I Am NOT Twilight Sparkle!

This morning was certainly a strange one for Zack, as she woke a few hours ago and found herself in the body of a small, and slightly plump and cartoonish, looking equine or pony unicorn with wings. And while the mare wasn’t fully able to remember on how, or even why she was a winged unicorn now, Zack hopped that the castle she finally found could lead to some answers. Luckily, the mare resembled a member of royalty, so Zack hoped that she’d be able to snoop around without raising to much suspicion from anyone. Touching down at the front gates of the castle the mare was surprised that there was only one guard at the gates, and despite the guard being a big bulky stallion wearing gold armor, the mare didn’t feel any sense of intimidation or anything like it from the stallion. As for the guard himself, he seemed surprised to see the mare in front of him, which he instantly went rigid as he stood to attention.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle!” the guard said in a shocked voice.

“I-I—I wasn’t expecting you here, today. I thought you’d be at the Crystal Empire with the other princesses, for the Crystaling.” Trying not to laugh at the guards stuttering the mare tried to keep a calm and collected, and thanks to the guard telling the mare some valuable intel of where the mare she’s supposedly looks like, along with the other princesses he mentioned, which could’ve been the mare she was impersonating’s sisters.

‘Time to put those high school acting classes to good use.’ The mare thought to herself before she started speaking, trying to act as regal as she could. Or at least she hoped.

“Do not worry guard, I will join with the others soon enough, but first I must visit the library.” the guard smiled at Zack’s words as he gives a short bow

“Ever the studious one as ever princess Twilight.” The guard said to the mare, who nearly lost her composure as she almost let out a snicker when she heard the princess’s name that she was posing as was called.

‘Really? That’s what the princess I’m posing as is named, wow! I wonder what her sisters, and parents are called’ the mare thought as she tried to keep a straight face as to not alert the guard.

“Thank you for the compliment guard. Would you care to escort me to the library, I think it will give you a change of scenery as you do so.”

“It would be my pleasure princess.” The guard gave another bow before ushering the mare to follow him.

Passing through the front gate and entering the castle, Zack then started to inspect her new surroundings and was finding the castle to have an almost Disney quality to it. Although, the very bright white coloring of the interior was almost, blinding, same could be said for a lot of this world. Everything was so techno-colored that it could pass for a cartoon. As the pair continue to trot through the castle, the mare noticed that a only a handful of guards were seen among the halls of the castle, as well as some ponies dressed up like maids and butlers, who all gave Zack courteous bows before going back to the duties. While they continued to trot through the castle, Zack really was giving the halls a critical examination, as the castles halls they passed through were all ludicrously wide and expansive. As if they were expecting giants to be roaming the halls. If this world has assassins or killers, they could easily anchor themselves up there and wait for an opportune moment to strike, especially in the dead of night. Thirty or so minutes of strolling through the halls of the castle, the guard eventually led the mare to the entrance of the library.

“Here we are princess, I hope you find what you need for the Crystaling.” The guard said as he gestured to the large double doors.

“Thank you guard, you may return to your former post.” Faring her a good day, the guard left the mare and trotted back to his position at the front gate. “I can’t believe how that guard was so, lenient. Guess I nailed this princess Twilight’s manners enough to fool him, and the other equines we passed by.” The mare silently said to herself before looking at the large double doors.

As she used her powers to open the door, by concentrating it into the form of a pair of glowing purple hands, the doors were push open to allow her access. Entering the library the mare was rather impressed of the size, and the columns of books that just littered the walls and shelves of the chamber. Making her way through the stacks of shelves in the library, the mare began scanning for anything that could relate to portals, or this world she found herself in just in case if she had to stay for long periods of time until she found a way to send her back home. Luckily for Zack all of the books covers, and titles were readable, but what was not lucky was that none of the books she’s been looking through had anything regarding cross-dimensional travel. Or anything of that nature, yet there were plenty of books about the world he was in.

According to the books that she read through concerning this new world, one of which she was currently holding in her magically created hands and reading through, the country she’s in is called Equestria, which got a good chuckle out of the mare. As she continues to read, the mare learns that this world sounds like a basic fantasy world, comprised of several intelligent animal races, aside from the main race that dominate most of Equestria which were called Ponies. And apparently there four types of ponies, there are unicorns, pegasi, and normal equines called earth ponies, not very creative or defining as the other two. Then at the top of pony hierarchy is the type the mare is, an alicorn, which seems to be a fusion of all three races combined into one.

“Alicorn huh. That’s a new one for me.” the mare said as she continued to read.

The book seems to suggest that aside from herself and this princess Twilight she was posing as, there have only been two other alicorns in recorded history…who are supposedly either immortal or have extremely high longevity. The other alicorns according to the book are princess Celestia, and her younger sister Luna. The mare questioned why isn’t the older alicorn deemed a queen, or a higher position in court affairs. But then again, this is a different world, so its social and political structure must have their own methods. As she kept reading the mare found something rather, interesting. Aside from just handling political affairs, maintaining order over the populace, the princesses apparently also move the moon…and the sun…around the world.

Already the mare finds this to be impossible, otherworldly fantasy logic be damned! Moving the moon maybe a possible thing…but the sun? the mare was having a hard time that the oldest princess, is capable of moving a star hundreds of times bigger than a planet, which has other planets the circle it, and move it like a toy. This seemed highly unlikely and impossible, unless she’s an absolute goddess, but more likely it’s something similar to a movie he’s seen called Mune: Guardian of the Moon, where the sun is the same size as the moon and there is only one planet in this whole other universe, and the two celestial bodies orbit around it.

“That is the only way I can actually believe, otherwise, why have a sister to move the moon when this mare is supposedly capable of moving an entire star system around the sun.” Zack muttered to herself as she continues to read through the book.

Sometime later after brushing up on the history of the world, and customs, and even finding a book about how the social structure of Equestria works, the mare left those books behind and went back into searching for any means or ways of traveling home. It took some time of maneuvering through the large, towering shelves, and the mare eventually found the main section where magic books were, where she hopes to find something useful.

~~~~~

“You got to be kidding me!” the mare shouted as she throws the last book she just read behind her, joining the hundreds of other books that just littered the ground.

“Fifty books on how to perform shield spells, twenty-nine books about fucking color theory, sixty-one books that just refer to obscure magical topics…and hundreds of hundreds of fucking pointless—ARGH!” the mare cried out as she just, flops onto the ground. Five hours, the mare has spent five hours reading through all of those books, and not a single table flipping one had anything useful! Well that’s ninety percent true.

The mare did learn a few things she can do with her magic, and after applying some of her own creative thinking, was able to come up with a few other tricks. But STILL, nothing about portals, dimensional thresholds, a fucking rift in space, or even as something as stupid as a goddamn wishing star. Peeling herself off the floor, which isn’t covered in books, the mare shambles her way back through the library, not bothering to even clean up the mess of books she just made. Upon exiting the room the mare looked out the window directly in front of her, and saw that it was late-afternoon, which caused her stomach to grumble as she remembers that she hasn’t finished her breakfast.

“Maybe I should find where the dining hall, or whatever the food area of this damn castle is called, so I can get something to eat, and lay low in one of the guest rooms.” The mare grumbled as she uses one of the new spells that she read. Her horn illuminated for a bit, before a thing dome pulsed out and phased out through the whole castle, where it came back to the mare a second later, and mapped out every nook and cranny of the castle into the mare’s mind.

“The magic of this world is useful, and really easy to do once you get the hang of it.” The mare said as she walks towards down the hall, following the new map of the castle that was just installed into her mind. “All I have to do is just think of the magic, figure out how to use the spell the best way, and once I figure it out like a math problem I just let the spell do all the work.”

“Probably the easiest magic system I’ve seen in any fantasy…maybe. OOF!”

The mare came in contact with something rather sturdy, and caused her to sputter backwards. Creating a magical hand to rub her muzzle, and when she looked to see what she ran into, her eyes scanned up and saw the very surprised faces of two large ponies, who just so happened to be the other alicorns. The larger one of the two must’ve been Celestia, and the depiction from the book matched her pretty well, although she seemed far more skinnier that in her depictions which seemed rather unhealthy. The other alicorn, Luna he remembered what the history book called her, looked just as lovely as Celestia, and in honesty the mare liked her more midnight color scheme than her sisters.

“Twilight? Why are you here, I thought you departed for Ponyville after the Crystaling.” The tall white alicorn said to Zack, which the mare nearly snorted at as she heard the word Ponyville.

‘Damn these horse puns, I don’t think I can handle all of them with a straight face.’

the mare mentally chortled as she did try and keep a straight face. Now, she was about to try and lie and make something up so that she wouldn’t be caught as a fake, but if these two are as powerful as she thinks they are, and if they determine her as a threat, then things would get messy. Plus, she’s not confident in even trying to fight in this new body of hers.

‘Well, here goes nothing.’

“Twilight?” Celestia asked again, but the mare let out a sigh, before creating another magical hand to brush back her mane.

“Alright look first of all, my name is not Twilight Sparkle. Seriously who names their kid, or foal that?” Zack said to the two other alicorns, which seemed to greatly confuse and shocked the both of them.

“Any way, my real name is Zackery Johnson, or Zack for short. And before you even ask, no I’m not a clone of this Twilight Sparkle girl, I’m a human that, SOMEHOW, got cosmically transformed into, this.” The mare said as she used the magic hand to gesture to all of herself. neither of the princesses said anything for a second, but after a while they seemed to snap out of it and now both were looking suspiciously at Zack.

“I’ve never heard the word, human, before.” Celestia said as stumbled a bit in trying to say the word human.

“Not surprisingly, my kind is not native to your world.” the mare said in a calm tone, but deep down she was REALLY hoping these two don’t attack her, or call for a platoon of guards to come and arrest her.

“What do you mean by that?” Luna questioned as her eyes seemed to be carefully scanning over Zack, which made the mare feel slightly unnerved.

“Just as it sounded, I’m not from this world.” the mare said which was about to be questioned by the two princesses, but the magical hand was held up to stop them.

“Look I’m willing to answer your questions, so long as you’re willing to answer mine. But first…” Zack’s stomach began to grumble, rather loudly.

“Can we get something to eat, I didn’t get a chance to have breakfast, or lunch.”

Both of the sisters gave each other a cautious glance, before looking back down at Zack and nodding their heads, and started to guide the mare the rest of the way to the dining hall. along the way both sisters still held suspicion, and uncertainty as they trotted alongside Zack, who for her part was feeling really nervous even though she was trying to keep up a strong front. Eventually the trio made it to their destination, and once they’ve all taken their seats both Celestia and Luna sitting across from Zack, three butlers came out of a side door each one holding a menu where it passed to each mare. Unsurprisingly Zack saw that the items on the menu was all either a salad, an assorted vegetable dish, a soup or stew of some kind, or even a protein supplement meal or even fish. Zack decided to go with a grilled salmon with a royal salad, and a side of herb butter toast. After placing her order, as well as the other two mare’s, the butlers took their menus and head off to the kitchen, leaving the three alicorns alone in the dining hall.

“So Zackery—” Celestia said, sounding out the former human’s name.

“You can just call me, Zack.” The mare interrupted.

“Zack then. Can you explain what you truly are then?” Celestia asked and sounding not as suspicious as she was a moment ago.

“I’m what’s called a human.” Zack repeated.

“But what is a human?” Luna questioned who still held scrutiny over Zack.

Instead of trying to explain what a human is, and not really in the mood to go into a real in-depth tutorial of what humans were like, Zack used her magic to create a hard-light construct of her old human form, but instead leaving it as a shining purple doll Zack actually used one of the color theory spells from one of the books, to actually give the construct colors that matched hers original form. When the construct was fully created, it greatly surprised the two other alicorns as they just looked at the human doll before them, which looked back at them and gave a small wave.

“This is what a human is.” The mare said as she gestured to the construct with a hoof. The two princess just stared at the construct, examining the tall and somewhat lanky form of the human’s former body.

“Interesting.” Celestia said as she got out of her seat, and made her way over to the construct and examined it closely. In terms of height, Zack saw that her construct was about the same height as Celestia, maybe a foot or so shorter though.

A moment later and the butlers returned to the dining hall, where upon Celestia returned to her seat and Zack dispelled her construct as the stallion placed the dishes before the three alicorns. During their lunch, the two princess continued to ask Zack various question, some standard, and some were just bizarre, but all in all the lunch was pretty pleasant. And the salmon was pretty good, it was nicely seasoned and cooked to perfection, even the salad and toast were great. Now while the princess asked their questions, Zack occasionally asked his own questions, mostly about the pony race and what the social structure is.

Apparently the ponies run with a matriarchy system, to an extent. Instead of just having these two princesses rule over everything, which they still do, they also let large cities and towns still be run by government officials like mayors, instead of having court officials or knight lords govern over them. Another thing that Zack learned that aside from the other princess that she is impersonating, there is also a fourth princess in another kingdom just a few hours train ride away. Zack was wondering how could this worlds government, or diarchy, function with four princess—who aren’t mostly related by blood ties—actually work and function without one or a handful of them screwing something up. or be constantly bickering with one another.

“Well this was all very enlightening princesses, but I do have one last question.” Zack said as the majority of tedious Q & A segment has gone by.

“What is this last question of yours?” Luna asked as she eats her piece of lemon curd cake, no longer suspicious of Zack.

“Are you two able to send me home? I’ve searched through the library for literally hours, and I couldn’t find anything to help me out.” Zack then gave the two a pleading look. “So can you two help me?” the two princesses looked at each other, seemingly having a silent conversation to themselves for a moment, before looking back at Zack.

“We could look through the old archives, which is where most of the more valuable pieces of literature are.” Celestia said with a small smile. “Don’t worry Zack, I’m sure we can help you find your way back home.” Zack gave a small nod with an actual genuine smile of gratitude. Zack then stretched out her body while giving a small yawn.

“Why don’t you get some rest Zack, with the events you’ve described to us, today must’ve been a rather stressful one.”

“You can say that again.” Zack said with a half-hearted laugh. Celestia then magicked a small bell in front of her, and rang it once. A moment later and a yellow unicorn wearing a maids cap, and a frilly shawl on her back, came into the room. ‘Instant help bell, nice.’

“Could you please take Zack to one of the guest rooms.” Celestia said to the maid, who looked at Zack with a befuddled and confused look.

“Um, don’t you mean princess Twilight you’re majesty?” the maid questioned, not exactly sure if she heard Celestia right. Zack sighed and stepped out of her chair and made her way to the main doors.

“I can tell this is going to get old, REAL fast.” Zack jargoned. “Come on miss frilly, show me to my big fat bed.” The maid looked back at Celestia who nodded her head, causing the mare to rush to Zack’s side, and lead her out of the dining room. Once the mare was out, Luna looked to Celestia with a curious glance.

“Sister, what do you think about this whole situation?” Celestia finished chewing on her slice of devil’s food cake before speaking.

“Well for one thing, she certainly wasn’t lying to us.” she said as her horn glowed with magic, before the room area around the chair Zack was sitting in, lost some of its golden hue. “Although, as she is from another world, I can’t really predict what she will do.”

“So what should we do?” Luna queried before taking another bite of her cake.

“Firstly I will send Twilight a message, I think she might be interested in making a new friend that happens to look like her, and learn about this human race.” Celestia said, already visualizing her student bouncing around in filly joy while the prospect of learning a new race and culture was in her grasp. “While Zack and Twilight become friends, we will do as we promised, we will search for a way to send Zack home.”

“If there is a way sister.” Luna said somewhat grimly.

“Yes…if.” Celestia echoed before taking another fork full of cake.

~~~~~

“This will be your room for the time being miss. Zack.” The maid said as she uses her pink magic to open the door, allowing Zack to enter the room.

“Thanks cutie, and just call me Zack kay.” The maid blushed at being called cutie, and bid Zack a goodnight before leaving, face still slightly pink.

As the door closed behind her, Zack scanned her guest room and found it to be very posh and luxurious. A big bed laid on the far end of the room, with a small fire place with a coffee table, a couch and two sitting cushions on the right side, flanked by two large book shelves. The left side of the room had a desk over by a big window, showing that it was just starting to turn into the late afternoon, with the sun making its descent.

After looking around the room for a bit the call of nature came a knocking, causing the mare to look for a rest room, which was behind a door on the left side of the bed. As Zack did her business in her private oval office, she was shocked to see a purple version of her old member slide out of a sheath, where she started to relieve herself.

“So I’m a hermaphrodite? That’s going to take some time getting used to.”

Once her business was over with Zack made her way over to the large bed, jumping onto it and feeling its soft mattress and blankets. Laying there on her back Zack just stared up at the ceiling, trying to fully comprehend everything that has happened, from early into the morning in the crater, to trying recall everything before that, and finally up to this exact moment. Even then she was still having a hard time fully accepting that this is indeed real. Though this was probably more out of instinct, rather than conscious thought, but as she spawned two magic hands and seeing them float about for a bit, and then rubbing the mare’s face Zack couldn’t help but grumbles to herself.

“This will undoubtedly be the single most strangest, bizarre, and unbelievable experience I will ever have in my whole life. Ever!” Zack proclaimed before using her magic hands to move the covers of the bed, and slipping under them before getting comfortable.

“I really hope those two princess can help me get home, cause I would very much like to live out my life as a human. Not as a pony.” Zack said before yawning and trying to go to sleep, ending the first day in this weird outlandish situation that he was part of.

~~Earth~~

It was around 1pm in the afternoon, and four friends were on their way to their friends house to hang out. Kyle, Jessica, Richard, and Amber were the four closest friends that Zack has had since their freshmen year of high school, in fact once the group had come together over shared classes with one another, it didn’t take them long to become close friends. And after a series of mis-adventures that only teenagers can get into, some of which were great while the other half wasn’t, the five of them became the best of friends. They were so close that they treated each other more like siblings.

“Man this is bullshit.” Kyle, the tallest of the four, standing 7’2 ft. grumbled as he trailed behind his friends. “Can’t believe my boss cut’s my hours, and gives it to that pot head James.”

“Look at it this way Kyle, if this guy’s screws up—which from what we’ve seen when we visit you at work—that’s going to give your boss a wakeup call.” Amber said, as she adjust the burgundy glasses she was wearing, as she looks over her shoulder.

“Doubt it.” Kyle groaned and retorted. “My boss is a fucking dumbass. Guy can’t even place in order forums by himself, he always needs me, or another person to check to see if he’s got everything right.”

“You know Kyle you could always come work at the market.” Richard, a dark tanned skin man just a foot shorter than Kyle, said as he takes a skittle and starts chewing on it. “Folks there are always looking for good help, plus, it pays a lot more than what you make now.”

“That sounds like a good idea!” the last member of the group, Jessica says excitedly. “Not only do you get better pay, but you get to be right in the middle of major foot traffic, and a nice change of scenery would undoubtedly help to improve the sour mood you’ve been in for the past few weeks.” Kyle drummed a finger against his chin as he thought.

“…know anybody looking for work?”

“I think one of the seafood or meat stalls is looking for workers. I also think this one gal, works at a gyro stall is looking for a helper.” Richard listed a few more places that might be hiring as the group rounded a street corner, reaching the intended destination…but when they reached it, they all stopped in their tracks.

The apartment building that the groups friend Zack lives in, was surrounded by police cars, and a few ambulances, and people standing outside, but they weren’t focused on any of that. The four friends were focused on the big hole in the side of the building…where Zack’s room was. The group rushed over to one of the police cars, were an officer was talking to the landlord of the building.

“Miss. Cassidy what happened here!” Amber asked as she and the others were stopped by the cop.

“I don’t know dear. It just happened so fast that, I just don’t know!” The older woman said in a clearly panicked voice.

“Where’s Zack!?” Richard asked the officer. “Is he in one of the—”

“No son, he isn’t.”

“WHAT!” all four of the friends said in unison. “That’s his room up there, how isn’t he—”

“We don’t know what happened son.” The officer said as he tried to calm down the group. “We searched the interior of the room, and the surrounding area, but there is no trace of Zack anywhere.”

The group of friends could only just stand there, watching as the police did their thing, and a news cast eventually show up and began interviewing people about what happened. After a few minutes of just standing around, the group decided to leave the scene as they couldn’t do anything, and decided to go and see Zack’s family, and inform them what’s going on.