After breakfast, we call Chryssie over for a War Council meeting, and gather in the lounge. I am just about open my mouth to speak when we all hear a loud POP.

"Greetings," says Discord, bowing, his snout almost touching the floor. "It is I, Discord, with news for you all. I heard that you were going to be having a little meeting about the Solar Guards at the border. I believe they've all retreated but they're planning something else."

"Discord," Chrysalis sighs, wrinkling her muzzle up. I know how she feels.

"Oh, Queen Chrysalis, my fellow prankster."

"I am not interested in anything you have to say. Get out."

"But I'm friends with little Princess Moonlight of Equestria, future Queen of the Crystal Empire!" he pouts.

I wouldn't call us friends, but I want to keep the peace. Already there are too many reasons to be stressed. "Discord, Chrysalis, it's clear you two don't like each other, but we have more important things to think about. I hate to take a leaf out of Twilight Sparkle's book, but maybe let's have a little less arguing and a little more friendship."

Discord's stripy blue and white sun lounger materialises, and he falls backwards onto it. Chrysalis says something rude under her breath and takes a seat on one of the sofas. Sombra and I sit next to her. Cozy and Wishbone sit at opposite ends of the other sofa, with Hope in between them.

"Discord, would you care to-" Sombra tries to say.

"Give me an update first. I don't know all of your faces. There's three all on one sofa that I have never seen before."

"Radiant Hope," she introduces herself.

"Wishbone Willow."

"Cozy Glow."

"Aha! You three. So you're all in this little gang trying to wind up Sunbutt. The thing is, Prince Blueblood and Princess Luna are already on board too, as is a unicorn I've never met but heard of: Starlight Glimmer. Plus you have Mister Yak Smash on your side, and, of course, me. Why can't we all walk into Canterlot and tell Celestia to leave now?"

"Think of it like a game of chess, Discord," Cozy tells him, rolling her eyes. "The enemy player's king is still surrounded by all of his pawns, rooks, knights and bishops. Plus, there's probably a queen in there, maybe in this case Princess Cadance, who we really need to find a nickname for. You aren't going to send your own king in there until you've taken out some of the enemy's chess pieces, otherwise it'll be checkmate faster than anypony can say-"

"Daring Do?" he inquires, holding up the latest novel in the adventure series.

"Yes, now stop interrupting everypony's sentences, it's really-"

"MOOOOO," says a black and white cow stood in the corner. It is wearing a bright red collar, with a name tag that reads INTERRUPTING COW. There is a loud POP and it disappears, leaving us in peace.

All of us glare at Discord.

"What? Is that all? You aren't going to throw me in the dungeon?"

I look at each of my friends, and can tell that Cozy, Chrysalis and Sombra are all considering it. "We would like to," I snap. "I'm not sure as the punishment fits such a petty crime, though. Don't use that as an excuse to make even more trouble, Discord. King Sombra and I still have to decide how much free rein to give you."

"Fine, miss."

I raise my eyebrows. "Are you asking for trouble? I've already told you to use our proper names and titles."

"Ah, but here's the thing, O'Princess of the Stars," he says conspiratorially, teleporting from the sun lounger to the space behind the sofa and towering over me and Sombra. "You are telling everypony not to do things, and yet these things are still happening. You and King Sombra have become soft as butter." The two of us find ourselves trapped in a huge block of butter, which melts and drips to the floor. Then the mess disappears, and thankfully the sofa and our coats remain unharmed, though Sombra's cloak needs a wash. "You need to harden up a bit. It's good that you're being nice, but already you two are becoming like Mistress Sunbutt, oh so willing to let your subjects get away with plain murder and only focused on one thing. It gets a little boring. Rules are made to be broken, but if there aren't any rules to break and there isn't a deterrent the dare becomes pointless. Now what fun is that? Suddenly you can't put anypony in the dungeon because everypony has broken the law and it has become nil and void. Breaking that rule becomes the norm."

Chrysalis clearly wants to hit him. "I hate myself for agreeing with him, but he's right."

Wishbone, Hope and Cozy Glow all nod in response.

"Fine, we'll toughen up a little. It's not like we weren't going to, what with the Solar Guards threatening us," I sigh. "But you don't know what it's like to be in our horseshoes."

"Did you ever hear the story of the prince who poisoned a princess's drink with a love potion?" Wishbone inquires.

"Enlighten us," Sombra tells her.

"The two ponies fell in love, cared only for each other, forgot all their royal duties, and both of their respective kingdoms collapsed. Now just look at you two, and think about the Crystal Empire and Equestria."

Cozy and Discord start laughing. Hope tries her best not to, but a smile creeps onto her lips nonetheless.

Beautiful, this is getting out of hoof. I for one am not going to let them walk all over us.

Restrict Discord's magic. That should shut all of them up.

Sombra casts the spell, and Discord snaps his claws, but nothing happens. The Spirit of Chaos has been caught out, and he makes it clear that he is not impressed by pretending to faint onto his sun lounger.

"What happened to my magic? I'm done for!" he wails.

"Discord," I say, a triumphant smile plastering itself on my face, "you messed with us. As recently as last week, you tried to kidnap me. Today, you insulted myself and King Sombra, tried to drown us in butter and told us how to rule our kingdom even though I don't recall making you one of our royal advisers. However, we decided to take your advice and - what was it you said? We hardened up a bit. Enjoy your stay in the Crystal Empire dungeon. Perhaps by the end, your attitude might have improved a little. A non-arrogant Spirit of Chaos would be a welcome change."

Two guards approach him, and he gasps, "I was joking about you putting me in the dungeon!"

"Before you go," Sombra tells him, "you said you had some information for us. We might go lenient if you know anything of use."

"Said information being that somepony offered me a hoof in friendship and I know that they are much less likely to betray me than either you or Sunbutt. I'm handing in my notice, giving up my job, because I have a very very good friend and I would help her no matter what. Just like you two. I doubt there are any limits to what you would do if it would save the other."

"And who would this pony be?"

"A mare who is growing out of her shell into a wonderful pony, and as much as I despise some of her friends, she is important to me, and I always liked her, even when I started my temporary chaos reign over her home in Ponyville. She's very understanding, taking in all kinds of waifs and strays as well as endangered species like me."

I sigh, "Would she be the Element of Kindness?"

"Right-o. I think she might be a bit more than a friend to me. Let me make this clear: I am working only for her. I said I would follow your orders because I know you can double any reward Sunbutt offers me, but my dear Fluttershy can double any offer you give me. She will most likely panic when I do not return, but I have gone on two-week-long voyages into the realms of outer space before, so she's unlikely to gather the Elements and all that she-bang. Oh, where's the sound effects when you need them?"

"Wait," Chrysalis says. "The Element of Kindness is going to worry if he does not return, or if he returns without his magic intact. How long does that spell last?"

"A week," Sombra admits, "and I have yet to find a way of reducing that time. Because of Discord, we seem to be in a bit of a pickle."

"You're welcome," he answers. "Oh, where's the pickles when you need them?!"

"Guards, take him down to the dungeon. It's up to you, but you might want to have him gagged, depending on how much he talks."

The two guards seize him and he wails, "Fine, I'll continue helping you! I am multiverse-renowned for my methods of persuasion! I can get the Elements on your side, just give me my magic back!"

"Too late now," I grin. "In a week's time, you will get your magic back and we might allow you to go free. We trust that you won't keep bothering us after that, and that you won't work for Sunbutt. If you do, King Sombra and I might have to restrict your magic on a more - hmm, how do I put this? A more permanent basis."

"Not fair! And after I told you to look up at the stars, you missed it!"

"What did I miss?" What I really want to do is tell him to shut up, but that's never going to work.

"I aligned the stars to spell Sunbutt. Just for you."

"You're still going to the dungeon, and you're not having your magic back. Goodbye."

I am not supposed to like the howl of frustration and sadness that Discord gives as he is led out of the room by the guards, but it gives me a sense of satisfaction that might be associated with the phrase good riddance to bad rubbish.

"I am really questioning the ethics of using that spell," Wishbone sighs.

"I know, Wish, but did you hear him?! Chrysalis, now I get why you hate him so much. All of that, and what did we achieve? Nothing!" I massage the side of my head.

Chrysalis deadpans. "Now, because of that little piece of scum, we are going to have to prepare for the Elements of Harmony to turn up. Also, we need to discuss the situation with the Solar Guards. They are currently staying at the border, but could return to the Crystal Empire at a moment's notice. We might have to prioritise where the guards are needed."

"Beautiful?" Sombra asks me.

"Yes?"

"How much trouble are we in?"

"We're Tartarus-deep in trouble, and we're going to end up looking ridiculous if we can't stop bickering amongst ourselves. The last thing I want is to make ourselves look like an easy target."

"What do you think we should do about it?"

"We don't want to send any more guards out there, unless they are urgently needed. Our security is beginning to look shabby, so I'm going to speak to the Crystal Guard and make sure they know how much they are being relied on. Hopefully, I can shame them into doing a good job. We might need a curfew, so if any of Sunbutt's friends pop over, they'll only be able to do so by daylight."

"Hey, you two do realise that anypony can just teleport straight into your throne room and kick you out, right?" Cozy hesitates. "I mean, Discord just appeared in here and none of the guards did anything."

Sombra says, "Cozy is right. We might have to have a ban on teleporting in or out of the castle. I hate the idea, but if it delays an invasion, it is worth a try." He pauses for a moment, then casts the spell. "Now we have to go and tell the public the last thing they want to tell them." He looks at the other three fillies. "Could you help us out, so we don't seem like complete and utter monsters?"

"Gee, do you really think any of us are going to do that? You are monsters. No point in trying to tell everypony otherwise." Cozy, the little pest.

"I'm still annoyed at you, Sombra," Wishbone mutters.

All eyes turn to Hope.

"I - er - um - if you-"

Wishbone gives her the daggers.

"Sorry, no."

"Thank you for nothing, you crazy fillies. Now I have some speech-writing to do." He tries to teleport out of the room, causing the girls to erupt into a fit of laughter. Even Chrysalis joins in. Then, a look of disgust on his face, he walks out of the room, and I follow suit.

Author's Note

Bonus: My thoughts on writing chapters about Discord

Writing Discord isn't too bad, but he eats up your word count and you don't actually achieve much when he appears.

~~"Too right, I~~ completely ~~steal the show," said Discord, poking his head through a large hole in the fourth wall. "Everypony loves me! Forget proper stories, just write about me being me! Please, Angel?"~~

Ignore him. If I do any Slice of Life stuff, it probably won't be about Discord. Anyways, how can we call anything Discord-related Slice of Life?!

~~"Good question." The entire fourth wall was turned into shortbread cookies and came crumbling down.~~

Ugh. Stay out of this, Discord, and fix the fourth wall. Unless you want me to walk through and tell Moonlight and Sombra that you've escaped?

~~"Well, when you put it like that..." The wall turned back into a proper wall.~~

Thank you! Finally you do something useful!

~ Angel