My dreams weren't a place that I could escape to.

Everything was an endless sea of white, and I stood alone. I spoke, and my voice would echo off of imaginary walls. I was completely alone, in an empty void. For some reason, I find myself thinking that I would be more calm if it were an empty black space, than an empty white one. Something about emptiness with the lightest color triggers uneasiness inside of myself.

"Interesting, isn't it?"

I turned around to see myself.

"It seems I can only project an outline of myself when you're conscious. Here? You can see me. Or, you."

"Shut up. Please." I groaned, taking a seat on the floor. It mimicked me, sitting as well, only a couple feet away. It shook it's head, looking all around the empty space.

"You're oddly-"

"Shut the fuck up! Please, just leave me alone! I don't know what you are, I don't know why you're bothering me, but I don't want you anywhere around me! You're making me feel fucking crazy. My life is already shit, and with you added on top of it all, I can clearly say that i'm insane."

It sat in silence, simply watching me as I continued to talk.

"My life has always felt shitty. The situation with my father, the situation with the ship and now here. It's all happened so fast- and despite all of that, my life is still boring. What did I do with my life except become a bartender? I tried to get with a friend that I liked, and it always led nowhere. I didn't have many friends outside of work, and I was constantly alone. I get here, and what am I forced to do? Kill, kill, kill."

I began to tear up.

"I hate being here. I hate being alive. What the fuck have I given? I've taken, that's it! I've taken my fathers life, and countless others on this shit planet. I try to tell myself it's because I had to, I try to tell myself that it's because they're worse than me, but even if that's true, I hate it. I'm not stable, I'm not okay."

"And even if it was for the better, for the others to die, then why was I tortured? Why were the only two friends I have tortured? Why did I lose my eye, why did Twilight get slashed across the face, why did Starlight get raped, why did that little girl have to watch her father die?"

I sat in silence, as did the other me. I was shaking by now, and tears were flowing.

"If all living is, is seeing others get hurt and tortured, then I don't want to live. I don't even care about myself anymore- it's just the fact that everyone else is being hurt around me. And, most of the time I'm powerless. I'd love to believe I was capable of stopping Tarbo. I'd love to believe I would be able to be strong enough to flip both Tarbo and his little slave off and say 'fuck you' to their faces all day, and take the punishment because 'im stronger'.."

"But I'm not. I'm weak, I'm boring, and I don't have much to give to the world. I'm an ordinary man, caught in a scenario meant for extraordinary people. The universe chose wrong."

It stared at me, it's face neutral, before giving a sigh. "You have to live, Rex."

"Why?"

"For them. For Twilight. For Starlight. You have to get them home."

"They'd do better without me."

"Not true."

I stood up. "And what, I'm supposed to believe that? That you're god?! That you're fucking jesus christ?! How the fuck can god even exist if shit like this is happening on a shitty planet?! Is this hell?"

"I'm not god. Far from it."

"Then WHAT ARE YOU?!"

It took a couple steps toward me, before pointing a finger at my chest and poking it.

"I'm you."

...

I woke up.

Author's Note

A small dream-chapter.