A Fanfic by Squiggle

by ImThatGuy

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Profanity, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2451

A pony named Squiggle attempts to write a fanfic

An earth pony named Squiggle attempts to gain fame and renown by writing the greatest fanfiction ever. However, he soon finds the task to be more difficult as dumb shit gets in the way.

Published 2020-07-23 20:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-23 20:40:00 UTC

The Chapter

Squiggle was a rather unremarkable pony. He had an unremarkable life, an unremarkable job, and an unremarkable...I don't know...let's say mane? Anyway, Squiggle was unremarkable in every way except one: somepony had once complimented him on some random short story he once wrote for the hell of it. This gave Squiggle a deep and intense feeling of being a master author who but needed to put hoof to paper and he would churn out masterpiece after masterpiece.

One day, Squiggle happened to read a rather long and very serious fanfiction about something or other, and he now knew that destiny had called him to replicate the great deed with a fanfiction of his own. He would fall asleep that very night, dreaming of the glory and fame that would be heaped upon him as throngs of dumb and easily manipulated ponies praised his masterful writing skills and epic use of whatever else he probably had to produce the greatest fanfiction Equestria had ever seen.

The next day, Squiggle sat down at his desk, ignoring all the 'important' things other ponies told him he had to do that day and began to think of ideas to put in his fanfic. Squiggle knew that he would need to gather inspiration from multiple masterpieces to be able to steal..er...I mean imagine(nailed it!) the various elements he would need to write his own story.

Squiggle spent the next few hours pouring over the small shelf in his room that he liked to describe as his 'library' to his friends for anything that would give him an idea. He skimmed through his small collection of fantasy and adventure books to come to the conclusion that his story needed to be set in some sort of magical world. This world would have to have magic(duh) and epic heroes who could wield that magic against epic villains who could also wield some sort of magic. The next three or four hours after that were spent coming up with a loose cast of characters whom Squiggle certainly didn't copy from the fanfiction that had initially inspired him to write his own.

Squiggle's efforts were now beginning to bear fruit, as he found himself with a set of characters, a basic world for him to build on, and Squiggle had some great ideas for how to utilize magic in his story and world. But then everything changed when the fire nation...I mean when Squiggle's friend, Nickle, smashed through the door and into Squiggle's room.

"Squiggle you bastard!" Nickle yelled, "If you don't play this video game I just bought, then you're a scrub casual who'll never get laid!"

Now Nickle was kind of a bitch; Like, the kind of bitch who would main as Bastion in Pony Overwatch. Nickle was also kind of a pleb and nopony ever took him seriously or listened to what he had to say in any capacity, but this challenge was something that Squiggle simply could not let go unheeded.

"Ok Nickle," Squiggle said in response, "I'll play your little game for but a few hours. I have a fanfic to write after all!"

The next twelve hours were spent handing Nickle's pony-ass to him in this random and unimportant video game.

"Haha!" Squiggle taunted, "I have now ended your whole career!"

And with that, Nickle leapt from the window in utter, abject defeat and spent the next week scouring the internet to find a cheese build to finally beat Squiggle in the game. Squiggle was not worried about this development, but nevertheless would always be there to whoop Nickle's ass in any game he wanted. It was only now, though, that Squiggle realized it was late and that he needed sleep to be rested for the next day of fanfic writing. He still needed a villain after all!

The next day, at about noon, when Squiggle was accustomed to rise from his slumber, he trotted over to his typewriter(pretty sure ponies have typewriters) and began to write his epic villain. It was not difficult as Squiggle thought it would be funny to base his villain after Nickle, as he had so rudely interrupted the groove Squiggle had from the other day. With this in mind, Squiggle made excellent progress over the next few hours until he finally had enough to start writing his first chapter. How exciting!

But life unfortunately intervened in Squiggle's efforts as the clock struck the accustomed time that Squiggle was meant to head off to his classes at the local community college. Luckily, the bus ride was like forty minutes long and would give Squiggle ample time to think about new ideas. There was also the fact that Squiggle's classes were generally unimportant and he could spend the entirety of the day thinking of new ideas for his fanfiction. The day continued on as per usual, unremarkable and relatively uninteresting. The only thing of note that happened was when somepony stepped on somepony else's tail and made them trip down the stairs. Squiggle found this quite entertaining and decided to go home and tell Nickle about how dumb the ponies at the community college were.

It had now been a full week since Squiggle had started his fanfiction and he had actually managed to post the first few chapters on some overhyped website that he only decided to use because everypony else used it and he was too lazy to look for another. Squiggle was now prepared for the immense attention and praise he would undoubtedly receive from his absolute master piece of a fanfic. There was no doubt in Squiggle's mind that he was about to become the next big name in the glamorous world of niche fandom fanfictions about non-specific things.

"Squiggle, you stupid bitch!" Nickle yelled as he once again barged into Squiggle's room. "Have you heard the current news about that other game we want to play that's coming out in a few weeks?"

Squiggle knew exactly what game Nickle was talking about and was indeed excited for it. He knew it was going to be the next big thing and that he and Nickle would have an absolute blast playing it together.

"It has controversy!" Nickle yelled, his voice squealing in horror.

"Not controversy!" Squiggle yelled back in shock.

"Yes controversy!" Nickle shouted back. "It seems that the developers have decided to delay the game and have admitted that it is going to be horrible and a waste of time."

This was the worst possible news that Squiggle could have received. The only course of action would be to spend the next week furiously researching every aspect of the controversy and yell and shout about it pointlessly on the internet. This is what Squiggle spent the next several days doing, and it was time well spent.

Once that was over, it was back to the typewriter for Squiggle. He had a fanfiction to write after all! The next week went by and Squiggle managed to get another chapter done, but much to his annoyance, it was not instantly blowing up and receiving mountains of praise and adoration as Squiggle had expected. This was distressing to Squiggle as he had no way of knowing if ponies really loved his work or they they just regular loved his work. Truly, Squiggle lived dark times if ponies were not lining up to praise and congratulate him on his sublime and pristine work of art. This only motivated Squiggle more as he yearned to write more chapters to get more ponies hooked and hyped for his masterpiece.

The days went by as they normally did for Squiggle. He would wake up(at noon of course) and go to community college, sometimes he would go to work(if he felt like it), and then he would spend every other moment on his fanfiction. Things seemed to be going well as several more chapters had been finished and his story had now accrued a whole ten views. Unfortunately for Squiggle, there were still no comments or even likes to tell him just how much everypony loved his work. Squiggle sat there, depressed, he was now elated with great news. A show he liked had just been released on a popular streaming service and he could re-watch the entire thing for only $6.99 a month! Spectacular!

This would come to occupy the next three or four days of Squiggle's life. And it was time well spent.

"Squiggle you dumb fuck!" Nickle shouted as he once again barged into Squiggle's room, "Our boss from work is having a huge party and you need to go with me and help set it up!"

Squiggle loved his boss's parties. They had everything a pony could want. Food, video games, non-specific substances not for those under a certain age. Yup, everything a pony could want. Squiggle eagerly ran out with Nickle and headed to his boss's house to help with the party. Once Squiggle got to his boss's house, he became occupied with setting up the various game consoles and not-for-foals beverages.

When Squiggle had completed his tasks, he spent the next two days at his boss's house, partying and waking up in odd places in the mornings. When this was done, he returned home and back to his beloved fanfic. Squiggle was delighted to find that he had gained several more views and even...a like! This filled Squiggle with so much joy that he screamed in utter happiness. His time had now come. Ponies were beginning to notice him and he now felt invigorated to continue writing. This is exactly what Squiggle did, and in several more weeks, he had finished several important chapters where the heroes finally squared off with the villain for the first time. Of course the hero lost, so as to get stronger and prove himself worthy for the next battle.

"Squiggle!" Nickle once again shouted as he once again burst through the door, "The controversial game is now out! Play it with me!"

Squiggle had no choice now. The next week was spent with Nickle, playing through the controversial game that proved to be not so controversial after all. It was wholly unremarkable and probably not worth all the hype in the first place, but since Squiggle was playing it with his friend, he had fun. Although, it must be said that after finishing the game, Squiggle returned to the internet and spent several days trolling butthurt fanponies about it. It was time well spent.

As the months passed, Squiggle found himself with less and less time to write his masterpiece. He had tests and finals for his community college to get ready for(now he supposed he should actually learn something for those), and he had even more controversial games to play(everything seemed controversial these days). Squiggle played the games, and he cheated on his tests, and then took about a week to just lay down and rest. He had been very busy with these things to write much of his fanfic and now it had been a whole three weeks since he posted anything. Squiggle began to worry his adoring fans might think something happened to him if he didn't post anything. With this in mind, Squiggle got back up, pulled on his metaphorical pants and got back to work.

Several more months had passed with little more of the greatest fanfiction ever, being written. Apparently Squiggle's boss liked him and asked if he could work more, which Squiggle accepted as he was too lazy to say no. Work obviously is a huge investment of time and Squiggle was worried that it might cut into his writing time. He more or less liked where he worked so he didn't want to ditch it completely, but at the same time, Squiggle just wanted to write his fanfiction.

"Squiggle you pathetic virgin!" Nickle shouted as he broke down Squiggle's now locked door to enter his room, "I got a girlfriend!"

Shit.

Squiggle was utterly confused as to how somepony as retarded as Nickle could actually get a girlfriend. This was a thing unheard of! Nickle was supposed to be the bitch of Squiggle's friends and was not meant to have a happy ending.

"How is that possible?" Squiggle asked.

"I'm fucking sexy!" Nickle yelled back with great pride. "Also, I have to argue with you about the new movie trilogy of the popular franchise we both love."

"Star Horse?" I said eagerly.

"Hell yeah!" Nickle shouted.

Now, Squiggle was far more well-versed in Star Horse lore and trivia than Nickle was. Squiggle knew this new trilogy to be utter trash, despite only one movie being out and the next scheduled to come out in a few days. Nickle, the bitch that he was, loved it and saw great potential in the story. Poor deluded Nickle.

They argued about unimportant minutia until the big day arrived for the second installment of 'Star Horse: Now with more controversy'(see what I said about controversy?).

"I loved it!" Nickle proclaimed.

"I hated it." Squiggle said.

This dichotomy of opinions had to be rectified by Squiggle. The next several weeks were spent telling Nickle about all the terrible things in the movies and why it was garbage.

"I still loved it." said Nickle.

Nickle held this view for several more months before coming to the realization that the movie was bad on his own. The time was well spent.

With all of this going on, Squiggle had not been able to do much writing. A few more chapters were completed over the coming months, but the initial spark of joy for it was gone. Squiggle had not been heaped with fame and fortune from his fanfiction and this caused him great distress.

The chapters started coming out with less and less frequency, though Squiggle had received several more likes. Squiggle had become invested in his own story and had every intention of finishing it at some point, but more controversial video games were being released, and more bad movies were coming out. No matter what Squiggle did, new things continued to pop up and prevent him from writing his masterpiece.

Eventually, more chapters were released, and more views were gained, but Squiggle seemed no closer to the fame and fortune he thought he had been promised. Daily writing had taken it's toll on Squiggle, and now he sought to take breaks every so often to come up with more ideas and refine each chapter to make them better(hopefully). Squiggle now only seldomly sat down to write, mostly because Nickle kept breaking his door and he had to spend all of his time repairing it. Squiggle indeed had a very hard life now...mostly because of Nickle.