Too Big Mac

The young couple set their luggage down in their hut and took in the surroundings. Twilight had once again very generously donated a week's vacation, this time at a lovely resort in Haywaii, royal fiat has its privileges. The couple had their own hut right on the waterfront. If they wanted at anytime, they could simply leap over the railing and into the beautiful blue ocean below. Not to mention the huts were far enough away that nopony could hear anypony else if things got romantic. Being friends with royalty had its perks.

Our couple however could only enjoy the scenery in passing as they were far too nervous about the ordeal ahead. They loved each other very much, and had promised whole heartedly to see this through to the end; but the idea of having somepony watching and instructing them on how to make love was still the single most awkward thing either of them had ever had to deal with. Just as they got settled Throbbing Heart entered through the still open door greeting them cheerily. "Ello you two! So let's get started right away. The first part's the worst part, and it's good to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.

Sugar Belle went through a short panic. "Uum what? Now? Right now?! I mean we j-just got here. Don't we wanna get accommodated, or take in the uh the uh the uh."

Heart donned a mischievous, seductive smile. She started strutting towards Sugar Belle letting lust drip from every word.
"Oh don't worry my dear. I'm here to walk you through it hoof in hoof," she said slowly backing Sugar Belle up against the wall. The young bride started to breath heavily, and for reasons she couldn't explain, she was starting to feel herself getting excited. She would never cheat on Big Mac though right? And this mare had promised that she wouldn't do anything sexual to them hadn't she? But in this state Sugar Belle couldn't have said no if she'd wanted to. This pony, this mare that had convinced them to go to a secluded hut, on an island, where nopony could hear them. Was it all an elaborate trap?

Big Mac ground his teeth. He'd known this mare was shifty. Making moves on his wife. He'd show her. He made the motion of sliding a sleeve up his massive foreleg, and stomped forward ready to throw this seducer out by her mane and tail, when suddenly a gigantic stack of papers landed in his hooves. Big Mac for all his prodigious strength staggered under its weight.

Throbbing Heart giggled and released the quivering bride from her sensual clutches. "Just teasing dears." She levitated the large stack of papers back out of Big Mac's hooves and sat down on a chair by a small writing table. She divided the column of paper into two large stacks and levitated one over to the young couple. "What's all this?" Sugar Belle asked, turning over one of the papers in the immense pile.

"Legal paperwork." Back in Canterlot, Princess Twilight Sparkle's ear pricked up, she suddenly felt like she was missing something deliciously tedious. "This is a very delicate process with many moving parts, so I need proven informed consent. So before I begin I must go over all of this with you and explain every last detail of the process, and get your permission to do so. Each individual part signed. In duplicate. One for my records, and one for yours." The paperwork itself had been drawn out for her gratis by a client of her's whom she'd counseled. A lawyer and his wife who were on the brink of an atomic divorce but with her counselling were still madly in love, and on their sixth foal.

The three spent the entire morning going over volumes of head spinning legal jargon that we need not repeat here, save for a few interesting episodes. The young couple balked that this unicorn was asking for their explicit permission to "probe their minds." "Why do y'all need to see into are brains?!" Big Mac had shouted incredulously.

"I need to be able to see your sexual history from a first person perspective. A pony can lie about what they have and haven't done, so it's necessary to see first hoof what you've experienced, and more importantly, how you feel about it. This process is more psychological than physical. Remember, most of arousal is in the mind.''

A short time later it was Sugar Belle's turn to spring to her hooves in disbelief. "NO! I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO CONTROL MY BODY!"

Consummate professional that Throbbing Heart was, didn't even flinch at the shocked outburst. "Mrs. Macintosh, the spell for passive kinesthetic control is a very delicate spell that is broken the second the host body desires." At that moment a room service pegasus wheeled in lunch, and her face went beet red at recognizing Throbbing Heart.

"Oh! Umm hello Throbs! I umm." She turned her face away and fanned her burning cheeks with her wing. "I didn't know YOU were in! You should've let us know you'd be coming by."

Throbbing Heart smiled placidly. "Grass Skirt, would you mind kindly demonstrating P.K.C. to the young couple here?"

The flustered pegasus beamed. "Oh I didn't know you were working. Of course! I'd be delighted!" she said enthusiastically.

"Marvelous! Now the Apple couple here is strictly off limits do you understand?"

"Of course!" Grass Skirt said with a hint of reproach in her tone. "You know I'd never interfere with your work."

"Splendid," Throbbing Heart said as her horn lit up and Grass Skirt's eyes gained a golden ring around them. The pegasus began to giggle as she was puppeted to pat her head and rub her stomach. She went to the lunch tray she'd brought in and picked up the little candle in its glass globe. She made like she was about to drink the hot wax, but suddenly stopped, and the golden ring around her eyes disappeared.

"Now why didn't you drink the wax?" the unicorn said nonchalantly.

"Because it would burn me." The pegasus said matter-of-factly.

"Quite right. Now again?'' the unicorn asked, and the pegasus nodded fervently. She rather enjoyed Throbbing Heart's tricks. The golden ring reappeared around Grass Skirt's eyes and she walked slowly over to Throbbing Heart. The two began to kiss deeply, exploring each other's mouths with their tongues, both moaning softly as they did so. The Apple couple couldn't help but stare at the lewd display, faces flushed, both growing uncomfortably aroused at the sight.

After an overlong moment of enjoying each other's flavour, they disconnected and Grass Skirt walked slowly over to Big Macintosh, who awkwardly tried to hide his burgeoning erection behind a throw pillow. She lifted his muzzle with a wing tip and turned her head to kiss him, but before their faces met the gold ring from her eyes vanished, and she stopped her advance. Her face lit up in a grin, and she giggled hard. "Now why didn't you kiss him?" the unicorn asked.

"Because you just said he was off limits." She said, still giggling.

"But you kissed me." The sex therapist said in a mock accusing tone.

The pegasus face lit up again and she giggled. "That's because I very much enjoy kissing you," she said, bashfully turning her face away.

"Hmm yes I know." Throbbing Heart chuckled. "Now if you would please excuse us," she said, and she slapped Grass Skirt's petite ass with her magic.

The pegasus yelped, and turned towards the couple who had been held hostage by this lewd demonstration. "Don't you two worry about a thing." She took Sugar Belle's hooves in her own. "You're in very VERY capable hooves." Throbbing Heart winked at the pegasus, and she exited, letting her ass sway just a bit more than normal. "Don't forget to look me up before you go 'kay?" she called back over her shoulder.

The three finished their paperwork shortly after lunch, and the mentally exhausted ponies groaned for joy at the ordeal being passed. Sugar Belle stretched her muscles, sore from sitting in the same position for so long. "So now what happens?" she asked, too tired to care about the possibility of now being the moment of truth.

"Now the two of you are in the perfect state of mind and body to go relax. I need the two of you calm and passive for the sexual history probe, and now I bet a massage sounds heavenly no? So go and get pampered, and I'll come find you later."
The Apple couple were surprised at this pony's tact. She'd killed two birds with one stone. She needed them relaxed for the next step in the process, and all they wanted in the world right now was to relax.

The couple made their way to the spa and got a full treatment. Coats groomed, mud baths, the tiniest pixy of a pony to walk on Sugar Belle's back, and a gigantic mare from Stalliongrad to stomp heavily on Big Macintosh's hardened muscles. Years of stress and tension melted away under their skilled hooves and suddenly the whole ordeal seemed somehow less daunting. Just as our young couple felt too relaxed to move they saw Throbbing Heart enter and give somepony one last lingering farewell kiss. "Ah I see you two are comfortable."

"Howdy m~" Big Macintosh said while trying and failing to get up from the massage table. "Uuuh sorry ma'am. Can't quite summon the will to rise just yet," he said, mildly embarrassed.

"Oh that's perfectly fine. It's better to do so while still at the most relaxed. That's why I prefer to do it in massage rooms. I can't tell you how many times I've had to hire private masseuses just to help my clients relax and open their minds. So just lay your head back down and we can begin."

Sugar Belle looked pensively at the sex therapist. "So umm. . . What's gonna happen to us." She'd paid attention during the explanation of the paperwork but she was still a bit hazy on the details.

Throbbing Heart smiled. "It's very simple. I'm going to comb through your memories specifically related to sex or arousal backwards chronologically. From your most recent stiffies, to your first wet dreams, to when you got the talk. Big Mac, I assume you'd like to go first. Just to make sure your wife isn't going to have to do something you wouldn't want her to have to go through."

The stolid earth pony thought on this proposition for a moment. "Eeyup."

Sugar Belle, still lying on her massage table, reached over and took Big Mac's hoof in her own. "Good luck Mac n Cheese."

Big Mac smiled. "Ah love you Sugar Booger."

Throbbing Heart couldn't help but tear up at the saccharine sweetness of the moment. "That's what it's all about isn't it. Alright Big Mac, just relax. Here we go." She shut her eyes and touched her lit horn to the top of Big Mac's head. She stood there for several seconds breathing lightly then stumbled away as if confused. "HUH?!" She asked bewildered.
The young couple looked at her then at each other in concern. They asked what's wrong and she responded. "No no! It's fine I. . . I just must have done the spell wrong. One moment just. . . Just let me try again."

She repeated the action and then jerked back as if startled. "That can't be!" She grabbed Big Mac's face and looked him intensely in the eyes. "Mr Macintosh, are you seriously telling me you had NO SEXUAL HISTORY before this mare?"

Big Macintosh seemed more startled than embarrassed as he answered, "Eenope. That's sumpin ya does ta yer spouse. Twerent no fuss er nuthin."

The sex therapist wasn't satisfied. "But NOTHING?! SERIOUSLY?! No awkward boner at the swimming hole, no wet dreams of your sister's friends, just NOTHING?!" she screamed.

Big Macintosh's demeanor didn't change. "Eenope."

Throbbing Heart put a hoof to her heart and staggered back several steps. She fell backwards onto her haunches and stared at the giant earth pony. The couple once again exchanged worried looks. Sugar Belle asked. "Is that bad?"

Throbbing Heart looked in surprise at the question and quickly shook her head. "No no no! Nothing like that. Nothing bad. It's just. . . To think that a pony with a clearly healthy sex drive can go a lifetime without ever having one sexual experience it's." She fished for the right metaphor. "It's like seeing a pony who'se been bed ridden their whole life getting up and dancing a jig, with no muscular atrophy. It's just. . . Odd. Mrs Macintosh, you should consider yourself a very VERY lucky mare. To have found a big strong husband who'se never known the love of another mare." She said in a suggestive voice, "Not to mention his other qualities. If I didn't see it with my own eyes I wouldn't believe it."

Sugar Belle smiled and retook her husband's hoof. "Yes, I'm the luckiest mare in the world." The two shared a long loving look and sighed contentedly.

Throbbing Heart put her game face back on. "Well that went much. . . MUCH faster than anticipated, so now it's your turn ma'am."

Sugar Belle's face became determined. "I'm ready." She nodded at her husband who nodded back.

"Very good! Now just relax," the sex therapist said as her horn glowed again, and she touched it gently to Sugar Belle's head. She looked and saw herself and Grass Skirt kissing and smiled that it had aroused both her and her husband. She looked back further to the tragic night of their first honeymoon. Everything had been perfect, they'd kissed deeply his massive member had. HOLY CELESTIA! IT'S LIKE A FIFTH LEG! The terror she felt by proxy was unnerving. They hadn't done any foreplay, which seeing Big Mac's history was not surprising, but she had been more than wet enough, but even with the right amount of preparation there was no way in tartarus that that monster was going to fit in that hole without assistance.

She looked back further and saw Sugar Belle's days in Starlight Glimmer's cult and. She once again disconnected violently and had to try hard not to vomit. "Starlight Glimmer is A MONSTER!" she screamed once she'd regained her composure. "That colt will have trust issues for the rest of his life! If he ever walks again."

Sugar Belle held up her hooves defensively. "I know she was evil back then, but she's changed. Now she's good!"

Throbbing Heart rounded on Sugar Belle. "No! What she did was criminal, and she needs to be punished for it. First thing when you get back you need to tell Princess Twilight to have her arrested!" She shuddered violently, but tried to regain her composure. "Alright let's continue." She reconnected her thoughts to the chain of memories and slipped past. . . THAT. . . That poor colt. She saw her school days and intense make out sessions with coltfriends, which did get hot and heavy, but they never went all the way.

She saw lonely nights with posters of celebrity ponies, though it once again surprised her to see that Sugar Belle had never figured out the art of flicking the bean. These two belonged together. She dimmed her horn and the three looked at each other. "Well Mr and Mrs Macintosh, I can say unequivocally that you two are the perfect couple. Neither one of you has had an orgasm, and you are adorably in love. I have no doubt in my mind this task will be a success.

The young couple cheered and embraced. "Now you two, feel free to enjoy your evening and we'll reconvene after dinner at your hut tomorrow. I on the other hoof NEED something after that." She levitated both masseuses away from the desk and out the door with her. The young couple couldn't help but chuckle.