PART 1

Velvet Wings had the early Monday morning shift every week. After a weekend of relaxing, Princess Celestia usually needed a good cup of coffee to kickstart her day. The final part of his shift entailed making her coffee just right. The consequences would be amazing if he got it right, and disastrous if he got it wrong, which is why he was suspicious when he looked at the two jars of coffee - one extra strong for Luna, and decaf for Celestia - in the cupboard on one such Monday morning.

The labels were peeling off.

"Hmm," he grunted. "Zere is a problem with ze coffee labels, Princess Celestia."

"To Tartarus with the coffee labels, Velvet Wings! I need my coffee!"

Reluctantly, he grabbed the decaf jar and set it on the counter next to him. He levitated a teaspoon and it dipped into the coffee granules, lifting a few. They landed softly in a mug with Celestia's cutie mark on it.

Next, he took the mug over to the sink and poured some water into it. His magic heated it to boiling point within seconds. A drip of sweat ran down the side of his head as he levitated the coffee over to Princess Celestia, who added the milk herself. She always insisted that only she knew how much milk to add to her coffee.

He left the room and could just about hear her taking a sip. He sighed with relief. He had escaped this time...

"VELVET WINGS!" Celestia roared. "This coffee is far too strong! Did you use the decaf or the extra strength coffee?"

"I, uh, used ze decaf, Princess. Ze labels looked like zey had been tampered with, but I wasn't sure..."

He heard snickering from another bat pony stallion, and sighed. He said, "Princess, it's ze other bats. Zey changed the labels. I'll make you another cup and switch ze labels back." He dragged the laughing stallion into the kitchen breakfast room, left him to his fate, and made Celestia a second cup so that it would be just right. And, to prevent any future incidents, when he switched the labels he used a sticking spell to make sure that they could never be taken off. However, he was sure that the other bats would soon be cooking up another joke.

He grinned maniacally. Maybe he should cook up the revenge first...

[page-break]

PART 2

Velvet Wings slept well during the day, and woke early in the evening. He wrote out an invitation, teleported to the corridor where Luna's bedroom was and slipped it under her door. He teleported back to the Lunar Guard Barracks and silently trotted into the kitchen. He had a big evil plan that would more than make up for the trouble he had faced with Celestia. It was even better that he could also prank Luna at the same time.

In the kitchen, he found just what he needed: the carbonated water that the bats enjoyed from time to time; and some spices. Bat ponies tended to only like small amounts of spice, which is exactly why he poured plenty of it into the stew that they were going to be eating that night. He wrote out a note for the kitchen staff.

Princess Luna will be visiting tonight. I hear that carbonated water is one of her favourite beverages, so tonight is the perfect time to finish it off.

No need to thank me,
Velvet Wings.

He headed to his post for the evening, and waited.

Princess Luna received the invitation, and read it.

Dear Princess Luna, I am inviting you to have a meal with us in the Lunar Guard Barracks at midnight tonight. Yours sincerely, Velvet Wings.

Her eyes narrowed as she reread it. Was it a setup? It was bound to be. Still, she hadn't had much fun in a while, so she decided that she would go. First, though, she would talk to Velvet Wings to gauge how bad the setup was.

She teleported, and Velvet greeted her. "Good evenings, Princess Luna. Hows are you on zis fine evening?"

"Fine, thank you. I am a little curious about the invitation I received from you, Velvet Wings. I am inclined to go and have an enjoyable meal with the other bat ponies, but... I feel that there is something else going on."

A trickle of sweat ran down his forehead, and he said nothing. Luna continued, "Am I in the firing line?"

He whispered, "Zat depends. You like fizzy water? Carbonated? And spicy stew?"

"Ooh, I do actually like both of those. I'll eat anything spicy, but Celestia ironically has a low tolerance of it. Carbonated water turns the stars in my mane into bubbles, which should make the bats laugh after they finish cursing each other. Clever thinking."

He sighed in relief. He wouldn't be playing a joke on Luna, but the other bat ponies would be at least surprised by the "cook's" antics. "Thanks, Princess. Zis will be so funny tonights."

"I agree."

Velvet Wings had the perfect excuse why not to eat the stew, so when one of the kitchen staff asked, "Do you not like the stew?" he barely flinched.

"I had stomach problems last time I had stew, so I'll have a mango instead," he answered, flying into the kitchen to find one. Once he did, he walked back into the mess hall, just as Princess Luna entered and took her seat. He sat next to her.

Everypony except Velvet had a large mouthful of the stew. Princess Luna swallowed it with ease and said, "Mmm, good," while the bat ponies breathed jets of fire into the air. Velvet Wings and Luna could not help but laugh, which earned them some angry stares.

After everypony had had some carbonated water and Luna's mane was full of bubbles, Velvet stood on a table and bowed.

"Yes, it is I who put ze spice in ze stew," he giggled. "Zis is payback for somepony switching ze labels of ze coffee in ze royal kitchens. Now, who did it?"

All of the bat ponies shrugged and furrowed their brows, while Princess Luna whistled and looked away.

"ARGH! PRINCESS! YOU HAS NO IDEAS HOW ANGRY YOUR SISTER WAS!!" he roared at her. "YOU IS EVIL! NIGHTMARE MOON IN DISGUISE!" He chased her out of the barracks, and she did not return.

It's no wonder, really, that she stood on a whoopee cushion outside her bedroom a week later.

Author's Note

Overused cliché number 1: I'm sorry! I couldn't not use the Princess Coffee cliché!

Overused cliché number 2: spices. I've seen this used in MLP fanfiction at least 3 times, but it's more of a day-to-day happening in this world.

Overused cliché number 3: whoopee cushion! Why not? There may or may not be more of these soon, depending on demand.

The carbonated water was Samurai_Arashi's idea.