Trigger Happy Equines

“I AGREE WITH THAT!”

Crowbars <> needed it to hide some of the evidence

< Argument Break >

“Button’s right,” I said. “The killer needed the knife to get rid of evidence.”

“I knew it!” Button cheered, pumping his hoof. “I was right, wasn’t I? The killer wanted to hide the stuff in their mattress, but they freaked out ‘cause Yoko was still alive!”

“Preposterous!” Elsie cried. “How can you even pretend to know that!?”

“She’s right,” Maribelle said, frowning. “Even if that plan does make sense, we mustn’t assume it to be true if we don’t have more evidence.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” I continued. “We know that a knife was used because of the crowbars.”

“The crowbars?” Lancet said blankly. “But how?”

“Simple. If the crowbars were used along with the rope to make a grappling hook, then at some point after being used, they were separated. When we found the crowbars outside the hotel, each of them had one distinct feature – they all had traces of glue, and more importantly, rope fibers.”

“I see,” Lancet replied. “The killer used the knife to cut away the rope. If the grappling hook was found in its finished state, figuring out the murder would’ve been made significantly easier, and it would’ve been much more difficult to hide. By keeping the crowbars and rope separate, the killer probably wanted to keep us off the right track.”

“Wait a minute!” Elsie barked, her breathing becoming wavered. “Who says anyone needed a knife to do that!? Did we all forget how Shetland hid a razor blade in his pocket and used that to cut the cord on Pinkie’s keycard? Why would anyone use a knife instead!?”

“Easy,” I answered. “It wouldn’t have worked.”

“And how do you know that!?”

“I have Mesmer to thank for that one,” I said, looking over at the stoic unicorn stallion. “Before the trial started he was messing around with a coil of rope and a razor blade, trying desperately to cut through it without much luck. He told me he was wondering what kind of effect the blades would have on equine flesh.” I shrugged bashfully. “I suppose I should’ve realized you were lying. I bet you gave it some thought right after we found out about the rope in the fireplace.”

“Guilty as charged,” Mesmer replied. “Though I’ll admit I wasn’t sure how the murder took place at the time. I was just covering what I thought was a possibility.”

“I’m grateful,” I replied. “With the possibility of razor blades out of the picture, what else is there to consider? Shears might have made for a worthwhile cutting tool if we were only dealing with a simple cut on a straight piece of rope, but they would've been a poor implement to tackle the knotted up mess of a makeshift grappling hook, especially within such a short timeframe. And so, we can say with a good level of certainty that the serrated blade of a combat knife would’ve been the perfect tool to cut the crowbars free from their entanglement.”

“That’s all well and good,” Dish Panner said, “but have you considered that someone else may have also taken a knife?”

“Is that really a concern?” Sanscript said. “Every other piece of this case has come together to prove thus, and we no longer have good reason to consider a second perpetrator.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “We can say for a fact that the same knife was used in both cases.”

“How?” Reph asked. “S-some glue left on the knife?”

“Actually, I have Monobunny to thank for this one.”

“Uh-wah!? You do?”

“Yes. Does anyone remember what he said earlier in the trial?”

“As it happens, the MonoMonoMart does indeed stock eight of each type of knife!”

“The MonoMonoMart is the only place someone could acquire such weaponry.”

“Now, does anyone remember what the number of combat knives were on the stock take?”

“Seven,” Copper said, excitement growing in her voice. “There were seven, which means the knife the killer used had to have been the missing one that was taken after the first trial!”

“There you have it,” I said, suppressing a prideful smile. “This proves that not only was Yoko attacked twice by the same equine, but that the killer must have been a unicorn.”

“So why me!?” Elsie shrieked, tears streaming down her face. “You could’ve accused any one of us, so what makes you think I’m the killer!?”

“I think I…” Dish Panner trailed off, her eyes drifting to meet Elsie’s with newfound rage. “I get it now. Your room is at the complete opposite end of the corridor from the rec room. You must’ve heard Yoko thrashing about and knocking down Reph’s door, and all you had to do was look through your peephole and you would’ve seen him! That’s why you used the knife! That’s why Reph didn’t hear anyone else, because if you opened your door you would’ve had the perfect line of sight to shoot right for his jugular!” Dish Panner scrunched up her face, absolutely seething. “It really was you, wasn’t it!? How could you!? You selfish bitch! You really do think your life is more important than anyone else’s, don’t you!?”

“Dish Panner, please,” Elsie begged, sobbing into her hooves, her glasses falling from her muzzle and falling limply to the floor. She made no effort to pick them up. “I swear to you, I’m not like that!”

“She got desperate,” I said, parroting the same line Mesmer had used when we convicted Shetland. “She wanted her old life back. Right?”

Rather than answering in the affirmative, Mesmer shrunk back a little, avoiding my gaze for just a second. Then he nodded.

Another chill was sent down my spine. Just what is wrong this time? I solved it, didn’t I? Why are you acting so strangely, as if Elsie was somehow killing out of kindness? She did nothing of the sort!

“So that’s it, then?” Maribelle said weakly. “Elsie was the killer all along.” She sighed. “My dear, I’m not sure I can forgive your actions, but still, I shall pray for you. May your soul find peace.”

“We’re all voting for Elsie, right?” Inky asked. “I don’t even know what to think any more. I just want this to be over.”

“Yes,” Lancet said somberly. “To think I would live to see two of these wretched murder trials. I hope I don’t have to witness another. I don’t even have the strength to be angry at you, Elsie.”

“Just wait a second!” Elsie screamed, her face pained and jittery. She stomped angrily and gnashed her teeth. “You haven’t proven a damn thing!”

“Sure he has,” Button said. “We’ve got all the evidence piled up in front of us. You really trying to say someone else did it? Your room was the perfect place to see it happen!”

“But it would’ve been impossible!” Elsie cried. “Isn’t it strange how the rope almost completely burned up? How the hell could I have done that from the other side of the corridor! I wouldn’t even be able to see the fireplace from that angle, let alone carefully put a whole bunch of rope in there!”

“You could’ve gotten lucky,” Copper said. “Everything else points to you.”

“And I’m saying that’s bullshit!” Elsie hissed. “Levitating objects out of your field of vision is like fumbling around in the dark without any sense of touch to guide you!”

“That’s true,” Sanscript mused. “That explains why the crowbars were strewn about haphazardly – nobody could have placed them neatly and expertly from a poor vantage point.”

“Exactly! I would’ve needed to be much closer to pull off something like that! So how do you explain it!? Huh!?”

“That’s really your argument?” I said sarcastically. “You want me to deconstruct that one too?” There was nothing else for me to do. I had destroyed Elsie’s defense utterly, leaving it hanging by a thread. All that was left was to make the final cut. The rest of them disappeared around me, nothing but Elsie and I, facing off as the rest of the world ceased to exist. Fire pumped through my veins. My nerves danced. I was alive. I was alive! “The truth is, you were the only one among us who would’ve had a chance.”

“Lies! Nothing but lies!”

The end of the trial was within my grasp. I took a deep breath. “I’m not backing down until I prove my case without a shadow of a doubt. So please, Elsie, give me everything you’ve got.”

Final Panic vs Elsie De Pone

It would’ve been practically impossible to put the rope into the fireplace from the other end of the corridor!

We know I couldn’t have raced over for a better view because of Reph’s testimony!

Just because I could’ve seen Yoko from inside my room doesn’t make me the killer!

The rope could just as easily have been carried from the other corridor!

The rope could just as easily have been carried by another unicorn!

The rope couldn’t have been disposed of before the killer got back to their room!

Nobody could have moved the rope once the investigation had started without it being noticed!

No evidence was found directly linking me to the killing!

I couldn’t have run the other way around the floor or I would’ve bumped into someone!

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When could I have possibly had the chance to burn up the rope in the fireplace!?

One more question to answer. One more mystery to solve. I planted my hooves and held my head up high, ready to strike down my enemy with a single blow!

“THIS IS THE END!”