Just Another Normal Day in Canterlot
"Hurry, Twilight!" Cadance cried, her pace picking up as she and the purple unicorn made a dash for the exit of the crystal mines underneath Canterlot. Her mane was ratty, frazzled, and disheveled from the days spent in captivity. Breathing heavily, she looked behind her and saw that Twilight was doing her best to keep up.
Sweating, Cadance whined, "If we don't get to the wedding soon, Shining will marry—"
"Yes! He'll marry the fake you!" Twilight called back between gasps. Her hooves were pounding on the stone, and she was working hard to get the needed air for her lungs which felt like they were on fire. Igniting her horn, she glanced around, attempting to gain a better view of the path ahead.
All around her, the crystals glittered from her magic. Reflections of her and her soon-to-be sister-in-law warped as they approached formations in the walls and then galloped past. To her left, she heard faintly the sound of a few crystals shattering as they broke off the ceiling and fell to the ground. In the distance, she could see the glow of Celestia's sun. They were within reach of the exit.
Suddenly, she ran smack into Cadance's flank. Falling to the ground, she spat out a few hairs from the alicorn's tail. She licked her lips. Tasted like cotton candy. Peering around Cadance, she saw what had caused the sudden stop.
There was a massive chasm between the exit and themselves. Her heart dropped, plummeting to her stomach. If she had been going faster, she would have knocked the two of them into the abyss. She wiped a bit of sweat from her brow.
Frowning, Cadance looked back at Twilight. She nodded and motioned for Twilight to get on her back. Spreading her wings, she bent down and waited for her to climb up.
Hesitantly, Twilight did as requested. After straddling Cadance and adjusting herself, she wrapped a forearm around the alicorn’s neck. Holding tight with her rear legs, she patted Cadance on the shoulder with her free forearm. She brushed a bit of her mane out of her face and looked down at the chasm again.
Her body quivered as she gazed into the empty blackness below. She heard the whistle of wind as it whipped its way through the hole. Barely, she could make out the form of a few crystals that were refracting a bit of the sunlight from the exit. Small, slightly less-dark blobs—bats, she surmised—flitted about in the chasm.
Steeling herself, Twilight held on to Cadance for dear life as the alicorn sprang from her crouched position and took flight. At first, they hovered in the air before slowly descending. Inwardly, Twilight cursed that she was stupid enough to try this, but then felt her stomach lurch as Cadance's wings caught an updraft of air, and the pair went soaring high.
For roughly a minute, the two floated their way toward the exit. Every time Twilight felt that they were beginning to fall, Cadance would flap her wings or catch a gust of wind that would provide more lift. Soon, the exit to the mines approached and the pair landed on solid ground.
With a thud, Twilight rolled off Cadance and fell to the cold stone of the cave in a heap. She resisted the urge to kiss the floor beneath her and instead panted for air. Occasionally, a spasm would go through one of her legs as she still pictured the gaping darkness in the chasm behind them.
She squeezed her eyes shut and began muttering to herself that everything was okay. "I'm just dreaming. Any moment now, I'll wake up in the library and realize it was all just a dream," she thought to herself. Whimpering a bit, she shivered as a firm, cold hoof tapped her shoulder. “No, no. This is just a dream! Just a dream!” She tried to hold back a chuckle, as she felt her mane begin to unravel.
The prodding persisted, and she buried her head in her hooves. When the hoof jabbed her in the ribs, sending a small tingle of pain through her torso, she shot her eyes open. For good measure, the hoof poked her once more. Reality had come knocking. "Definitely not a dream." Peering up at Cadance, she smiled weakly.
"Twilight, we need to go," Cadance stated, a grimace on her face as she turned to head out the entrance. Sighing, she said, "I can face this imposter myself, if you're too tired." She trotted out the exit, Twilight fast on her heels.
As Twilight left the mines, she blinked and covered her eyes. The sun may have been mostly obscured by Canterlot, but after spending who knows how long in the caves, the tiniest bit of natural light caused tears to well up. For a few seconds, she winced and turned to look at the grass. Even the light reflected off the plants managed to make her eyes burn slightly.
After she finally adjusted to the brightness, she glanced around at the plains beneath the city. What rays of sunlight there were, were tinted a blood red as they filtered through Shining Armor's shield spell. The light cast the entire lower section of the city's support beams in an eerie, otherworldly glow.
In front of her, Cadance was staring up at Canterlot. Hanging from the bottom of the city and clinging to parts of the main support pillar were numerous small, black dots. If Twilight didn't see them slightly moving around like a swarm of ants, she would have sworn they were some odd mold infestation.
Covering her eyes, Cadance muttered, "That can't be good."
With a huff, Twilight arched an eyebrow at her soon-to-be sister-in-law and grunted, "You think?" She followed Cadance's gaze back up and hummed to herself. What kind of creature could this be? At the moment, she concluded, it didn't really matter. Cadance needed to get to the wedding posthaste, or whatever that imposter's plans were would pay off.
Cadance flared her wings again and blasted off, sending a wave of air in all directions. As the grass settled, Twilight huffed. "Figures," she groused and began to charge her horn. A bit of sweat trickled down her face as she concentrated on the spell. Cracking an eye open, she saw Cadance curve around the bottom of Canterlot. She focused on the spell again.
In her mind, she pictured the rough location of where Cadance had most likely landed. Reaching out with her magic, she tried to feel the location. For a few seconds, she floundered, but finally managed to create a small hook in that section of reality. She planted a hoof on the ground and placed another magical clamp where she currently resided. With that done, she groaned and tried to push the two sections together.
With a loud pop, she felt herself be jostled and opened her eyes. She had done it! Another successful teleportation! Despite having done it a few hundred times, she still felt like she was going to mess it up. One wrong move, and her body could reappear inside out!
Suddenly, she realized that she didn't feel anything beneath her hooves. She looked down and saw that she was floating about ten feet above the cobblestone roads of Canterlot. Right above Cadance, no less. "Oh buck," she complained and began to waggle her hooves desperately, falling to the ground in a heap.
As she landed, she heard Cadance grunt and crumple under her weight. Groggily shaking her head, she peered over her back and felt her cheeks grow hot. Cadance wasn’t impressed. The alicorn carried a large scowl and was tapping one of her forehooves on the ground impatiently.
Chuckling nervously, Twilight sprang up from Cadance and helped her to her hooves. "Woops." Twilight flashed her a weak grin and leaned back a bit as the alicorn continued to glare at her. "Good job, Twilight."
With a shake of her head, Cadance motioned for her to follow and took off down the streets of the city. She weaved in between crowds of onlookers eager to see the newlywed couple. Of course, said crowds didn't understand that the entire wedding was a sham, and that the bride was currently diving through them.
Canterlot was abuzz with activity. Ponies from all over Equestria had come to see the marriage of Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Many of the towering buildings of the city were adorned with bunting made specifically for the wedding. Flags fluttered in the breeze of the mountain city, and a few bells chimed as the ceremony began.
Barely keeping up with Cadance, Twilight faintly caught her moaning longingly as the bells continued to toll. Twilight's pulse quickened, and she heard her heart begin to boom in her ears. Sweat pouring down her face as she galloped, Twilight pushed through the crowd and stopped when Cadance reached the entrance to Canterlot Castle.
Outside the castle gate were two guards. They leveled their spears at them and scowled. Before Twilight could say anything, Cadance ignited her horn and teleported two large boulders to whack the guards in the back of the head. As the sentries fell to the ground with a resounding clang, Cadance used her magic to blast the gate open and shot through.
Sidestepping the two bodies, Twilight followed. Surprisingly, the courtyard was empty. A growing pit in her stomach, Twilight tried to see if there were any guards at all in the area. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't put her hoof on it.
Cadance blasted her way through the entrance to the castle. Inside, servants jumped in shock as they saw the alicorn rush through the halls.
Marble pillars decorated with wreaths, fake vines, and other ornaments zoomed by the pair as they continued to run through the castle. If this was any other time, Twilight would have spent the time observing the work of the servants who had prepared everything. But right now, they had to rescue Shining, her friends, and, most importantly, Princess Celestia.
Grunting, she saw Cadance take off into the air again and dash down the halls. With her added wing power, Cadance was much faster than the grounded Twilight. With a harrumph, Twilight muttered to herself, "It'd be nice if I had a pair of wings."
She turned the corner and saw Cadance halt in front of the throne room's doors. Slowing her pace, Twilight trotted up to her and tried to catch her breath. Between gasps, Twilight asked, "Are you ready?" Before Cadance could respond, Twilight sat on her haunches and heaved a few ragged breaths desperately to ease her flaming lungs.
Swiveling on her hooves, Cadance flashed Twilight a concerned frown. From inside the throne room, the two could hear the music of an organ and ponies cheering. Soon, the music stopped, and they could hear Celestia begin her speech. Cadance sat down and placed a hoof on Twilight. She smiled at the unicorn and said, "Thank you, Twilight. If it weren't for you, I would still be stuck down there."
Twilight nodded. Taking a few deep breaths, she replied, "Y-yeah. It's not like I was sent there or anything by your wacky doppelganger." After a couple more inhales, she fell on her back and groaned. Her body still ached from running the entire way from the edge of Canterlot to the throne room. On top of that, her head throbbed from performing such a difficult teleportation spell.
"Get ready," Cadance growled, pushing the doors to the throne room open and stepping inside. As the crowd noticed her, they screamed in disbelief. A few ponies fainted. Twilight caught a few others murmuring.
“What’s going on?” one asked, her voice squeaking a bit in fear. She glanced between Twilight and Cadance, then back to the stage.
“Don’t tell me this is some joke,” another grumbled, crossing his hooves and sitting back down on his seat. “I swear, if this wedding was like the last one where the bride had an identical twin, I’m out.”
Twilight and Cadance slowly trotted toward the stage.
Celestia was standing behind the imposter Cadance and Shining Armor. When she saw that the real Cadance had entered, she froze and stared emptily at her niece. Switching her gaze between the real Cadance and the fake Cadance, Celestia pulled her regal features into a tired scowl. Twilight couldn't hear what she muttered, but she could tell that the princess was far from amused.
"Step away from my husband, you bitch!" Cadance bellowed, dashing toward the altar and charging her horn with a light blue aura. At the last second, she was restrained by a pair of guardsponies who flew in from the balcony behind Celestia. Struggling against her captors, she reached a forehoof toward Shining Armor.
Shining was blissfully unaware of the events going on. His mane was a bit disheveled, and his eyes were a sickly shade of green. At Cadance calling his name, he murmured a bit and smiled dopily. He stared at the fake Cadance and replied, "Yes, my sweet?"
Rolling her eyes, the fake Cadance groaned and plastered a massive grin on her face. She turned to face the real Cadance and Twilight, who was slowly cantering up to her friends. She strained and glanced between the actual Cadance, Twilight, and the crowd.
As Twilight approached her friends, the five other ponies and Spike inquired of her what was happening. Twilight just sighed and smacked a forehoof to her face. "It's a long story," she stated. Smirking slightly, she added, "Let's just say I was right all along."
With that, her friends collectively groaned.
Turning her attention back to the two Cadances, Twilight watched as the real Cadance stared down the imposter. Frowning, Twilight started to trot toward the two guards holding her former foalsitter in place. “Uh,” she began, her voice cracking slightly as both guards switched their gazes to glare at her, “you realize you got the wrong Cadance, right?”
One of the guards shook his head, some of the light from the window behind him glinting on his helmet. “We knew there was a potential threat to the wedding.” He tightened his hold on Cadance as she struggled to get free. “Everything already checked out. This is just a last ditch attempt to get at the princesses and Canterlot!”
Resisting the urge to smack her face, Twilight instead pondered for a second why Cadance wasn’t trying to use her magic to break free. Maybe because it’d make her look more suspicious if she suddenly took out more guards? Whatever the case, it looked like she’d have to implement the “Romeo Plan.”
“Well,” she drawled, catching Cadance’s eye. Cadance arched her brow for a second, then suddenly gasped and shook her head. Ignoring Cadance’s insistence to stop, Twilight continued, “There is one way to prove it for sure.”
The two guards remained silent, and Twilight coughed into her hoof, a slight blush coming to her cheeks. “The real Princess of Love could make anypony fall for anything…” She felt sweat drip down the back of her neck as Cadance leveled her with a glare that could pierce the most solid magical shield. It could probably break anything summoned by Celestia or Luna, or even Star Swirl the Bearded’s patented Bulky Bulwark of Bullish Batterments.
“Twilight!” Cadance cried, her voice an octave higher than normal. Motioning with her head to the left, she growled, “Right in front of Shining?”
“You have a better idea to get free?” Twilight snipped back. She furrowed her brow and swished her tail rapidly. For a moment, they glanced at each other, then Cadance finally huffed and looked away.
“Why do you want to embarass me?” Cadance groaned as she ignited her horn and cast a few swirls of blue magic around the second guard, who happened to be a mare. She jerked straight, holding herself at attention for a moment before rotating slowly to stare at the first guard.
“Uh, Glistening Shield, you okay?” he inquired, releasing Cadance and taking a step back. Likewise, the other guard followed him, her eyes glazed over, a small string of drool dripping down her tongue.
“I am now!” she exclaimed, attempting to pounce on him. He dodged at the last second, shrieking like a filly as Glistening Shield tried to dive at him again.
“I-I don’t know what got into you,” he stuttered, slowly trudging toward the door. A few of the guests followed his movements as he inched closer to the exit. When Glistening Shield gave a low, sultry growl, he gulped and scrambled on his hooves.
For a couple of seconds, he ran in place before bolting through the door, which slammed resoundingly through the room as Glistening Shield galloped after him. Her wings pumped beside her in an attempt to get a bit more speed.
Now free, Cadance trotted next to Twilight and sighed, “You know I don’t like doing that.”
Her left eye twitching, Twilight winced when she heard a cry from the hallway outside the room. “Holy Celestia, Glistening Shield! Calm down!” There was a loud crash, and the guard shrieked again. Although muffled through the door, the thudding of hoofsteps began to fade into the distance.
“What the hay, Cadance? I was just wanting you to make them fall in love with a plant or something.” Twilight groaned, shaking her head and flicking an ear as she heard more clattering outside.
Faintly, she made out the male guard squeak, “I need an adult!”
Blushing, Cadance coughed into a hoof and muttered, “Sorry, I was a bit busy being held down against my will.” She shot Twilight a withering glower. It would have made a great portrait for an evil lair, if Cadance had or needed one.
“Mommy!” the soft cry of the guard came into the room, followed by a minuscule bang. A few seconds later, more screaming echoed from the streets below, along with incoherent blubbering regarding being cursed with good looks.
At that, the room fell into an even greater silence than before. It was like a black hole of noise. Casting her gaze around, Twilight observed what the rest of the guests were doing.
Most of the ponies in the back shifted around, their confusion quite apparent. The half that was closer to the front remained remarkably still. None of them Twilight recognized, but considering they were probably all nobility from Canterlot, that didn't surprise her. Although, it was a bit odd that so many were attending the wedding. It’s not like Cadance had an empire or country of her own she was leading.
Finally, she heard the fake Cadance whine to Celestia, "Auntie! Can you kick this imposter out?! She's ruining my wedding!" She pouted and crossed her forehooves. With a sidelong glance, she sneered at the real Cadance and Twilight.
"I'm getting too old for this," Celestia muttered and shook her head. She looked between the two Cadances and sighed. Throwing her speech notes in the air, she grunted, "That's it! I'm done! You two solve it." She cantered over to a corner of the throne room and planted herself down. "I'm just going to sit here and wait for it to be over." She turned to look out the balcony, watching the ponies of the city mill about in anticipation for the wedding procession.
"I'm ruining your wedding?! You're ruining mine!" the real Cadance snapped. She charged at the imposter, who sidestepped and chuckled as Cadance slammed into the cold floor. Getting up and rubbing her chin, Cadance glared at her doppelganger.
The fake Cadance pouted. Tears began to stream down her face, causing her mascara to run and create dark streaks on her chin. She turned to the crowd and gestured to the true Cadance. "See what this imposter does!" she cried, some sniffles escaping her muzzle. "She barges in here, claiming to be me!" She looked to Twilight and gave her a soft smile. "My soon-to-be sister-in-law warned me of a threat, and this is it!"
Sputtering, Twilight snapped, “I—”
“Ah, ah,” the fake Cadance tutted, shaking a hoof condescendingly. “It’s okay, I believe you now…” She paused for a split second, mouthing a couple words before finishing, “Twilight.” Her voice was slightly higher-pitched, like she was proud of remembering the name.
“Now, obviously since this is the fake me, we can just dispense with a trial and get this over with!” She cackled, her horn growing bright with a neon green glow. Her eyes flashed once, and she declared, “I find this imposter guilty of ruining my wedding. This day was supposed to be perfect!”
Horn crackling, the fake bowed her head and shot a sickly beam of magic toward the genuine Cadance. It impacted her, sending her careening back toward the exit. She slammed into the ground, curling up the rug and kicking bits of dust and dirt up as she skidded a few more feet.
“Could you please not damage my castle?” Celestia asked, eying the fake Cadance tiredly. “I just got the whole place redecorated.”
Taking a couple deep breaths, Cadance got to her hooves. She wiped at a few beads of sweat that were trickling down her muzzle, and she glared at the fake her. She crouched low, wiggling her hind legs for a second before tensing her muscles. Screaming in primal rage, she sprang forward and tried to tackle the doppelganger again, this time being sent staggering back by a bright green bubble.
Behind the catfight, Celestia shook her head and sighed. Frowning, she looked at the fracas and tapped a hoof to the floor. Every so often, while the two Cadances tried to get the better of each other, her left eye twitched. She looked to the back of the throne room, where she recently had placed an ornate wall clock. A quarter to three. Grimacing, she rubbed her stomach. She was going to miss her three o'clock cake.
With a booming smack, the real Cadance managed to find an opening and whack the fake right in the muzzle. A spurt of blood exploded from the imposter's nose as she went sailing through the air before thudding to the floor. As the doppelganger got up, she rubbed her nose and wiped the oozing liquid on her fur.
After a few more seconds, she began to sniffle, falling down on her haunches and wailing. "S-see?!" she cried, motioning with both forehooves toward the real Cadance, who was creeping her. The true Cadance's face was twisted in a snarl, and her eyes were lit in fury. Every couple of steps, she cracked her hooves heavily on the stone floor. Slowly, the two alicorns’ noses touched.
For a moment, the doppelganger grinned weakly, and Cadance stared deeply into her very soul. Cadance huffed, the hot air from her nostrils causing the tips of the fake’s mane to ruffle slightly.
Backing up as far as she could, the imposter continued, "Sh-she's going to kill me! D-don't let you be fooled by this wench! I'm the real Cadance!" She whimpered as Cadance closed the distance, her horn charging up for the finishing blow.
“Auntie!” the doppelganger shrieked, frantically looking at Celestia. Taking a couple of shaky breaths, the imposter thrust a hoof at Twilight, who flattened her brow and huffed. “I-I told you! T-Twilight’s trying to take over!” Eyes glistening with a few tears, she flashed Celestia with a pleading expression, dilating her pupils and puffing out her lower lip.
Celestia remained placid, staring at the fake Cadance as the seconds dragged on. The doppelganger protruded her chin a bit further and switched her gaze rapidly between Celestia and Twilight. Softly, she whimpered when she laid eyes on the impending form of death that was the actual Cadance.
Sighing, Celestia smacked a hoof to her face and slowly dragged it down her muzzle before muttering, “This again? I thought you just had too much to drink last night.” Slowly, her muzzle twisted into a frown and she grumbled, “I’ll just let you two sort it out.” After a second, she added, “I don’t care which Cadance I marry, but please just keep things in one piece. Is that too much to ask?”
“No! Listen!” Imposter Cadance waved her hooves desperately, her ears folding close to her head as a thrum started to come from Cadance’s horn. It bathed the area in a blue sheen. “She wanted us all in one place so she could steal our magic! Use it for herself!” she exclaimed, inching a bit further back as Cadance squeezed her eyes shut. “I-I know you—”
“Oh, shut up!”
With a yelp, the imposter jumped back as Cadance hurled a beam of magic toward her. The edge of the blast caught the end of her tail, leaving a dark, singed splotch on the hair. Hissing, she powered her own horn and charged toward Cadance.
The two slammed into each other, growling and snarling, and soon began to trade hoof blows. The crowd watched, unsure of what to make of the kerfuffle.
Faintly, Twilight spied a couple of ponies near the back whispering something between themselves. After a moment, they hopped off their seats and trotted out. They were shortly followed by a few others.
Beside her, she heard a set of hooves clop up. Darting her gaze to the side, Twilight caught Applejack shaking her head and muttering, “Sugarcube, Ah don’t know whut kind of Tartarus you found, but that—” she pointed at the two alicorns, who were now just a ball of hooves, wings, and dust as they tussled with each other “—is something else.”
“Yeah, Twi,” Rainbow Dash grunted, flying up next to her friends. “It’s like you’re wanting to ruin Cadance’s wedding!” She huffed and leveled Twilight with a glare. “I mean, making a clone? How the heck did you even do that?”
“Maybe she used some special magic mirror pool!” Pinkie declared, not shifting her gaze off the fight between the Cadances. She snorted, holding a hoof to her muzzle before chuckling. “Nah! That’d be silly!”
She paused for a second, humming and rubbing her chin. “Unless…” She scrunched her muzzle for a moment before gasping. “Unless!” Pinkie shot up to Twilight, her eyes quivering with energy. Whether that was excitement or fear, Twilight couldn’t tell. It was Pinkie, after all.
Before Twilight could react, Pinkie reached her hoof into the unicorn’s mane and tugged. A sudden jolt of pain worked its way through Twilight’s skull. “Ow! Pinkie! Cut it out!” she growled, swatting away at Pinkie’s arm before rubbing her head.
Her mission accomplished, Pinkie held a strand of Twilight’s mane in her hoof. A smirk on her face, she declared, “Unless you snuck into her room at night, and you were so bent on proving all of us wrong that you used a bit of her hair to do an evil, forbidden magic ritual to summon a clone from the pits of Tartarus!” She wiped her brow, taking a deep breath.
“Pinkie, I—” She let out a surprised peep when Pinkie jabbed a hoof on her muzzle. Scrunching her brow into a grimace, Twilight glared at Pinkie as she shook her head and opened her mouth to gab further.
“And then you planned on showing us all up and using the fake Cadance to sow chaos in the ceremony, so you could summon your new master, Discord!” With that, she finished and stared at Twilight. When her friend continued to watch her, mouth dangling open, Pinkie beamed. If Twilight didn’t know better, she would have sworn Pinkie’s cheeks made a “squee” sound.
Groaning, Twilight groused, “Pinkie, I was with you literally all last night. I’ve only been gone for like, an hour, at most!” Twilight gave an irritated nicker, and one of her ears flicked at a nearby fly. “When could I have left to do this evil ritual?” To emphasize, she plopped herself on the ground and flexed her forehooves a couple of times.
An unconvinced “hmmmm” escaped Pinkie’s mouth. “I don’t know, you were acting really—” She crossed her eyes and cackled for a second, her frizzy mane somehow growing even more frazzled. As Twilight backed away, Pinkie coughed and twirled her hoof. “What’s a good word?” she mused, tapping her chin.
Ears jolting upright, Pinkie squeaked, “Oh! Twilynannas! That works!”
With a grunt, Twilight sighed. “Pinkie, I don’t know where you get some of your ideas.” She jumped as a stray shot of magic from the ball of Cadances blew past her cheek. It was at most an inch away.
Unfazed, Pinkie shrugged and patted Twilight on the back. “I don’t know either! They just come to me!” She giggled and flashed Twilight an innocent grin, her teeth sparkling. Not a second later, she leveled Twilight with a glare and grumbled, “You’re still sus, though.”
Resisting the urge to connect a hoof with a face, whether her own, Pinkie’s, or some random grandmother’s, Twilight turned away and faced the fracas on the stage. Still, the fight raged on, one of the Cadances managing to come on top for a second and attempt to pin the other in a choke hold.
The other Cadance bucked with her hind legs, managing to free her from the other’s grasp. As the two alicorns continued to duke it out, Twilight felt her breath begin to quicken. Vainly, she tried to follow the real Cadance as she traded punches with the imposter, but after a while, her head began to throb, and her vision spun.
Holding a hoof to her head, she slowly waited for the dizziness to pass, and she whined, “We need to do something! If they arrest the wrong Cadance, Equestria is doomed!”
For a moment, her mind raced as she tried to determine her next course of action. Could she just vaporize the fake Cadance with a high-powered magic beam? No, the two alicorns were too close to each other, and she could hit the wrong Cadance.
Suddenly, one of the Cadances kicked with her rear hooves, hitting the other in the gut. Wind rushing from her lungs, the recipient went flying across the width of the room. She twitched for a second, gasping for air.
Likewise, the first Cadance caught her breath. After a second, she began to charge her horn, a bright blue glow coming from it. The other Cadance, the fake one, got to her hooves and snarled, her horn alight with a sickly green color.
Twilight glanced behind her, seeing her friends switching their gaze from one Cadance to the other. Applejack wore a puzzled frown, and Rainbow Dash scrunched her nose, jerking her eyes back and forth.
Sighing, Twilight shook her head. Her friends were obviously still confused. It was obvious, though. Why couldn’t they realize the Cadance to her left was the real one?
Suddenly, she winced and internally smacked her brain into next week. Of course. They didn’t know Cadance for their entire foalhood. Her ears perked up. She did have a way to show the real Cadance wasn’t just a clone. She blushed slightly, but steeled herself. It was the only way.
The two Cadances glowered at each other. Cadance wiped at her forehead and rubbed her hoof on her chest to dry the perspiration off. The imposter licked her lips, creating a rim of blood along her muzzle. At last, the two charged, lowering their heads and preparing to ram each other.
"No!" Twilight exclaimed, swiftly charging her horn and shooting a blast of magic toward the two alicorns. Both jumped out of the way at the last second. Heart racing, she said, "We need a definitive way to prove who the real Cadance is!" At this, both Cadances rolled their eyes. “And I have a plan!”
In unison, they asked, "Really, Twilight?"
Cadance pointed to the fake Cadance. "She’s obviously the fake! Everypony saw the green magic!"
Scoffing, the fake Cadance pointed at the real Cadance. "Puh-lease! I got a horn extension, you know it can mess with your magic for a bit.” She smirked and eyed Cadance for a second. “You really think you can fool anypony with that horrible getup?" She tsked and wiped a bit of blood from her muzzle. Waving her hooves mockingly, she said, "Oh! I'm Princess Cadance! Look at me everypony! I was locked away by my evil doppelganger!" She smirked and sneered at the real Cadance. "Like anypony would believe that."
"You... you..." Cadance sputtered, her brain trying to come up with a suitable insult.
"Mmm? What is it? Griffon got your tongue?" the fake Cadance purred, sultrily flicking her tail. She began to trot back toward Shining Armor, who was still wistfully staring off into space. As she approached, she fluttered her eyes at him, and he groaned in contentment.
"Bitch!" Cadance retorted. "Only I get to do that!"
"Oh, yes, clever," the fake Cadance responded. Waving a hoof dismissively, she snarked back, "You already said that one. How about 'wench?' Is that one good? Oh, I hear 'slut' is also a good option. Especially for the likes of you." She chuckled again.
Turning beet red, Cadance snapped, "Just because I'm the Princess of Love doesn't mean I do, well, that." She turned her gaze to the floor and shuddered slightly. Beginning to mutter to herself, she scuffed a hoof and looked back up at the fake Cadance. Faintly, she asked, "Nopony thinks that, right?"
"Enough!" Twilight broke in. All eyes turned to her. When she saw that she had gotten everypony's—aside from Shining, who was still effectively a vegetable—attention, she continued, "There's an easy way to tell who the real Cadance is." She shot a comforting glance at the real Cadance and asked, "Will the real Cadance please tell me where my birthmark is?"
At that, Cadance blushed even more profusely. Her eyes darting around, she trotted up to Twilight and whispered in her ear. After conferring with Twilight, she turned back around and sat down near the steps to the platform, her face still a bright shade of red. She coughed slightly as the crowd watched her. Chuckling a bit, she asked, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
A slight blush on her own face, Twilight turned to the other Cadance. Arching an eyebrow, she asked, "Well?" She watched the fake squirm and sweat.
The fake Cadance shifted on her hooves, glancing around the room. Briefly, she laid her eyes on the real Cadance and shuddered as the alicorn leveled her with a stern glare. Stuttering, she tried to form a coherent sentence. She tapped her chin, thinking on what to answer.
"Tick tock," Twilight said, sitting down and watching the fake Cadance try to figure out the question. She smiled smugly.
"Oh, blast!" the fake Cadance snarked, finally setting down her hoof and laughing a bit. "It seems you've found me out, Twilight Sparkle." She spat out the last two words, and a bright pillar of green fire consumed her. A wave of heat hit Twilight in the face, causing her to flinch and cover her face.
When the flames subsided, a horrible creature stood in the fake Cadance's place. Towering above the other ponies in the room, save for Celestia, the creature was covered from head to hoof in a black, chitinous exoskeleton. There were a few gaps in her legs as they approached her hooves. Bug-like wings protruded from her back, fluttering about with a loud buzzing sound.
“Holy crap! It’s my sleep paralysis demon!” a pony shrieked. Within seconds, a third of the room was in an uproar as ponies began to scramble around and attempt to leave through any means necessary. One pony, dressed in a tight suit, bolted past Twilight and Cadance, diving right out the open balcony.
There was a soft thud, and he coughed out, “I’m okay!”
The imposter chuckled deeply, opening her eyes and revealing them to be a sickly green in color. Slit pupils observed them, and she sneered, baring fanged teeth and a snake-like tongue. Slowly, she stepped forward and bowed mockingly at Cadance. "Queen Chrysalis," she stated, hissing a bit at the alicorn as she left her bow. "Queen of the united Changeling Hives." She wiggled her eyebrows a bit. "I'm for all your love."
"Hah!" Cadance cried, jumping up and pointing a hoof at the changeling. "Now that you've revealed yourself, we can easily stop you!" As nopony else responded, Cadance lowered her arm and turned to face the rest of the crowd. Wincing a bit as they stared at her, she asked, "Right?" She smiled weakly.
Trotting up to Cadance, Twilight rested a hoof on her shoulder and rubbed her back. "Right," she replied, grinning and giving Cadance a quick hug. "Together, we can stop anything!"
Chrysalis stuck out her tongue, hissing a bit like an angry cat before grunting, “Did you really just say that?” She gagged. Glancing back at Celestia, she snarked, “You leave the defense of Equestria to her?” She jerked her head toward Twilight, who huffed.
“Well, outsourcing monster and world-ending disaster rescue service does save a lot of time,” Celestia replied, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “Also, it saves on liability. Do you know how often I had to lawyer up when I dealt personally with every two-bit villain?” She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and muttering, “You save ponies’ lives, and then they sue you for destroying their home!”
With a sigh, she threw her arms into the air and exclaimed, “Sorry for helping!”
Interjecting, Twilight snapped at Chrysalis, “Well, we still have the power of Friendship on our side!” She stomped a hoof and began to charge her horn. A couple of sparks fell off, bouncing around on the floor before fizzling out.
"Oh my god, it’s like a foal fed you that line." Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis clapped her hooves together, making Shining Armor whip his head in her direction. When she saw that he was paying attention, she said in a sing-song manner, "Oh Shining! Time to let my children come in to play!"
"Yes, honey." Shining Armor nodded mechanically and activated his horn. As he did so, the light from the sun began to return to its normal white color as the shield outside Canterlot lowered.
“The end is here!” one pony shrieked as streaks of black began to fall from the sky. “Everypony for themselves!” More cries echoed their way into the room, followed by a quick boom. A few seconds later, a large cloud of dust billowed over the balcony.
“Sweet Celestia, they’re everywhere! Eat peach, you damn bugs!” A series of crashes, followed by a couple of hisses resounded from the street below. As more smashes reached the ears of the ponies in the castle, streaks of black shot past the balcony.
Shortly, a staccato of impacts shook the castle. More ponies screamed, and a stray magic blast lobbed off a section of the tower outside. It creaked and groaned, slowly sliding forward before toppling to the ground.
“It’s aliens! Aliens, I tell you! I don’t want to be probed!”
In a flash of green and black, a smaller bug descended and entered the throne room through the balcony. It saluted Chrysalis and said, "The invasion is going as planned, my queen! Soon all of Canterlot will be ours!"
During all this Celestia just lay back and sighed. Rubbing a hoof on her chest, she mused, "Should I stop this? No. Twilight and Cadance need a bit more practice." She watched as a few more changelings flew into the throne room, thankfully all ignoring her. "Luna and I are getting a bit too old for this." Her stomach grumbled, and she patted it. "Yes, yes, we'll eat soon."
"We still have you outnumbered, Chrysalis!" Twilight exclaimed. She looked behind her and gestured to the room filled with ponies. Some were already preparing for a brawl. A few in the back had ripped off their clothes and were screaming bloody murder at the changelings.
With another mocking laugh, Chrysalis answered, "Do you really?"
At that, the room was filled with blinding flashes of green light. Twilight's mouth sprang open as she saw that at least half the remaining audience were in fact changelings. The first ten rows of pews were suddenly filled with the bug-like creatures, and they began to swarm all over the room, flying this way and that.
A few changelings stuck to the walls and began to slink their way to the ceiling, where they could easily get free reign over the fight. The buzzing of the changeling soldiers’ wings drowned out most of the sounds of battle.
Celestia looked up from a book she had teleported in to read while this was going on. A large group of changelings were beginning to stalk toward her. Beads of sweat beginning to drip down her back, Celestia gulped. She pointed to the fracas in the room. "Go there!" she demanded. "I'm just over here, reading a book. I want no part in this!"
Ignoring her, the changelings pounced on her in a mess of hooves and wings. A few changelings went flying as Celestia shot them with her magic, but she was soon subdued and strung up in a sticky green cocoon. While she couldn't move, she could observe. As she watched the fight continue, she thought, "Well, buck."
Soon, the room quieted down. The changeling horde came out on top, a group of them slowly beginning to converge on Twilight and Cadance. With a heavy thwack, Cadance clobbered a changeling on the back of the head with both hooves, letting him fall into a pile of other unconscious bugs. Likewise, Twilight blasted a couple of the insectoid creatures with a beam of magic, knocking them to the floor and into one of the pews.
Slowly, they realized that they were the only two left standing, and they heard Chrysalis cackle. “Oh, it’s so much fun to toy with food.” She shot another blast of green magic at the pair, causing Twilight to dive to the ground. As the beam burst, Cadance barely dodged, the residual magic scorching the end of her tail.
She got to her hooves and trotted toward Twilight, then helped the unicorn up. As more changelings swarmed in and began to create additional cocoons to hold their captives, Cadance glanced at Twilight, calm assurance in her eyes. Gazing around, Twilight felt her heart sink and her chest tighten when she spied that no exits were available.
With a resounding crash, a changeling smacked into the exterior of one of the stained-glass windows in the throne room and slowly slid down. The whole room turned their attention to watch as the changeling shook their head and waved before they fell off the window. Chrysalis slammed a hoof to her face with a loud crack.
Turning her gaze to Cadance and Twilight, Chrysalis cackled. A swarm of changelings formed around her and began to inch toward the two ponies. Narrowing her eyes, she stared Cadance down, challenging her to attempt anything. As the changelings approached, Chrysalis chortled. "Alicorn or not, you must realize you are doomed." She narrowed her eyes and flashed Cadance a smug grin.
Cadance returned the glare. "Oh, I don't think so." With that, she grabbed Twilight by the torso. As her sister-in-law panicked, struggling to escape her magical grasp, Cadance readied her aim and then shot Twilight through the air like a javelin.
With a loud thud and a long skid, Twilight landed right at Shining's hooves. He remained quiet. Springing to her hooves, Twilight did the only thing she could think of and began to smack her brother with her hoof. He grunted once, his head bobbing back and forth like one of those cheap bobbleheads she saw at P-Mart.
All the changelings were too surprised by the move to react. One bug near Chrysalis leaned toward another and hissed, “Do you, uh, you know, think we should stop her?” She chittered and ruffled her wings.
In the best resemblance to a surprised eyebrow raise that he could muster, the other changeling quipped, “Are you kidding? You see her face?” He pointed at Twilight, who was still pounding her hoof into Shining’s face.
Slowly, a manic grin began to spread across her features, and she snickered, "Shining, stop hitting yourself!"
“I don’t want to get on that side of crazy!” the second changeling declared, taking a couple of steps back as Twilight bellowed a maniacal laugh. After that, she continued to smack Shining silly.
At first, Shining didn't react. Eventually, the sickly green began to fade from his eyes, and they widened as Twilight continued to punch him. His white muzzle growing red from the abuse, he finally managed to shake himself free. Rubbing his nose, he demanded, "What the hay, Twily?"
Suddenly, a massive wave of pain shot through him, and he wobbled on his hooves. Collapsing to the floor, he asked, "Can somepony give me the number on that yak?" He let his face fall onto the crystal surface. A muffled "Ow," reached Twilight's ears.
She squeaked when she felt Cadance grab the two of them with her magic and drag them back to the alicorn's side. Cadance bent down and lifted Shining's chin. Gently, she kissed his nose and pulled him into a hug. She sighed and wrapped her wings around the stallion. She grunted and ducked as a changeling charged her. Twilight quickly belted it away with a blast of magic.
"This changes nothing!" Chrysalis snapped, finally coming to her senses and realizing that her unwilling lackey was free of her control. "Three ponies versus an entire army? You're no match!"
"Oh, but I have backup," Cadance stated simply. She lit her horn. In a flash of blue magic, a giant piece of metal appeared in her grip. It had six thin barrels, small holes protruding at the end. Underneath the body, it had a large drum which fed a belt of long copper cartridges into the trigger mechanism.
"Uh..." Chrysalis muttered as she saw the minigun that Cadance had summoned.
Resting the gun on the ground, Cadance patted it lovingly. She teleported a small handkerchief and began to rub down the barrels, making sure they were nice and polished. She blew on it and brushed a hoof over a small scuff before checking her reflection in the weapon. Satisfied, she threw the handkerchief to the floor and grabbed the minigun with her magic.
She smacked it lightly and smiled at Chrysalis. "This is Flurry," she began, sending a few loving looks at the gun. "She weighs one hundred and ten kilos and fires twenty by one-oh-two millimeter cartridges at six thousand rounds per minute." Snickering, she checked the belt feed of the minigun and leveled a glare at Chrysalis, who was beginning to tremble. "So, I ask you, Chrysalis. Do you feel lucky?"
Gulping, Chrysalis asked, "W-what about the power of love?" She glanced between her soldiers, who were beginning to panic as well.
"Oh, it is the power of love," Cadance quipped. She looked down at Flurry and pulled the trigger of the minigun back slightly, getting the barrels to spin up. Glancing up at Chrysalis, she smiled smugly and added, "Just a love of bullets."
"All right! I love this plan!" Shining declared, trotting up next to his fiancée and igniting his own horn. Shortly, two gold-plated pistols floated next to him. He checked that the magazines were in and flicked off the safeties. "My Deagles have been itching to be used!" He sneered at the changelings.
With a shrug, Twilight lit her own horn, and a moment later she was holding an M4 beside her. She pulled back the bolt and loaded a cartridge into the chamber. Aiming down the sights, she adjusted the zero distance and lowered the barrel to avoid any accidental misfires. Last thing she needed was to hit Cadance or Shining in the flank just after she rescued them.
Looking between her soldiers, Chrysalis began to stutter. A few of the changelings glanced back and began to power their own horns. In a flash of magic, they were kitted in armor and wielding their own firearms, their weapons of choice being the AK-47 and variants. A loud clicking of safeties and bolts being drawn echoed throughout the throne room. Some of the changelings juggled a few grenades.
From her vantage point in the cocoon, Celestia inwardly groaned. If she could break free, she'd definitely put a stop to things immediately. "They're going to ruin my castle," she grumbled to herself. She tried to cross her hooves, but the cocoon was too tight for her to do more than wiggle slightly. "What kind of monsters have I raised?"
Chortling as she saw her army was ready for a fight, Chrysalis powered her horn and teleported in an AK-47 and RPG-7. She readied the gun and twisted the missile in the launcher into position. After checking that her weapons were ready, her wings began to buzz loudly, and she floated just above her soldiers and glared at the opposing side.
The seconds slowly passed. The two sides stared each other down. More changelings gathered at the front, their mission of securing the prisoners in the room done. They also summoned firearms of their own.
Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight saw Cadance nod. Glancing to Shining, she jerked her head to the side and agreed. A bit of sweat trickled down her forehead and into her eye, causing her to blink furiously. She licked her chapped lips and waited for Cadance's signal.
With a loud bellow, Cadance summoned a shield spell in front of her, leaving only a small hole for the barrels of Flurry to spit lead. "For Equestria!" she screamed, pulling the trigger of the minigun and cackling as bullets spewed forth from the weapon, instantly mowing down a row of changeling soldiers.
Twilight and Shining dove for pews on opposite ends of the room, knocking them over and using them for cover. Popping her head above the pew, Twilight squinted down her iron sights and took a few quick shots at some changeling soldiers. She managed to hit one right between the eyes.
At their comrade's death, the surrounding changelings scowled. One pulled the pin on a grenade and let it fly toward the unicorn, who ducked back behind her cover. A few seconds after it landed, there was an explosion, and Twilight covered her ears.
Ringing filling her hearing, she floated her M4 above her head and fired blindly. Soon, she checked from her cover to see if she hit anything. Luckily, her spraying had managed to take out the remaining changelings near her. A large pool of sticky green blood was beginning to puddle on the crystal floor.
Nearly gagging, Twilight turned her attention to another section of the fray and began to fire into it. More changelings were arriving from the streets of Canterlot, reinforcing the fight with their own weapons.
Chrysalis had dove behind the altar and had called some of her guard to form a barrier around her. Every so often, she peeked her head above the guards and fired a few shots. She aimed at Cadance, but the bullets harmlessly bounced off the shield. Futilely, she leveled volley after volley at the alicorn. When her gun clicked, she snarled and threw it to the side. It bounced off the helmets of one of her few armored soldiers. The changeling’s skull clanged as the gun impacted him.
He squeaked for a second, wobbling on his hooves before collapsing to the floor. Woozily, he stuck his tongue out and muttered, “Mother? I don’t want to play with Gossamer, they make me eat dirt.”
Growling, Chrysalis floated her RGP up to her shoulder and steadied it. After a second, she chuckled as she pressed the trigger. In a cloud of smoke, the rocket zoomed toward its target, impacting Cadance’s shield with a thundering explosion and sending soot and dust in every direction.
With a cry, Cadance fed more power into the shield. Sweat poured down her face as the blue wall of magic throbbed with light. A few cracks were beginning to form in it, but she still stood her ground. Her voice boomed over the cacophony of the battle as she screamed insult after insult at the changeling swarm.
Shining occasionally sprang up from behind cover to fire both pistols at the soldiers. Whenever he hit one, it would fly across the room from the force of the high-caliber bullet. A couple changelings went sailing through the stained-glass depiction of Twilight and her friends reforming Nightmare Moon.
"No, no, no, no!" Celestia fumed as she watched the carnage unfold. "Do you know how long it will take to get all the changeling blood out of the carpet?" She blinked as another changeling went flying and smacked directly into her cocoon. It groaned and fell off, leaving a dark smear on the slimy, transparent walls.
She winced as she heard another explosion and saw a bit of the roof of the castle collapse. A few changelings screamed as the ceiling crushed them, ending their short lives with a resounding splat.
She noticed a changeling toss a grenade, which landed behind Twilight who managed to react in time and send it flying toward its owner. Before that changeling could think, it exploded and sent bug parts in all directions. A wing slapped into the cocoon and stuck.
Groaning, Celestia thought, "I just need a vacation." She turned her thoughts to potential locations. All the big names were out of the question as she'd just be hounded all day by paparazzi. "Maybe Ponyville?" she suggested to herself.
Shaking her head, she hissed when she whammed her skull against the walls of her cocoon. Rubbing a temple, she mused, "No, Twilight would go insane making sure my stay was the best it could be." She hummed to herself. The noise reverberated inside the cocoon, and she pondered her options further. "How about Appleloosa? A nice rustic getaway." She stuck out her tongue. "But they're near those stinky buffalo. Blech!"
Suddenly, a poster she saw recently came to mind. "Hmm, Our Town sounds homey. Just what I need to relax and unwind." She sighed and muttered to herself, "And I heard there's a powerful unicorn there. Maybe I could use her to replace Twilight? She's probably a lot more mentally stable if she can lead a town." Chuckling to herself, she thought, "'Our Town.' Sounds so friendly."
A realization came to her, causing her expression to fall. Moaning, she fussed to herself, "But it's near Nova Griffonia. That's a long trip just to go to a small town. Probably don't have anything exciting there." Frowning, she wondered to herself, "Still, if this... oh, what was her name? Glimlight Star? If she has a whole community of friends, I should probably make sure Twilight heads there at some point. Maybe she could get a few pointers."
Another piece of changeling smacked into Celestia's cocoon, and she grunted to herself. Below, the throne room was filled with smoke and clouds of dust. Cadance was still standing in the middle of the floor, firing into the fray. Mounds of cartridges were piled around her, and her minigun's barrels were orange with heat.
Twilight had found new cover behind some debris and was firing haphazardly toward the changeling soldiers. She charged her horn and hurled a ball of magical energy at a group of invaders that were arriving from outside.
Piles of changelings were stacking high in the throne room, but their assault was endless. Chrysalis was ordering her soldiers to continue their attack as she sprung out from behind her guard and fired her RPG at the ponies.
Cadance ducked out of the way as the missile went soaring into the wall of the castle, punching a massive hole and letting in the late day sun. Clambering to her hooves, Cadance powered her shield again and began to fire more lead from Flurry into the changeling horde.
Shining was hiding behind some more debris and occasionally popping out to take some well-aimed shots at the enemy. He managed to snipe a few changelings who were preparing to throw some grenades, causing the explosives to take out more of the insect-like creatures.
At the chaos, Celestia groaned. "Mother of me, these ponies drive me to drink." Her ears perking up, she wiggled a bit in the tight confines. If she could, she’d smack her forehooves together. “Oh, silly me!” Her horn glowing a bright yellow, she summoned in a bottle of wine. It barely managed to fit in front of her face.
Popping the cork, she managed to take a sip by stretching her neck up and spreading her lips around the end of the bottle. She sighed as her horn poked through the top of the cocoon. “You know what?” she mused to herself, adjusting her back as best she could. “I could get used to this. It’s comfy, actually.”
Another changeling flew into the air, screaming at the top of his lungs. Celestia assumed it was a he, anyway. Admittedly, it was hard to tell if it was shrieking like a mare, or if it was a mare. Would they even call themselves mares and stallions? Celestia shook her head. She’d have to ponder the perplexing changeling pronouns later. Now, it was time to put the worries of the day, heck, the week behind her.
With a thundering crash, the changeling collided with one of the pillars by the balcony, causing it to collapse in a heap of stones. For a moment, the rubble settled, a few stones clattering to the floor. After a moment, some of the smaller pebbles began to shift.
Soon, one of the chunks of the pillar rolled away, and the changeling staggered forward a few feet. He shook his head and wobbled on his hooves. Trying to stay up, he rapidly buzzed his wings before toppling over. Woozily, he powered his horn for a second, a small white flag attached on a stick falling on his head. Grabbing the flag in his teeth, he jabbed it into one of the holes in his leg and weakly jostled it around.
“Dear Faust, I really need a day off.” Celestia guzzled a bit more of the wine, burping as she pulled back the bottle. She yawned and twitched her wings a bit. “Maybe just a nap will fix everything,” she concluded, closing her eyes and letting her mind begin to drift. “Besides, if things go really wrong, Luna is around to solveit. She shouldn’t go overboard. Hopefully.”
Suddenly, there was a loud thud beside her cocoon. Willing that it wasn’t what she thought it was, she inched her eyelid open and huffed. A new changeling unit had arrived and dropped another cocoon next to Celestia’s. As they joined the fray, she peered at its occupant. She groaned. If she could have smashed her head into a wall, she would.
Luna lay in the other cocoon, her hooves plastered tightly to her chest. A blank look on her face suggested that she was just as surprised as Celestia. After a few seconds, she winced and flashed Celestia a nervous grin.
After Luna gave a soft chuckle, she muttered, “Hello, sister, We were not expecting to see you so soon.” Luna’s voice reverberated in her cocoon, giving it a vibrato quality to Celestia’s ears.
“Luna,” Celestia grunted, leveling her sister with a harsh glare. Luna winced and folded back her ears. Her voice quivering slightly, Celestia continued, “How did they get you?” Slowly, she let out a long, drawn out sigh. She would remain calm. For now.
“Well, sister,” Luna began, barely a squeak above the cacophony outside the two cocoons. Pausing for a second, she shook herself as best she could in the tight confines. More steadily, she stated, “How dost We say it? We were… preoccupied?”
“You were literally supposed to be watching for threats, Luna!” Celestia huffed, shifting her forearm a few centimeters. Unfortunately, she could not make her hoof meet her muzzle. Or Luna’s, for that matter.
“‘Twas not Our issue!” Luna protested, a soft blush forming on her face. Through the cocoon walls, it appeared an off-shade of orange. Coughing, Luna choked out, “We were busy on the royal throne.”
“You don’t have a throne yet, Luna,” Celestia retorted. If Luna was on her throne again, touching her precious pillows, Luna would be getting acquainted with the moon’s surface posthaste.
Choking on a bit of spit, Luna avoided Celestia’s gaze and muttered, “Not thy royal throne, sister. The other royal throne.” For a second, she remained silent. She cracked a faint smile. “Verily, the changelings wert exceedingly patient. We doth appreciate their kindness in letting Us finish Our business.” When Celestia glared at her, Luna laughed uneasily, shifting her eyes left and right. “We apologize for the inconvenience.”
“Oh, for buck’s sake!” Celestia snorted as she rolled her eyes.
FIN
Author's Note
Well, this took longer than I originally anticipated to come out. Wrote this back in July, as a one-off idea. Somehow managed to turn a 400ish word outline into a 6k word monstrosity, that further editing brought to 10k. 
Normally, I'm not one for alternate ending fics, but this was just a stupid idea that came to mind and I rolled with it. Needless to say, I had some fun throwing in allusions the later seasons, as that's part of the enjoyment of writing from the future (of the show, anyway).
Once again, I want to thank EverfreePony for their editing contributions, and sneaky_boi for pre-reading.
Although this isn't very Christmasy, I wish everyone who reads this a Merry Christmas regardless! 
T4E
