Trigger Happy Equines

“Ah! You decided to join us!” Reph exclaimed.

Copper sighed. “You insinuating we had something better to do? That’s straight outta one of creepy crawler’s fantasies if ever I heard.”

“I insinuate n-nothing!” Reph said bashfully. “B-but the more we have with us, the better.”

Maribelle was still a no-show. “Nice to see crazy bitch isn’t around,” Copper had said under her breath. As for the rest of us, we sat in anticipation as Mesmer and Sanscript pummeled at the wall, each wielding a sledgehammer. The spot where Monobunny had disappeared from sight was now in the process of demolishment. Chunks of mahogany were piled into the corner, their splinters and pieces deftly collected and placed by Lancet. It soon became clear why hooves had had no effect; the wooden slat was several inches thick and unnervingly resilient to punishment. Around fifteen minutes of repeated strikes had failed to break through to the other side.

To the surprise of many, Monobunny had still not appeared despite the blatant destruction of the hotel and potential reveal at an escape route, or at least, a secret area. Upon checking the hotel’s floorplan using the maps in the lobby, the spot where Monobunny had disappeared suddenly seemed all too obvious. Nestled in the corner between Inky and Dish Panner’s rooms was nothing but blank wall-space, with no room or compartment shown. This was much the same as other areas of the hotel on each floor, including a rather large stretch between the male and female changing rooms leading to the swimming pool. It was possible that a control center of sorts was within these walls, allowing us to open the exit and end the killing game for good.

“This isn’t working,” Mesmer muttered, picking up a kitchen knife and holding it perpendicular to the wall, then using some precise hammer strikes to embed the blade up to its handle. With that done, he switched the knife out for a crowbar and repeated the process, burying the tool deeper and deeper into the wood. Finally, once the crowbar was embedded as much as it could be, he removed it and peered through the hole, confirming that he had in fact broken through.

“Thank heavens,” Lancet said with a sigh of relief. “I thought for a moment there might be a metal barrier on the other side.”

“This is no time to celebrate,” Dish Panner said grimly. “You couldn’t even fit a hoof through that hole.”

“Well, I’m so incredibly sorry!” Sanscript said with annoyance. “You’re more than welcome to lend us a hoof, Miss Panner, while us unicorns toil away like slaves! Using magic for prolonged periods of time is exceptionally exhausting!”

“I’d help if I could,” Dish Panner retorted. “It’s not my fault I was born as an earth pony.”

“Less chit-chat, more escaping!” Inky chirped, casually munching on a bag of popcorn. “You’re doing great, Sanscript! Let that sweat drip! Bust that hole wide open! Plunge deep into its depths! And when we get out of here you can treat me to that thing I wanted.”

“This again?” Sanscript grumbled. “For the seventeenth time, Miss Slinger, I’ve no clue why you have this nonsensical idea that I might be adept at home-baking, much less bear the creation of this so-called ‘cream pie’ you are so hopelessly obsessed with. If it pains you so much, have Miss Panner do you the honors and leave me be!”

“Oh Sanscript,” Inky said, swooning. “Watching you work like this makes me feel all warm and jizzy inside...”

“The phrase is all warm and fuzzy!” Sanscript retorted. He thought for a moment, a puzzled expression on his face, then shook his head. “Whatever. Not another peep out of you!” He finished his statement with an almighty ‘thwack’ that broke away a large chunk from the wall.

From there, progress was more noticeable, as the hole was battered at and widened, exposing an inky blackness beyond. Having acquired a flashlight from the MonoMart, Lancet shone a beam inside as others jostled for a peek.

“Looks like a tunnel,” Lancet said, “but I can’t see anything of note. The walls just look grey and generic.”

“It has to lead s-somewhere,” Reph said with an air of desperation, his wings twitching nervously. “This is our only chance!”

As the work continued, my eyes and mind wandered. There was something altogether peculiar about this scenario. For what must have been the first time since our capture, it felt as if we were acting as one, no longer crushed under the threat of murder, trudging on towards a sparkling ray of hope. Amidst the light bickering I could finally view us all as a group, as a singular force, which made it hurt even more to think of those we had lost, those who never had the chance to live in this moment.

Damn it, Yoko, I thought to myself. There had been five ponies in our group delegated to meeting in the rec room that morning. By sheer chance, any of us could have died, but Yoko’s tendency to be the early bird, drilled into him by his lifelong training regimen, had been his downfall. Dopple, Sanscript, Mesmer and myself… It could’ve been any one of us. Murdered, not because of who we are, but simply dumb luck of the draw of whoever steps in the firing line. I wondered, momentarily, if I had been given the power of divine intervention, whether I’d have changed the result of that lottery. Would I have picked someone else to die in Yoko’s place? I wasn’t sure. Despite having died just this morning, his absence felt strangely natural. All signs of his being had been erased. The once ravaged rec room had been restored to its former glory. The once blood-soaked carpet was now all but pristine. Almost as if he had never been alive at all. But the shadow of that atrocity hung heavy in my heart.

I envisioned the last of us, the lucky few, out in a restaurant somewhere, having torn down the killing game and escaped from the dome, laughing and drinking, celebrating our triumph. No longer held down by terror, glasses chinking atop the tables, gorging on fine cuisine as per Dish Panner’s recommendation, and walking out into the crisp winter air, heading back to our lives. And then what? We’d remain friends? Why would they bother? I clenched my eyes shut and banished the thought at once.

“That’s as much as we can do,” Mesmer said, wiping the sweat from his brow. The hole was now a gaping maw riddled with brambles of splinters, as if a cannonball the width of a wagon wheel had been blasted through. “Now we just need a volunteer.”

Everyone’s eyes reached a predictable target. “What are you all looking at me for!?” Button wailed.

“You know why,” Mesmer replied. “We don’t know if the tunnel gets any narrower. To my mind, this probably leads to a series of air vents, especially after what we’ve learned about the so-called chimney. It makes sense to send in the smallest among us.”

Button peered into the darkness, his teeth chattering. “But what if there’s traps in there!? Like a laser grid that shoots forward and chops me up into little cubes!”

“Is that even likely?” Dish Panner asked. “If it leads into Monobunny’s secret chamber, why would it be rigged with traps?”

“Who knows!?” Button cried, throwing up his hooves. “Maybe that’s been his whole plan all along!”

“Someone needs to go inside,” Lancet said worriedly. “We’ve been given an opportunity, no, a miracle. We can’t let this escape us. Button, won’t you please reconsider?”

Button scrunched up his face, his cheeks glowing. “I don’t know. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“Button, listen,” Dish Panner said. “Ever since we got here, Monobunny has been very particular about which actions will result in punishment, and this wasn’t on the list. Besides, killing you with an unexpected trap goes against the spirit of the killing game. You’re just as much in danger out here as you are in there. Please, we need you to do this.”

“Yeah!” Inky chimed in with. “And won’t your girlfriend be super impressed once she hears about your act of bravery?”

“Don’t… talk about her, okay?” Button said sadly, his brow furrowed. “Just, not for now. I’m giving her some space.”

“Did something happen?” Copper asked. “I can’t say I’m all too happy with her right now, but it’s unusual to see you two apart.”

Button grimaced, scratching nervously at his hoof. “Yeah… I called her out on that and she got kinda upset. But she had no right to do that to you, and I got angry.” He shook his head. “Please, let’s not talk about it.”

“Wow,” Copper remarked. “I’m actually shocked. I wouldn’t have expected you to stand up to her, much less for me. I’m really grateful for that.”

“I-it was nothing,” Button replied, blushing.

“No, really,” Copper insisted. “It’s rare for someone to have that quality. We all know how much you like her, and yet you still had the guts to tell her that. That was very brave.” She briefly shot me a sly glance. “Most stallions just tell you what you want to hear instead of being honest. Kind of cowardly and creepy, really. Makes me wish I could’ve met someone like you when I was a school-filly.”

Button’s faced flushed even brighter. “Um, thanks, I guess.” He peered into the hole again. “Do I… Do I really have to go in there?”

“It could save us,” Copper said. “And it would be mighty brave of you, too.”

“Right.” Button took a deep breath, steeling himself. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice.” He grabbed the flashlight between his teeth and hopped inside, crawling through the space with slow, deliberate steps.

“Look at that,” Copper whispered in my ear. “I told him what he wanted to hear, said he was brave, and all of a sudden he wants to be the hero. Imagine what I could make a creepy crawler like you do. Crawl across broken glass just to please me? Oh, I wonder.”

A chill went down my spine. Copper sneered back, winking. I told myself she was just teasing me, trying to get a reaction, but I had to wonder if her suspicions of me were cast iron, and she was determined to catch me out. Or maybe she was testing to see if I would get back at her somehow, and wanted me to call her bluff. I had no idea. But as I stared back, Copper’s smile faded and she quickly turned away with what I could only figure was embarrassment. I mentally shrugged, giving up on trying to understand her.

“We should’ve tied Button to a rope,” Lancet said worriedly. “What if he gets stuck?”

“I’m okay!” Button called from inside. His hooves had, at first, pottered along against hard wood, but once out of sight we could soon hear the unmistakable sound of hoof against metal echoing down the tunnel, becoming fainter and fainter.

“Can you see anything!?” Reph called through.

“Not really!” Button shouted back. “It all looks the same! Just an empty tunnel!”

We all waited in anticipation as Button’s hoof-steps became fainter and fainter. We didn’t have to wait long, however. The tension was cut swiftly once Button emitted an ear-splitting, blood-curdling scream.

“Button!” Lancet cried. “What’s wrong!?”

Button’s terrible cries continued, accompanied by a metallic chorus as he thrashed about inside the tunnel.

“I knew it!” Lancet sobbed hysterically. “We should’ve tied a rope on to him! What were we even thinking by sending him in there!?”

“We had to do something!” Mesmer shot back. “I… We didn’t have a choice!”

“I’m going in,” Dopple said, leaping into the abyss. “Button! Tell us what’s going on!”

“Let me out, let me out, let me out!” came Button’s response. “Gah! Out of the way!”

Dopple and Button soon came tumbling out, Button catching himself on the exposed wood grain and peppering his flank with splinters. He yelped in pain, hyperventilating as he lay on the floor, clutching at his wound.

“Button!” Lancet cried. “What was it!? What did you see in there!?”

“It was horrible!” Button wailed, tears streaming down his face. “There was this big spider, all hairy and wriggly and evil! He was coming right for my eyes!” There was a momentary silence. “What!?”

“For heaven’s sake,” Dish Panner muttered, letting out an immense sigh of relief. “We all thought you were actually in danger.”

“I was in danger! That spider scared me half to death!”

“Wait a second,” Dopple said. “You’re sure you saw a spider?”

“Yes! How many times do I have to tell you!?”

“And you’re sure it was a living spider?” Dopple pressed.

“Do dead spiders scurry around like demons!?” Button spat. “Hurry and close over the hole before it crawls out!”

Dopple put a hoof to her lips, deep in thought. “Then perhaps we have some hope after all.”

“What are you talking about?” Dish Panner asked. “You think a spider will save us?”

Dopple shook her head. “That’s not it. Think about it for a moment. Have any of you seen a single insect, spider, or any other animal for that matter since we got here?” Everyone answered in the negative. “Just as I thought. You see, it’s actually incredibly difficult to find somewhere that has no animal presence whatsoever, even in hospitals, laboratories or underground facilities. It needs to be locked down tight, which is what we can assume about the dome. The temperature here is fairly moderate, so we can’t simply chalk it up to being an inhospitable environment. But if there is indeed a spider within that vent…”

“It must lead to the outside world?” Mesmer finished.

Dopple nodded. “I can’t say for certain, but that’s what I’m thinking. The problem is whether or not we can reach the other side. Button was barely able to fit, so that doesn’t leave anyone else with much of a chance.”

“I’m not going back in there!” Button yelled, recoiling as he brushed at his wood-studded flank.

“Would it even help if he did?” Dish Panner asked. “Even if he can reach the other end of the tunnel, and by some miracle find a way to open the exit, wouldn’t Monobunny just stop him?”

“We don’t know that,” Mesmer said, “and I am not giving up just because we might fail.”

Lancet took Button away in order to remove his splinters while the rest of us stood awkwardly in the hallway. We were still stuck at square one, and there was nothing I could do or say that would change anything. I’d been imbued with newfound power, yet I couldn’t change a thing. Unless...

“Well?” Sanscript said, standing up straight. “I, for one, agree with Mesmer. We should try the other areas of the hotel that appear suspicious, lest we miss our chance entirely.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Mesmer replied. “Reph? Get the broom from the utility room. You’re helping us.”

“Uh… yes! Of course!” Reph said giddily, trotting after the two stallions.

Your new lab rat, huh, Mesmer? I thought to myself. Why? I don’t know what you see in him.

“Back to doing nothing again,” Dish Panner said drolly. “Not that I was expecting a miracle.”

“Mmf?” Inky grunted, scarfing down the last of her popcorn. “We don’t have to do nothing. We could get wasted!”

Copper tutted. “Is that your answer to everything? Why don’t you go follow your boyfriend around instead of killing yourself one bottle at a time?”

Inky looked genuinely hurt for a moment before straightening herself up and smiling. “Firstly, the way things are going, I’m more likely to get killed by one of you bopping me on the head with a hammer than I am from downing too many shots. Secondly, why don’t you go follow your boyfriend around? Oh wait, you’ve been doing that already.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!? Greyscale isn’t my boyfriend!”

“Aha! You said it!” Inky cheered. “I didn’t mention a name! You admit it!”

“Don’t act smart. It was obvious what you were insinuating.”

“She’s right, though,” Dish Panner said, smirking. “We’ve all noticed it.”

“That’s right,” Dopple said matter-of-factly. “There’s no need to hide it.”

Copper’s face exploded in a flourish of crimson. “You’re all taking it the wrong way! I’m not into him!”

“Greyscale?” Dopple asked. “What do you think?”

I tapped a hoof against my chin pensively. How am I doing this? “Well, now that you mention it,” All I have to do is imagine it… “she has been kind of stalkerish towards me.” And it just happens before my eyes. “I think she might be obsessed.” Like I’m not even here.

“You deluded pig!” Copper blasted.

It keeps on going like magic, like magic. “I forgive you, though. I know you can’t help it.” I could never say that. How am I doing this? “But you must understand, my body is not an object.” I want to see what happens next. “I’m just…” And now…

Oh.

Inky erupted into laughter first, collapsing to the floor and clutching at her stomach. Dish Panner followed suit, snorting mirthfully and pounding at the floor. It was the first time I’d seen her laugh. Dopple chortled in near silence, eyeing me curiously. I started chuckling to myself, dipping my head down and covering my face. It was the only way I could hide the fact that I felt as if I’d been shot through the heart. I was shaking erratically. Laughter was my guise. I had, I now realized, taken a leap too far. Reality had snapped me back, and now I was reeling. But amongst the pain, there it was: the desire to push myself even further. I had just gotten started.

“You freaking legend!” Inky exclaimed, clasping a hoof on my shoulder. “I didn’t know you were such a comedian!”

“Yes,” Dish Panner said, chuckling. “I think I needed that.”

“It wasn’t funny!” Copper snapped, her face like beetroot.

“Oh, come on!” Inky exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “You were being bitchy and he got you back good and proper.”

“You all ganged up on me!”

Inky sighed melodramatically. “Don’t get your tail in a twist, missy. Besides, what do I care if you wanna hang out with Greyscale? The dude’s cool. He’s saved our flanks twice now, and he knows how to crack a joke. I’d understand if you’re into him.”

“I’m not! Stop saying that!”

Inky winked back and chuckled some more. I was still in a state of shock, taking deep breaths to ready myself, masking them under fake laughter.

“So,” Dopple began, “what should we do now? None of us are really equipped to help break down the walls.”

“Drink!” Inky cheered. “What do ya’ll say? Just us five? We can relax and share stories, learn a little bit more about each other? We haven’t done anything like that since the first night and I am just sick and tired of thinking about all the depressing shit that’s happened. I just want to…” Inky took a long, deep, deliberate breath. “Chill for a while now that we don’t have to worry about the killing game. Who’s in? Grey Skull?”

“Uh, sure,” I replied, feeling somewhat blessed to have been given an impromptu nickname. I could hardly refuse the offer.

“In that case,” Dish Panner said timidly, “I might join you. I’ve not been doing too well at all, and… maybe letting my hair down could do me some good.”

Dopple furrowed her brow. “Mesmer won’t be happy about it at all. He’ll chastise us for being too lazy and carefree.” She gave it a second’s thought. “In which case, I’ll gladly join you.”

“Nice! That’s what I like to hear.” Inky turned to Copper. “And what about you? I think you should come along. Otherwise, your boyfriend will be all by himself with three mares, getting tipsy and having a fun time…” She put on an overly dramatic voice and serious frown. “Anything could happen, and I mean anything!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll tag along,” Copper huffed. “Not because of what you’re saying, though. I just… don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Excellent!” Inky cheered. “In that case, you three mares mosey on down to the dining room while our stallion helps me with the heavy lifting.” She stepped to her door and unlocked it with her keycard.

“Let me guess,” Copper said drolly. “You don’t need to get anything from the MonoMart because you’ve got a stash of your own. I don’t know why we have to do this. Dopple I get, but I’m surprised at you, Dish Panner.”

“I… have my reasons,” Dish Panner replied as the three mares walked down the hallway and Inky ushered me into her room.

Sure enough, just as Copper had predicted, Inky’s wardrobe held an assortment of liquor bottles, mixers and cider, most of which were only partially full.

“Which of the two d’you like the most?” Inky asked.

“Huh? I don’t really mind, whichever you want.”

“I’m not talking about the drinks,” Inky said with a smirk. “Do you have a hard-on for wings or is that just a coincidence?”

I immediately grew bashful under Inky’s suggestive grin. “I… I don’t know.”

“Well you’d better make your mind up.” Inky grabbed two bottles and some disposable cups, holding them against her shoulder. “They both kinda like you, you know? At least, I think they do. I have a sense for that kind of stuff, so you’d better not waste your opportunity, ‘cause I seriously doubt they’d be up for a threesome.”

“I wouldn’t have expected them to,” I replied nervously.

“I mean it though. Why do you think I’m doing all this? Sanscript’s in a rough place right now – don’t think I have much chance with him the way things are.” She smiled somewhat sadly. “It’d be cool for some other couple to get together, just to make this place a bit cheerier. So you’d better make me proud! And don’t get too drunk or little Greyscale won’t forgive you.” She shoved a few bottles into my hooves and slammed the wardrobe shut. “You sure you don’t want to tell me which one you like best?”

I didn’t know how to respond. Or, more accurately, I didn’t know the answer. A future with either Dopple or Copper seemed beyond impossible, so much so I’d not even the vaguest hope for such things. “I don’t know what to say, but you’re really trying to help me, aren’t you?”

“Of course! I just told you!”

“Thanks.” I smiled gratefully. “I’m glad I can count on you as a friend.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me, Grey Squirrel. Now let’s get moving! Party time!”

What followed was like a dream. No, more than that, it was a dream from someone else’s life, a semblance of heavenly peace and joy, but still in the realms of reality. I was reminded of the first evening in the dome, all fifteen of us crowded around the dining room tables as we discussed our options, the deaths of Pinkie Pie, Shetland, Yoko and Elsie nothing but a remote possibility. I was there, but only in the physical sense. The others, they all had parts to play, had points to make, while I simply sat and ate my fill, almost invisible. I was merely an observer. Now, I was an integral part of the whole. It didn’t matter that I had little to say; for some reason, I just knew. I wasn’t being pitied anymore. I had become something new, something truly equine. The likes of Mesmer and Yoko had shown an interest in me, maybe even the connection of a friend, but this was different. For the first time ever, I truly felt like part of the family. Was it because I had showed my worth during the trials, I wondered? That had to be it. They… needed me. And maybe I needed them.

Maybe.

Through some devilish coercion passed off as innocent proceedings, Inky had managed to get me seated in between Dopple and Copper. By convincing Copper to show her a card trick on a different table, away from the bottles, and then fussing over Dish Panner’s black gown, (to which the earth-pony mare was predictably standoffish, though I somewhat suspected she had deciphered Inky’s game) She took the remaining seat on Dopple’s right side, leaving only one configuration for the five of us to take. I was genuinely impressed, and rather flattered that she would do such a thing for my sake, even if I had no idea what to do with such an opportunity.

As per usual, Inky was the one to start off each conversation, first asking Copper about her life as an illusionist. Copper was apprehensive at first, not wanting to speak, and seeming suspicious that she was simply being set up for another round of jibes, but was prodded into being more talkative.

“I don’t want your life story,” Inky said. “Just tell us some cool stuff, like, have you ever had any of your tricks go wrong. Come on, drink up and tell us!”

Copper talked about how frustrated she was with the number of times she’d been accused of her tricks having been helped by unicorns. “They assume because they can’t figure it out, it must have been impossible,” she pouted, sipping cautiously at the tangy cocktail Inky had provided each of us. “I keep telling them, no, I make a big point about it and show unicorns weren’t involved, so they say, ‘well how did you do it?’ What, am I supposed to give all of my secrets away?”

What started out as a somewhat forced, awkward encounter quickly flowed along naturally and effortlessly. Whether it was because of alcohol consumption, (which all except Inky and Dish Panner were initially hesitant at partaking in, but were quickly chastised in a joking manner and encouraged to consume) or simply because each of us were attuning to the moment, I’m not entirely sure. What mattered was that Inky’s idea was working, and we were finally interacting with each other in a normal manner. Despite the undercurrent of anxiety and tender hearts, there was an unmistakable atmosphere of solace and respite. I felt a bizarre nostalgia that I couldn’t hope to place, but it didn’t matter where the feeling had come from. It was there, and I was floating around in it, carried along by a palpable warmth. I wondered, briefly, if this was what normal beings felt. Was this what I had been missing out on all these years? Not that I’d had any hope of it, even with this realization. It was… nice. I could hardly say much more.

Dopple was somewhat talkative, more so at least than she normally was. She didn’t delve into the parts of her life she’d told me about previously – nothing of her father and her oppressive, lonely upbringing. She rattled off a few stories about her time as an impersonator, gigs on the comedy circuit and so forth. She had an especially potent way of dealing with hecklers, impersonating them to an uncanny degree and having their friends and family members rolling on the floor with laughter. As soon as this was brought up, naturally, she was asked for a demonstration.

“You’ll have to forgive me,” Dopple said. “If I come across like I’m mocking any of you, that isn’t my intention. I don’t hold anything against any of you here.”

“Blah-blah-blah,” Inky chattered, waving a hoof. “Don’t worry about that. Do me! Do me!”

“Alright,” Dopple said, taking a moment to focus. When she opened her eyes again, a sultry grin appeared on her face. Her brow grew looser and she cradled her drink nonchalantly, licking her lips in a flirtatious fashion. Her neck danced as she talked. In a matter of seconds, she was Inky, in the flesh. “Hey, you guys! D’you think Sanny is a giver, or a taker? A mover, or a shaker? I know, I’ll ask him myself! Hey, mister teacher!” Dopple fluttered her eyelashes seductively. My heart was about to reach hyperdrive.

And then she was stiff as a rod, her lips slightly pursed, an annoyed frown on her face. “What is it this time, Miss Slinger?” Easy as that, she was Sanscript, all of his minute mannerisms intact.

“Can you help me with my homework? It’s marine biology! Now let’s make like the octopussies! Two in the pink and one in the ink!”

“The plural of octopus is octopi, Miss Slinger, and I have no idea whatever you mean!”

“No way,” Dish Panner balked, utterly slack-jawed. We all were. Despite having seen Dopple’s tremendous skill before, it was still an unbelievable sight to behold.

“Monobunny wasn’t kidding,” Inky said blankly. “You really are the Ultimate Impersonator.”

“Thanks,” Dopple said, blushing. Back to being herself. “I’m sorry for doing that. I… won’t do it again.”

“No, you were amazing!” Inky replied jubilantly. “Really, that was hilarious! I’m just… kind of taken aback, is all. I didn’t think anyone could even do that! How have I never heard of you before?”

Despite being begged to do impressions of everyone in the dome, Dopple was extremely hesitant, quickly impersonating Mesmer for a quick laugh, (though Copper appeared mortified by Dopple’s skill, presumably afraid that Dopple might do an impression of her) before doing her best to brush the whole thing off as nothing.

Dish Panner was in higher spirits than normal. She’d mostly been dour and reserved, though I had to remember that she’d spent a fair deal of time with Elsie, and even Inky, as per the events of the morning – seems so long ago – so she obviously wasn’t a complete recluse. She spent a bit of time talking about various experiences at different restaurants, as well as her reputation as a spiteful ice queen and fair share of haters. This seemed like a touchy subject for her, but, inebriated as she was – or, more accurately, as we all were becoming – she was willing to share some of her toughest moments.

“I know what so many say,” she said with a doleful smirk, swirling her drink as if it were top-of-the-range champagne. “It’s easy being a critic. All we do is crush the hopes and dreams of others, always demanding more. It doesn’t matter how many glowing reviews you might give to the truly great or how much useful advice you give out, the chefs with delusions of grandeur who think adding the most obscure herbs and chili pods into their cooking oils makes them a transcendent genius, those are the fools who manage to rally the mobs and treat me and others like myself as pariahs. But I do what I do out of love.” She slammed down on the table. “Not out of hate. But try telling them that.”

“Sounds tough,” I said, managing to nudge myself in on the conversation. “What’s the worst thing anyone’s ever done?”

Dish Panner frowned, staring a hole into her drink. She shuffled in her seat. “I’d rather not talk about it here.”

As time went on, I began to feel more relaxed. I thought of what Inky told me, that this was all part of the plan for hooking me up with either Dopple or Copper.Not that there was any chance of that happening, of course. They were both attractive mares, each in their own way. Copper was more traditionally alluring, with her shimmering jade green mane that covered just the slightest portion of her eye, almost like a delicate shadow giving her a mysterious vibe. Her figure was decidedly lithe and streamlined, her wings long and beautiful with their grainy, copper shine. Her face was soft and rounded, with high-risen cheekbones and twitchy nose. Her ears bobbed and weaved whenever she got emotional, which was painfully adorable.

Dopple was more like an angel, less curvy and voluptuous, but with a more regal posture and slow, deliberate movements. She still retained a youthful, well-kept figure, but with a frilly, almost cloudlike mane that wisped and waved with each glance or nod of the head. She held a perpetual near-smile, her thin lips hovering steadily, unwaveringly, below her button nose. Her ears were stuck in place like statues, much like herself, never wavering for a moment.

I hadn’t realized until this point that I hadn’t really considered my feelings for either of them, if indeed that’s what this was. I’d never held a romantic interest in a mare before, regarding the popular, sought after mares as statuettes, something to find pleasing but altogether distant and ethereal. But here I was, sat between two mares who not only held my interest, but had shown interest in me, even if I had no proof it was anything other than platonic. Still, Inky had noticed these feelings in me, and had supposed that these feelings might be mutual. Whether that meant anything, I wasn’t sure.

I thought of Copper as a sorrowful, fragile soul who put up a diamond-hard exterior out of sheer necessity to survive. She was strong, perhaps a little dangerous, and was dragged down by incessant doubts. But I also felt a passion within her, a need to fight for what was right. I wondered if she would’ve been an altogether happier, more self-assured mare had I met her outside the dome. As she was, she was swamped by worry upon worry, desperate for a reprieve. She was emotional; she often lashed out, but I found that strangely reassuring. Then again, there was also the fact she was somewhat fearful of me. I felt a need to calm those suspicions.

Dopple was more stoic and confident, keeping her cool whilst the madness of the killing game kept on. She had exposed her painful past to me, and me alone. (At least, I assumed. Mesmer seemed to know more than he let on.) She was a revered queen, ostracized from the rest of the herd due to her overwhelming wisdom, but also seeking someone to relate to. I could sense an otherworldly power within her, one that she did her utmost to hide. I was in awe of her, standing in the presence of a being outside my understanding. She was incredibly gifted and wise beyond her years, and while that made her intellectually intimidating, she didn’t act with a sense of pride or elitism. Looking deep into her eyes, I saw someone struggling to piece themselves together, much like myself.

No matter how I sliced it, both mares offered up an enticing amount of intrigue. Given the choice, I couldn’t make the choice. I’d never thought of relationships before. How could I? I was just a nobody, drifting through a dull, grey life. I wouldn’t even know the first thing to do. What could I even offer these talented, good-natured mares? Nothing. Or, perhaps with a little introspection, (Just think of it and make it happen. Make it reality.) I could prove myself to them. But that was easier said than done. In the end, it was easier to just think of them as precious objects to be fawned over, always just out of reach. At least then I wouldn’t be buried by false hope that they could become something more.

“Oh, we’ll see how long that lasts, won’t we?”

The party went on. Nobody really pressed me to talk about my life. That was good, I supposed.

“I’ll be back in a m-minute,” I drunkenly slurred, sliding out from the table.

“I left my room open,” Inky said, saluting. “If any of you need to use the little foal’s room, go right ahead. Saves you having to go upstairs an’ stuff.”

I did as such, taking a look at myself in the mirror and feeling disgust and disappointment at my drooping features. Totally a win with the ladies. I relieved myself and went to leave before being stopped in my tracks. Dish Panner was standing in the doorway, a grave expression on her face.

“Um, hi?” I said dumbly.

“We need to talk,” she replied stoically.

“Oh.”

“I’d been waiting for a chance to speak with you alone,” Dish Panner continued, scratching nervously at her jet-black mane. “During the last trial, with Elsie.” She clenched her eyes shut. “You do realize that you’re the reason her plan failed?”

I wasn’t ready for that. “Well, I…”

“She sacrificed herself for what she believed in, sacrificed herself to save as many of us as she could. She gave up her only chance to see her children ever again just so she could trap the spy. I know she killed Yoko in the process, and that’s horrible, but she didn’t do it for her own benefit. She wanted to save us, a bunch of strangers who are down on their luck. And you’re the reason she died in vain. Do you accept that as true?”

I was shaking from head to tail. My muscles were clenched, expecting an angry hoof to strike at my eye at any moment. “Yeah. I accept it as true.”

Dish Panner watched me for a moment before sighing. “Good. Believe it or not, I don’t hate you for it. Elsie was a noble soul, but what you did was no less than that. You pushed yourself to save us, under all that pressure, and solved an impossible murder. You’ve done that twice now. It’s incredible, really. But by now you must realize that there’s bigger fish to fry than just solving murders.”

I thought for a moment. “The spy?”

She nodded. “Bingo. Given what I’ve seen, I don’t think for a second it could be you. And whatever happened with voices in your head scaring Monobunny, I don’t think that points to you either. I think someone’s messing with you because you solved those trials. I don’t know what their motive might be, but I can just feel that that’s the case.” She placed a hoof on my shoulder. “I’m relying on you to do what Elsie failed to do, alright? You’ve proven yourself to be a competent detective up to this point. I just hope you can do that little bit extra to save us all.”

“I’ll try,” I replied, not even sure what else I could possibly do.

Dish Panner leant in close and whispered in my ear. “Meet me at the swimming pool tomorrow morning at eight. Don’t tell a single soul. If, for whatever reason, the killing game is reinstated, hold off and we’ll figure something out. I know you wouldn’t want to meet with someone alone in that scenario. I just… want to show you something. I want to prove that you’ve earned my trust, and hopefully I can earn yours.” She pulled back, forcing a smile. “Eight o’ clock. Promise?”

My curiosity was piqued. I nodded.

“Alright,” Dish Panner said. “I’ll hold you to that. You’d better not let me down.”

“So,” Inky led on with once we were back in the dining room, stretching out her forelegs. “What’s the plan for you all if we get out of this dump?”

“Dine like royalty,” Dish Panner said wistfully. “In fact, I’ll take all of you along with me. The food that’s out there, you wouldn’t believe.”

“Rake in the money,” Copper said mirthfully. “I’m sure a certain zebra I know could whip up a story and get me interviews. Then I’d probably just sleep for the next few weeks.”

“I don’t really know what I’d want,” Dopple said sadly. “I guess I’d just want us to stay friends and hope for the best. Perhaps you could all come to one of my shows.”

“Come on, that’s a terrible answer!” Inky quipped. “Me? I want to find one of those underground magic salons where they cast all kinds of spells and do crazy shit! Just once before I die, I want to swap bodies with a stallion. Maybe I could convince Sanscript to come along and we could swap sides for the ultimate experience! What about you, Greybeard?”

“Me? I guess I’d just hang around with you guys. I’d want to see what you do.”

My statement drew a veritable silence across the table. I didn’t know what I’d said wrong. If anything, I’d said the same thing as Dopple. But in truth, I didn’t know what I’d want outside the dome. I couldn’t even fathom it. The dome was the dome, and escape was impossible. No, not even that, who we were, the lives we led, the things we felt, all that would dissipate the moment we left the dome. Did I want that? Was that my dream? I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything. Outside the dome was a region of blank expanse stretching to the horizon.

“Come on, Greywood,” Inky said with a chuckle. “Anything. Any crazy idea you might have!”

I didn’t have one. Every hope I had was tied to the dome. But I couldn’t be pitied. That was worse than death. I had to improvise. “I’d just go travelling then, I guess. Go see the world, stuff like that.”

It passed over. Time went on. It got late. We got drunk. I felt tired. I don’t remember. We split apart. Something else. I don’t remember. Then I went to bed. The joy of togetherness was slipping from my grasp. Yet at the same time, I was glad for it to go. At the same time, I was losing out on everything.

At the same time, I…

Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Always. Never. So long. Goodbye.

I had missed another chance to unlock my potential. I had drifted like a cloud in a light breeze. I had forgotten where I was, what I’d lived through. Once alone and falling restlessly to sleep, I wanted the comfort of another life. I longed for it. My lack of it dispirited me. With each ray of hope came a curtain of despair. That wouldn’t do. Not now. Not anymore.

It was time to play pretend. Just like the good old days.

“Ah, but this time it’s different. We’ll see what awaits us, won’t we, Greyscale?”

I smiled for the camera. What else was there to do?