Rogue Hunt: Gems and Beauties

The detective also needed ten rounds of ‘Shotgun Mouthwash’ after the adrenaline rush had faded and they went their separate ways.

Upon waking up the next day, the mare discovered she had half a dozen missed sing-stone calls from Jade. Glossing over them with blurry eyes, she surmised the dragon was simply wondering if she was safe.

“Bleurgh… how charming,” the mare mumbled before emitting a prolonged belch. “She can wait… frickin’ lizard.”

Scarlet waddled over to the bathroom and gave her snout and teeth a good scrub. After nearly falling asleep with her face under the tap (again), she shook herself awake. Munching on the uneaten remains of last night’s booze consumption aid, the mare poked through her investigation notes. Her whiteboard gained a few fresh sticky notes and an extra bit of string, denoting the leads that headed to the District of Beauties. Scarlet groaned, seeing the abundance of greasy fingerprints on the fresh stickers.

Ear twitching, she walked off. It sucked how her body just refused to let go of all that tension – she must have been more adrenaline than pony back there. Scarlet grumbled to herself, wondering how she could be so jumpy and bothered after something as simple as a life and death chase followed by drinking herself to sleep. The likes of her underwent these ordeals on a weekly basis.

“Aight… let’s see...“ Scarlet looked at her sing-stone setup. The text messages she’d already swept aside, but half a dozen calls… There was a chance it was something important. “Fine, gonna buy the bullet…”

The mare sucked on her greasy fingers as the sing-stone connected to Jade. It was fairly late in the morning, but nevertheless, her partner answered. Scarlet braced herself and got ready to exert her command to avoid being hounded to do this and that. Much to her surprise, that came to be completely unnecessary.

She hadn’t felt so fussed and worried over since moving off from home. It was pretty damn striking. Somebody clearly got the message – they were nothing without her skills and experience. Scarlet just listened to the dragoness ramble on about how awful she felt about yesterday and how she would ensure something like this never happened again, letting the serpent run herself ragged with apologies and impassioned care and attention. The detective didn’t know how it made her feel – all that tension and resolve just went completely unused.

Weirder yet, this was not a work call.

“…so, you see, now that I hopefully have made it quite clear that I’m never taking you into a veritable death-pit on a measly hunch-“

“Uh-huh.” Scarlet buried a yawn in her sleeve.

“-mmmhm, yes, I was thinking. Yesterday was a huge mess. As I told you, it’s up to me to make up for it. How about we… hang out together?” Jade offered.

“Hang out.”

“Well, you know… go somewhere nice, relax, de-stress. Goodness, I’ve got a lot of stress. You’re much more used to this than I am, please understand… I simply don’t come face to face with mortal danger all that often. I figured it would only be fair if I provided a nice, relaxing distraction for the two of us.”

“The two of us.”

“But of course. We’re partners. I know I messed up, but… pah! We’re girls, Scarlet, and I know neither of us gets enough girl time. In our line of work, you can end up being…” the dragon sighed. “…far from your best self.”

“Our line of-“ Scarlet groaned.

“Our tiring, punishing, mentally and physically threatening line of work, yes! Let’s just take a day off, it’ll be fun.”

“Jade, lady, you’re a shrink by day. Don’t be ridic-“ Scarlet stopped for a long, drawn out yawn. “Ehh… where was I?”

“Oh, you were forgetting that I deal with mentally unhinged socialites and sociopath tycoons for a living. Hee-hee-hee~” Jade chortled. “Ahem. So… What says we cast off our restraints and spend a day being… mmm… ourselves, doing girl stuff, relaxing our minds and bodies… It’s not like we’re on a schedule.”

“Hmmmmm.”

“I’ll foot the bill,” Jade added.

Scarlet clicked her tongue. She considered the last time she went to a bar that didn’t end in either a chase or a fight. Further, though she out- and inwardly scoffed at the idea of ‘girl time’, her gut wretched at the idea of passing up such an offer. A free day off with a partner who could hypothetically be worse?

She rubbed her numb, aching temples. Maybe left to her own devices, she’d have done fuck all today anyways?.. She did drink last night away and wake up with a hangover.

“Fuck it. I’m in. If I’m gonna spend a day relaxing after yesterday’s bullshit rodeo, I may as well pick you up on this offer,” the mare bit the bullet. “Just remember: I take the best ones whether you like it or not… you can keep whoever wants to do you, but I’m tough competition.”

There was silence, eventually perforated by a sharp, wheezing chuckle.

“…Scarlet! What… what are you even talking about?!”

“…girl… stuff?..” the mare scratched her head. “You know, going to bars, talking up them-“

“No! Goodness, no! No bars! No… whatever it is you were alluding to!” Jade sighed, holding back laughter. “Oh dearie me. Meet at the District Transit in an hour, I’ll take you somewhere a lot more pleasing and a lot less seedy. It’ll be far more relaxing than going to the bars.”

“But…”

“And relaxation is what we need right now, isn’t it?” Jade hummed. “Trust me. I am the expert on matters of the brain.”

“…fine. But only because it’s on you.” Scarlet crossed her arms, not that the dragon could see it. “And because I trust you won’t get us into another fuckin’ misadventure after you apologized for a half hour straight.”

“Talk to you later, my sterling, stingy partner. Bye-bye!”

“Eh.”

Scarlet plopped down on her couch and spent the better part of ten minutes just sitting there, staring at her clock and grumbling to herself about her looming 'appointment'. Countless times, she thought of and even rehearsed calling Jade again to cancel, or at least reschedule, but the sing-stone might as well have been across an ocean. Instead, she found herself digging through her wardrobe, then heading out the door. She arrived at the arranged spot with just a few minutes to spare.

Scarlet flexed her neck, eyeing the interior with a mix of reticence and curiosity. She covered her reticence with a passive whistle, hands tucked in the pockets of her pants. Already, she had to discard her trench coat in the wardrobe for admittance. Ordinarily she’d work to get in the way she wanted, but Scarlet kept it down on this particular day. It was their day off, and Jade knew her place by now.

And besides, she had to marvel they were here at all. You didn’t just get into the Pearl Lagoon, and certainly not on a weekend. This dragon did not hold back on her promise to foot that bill. This was no second-rate fancy club.

Well, actually, this wasn’t a club at all, and truth be told, Scarlet had no idea what its stated purpose even was. She’d been here once before, but it wasn’t exactly on legal grounds, and it didn’t exactly last long… A fact the mare elected not to disclose. Her detective work hadn’t led her to assume it was anything filthy or risky – there weren’t any horror stories going on about this place besides how hard it was to get in and how easy it was to get thrown out, which, in her eyes, was a mark of legitimacy in the District of Stars.

At least this place wasn’t as gaudy and unfriendly to Scarlet’s senses as that spot back in Gems. It helped they were on her home turf. It wasn’t that familial to her - only one third of it was covered in flashing, eye-popping lights and holo-commercials, a mark of status. Whoever ran this place could afford to do so on their own bits, and Jade was clearly able to communicate with them… The room and service she booked was not of the cheap ones. The Pearl Lagoon didn’t have ‘cheap’ rooms, and the ones they did have, they’d long passed.

“This is really gay,” Scarlet informed the serpent, pointing at the glass statues of naked mares, stallions and other creatures that lined the hallway leading to their chamber. “Look at all these… glowy bits. I’ve never been to a gayer place in my life.”

“…sigh.” Jade audibly scratched her face. “It’s called high art, you… goodness. Sometimes words fail me.”

“Yeah I’m gutter trash and I’m proud of it.” Scarlet shrugged. “But hey, you’re forgiven, you’re foreign. It’s cool. I wouldn’t rag on you, considering you got me into-“

The door to their room slid open on their approach and revealed two things. Things that she should’ve expected, in retrospect.

“-is this a fucking pool?..” the mare finished her sentence, her voice croaking.

“Darling. Starlite. Dearie. This place is called The Pearl Lagoon. And there are scenic waterfall murals at the entrance. The entire building is- you’re a-“ Jade sighed, approaching from behind and resting her hands on the mare’s shoulders. She pushed her into the room like an unruly filly. “You’re really not very tidy, by the way, so in your place, I’d say you’re rather fortunate.”

“I am NOT!” Scarlet protested.

“No. You are! Quit being silly now.” Jade gave her a pat on the shoulder and poked at the tip of the mare’s horn with her snout. The unicorn shuddered all over, stomping her hoof in frustration. “Let’s undress, pick out our swimsuits… it’ll be fun.”

“It’s not even- THERE’S NOT EVEN ANY SHUTTERS IN HERE?!” The mare shook her fist at the rather modestly sized locker antechamber. “How does that… uoff. It’s a private room, right?”

“Uh-huh.” The serpent went past her and got to work removing her fairly minimal garb. She wore a one-piece traditional dress of some kind, a pair of draco flats and a purse. Knowing now they were in a pool, that kind of made sense… “Don’t be shy now, detective. It’ll just be us.”

“Hrmf. Yeah, us and room service! I’m a lone wolf, Jade.” Scarlet unbuttoned her shirt. She picked a locker at random – they were each denoted by different jewels, and she was too flustered to bother remembering. “What next, is this a spa as well?”

“Well…”

“OH COME ON!”

“Let me finish!” Jade cut her interruption off. “It’s a yes and a no! Yes, this is a spa. I chose this place because you clearly need girl time, you maladjusted crime fighter! But no, no one else is coming. I made special arrangements to ensure you needn’t get into altercations with any more innocent serviceponies. This chamber will have everything we need, and at worst, I’ll venture outwards for a brief spell. Isn’t that neat?”

Scarlet merely listened and grumbled to herself, peeling off her clothes. A spa! Damn it. How many years had it been? How did she not see it coming? Girl time. Yeah, right. Man, so much for being on home turf. Now she was floundering…

Oh well. At least she could afford to. Jade wasn’t playing games – not after last time she wouldn’t be! She was just a foreign, high society bimbo with her own idea of engrossing past times. Could be worse. Maybe if she didn’t have to undress right next to the dragoness… But still, silver linings.

“What are you mumbling back there?” Jade inquired. She pulled at the mare’s bra strap, snapping it up against her back. Scarlet yelped from the jolt she got and wheeled around, giving the serpent a glare. “Don’t be nervous. It’s just a day at the pool. You sure do need one.”

“Hrmf.”

Jade clicked her tongue and walked off, her tail brushing up against the mare’s calves as she slipped past the mosaic laden door. Scarlet hugged her shoulders, now down to her underwear.

“You DO need one, you know that, right?” the dragoness called out from inside, her voice echoing off the distant, curved walls. “You are disturbingly close to accurate with your poignant self-deprecation, detective!”

“Wha?..”

“You WOULD pass for gutter trash, Starlite, darling, dearest! Ponies are meant to be known for their cleanliness, you messy thing. Ahem. Partner.” Scarlet didn’t reply, simply shaking her head, jaw ajar. She stumbled toward the door, shaking her fist in the direction of the dragon’s voice. “Now get in, the water’s fine. And they have our food right here as well!”

Inside, she could hardly see the towering serpent with all the steam.

“Hey listen lady, I’m not- What’s even- I’m… Easy for you to judge me, you probably live in the friggin’… sewer or something! Aquatic dragon. Blurgh!” Scarlet shook her head. Was she still hungover? Some vague, abstract feeling crept up her spine, a lightness setting in her head. Wasn’t this what it was like to be near a hot, aroma infused pool? She hadn’t had more than a tepidly warm, weak shower in years. “Also, where in Tartarus is here? I can’t see anything.”

“Says the pony who wears shades indoors for effect. Pweh-heh-heh. Oh, Scarlet, you’ve been needing a day at the spa for a lifetime.” Jade snickered. “Just get in and swim towards me.”

“Ha-ha.” Scarlet took a few steps on the wet, multicolored tiles, finding it hard to navigate among the steam, the dim lights, and the general lack of consistent coloration. She paused. “Wait, swim toward you? Are we-“

“Yes, Starlite, you messy pony, we’re sharing a bath together.” Jade sighed. “Girl time.”

“More like gay time…” Scarlet murmured in disbelief.

“I heard that. Pervert. You’re not a xenophiliac, are you now?”

“Oh go chew on your scaly tail, you rock-eating lizard! Gah!” The unicorn waved her hand in Jade’s general direction. She rolled her eyes, took a breath and took a ladder down into the water. “OW THAT’S HOT!!!”

“That,” Jade informed her from across the pond, “is room temperature. Oh we’ve got some work to do, partner. Work to do on you.”

“Yeah, right…” Scarlet muttered. “Urgh. Water is dumb.” She pushed herself forward, half of her body secreting sweat and itching, half of it going numb from heat. “Good luck changing my mind on that.”

“Hmm, hmmm. We’ll see.”

Scarlet fumbled around in the water, gritting her teeth at the disorienting heat and liquidity. Honestly, though, she felt okay giving it a shot. It was an all-new environment with its own rules and sensations. Usually it would put her on edge… but as Jade repeatedly insisted, they came here to relax. And for goodness’ sakes, this was water! Water was completely harmless, and truth be told, she had indeed been needing some water procedures. Jade was kinda right, but not for any outstanding reason. Why hide it – Scarlet was a fucking mess. As charmingly self-aware as she was, maybe she took herself a little too close to actual gutter trash.

“Not a swimmer, are we?” Jade quipped once Scarlet finally reached her. The dragon rested comfortably against the back end of the borderline endless pool. Her liquifaceous hair and modest horns were the main visual aid in finding her in the first place – her soft green coloration oddly blended right into the water, what with the tinted lighting at the imperceptible bottom.

“Oof.” Scarlet glared at the dragoness. “Yeah, friggin’ gloat. Oh quit looking at me like that. I get it, you’re good at swimming! Well, I got hooves!”

“Bwuh-huh-huh. Like you’d let me help?” Jade smirked. She spun her pendant around her finger idly, dreamily gazing at the odd patterns the water cast at the domed marble ceiling. “You’re such a stubborn mare, Scarlet. Could I expect you not to shout and call me mean things if I were to… take over, here in my element?”

“Hrmf.” The mare lowered her gaze. She took a breath and shook her head, getting her red streak out of her eyes.

Extraordinary circumstances permitting, Scarlet felt safe enough just being a lower class unicorn with a complicated relationship towards hygiene, while Jade was just an aquatic dragon with markedly more experience in… girl stuff. Really, what was wrong with that?

She shot the dragon a testing look. It wasn’t much, but it let her feel comparable now that she swam right next to her. Cut muscles and some demonstrable scarring may have been on her side, but Jade had more of a… presence, now that gaudy suits and frilly garb no longer obscured her. Dragons were imposing enough by default, and this emerald serpent bore the most of that. Her tight, dark swimsuit, complete with a bright, color agnostic jewel in the center of her chest, brought up lithe, powerful curves and more size in general than the mare had suspected.

She felt… matched, at the very least. It was impetus enough to maybe allow the dragoness an extra token of trust.

“I ain’t that predictable, come on. You must think I dunno how to act outside of my work! Well, I… don’t dunno!” Scarlet rolled her eyes. She thrust forward and carried herself over to Jade’s side. “This place is posh, sure, but at least it’s got… ehhh… stuff to it. You know what to do with all this. Arguing and playing alpha bitch all day is fun, but it ain’t the, uh… only idea of fun I have!”

“Ooo~” The dragoness giggled, swapping hands with her pendant. She gave a contented sigh. “I’m pleased to hear it, Starlite. I knew we were off to a good start today! Frankly, I was expecting to be stood up for a good hour. You know, for these made-up disciplinary purposes of yours.”

“Oh come on, I don’t-“

“Naaaw. You do. I’m a shrink, dearie. I just can’t help but notice certain behaviors. It’s why I’m happy to see you recognize today is indeed our day off. Goodness me, you’re actually cooperating!” Jade flashed a brief smile, her enchanted eyes never blinking. Scarlet felt a need to stifle a yawn that wasn’t there. The hot water was taking some getting used to. “I know you won’t believe me, but it’s important that you pay heed to my words… now and again.”

“Tchah. It IS our day off. I’m taking a break off the hard boiled detective shtick-” Scarlet explained, reaching for the food tray placed behind Jade’s resting spot. The tray’s thermal preservation barrier disallowed telekinesis, so she tried to reach through the railing. With a wide, toothy smile, the serpent used her significantly longer limb to easily pass the mare an entire gourd. Scarlet averted her eyes, shrugged and accepted it. “-and you’re taking a rest from being a shrink. How ‘bout that?”

“Oh yes, it’s… murderous, really. I’ve horror stories that I’d rather not divulge. The Rogues’ Gallery makes a lot of sense once you witness the opportunity for depravity the City allows one with talent and resources,” Jade commented while Scarlet munched on grapes. “But enough of that. You’re right. You’re just a pony with intense hygiene problems, and I’m just an aquatic dragon with considerable experience in all manners of services provided by the Pearl Lagoon.”

“Ehhh, shomeshingh lighe zhat,” the unicorn muttered, chewing through an entire branch of grapes. She performed a mighty gulp before summarizing on her own. “Like, yeah, I know this place is a big deal! It’d be friggin’ dumb not squeezing it for all its worth! And on my own, I’d just… splash around for a few hours and eat, uh… mostly grapes, apparently.”

“Seeeeee? We DO have work to do on you! You are…” Jade shook her head, wincing at the sound of numerous grape seeds being crushed in Scarlet’s mouth. She twirled the pendant around her fingers, deftly passing it from digit to digit. Scarlet’s messy eating probably annoyed her, the mare figured. “…going to match your inner goodness by when I’m done.”

“Don’t bet on it, Jade. Didcha know I forgot to put toothpaste on my brush when I was washing up this morning? Yeeeah.” Scarlet laughed. She paused, distracted by the miniature light show caused by the pendant. It inadvertently cast off a series of flickers that danced around the mosaic tiles and marbles, likely to none of the dragon’s own awareness. “I’mma be nice and… not divulge no more of that sort of info.”

Sure, they had a Rogue to catch, but just for once in her life, the mare decided to halt obsessing over her latest case and spending every waking, sober moment theorizing the next steps of her investigation.

Not only could she afford a day off in the material sense, Jade owed her recompense and she KNEW it: this was that.

“So what do we even… do, besides swim around?” the mare asked.

“I was waiting for you to ask,” Jade stated, looking Scarlet straight in the eyes. The mare felt a smooth, tight presence around her calves. Looking down, she saw the dragoness’ tail wrapped around her hooves. “There is mmmuch to do. Let’s get you pretty… er.”

“Hey- bwah!” The unicorn yelped, being dragged through the pool by the dragoness’ tail.

“You said you’d like help! Swimming lessons are a far lower priority to your personal hygiene, Starlite, sweetie!” Jade informed her, her body snaking through the water at remarkable velocity.

“I’M NOT- blurgh!”

Well, she did ask for it. And in frankness, being dragged around by the serpent’s tail was probably the more fun part of the experience. Scarlet never conceived of so many lotions, oils and shampoos. As Jade would repeatedly remark, Scarlet may have been a good detective, but she was a remarkably cruddy unicorn mare.

She also never conceived of just how obvious her messy lifestyle apparently was. Maybe touting it for conversational points wasn’t so smart if there was so much to soap off and rinse out.

Jade, serpentine though she was, decisively warranted the title Scarlet typically used to talk down to her: of the many things she was on and off duty, lady was definitely one of them. The dragoness knew the role and purpose of every last flask, tincture and solution populating the lockers. The mare found herself twisting and bending to allow Jade better reach, occasionally having to justify the dreadful state of her coat. Maybe she would’ve shown more spine… but why look a gift pamper in the mouth? When was the last time she bothered to scrub her back in the shower, two years ago, perhaps three? This once-haughty dragon was now giving her a thorough rub n' scrub, lathering her up with all sorts of VIP-level beautification substances and scratching a grand multitude of itches Scarlet was never aware she even had.

Scarlet never knew how badly she had been mistreating her body. Now that she’d gotten adjusted to the allegedly mild temperature, the slightest touch from Jade rendered her increasingly more aware of her nervous system. The unicorn was glad they were stuck in water, because she was pretty sure she’d begun to drool while Jade rubbed shampoo into her mane. There was something carnally relaxing about having a pair of smooth, strong hands squeezing your muscles and leaving behind a fizzy, bubbling trail, pleasant synthetic scents filling your nostrils, your hooves wading idly through water, nothing solid to keep your body from drifting – nothing but somebody who actually knew what they were doing for goodness’ sakes! Scarlet spent every waking hour in a tense arms race with a world full of assholes, dipshits, of laughing, joking numbnuts. Just once, it was nice to take a break…

“Hnnngh. Phhhfff-“ Scarlet bit her lip as Jade trailed her index claw down the middle of her back. Somehow, it’d located some ephemeral itch, one the mare blissfully never detected until now that it was being eradicated. “Y-you’re pret-pretty f-fucking good.”

“Oh, thank yooou~” Jade giggled, trailing off into a deep, exhausted sigh. “Thank you for reminding me to wash out your potty mouth next. I knew I was missing a spot.”

“Nnngh.” Scarlet rolled her eyes. She thrust her back towards the dragon, urging her to continue. “I’m complimenting you, c’mon now. You could... oof… pamper for a living if the whole brain treatment thing falls through.”

“Brain treatment. Pssshhhh… Starlite, dearie, that’s a very pedestrian way of looking at it.” The dragoness clicked her tongue and withdrew her hands from the mare. Scarlet groaned. “There isn’t necessarily a clear line where one ends and the other begins, you see.”

“Guhhh, you know what I mean. I don’t praise nobody easy.” She puffed her cheeks. “Look, that spot back there, it itches like, bad… so, uhm… mind dropping what you were-“

“Ah, so it does itch. I knew it. That is the messy pony spot, you messy, messy thing. This particular teensy spot in the middle of your back…” The dragoness patted the mare’s shoulders. “The equine body develops an itching response there if you don’t scrub your back regularly enough.”

“Gosh, I get it! I don’t shower enough! I’m friggin’ fixing that right now, okay?” She bucked her hooves in frustration. “What’re you even doing back there?”

“Mmm. Nothing. Just waiting for your reaction, hee-hoo~”

Scarlet spat out a couple perturbed expletives as the dragoness’ tail once again coiled around her hooves. This time it was a lot more forceful, and it was pulling down. She was about to shout in concern as her chest began to submerge. Her concern was short-lived, immediately replaced by another source of stimulation. Jade’s hand clasped around her horn, squeezing it tight. Scarlet utterly failed to contain a high-pitched, reverberating whine, one that shortly transformed into a deep, confused moan. The serpent wasn’t just groping her in jest – with purchase gained on the unicorn’s scabby, unpolished horn, she pulled hard.

The mare’s back produced a disgracefully loud series of crackles and pops. Her horn and her hooves stretched powerfully in opposite directions, she was stretched straight, string-like. Her back muscles locked somewhere in the grey area between tension and relaxation, her fists raised up in the air, Scarlet bit down her on her lip to avoid making whatever noises were threatening to erupt from her mouth. Jade clicked her tongue, giving her hardy, protruding back muscles a series of pokes with her sharp claw.

“Ay-yay-yaaay. Look at all that tension,” Jade said with a great degree of concern. “I assumed it was bad, but… ohhh nooo... Such poorly maintained muscle, it hurts to see. And it doubtlessly hurts to live like this!” Before Scarlet could muster another reply, she was stretched even tighter. Her eyes rolled hard. She must’ve become a few inches taller by now. “How can you have so little respect for all the hard work it took to get all this delightful, delicious muscle? Have you stretched once of late? Are you aware exercise exists outside bench presses, weights and treadmills? It doesn’t look like you did, Scarlet…”

“HNNNGH!!!” the mare replied through gritted teeth, her hands flailing in the air – not a measure of resistance anymore, at this rate she was offloading the pressure put upon her nervous system.

That too came to an end. Jade rubbed her knuckle against an awfully specific spot right underneath her shoulder line, which caused the unicorn’s arms to snap straight down. The sparse moment was enough for the dragoness’ fast hand to grab both of Scarlet’s. Jade wasn’t exactly small for an aquatic dragon, and the mare’s wrists fit easily in her left hand. Her precise, decisive motions didn’t just disarm Scarlet; her hands weren’t simply locked down, they were forcibly joined into the stretching. With what seemed like very little effort, Jade had Scarlet utterly motionless, stretched completely straight, her arms mere degrees of pressure away from causing her a great deal of pain. Yet there was none – instead, they’d gone completely numb, sounding off their own series of pressurized pops and crackles, generating rows of sharp, needling tingles that proceeded to dance through the mare’s entire body.

And throughout that entire exchange, the freshly discovered itch went absolutely nowhere, which appeared to bother Scarlet more than the fact she was as helpless as an earth pony in the underbelly of Clouds.

“Your daily existence must be agony. Your body is the epitome of accidental masterwork…” The dragoness pulled a little harder at her horn, shifting her hand. The pony moaned – it turned out Jade still carried her pendant, and with this grip adjustment, it bonked her clean on her snout. The teal jewel now sat directly on top of her nose, and she was stretched too tight to even shake it off. “Oh Starlite, you put yourself through such unnecessary torment with your… quirks of personality.”

“HKKKK.” Scarlet could hear her teeth grind. “F-fffug-ging… s-ssstop thattt…”

“Oh what? This shouldn’t hurt,” Jade shot back.”

“Mmmmy n-nnnaame… i-isn’t S-sss-ssstarlite… f-fix your p-pronun- KOFF!” Scarlet began to drool again. “Pron-nunciatio-ho-hooon…”

Jade let out a hearty cackle. It evolved into a more subdued chuckle, which chortled over into a peal of deep, rumbling giggles. Jets of the dragoness’ hot breath brushed against the mare’s back, sending a spiderweb of jolts through the mare’s newly sensitized nervous system.

“Hwuh-hwuh-hwuh, oh, dearie, you don’t get to criticize me. I try to work on my accent, you know. Detection of flaws, and their subsequent erasure, is my… specialty.” Jade noted slyly, having expressed enough of her amusement. Scarlet groaned, attempting to twist her head – a subtle alarm bell hammered somewhere in the depths of her subconscious, displeased with some of the numerous unusual things currently ongoing. “I suppose you could say I too am a… detective, in my own right. It’s only fair I put a bit of extra, ahhh, professional effort into our get-together, what with my dire missteps of late. Hmmm?”

“Y-yyyughhh! Th-that’s cool, but- uoofff!” The mare gasped as the dragoness found a way to straighten her out an extra few degrees. It was by either remarkable expertise or pure miracle that she wasn’t in pain. Disoriented and numb though she was, Scarlet doubted it was the latter… And she didn’t get to doubt for long, as her mind swung to a completely different issue. The dragon’s breath caressed her back, and damn it, that brought back the itch. Did she just forget it was there? Well, it was back now. “J-jussst… f-friggin’… scratch th-that itch! C-call me whatchu w-want, you f-ffforeign f-fffuck, just… j-jwuh-huh-huh…”

“Hoooo… It really IS bad, isn’t it, Starlite?” Jade applied a measly little pull to Scarlet’s arms. Immediately, the mare could feel stinging discomfort pulse through her body, causing an aggravated guffaw to grind through her tensely gritted teeth. The dragon allowed herself another chuckle. “You allow yourself to be such a horrible mess. I have an eye for… troubled individuals. They remind me of… gemstones. It’s why I call you Starlite… Mmmhmhm, yes, I do it on purpose. I bet you feel silly now.”

“Wh-what’s it with… hnnn… d-dragons and… hkkk! g-gemstones?..” Scarlet quipped back in an attempt at defiance. All of her attention went right back to that spot, prying and weeping for attention. She tried to pry her snout open for another demand, but the serpent had her locked too tight.

“We eat them! They are quite tasty~” Jade ran her tongue up the mare’s neck. Every single nerve in her back came alive. For a scant moment, that stupid itch was everywhere – for another, it was gone, and then, it was back, as annoying as ever. This would’ve been a lot more exciting if she could just give in. An odd thing to consider, and she didn’t dwell on it. The rush of blood in her ears almost obfuscated the dragoness’ hearty laugh. Some fucking joker this dragon was… “Ahhh, but I won’t eat you. You’re a very… stocky, muscly type. You can look very pretty with the right mold and environ.”

“Q-quit ripping me in h-half then! I g-get it, y-you’re a dragon! Use your –ffuckin… claws to… Hkkk… ooof-“ Scarlet wheezed sharply, her body going from energized to completely numb with just an extra tug. Her jaw hung low. Tiny needles paraded through her entire body, flaring awareness in very specific spots. Great, now that itch traveled. She went cross-eyed for a short moment, staring at the reflection of her red eyes in the glistening teal pendant sat tight on the tip of her snout. “HnnnNNN~”

“Yesss, that was a tight one, wasn’t it? Gosh.” Jade whistled, the soft flow of wind tickling the mare’s ears. “I haven’t had to practice my skills on such a tough cookie before. I’m glad you liiike it…”

“Hrmf…”

Jade tested and prodded her nervous system with remarkable ease, chiefly by squeezing at the mare’s horn and adjusting the tail grip on her legs. Scarlet’s tongue nearly hung out as one by one, each body part of hers came into sharp attention, tensing, relaxing, hurting and receding at the dragoness’ whim. Never, not once before, was the unicorn made to be so aware of her body. Her mind struggled to process whether it felt good or bad. Her keep detective instincts tried to catch onto details – Jade’s creepy licking (which totally went past interpersonal boundaries), her insistence on using a dumb permutation of her name (that was just stupid), and some odd internal alarm ringing going off at her beautification shtick…

But fuck that, really. She still hadn’t scratched that itch. Maybe she wasn’t such a professional after all.

“Oh my, you flatter me, you stingy sssleuth,” the dragoness remarked. “I’m getting some very… promising reactions. You’re not made of steel after all… Don’t worry. It’s actually quite charming.”

“Fkkkk… jzzhhhshhh!!!” Scarlet fumed through tightly grit teeth. “Gimme a sc-scraaatch!”

“You’re getting close… How much longer can you last, sweetie?” Jade let out a laugh, twisting the mare’s limbs and polishing her horn. “You know, this could be happening a lot more often. You’re a rich mare now… quite unfitting to be so filthy now. Inside and out. It’s why I brought you here.”

“GAAAH I DON’T CARE FUCKING SCRAAAHAHAAATCH MEEEE!!!”

“Hmf. No! My, ahm… exotic pampering technique does not include scratches…” Jade snidely informed her. “I’m a very polite dragon. I don’t use my draconic assets for no good reason.”

Scarlet didn’t even get to complain, a groan reverberating out her throat as she was forcefully moved. Or rather, it was them both. Jade used her legs to propel them through the pool, effortlessly swimming around with the pony in tow, completely throwing any sense of orientation. The tight-strung mare spun and danced around in the warm water, leaving behind a trail of waves, her own tail spreading in the pool, letting go of clumps that’d been there for months. Her vestibular apparatus went haywire, rendering her numb both in mind and in body. The dragon’s smooth olive green scales were her only respite from whatever the hell it was her brain had been exposed to.

“Yooou liiike that... let go of all that tension. I can still feel it in your spine. Your strong, staunch spine…” Jade mused. “It’s good for your health… but you take it so far. This… conservative lifestyle of yours. Isn’t it fun, swimming around like this?”

“Scratch the iiiiitch!” Scarlet growled.

“It’s not so bad, you big baby.” Scarlet hacked at the sound of those words. “You’re close. It’s not so complicated. For such a tough cookie, it’s really rather straightforward, relieving your pressure… If you cooperate. Will you fight so hard when you’re the one paying for these treatments, hmmm, Starlite? I didn’t think so…”

Right now Scarlet frankly couldn’t be fucked to overanalyze everything going on with her.

“Fuckin’ PLEASE scratch my baa-haa-haaaack! The… the spot! The messy spot!” She twisted her head violently in Jade’s grip, her horn rubbing up intensely against the dragon’s palm. “QUIT DA-HA-HAAANCIIING! GAAAAH!”

“Haaaah! You did it! You did it, you said the magic word! Wonderful~” Jade let out a delighted sigh. She gave the tautened mare one last heavy stretch, and suddenly, she let go. “Good, Starlite, good. See? You don’t need to brute force your way into niceties. You really don’t.”

“Brlbrlbrlbrl!” the mare replied from underneath a thick cover of water, as she was currently sinking to the bottom, left completely numb and motionless and itching all over.

“Oh, let’s go and sort your messy troubles out now.” Jade scooped the mare back up with her tail and got her to the surface. She slapped her aplenty as the detective cleared her throat. Delivering a series of smacks to her back, the dragoness didn’t hear a word of complaining and took the mare in her arms.

Scarlet was too disoriented to even think of fighting back, and before too long, she’d been carried off to a solid, soft bed. Placed face down on a towel, she retained her jellylike feeling. That was a teensy bit disconcerting – even with her mind having been turned to soup, she was not prepared for this quantity, nor length, of relaxation. It was almost as if something prevented her body from achieving tension, as opposed to it having been organically eroded. But that didn’t last long.

Rather shortly, Jade’s hands touched down on her back and began to knead downwards, reawakening the mare’s nervous system with each sensitive stroke. At long fucking last, that spot was being scratched – and then some. About time. Her base, primal mind seemed quite displeased with pernicious draconic nails scraping along her unprotected coat and muscle, causing a slight ruckus in her subconscious, but the mare was good at blocking out unneeded interruption. This was working out as it should have, right? That’s massage, and a free massage at that.

She didn’t see much wrong with letting Jade take over from there. It was beyond obvious she knew what she was doing in this place. As the two of them went through the motions of quite an intense, involved physical treatment that saw much of the unicorn’s body rinsed, scrubbed, squeezed, scratched and occasionally battered, the dragoness proved her expertise. Without a doubt, she had done this before, and likely frequented this place; this long, dauntingly deep, dimly lit chamber offered Jade no cause for stop or consultation. All the odd looking tools and drawers served a purpose, and she didn’t need to learn it. Certainly saved Scarlet the trouble. Scarlet herself couldn’t even be bothered to remember the layout of their room, thrown off by the persistent spinning sensation and the checkered watery flickers on the walls.

Well, this was new. She could’ve offered this friendly hangout a token of suspicion for how Jade treated her, if not for two things. One, she wasn’t dumb: maintaining suspicion long after you had all the proof in the world was paranoid, and despite the common stereotype, a good detective never let herself turn to paranoia. And Jade’s loyalty had become fact. Two, this really was something. The dragoness was right. She got her way into big money, and hell, this sort of shit was worth the big bits. Her body felt soft, malleable, yet strong and empowered. All the good and none of the bad.

This weird exotic massage stuff Jade practiced on her; well, maybe there was a good reason this joint offered it at such exorbitant prices. This was good… it would keep her sharp and tough once the money softened her up. There was no downside here. None. Scarlet latched onto this thought as it circled in and out of her mind, drowning out any unwanted noise building up in her subconscious. Her subconscious had no power here; its purpose was to help her catch thugs and trail goons, not mess up the one day off she’d finally been convinced to take.

The end result was inevitable for a first-timer like herself, as Jade explained to the puttified mare. She simply wasn’t accustomed to having her internal workings be so rigorously, manually twisted and tweaked. Scarlet could barely see straight, having gotten so accustomed to the haze, scent and noise permeated by the aquatic mix filling the room which had oozed out over the course of hours. Keeping coherent – forget it. Fortunately, the Pearl Lagoon had a policy for handling lax cases like her, as Jade informed her they’d be taking an exit straight out of this chamber. That made sense.

The serpent was even mindful enough to bring Scarlet’s clothes over and help her out of the room once it was all said and done. Her legs were still a little wobbly, and she had trouble remembering which direction the lockers were in, let alone which one she picked. Stupid gemstone markers, stupid water, stupid haze...

Waddling through the ascetic passageway that led straight to the private parking lot, Scarlet shook her head and cast off those thoughts. She got too used to perpetual annoyance and frustration. Today was good. Now, her body and mind were ready for real work. Jade thought as much, and she knew more about this sort of girl stuff. A good detective trusted their sources, right? Right.

The detective nodded to herself, finding it convenient that for once, her red and black strands weren’t invading her eyes every time she moved her head. She glanced at herself in the rear view mirror of the carriage Jade had led them to. She didn’t truthfully remember much of the road back, but it was definitely a tight experience in managing unneeded mental routines. Now, now she would be at her best. Her body wasn’t going to hold her back now – somehow, some way, it was doing that before.

She certainly didn’t disagree when Jade suggested the idea. It made sense. One less obstacle on her path to snagging her first Rogue. A partner who actually helps her endgame with no overbearing, self-serving rhetoric – who would’ve thought?