Too Big Mac

"What do you mean we can't see each other?" Sugar Belle asked desperately. She clung to her husband as tightly as she could from her prone position, ice bag still pressed firmly against her ass.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you need time to let yourself recuperate from tonight." Throbbing Heart said, for only the second time since they'd met without the slightest bit of mirth in her voice. "You're going to have to be away from each other at some point in your marriage, a business trip, family needs help, something. And you two have been together conceivably every moment since you stood in front of the mayor. You need to have some space apart to really need each other tomorrow. I need the both of you in the right frame of mind for this to work, and to get there you need to see each other as little as possible. In fact," she levitated over her room key to Big Macintosh. "I'd like you to sleep separately if you're willing."

Sugar Belle felt tears well up in her eyes as she clung to her husband. "But . . . But"

Big Mac held her tight as a few stray tears leaked out. "Don't y'all worry about nothin. T.H. says that tomorrow it'll all be worth it."

"Yes," she stood up and took Sugar Belle's hooves in her own. "Are you ready to be a true wife to your husband?" Sugar Belle could only nod as the tears fell limply to the bed spread. "Then he'll need you to be strong for him. Can you do that Mrs Macintosh?" Sugar Belle inhaled sharply and whispered softly in acquiescence. "I'm very proud of you," she stood up and looked between them. "Of you both! You both have come such a long way, and I know you two are going to have a wonderfully successful marriage." She clapped her hooves together.

Her face once again grew serious. "Now I expect both of you to behave yourselves. That means no clopping, no secret rendezvous, in fact I want you two to stay on opposite ends of the resort if you possibly can." She tore a map of the resort in half and presented each with their respective halves. "Mr Macintosh, you'll be staying on this half, and Sugar Belle here's your's."

Big Mac took his small overnight bag and followed Throbbing Heart out of the hut, stopping to give his wife one last lingering farewell kiss as she lay on the bed. She closed the door behind them, and suddenly the honeymoon suite felt far too large to be comfortable without her Mac and Cheese with her. She began to gently cry again.

Big Mac looked around the comfortably furnished room he'd been led to, but something didn't feel right. "Umm ma'am? Did y'all get this room just for me tonight? It doesn't look like it's been lived in fer four naghts," he said rubbing a hoof on the back of his head bashfully.

"No this one was mine, just. . . " She gained a distant look. "I prefer the beds of. . . Other's" She grinned at him. Big Mac began to get an uncomfortable erection at her tone. She giggled to herself as she turned towards the door. "Speaking of which, I'm going. Wish me luck." And with that she was gone. Big Macintosh was left alone. With nothing to do. Neither the bride nor the groom slept a wink that night, both lay in their beds tossing and turning, missing each other.

Big Macintosh groggily got to his hooves just before dawn. "Iff'n I ain't gonna sleep, may as well not sleep not in a bed." He washed his face and looked at the map he'd been given. The tears on the map obscured several resort attractions, including but not limited to the entire beach side of the resort, goodbye anything to do with swimming. He sighed despondently, he missed his Sugar Booger. No no! He was going to be strong, for her. He looked again at the half map. "Cummon Mac, it's a whole halffu resort, there's gotta be sumthin y'all can do."

He looked and saw couples yoga, "Nope," couples kayaking, "Nope," couples dancing. Big Macintosh ground his teeth, "NOPE!." Then suddenly it hit him, "FITNESS CENTER!" Thank Celestia! He'd only exercised one muscle since he'd arrived on the island, not that he was complaining, but his leg's had been screaming with boredom ever since. He galloped, almost giddy, to the resort's small fitness center. It was no proper gym, but it had enough to suit Big Mac's needs. He started on the leg press and racked it all the way up. It still wasn't enough. He pressed against the push pad and the several hundred pounds moved all too easily.

The two other ponies in the fitness center gawked as Big Mac had to slow his pace down so he didn't break the machine. They waved in a few ponies to see the marvel, and soon a small crowd of ponies had their eyes locked on the large stack of weights rising and falling with ease. Big Macintosh was unsatisfied so he moved to the bench press. The crowd of ponies once again gawked as the giant earth pony placed weight after weight on the bar that began to bend in the center. "There's no way," they all thought to themselves, several shot each other concerned glances, there's no way a pony could lift so much. Big Mac put his hooves to the braces that kept a pony's hooves in place and took a deep breath. The other ponies breathed a heaving sigh of relief when he removed his hooves from the bar and stepped away from the bench.

He quietly got up and retrieved the larger set of braces that only barely fit his massive hooves. He nodded and resumed his place under the bar then shoved the massive pile of weights up into the air. Thirty ponies watched as this colossus lifted the weight of several ponies into the air over and over and over again. His face fell slightly farther with every repetition. It still wasn't enough. He put the giant pile of weights down and sighed heavily. He reracked his weights and only then noticed the crowd of ponies staring at him. He glanced nervously from pony to pony. He rubbed his hoof on the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry was ah hoggin the bench press?" He left the crowd of ponies still gawking behind him unsatisfied with his workout.

He consulted his half of the map again and tried several resort amenities. Tried being the operative word as he was unable to do any of them. He wasn't allowed to hang glide, or bungee jump as he weighed too much. He knew without having to be told he was too big to go spelunking. He decided to just wander the island and see what found him. He wandered the boardwalk's and everywhere he went he saw couples. Here two whispering sweet nothings to each other, there a couple roller skating together, the mare holding up her shaky stallion. He missed his Sugar Booger.

He was considering just going back to bed to make the time go faster when he suddenly heard the strained grunting of somepony somewhere close to him. He looked through the forest of coconut trees and saw a unicorn trying to pluck a single coconut off of one of the trees. "Come ON Piña! We need more Piña Coladas!" He heard somepony shout from the nearby restaurant.

The unicorn whined, "Just because it's my name doesn't mean I have to be the one to make them!"

"But you make them better than anypony!" The other voice called out.

Big Macintosh slowly walked over to the unicorn. "Well then you fly up and pick~ AH!" The unicorn jumped back from the giant earth pony that had seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Mind if ah help?" He said sheepishly.

Piña raised an eyebrow. "Uuuh how?" Big Macintosh waved her away from the tree and gave it the gentlest buck. The unicorn called out, "Wait n~"

He realized all of a sudden that he was on the ground and the unicorn was fanning him with a leaf. "Whuh happened?" He slurred.

"Yeah coconut trees don't like being bucked. They tend to buck back." She levitated the coconut in her magic and pantomimed the action of being hit on the head by a coconut. Big Mac shook his head and walked to the next tree. The unicorn said, "Didn't you hear what I said? Ya can't buck for coconuts!" Big Mac frowned. This pony's clearly never had to buck for zap apples. He squared himself at the base of the tree and gave another buck. He then immediately rolled out of the path of several falling coconuts. He smirked in triumph. Piña cheered as she gathered the fallen coconuts. "Well look at me bein wrong. Hey could you. . . " She trailed off as she watched Big Macintosh springing from tree to tree bucking wildly.

Finally, after being bored all day he had something he could do. He had no idea how much he'd missed this. He was right back in his element. He bucked tree after tree, and dodged salvo after salvo of coconuts. "Hey wait. Sir! I have enough now. STOP!" The unicorn called out desperately. But Big Mac didn't hear, he was too happy doing what he was born to do to hear her. He reared forward to buck his umpteenth tree when he heard a dull thunk, and felt a sharp pain. He looked up in confusion, he hadn't even kicked the tree yet. "Were they learning?" he thought to himself in terror.

He felt the sharp pain again and looked to see a scowling Piña Colada levitating a coconut in her magic. "Jackass! I said stop! What am I gonna do with all these now? They'll spoil."

Big Mac rubbed the back of his neck with his hoof. Maybe he'd gotten a little carried away. He looked and saw dozens of coconuts littering the sandy soil. "Umm I'm raght sorry ma'am. Ya see ahma."

A gruff looking manager came out shouting. "Where in Celestia's left testicle are my Piña!~" He stopped as he surveyed Big Mac's work. "What the fuck is all dis? Piña you schmuck! I'll have your ass for this!"

"You'll have who's ass now?" Throbbing Heart cooed as she strutted up, rubbing her tail under the manager's muzzle teasingly. The manager's face instantly softened and he leaned into the tail. "Oh my what a mess you've made Mr. Macintosh." She gave a feined sigh. "Oh well, I suppose you'll just have to give out free Piña Coladas to everypony." She got muzzle to muzzle with the almost drooling stallion. "Oh what can I do to reward such a generous pony," she said as she pinched his cheek.

The manager grinned lustfully. "Heh, I can think of a few things." He cleared his throat harshly and put his manager face back on. "Well you heard the lady." He called into the doorway so everypony could hear. "Free Piña Coladas for everypony!" There was a ragged cheer from inside.

Piña stamped a hoof angrily. "My ass I'm gonna make all those~" She stopped suddenly as Throbbing Heart strutted up to her, letting her ample ass sway slightly more than it normally did. She whispered something into the other unicorn's ear, and her face went bright red. She looked in astonishment at Throbbing Heart, as if to confirm what she just heard. The sex therapist winked, and Piña was off like a shot into the building.

Big Mac had watched the whole scene in awe. He walked slowly up to the doctor and rubbed a hoof on the back of his neck. "Uuuh thanks T.H. Ah dunno what ah woulduh done without you."

"Oh think nothing of it Big Mac! I've been craving Piña Colada since I got here." She nudged the farm pony with an elbow. "And the drink doesn't sound bad either." Big Mac blushed as he processed the innuendo. She strutted inside and called back to the earth pony, "Come on Big Mac, you deserve a treat for being such a good wing pony." He stopped in his tracks. She didn't actually mean. Throbbing Heart saw the hesitation on his face and realized the miscommunication. She levitated a cut open coconut full of frozen cocktail into his hooves. "Come have a drink silly. What kind of mare do you take me for?" she teased.

Big Macintosh sipped haltingly at the frozen beverage and smiled at the flavor, it was rather good. He sipped as he lumbered inside and sat at a corner booth. He felt slightly guilty when he saw Piña behind the bar working like a machine to make 200 Piña Coladas. His guilt faded slightly when he noticed Throbbing Heart slip behind the bar and down. The unicorn's face burned red but she didn't stop working. He saw a white hoof reach up and seize one of the many drinks she had just made. The unicorn's face went slightly pale, and Big Mac just barely heard her hiss, "Holy fuck that's cold!"

Big Macintosh couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of his situation. Never in a thousand years would he have thought that he'd be getting help from a pony like her, with a problem like his. He remembered all of the various sessions with his new wife, and he started to drool onto the straw of the drink in his hoof. He suddenly realized he needed to stop thinking about sexual matters before he got another spontaneous stiffy, but then he glanced down and saw that in fact he wasn't getting one. He marveled that even when he thought about his wife screaming "Fuck my ass. Fuck My Ass. FUCK MY ASS!" His member stayed exactly where it was supposed to. He grinned in triumph, that was the second of two problems solved. Applejack would be happy to hear that.

He glanced back up and noticed Piña, her front hooves flopped limply onto the bar, her tongue lolled out of her mouth, next to one hundred and fifty Piña Coladas. Throbbing Heart slipped stealthily out from behind the bar licking her lips, a Piña Colada in her hoof. She strutted over to him saying, "Sorry for the wait, my drink needed to be made with a bit of extra love." Rather than nod at the barmare she nodded at the manager pony slumped lazily in another booth, legs splayed out, only semiconscious.

Big Macintosh's face went blank. "When did you?" He stopped himself. "Never mahnd. Listen T.H. ah just wanted to thank y'all again."

The sex therapist nodded as she sipped her drink. "Think nothing of it dearie. It's what I live for."

Big Mac's face grew pink as he thought about how to phrase his request. "Umm T.H. could you uh. . . " He pointed to his head with his hoof. Throbbing Heart raised an eyebrow as she sipped her drink. He whispered sheepishly. "Ah caint bring mahself to say this outloud so could y'all use yer telepathy on me."

The sex therapist gave a nod of understanding and her horn glowed softly. "Alright I'm here. Go ahead."

Big Mac squirmed in his seat. Even saying this to somepony in his mind seemed uncouth. "Thank y'all for yer haylp. Ah uh. . . Ah haven't. . . Come unsheathed today. If ya know what ah mean."

Throbbing Heart snickered to herself and Big Mac heard in his head, "Awww, I'm going to miss that. Oh well. I'm very happy to have helped." Throbbing Heart finished her drink and stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me Mr Macintosh, I need a refill." She walked over to the bar and levitated both the manager, and Piña to a backroom. Big Mac once again couldn't help but chuckle. This crazy mare. He sat and he sipped to more Piña Coladas. He thought to himself he'd have to find somepony to make them back home, they were rather good.

His ear suddenly shot up at hearing somepony singing less than well on stage. He saw a portly unicorn slurring drunkenly into the microphone, a small machine feeding him the lyrics as he slurred, always one bar behind the music. Big Mac began to bounce up and down in his seat with excitement. Holy shit! They had Karaoke! The unicorn's song ended, and he stopped singing several seconds later. When he finally shuffled of the stage Big Mac sprang up and looked through the song list. Too high for his register, no, no, NO, only when nopony's around, YES! He selected the song and the opening bars to sweet home Alfalfabama resounded through the bar. The bar ponies cheered as the towering farm pony took the stage. He rang out in his pleasant baritone and the whole bar couldn't help but sing along.

Big Mac's head swam both from the song, and as his drinks began to hit him. He sang out loudly and two other ponies scrambled up on stage. Each wrapped a foreleg around the farm ponies shoulders. He had no idea who these two ponies were, all he knew is that they were his very best friends. The song finished and the three took a slightly tipsy bow. He stumbled off the stage and out of the bar feeling the need for some fresh air.

He put his front legs on the railing and shook out his mane chuckling, he'd worked up quite the sweat on stage. He stared at the tropical sun as it slowly began to sink below the horizon. He wondered if his wife was watching the same sunset. His face fell slightly at that thought. He missed his wife. His revelry was interrupted by Throbbing Heart strutting out, horn glowing, her winning laugh filling his ears. "Big Macintosh! You never told me you could sing."

Big Mac smiled through his giddiness. "Eeyup. I'm in a liddle singin group back home."

"Tall, strong, sings, AND well endowed." Throbbing Heart sighed heavily as she put her forelegs on the railing next to Big Mac's. "Sugar Belle you lucky mare."

Big Mac sighed heavily. "Ah miss er. Have y'all seen er today?" He said not caring if he sounded needy.

"Oh she has been bored out of her skull," Throbbing Heart said with a small mirthless chuckle.

Big Mac rolled his eyes. "Ah know the feelin."

The sex therapist tried to lighten the mood. "But hey, tomorrow it'll all be worth it. You and your wife will finally be able to make love properly and get on with your marriage!"

"Eeyup," he said grinning stupidly in his expectation.

Throbbing Heart got shoulder to shoulder with him and grinned. "Excited?"

Big Mac grew pink. He chuckled as he answered, "Eeyup."

The sex therapist continued her interrogation. "Ready to make her scream dirty things again?"

Big Macintosh heard his wife screaming, "Fuck my ass. Fuck My Ass. FUCK MY ASS!" in his head and his blush intensified. "Ee he he yup!"

"Uh oh!" Throbbing Heart said mischievously. Big Mac's grin dropped, and his eyebrow raised. She only tilted her head downward. He looked and saw that he had once again become unsheathed. His face glowed and he tried, unsuccessfully, to hide it behind a back leg. "And you were so excited you'd gotten pass that! Poor dear." She looked at it with a slightly different expression. "Uh oh," she said again, this time without the mischievous tone.

Big Mac grew concerned. "Whut?"

Throbbing Heart got down to look closer at his unsheathed stallionhood. "Hold on. Let me look at it. Something's wrong," she said starting to maneuver his limp meat with her magic.

Big Mac was hesitant, but he lowered his leg and let the sex therapist handle his hardening cock. He asked, trying to keep the concern out of his voice. "What's wrong with it?" He certainly didn't want anything to be wrong with his dick.

Throbbing Heart got right in front of his battering ram of a cock and Big Mac heard her voice in his mind say, "I'll tell you what's wrong with it." His eyes snapped open as he felt a slight compression, and then his dick sliding into her mouth. "It wasn't inside me." He was about to spring away, but he was momentarily paralyzed with pleasure. His eyes rolled back in his head as the mare swallowed inch after inch of his mammoth member. It pinched slightly at her teeth, but afterwards he felt it stretch her throat as she let it slide down into her. She moaned softly as she slowly sucked hard on the cock that had taunted her all week.

Big Mac suddenly snapped himself out of his sensual daze and growled, "GET OFFA ME!" He grabbed Throbbing Heart by the mane and pulled his cock out of her throat. "Ah knew we never shoulda trusted y'all! Prevert seducer! Now git away from ME!" He said tossing her bodily away from him. His mind raced as he galloped for his hut. What had he done? How could he have let this happen. He cried out desperately for his wife. "SUUUGAR BEEEELE!!!"

Had he been paying attention he might have wondered why Throbbing Heart never seemed to have hit the ground after he threw her.