Wait, Are They Dating?

by Leoshi

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 1844

Rarity...and Discord? It's more likely than you think. Right?

Rarity and Discord have been going out together an awful lot. They couldn't possibly be an item, could they? The way she looks at him, stays close to him, whispers in his ear...

And they rush behind closed doors quite often...

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Just an idea I got from the artwork and a wry comment I made in a discord group. Really, that's it. Enjoy.

Published 2020-07-18 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-18 00:30:01 UTC

No. No they are not.

With a blush that was barely hidden beneath a layer of makeup, Rarity stepped close and reared up. Discord moved to catch her as she fell into his arms. She pushed herself closer, feeling the fabric of his waistcoat against her cheek. "Divine..." she murmured.

Discord blushed as well, more prominently, and he looked around the dance floor. They had been drawing stares all night long, and while Discord was certainly accustomed to attention, this was new. He spotted Fluttershy and the rest of their friends, all herded together at their table, drinks and tiny cakes forgotten as they gaped. They had been doing that a lot lately.

A gentle nudge into his chest got him moving. He and Rarity shared a dance - an awkward, embarrassing dance - one that wasn't even in time with the music. She continued to nudge him at certain points, prompting him to step out a little further, bringing them both down low. His custom clothing, made especially for this night, slid along his body without any kinks or knots. Discord hadn't any idea where Rarity had collected this much silk, but he also was in no hurry to find out.

It was a nice waistcoat. Rarity had taken to the project like a mare possessed, preparing the supplies she would need long in advance of this night. Discord remembered the long nights he had spent in her boutiques, both in Canterlot and in Ponyville, as she measured and re-measured over and over again. It was almost like she was wanting there to be some error in her measurements, just so she could start over yet again.

He felt a tug at his hand. He had become distracted by the memory. Blinking away the sight of a massive ball of measuring tape - Seriously, who needs that much? Does she expect to find the dimensions of a palace? - he glanced down at her. She was frowning at a button she had sewn onto his garment. It was a frown he had seen many times before.

Uh oh.

Gently, he pulled one hand away and lifted a finger to make a point. "Uhh, listen Rarity, perhaps we can discuss thiiiii--"

Rarity's grip on him grew firm, and she began to pull him off the dance floor. She was nowhere near as gentle. As he was dragged along - another awkward sight, a dainty pony pulling a creature his size without regard to how often he was tripping - Discord tried to see her expression. The frown was still there, and the subtle blush was gone. A small but undeniable glint of determination shone in her eyes.

Their hooves hit the rest of the floor, then continued to move toward one of the doors lining the dance room. Rarity flung one open with her magic - a supply closet, bigger on the inside than the door would suggest, lined on all sides with folded tables, rolls of cloth, and boxes of disposable plates. Resting against the far end of the room was a chest, one Discord recognized.

"You brought more??" he asked.

Rarity closed the door behind them. Then she turned a smoldering look on him, the determination in her eyes burning brighter now. It wasn't attractive. It was far from attractive.

She cleared her throat. "Darling," she said in a tone that was wildly different from what he expected, "I felt a couple of flaws in that design during the dance."

Discord pulled his other hand away from her. "Oh, come on!" he said. "You were accepting praise from everypony when we got here! As far as they were concerned, you have woven this out of pure gold, and you know you were thinking the same thing."

She tittered, tilting her head slightly. A single hair fell out of place and across her eyes. It was then that Discord noticed that she hadn't blinked. "Oh-ho, nonsense. My golden fleece is still being shipped here."

"What?"

"Nevermind that, darling, never you mind!" She sparked her magic again, bringing the chest closer to them. She opened it with a thought.

The items inside the chest caught the light and positively glowed with brilliance. Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, had dared to stare directly at the sun for an entire day once. The experience frankly left him thirsty that day, but he remembered it fondly. But this? Even he had to turn his eyes from it. After a few moments, he heard the chest click shut, and he slowly turned back and opened his watering eyes.

Rarity stood there, unblinking, smiling, with a brand-new outfit floating in the air. A longer coat with twin tails, a cummerbund bedazzled with small gems, and a dress shirt that looked entirely too long to fit a body. Which, in reality, it was...except for his body.

Her head tilted again, and she smiled. Discord felt fear and shame run up his considerably long spine, and before long, she had unbuttoned his waistcoat.

It hadn't meant to be like this, Discord knew. He didn't even rightly remember how it began. Someone at some point had made a comment about what it must be like to design clothes for non-ponies, and the discussion had inevitably fallen on him. Rarity, at first, was put off by the idea, no doubt thinking of the sheer cost of materials she would need for something to fit his body. But over time...

She had started to ask for his thoughts. Then ask for his advice. Then ask for his help. And before long, Discord had become the living mannequin for a brand-new line of clothing. Shirts and coats, collars and sleeves, hats and ties and cuffs and slacks and suspenders for Celestia's sake - all new and exotic articles meant for no other creature but him. They were exemplary. They were unique.

They were, for lack of a better term, the love of Rarity's life.

Discord let himself go limp as she removed one outfit just to slide another over him. He always thought Rarity to be a bit of a prude, and who could blame him? Yet never, in all his considerable years, had he thought that she would become so enamored with clothing that she couldn't even sell.

"What do you even plan to do with these?" he asked as she fixed three bow-ties to his neck. "It's not like any other creature could wear them, and I'm not exactly the clothes-y type."

"Hm? Oh, yes, I have that covered," she said in a distracted tone. She was spending an awful long time adjusting those ties.

"Rarity?"

"Mmm, I have a buyer with some influence," she finally began, moving from the ties to his sleeves. "Someone with a taste for the eccentric. He's a bit bloated in the head, and believes that owning something unique makes him unique. Heh, like a stallion such as he could ever know the true joy that comes from making something unique. Anyway, he's contractually obligated to purchase one of everything based on you, including a full-size dressform once I grow the right tree for it."

Discord blinked. "You lost me."

Rarity paused, running the bottom of her hoof over the new coat. Taffeta, it seemed, and thicker than usual. "I convinced Prince Blueblood into spending his fortune on me. That's all."

"Oh." Then he paused too. "Wait, a full-size dressform?"

"Indeed! Just one to start, but later I'll have enough mannequins of you to fill out every pièce de résistance I could possibly imagine. And the Prince is under contract to buy one of each, regardless of function or form." She spared a moment to giggle, and Discord noticed with some relief that she was finally blinking again. "Twilight helped me with the legal terms. Seems he insulted her when she was a filly, and now she's getting back at him."

"Getting back at him through you."

"Yes!"

"And you are getting back at him through me."

"Yes!"

Discord glowered, then shook himself to settle into the new clothes. Odd as they were, they did feel good. He set the feeling aside. "You know, I can just will a mannequin of myself into existence at any time."

Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. "Yes, yes, but that wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be unique! And I've discovered just how complete I feel when I'm working on these new projects."

She paused once more, then stepped in close. With a tenderness that made Discord tense, she gently kissed the coat she had put on him. "Or maybe...after I complete them too..."

A moment passed. Discord ground his teeth. "Oh, by the forgotten gods, Rarity. Try to regain some of that composure you're always on about."

Rarity stepped back and grinned, genuinely happy. "Is it wrong to love one's own creation? And so unique, too... Perhaps I am the goddess of clothes!" She gasped then, another idea striking her. "Ooh! There's a tag-line for the collection!"

"Rarity, come back to Equestria. Your friends are worried," Discord said, folding his arms.

She giggled again, striking a pose. "Look upon me, ponies!" she said, he voice echoing in the closet space. "Your patron deity of pins and needles has been reincarnated into this perfect form! Bow before me, subjects, and pay tribute to my talent in the form of your finances!"

That's it, Discord thought. I'm done. This is too weird even for me.

He brought a hand up, and before Rarity could stop him, he snapped his fingers. Instantly he was teleported out of the closet and out of those clothes, reappearing a second later floating above the dance floor. The music stopped as everyone noticed his presence. He looked around the room, drawing stares again, until he saw the group he was searching for.

"You lot!" he shouted, pointing toward Fluttershy and the rest of their group. He swept his hand to the side until he pointed at the supply closet door. "Go get your friend a bucket of cold water to dunk her head in!"

His gaze caught sight of Spike, who stood with his ears against the same door, listening to the entire thing. Even from this distance, Discord could see the jealous flush on Spike's cheeks.

"And you!" Discord said, focusing on the poor little dragon. "Next time, it's your turn to pose for that dressmaker! I'm sure it will be all of her wildest fantasies come true!"

Finally, he turned toward the center stage, fixing his glare on the pony standing in front of it. He flew down, hands on his hips, lips curled into a growl. As he landed, the pony in question - Prince Blueblood himself - recoiled in fear. Or maybe it was a mix of fear and curious disgust. Honestly, Discord couldn't care less.

"And you..." he growled, pressing the tip of a finger against the Prince's nose.

Prince Blueblood crossed his eyes to stare at the finger. He gulped. "Y-yes?"

Discord pressed harder. "Get. A. Lawyer."

Author's Note

https://i.imgur.com/jzNprEM.png