Hello, Goodbye, Hello Zephyr
Written by TheCrimsonDM
Rainbow Dash stood in front of Fluttershy’s cottage listening to the teal colored nightmare prattle on. Zephyr had made it his life’s work, his one defining trait, his one and only impression upon the whole of Equestria to annoy the ever living crap out of her. Zephyr stood there, his face half way buried behind a rose and looking at her with eyes half closed.
“Come on, Rainbows, say yes already,” he winked, “We both know you want too.”
Rainbow Dash growled. “For the hundredth time, I, am, not, interested!”
Zephyr smiled. “Oh come now, my Rainbows. What about last time?”
Rainbow Dash pulled her hoof back, she was going to kick him. “That was a mistake.”
He threw his head up into the air and sighed. “Oh, Rainbows, sure it was awkward but you weren’t half bad.”
Rainbow Dash’s hoof flew forward and just as she was about to hit his face with every ounce of energy she had a sudden cold came over her entire body freezing her in place. She couldn’t move. It was like her entire body had been cast in led. She looked over to the side and saw Fluttershy glaring at her.
Zephyr looked at Rainbow Dash’s outstretched leg and nuzzled into it. “Oh, Rainbows! Of course you can pet me. We can even use my sister’s bed for some more intimate petting if you’d like. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”
Rainbow Dash withdrew her leg, it was itching with his cooties. She looked down at the ground. “I swear, Zephyr, one of these days I’m going to hurt you.”
“Oh ho, you’re worried you’d hurt my feelings.” He blinked a few times in rapid succession. “Of course you’d never hurt me, our love will blossom and rule over the land as the best pegasus couple that has ever-“
Rainbow listened to him going on. It was like a fountain of garbage that would never end. She needed a way to end this. He just didn’t listen whenever she said she wasn’t interested… but maybe there was something she hadn’t tried that could work. A way that would force him to realize she was not interested. A full proof plan to end his inane quest once and for all. “I don’t like dudes.”
“Good thing for you, I’m not a ‘dude’.”
She blinked. Leaned over and looked at his undercarriage. “You sure about that?”
He stepped to the side. “Of course not. I’m a gentlemen.”
Rainbow Dash face hoofed with enough force to leave a lasting sting. It was still a good plan, he was just really dense. She tried again. “Okay, look, I’m gay.”
His smile told her that he was going to continue being a brick wall today. “You’re happy! I’m happy too. We’ll be the gayest, happiest couple in the world.”
Fluttershy had joined by Rainbow’s side at this point. “Rainbow Dash, thank you for babysit- er um… keeping my brother company.”
Rainbow Dash was still pissed at her. She left her here to be a sacrifice so Fluttershy could do what, get a massage or something. A sudden plan came to mind, one to get back at Fluttershy and end this stupid one sided crush once and for all. “Hey, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy looked over. “Yes, Rain-“
Fluttershy couldn’t finish speaking as Rainbow Dash planted her lips firmly against Fluttershy’s and pulled her in tight and close. She kept kissing her until she felt like her body was burning. This was beyond stupid but it had to work. Once Rainbow Dash pulled away Fluttershy’s face was entirely red and her panting was very telling. The trail of saliva leading to Rainbow’s lips didn’t snap until she turned back to look at Zephyr. Rainbow grinned. “Now do you get it?”
Zephyr nodded. “Yeah, I got it, Rainbows.”
“Good. Now stop hitting on m-“
“You want to sleep with both me and my sister.” Zephyr winked. “I wouldn’t share you with anyone else in the world but for my sister I’ll make an exception. After all she’s really just the girl version of me.”
Well… that killed her mood. Any and all energy she might have gotten from the kiss with Fluttershy was ruined now. Fluttershy was ruined now. All she could see in her head was Fluttershy with stubble and having Zephyr’s voice. Rainbow pulled away from Fluttershy. “You know what, I think even Trixie isn’t as dense as you are.”
He grinned. “Thank you, I am rather bulky now aren’t I? It’s all that working out I’ve been doing.”
Rainbow Dash turned around. “Okay, that’s it. I’m out.” And she meant it too. She was gone, and done with this already. She wasn’t going to give Zephyr another chance. If only some other super fast girl pegasus could take her place, she’d be rid of him once and for all. She spread her wings, crouched down low, ready for take off and then something came to mind.
She didn’t have another super fast pegasus but she had an idea. It wasn’t a brilliant one, but it was a plan none the less. One that might even work. She stood back up, relaxed her wings and glanced at Zephyr who’s eyes were noticeably on somewhere other than Rainbow’s face. “Hey, Zephyr, you really like me huh?”
He nodded. “Sure I do, Rainbows. Wouldn’t love another soul as much as you.”
She had just the place to make this plan work. “Go to the abandoned windmill outside of town. I’ll… surprise you there.”
He spread his wings and flew into the air giving a might, “Woohoo!”
Once he was flying away and out of year shot she glanced at Fluttershy who hadn’t moved an inch. “Flutters, you still have that old love potion you tried to trick me with once?”
Fluttershy fell over onto her side. Foam was coming out of her mouth. Rainbow Dash poked her with a hoof. Yep, she was out of it. Maybe Rainbow was too much of a good kisser. Then again she was Rainbow Dash, best flying pony in Equestria, why shouldn’t she also be the best kisser too?
***
Later, and after much coercing from Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash was able to get that old love potion. It wasn’t nearly as bad as that love poison that the Cutie Mark Crusaders once used but it was a great start and a good prank. Probably the one and only time Fluttershy tried to prank her. Considering it failed it was no wonder Fluttershy never tried again.
Rainbow Dash arrived at the old windmill. Legends said that a lightning storm had once hit the old windmill and a ghost now lived in here because of it; a lightning ghost. Honestly it sounded pretty cool, but Rainbow didn’t have time to go ghost hunting. She only had time to get Zephyr off her rear.
Once at the windmill she saw Zephyr sitting out front of it brushing his mane. She landed and he wasted no time in opening his mouth and letting garbage fall out. “My Rainbows, you’re finally here. This place is perfect for our second coming.”
Rainbow Dash shoved a potion into his hooves. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Go inside, drink this and don’t come back outside until I come in to get you.”
Zephyr put the bottle to his lips and she used a quick wing tip to stop the bottle from going any further. “Don’t drink it outside, you idiot!”
He nodded. “Oh, it’s an aphrodisiac. You know you don’t have to use that on me, I’m already in love with you.” He then smiled. “But this might make it more fun. I’ll do as you say my love.”
Rainbow Dash growled. “Just go inside already.”
He did and she shut the door behind him. Now all she had to do was leave. Leave and never let him see her face again. Good luck to whatever poor soul would receive his advances once he saw them. She took off in a flight with no intention of ever returning.
At least until she realized that eventually Fluttershy was going to go check on her brother… as funny as that would be, she honestly didn’t feel that would be a good idea. After all, would Fluttershy really push his advances away or would she eventually give in. The thought alone was enough to make Rainbow Dash want to vomit.
She let out a sigh and turned around. She wasn’t going to let him see her but she’d be sure to not let Fluttershy become the target of her own brother’s madness. Rainbow Dash flew into the second floor of the old windmill and using her masterful sneaking prowess she found a place to camp out while being completely hidden. She could actually see him down below through broken floorboards. Zephyr has holding the empty bottle in his hooves and sitting down looking a little lost for wear. Maybe he’d try and return to Fluttershy instead, what could she do then?
Maybe using magic to make a pony fall in love with someone else really wasn’t the best idea after all.
The room below looked a little weird though. There was a mattress in the corner with a blanket and pillow. A few half empty water bottles. Empty soda cans and bags of chips. It almost looked like some pony was living here. Maybe she’d luck out and Zephyr would meet this pony and fall in love.
That’s when she heard it. Somepony’s hoofsteps coming from deeper into the windmill. Rainbow Dash waited with her breathe held hostage. The time was near. She could feel it in her bones, in her soul.
A mare’s voice called out from somewhere Rainbow Dash couldn’t see. “Who’s there?”
Zephyr looked over. “Oh, I didn’t know somepony else was here. Rainbow’s gonna… gonna…”
“Rainbow? As in Rainbow Dash? What could she do?”
Zephyr shook his head. “She could never look as beautiful as you, that’s for sure.”
There was silence for a moment. The mare finally responded. “You… you think I’m pretty?”
Zephyr picked himself up. “No, I think you’re stunning.”
Rainbow caught a glimpse of the mare. Her teal colored legs were covered in a bit of dirt, but somehow seemed familiar. In fact that voice did too. It was a little rough, but held a slightly feminine touch to it. Who was living here?
The mare’s voice replied with a bit of shakiness to it. “R-really? I… who are you?”
Zephyr grinned. “I’m Zephyr Breeze, the best stallion you’ll ever meet.”
She laughed, it was a bit cold and harsh. “Zephyr, you mean that pony that stalked Rainbow Dash around? Hmmm… yes, yes I can live with that.”
Zephyr bowed his head. “And who is it that my eyes have the pleasure of gazing upon.”
“Oh who, me? My name is Lightning Dust.”
Rainbow Dash’s was grinding her mental gears for a moment. Lightning Dust, Lightning Dust, Lightning Dust… wait, was that the mare from the academy? The one that had no idea what friendship was and nearly hurt members of their own team?
Rainbow Dash had to see this. She flew down and landed near a hole she could see through. The mare’s mane was a bit messy, her fur was covered in dirt, but she was indeed who she claimed to be. She was Lightning Dust.
Zephyr smiled. “Why would such a beauty be living in this old place?”
Lightning Dust shook her head. “I was flying inside a storm cloud, it’s really fun you know, but I got hit by lightning and so I’ve been staying in this old place until I could fly out again. Lucky you, I was going to leave today.”
Zephyr took a step forward. “Please, don’t leave me yet. I haven’t gotten to have my fill of you’re presence, if such a thing could ever happen.”
She laughed and put a hoof to her chest. “Oh, by all means, stay. With such a handsome stallion I might change my mind about leaving entirely.” She walked up and put a hoof to his cheek and gently stroked him. “Oh, you’re stubble gives me tingles. It’s like static electricity.”
She leaned close and their lips met. It was only for a second but the kiss had happened. The love potion’s effects would only break if someone used a cleansing spell on him now. Part of Rainbow Dash felt guilty about this. Maybe she felt bad for tricking Zephyr to fall for another pony, maybe she felt bad about giving false hopes to Lightning Dust.
Either way she had just enough honor left to try and make up for this. She flew through the opening and landed behind Zephyr. He glanced back at her but his eyes looked different. He looked happy, but distant. Lightning Dust growled and stepped forward.
Lightning Dust spoke coldly. “What are you doing here?”
Rainbow Dash looked at the potion bottle. “Trying to fix a dumb mistake. Zephyr, that potion you drank-“
He let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Rainbows. I know you told me to drink it but I just couldn’t. It smelled rancid. So I poured it out and hoped you wouldn’t notice.”
Rainbow Dash cocked her head to the side. “So you mean you didn’t drink the potion, and you’re still hitting on Lightning Dust?”
Lightning Dust nearly roared, “OH so someone needs some kind of potion to hit on me is that it?”
Zephyr turned to face Rainbow Dash and shrugged. “Sorry, Rainbows. What can I say; I just have good tastes in pegasi.”
Rainbow felt her eye twitching. She spun around and marched toward the door. “So all this time you were lying to me! You filthy, disgusting, miserable, smelly DOG!” she marched out the door spread her wings and took flight. She wasn’t even sure why she was angry, but she screamed back, “I’m going to your sister’s house now, and we’re going to do all kinds of things! Without you I might add!”
He waved and nuzzled into Lightning Dust’s side as if nothing was wrong. Lightning Dust’s face turned pink and she nuzzled him back. Rainbow Dash roared and flew faster. All these years he’d been, and she’d been, and that one time they’d… By Celestia she was furious. Who cares if Zephyr was finally in love with some other pony, she was angry now and that’s all that mattered.
Well, at least this wasn’t her fault. Zephyrs could safely blame himself for this and had no one else to blame this mistake on. Rainbow meanwhile was going to go back to Fluttershy and explain the whole thing, and steal her tub of vanilla ice cream and rant for as long as she could. It was the least Fluttershy could do. After all, none of this would have happened if Fluttershy could have just trusted her brother enough to leave him home alone.
The End.
