Bat Pony Pranksby Angel MidnightChaptersPrincess Luna's Carrot RampageVelvet Wings' Unfortunate MondayWhoopee!The Crack In The FloorDon't Be Such A ChickenSome Bat Guards Sit On The Ceiling For Their ShiftPrincess Luna's Carrot Rampage"Humph," Luna sighed sadly as she sat on one of Canterlot Castle's balconies. "Why am I the Princess of the Night if I hae trouble seeing in the dark? Celestia can see very far during her day, so why can't I see in the night?" "Eeeeeeeee? Is that yeeee, Preeencess Luna?" A bat pony mare asked, talking and echolocating at the same time. "Yes, I am Princess Luna. If I am correct, you are Echo." The mare stopped echolocating and flew into Luna's field of vision. "Yes indeed," Echo told the princess. "I heard you talking about your night vision, and I have a proposal." "Oh?" "Us bat ponies have slitted eyes, but there is another trick that we use to see in the dark. It involves eating the root of a magical plant, using our incredibly strong molars tucked in the back of our little mouths. So many ponies have no idea that we have molars." Echo pointed at her mouth when she said this. Luna could not stop herself. "Faithful subject, please tell me the name of said magical plant, so that I may harvest it and crunch on its roots." Echo grinned, showing off her small fangs. "The root that you so desire is the carrot. If eaten in large quantities it will grant you the power to see in the dark. For a pony of your height and magical abilities, fifty a day for a fortnight should be more than sufficient." "Then I shall order my subjects to deliver fifty carrots to my private dining room every day for two weeks!" Luna shouted before teleporting away. A bat pony stallion wearing armour walked out onto the balcony and asked, "Did the princess take the bait?" "Yes, Shadow. Princess Luna has..." "Yes, Raven Inkwell, I do so wish to have fifty carrots delivered to my private dining room every day for two weeks," Luna bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. The two bat ponies had to cover their tufted ears to avoid deafness. "Now send word at once: I expect the first fifty to arrive before noon tomorrow." Echo and Shadow burst into laughter. The very next day, fourteen carrot farms within fifty miles of Canterlot teamed up to fill Princess Luna's huge order. Of course, it wasn't as easy as giving Princess Luna the carrots all in one go, because they would go off. Also, the carrots had to be checked for quality, as Luna would be furious if she ended up with substandard carrots. The news that the prank had worked spread like wildfire among the bat ponies. The joke was based on an old tale they were told as foals, that they would only be able to see in the dark when they were adults if they ate their carrots. Nopony knew when the traditional tale was made up, but it worked well with young colts and fillies, and it worked on unknowing alicorns too. None of the bat ponies told the Solar Guards, because they were bound to tell Princess Celestia, and she would probably tell Princess Luna. It was quite a shock for the bat ponies, then, when Princess Celestia stormed into the Lunar Guard Barrack's mess hall in the evening a few days later and demanded, "Who here has played a trick on my sister?" None of the bat ponies answered or moved. "I shall hold all of you accountable until you tell me who came up with this idea and carried out the prank on my sister." On that note, Echo and Shadow were shoved forwards by the ponies around them. Both wore solemn faces and mumbled, "We are terribly sorry, Princess Celestia, and ask for your pardon." Celestia beamed like her fiery sun. "There is no need to pardon anypony. This is far better than any practical joke that I could pull on her! How on this planet did you do it?" Echo and Shadow shared a look. They could feel the stares of the other bat ponies. Echo said, "Shadow came up with the idea," giving him a nod. "Well," he began, "when bat pony foals refuse to eat their vegetables, we tell them that eating them will help them see better in the dark when they grow up. We all know that Princess Luna wants night vision like ours. I just wondered aloud if she would believe us if we told her the same story, that eating large amounts of carrots will improve her vision in the dark. Everypony voted for Echo here to tell Princess Luna, and your sister appears to have believed us." Celestia thought for a moment. "When her night vision does not improve, tell her that it may not work because she is technically a different type of pony to you lot. Echo and Shadow, I am giving you both a pay rise of ten percent. Collect your payday cheques tomorrow in the evening, just before day court is finished." The princess teleported out of the mess hall with a loud pop. There was silence in the room for about a minute. Then, one of the older bat ponies yelled from the back of the hall, "I shall buy a few barrels of Sweet Apple Acres' cider so zat we can toast ze two master pranksters!" A cheer was sent around the hall and the bat ponies prepared for a special feast on the final day of Princess Luna's carrot rampage. On the final evening, Echo and Shadow were part of the first night shift. They knew that they would likely face the wrath of the princess that they served. Sure enough, Luna teleported to them straight after moonrise and snarled, "Why can I barely see you, even though I have eaten the full seven hundred carrots over the two week period that you told me would be more than enough?!" "Maybe it didn't work," Echo said and shrugged. "I mean, bat ponies and pegasi have evolved into completely different species of pony. Just as earth ponies can't fly and only unicorns can cast spells, maybe only bat ponies are affected by the magical carrot." Luna furrowed her brow, turning to glare at Shadow as he began to laugh. His giggles died. "You are both fired. If you wish to have your jobs back, you can appeal to my sister in the morning." The furious alicorn stormed off just as their shift ended and two other bat ponies approached them. One whispered, "Get to the mess hall before Velvet Wings drinks all the cider." At that, Echo and Shadow flew to the barracks as fast as the Wonderbolts. If they were much faster, there would have been a Sonic Rainboom, and they would have had to pay for all of the windows in the castle replaced. However, they had been promised a share in the cider, and they also had to catch up with Princess Celestia to get their jobs back before they were kicked out of the barracks. As they walked into the mess hall, loud cheering erupted. It was probably loud enough to wake some of the Solar Guard in the next barrack, but nopony cared. Sure enough, Princess Celestia was there. She approached them and asked, "How did it go with Moonbutt?" "She fired us, Princess," Echo said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head with one hoof. "She told us to ask you for our jobs back or we would have to leave the barracks tomorrow." "You can have your jobs back, since the practical joke you pulled was so elaborate. However, next time you prank my sister, do it on a smaller scale: the farmers have been having a go at me for allowing her to order all of those carrots with such short notice." She chuckled and levitated a cup of cider to each of them. There was a knock on the door and everypony fell silent. "TIA! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" Luna shouted. Celestia said calmly, "It was a prank, Lulu. I played no part in it, but it was a beautiful prank. I have warned the guards not to do it again, but have reinstated their roles as royal guards. I am going to bed, but ask you not to have a go at them. Instead, enjoy some cider." She teleported away, leaving the bat ponies to their fate. Luna's wails of fury could be heard in Manehattan. Velvet Wings' Unfortunate MondayPART 1 Velvet Wings had the early Monday morning shift every week. After a weekend of relaxing, Princess Celestia usually needed a good cup of coffee to kickstart her day. The final part of his shift entailed making her coffee just right. The consequences would be amazing if he got it right, and disastrous if he got it wrong, which is why he was suspicious when he looked at the two jars of coffee - one extra strong for Luna, and decaf for Celestia - in the cupboard on one such Monday morning. The labels were peeling off. "Hmm," he grunted. "Zere is a problem with ze coffee labels, Princess Celestia." "To Tartarus with the coffee labels, Velvet Wings! I need my coffee!" Reluctantly, he grabbed the decaf jar and set it on the counter next to him. He levitated a teaspoon and it dipped into the coffee granules, lifting a few. They landed softly in a mug with Celestia's cutie mark on it. Next, he took the mug over to the sink and poured some water into it. His magic heated it to boiling point within seconds. A drip of sweat ran down the side of his head as he levitated the coffee over to Princess Celestia, who added the milk herself. She always insisted that only she knew how much milk to add to her coffee. He left the room and could just about hear her taking a sip. He sighed with relief. He had escaped this time... "VELVET WINGS!" Celestia roared. "This coffee is far too strong! Did you use the decaf or the extra strength coffee?" "I, uh, used ze decaf, Princess. Ze labels looked like zey had been tampered with, but I wasn't sure..." He heard snickering from another bat pony stallion, and sighed. He said, "Princess, it's ze other bats. Zey changed the labels. I'll make you another cup and switch ze labels back." He dragged the laughing stallion into the kitchen breakfast room, left him to his fate, and made Celestia a second cup so that it would be just right. And, to prevent any future incidents, when he switched the labels he used a sticking spell to make sure that they could never be taken off. However, he was sure that the other bats would soon be cooking up another joke. He grinned maniacally. Maybe he should cook up the revenge first... [page-break] PART 2 Velvet Wings slept well during the day, and woke early in the evening. He wrote out an invitation, teleported to the corridor where Luna's bedroom was and slipped it under her door. He teleported back to the Lunar Guard Barracks and silently trotted into the kitchen. He had a big evil plan that would more than make up for the trouble he had faced with Celestia. It was even better that he could also prank Luna at the same time. In the kitchen, he found just what he needed: the carbonated water that the bats enjoyed from time to time; and some spices. Bat ponies tended to only like small amounts of spice, which is exactly why he poured plenty of it into the stew that they were going to be eating that night. He wrote out a note for the kitchen staff. Princess Luna will be visiting tonight. I hear that carbonated water is one of her favourite beverages, so tonight is the perfect time to finish it off. No need to thank me, Velvet Wings. He headed to his post for the evening, and waited. Princess Luna received the invitation, and read it. Dear Princess Luna, I am inviting you to have a meal with us in the Lunar Guard Barracks at midnight tonight. Yours sincerely, Velvet Wings. Her eyes narrowed as she reread it. Was it a setup? It was bound to be. Still, she hadn't had much fun in a while, so she decided that she would go. First, though, she would talk to Velvet Wings to gauge how bad the setup was. She teleported, and Velvet greeted her. "Good evenings, Princess Luna. Hows are you on zis fine evening?" "Fine, thank you. I am a little curious about the invitation I received from you, Velvet Wings. I am inclined to go and have an enjoyable meal with the other bat ponies, but... I feel that there is something else going on." A trickle of sweat ran down his forehead, and he said nothing. Luna continued, "Am I in the firing line?" He whispered, "Zat depends. You like fizzy water? Carbonated? And spicy stew?" "Ooh, I do actually like both of those. I'll eat anything spicy, but Celestia ironically has a low tolerance of it. Carbonated water turns the stars in my mane into bubbles, which should make the bats laugh after they finish cursing each other. Clever thinking." He sighed in relief. He wouldn't be playing a joke on Luna, but the other bat ponies would be at least surprised by the "cook's" antics. "Thanks, Princess. Zis will be so funny tonights." "I agree." Velvet Wings had the perfect excuse why not to eat the stew, so when one of the kitchen staff asked, "Do you not like the stew?" he barely flinched. "I had stomach problems last time I had stew, so I'll have a mango instead," he answered, flying into the kitchen to find one. Once he did, he walked back into the mess hall, just as Princess Luna entered and took her seat. He sat next to her. Everypony except Velvet had a large mouthful of the stew. Princess Luna swallowed it with ease and said, "Mmm, good," while the bat ponies breathed jets of fire into the air. Velvet Wings and Luna could not help but laugh, which earned them some angry stares. After everypony had had some carbonated water and Luna's mane was full of bubbles, Velvet stood on a table and bowed. "Yes, it is I who put ze spice in ze stew," he giggled. "Zis is payback for somepony switching ze labels of ze coffee in ze royal kitchens. Now, who did it?" All of the bat ponies shrugged and furrowed their brows, while Princess Luna whistled and looked away. "ARGH! PRINCESS! YOU HAS NO IDEAS HOW ANGRY YOUR SISTER WAS!!" he roared at her. "YOU IS EVIL! NIGHTMARE MOON IN DISGUISE!" He chased her out of the barracks, and she did not return. It's no wonder, really, that she stood on a whoopee cushion outside her bedroom a week later. Author's Note Overused cliché number 1: I'm sorry! I couldn't not use the Princess Coffee cliché! Overused cliché number 2: spices. I've seen this used in MLP fanfiction at least 3 times, but it's more of a day-to-day happening in this world. Overused cliché number 3: whoopee cushion! Why not? There may or may not be more of these soon, depending on demand. The carbonated water was Samurai_Arashi's idea. Whoopee!Spoiled Rich had always disliked the Royal Sisters, especially Princess Luna. She was so mysterious, so strange, so unnatural. She had tried to bring eternal night twice, which was enough to make her terrified of the mare. Her guards... Well, they were just as strange. How did bat ponies even exist? Their leathery wings, their tufted ears, those glowing eyes, they made Spoiled Rich shiver with fear. Still, she had to go to court and help her husband get a court date so they could Sue the Apples. They were behind with their rent. Again. Even those two stupid unicorns Flim and Flam could pay the rent on time if they lived at the orchard. "Darling, we're ready," Filthy Rich said to his beloved wife. The Princesses had just lowered the sun and raised the moon together. It was time to see the wretched Princess of the Night. He led her through the castle to the throne room. Princess Luna was perched on her throne like a bird on a branch: leaning forward, wings spread, ready to take off at a moment's notice. She clearly expected trouble. It troubled Spoiled Rich. "Good evening, Mr and Mrs Rich," the princess greeted them. "Would you care to take a seat?" she asked, looking momentarily at the table and chairs that had been set up for the night's court meetings. Spoiled Rich pulled a chair across and leapt onto it. A loud sound like a group of foals blowing raspberries followed. Princess Luna kept the corners of her mouth from tilting upwards; the bat ponies, however, burst into raucous laughter. Spoiled stood up, and saw the edge of a red whoopee cushion sticking out from under the existing cushion. She glared at Princess Luna. "What is this lunacy?!" she shrieked. "Please do not use such blasphemy in front of me. I believe that you have been conned at the hand of the Lunar Guard. The bat ponies like playing little jokes. However, they are such good guards at night that I cannot get rid of them. Do not worry. I told them that if they played another of their jokes on a civilian their pay would be cut, so this terrible deed will not go unpunished. Please continue." Spoiled Rich stomped out of the throne room, muttering obscenities to herself. The rest of the evening court sessions were rather quiet in comparison. Author's Note Yes, I used the whoopee cushion again, courtesy of the user Samurai-Arashi. Please start sending me evil pranks in the comments again. I need more ideas. The Crack In The Floor"Mares and gentlecolts, we has a problem," Velvet Wings announced to the bat ponies that had gathered in the mess hall for "breakfast." "We has not pranked anyponys in weeks, and our reputatation is being lost. We mustn't let zat happens!" "Do we need to continue with these jokes, Velvet?" Midnght Blossom asked. She was a no nonsense mare with a lot of attitude. She saw no point in the other bats' jokes. "Of course we do!" he shouted. Murmurs of assent spread around the room. "Look, last time you did something, we all had a pay cut of fifteen percent. You pranked a civilian." "But Princess Celestia gave us an increase of double zat afterwards for ze good performance. Plus, we like Princess Twilight and her friends, and ze civilian wanted to evict one of ze Princess's friends." "I am wasting my breath," Midnight grumbled. "Continue if you so wish. Let's see who's laughing when we find out who gets the Lunar Guard of the Year promotion." She waltzed out of the mess hall. Those last words silenced the room and gave many of the guards a severe wake-up call. Each year, not long before Hearth's Warming Day, an awards ceremony was held for all of the castle staff. Not just the guards and servants, but also the royal advisors, the event planners and a whole host of other ponies. It was three months away, but still, the Solar and Lunar Guards of the Year received a very shiny plaque and a lot of bits. To win one of these awards was a huge honour, but Midnight was always a candidate for it, and winning against her was almost impossible. "Rights. We has a bigger problem: making sure zat somebat other than Midnight Blossom is ze Lunar Guard of ze Year." "How?" a bat mare asked. "She never does any pranks, unlike us." "I has two ideas. One is to frame her and claim that she has played lots of jokes. Ze second is to," he gulped, "scale ze pranks down a bit." Gasps and angry muttering were spread through the mess hall. "I have an idea," Echo said over the noise. Everypony fell silent again. "It's a small scale joke, but it will work well and we can keep it going for ages." "Explain," Velvet Wings ordered her. "Can anypony here remember being afraid of stepping on cracks in the floor as a foal, because they thought they would fall through?" she asked aloud. She grinned menacingly, enhancing her look by showing off two inches of fang. Almost everypony held a front hoof in the air. "I have an idea that involves several metres of cellotape and all of the guards who have the sunset shift in the throne room. Who's on the first night shift with me?" Most ponies put their hooves down, but about ten didn't. "Ok. The plan is to stick a line of tape on the throne room floor while the Princesses are sorting out the sun and moon, and make sure that [i]nopony steps on it." Echo finished laying the line of cellotape across the throne room floor. "There we are," she sighed happily. "How is zis a mastermind prank?" Velvet Wings dubiously asked. "We can see this at any time of the day or night, but ordinary ponies can't spot it. What us bats must do is avoid stepping on this cellotape, and convince other ponies not to. Now, let's get to our posts because the moon has almost risen completely. Princess Luna will be here soon." They walked to their posts and stood on either side of the barely visible line of tape. It was so thick that a foal would have to jump to cross it, and an adult pony would have difficulty in stepping over it. They decided that they would not bother older ponies (excluding alicorns) about it. Princess Luna entered the throne room and crossed the room. When she reached the line, Echo squealed, "Don't step there!" as if a viper was hidden under the carpet. "Dear Echo, what is wrong?" Princess Luna asked, concern in her voice. "There's a crack in the floor," she whispered. "Pardon?" "There's a crack in the floor. If you step on it, you will fall through!" Luna furrowed her brow in concentration. "You say that there is a crack in the floor of this throne room large enough for a pony to fall through?!" "It's not really a crack... It is a hole that stretches across the room, from one wall to the other. It opens here at night, and closes at dawn. I noticed it yesterday. It leads to a white room, just like they say Limbo is supposed to look." "Hmm, I shall have to have somepony look at it in the morning." She flew over the "gap," then walked over to her throne. Her horn's blue aura filled the room for a moment before a glowing blue rope materialised on either side of the line of tape. There were two visitors in evening court that night. One of them was Filthy Rich again, hoping to file a complaint against two businessmen who had apparently sold him a fake jewel. Since his concerns were actually valid this time, Princess Luna said that she would be in contact with the two brothers. The other visitor was there to book an appointment to see Princess Celestia, since he claimed he was unable to see her earlier in the day. All in all, nothing much happened, although their perplexed reactions to the roped off area provided some entertainment to the bat ponies. The next morning, Princess Celestia came into the throne room before sunrise at her sister's request to investigate the "crack" in the throne room floor. She stepped across a section of rope and onto the floor. When she had all four hooves on the marked area of ground, she examined the floor closer with the light of her horn. She only just noticed the glint ot the tape. "Do not fret, Luna, it was the bat ponies again, cooking up their silly jokes," she explained. "This one was actually minor, even though it meant I had to get out of bed an hour early. To be fair, though, I was having trouble sleeping anyway." "Do you need me to help out with the first court session whilst you sleep, sister?" Luna asked. "There is no need; a strong brew of tea shall be fine. As long as those bats don't add ghost peppers to it." A few bat ponies in the room sniggered. "You bat ponies and your jokes," she sighed as she and Luna left the room to raise the sun. As if being a ruler of Equestria could not be any harder. Author's Note Credits and apologies to cucharrador, who told me this idea. I totally forgot there, with so many prank and OC requests in my notifications and private messages. Which leads me to my next point: if I use your idea and forget to credit you, give me a reminder and I'll fix it right away. It seems that this story is attracting a lot of attention and I might not be able to use everyone's ideas and OCs due to high demand. Writing this brought back a few memories. I remember when I was little, I was scared to step on cracks in the pavement in case I fell through. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Don't Be Such A ChickenThe horde of sleepy bat ponies in the mess hall let out yawns as the roosters crowed outside, their strange calls echoing across the land. The sun was creeping above the horizon, and the bats were exhausted. They had all been forced to run around the castle, believing that there had been an intruder, when it turned out to be a hugely oversized rat. Nopony had admitted to casting a spell on it. Storm Bringer, a light grey bat pony with a golden mane and wings, gazed out of the window, listening to the roosters. He was unusual, even in the bat community: he had been born a normal pegasus, but was transformed into a bat pony by Nightmare Moon when she returned from her extended stay on the moon. Most bat ponies had a dark mane, tail and wings, so his gold and white patterns made him stand out. He also loved ghost peppers. "Hey, wake up Hook. Did you know that Princess Celestia has alektorophobia?" he asked his companion, a red-maned mare with a jet black coat. The mare jolted and looked around, startled. "What? You sure you're still awake? You just said that the Princess of the Sun is scared of chickens and you called me Hook. You know I don't like that." "Sorry, Jimmy Hook, oddly named bat mare specialising in transformation magic," Storm replied, earning an angry glare from her. "And yes, she's terrified of chickens and cockatrices alike. Apparently, Midnight Blossom's great-great-great-great-grandfather hid a cockatrice in her bedroom and she's had a phobia ever since." He grabbed a ghost pepper off of his dinner plate and greedily ate it whole, ignoring the stares that were thrown his way. "Wow. It seems she never inherited the prankster gene." "Prankster," Storm said to himself. The wheels in his mind began to turn, and rather than counting sheep, he began counting chickens as he slowly nodded off. Everything began to blur together in his head, and he suddenly woke and shouted "EURIKA!" Everything stopped, and all eyes turned to him. Rather than shying away, he stood up on his chair and told everypony, "I have just thought of a wonderful prank to play. I need a volunteer who isn't taking the evening shift tonight to find nine chickens and label them one to ten, obviously missing out a number. Get some sort of paint that won't harm their skin or feathers, so you can write a number on each one. Then, in the morning, we release them and let them do whatever they fancy." "Um, who is this joke being played on?" Midnight Blossom demanded. "I have half a mind to warn them." "The Princesses and the Solar Guards. Mainly Princess Celestia, although Princess Luna's sleep schedule will be affected by this. You have your great-great-great-great-grandfather to thank for this." Midnight's tufted ears grew bright red, and she did not say anything. "Who volunteers to find some chickens and some paint?" "I do!" Echo screeched, leaping into the air and hovering above everypony else. "Storm, Jimmy, I won't let you down. Nine chickens by midnight, labelled and released in the castle by dawn." She then yawned and said, "But right now I need a nap." She started the procession of bat ponies heading to their dormitories, and they all dreamt of what Celestia's face would look like when she discovered that there were chickens running loose in her glorious palace. The next morning, the bat ponies were wide awake despite having been on guard duty all night. Echo had nine chickens, labelled one to ten, with the number 6 missing. She told everypony that she found them in the Everfree Forest, but nopony could ever be sure due to her mischievous nature. "Nine chickens, labelled and ready to run wild," she announced in the mess hall upon her return. "I'll release them," Storm Bringer told her, taking the nine pet carriers with his magic and teleporting away. He teleported to the Royal Sisters' private dining room, and let one chicken go. He left another outside Celestia's bedroom. Then three in the throne room, where some bat ponies were still on guard duty. They were giddy with anticipation. Two more were left in the Solar Guard Barracks. Another was placed in the Garden of Statues. The final one was strategically placed in the Solar Guard Barracks when nopony was looking, to prove to Celestia that it definitely had nothing to do with the Lunar Guards. Storm laughed to himself as he let the chicken run free, then teleported back to the mess hall. Everypony went to bed and thought nothing of it. Fifteen minutes later, Celestia ventured out of her room. It was nearly time to raise the sun, and she was always insistent that the sun had to come up at just the right time. She thought nothing of it, but suddenly froze. There was a chicken in the hallway. Celestia screamed, cast a gravity reversal spell and jumped onto the ceiling in order to escape the bird. "Hello, beast," she attempted to say in a menacing voice. "You have returned for me, haven't you? Well I am not going to give up so easily." The chicken looked up at her and clucked. She squealed and flinched. "Evil little beast. Go away or I'll... I'll... or else." The chicken attempted to peck affectionately at her mane. She curled up on the ceiling covering her whole body, her mane and her tail with her enormous wings. "No, little birdie, please, I am a good filly! No pecking me! No eating the ponies!" She whimpered to herself until she heard the hoofsteps of the guards stampeding towards her. "What is wrong, Princess?" asked a guard. "Please, just remove the bird." "You mean the chi-" "Don't say its name." "Um, ok, Princess." A unicorn guard picked it up using magic. It protested wildly. "Now, please, take it to somepony who is experienced with wild birds. I cannot risk anypony getting hurt by this foulest of creatures." "Yes, Princess." He inspected the chicken closely. "It has a number on it." Celestia, who was about to undo the gravity reversal spell, stared at him. "What number?" "Three." "No. Oh no." She inhaled deeply a few times, attempting to compose herself. "There must be more. There must be at least two more you know whats in the castle. I need them all gone before I can even think about my royal duties. One of you, please find my sister. She can raise the sun without me. She will also need a strong cup of coffee if she is to take over day court for an hour whilst everypony looks for the offending beasties." "Yes, Princess." The group of guards left and went looking for Luna. "Sister, please get here soon," Celestia whispered, changing the gravity spell so she could stand on the floor again. She ran into her room, locked the door and cast a golden shield around herself, should a chicken be hiding in the room with her. "Oh, Tia." Luna called from outside. "Sister, they're back to get me. The - the - the cockatrices!" "Sister, the birds are not the problem. The bat ponies, on the other hand, have taken advantage of your phobia, and there is nothing that we can do to punish them since they caught two other intruders in the castle." "Bird intruders?" Luna facehoofed. "Technically, yes and no. An earth pony and a griffon were sneaking around the castle last night, and the guards caught them with their saddlebags full of bits and valuable items. I even gave them a slight increase in pay for doing their job so well, since there are many more Solar Guards than there are of them, and the Solar Guards couldn't even recognise the difference between Queen Chrysalis and a fly." "Don't insult my guards." "They're useless, but I'll stop now. Anyways, the guards of yours have declared the throne room free of chickens, so day court can begin now." "If they think so." "Celestia, stay strong. It is for your country." Celestia got up. A new sense of courage burned inside her. "You're right. I am Princess Celestia, and I refuse to let the evil cockatrices ruin my day. I am the Princess of the Sun, and they are bound by the dawn that I bring them each morning and my rules!" She teleported to the throne room and the court hearings began. Meanwhile, Luna and the guards ran around the castle grounds, attempting to find the chickens before Celestia saw them. Luna found the number 10, and sighed because she knew that there had to be ten in total. The number 8 was running around near the statue of Discord, and she smiled affectionately at the spirit of disharmony as she captured the bird. She thought to herself, This is why I have refused to let you out of your statue, Discord. If I let it happen, there would be something like this happening every week. It took about an hour to find all nine chickens. Of course, nopony but the sleeping bat ponies knew the truth. The entire castle was on edge. The worst thing was that none of them could let Celestia know, otherwise she would go into a panic and call a nationwide emergency. Perhaps that would have been a good idea. It was late in the evening when Celestia and Luna ventured outside to bring the night. Celestia asked her younger sister how the chicken-hunting went. "Fine. I am certain that we have them all." "Well that's-" Celestia did not finish her sentence. Her eyes grew wide as the grey marble travelled from her hooves up to her torso and swallowed her. Luna chanced a peek and the same happened to her as well. Her face was frozen in disgust. Velvet Wings chuckled, "Vot happened here, Henrietta?" The cockatrice stood by his side clucked with laughter. Author's Note Sorry for not updating this in a while. I've been brainstorming and coming up with ideas for my main project at the moment, Sombra's Bat. Also, I have a weird Sci-Twi / Midnight Sparkle idea in mind. Talking of Sci-Twi, she told me that alektorophobia is the scientific name for a fear or phobia of hens and/or chickens in general. Time to hand out the credit! Thanks to Samurai_Arashi, creator of the OC called Storm Bringer and the one who suggested this idea in the first place. You are brilliant for suggesting this. Also, thanks to JimmyHook19 for creating the female bat pony OC of yourself. You also helped a bit with the editing process, which I am thankful for. Some Bat Guards Sit On The Ceiling For Their ShiftLuna walked down the dark corridors, using the light of her horn to guide her. She nodded to the bat pony guards that she passed on the way to her chambers, where she would stay while she dreamwalked. She entered the hallway that led to her bedroom, and saw a shape hanging from the ceiling. The magical aura around her horn brightened and she came face-to-face with Echo, the very same bat pony who had told her that eating hundreds of carrots would improve her vision in the dark. "Eek!" Echo squealed, her purple wings furling around her head to block out the bright light. "Ah you little wretch!" Luna shouted. "Princess Luna, can you please turn out that light?" A bat pony stallion asked politely. Luna looked down the hallway. Every bat pony in sight was sat on the ceiling. She lowered the amount of light that her horn was emitting, and her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why in Tartarus are you all sat on the ceiling?" She questioned. "It's rather conspicuous, after your previous joke." "Huh? Velvet Wings, are we sat on the ceiling?" Echo asked the stallion. "I don't think so. Zis is ze floor. I has not had cider in weeks, so I know zat I am not drunk." "Then why is Princess Luna upside down?" Luna glared at Echo. "What do you mean I am upside down? You are the ponies sat on the ceiling!" she said indignantly. "Your majesty, if all of us are on the ceiling, and you are stood on the floor, how do you know that you aren't the one who's stood on the ceiling and we're not sat on the floor?" Another bat pony asked slowly. Luna thought. "All of the other bat ponies in the other corridors are on the ground, the same as I am," she announced triumphantly. "That's the answer: I know it is!" "Well, for all we know, a gravity-reversal spell could have been cast, meaning we walked in the right way, then the hallway was flipped upside down so that you ended up walking on the ceiling but it felt like the ground." Luna began to worry. Had she cast a spell without meaning to? Was there an intruder in the castle? She muttered, "No, it's impossible," then shouted, "No! I refuse to believe it! You bat ponies have been playing too many jokes. I will cut your pay if you are not careful!" She stormed down the corridor and walked straight into the door of her bedroom. Embarrassed, she opened the door with her magic and it slammed behind her. "Ok, bats," Echo whispered. "We need to be more careful, the princess says. That means that we can still play our jokes on whoever we like, but we MUST NOT be caught. Understood?" The other bat ponies chuckled, and began to plan their next prank.
Princess Luna's Carrot Rampage"Humph," Luna sighed sadly as she sat on one of Canterlot Castle's balconies. "Why am I the Princess of the Night if I hae trouble seeing in the dark? Celestia can see very far during her day, so why can't I see in the night?" "Eeeeeeeee? Is that yeeee, Preeencess Luna?" A bat pony mare asked, talking and echolocating at the same time. "Yes, I am Princess Luna. If I am correct, you are Echo." The mare stopped echolocating and flew into Luna's field of vision. "Yes indeed," Echo told the princess. "I heard you talking about your night vision, and I have a proposal." "Oh?" "Us bat ponies have slitted eyes, but there is another trick that we use to see in the dark. It involves eating the root of a magical plant, using our incredibly strong molars tucked in the back of our little mouths. So many ponies have no idea that we have molars." Echo pointed at her mouth when she said this. Luna could not stop herself. "Faithful subject, please tell me the name of said magical plant, so that I may harvest it and crunch on its roots." Echo grinned, showing off her small fangs. "The root that you so desire is the carrot. If eaten in large quantities it will grant you the power to see in the dark. For a pony of your height and magical abilities, fifty a day for a fortnight should be more than sufficient." "Then I shall order my subjects to deliver fifty carrots to my private dining room every day for two weeks!" Luna shouted before teleporting away. A bat pony stallion wearing armour walked out onto the balcony and asked, "Did the princess take the bait?" "Yes, Shadow. Princess Luna has..." "Yes, Raven Inkwell, I do so wish to have fifty carrots delivered to my private dining room every day for two weeks," Luna bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. The two bat ponies had to cover their tufted ears to avoid deafness. "Now send word at once: I expect the first fifty to arrive before noon tomorrow." Echo and Shadow burst into laughter. The very next day, fourteen carrot farms within fifty miles of Canterlot teamed up to fill Princess Luna's huge order. Of course, it wasn't as easy as giving Princess Luna the carrots all in one go, because they would go off. Also, the carrots had to be checked for quality, as Luna would be furious if she ended up with substandard carrots. The news that the prank had worked spread like wildfire among the bat ponies. The joke was based on an old tale they were told as foals, that they would only be able to see in the dark when they were adults if they ate their carrots. Nopony knew when the traditional tale was made up, but it worked well with young colts and fillies, and it worked on unknowing alicorns too. None of the bat ponies told the Solar Guards, because they were bound to tell Princess Celestia, and she would probably tell Princess Luna. It was quite a shock for the bat ponies, then, when Princess Celestia stormed into the Lunar Guard Barrack's mess hall in the evening a few days later and demanded, "Who here has played a trick on my sister?" None of the bat ponies answered or moved. "I shall hold all of you accountable until you tell me who came up with this idea and carried out the prank on my sister." On that note, Echo and Shadow were shoved forwards by the ponies around them. Both wore solemn faces and mumbled, "We are terribly sorry, Princess Celestia, and ask for your pardon." Celestia beamed like her fiery sun. "There is no need to pardon anypony. This is far better than any practical joke that I could pull on her! How on this planet did you do it?" Echo and Shadow shared a look. They could feel the stares of the other bat ponies. Echo said, "Shadow came up with the idea," giving him a nod. "Well," he began, "when bat pony foals refuse to eat their vegetables, we tell them that eating them will help them see better in the dark when they grow up. We all know that Princess Luna wants night vision like ours. I just wondered aloud if she would believe us if we told her the same story, that eating large amounts of carrots will improve her vision in the dark. Everypony voted for Echo here to tell Princess Luna, and your sister appears to have believed us." Celestia thought for a moment. "When her night vision does not improve, tell her that it may not work because she is technically a different type of pony to you lot. Echo and Shadow, I am giving you both a pay rise of ten percent. Collect your payday cheques tomorrow in the evening, just before day court is finished." The princess teleported out of the mess hall with a loud pop. There was silence in the room for about a minute. Then, one of the older bat ponies yelled from the back of the hall, "I shall buy a few barrels of Sweet Apple Acres' cider so zat we can toast ze two master pranksters!" A cheer was sent around the hall and the bat ponies prepared for a special feast on the final day of Princess Luna's carrot rampage. On the final evening, Echo and Shadow were part of the first night shift. They knew that they would likely face the wrath of the princess that they served. Sure enough, Luna teleported to them straight after moonrise and snarled, "Why can I barely see you, even though I have eaten the full seven hundred carrots over the two week period that you told me would be more than enough?!" "Maybe it didn't work," Echo said and shrugged. "I mean, bat ponies and pegasi have evolved into completely different species of pony. Just as earth ponies can't fly and only unicorns can cast spells, maybe only bat ponies are affected by the magical carrot." Luna furrowed her brow, turning to glare at Shadow as he began to laugh. His giggles died. "You are both fired. If you wish to have your jobs back, you can appeal to my sister in the morning." The furious alicorn stormed off just as their shift ended and two other bat ponies approached them. One whispered, "Get to the mess hall before Velvet Wings drinks all the cider." At that, Echo and Shadow flew to the barracks as fast as the Wonderbolts. If they were much faster, there would have been a Sonic Rainboom, and they would have had to pay for all of the windows in the castle replaced. However, they had been promised a share in the cider, and they also had to catch up with Princess Celestia to get their jobs back before they were kicked out of the barracks. As they walked into the mess hall, loud cheering erupted. It was probably loud enough to wake some of the Solar Guard in the next barrack, but nopony cared. Sure enough, Princess Celestia was there. She approached them and asked, "How did it go with Moonbutt?" "She fired us, Princess," Echo said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head with one hoof. "She told us to ask you for our jobs back or we would have to leave the barracks tomorrow." "You can have your jobs back, since the practical joke you pulled was so elaborate. However, next time you prank my sister, do it on a smaller scale: the farmers have been having a go at me for allowing her to order all of those carrots with such short notice." She chuckled and levitated a cup of cider to each of them. There was a knock on the door and everypony fell silent. "TIA! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" Luna shouted. Celestia said calmly, "It was a prank, Lulu. I played no part in it, but it was a beautiful prank. I have warned the guards not to do it again, but have reinstated their roles as royal guards. I am going to bed, but ask you not to have a go at them. Instead, enjoy some cider." She teleported away, leaving the bat ponies to their fate. Luna's wails of fury could be heard in Manehattan.
Velvet Wings' Unfortunate MondayPART 1 Velvet Wings had the early Monday morning shift every week. After a weekend of relaxing, Princess Celestia usually needed a good cup of coffee to kickstart her day. The final part of his shift entailed making her coffee just right. The consequences would be amazing if he got it right, and disastrous if he got it wrong, which is why he was suspicious when he looked at the two jars of coffee - one extra strong for Luna, and decaf for Celestia - in the cupboard on one such Monday morning. The labels were peeling off. "Hmm," he grunted. "Zere is a problem with ze coffee labels, Princess Celestia." "To Tartarus with the coffee labels, Velvet Wings! I need my coffee!" Reluctantly, he grabbed the decaf jar and set it on the counter next to him. He levitated a teaspoon and it dipped into the coffee granules, lifting a few. They landed softly in a mug with Celestia's cutie mark on it. Next, he took the mug over to the sink and poured some water into it. His magic heated it to boiling point within seconds. A drip of sweat ran down the side of his head as he levitated the coffee over to Princess Celestia, who added the milk herself. She always insisted that only she knew how much milk to add to her coffee. He left the room and could just about hear her taking a sip. He sighed with relief. He had escaped this time... "VELVET WINGS!" Celestia roared. "This coffee is far too strong! Did you use the decaf or the extra strength coffee?" "I, uh, used ze decaf, Princess. Ze labels looked like zey had been tampered with, but I wasn't sure..." He heard snickering from another bat pony stallion, and sighed. He said, "Princess, it's ze other bats. Zey changed the labels. I'll make you another cup and switch ze labels back." He dragged the laughing stallion into the kitchen breakfast room, left him to his fate, and made Celestia a second cup so that it would be just right. And, to prevent any future incidents, when he switched the labels he used a sticking spell to make sure that they could never be taken off. However, he was sure that the other bats would soon be cooking up another joke. He grinned maniacally. Maybe he should cook up the revenge first... [page-break] PART 2 Velvet Wings slept well during the day, and woke early in the evening. He wrote out an invitation, teleported to the corridor where Luna's bedroom was and slipped it under her door. He teleported back to the Lunar Guard Barracks and silently trotted into the kitchen. He had a big evil plan that would more than make up for the trouble he had faced with Celestia. It was even better that he could also prank Luna at the same time. In the kitchen, he found just what he needed: the carbonated water that the bats enjoyed from time to time; and some spices. Bat ponies tended to only like small amounts of spice, which is exactly why he poured plenty of it into the stew that they were going to be eating that night. He wrote out a note for the kitchen staff. Princess Luna will be visiting tonight. I hear that carbonated water is one of her favourite beverages, so tonight is the perfect time to finish it off. No need to thank me, Velvet Wings. He headed to his post for the evening, and waited. Princess Luna received the invitation, and read it. Dear Princess Luna, I am inviting you to have a meal with us in the Lunar Guard Barracks at midnight tonight. Yours sincerely, Velvet Wings. Her eyes narrowed as she reread it. Was it a setup? It was bound to be. Still, she hadn't had much fun in a while, so she decided that she would go. First, though, she would talk to Velvet Wings to gauge how bad the setup was. She teleported, and Velvet greeted her. "Good evenings, Princess Luna. Hows are you on zis fine evening?" "Fine, thank you. I am a little curious about the invitation I received from you, Velvet Wings. I am inclined to go and have an enjoyable meal with the other bat ponies, but... I feel that there is something else going on." A trickle of sweat ran down his forehead, and he said nothing. Luna continued, "Am I in the firing line?" He whispered, "Zat depends. You like fizzy water? Carbonated? And spicy stew?" "Ooh, I do actually like both of those. I'll eat anything spicy, but Celestia ironically has a low tolerance of it. Carbonated water turns the stars in my mane into bubbles, which should make the bats laugh after they finish cursing each other. Clever thinking." He sighed in relief. He wouldn't be playing a joke on Luna, but the other bat ponies would be at least surprised by the "cook's" antics. "Thanks, Princess. Zis will be so funny tonights." "I agree." Velvet Wings had the perfect excuse why not to eat the stew, so when one of the kitchen staff asked, "Do you not like the stew?" he barely flinched. "I had stomach problems last time I had stew, so I'll have a mango instead," he answered, flying into the kitchen to find one. Once he did, he walked back into the mess hall, just as Princess Luna entered and took her seat. He sat next to her. Everypony except Velvet had a large mouthful of the stew. Princess Luna swallowed it with ease and said, "Mmm, good," while the bat ponies breathed jets of fire into the air. Velvet Wings and Luna could not help but laugh, which earned them some angry stares. After everypony had had some carbonated water and Luna's mane was full of bubbles, Velvet stood on a table and bowed. "Yes, it is I who put ze spice in ze stew," he giggled. "Zis is payback for somepony switching ze labels of ze coffee in ze royal kitchens. Now, who did it?" All of the bat ponies shrugged and furrowed their brows, while Princess Luna whistled and looked away. "ARGH! PRINCESS! YOU HAS NO IDEAS HOW ANGRY YOUR SISTER WAS!!" he roared at her. "YOU IS EVIL! NIGHTMARE MOON IN DISGUISE!" He chased her out of the barracks, and she did not return. It's no wonder, really, that she stood on a whoopee cushion outside her bedroom a week later. Author's Note Overused cliché number 1: I'm sorry! I couldn't not use the Princess Coffee cliché! Overused cliché number 2: spices. I've seen this used in MLP fanfiction at least 3 times, but it's more of a day-to-day happening in this world. Overused cliché number 3: whoopee cushion! Why not? There may or may not be more of these soon, depending on demand. The carbonated water was Samurai_Arashi's idea.
Whoopee!Spoiled Rich had always disliked the Royal Sisters, especially Princess Luna. She was so mysterious, so strange, so unnatural. She had tried to bring eternal night twice, which was enough to make her terrified of the mare. Her guards... Well, they were just as strange. How did bat ponies even exist? Their leathery wings, their tufted ears, those glowing eyes, they made Spoiled Rich shiver with fear. Still, she had to go to court and help her husband get a court date so they could Sue the Apples. They were behind with their rent. Again. Even those two stupid unicorns Flim and Flam could pay the rent on time if they lived at the orchard. "Darling, we're ready," Filthy Rich said to his beloved wife. The Princesses had just lowered the sun and raised the moon together. It was time to see the wretched Princess of the Night. He led her through the castle to the throne room. Princess Luna was perched on her throne like a bird on a branch: leaning forward, wings spread, ready to take off at a moment's notice. She clearly expected trouble. It troubled Spoiled Rich. "Good evening, Mr and Mrs Rich," the princess greeted them. "Would you care to take a seat?" she asked, looking momentarily at the table and chairs that had been set up for the night's court meetings. Spoiled Rich pulled a chair across and leapt onto it. A loud sound like a group of foals blowing raspberries followed. Princess Luna kept the corners of her mouth from tilting upwards; the bat ponies, however, burst into raucous laughter. Spoiled stood up, and saw the edge of a red whoopee cushion sticking out from under the existing cushion. She glared at Princess Luna. "What is this lunacy?!" she shrieked. "Please do not use such blasphemy in front of me. I believe that you have been conned at the hand of the Lunar Guard. The bat ponies like playing little jokes. However, they are such good guards at night that I cannot get rid of them. Do not worry. I told them that if they played another of their jokes on a civilian their pay would be cut, so this terrible deed will not go unpunished. Please continue." Spoiled Rich stomped out of the throne room, muttering obscenities to herself. The rest of the evening court sessions were rather quiet in comparison. Author's Note Yes, I used the whoopee cushion again, courtesy of the user Samurai-Arashi. Please start sending me evil pranks in the comments again. I need more ideas.
The Crack In The Floor"Mares and gentlecolts, we has a problem," Velvet Wings announced to the bat ponies that had gathered in the mess hall for "breakfast." "We has not pranked anyponys in weeks, and our reputatation is being lost. We mustn't let zat happens!" "Do we need to continue with these jokes, Velvet?" Midnght Blossom asked. She was a no nonsense mare with a lot of attitude. She saw no point in the other bats' jokes. "Of course we do!" he shouted. Murmurs of assent spread around the room. "Look, last time you did something, we all had a pay cut of fifteen percent. You pranked a civilian." "But Princess Celestia gave us an increase of double zat afterwards for ze good performance. Plus, we like Princess Twilight and her friends, and ze civilian wanted to evict one of ze Princess's friends." "I am wasting my breath," Midnight grumbled. "Continue if you so wish. Let's see who's laughing when we find out who gets the Lunar Guard of the Year promotion." She waltzed out of the mess hall. Those last words silenced the room and gave many of the guards a severe wake-up call. Each year, not long before Hearth's Warming Day, an awards ceremony was held for all of the castle staff. Not just the guards and servants, but also the royal advisors, the event planners and a whole host of other ponies. It was three months away, but still, the Solar and Lunar Guards of the Year received a very shiny plaque and a lot of bits. To win one of these awards was a huge honour, but Midnight was always a candidate for it, and winning against her was almost impossible. "Rights. We has a bigger problem: making sure zat somebat other than Midnight Blossom is ze Lunar Guard of ze Year." "How?" a bat mare asked. "She never does any pranks, unlike us." "I has two ideas. One is to frame her and claim that she has played lots of jokes. Ze second is to," he gulped, "scale ze pranks down a bit." Gasps and angry muttering were spread through the mess hall. "I have an idea," Echo said over the noise. Everypony fell silent again. "It's a small scale joke, but it will work well and we can keep it going for ages." "Explain," Velvet Wings ordered her. "Can anypony here remember being afraid of stepping on cracks in the floor as a foal, because they thought they would fall through?" she asked aloud. She grinned menacingly, enhancing her look by showing off two inches of fang. Almost everypony held a front hoof in the air. "I have an idea that involves several metres of cellotape and all of the guards who have the sunset shift in the throne room. Who's on the first night shift with me?" Most ponies put their hooves down, but about ten didn't. "Ok. The plan is to stick a line of tape on the throne room floor while the Princesses are sorting out the sun and moon, and make sure that [i]nopony steps on it." Echo finished laying the line of cellotape across the throne room floor. "There we are," she sighed happily. "How is zis a mastermind prank?" Velvet Wings dubiously asked. "We can see this at any time of the day or night, but ordinary ponies can't spot it. What us bats must do is avoid stepping on this cellotape, and convince other ponies not to. Now, let's get to our posts because the moon has almost risen completely. Princess Luna will be here soon." They walked to their posts and stood on either side of the barely visible line of tape. It was so thick that a foal would have to jump to cross it, and an adult pony would have difficulty in stepping over it. They decided that they would not bother older ponies (excluding alicorns) about it. Princess Luna entered the throne room and crossed the room. When she reached the line, Echo squealed, "Don't step there!" as if a viper was hidden under the carpet. "Dear Echo, what is wrong?" Princess Luna asked, concern in her voice. "There's a crack in the floor," she whispered. "Pardon?" "There's a crack in the floor. If you step on it, you will fall through!" Luna furrowed her brow in concentration. "You say that there is a crack in the floor of this throne room large enough for a pony to fall through?!" "It's not really a crack... It is a hole that stretches across the room, from one wall to the other. It opens here at night, and closes at dawn. I noticed it yesterday. It leads to a white room, just like they say Limbo is supposed to look." "Hmm, I shall have to have somepony look at it in the morning." She flew over the "gap," then walked over to her throne. Her horn's blue aura filled the room for a moment before a glowing blue rope materialised on either side of the line of tape. There were two visitors in evening court that night. One of them was Filthy Rich again, hoping to file a complaint against two businessmen who had apparently sold him a fake jewel. Since his concerns were actually valid this time, Princess Luna said that she would be in contact with the two brothers. The other visitor was there to book an appointment to see Princess Celestia, since he claimed he was unable to see her earlier in the day. All in all, nothing much happened, although their perplexed reactions to the roped off area provided some entertainment to the bat ponies. The next morning, Princess Celestia came into the throne room before sunrise at her sister's request to investigate the "crack" in the throne room floor. She stepped across a section of rope and onto the floor. When she had all four hooves on the marked area of ground, she examined the floor closer with the light of her horn. She only just noticed the glint ot the tape. "Do not fret, Luna, it was the bat ponies again, cooking up their silly jokes," she explained. "This one was actually minor, even though it meant I had to get out of bed an hour early. To be fair, though, I was having trouble sleeping anyway." "Do you need me to help out with the first court session whilst you sleep, sister?" Luna asked. "There is no need; a strong brew of tea shall be fine. As long as those bats don't add ghost peppers to it." A few bat ponies in the room sniggered. "You bat ponies and your jokes," she sighed as she and Luna left the room to raise the sun. As if being a ruler of Equestria could not be any harder. Author's Note Credits and apologies to cucharrador, who told me this idea. I totally forgot there, with so many prank and OC requests in my notifications and private messages. Which leads me to my next point: if I use your idea and forget to credit you, give me a reminder and I'll fix it right away. It seems that this story is attracting a lot of attention and I might not be able to use everyone's ideas and OCs due to high demand. Writing this brought back a few memories. I remember when I was little, I was scared to step on cracks in the pavement in case I fell through. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Don't Be Such A ChickenThe horde of sleepy bat ponies in the mess hall let out yawns as the roosters crowed outside, their strange calls echoing across the land. The sun was creeping above the horizon, and the bats were exhausted. They had all been forced to run around the castle, believing that there had been an intruder, when it turned out to be a hugely oversized rat. Nopony had admitted to casting a spell on it. Storm Bringer, a light grey bat pony with a golden mane and wings, gazed out of the window, listening to the roosters. He was unusual, even in the bat community: he had been born a normal pegasus, but was transformed into a bat pony by Nightmare Moon when she returned from her extended stay on the moon. Most bat ponies had a dark mane, tail and wings, so his gold and white patterns made him stand out. He also loved ghost peppers. "Hey, wake up Hook. Did you know that Princess Celestia has alektorophobia?" he asked his companion, a red-maned mare with a jet black coat. The mare jolted and looked around, startled. "What? You sure you're still awake? You just said that the Princess of the Sun is scared of chickens and you called me Hook. You know I don't like that." "Sorry, Jimmy Hook, oddly named bat mare specialising in transformation magic," Storm replied, earning an angry glare from her. "And yes, she's terrified of chickens and cockatrices alike. Apparently, Midnight Blossom's great-great-great-great-grandfather hid a cockatrice in her bedroom and she's had a phobia ever since." He grabbed a ghost pepper off of his dinner plate and greedily ate it whole, ignoring the stares that were thrown his way. "Wow. It seems she never inherited the prankster gene." "Prankster," Storm said to himself. The wheels in his mind began to turn, and rather than counting sheep, he began counting chickens as he slowly nodded off. Everything began to blur together in his head, and he suddenly woke and shouted "EURIKA!" Everything stopped, and all eyes turned to him. Rather than shying away, he stood up on his chair and told everypony, "I have just thought of a wonderful prank to play. I need a volunteer who isn't taking the evening shift tonight to find nine chickens and label them one to ten, obviously missing out a number. Get some sort of paint that won't harm their skin or feathers, so you can write a number on each one. Then, in the morning, we release them and let them do whatever they fancy." "Um, who is this joke being played on?" Midnight Blossom demanded. "I have half a mind to warn them." "The Princesses and the Solar Guards. Mainly Princess Celestia, although Princess Luna's sleep schedule will be affected by this. You have your great-great-great-great-grandfather to thank for this." Midnight's tufted ears grew bright red, and she did not say anything. "Who volunteers to find some chickens and some paint?" "I do!" Echo screeched, leaping into the air and hovering above everypony else. "Storm, Jimmy, I won't let you down. Nine chickens by midnight, labelled and released in the castle by dawn." She then yawned and said, "But right now I need a nap." She started the procession of bat ponies heading to their dormitories, and they all dreamt of what Celestia's face would look like when she discovered that there were chickens running loose in her glorious palace. The next morning, the bat ponies were wide awake despite having been on guard duty all night. Echo had nine chickens, labelled one to ten, with the number 6 missing. She told everypony that she found them in the Everfree Forest, but nopony could ever be sure due to her mischievous nature. "Nine chickens, labelled and ready to run wild," she announced in the mess hall upon her return. "I'll release them," Storm Bringer told her, taking the nine pet carriers with his magic and teleporting away. He teleported to the Royal Sisters' private dining room, and let one chicken go. He left another outside Celestia's bedroom. Then three in the throne room, where some bat ponies were still on guard duty. They were giddy with anticipation. Two more were left in the Solar Guard Barracks. Another was placed in the Garden of Statues. The final one was strategically placed in the Solar Guard Barracks when nopony was looking, to prove to Celestia that it definitely had nothing to do with the Lunar Guards. Storm laughed to himself as he let the chicken run free, then teleported back to the mess hall. Everypony went to bed and thought nothing of it. Fifteen minutes later, Celestia ventured out of her room. It was nearly time to raise the sun, and she was always insistent that the sun had to come up at just the right time. She thought nothing of it, but suddenly froze. There was a chicken in the hallway. Celestia screamed, cast a gravity reversal spell and jumped onto the ceiling in order to escape the bird. "Hello, beast," she attempted to say in a menacing voice. "You have returned for me, haven't you? Well I am not going to give up so easily." The chicken looked up at her and clucked. She squealed and flinched. "Evil little beast. Go away or I'll... I'll... or else." The chicken attempted to peck affectionately at her mane. She curled up on the ceiling covering her whole body, her mane and her tail with her enormous wings. "No, little birdie, please, I am a good filly! No pecking me! No eating the ponies!" She whimpered to herself until she heard the hoofsteps of the guards stampeding towards her. "What is wrong, Princess?" asked a guard. "Please, just remove the bird." "You mean the chi-" "Don't say its name." "Um, ok, Princess." A unicorn guard picked it up using magic. It protested wildly. "Now, please, take it to somepony who is experienced with wild birds. I cannot risk anypony getting hurt by this foulest of creatures." "Yes, Princess." He inspected the chicken closely. "It has a number on it." Celestia, who was about to undo the gravity reversal spell, stared at him. "What number?" "Three." "No. Oh no." She inhaled deeply a few times, attempting to compose herself. "There must be more. There must be at least two more you know whats in the castle. I need them all gone before I can even think about my royal duties. One of you, please find my sister. She can raise the sun without me. She will also need a strong cup of coffee if she is to take over day court for an hour whilst everypony looks for the offending beasties." "Yes, Princess." The group of guards left and went looking for Luna. "Sister, please get here soon," Celestia whispered, changing the gravity spell so she could stand on the floor again. She ran into her room, locked the door and cast a golden shield around herself, should a chicken be hiding in the room with her. "Oh, Tia." Luna called from outside. "Sister, they're back to get me. The - the - the cockatrices!" "Sister, the birds are not the problem. The bat ponies, on the other hand, have taken advantage of your phobia, and there is nothing that we can do to punish them since they caught two other intruders in the castle." "Bird intruders?" Luna facehoofed. "Technically, yes and no. An earth pony and a griffon were sneaking around the castle last night, and the guards caught them with their saddlebags full of bits and valuable items. I even gave them a slight increase in pay for doing their job so well, since there are many more Solar Guards than there are of them, and the Solar Guards couldn't even recognise the difference between Queen Chrysalis and a fly." "Don't insult my guards." "They're useless, but I'll stop now. Anyways, the guards of yours have declared the throne room free of chickens, so day court can begin now." "If they think so." "Celestia, stay strong. It is for your country." Celestia got up. A new sense of courage burned inside her. "You're right. I am Princess Celestia, and I refuse to let the evil cockatrices ruin my day. I am the Princess of the Sun, and they are bound by the dawn that I bring them each morning and my rules!" She teleported to the throne room and the court hearings began. Meanwhile, Luna and the guards ran around the castle grounds, attempting to find the chickens before Celestia saw them. Luna found the number 10, and sighed because she knew that there had to be ten in total. The number 8 was running around near the statue of Discord, and she smiled affectionately at the spirit of disharmony as she captured the bird. She thought to herself, This is why I have refused to let you out of your statue, Discord. If I let it happen, there would be something like this happening every week. It took about an hour to find all nine chickens. Of course, nopony but the sleeping bat ponies knew the truth. The entire castle was on edge. The worst thing was that none of them could let Celestia know, otherwise she would go into a panic and call a nationwide emergency. Perhaps that would have been a good idea. It was late in the evening when Celestia and Luna ventured outside to bring the night. Celestia asked her younger sister how the chicken-hunting went. "Fine. I am certain that we have them all." "Well that's-" Celestia did not finish her sentence. Her eyes grew wide as the grey marble travelled from her hooves up to her torso and swallowed her. Luna chanced a peek and the same happened to her as well. Her face was frozen in disgust. Velvet Wings chuckled, "Vot happened here, Henrietta?" The cockatrice stood by his side clucked with laughter. Author's Note Sorry for not updating this in a while. I've been brainstorming and coming up with ideas for my main project at the moment, Sombra's Bat. Also, I have a weird Sci-Twi / Midnight Sparkle idea in mind. Talking of Sci-Twi, she told me that alektorophobia is the scientific name for a fear or phobia of hens and/or chickens in general. Time to hand out the credit! Thanks to Samurai_Arashi, creator of the OC called Storm Bringer and the one who suggested this idea in the first place. You are brilliant for suggesting this. Also, thanks to JimmyHook19 for creating the female bat pony OC of yourself. You also helped a bit with the editing process, which I am thankful for.
Some Bat Guards Sit On The Ceiling For Their ShiftLuna walked down the dark corridors, using the light of her horn to guide her. She nodded to the bat pony guards that she passed on the way to her chambers, where she would stay while she dreamwalked. She entered the hallway that led to her bedroom, and saw a shape hanging from the ceiling. The magical aura around her horn brightened and she came face-to-face with Echo, the very same bat pony who had told her that eating hundreds of carrots would improve her vision in the dark. "Eek!" Echo squealed, her purple wings furling around her head to block out the bright light. "Ah you little wretch!" Luna shouted. "Princess Luna, can you please turn out that light?" A bat pony stallion asked politely. Luna looked down the hallway. Every bat pony in sight was sat on the ceiling. She lowered the amount of light that her horn was emitting, and her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why in Tartarus are you all sat on the ceiling?" She questioned. "It's rather conspicuous, after your previous joke." "Huh? Velvet Wings, are we sat on the ceiling?" Echo asked the stallion. "I don't think so. Zis is ze floor. I has not had cider in weeks, so I know zat I am not drunk." "Then why is Princess Luna upside down?" Luna glared at Echo. "What do you mean I am upside down? You are the ponies sat on the ceiling!" she said indignantly. "Your majesty, if all of us are on the ceiling, and you are stood on the floor, how do you know that you aren't the one who's stood on the ceiling and we're not sat on the floor?" Another bat pony asked slowly. Luna thought. "All of the other bat ponies in the other corridors are on the ground, the same as I am," she announced triumphantly. "That's the answer: I know it is!" "Well, for all we know, a gravity-reversal spell could have been cast, meaning we walked in the right way, then the hallway was flipped upside down so that you ended up walking on the ceiling but it felt like the ground." Luna began to worry. Had she cast a spell without meaning to? Was there an intruder in the castle? She muttered, "No, it's impossible," then shouted, "No! I refuse to believe it! You bat ponies have been playing too many jokes. I will cut your pay if you are not careful!" She stormed down the corridor and walked straight into the door of her bedroom. Embarrassed, she opened the door with her magic and it slammed behind her. "Ok, bats," Echo whispered. "We need to be more careful, the princess says. That means that we can still play our jokes on whoever we like, but we MUST NOT be caught. Understood?" The other bat ponies chuckled, and began to plan their next prank.
