What happens in Ponyville...

DING!!!

Fluttershy walked into Sugarcube Corner, hoping for some advice. She stepped up to the counter but no one was in sight.

"Um, excuse me."

"Hiya! What brings you here?" Pinkie jumped up from behind the counter, subtly wiping her nose and calming a twitchy eye.

"I just wanted to ask you something." Fluttershy gulped. "Well, I heard about you and Rainbow Dash, and I heard you're really good at... something..." Fluttershy's voice faded off into silence.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Let me guess! Is it tap dancing?!" Pinkie hopped onto the counter and began tapping her hooves with surprising precision.

"No, Pinkie. It was something else... Well you see, me and Twilight got in a fight and there's something I was hoping to get better at so I could make it up to her. Rainbow said a good... um well... she said a good carpet chomp would get me on her good side again." Fluttershy looked across the counter at the still-tapping hooves, a deep blush growing across her cheeks.

Pinkie paused and thought for a moment. "Ohhhhh! Why didn't you say so?! I can help with that..."

She placed a hoof on her chin and cleared her throat. Then, little to Fluttershy's surprise, she began to sing.

So you've got a cutesy marefriend and she's pretty mad at you

You want to make it up to her and know just what to do

But when it comes to eating pie you haven't got a clue

So you came here for a tip, well I've got quite a few

Make sure to set the mood just right and keep the lighting low

Then rub her body hips and thighs make sure to take it slow

Call it insight, practice or just my mare's intuition

But following these steps will bring your plans into fruition!

Eating pie is so exciting

Those fur rugs are too inviting

Subtle licks can turn to biting

The sweet taste is quite delighting!

Now remember when you're going down you can't just jump right in

If you make sure you play your cards right you'll make this mare's head spin

First rub her hooves and kiss her thighs and maybe bite her skin

Then lick around her sweet spot and there's no way you can't win

Make sure the timing's right before you shove your tongue right through

You'll know right when she's ready when her body begs for you

Then slip your tongue inside and don't be scared to get too rough

And then you'll hear that mare scream that she just can't get enough!

Eating pie is so exciting

Those fur rugs are too inviting

Subtle licks can turn to biting

The sweet taste is quite delighting!

Pinkie stood on the counter-top breathing heavily with wide outstretched arms and a bright smile. Fluttershy was looking up at her, jaw hanging ajar and eyes wide. She took a couple steps back, torn between gratefulness and hysteria.