Trigger Happy Equines

What had initially appeared to be the clear blue sky of the outside world was just an illusion. True to its name, the dome was exactly that, an enormous hemisphere of metal and concrete, its outer walls painted sky blue with the occasional cloud formed from brush strokes and the ground painted in a soft, pastel green. The ‘sun’ was just an artificial light that protruded from the dome’s apex, basking the area in a warm glow.

To my right was a rectangular, three-story brick and mortar building lined with square windows. It had just one visible entrance, a set of ornate, mahogany double doors flanked either side by two white stone pillars. The words ‘DOME HOTEL’ were etched into the wood above a carved portrait of Monobunny, his face split down the middle where the two doors met. Leading up to it was a small set of pristine, white marble steps. The building looked decidedly modern and well kept, with a flat concrete roof lined with security cameras and bright, polished window frames.

Stood around fifty feet opposite was a similarly built, but slightly smaller single-story building, its entrance directly facing the hotel. The roof was pyramid-shaped and covered in greyish tiles. Metal struts propped up a large sign that read ‘MonoMonoMart’ in bold red letters. In the corner was a picture of Monobunny giving a thumbs-up with the words ‘Quality products guaranteed! Certified by MonoMono industries!’ coming from a speech bubble. As with the hotel, there were numerous security cameras protruding from the outer walls. Who could possibly be watching? I wondered.

Between the two buildings were two plastic picnic tables, each surrounded by four garden chairs and with a bright red and yellow parasol protruding from the middle. Off at the far edge of the dome was an odd-looking bronze statue of a saluting earth pony stallion atop a marble plinth. Hovering directly above it was a single cloud – the only real one that I could see.

There didn’t appear to be any kind of flora or fauna in the area, no trees, no bushes, no animal life, and (what scared me the most by far) no openings or windows on the walls of the dome itself. What lay outside was a complete mystery. I shuddered at the implications.

However, one item in the dome stood out: a massive iron door bordered with black and yellow hazard tape to the left of the MonoMonoMart, the word ‘EXIT’ displayed clearly on a digital display hanging above it. Rather than feel hopeful at the sight of this, I only felt more despair. I knew there was no way it could be that easy. Monobunny wouldn’t just trap us here so we could waltz right out, and the fact he’d made an emphasized point about us having free reign to try and escape without threat of punishment solidified my fear. He had to be taunting us. This, however, seemed to go over the heads of Yoko, Inky and Button, who had rushed over to the door in an excited frenzy.

“Woohoo!” cheered Inky, throwing up a hoof triumphantly. “Screw you, rabbit, and your stupid game. We’re getting out of here!”

Button tried in vain to push the door open before standing back, looking over it pensively. “There has to be some kind of trick! What if there’s a magic key somewhere, or a passcode?” He stood on his hind legs and raised his hooves to the sky in a form of mock ritual. “Open… sesame!” The door responded in kind by not budging an inch.

“Stand back, little one!” Yoko cried, motioning for Button to clear the way. “I’ll break this thing down!” He trotted backwards to give himself some space, the pawed at the ground like an angry bull. He tensed his body and sprang into action, sprinting full-pelt at the door with a speed that betrayed his immense size. Despite charging with the force of a locomotive he crashed spectacularly against the door with a metallic clang echoing throughout the dome. Not even a dent.

“You idiot,” Shetland chided, shaking his head. “Of course you can’t just force it open! That’s a cast-iron, industrial barricade!”

“And it’s fifteen inches thick, too!” Monobunny added. “Not much short of a nuclear blast could break this baby open! But you’re welcome to keep trying. Like I said before, I have no objections to escape attempts!”

Because there is no escape, I thought somberly. I’d secretly hoped this was all just an elaborate prank, but every passing moment hammered an extra nail into the coffin.

“Pah.” Yoko sprang back to his hooves and spit to one side. “You call me an idiot, Shitland, but I don’t see you coming up with any bright ideas. In fact, you seem all too co-operative.” Yoko grinned mischievously. “Seems kinda suspicious if you ask me.”

Shetland’s face flared with anger, a vein popping out above his eyeline and his neck muscles pulsing violently. “You watch what you say.”

“Oho… Is that some kind of threat?” Yoko chuckled. “What are you gonna do, officer? Arrest me for pointing out the truth?”

“You think I’m scared of you, wrestler?”

“Come on,” Mesmer said, stepping between the two stallions. “Both of you, just stop it.” He glared back and forth between Yoko and Shetland. “Let’s just take a look around and find out what we’re dealing with. Then we’ll work together to escape.”

“Fine,” Shetland said, backing away. Despite his tone becoming calmer his face was still flush with anger. “Let’s get this over with.”

“No problem,” Yoko said with a shrug.

“First stop, the hotel!” Monobunny cried, hopping joyfully up the steps and opening the door. As everyone filed through – Yoko and Shetland staying at opposite ends of the group – I heard Inky whisper under her breath, “Shitland,” to which both she and Pinkie had to hold their sides to suppress an attack of the giggles.

“But what if it’s like, a haunted hotel!?” Button exclaimed. “I’ve played Jockey Tower; I know where this is going!”

“Oh, don’t worry my little colt,” Maribelle said soothingly, her thick Chevalian accent becoming immediately apparent. She wrapped her forehooves around Button’s midsection and pulled him into a tight hug. Since she was wearing a frilly black dress, similar to that of a traditional maid outfit, albeit one that draped over her legs, the scene was oddly suggestive. “I shall be there to protect you, little Button. Don’t you worry at all.”

Button’s body went completely limp, his eyes glazed over and his cheeks reddening to near bursting point. “Thank you,” he said dreamily, a dopey grin plastered on his face. He was released from the hug and excitedly followed Maribelle inside. Admittedly, I could imagine my own response to such treatment would’ve been similar, in part due to – I must admit this fact – Maribelle’s positively astonishing beauty. While I could somewhat discern her physical attributes despite her clothing, it did leave plenty to the imagination.

I was pulled from my reverie by Dopple’s hoof waving in front of my eyes. “You coming?”

My heart skipped a beat at that question. I saw that everyone else had already gone inside. “Y-yeah, sorry.”

We filed into the hotel foyer, Monobunny leading the way. The floor was a cold, reflective marble with a black and white checkerboard pattern and the walls were painted a soft magnolia. From the ceiling hung a gold-coated fan light, spinning lazily with a low hum. True to the appearance of the exterior of the building there were two ceiling-mounted security cameras in each of the far corners, giving a clear view of the entrance. To the right was a small wooden helpdesk on which stood nothing but a brass reception bell and a small sign which read ‘Ring for assistance.’

“If anyone ever needs to get a hold of me, just ring this bell!”

“Well that’s a relief,” Sanscript muttered under his breath. “That means we won’t always have to put up with you.”

“I can’t hang around with you guys and gals all the time, you know?” Monobunny said, eliciting a nervous flinch from Sanscript who didn’t think he’d been heard. “I have to leave you to your own devices so the killings can start!”

On the wall opposite the entrance was a series of framed maps, one for each of the three floors of the hotel.

Hotel Floor 1

Hotel Floor 2

Hotel Floor 3

Most of the rooms were designated to a specific pony, which I quickly assumed was what the individual keycards hung around our necks were for, a similar setup to an actual hotel. Given the danger of our current situation I concluded that having a safe place to sleep that nobody else had access to was of utmost importance.

The first floor listed eight participant rooms as well as a janitor’s room, laundry room and dining room/ kitchen. My room was on the second floor with six others, plus a recreation room and library. Curiously, there was a single room without a description, and I considered it might be a control room for the security camera feeds. If that was the case, there had to be someone watching. I made a mental note of its location and checked the other maps.

One showed the entirety of the dome, albeit with little detail outside of what we’d seen thus far when we’d stepped out of the holding chamber. The hotel, the shop, the statue, the exit. There was nothing new or interesting to garner from it. However, the map for the third floor had me immediately befuddled, as perfectly encapsulated by Elsie’s well-timed outburst.

“What is this!?” Elsie blasted, pointing angrily at the map. “The humdrum décor and paltry color choices I could just about stomach, b-b-but...!” She took a deep breath. “A swimming pool? On the top floor? Do you know how many issues that raises!?”

“It does seem a bizarre choice,” Sanscript added, peering closer at the map. “However, I can’t say I was expecting this place to make complete sense, considering where we all started.”

“That’s not the point!” Elsie blared. “We’re talking structural integrity, the possibility of water leakage, unnecessary upkeep, plus the absolutely disastrous overall layout of this place. It’s a complete and utter mess!”

Mesmer rolled his eyes. “Come on. We’re wasting time talking nonsense.” He pressed on through the right-hand door with Monobunny racing after him.

“Hey! I’m the one leading the tour!”

The rest of us followed after them, I myself getting dragged along into the center of the group as we walked along the corridor. The walls were covered in a lime-green wallpaper with vertical stripes while the carpet was a thin and fibrous sky blue. “Just horrid!” came Elsie’s comment from towards the front of the pack. As expected, a number of security cameras hung from the ceiling. It would soon turn out that this was true of every area of the dome.

“Hey,” Yoko said, pointing to a door along the right-hand side. “This is me!” A stylized, pixelated version of Yoko was ingrained into the wooden door panel, depicting him from a profile perspective. Instead of a doorknob or handle there was a grey, metallic pad with a plastic black strip embedded into the door. Yoko swiped his neck-bound keycard onto the pad and a there was a small blip followed by the door’s lock disengaging. Yoko smiled to himself and began to step inside.

“You back there!” Monobunny fumed. He bounded towards Yoko and pulled the door shut in one swift motion. The door collided with Yoko’s head and the stallion recoiled with a grunt. “You can go back to your room after I’ve given you the tour! Just settle down and be…” Monobunny trailed off as he noticed Pinkie Pie wandering up ahead into her room, a spring in her step. “Get back here!” he bellowed, and before anyone could realize what he was doing, had zigzagged through the tangle of ponies and into Pinkie’s room. A second later he emerged, pulling Pinkie by the tail as the mare’s four hooves screeched across the floor. Finally, he tossed her outside and slammed the door shut. “Can’t you all just wait until the tour is over!? There’s no escape pod in your rooms, believe me! Just be patient and you can do whatever you want!”

As Monobunny forged ahead, followed by Mesmer, Shetland and the rest of us, Pinkie frowned worriedly. “There are cameras in my room, too.”

“Same here,” Yoko added. “I could see it above the bed.”

“That’s sick,” Elsie muttered. “Watching us while we sleep? Just sick.”

The rest of the tour of the first two floors happened without much incident, nobody else attempting to gain access to their personal rooms given Yoko and Pinkie’s treatment. As expected, each personal room had a similar pixelated image of the relevant participant in the exact same place designated by the maps in the entrance lobby. Monobunny instead made sure to point out the location of other important areas such as the dining room, with built in tables, stools and leather seating jutting from the wall. The aesthetic was very diner-like, with a small kitchen situated at its corner. Our visit was fleeting, however, as Monobunny seemed to be in a hurry to cover the rest of the hotel.

Looking to everyone else, it seemed liked the majority were following orders out of convenience, like penguins leaping after their flock for fear of being left behind. Mesmer and Shetland, however, stood at the forefront, the former taking stern aspect of his surroundings with a concerned glance before receding, while the latter barreled feverishly around, appearing more and more agitated with each passing moment. My two guesses were that they were either determined to find some kind of escape route, (which I found difficult to believe in in the first place) or they had other, more sinister motives to consider.

The first floor also housed a laundry room full of boxy, old-style washing machines and dryers. The floor was made up of small white tiles, and there were two central pillars from floor to ceiling between which a flat bench sat. The room was needlessly large from my perspective, as few of us were wearing clothing. Maribelle had her (presumably) maid outfit, Shetland wore a small police polo shirt and Dish Panner wore a smart black gown, but that was it. There may have been towels or possibly pajamas to worry about, but the sheer number of washers and dryers was excessive to say the least. I wondered if that meant something important.

There was also a small utility room with cleaning supplies and a closet for storage. The size of our group made it difficult to all shuffle in to each space, and I mostly just peered into each room to orient myself with the placings shown on the maps. With the layout checking out as expected, I knew my next goal: the unmarked room on the second floor.

At Monobunny’s request (any apparent rebellion against his directive had simmered down due to his unnatural ability to maneuver Yoko and Pinkie, a feat which made me once again question exactly what Monobunny really was and what he was capable of) we plodded up the stairs in twos (except for Yoko who couldn’t fit in the walkway beside another pony) the sound of our hooves against the paneled hardwood resembling a military march. I was near the front of the group with only Shetland, Mesmer, Copper and Dr. Scalpel before me and Dopple at my left side. My plan was to immediately break from the crowd and head to the mystery room, ready to bust open an important clue. If anything, it would show that I was someone to be relied on.

My heart sank as I was beaten to the punch. Shetland, Mesmer, Dopple and Dr. Scalpel had headed straight there the moment they’d reached the second floor while Copper looked on warily, keeping close to Monobunny. The rabbit looked as if he had anticipated this and stood with his paws crossed, facing the landing.

The door was just the same as every other guest room but with one key difference – there was no pixelated image of the supposed occupant. Instead, the door was plain mahogany without an image or unique pattern of any kind.

Shetland pressed his keycard up against the grey pad first. No sound or light was emitted, and upon trying to push open the door it wouldn’t budge. He motioned for Mesmer to attempt it but the result was the same. Dr. Scalpel tried next and again, nothing. Already I could feel that my spark of genius, my almighty deduction was just a moment of naïve excitement. I backed away as more from the group began to crowd around.

“It’s that room!” Sanscript noted. “The one that was left blank on the map.”

“W-well, what’s he hiding in there?” Reph added.

“Whatever it is,” Yoko said, “We could always break the door down!”

“I think the rules state,” Mesmer said, “that breaking any of the locks would result in punishment, so I would advise against it.” He turned towards Monobunny. “Who has access to this room?”

“Why, nobody!” the rabbit said gleefully.

“Is that a codeword?” Button Mash asked, tearing himself away from Maribelle’s side for the first time since they’d entered the hotel. “When he says ‘nobody,’ does that mean it’s your room?” He walked up and pointed directly at me. I felt my cheeks flush at the mention of that word. Ultimate Nobody. So of course, even the teenager of the group had remembered that. They all knew now, of course. There was no getting around the fact I was the most pathetic and worthless one here. I only wish Monobunny could’ve lied to them.

“I’ve had it on certain games,” Button continued, staring off into space. “You come to a new area, there’s a puzzle to solve, and you’ve got a scroll with a riddle on it, and sometimes there’s a codeword that you might miss.” He nodded, assuring himself of his logic. “So if nobody can get in, maybe you can?”

The way he had so innocently uttered that word unsettled me. I could feel everyone else’s eyes on me, waiting for me to make a move. I was now the center of attention and it made me weak at the knees. My plan had been to get to this room, and now I didn’t want to go near it, just in case Button was right.

I felt a hoof on my left shoulder and flinched instinctively. “Go on,” Dopple said, flashing a quick smile. “We’ll all try it, just to be sure.”

I took a deep breath and smiled back, thankful for the support but still on edge. I walked up to the door and pressed my keycard to the reader. Nothing. I sighed and stepped aside, feeling a slight relief. Everyone else lined up to try as I leaned against the wall.

“I already told you, nobody can get in!” Monobunny growled. “But I guess I’ll allow this since technically you’re all doing this to find an escape route, and that’s encouraged, so I’ll let it slide. But once you’ve all wasted your time it’s back to the tour!” He shook his head. “There’s nothing in there of use, anyway.”

“Why should we trust what you say?” Elsie asked haughtily. “You could be lying about this whole thing!”

“I’ll have you know I never lie! Lying is completely against my nature. The most crippling despair of all is that which comes from the truth! If I just lied all the time this game would be no fun.”

“So if we ask you a question,” Yoko said, “you have to tell us the truth?”

“No way!” Monobunny blared, shaking his head. “Telling a lie and concealing the truth are two very different things! I can’t go telling you everything or it’ll ruin the game! A nice, healthy balance between knowledge and wonder is the best way. Because with wonder comes hope! And when hope fails as the truth is revealed, that’s the recipe for ultimate despair!” He began to stroll down the hallway. “Now, now, you’ve all had your turn with that door. It’s time to move! Follow me to the gym!”

As we followed Monobunny along the corridor – a near identical replica of the first floor in terms of décor and color scheme, each and every aspect in an utmost prime and perfect condition – I couldn’t help but feel there was sense in believing what he had said. In his position as game master of something so heinous and terrible, it would only serve to his advantage that we would learn to trust his word over the words of each other. Trust had to be earned and being fed lies was the easiest way to lose that trust. By trusting him and distrusting each other, we would begin to view him as an unopposable constant rather than a common enemy. The only way to prevent this was for everyone to trust in each other, but this was nigh impossible. And that was what gave Monobunny power beyond anything else. For a moment I desperately hoped he was lying, but then I considered that thought fell perfectly in line with his so-called recipe for ultimate despair. I didn’t know what to think, and that frightened me more than anything.

The gym looked more like something you’d expect in a school than in a hotel, with squeaky-clean laminated wood-paneled flooring and three tin lampshades lined along its middle, lighting the room. The ceiling was a few feet higher than any previous rooms with high archways of metal beams placed at either side. The walls were bare brick, a stark contrast from the decorative wallpaper and white plaster anywhere else.

At the right-hand wall were two treadmills and two pedal machines while at the left-hand wall was a collection of barbell weights propped up on a metal rack and a lifting bench. Beside those were two MDF pillars, between which was a metal bar a little above head height, presumably for pullups. Also present was a balance beam and vaulting horse, plus a stack of a dozen or so blue safety mats. All in all, it made me wonder just how much money had been put into this “game.” Everything looked brand new, and there had to be an ambitious level of planning, construction and furnishing involved. Even if this was already an ordinary hotel before Monobunny (or whoever) had commandeered it, and even if the MonoMart was already part of a pre-existing tourist complex, the dome itself would still have needed to be built to house it all. This wasn’t the same as throwing us into an abandoned building and boxing us in; this had needed the influence of someone rich enough, powerful enough, influential enough and crazy enough to pull off.

“Now this is what I’m talking about!” Yoko said cheerily, taking a deep breath and looking around the room. “I was starting to get worried I’d have to skimp on my training regiment. Can’t let this godly body turn to mush!” He picked up one of the dumbbells from the weight rack and began pumping it in quick succession with his right foreleg.

The tour continued to the library which looked as expected: three aisles of wooden bookshelves packed with various hardbacks, paperbacks, leather tomes and boxed sets of all sizes. This time it was Sanscript’s turn to get excited as he paced along the closest row, running his hoof along the spines and mouthing to himself. Button was meanwhile marveling over a collection of graphic novels on a smaller bookstand, showing them off to Maribelle as the mare looked on with a believable level of feigned interest.

I browsed the nearby shelves, noticing a novel or two that I’d already read. It didn’t excite me all that much to have such a breadth of reading material at my disposal, even if I’d been a somewhat avid reader. It might’ve been as close to a passion as I’d managed in my humdrum life, but being stuck in this abnormal scenario had lessened the appeal for fictional escapism. We left quickly.

The recreation room was our last stop on the second floor, a cozy space with two faux leather sofas facing each other and an oblong-shaped table between them taking up the right-hand side of the room. To the left-hand side was an old-school pinball machine (themed after the popular movie Barn Wars) and a contemporary cabinet topped with playing cards and board games like Monopony, Galaxy Wagon and Memoir ’69.

Just to the left, on the wall opposite the door was a fireplace protected by a large, bronze-coated guard. Metal cages of tinder, logs and coal sat beside it with gold-plated pokers and tongs hung up on hooks. The surrounding cladding was traditional speckled white stone that stretched up to the ceiling (the map had indicated that there was space above this spot for the chimney) and the mantlepiece held three ceramic ornaments, all variations of Monobunny striking a different pose. The right-hand wall had a long, head-high window that looked out on the fake, painted sky of the dome’s inside. Elsie was visibly unimpressed, as per usual.

Next we were led up to the third and final floor, Monobunny stopping at the crossroads and facing the landing. “I hope you’re all listening carefully as this floor has a particular rule that I’ve not mentioned yet.” The group arranged themselves in a semicircle around him. “It is vital that upon reaching this floor, all the males head to the left and all the females head to the right. That should lead you to your respective locker rooms for the swimming area.”

“E-excuse me,” Reph said, raising a hoof. “What should that matter? As far as changing into bathing suits and the like, it’s not like we can’t already see each other as Celestia intended.” The last comment had me immediately curious, but I didn’t speak up. It wasn’t beyond comprehension to assume I was ill-informed of the sayings of certain provinces or cultures.

“For one, not everyone holds the same viewpoints as you do! It’s traditional here in the dome for separate changing areas to exist, and more than that, if you enter the wrong area, you die.”

A lump formed in my throat. Dopple spoke up. “How? How would we die?”

“Why, by machine gun of course!” Monobunny replied gleefully. The crowd looked amongst each other. “If all the stallions would like to follow me to the left while the mares wait here for a moment, I’d be glad to explain!” He began hopping off down the left-hand corridor.

“Guess we’d better do what he says,” Shetland sighed, walking after him. The rest of the stallions followed reluctantly, Maribelle giving a quick goodbye to Button to assure him that they’d be reunited shortly. I instinctively looked towards Dopple and quickly turned back as our eyes met. The locker room was ahead.

As soon as we all saw it, we knew. Monobunny wasn’t bluffing. A door stood before us, much like any other door with a keycard reader. The difference was, beside it, connected by a black metal supporting arm and pointing directly at the door, hung a security camera. Attached to its side was something unmistakable: a chain-gun with a long coil of ammunition.

“The locks to each locker room will only allow specific participants to enter, which means only stallions on this side and only mares on the other side. And as an added security precaution, if the camera should ever see anyone trying to get into the incorrect locker room, this machine gun will mow then down, no compromises!” He then pointed to a digital display above the door, showing the time to be 16:23. Next to it was a sign that read ‘Swimming pool opening times: 07:00 – 18:00’ “The same is also true if you try getting in while the pool is not officially open, so make sure you follow the rules or you’ll be cut to ribbons!”

I stared directly down the barrel of the gun, an intense fear that it would spring to life at any moment washing over me. Button, Sanscript and Reph shrank back.

“And just in case you’re wondering, it’s positively impossible to move fast enough to avoid being shot. Go ahead and try it if you like but you’ll never move faster than my cameras can see.” He looked back and forth to each of us. “Well, come on! You’re all stallions here, so you can get inside no problem! You have my word.” With that, he gestured towards the door.

Nobody moved for several seconds until Mesmer finally stepped forward. “It’s not like we have much choice,” he said as he stepped in front of the line of fire. I saw him subtly flinch as he neared the machine gun, his air of coolness faltering for just a moment. We all grew tense as he pressed his keycard into place and the door allowed entry. He walked on through and the rest of us tentatively followed, keeping our eyes on the death machine that was primed and ready to go. We all walked inside without incident and breathed a collective sigh of relief.

The locker room itself contained two rows of tall, thin, metallic green lockers that stood opposite each other. Each had a small keycard reader and a name plaque in the center, one for each stallion present. Common sense dictated that each lock required its own unique card, which appeared to be the case as Reph and Button opened up their own but were unable to open any others. Shetland followed suit and confirmed the fact.

“Right,” Shetland said, moving to the corner of the room and directing his attention to everyone else. “Let’s all open up our lockers. We need to be sure of what we’re dealing with here.” We all followed suit, revealing nothing but empty lockers in the process. “Now I need to check something. Monobunny?”

“Right here!”

“You said before that breaking or tampering with locks was prohibited, but does that also include things connected to them?”

Monobunny scratched his head dramatically. “Well I guess not technically but, what are you getting at?”

“The hinges on these lockers,” Shetland said. “Provided the locks themselves remain functional, wouldn’t it be possible to tear the doors off by their hinges without disobeying the rules?”

“Well that’s…” Monobunny tensed up his paws and stomped angrily at the ground. “Okay, yes! Fine! I concede! You’ve got me! Tearing the doors off by their hinges won’t incur punishment, but I still don’t like it!”

“What is the point of this?” Sanscript asked. “What difference does it make?”

“I understand,” Mesmer said. “These lockers could be used to conceal weapons and other dangerous items. It’s a communal area too, so it’s rife for a potential murder to occur. By removing them, that can’t happen. Isn’t that right?”

“Precisely,” Shetland affirmed. “So if you’ll all keep your lockers open, we’ll get to it.”

Yoko let out a snide chuckle. “You really think you’re the boss around here? Telling us what to do like you’re protecting us when really you just like controlling others.”

Shetland frowned and squared up to Yoko. Next to just about anyone else, the pegasus would’ve been a towering, burly chunk of toned muscle with an immense power of intimidation. He was one of the largest and most well-built ponies I’d ever met, but he was still a few inches shorter and significantly slimmer than Yoko’s hulking frame of fat and muscle.

“Listen here!” Shetland bellowed. “You might be too stupid to see it, but I’m keeping order and calm here in a time of great need! We all need to be on the same team if we’re to get out of here!”

“Nice speech,” Yoko said, rolling his eyes, “but I’m not convinced. Who put you in charge, anyway?”

“You think you could do a better job, wrestler? Do you know who I am? Do you know what I’ve had to deal with in the past!?” Shetland raised his right foreleg and for a split second, I thought we were about to witness a brawl break out. Instead, he swiftly and angrily reached into the pocket on his polo shirt and removed a leather pouch. He opened it up to reveal a gleaming golden badge. Yoko looked at it, unimpressed.

“This!” Shetland said, holding the badge to Yoko’s face, “is the sign that I have what it takes to be in charge! Over a decade of sweat, blood and tears protecting Equestria’s citizens from degenerate scum. Do you know how many officers and citizens I’ve saved from gun-toting maniacs? How many operations I carried out to bring down drug rings? Then there’s the foal trafficking. Terrorist groups. Ponies at the end of their rope who grab any weapon they can find and go on a rampage. I’ve seen things that’d turn your insides out and plague you with nightmares for the rest of your days. I raised through the ranks of the force and brought a reign of terror for would-be criminals and I saved more citizens than you’ll probably ever meet. Though I had my team behind me, it was my leadership that brought out the best in them.”

Yoko’s bravado fell for a moment. He seemed genuinely affected by Shetland’s speech. However, his trademark smirk quickly returned and he sighed. “Well okay,” he said, shrugging. “We’ll see how well you do.”

Shetland nodded. “You don’t have to like me, wrestler. The feeling is mutual there. But regardless of what we think of each other, I’m committed to saving as many as I can, no matter what. That is my mission in life, even if it means saving someone with an attitude like yours.” He turned to the rest of us. “We remove the locker doors without damaging the magnetic locks. That way, none of us have the potential to hide weapons in here. Are we all clear?”

The rest of us nodded. Button raised his hoof. “Um, how are we meant to do that? I don’t think I can even bend them.” He prodded at his open door unsurely.

“It’s fine,” Shetland replied. “I’ll do it.” With that, he grasped Button’s door between his hooves and bent its top half. Then he applied force next to the hinges, the metal bowing out of shape. With another quick yank, the door was pried away from its hinges and ripped away completely. Shetland tossed it into the corner and started again on the next one.

“You look like you struggled with that one,” Yoko chided. “This is how it should be.” He took his own door, put a hoof at its back, clamped his teeth down at its top and wrenched the door off in one quick, animalistic action. He yawned theatrically and threw the door into the same corner.

Shetland’s face tensed up and his wing feathers ruffled with rage. “This isn’t a competition!” he roared. “I was trying to be careful, but whatever! You want proof I’m stronger than that!?” He took the next door and pulled at it ferociously, breaking it free within a matter of seconds. Yoko was busy tearing the rest away, counting audibly with each one.

“J-just calm down, you two!” Reph cried. “We need to k-keep a cool head and not get messed up in foalish nonsense!”

Reph’s protests fell on deaf ears. By the end of it, with all seven doors piled up, Yoko pushed out his chest triumphantly. “Four over three, but I must admit, you did your best, leader.”

Shetland snorted. “Keep talking it up, wrestler. You’re only making yourself look more suspicious by the second.”

Monobunny stepped back from the wall he was leaning on and sighed. “Now are you all quite finished desecrating my wonderful hotel? Come on! The tour isn’t finished!”

“Oh yeah,” Button said, smiling. “I almost forgot we were going to the pool. Normally I don’t worry myself with physical exercise, but pools are different! I wonder if Maribelle will swim with me, that way she’d finally take that outfit off.” The doors to the pool resembled classic saloon doors, two wooden panels forming an arched shape that could be pushed open from either side. Button leaped through, only to glance to his left and scream. He immediately jumped back inside the locker room, hyperventilating.

“What is it?” Sanscript asked.

“It’s another machine gun! We’re trapped like rats!”

Shetland peeked outside and instantly recoiled, ducking his head back behind the doorframe.

“Just go out the door already!” Monobunny ordered. “Of course there’s another machine gun out there. Otherwise you stallions and mares could get into each other’s locker rooms from the inside. Oh, and just like the one you saw before, these work on the same principle. If they see anyone entering the wrong locker room, ratta-tat-tat! You’re swiss cheese! Of course, all of you here are safe, so make a move!”

Shetland begrudgingly followed as Monobunny leaped into the pool area and the rest of us followed suit. Sure enough, in the corner sat a large camcorder on a tripod, next to which sat a monstrous machine gun, ammunition coiled around its base. I looked to the right and saw that another one was in the opposite corner aiming at the doorway to the female locker room.

I took a look around the room, gazing at the clear, rippling water reflecting and refracting the pristine blue tiles that surrounded it. The smell of chlorine was oddly pleasant. I could recall only a few times when I’d gone swimming in my life, and those were limited to school trips. I was just barely able to swim. After all, there was no reason for me to be any good. I could never afford to visit a beach or swimming pool, not that I felt particularly inclined.

In that moment I felt a strange turmoil build up inside me. As contradictory as it was, I began to feel an air of luxury and reward for simply being here. I reminded myself that we were all prisoners, all slaves to a terrible game of life and death where murder was the only chance of escape. I told myself this over and over again, leering at the other stallions and considering that any one of them could potentially end my life. At the same time, however, I was now in a place that I could never have dreamed of visiting. A gym? A pool? A dining area? A store that gave away food for free? What would I have done if I hadn’t been captured? Probably left out on the streets to freeze in the winter or hurled into a jail cell and left to rot. Either that or I’d have leapt from my apartment window and made modern art on the pavement, desperate to avoid some terrible fate. Everyone else here had fallen from grace, but I was already in the gutter beforehand, just barely able to survive. I had no-one to interact with, no-one to follow or form a bond. But now there was no getting around it; I couldn’t possibly be lonely with the fourteen others around me. I pondered if being dragged into this mess was a blessing or a curse. Whatever it was, I didn’t miss home.

The mares came in next led by Pinkie Pie, who excitedly gasped upon entry and began clambering up the ladder to a diving board on the side next to the female locker room. She arrived at the top and began bouncing up and down gleefully. Then she let out an excited cheer, jumped, tucked into a ball and hit the water with an almighty splash. When she surfaced she spurt water into the air like a fountain, backstroking to the other end.

“Pinkie!” Inky cried. “I told you the water might be acid but you just jumped in without checking!”

“Nuh-uh!” Pinkie retorted. “If there was this much acid it would sting my eyes just by being near it. Also, wouldn’t it be super expensive to fill an entire pool with acid? Where would you even get all that from? And it’d eat through the grout in between the tiles so unless someone dumped it all in here just a second ago, which by the looks of things they couldn’t have done, it just wouldn’t be the case.”

Inky raised an eyebrow, looking befuddled. “But how do you know that?”

“The windows,” Pinkie said, pointing upwards. Above the wall opposite the locker rooms was a series of windows to the outside, positioned a few meters out of reach near the area’s high ceiling. “There are handles on the inside, but not the outside. They’re closed now, which means nopony on the outside could have snuck in with buckets or troughs or whatever and then locked the windows behind themselves.” She smiled contentedly. “And anyway, a pool’s a pool! We can’t go getting paranoid about every little thing now, can’t we?”

I was surprised at Pinkie’s display of logic but even more surprised by a particular word she’d used. It was Dish Panner who confronted her, however. “Pinkie, I’d mind if you didn’t use such language.”

Pinkie looked genuinely perplexed. “I… have no idea what you mean.”

Dish Panner sighed. It appeared several others had also been caught off-guard by Pinkie’s slip up, especially Inky for reasons that I thought obvious. “I’m afraid,” Dish Panner began, “that despite what you may be accustomed to, it is extremely rude to use words like ‘nopony’ and ‘somepony’ in this day and age. You’re cutting zebras, griffons and other species out of the equation by saying that. Instead say ‘nobody’ and ‘somebody.’ It’s more inclusive.”

Pinkie stopped swimming for a moment and merely floated, taken aback. “Wait, don’t tell me I was being…” She gulped. “Racist?”

“You may not have meant it,” Dish Panner continued, “but many would consider that to be the case. None of us here shall reprimand you as your upbringing is none of our business, but in future could you please use the more accepted terms?”

Pinkie clambered out of the water, her usually joyful demeanor drained completely. “I… I had no idea,” she muttered. Then, tears forming at her eyes, she leapt towards Inky and gave the mare an intense hug. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be insensitive! I’ve always said ‘nopony’ and nopon… I mean, nobody said I was wrong! Please, please accept my apology! I promise to do better! I don’t think less of zebras, honest!”

“It’s f-fine,” Inky croaked, her neck almost crushed by Pinkie’s embrace. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

Pinkie let go and began sobbing, Inky consoling her. I had to wonder where Pinkie came from that those particular words were still in use. In my entire life I’d only ever heard the word ‘somepony’ used in a derogatory manner. It was common knowledge, I thought, that such language was considered inappropriate. I chalked it up to either a secluded upbringing or a fringe culture that hadn’t adopted non-pony-specific words, neither of which were Pinkie’s fault.

Within a minute or so Monobunny insisted on us leaving, so we obliged, heading through the gender-specific locker rooms and once again past the terrifying machine guns. Our last stop was the MonoMonoMart opposite the hotel, an all-purpose store where everything was free. It sounded too good to be true.

We walked back outside the hotel, past the picnic tables and arrived at our destination. Much like the swimming area, a sign with the words ‘Opening times: 07:00 – 20:00’ was next to the entrance along with a digital clock above the doorway, now reading 16:57. The doors were automatic and slid open as we approached the welcome mat, a short jingle playing over the store’s speaker system followed by the words “Welcome to MonoMonoMart” in a posh mare’s voice.

“Like I told you earlier,” Monobunny said, “everything here is completely free! That’s the MonoMonoMart’s price promise!”

I stepped inside and froze in awe. It was even better than I could have imagined. Rows and rows of aisles were lined up along each side packed to the brim with all kinds of food, drink and various knick-knacks of all kinds. Directly in front were rows of wicker baskets filled with fruit and vegetables. I stepped up to a pile of apples for inspection. Each and every one I picked up was plump and appetizing, not a single rotten specimen among them. The same was true for everything else from potatoes to parsnips to bananas and more. In my old life I could have only dreamed of such things and now I had it all for the taking?

And that wasn’t all. Stacked on aisles were boxes of cakes, potato chips, rice crackers, biscuits, loaves of bread and all kinds of confectionary. Along the wall was a line of refrigerators filled with fruit juice, milk, fizzy drinks, wine, beer and cider. On the shelves next to it were bottles of whiskey, rum and other spirits. An important thing to note, however, was that everything in the store bore unique packaging with pictures of Monobunny and names such as ‘MonoVodka’ and ‘MonoBread.’ A nearby box of cereal had Monobunny delving into a bowl of corn flakes with a black and white spoon, milk spilling over the sides of the bowl. My immense shock and elation quickly turned sour as I considered the ramifications. To simply stock this volume of items would require immense wealth and power. To stock an entire store with uniquely branded items would require something more, something unprecedented. It was absolutely unbelievable and yet here I was, standing in the middle of it. I looked up at the security cameras placed along the ceiling. Who the hell is watching and what do you want? I wondered. But I feared I already knew the answer.

Everyone had entered the store now, a bevvy of gasps and mutterings emanating throughout the group. Sanscript and Reph were too stunned to move, merely gawping at the sight before them. Pinkie Pie grabbed Inky by the hoof and ran around in a frenzy, squealing with delight at each new discovery. Maribelle was prying Button away from the alcohol section while the colt whined about how this was his “one and only chance.”

I began milling about, venturing further towards the rear of the store. There were scented candles, toiletries and even cologne amongst other things. But it was what was waiting for me at the far end that stopped me dead in my tracks. Shetland, Dr. Scalpel, Elsie and Mesmer were there too, looking on worriedly. This was the hardware section. Hanging along the wall were lump hammers, crowbars, wrenches, hacksaws, giant screwdrivers, coils of rope and – most unsettling of all – large kitchen knives, serrated blades and pairs of shears hanging from a rack. It was a veritable treasure trove of diabolical murder weapons ready and waiting. Everything here is completely free! I felt sick to my stomach.

“I knew we’d find something like this,” Shetland said gravely. “The question is how we stop anyone from getting ahold of it.”

“Unless we set up constant patrols,” Scalpel said, “we couldn’t possibly.”

“It might be something to consider,” Shetland said. “I’m thinking of holding a meeting tomorrow morning so we can discuss things like this. We should also make sure nobody takes anything while we’re here now.”

“It's sickening,” Elsie commented, turning away. “The way they’re all so shiny and giant and grotesque, propped up like vile monoliths.”

“Oh?” Mesmer said. “Are you saying you’d rather an easy to conceal pocket knife was available?” He bore his gaze into Elsie’s skull.

“O-of course not!” Elsie stammered, her cheeks glowing. “I meant nothing of the sort! It’s just the mere sight of these things is horrific!”

“Awww…” Monobunny had popped seemingly from nowhere and given the unicorn mare a deadly fright. “Are you saying you don’t like my special little collection? They’re all top quality stainless steel! Only the biggest and best, most terrifying, most monstrous, sharpest, stabbiest, slashiest, skull-shattering, bone-crunching weapons are good enough for my lovely participants! Pocket knives?” Monobunny mimicked a disgusted spit at the ground. “Are for pathetic cowards! Murder should be spectacular and cinematic, not sneaky and boring! As a side note, stashing away murder tools or hiding things by swallowing them is also disallowed! Otherwise we’d need to slice you open to find the clues and that just creates problems! Trust me, it’s happened.”

“You little freak!” Elsie screeched, storming towards him. “I don’t see why we don’t just–”

Shetland held her back forcibly. “Calm yourself,” he said. “Attacking him isn’t a good idea. We don’t know what could happen. Right now our goal is to survive and escape from this place, together.”

It might have been my imagination but I sensed a slight quiver in Shetland’s voice as he spoke. It was as if he didn’t truly believe what he’d said. Escaping together. I wondered if such a thing was even possible. It seemed much more likely that Monobunny was entirely correct. The only way out of here was to kill and leave everyone else to die. And anyone here could be desperate enough to do just that.

I backed away from the scene, trying to get my thoughts in order. I walked past tins of paint, paint rollers, packets of nails, screws, tubes of glue and other DIY equipment. It was all so much, too much, as if offering us all the means to live in this cursed place forever. That didn’t seem so bad, but there was no way everyone else felt the same way. Anyone could snap. I turned a corner and immediately eyed a plastic tray containing something familiar. I froze, a recent memory flashing through my mind.

“Yes indeed!” Monobunny cried. I turned around to see him addressing me specifically. Everyone else was busy elsewhere.

“What do you want?” I asked, not hoping for an answer but having nothing else to say.

“I was just wondering how long it’d be before you found these. After all, you had plenty in your apartment!”

I flinched. It was easy to forget that every ounce of my privacy had been breached. He knew everything there was to know. In the medicine cabinet in my bathroom was a number of razor blades.

“I like to keep some of these around just in case any participants want to ‘check out’ of the game. Just remember, across the street keeps you alive but down the road you’ll surely die! Perhaps you’ll finally go through with it this time, eh? You wouldn’t be the first and I’m sure you won’t be the last! Pu-hu-hu-hu-hu!”

I stormed away, too emotional to even react. It was true. I’d contemplated suicide numerous times only to back out at the last moment. It was only through sheer laziness and cowardice that I’d kept on living, a hunk of meat breathing oxygen and digesting food, a waste of space. I truly was the Ultimate Nobody. I hadn’t realized I was hyperventilating until I began coughing loudly. Feeling faint, I took a breather beside a frozen food cabinet. I wanted rest.

“Greyscale?” came a voice. I looked up. It was Dopple. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” I answered. “This is all a bit much.” I thought for a moment, not wanting to reveal what Monobunny had said to me. “Did you see all that stuff by the rear wall?”

Dopple nodded. “Yes. Knives, hammers and other weapons.” She sat next to me. I felt my heart leap for a moment as one of her wings brushed against me, then she sat upright and that was no more. She sighed deeply, looking to the floor. “We have to be cautious. By the way, can I ask you something?”

I nodded. “Sure.”

“When you went into the locker room on your side, was Monobunny with you?”

I thought back. “Yeah, he was there the whole time, I think. He was angry because Shetland wanted to remove all the locker doors. I remember it clearly.”

“That’s interesting,” Dopple replied, frowning. “He was with us as well.”

I turned to her in shock. “But that’s impossible! He was with us and…” Then it dawned on me.

“Right. There’s more than one.” Dopple checked around us to see if anyone else was eavesdropping. “There could be any number of them, as many as they need.”

I gulped. “They?”

“The ones in control. The ones watching us over the cameras. I don’t know what Monobunny is, maybe some kind of magical construct or a shapeshifter of some kind, but I don’t think he’s in charge. Or perhaps Monobunny is in charge, the real one, and his lackeys take care of things in here. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be a huge risk for him?”

It all made sense. The logic was sound. Monobunny, whatever he was, had help from another source. Not only that, but there were multiples of him. Was it two? Four? Twenty? A thousand? It would be impossible to know. Just then, a thought flashed across my mind, something beyond terrifying. I shook as I turned to Dopple. “Monobunny said something to me.”

“What was it?”

“He said something about…” I trailed off, not wanting to allude to his comments about suicide. “He said it wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last. I don’t think this is the first time this has happened.” Dopple’s face grew serious as I continued. “I think this whole scenario – this killing game – has happened before. And if he has his way, it’ll happen again.”