Too Big Mac

Big Mac once again woke with pain. His dick burned in its sheath from overuse, and he could feel his heartbeat in his thoroughly depleted testicles. He realized he'd been woken up by somepony knocking and he shook his mind awake. He unstuck himself from the sheets and from his wife, then limped to the open doorway. He saw the door sitting on the ground several feet from the shattered door frame. He winced at the memory but groggily greeted the pony standing in the open door way. He noticed the pony standing there had a smile that was a little too wide. His mane looked like it had been hastily smoothed back down, his suit jacket had dull stains on it. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and his bag laden eyes twitched slightly.

He cheerily introduced himself in a voice shaky with stress. "Hi my name is Warm Welcome. I'm guest relations here at Sunny Sands resort. How are you? Do you have enough champagne? Are you enjoying the amenities? Good? Good!" Big Mac tried to answer each question as it was asked, but never got to answer before this strange stallion dropped to his knees and desperately begged with his hooves folded. "PLEASE LEAVE!" he shouted, tears in his eyes. Big Mac took a step back in surprise. "I know the princess sent you, but half of my staff can't walk and the other half is pregnant! I can't feel my fucking legs. PLEASE TAKE HER AWAY FROM UH HUH HUH HUUUUS!" he pleaded desperately.

Sugar Belle limped up beside her husband. "We were just leaving today."

The resort pony gasped in relief. "Oh THANK YOU! THANK TWILIGHT! THANK YOU!" He said bowing and scraping pathetically. The young couple limped hoof in hoof towards their hut and everywhere they went they saw scenes of lust and debauchery too lewd for words. Mares twitched in a daze, fluid leaking out of every hole. Stallions passed out, testicles shriveled up to prunes. Here a mare who's ass had been spanked so hard the Apples weren't sure she'd ever walk again. There a stallion tied up in bondage gear and abandoned. The sound of groaning was omnipresent, and they felt mildly guilty for unleashing this demon of lust upon the resort.

They made it back to their hut and noticed the door was ajar. On the bed and all around was a mass of flesh and limbs, one pony indistinguishable from the next, every face the same glazed over expression of being utterly satiated. The large heart shaped bed lay at an angle, the frame having given out from the strain of so many writhing ponies. The Apples couldn't extract their luggage, as every satchel was either stained beyond recognition, or was being used as a pillow by the exhausted ponies on the floor. Throbbing Heart lay in the center of a pile of no less than twenty ponies, legs tangled in a giant mass, stuck together with various dried fluids. Sugar Belle gently nudged Throbbing Heart awake with her magic and said telepathically, "Umm sorry to wake you but it's time to go." Throbbing Heart stretched and suddenly everypony in the room, minus the Apples, rose as one, the golden ring adorning every eye. They marched out in lock step carrying Throbbing Heart out on their shoulders.

Throbbing Heart crooned, "I just have to tie up some loose ends and I'll meet you at the boat." The Apples cowered in fear at the power of the sex therapist. They made their way to the ship through a crowd of ponies, who all seemed oddly depressed about something. They took their places on the deck when they saw Throbbing Heart galloping at a dead sprint towards them. Sugar Belle heard in her mind, "Start the boat. Start The Boat! START THE BOAT!!!" The apples looked and saw a group of ponies chasing after her. The crowd on the dock all cheered, many with tears in their eyes.

The ship began to pull away from the dock and Throbbing Heart lept out towards it. Sugar Belle went to catch her in her magic but six pegasus flew up and caught her before she could. She was set down gently on the deck and gave each of them a short farewell kiss. She moved to the railing and blew kisses at the assembled crowd. Many held up signs as they waved goodbye. One said, "Cum back soon!" Another said, "I'll wait for you!" Sugar Belle grew greatly concerned that one actually read, "I'm pregnant with your foal. Please don't leave!!!" but she decided not to mention it. They made their way back to Ponyville by comfortable stages and every once in a while the Apple couple slipped away to the bathroom together to have naughty sex. They'd apparently missed their chance to do so at the resort, so they felt the need to make up for lost time. They stepped off the train at Ponyville station where princess Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Granny Smith, and Applebloom greeted them cheerily.

Throbbing Heart pulled princess Twilight to the side and spoke to her in soliloquy.

Rainbow Dash asked excitedly, "So did it work? Did youuuu. . . " She nudged Sugar Belle with her elbow, and wiggled her eyebrows.

Throbbing Heart's horn lit and touched the end of Twilight's horn.

The young couple smiled, took each other's hooves, and nodded.

Twilight shook her head in horror, and her horn flared angrily.

The assembled ponies cheered, and the Apples shared a prolonged hug. Big Mac looked around, but couldn't find Applejack.

Starlight Glimmer appeared in front of Twilight who shouted something unintelligible at her, and she cringed in fear.

Applebloom interjected "Oh she's back on the farm waiting to give ya y'all's surprise!"

A short magic fight broke out as Starlight Glimmer tried to teleport away, but Twilight Sparkle had studied all her tricks since they became friends.

Rainbow Dash piped up, "We worked all week on it. Let's go!"

Twilight Sparkle opened a portal to tartarus and a screaming Starlight Glimmer was tossed bodily in.

The group slowly made their way to Sweet Apple Acres and the young couple were led to a brand new farm house with extra rooms for the foals who were soon to fill it. The young couple gawked that they'd managed to build the whole thing in less than a week. They squeezed everypony in a giant group hug and thanked them with tears in their eyes. Rainbow Dash smirked, "Yeah well A.J. wanted a place for y'all to be exiled to if the plan failed so. . . " The young couple blushed slightly.

Big Mac made to open the door, but the handle swung inwards and a very unamused Applejack stood there, stern faced. Big Mac signaled for Sugar Belle to wait, and he approached his sister. The two stared intensely at each other for a long moment. Applejack raised an eyebrow and Big Mac nodded. Applejack sighed hard and sagged visibly with relief. She began to tear up and grabbed her brother in a tight hug, crying into his shoulder at their ordeal finally being over.

The young couple were led around their new home and were told about all the features and amenities. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your point of view, the young couple were at the back of the line of ponies on the tour, so when they saw the master bedroom, they both gave each other a mischievous grin, and stealthily shut the door behind them. Rarity turned to show one of the walk in closets she'd insisted on them including in the construction, and noticed they were no longer in the group. Everypony looked about wondering where they were, when Granny Smith started to cackle to herself.

"Ah think we should let the newlyweds git settled." They went to file out of Macintosh Manor, as Rarity had insisted on calling it, when their ears were assaulted by a horrible creaking of furniture, and pleasure moans that Sugar Belle failed to stifle in her passion. Every cheek but Granny Smith's blushed at what they heard. Their normally soft spoken friend was saying things that even made Rainbow Dash blush. The group began to pick up their pace, when they were stopped suddenly by the reappearance of Throbbing Heart at the door.

Applejack was caught between a rock and a hard place. She couldn't stay another second within earshot of her sister in law, but she wanted nothing to do with the mare standing in front of her, levitating a letter out to her. She appreciated the help she'd been to her family sure, but the incident in the barn was unexcusable, whether or not she'd enjoyed it was irrelevant. She stared hard at the sex therapist who held her gaze unflinching. This delicious mare was going to take her letter come tartarus or high water. When Applejack heard her own dear brother actually say, "That's raght ya dirty bitch, choke on it!" the dam burst and Applejack groaned hard as she snatched the letter out of the air and galloped away from the scene of such depravity. It was Throbbing Heart and Rarity's turn to stare for a long moment before, to the surprise of all involved they both bowed to each other and the sex therapist left without another word.

Pinkie Pie stepped forward eyebrow raised in confusion? "Wait Rarity and Throb-chan aren't going to make up and have reconciliation humps?!" Her face fell. "But Dan will be so disappointed!"

Twilight, even though she should know better by now, couldn't help but turn and ask, "Who?"

"Oh it's just Pinkie Pie," Rainbow Dash said as she snatched Pinkie Pie into the air to get some much needed relief of sexual tension.

The young couple christened their new home all that afternoon. . . And all evening. .. and all night. Even the next day during the harvest a bleary eyed Big Mac kept sneaking off to go plow his mare. Applejack never had to see his penis, and that was all well and good, but she wasn't sure if hearing the constant din of their passion was any better. She figured out that it was worse when she didn't sleep a wink that night. Even with the Macintosh Manor on the complete opposite side of the orchard, Applejack still couldn't drown out the sound of furniture creaking, flesh slapping, and the most obscene language Applejack had ever heard her brother or her sister-in-law use.

Applejack once again breathed a silent prayer to any god that would listen to please, pretty please, for Mercy's sake, just kill her now. Khorne stomped forwards, a pleading Slaanesh hanging on one arm, and a weaseling Tzeentch hanging on the other, but their protests and petitions were in vain. "SHE HAS TO DIE! SHE SAID PLEASE!!!" The blood god screamed as he raised his chain axe to strike. Right before he could plant his weight to strike however, Nurgle plopped down on the enraged lord of war.

Applejack decided since she wasn't going to get any sleep to just read the letter she'd tried to ignore. "Caint be any worse then what Ah'm hearin already." She broke the wax seal and read by candlelight.

"Ms Apple.

I sincerely apologise for the incident in the barn, but you were being rude about my profession and I lost my temper."

Applejack ground her teeth together. This mare had the presumption to turn her family into a couple of sex fiends, then say SHE was being rude.

"Though that is the subject of this letter. You see Ms Apple, when you're in somepony's head you cannot lie to them, and what I saw in your head concerns somepony I still care very deeply about." Applejack blushed at the memory of what she'd screamed in the barn.

"In another fit of anger many years ago I performed the same process on an acquaintance of yours, and what I saw in her head certainly wasn't me. I never saw the vision clearly, but I do know for certain that it was an earth pony. A very well toned earth pony. A female earth pony. Who wore a hat. Hint hint.

She is the very best of mares Ms Apple. Though I ruined my chance with her, I sincerely believe you could make her very happy. I've seen the deepest parts of your mind Ms Apple,I know you will treat her right. I submit to the superior mare.

Enviously yours,

Throbbing Heart, Doctor of Psychology"

P.S. I fucked the living shit out of Sugar Belle and your brother eat a dick!"

Applejack was so overwhelmed by emotion that her mind imploded into zen state of focus. She needed to be not here, and she had an idea of a much nicer place to be. She walked slowly and deliberately to carousel boutique. She knocked, and a long while later a groggy Rarity, face mask, curlers, and all answered the door. "Applejack darling! It's three in the morning, what ever is the matter?"

Applejack trotted in right past the groggy mare. "Rares, we gotta talk." The two spent a passionate night together and made Rarity's unique style of sweet gentle love until dawn. The candle on the night stand burned low as Applejack reread the letter.

Rarity rolled over and draped a foreleg across her tone stomach. "What are you reading love? She asked then kissed the farm pony's heart.

Applejack looked down on her victory prize snuggled up cozy to her, secure in the knowledge that she truly loved her, and chuckled to herself. "Oh nuthin shug." She held the letter up to the fire and let the ash collect on the candle stick holder. "Nuthin at all."