It's Not A Love Story

by Forgetful

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe, Changelings, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Shining Armor, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2577

They're just nerds.

Shining has secretly befriended a certain Queen of the Changelings.

Turns out she's just a harmless nerd.

Now if only his family and friends would put down the torches and pitchforks.

Featured 7/21/20, briefly #1 on said day! ~ Squee!

Published 2020-07-21 18:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-23 20:04:16 UTC

Nerd Burgers

The moon basked all of Equestria in a pale blue light, stars above glimmered like diamonds on this especially lazy night of peace. Not a pony could be seen on the streets of Canterlot, as only a select few shops were open.

The Hay Burger, one such shop, within the barn-like structure sat a single pony near the far right of the restaurant. She was dressed in a bright pink hoodie and casually sipped on a Giga Gulp, a cream-colored waitress cantering over with a polite smile.

"Are you ready to order ma'am?" She spoke in a melodic tune, holding a tiny notebook at her side with yellow unicorn magic.

"Sure, I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and another Giga Gulp." The pony's tiny black muzzle flashed a sheepish grin.

"Uhh, coming right up?" The waitress backed away slowly in utter shock.

The front door swung open as Shining Armor trotted inside his gaze that of a constipated yak, he was dressed in an oversized beige cloak hiding away his features from all prying eyes. The pink hooded pony waving him over, her dark black hoof covered in multiple holes.

"Chryssy, is that you?" Shining inched closer with uncertainty.

"I don't know, are you Mr. Dork?" Chrysalis giggled sarcastically behind her own hood.

"Laugh it up, it's dangerous to meet in crowded places!" Shining sighed, plopping down on the opposite side of the booth.

"It is!? ~ Shining Armor is meeting with a changeling, the utter madness of it all!!" Chrysalis swung both hooves high into the air wildly, her voice booming.

"Are you insane!?" Shining snapped in a panic, head darting around the completely empty room.

"Dude chill, this place is absolutely dead." Chrysalis rolled dark green eyes.

"You can never be too careful." Shining narrowed ocean blue eyes to his friend.

"Hmm, you weren't too careful when we met up to LARP?" Chrysalis snorted out loud.

"How was I supposed to know that AD was from a Changeling Queen?" Shining seemed to relax a bit more in his seat.

"Bug loving pony in search of changes, looking for a LARP partner to explore the Power Pony Universe! ~ Yeah sounds totally mysterious…" Chrysalis blew a tiny raspberry playfully.

"At the time it was, so how is the hive?" Shining cleared his throat to change the subject.

"Well, we're still regrouping after the whole invasion thing." Chrysalis scrunched her muzzle cutely.

"That bad huh?" Shining could feel sweat trickling down his forehead.

"Each day is a bit harder, but we manage." She flaunted her hoof in place dismissively.

Shining couldn't help himself but feel uneasy about this blooming friendship, she was a former villain after all that tried to take over the Crystal Kingdom. "So any plans after the repairs?" He swallowed the lump growing in his throat.

He knew these meetings were taboo, yet he couldn't stop himself from searching them out.

"Are we going to strike again out of revenge?" Chrysalis arched a thin brow across the table.

"No, no, no….yes?" He felt his cheeks burn a bright red.

"Can't say it wasn't on my mind when being flung into the horizon by a love explosion…" Chrysalis licked her lips slowly searching her mind for the right words.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Shining snorted sheepishly.

"But after getting to know you from what seven meetings?" She spoke in a genuine tone of voice.

"Nine actually," Shining spoke up playfully.

"Well, ponies are sort of cool… I suppose." Chrysalis flashed a sly smirk in return.

"You're being honest aren't you?" Shining smiled his hoof gently resting atop his new friend's hoof.

"Duh, dork!" Chrysalis pulled away just as her order was being pulled out into the open by a large trolly.

"Hungry?" Shining burst into a howl of laughter behind his cloak.

"Absolutely, I rarely get to eat what I want! ~ My four hundred children usually dictate over the meal plans…" Chrysalis slowly turned her head to see the shocked waitress gawking.

"Yeah, this figure is all mine!" Chrysalis wiggled her hips in place playfully.

"I'll take water." Shining shook his head laughing, the waitress trotting off in uncertain silence of what exactly was going on.

"This place has the best burgers!" Chrysalis lowered her head into the bounty of food on the table, lifting upward with a red muzzle covered in ketchup.

"Don't you eat love?" Shining chuckled quizzically.

"You ponies like friendship, but don't like shrivel up without it!" Chrysalis smacked her jaws slowly in deep thought.

"Love is delicious to have, but we do like other things." She used her long slimy tongue to clean off her cheek.

"Really, do your kids have a favorite?" Shining poked fun at the Queen smirking.

"Wiseass! ~ I think seventy-two of them like fruit, but I'm honestly not sure." Chrysalis pursed her lips as her friend chuckled it up across the booth.

"So for our next session, I was thinking of a Humdrum and Radiance saga!" Shining reached into his cloak removing a chunky book of role-play ideas.

"Boring, I just finished my Mane-iac costume!!" Chrysalis quickly chirped as the stallion gasped in a shocked horse noise.

"You're bucking kidding!?" He nearly bounced out of his seat in excitement.

"No, it's time for the origin story arc." She squealed in excitement, Mane-iac's backstory her absolute favorite series of comics ever.

The waitress slowly inched her way back to the table with water in tow, Shining flipping open his book to jot down a few fleeting ideas for their upcoming sessions. "This is going to be amazing, I just need to find an abandoned vat to dunk you in." The glass of water slowly placed in front of him.

"Are you a terrorist?" The waitress blurted out in a shaken voice to these two cloaked ponies.

"Worse, we're zombie terrorists!" Chrysalis pulled her hood down, revealing a rotted pony corpse with no mane and an open eye socket overflowing with maggots.

The waitress screamed in absolute terror trying to run away, tripping over her own hooves before crashing to the floor with a loud thud. Her head popped against the floor hard, the poor mare knocked out cold in a matter of seconds.

"Bouncy Buffet is everything ok out there!?" A stallion's voice rang out from the kitchen worriedly.

"Yes boss, just dropped a darn plate!" Chrysalis mimicked the waitress's voice perfectly in reply.

Shining lowered his hood glaring to the changeling for such a mean spirited joke. "Was that really called for?" He pursed both lips sternly in dissatisfaction, Chrysalis returning to normal in a fiery flash of light.

"No, but it was fun." She shrugged quickly, stuffing a whole burger into her mouth.

"Om-nom, besides now the meal is free." She stuffed the remaining amount of food deep into her hoodie.

"Chryssy!" Shining snapped as his sense of honor kicked in.

"Fine! ~ Half off!!" Chrysalis grumbled and tossed a few mossy bits on the table.

Shining quickly chugged his water down in a flash, jumping out of the booth while pocketing his book safely against his chest. "We should go before this undoubtedly gets out of hoof." He chuckled, galloping towards the door.

"Absolutely." Chrysalis followed after him, stopping to mug a bag of bits from the unconscious unicorn on the floor.

Outside Shining stood under the protective glow of the moon, his thoughts locked on Chrysalis and the odd feeling of friendship he felt with her. Whenever he tried to share his passions with Cadance, she'd zone out or simply pick up a book and nod along.

But with Chryssy, it was completely different. She'd share her own theories on the subject, talk about her cosplays or gush over new figures she had acquired. He had been uncertain about this odd bug at first, but after ten meetings without an incident.

He didn't think she was so much a psychopath.

But just a plain old nerd.

Twilight always spoke of redemption of the wicked, perhaps this was his chance to prove her words correct. By forgiving the past and moving forward with confidence, Chrysalis soon at his side, her face hidden from the world.

"Same time next week?" She chirped with a cricket like melody.

"I trust you Chryssy." Shining felt the words escape his muzzle.

"Guess this would be a horrible time to mug you then." She flashed a fangy grin.

"Seriously, I see you as a friend." Shining turned to face the adorkable bug, lowering her hood gently with his hoof.

"Uh?" She tilted her head confused.

"I'd be honored if you would want to visit the palace." Shining gave his goofiest smile.

"To be arrested?" Chrysalis bluntly replied.

"No, to just hang out!" Shining slapped his forehead.

"Kay?" Chrysalis quickly pulled her hood back up.

"Seriously, just know I'm not ashamed of you." He placed his hoof on her shoulder.

Chrysalis quickly pulled away darting off towards the horizon, she spun around to wave goodbye in a flustered state. "I know, dork!" She giggled soon vanishing into the night.

Shining stood on the empty street alone, he could tell she was frightened of change.

A fear he prayed that he could lift from her heart, nopony deserved to be cast away.

Nopony.

Nerd Problems

"So I was cleaning up Her Majesty's bedroom and found this on the closet floor." A female guard changeling proudly wore a wig exploding forth in wild tangles.

"What is it?" A male guard questioned confused.

"I dunno, but I look like Maredusa! ~ Hissy, hissy, hissy!!" The guard shook her head side to side laughing loudly.

Chrysalis slowly trotted down the dark dreadful hallway, her hoof steps halting in front of the jester trying to impersonate a guard. "Snooping around my private quarters?" She hissed much like a snake about to strike.

"Your Majesty!?" The male squealed frightened.

"Snooping for garbage, ma'am." The female took a serious stance, a strong contrast to the messy wig hiding her face.

"If you enjoy garbage so much, I order you to clean out the lower dungeons!" Chrysalis yanked the wig off her subject hatefully.

"But there are twenty tons of…" Her large pink hues watched in terror, Chrysalis's eyes burning bright like hot coals.

"Right away!" The guards both bolted down the hallway at top speeds.

"I hate kids." Chrysalis sighed dragging her hooves into the dark chamber to her right.

Her room was ice cold to the touch, devoid of any emotional sentiments at all. A howl of wickedness clung to the air above, as dark green colored flames lit her room in an eerie glow of pure evil. Indeed this was an area that all would fear, and the mere sight haunting the innocent for at least a hundred moons.

Making sure the coast was clear and the door locked, Chrysalis happily swung the wig upon her head with a joyous sigh of relief. She hated being stern with her children, but they needed a guardian that they could fear, one who could toughen them up against the injustices of this world.

Booping the snoot of a nearby changeling bust. The whole room was transformed in a flash of bubbly pinks and powder blues, a wall shifting open as a shelf of Power Pony figures proudly showcased.

Posters of Death Oat, Llama 1\2, and Doki Doki Friendship Club unraveling across the walls.

Her dark shadowy bed lowering into the floor, replaced by a bright pink affair overflowing with various Ponymon Plushies. Chrysalis was quick to plop onto her bed in defeat, floating her Gamecolt over from under the sheets.

That dork had to ruin their secret meetings by getting all mushy on her. She enjoyed the adrenaline of sneaking away into the void to cosplay or Larp, it was a rare moment in her life to not be seen as a complete monster.

Shining Armor understood that sometimes it was nice to be somepony else. To allow all your worries to fade away, be the creature that others just wouldn't understand. But now he wanted to go public, to risk losing this time which had become not totally annoying.

"That foalish oaf!" Chrysalis tossed the miniature console onto the floor with a thud.

"If I refuse his offer, he'll think I'm ashamed of him!" Chrysalis snapped her jaws shut in growing anger.

"But if I just waltz up into the palace, I'll be arrested for sure!!" Chrysalis groaned thoughts of rotting away in a cell haunting her mind, or worse yet getting stoned by the princesses.

That'd be embarrassing.

"I'll just tell him tough cookies, we're not going to his place!" She floated a hay burger out of her hoodie lacklusterly before taking a rather large chomp.

"You invited a pony over to play?" Cadence narrowed her eyes slowly towards her husband confused.

"It's more of an acting exercise, but yes." Shining flipped his cloak off to the floor, giving a large stretch before walking over to his wife's bed.

"Do I know him?" Cadence giggled playfully as she rolled onto her side.

"It's a she, and yes." Shining knew he had to play this just right, or his wife would certainly lose her mind.

Cadence gave a tiny scrunch of her muzzle from hearing a certain pronoun, her lower lip curling into a tiny pout as if trying not to yell. "You never said, you were hanging out with a mare." The alicorn smacked her lips with a loud pop.

"Does it matter?" Shining quirked a brow.

"How would you like it, if I vanished with a bunch of stallions!?" Cadence quickly lifted up to her haunches, both hooves crossing over her chest.

"You do every day, our Royal Guards!" Shining closed both eyes with a grunt.

"It's not the same! ~ When you said you were going off to play make-believe…" Cadence spoke with a sharp sting to her voice.

"It's an acting EXERCISE!" Shining snapped back as both hooves lifted high defensively.

"You never said it was with some… Tart!" Cadence let an extra loud snort escape her nostrils.

"She's not a tart, she's more like a harmless Tsundere… maybe with a few yandere tendencies?" Shining stumbled over his words nervously.

"What does that even mean!?" Cadence flashed a very flustered look of confusion.

Before Shining could even offer an explanation, his wife smacked him upside the head with a pillow. Her pink hooves pointing towards the door, as her once gentle gaze had ignited with the flames of jealousy.

"Out!" Cadence huffed in anger.

"C'mon it's late and…" Shining watched as his wife floated his first edition of Power Ponies over towards the room's lit fireplace.

"Fine, I'll sleep in the kitchen!" Shining rolled out of the bed with a thud.

In a matter of moments, the door to his sanctuary was slammed shut. His world cast into the darkness of the night, if she was this angry at finding out his friend was female, what would happen when it was revealed to be a certain bug?

Shining thought he should hide away any collectibles first, before pushing the subject further. If she could just see this was an excellent chance at redemption, he knew her mindset would change for the better.

But that was a level for another day.

For now, it was game over.