"Because you ate all my pie Pinkie Pie!" Applejack said as she realized how weird it sounded. Just then, the two Earth Ponies began bickering amongst each other as Twilight couldn't help but watch. Well, it's not like Twilight wanted to help. She just found it odd and shrugged it off.
"APPLEJACK!!!" Pinkie Pie yelled as Applejack spasmed in anger.
"Dang it Pinkie, screw off! You're dead!" Applejack tried to remind the party mare, as Pinkie pulled out her party cannon.
"No u!" Pinkie yelled as she fired her party cannon in Applejack's face, knocking her over and winning the day.
"You are dead! Not big surprise," Pinkie examined as she had finally undone the damage except she did nothing at all.
"Well, that was idiotic. Off to banish myself. Watch and lear--" Twilight said as she lit up her horn and banished herself to the moon for a thousand years for absolutely no reason.
"I am alive. Is nice," Pinkie finally proclaimed as she planned to go about her day, only to realize the chaos that not even Discord would be able to conjure.
"Yes. This is stupid," Pinkie observed as everypony lied possibly unconscious everywhere for no reason.
