Weekend at Fat Camp: Big Mac's Torment
Only in Death Does Duty End
Big Mac enjoyed his second job, most of the time. Compared to bucking apples, giving rides to tourists was certainly less wear on his joints and less boring, to boot. His current guest, whose name was "Kayla", if he recalled correctly, is his favorite one today.
"So, there I was, seeing this mongoose trying to sneak into the chicken pen. I was riding my horse, Logan, and the fence was blocking my shot. So I stood up on the saddle, and got him with my rifle at 150 feet. My daddy was so proud then, said I was the best twelve-year-old shooter he'd ever seen."
"Uh, you meant sirrup, not saddle, right, partner? There ain't no way you can steady yourself enough to take a shot standing on the saddle."
She laughed. "Well, that's were you're wrong, Big Mac. Wanna see?"
Before Big Mac realized what was going on, she had already jumped up onto the saddle, and gotten into a shooting posture. He felt a bead of sweat roll down his face as he slowed to a halt. If she fell off, would he get sued? Them Americans were a litigious people, after all.
Big Mac felt a bit of relief as she sat back down and then jumped off. "Well, that was a fun ride. Maybe I'll see you again in town some time?" Kayla asked.
"Eeyup, I'm sure you'd make a great friend, Kayla", Big Mac replied. Her slight frown reminded him that he had made the right choice.
Big Mac walked into Filthy Rich's office to punch out for the day, still a little upset.
"I thought I told you to send the weirdos to Bulk Biceps. He's the one who's actually interested in them types!"
Rich facehoofed. "You got another one? I'm actually really sorry about that, Big Mac, but they don't exactly stamp 'I'm a sexual degenerate' onto their foreheads. Besides, Bulk Biceps was busy with an important client."
Big Mac sighed. "Well, I suppose it can't be helped. See you on Wednesday, then?"
Rich shook his head. "Actually, I just got a call from Earth. We're going to need all hooves on deck for tomorrow."
"Why, what's happening tomorrow?"
Rich grimaced slightly. That was the moment Big Mac knew he was fucked.
"Well, we're booked out by a summer camp tomorrow. You like kids, right? It'll be fun. You probably won't even have to work all the hours that you're paid." Rich's smile was less than convincing.
"What kinda camp are we talkin' about here, Rich?"
Rich looked Big Mac in the eyes. "It's a weight loss camp. I'm so sorry."
"N-No, I ain't doin' that again, boss. I think I'm feeling a bit under the weather, now that I think-"
"And if not you, then who? Bulk can't survive pulling your shift too. Marble is too small for this. We have no other choice. Please. I'll pay you quadruple overtime. We can't afford another discrimination lawsuit."
Big Mac knew Rich was using his sense of honor and fairness against him, but couldn't disagree with his logic.
"Fine. I'll do it. Just- if I don't make it, tell my sister that I love her."
Rich reached over and put a hoof on Big Mac's shoulder. "No. You're going to make it through this, and you're going to tell her youself."
Big Mac wished he could believe him.
Big Mac had many friends. However, there was only one who could truly understand his current plight. Bulk Biceps was already in the bar when he entered.
The white stallion gave an excited wave. "Hey, Mac. You hear about what's happening tomorrow?"
"I- yeah. How're you holdin' up?"
Bulk gave a big grin. "Just fine, brah! You hear we're going to be paid triple overtime tomorrow? If every weekend was like this, I'll be able to do this as my full time job!"
Big Mac sighed. He wanted to tell Bulk the truth, but just couldn't. Big Mac supposed it was going to be one of those things he just needed to lie about, like Granny and her cancer.
He gave a reassuring smile. "Yeah. I'm sure it'll turn out just fine. Anyways, I got another one of those... weird clients."
Bulk gave Big Mac a friendly punch on the shoulder. "Well, I guess I can't always have all the good luck, brah. Was she hot?"
"Are you seriously attracted to them, Bulk? They ain't even the same species. That stuff just ain't right."
Bulk laughed a little. "Well, attracted might be an overstatement. But they certainly seem to like it, and every time I nail one, my test levels go up, brah. Shit is so cash. Ever since I started banging those tourists, I've been hitting new PRs like Soarin' hits his wife, brah."
"You ain't suppose to joke about that, Bulk." Big Mac looked around the bar nervously.
"Well, you weren't his roommate at the Wonderbolts Academy, brah. The two of them going at it made me lose more than one night of sleep, brah."
The audacity of anyone, much less a famous military officer, beating his wife at the Academy of all places stunned you into silence. A few drinks later, and Kayla of all people appeared at your table. She seemed to enjoy Bulk's company, and soon the two were flirting openly.
Big Mac smiled. At least one of them was happy. For now.
"Listen, I'm going to call it a night early, Mac. Can't let them gains goblins steal my gains, brah. Got a competition a week from now. Have to keep to my cut."
The two went in the direction of the bathroom instead of the door, but Big Mac didn't bother to correct them. They'll find their way out eventually. With his friends gone, Big Mac soon found himself drinking in the bar alone, afraid of the future. He thanked Celestia that he had life insurance. Even if he didn't make it, his family would survive. His farm would survive.
He felt grateful for the small blessings.
Big Mac walked himself home, alone. He admired Luna's stars for their beauty, and felt alive in a way he hadn't in years. Too bad it might all end soon.
Applejack was the only one left awake by the time he got home. He walked over and gave her a tight hug.
"What did I tell you 'bout gettin' drunk and stayin' out this late, Mac? I'm worried about you. You alright?"
Big Mac knew that he couldn't lie to his sister, but he also didn't want her to lose sleep over his plight. Eventually, he decided to tell her everything. Honestly was a virtue among the Apple clan, after all.
"It's going to be a hard day's work for me tomorrow. We got called in for a special job. T-there's going to be a fat camp tomorrow, AJ." Big Mac broke into tears despite himself. It was the first time he's let his sister see him cry. "I know that I might not make it back tomorrow, but I want you to know that everything I do, I do for this family. I love you, AJ. I love Applebloom, and Granny, and this farm, and I'm so scared that I may never see any of you again-"
Applejack had a look on her face that was somewhere between disbelief and disgust. "Mac, stop messin' with me and go to bed." She gave him a smack on the snout for good measure. "And never joke about this stuff again. It ain't funny, and it's downright mean to them fat humans. They're here because they're tryin' to lose weight. I know ma and pa didn't raise us to make fun of creatures tryin' to better themselves."
Big Mac sighed. His sister never took his fears and concerns seriously. In a way though, he liked her that way. She was a rock he could anchor himself to, someone who would always pretend that things were going fine.
"I love you too sis", Big Mac said as he walked to his room. Things were not fine.