Button Mash is NOT Gay!

by FIM Fiction

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Button Mash, Comedy, Slice of Life, Babs Seed
Length: 3009

Button Mash goes on a date on Canterlot. Others follow thinking he's seeing a boy. He's not.

Join Button Mash and Babs Seed, or rather their families, as they follow the couple along their date in Canterlot. Each family thinks their child is gay. Light humor follows, along with cuteness.
ENJOY!

Published 2020-08-01 02:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-12 18:45:12 UTC

1, Pretty Boy

It was a fine morning in Ponyville, and a certain child was getting ready for his first date. And in Canterlot itself, would it take place! But his preparations... weren't usual.

Button Mash hummed to himself as he trotted. His bag of bits clanked with every step, making his mouth feel funny. Button Mash entered Rarity's Boutique with a smile.

"Welcome to Rarity's Boutique, where everything is chic and unique. Oh! Hello Button Mash!" Rarity said cheerfully. "Are you here to get something for your mother?"

"Nope!" Button Mash said as he set down his bag of bits. "I'm here for a outfit."

Rarity's eyes gleamed as she grinned, her magic already grabbing fabrics, needles, and thread. Men rarely entered her boutique, except for alterations to their suits. To make a suit from scratch, that would be fun! "Of course darling! Might I ask the occasion?"

"I'm going on a date in Canterlot! My first time for both too!" Button Mash said, excited.

"Canterlot!?" Rarity let out a gasp. "Oh my! And your first date! This tux will be ex- NO! MUST be made extra special. It will make you look handsome, dashing, charming- Do you need something?"

Button Mash had raised his hoof like he had been taught at school. He lowered his hoof. "May I please have a dress instead, miss Rarity?"

"Just Rarity will do fine, Button Mash." Rarity smacked the side of her head. "I forgot to even measure you in my excitement! But I suppose that won't matter. Do you know the measurements of your date?"

"I was hoping to get one for me, M- Rarity."

Rarity almost dropped her supplies. She gained a quizzical expression, before realizing it was rude. "Sorry, but I didn't realize you were gay, Button Mash."

"I'm not." Button Mash said. Rarity heard a slight layer of confusion to the response.

"Sorry. I meant no offence, dearie. Here, stand up there and I'll measure you. When is the date?" Rarity levitated over her measuring tapes.

"This afternoon." Button Mash said. "Sweetie Belle told me you can make a dress in an hour. That's really cool!"

Rarity let out a laugh. "With a gown for your size, it can be done in less time, dearie. Though next time, I'd like a week advance on the order. Or at least two days. Now then, any idea of what sort of dress? Or would you like me to design one?"

"Just a simple one, please. And I really don't have any idea as to the color even." Button Mash said sheepishly.

"Very well darling." Rarity levitated 9 bits out of Button Mash'es bag (Very Low Price). "Come back in an hour, and I'll be sure to have finished." Rarity would usually always make something GLAMOROUS even if told not to. But for a boy who just wants to look pretty, she would make it simple, not overdone.

"Thank you!" Button Mash said. He gave Rarity a hug, grabbed his bag of bits, and left.

2, Spa-wesome

Tis was still the same fine morning, just a tad bit later. And still the child went on his preparations. Meanwhile in Manehatten, a certain child got a check up on a tux and bowler cap. For a date in Canterlot.

Button Mash danced to a tune he remembered from a game as he trotted. The bag of bits was lighter, but still made his mouth feel funny with every clank. He stared at the spa's entrance for a moment, before giving a determined nod and entering.

Aloe heard the familiar sound of a bag of bits clanking. Confused, she tapped her sister's shoulder. Lotus looked at her sister in confusion, before looking at the latest customer. Then she looked back at Aloe.

Button Mash looked at the spa choices and the prices. He knew some ponies went to the spa before going on a date, but other than a basic massage, most things would almost empty his bag by half.

"Need any help?" Aloe asked. She recognized the boy, but couldn't remember his name.

Button Mash turned to look at Aloe, before looking back at the board. "I can't afford anything."

"Don't worry dear. I'll give you a discount. Judging by the size of your bag... eighty percent discount." Lotus said.

"Really!? Sweet!" Button Mash studied the board with more attention.

"... Is your mother here?"Aloe asked.

"Nope! Just me. How long do these take?" Button Mash asked.

"Well, I could suggest what you might choose, if you have something planned today." Lotus explained.

"I'm going to Canterlot for a date today." Button Mash said. The Spa Sisters eye's widened at that. "Oh! And I got to pick up my dress from Rarity's in an hour."

The Spa Sisters stared at each other, both thinking the same thing. "Well, a massage done by Bulk, followed up by a steam room and a date prep would fit in your schedule." Aloe told Button Mash.

"YEAH!" Bulk Biceps (AKA Snowflake AKA Road Wrecker AKA Something Else but cannatic name is Bulk Biceps) burst though the cheap wall, (Cheaply made because of how many times he's broken though the wall) and stomped up to Button Mash. "Come on little dude!" He tossed Button Mash on his back, re-entering the side room by the means of breaking another hole.

Aloe picked up the bag of bits. "Lotus, sister. Do you think-"

"Nooooo... he can't be. Can he?" Lotus asked her sister.

"Maybe?" Aloe said with a shrug. "Button Mash is honestly the last pony I'd ever expect to be gay, but..."

"Dress from Rarity, and being excited at the idea of spa." Lotus said. "He might be!"

"But who would ever imagine that the Arcade King" Aloe said.

"Would ever be gay?" Lotus finished.

The two sister's had lowered their voices for this conversation, but even still, many a gossiper had heard. Some where even leaving already to spread the latest piece of juicy gossip... And what better then to actually get proof?
*
LATER
*

Button Mash hummed to himself as he sat in the steam room. It was an almost unbearable heat, and somehow that made it nice.

Fluttershy entered the room, before stopping. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize this room was taken."

"No worries!" Button Mash said. "There's loads of room."

Fluttershy smiled, and closed the door behind herself. "I didn't realize you visited the spa."

"My first time here!" Button mash said as Fluttershy sat down. "I'm getting ready for a date."

"Oh!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "With who?"

Button Mash smiled. "It's a story to save for later... And I'm pretty sure my parents and friends are gonna follow anyways."

Fluttershy nodded her head. "That is oddly common." She frowned. "But it's also kind of rude. Where are you taking your date?"

"Well, it's happening in Canterlot so we would see some of the sights and get some food." Button Mash said. He tilted his head. "You're... Fluttershy, right?"

"I am." Fluttershy said with a nod. "I thought we met before..." She went quiet, wondering if Button Mash somehow forgot her.

"The other times I've seen you, you... Don't actually talk."

"Oh! That's because I'm shy. But I got a flyer one day on being more assertive. I got a bit too assertive though, and now I'm fine with just being Old Fluttershy."

Button Mash stared blankly in confusion. "I don't get it."

"Um. I'll just say I went overboard being assertive. Oh! Are you getting a nice suit from Rarity?"

"I'm getting a dress!" Button Mash said joyfully.

"Oh! I didn't realize you were gay." Fluttershy's voice plummeted quickly. She didn't want to seem rude, but to not even realize that somepony was-

"I'm not." Button Mash said, slightly confused.

"Oh." Fluttershy tried to hide behind her hair.

Button Mash looked at a clock that hung on the wall. "I gotta go. Bye Fluttershy! Have a nice day!" Button Mash left the steam room.

"Bye." Fluttershy said softly. She was confused. Button Mash wasn't gay, but was going to wear a dress. Was he lying to himself?
*
LATERRRRRRRRRUMPLSTILKIN OR WHATEVER IT WAS.
*

Button Mash trotted happily. Bulk Biceps was actually good at massages, and at doing hair. With Button Mash, however, he just gave a slight trim and comb. But that wasn't really important.

As Button Mash trotted, he felt like many ponies were staring at him. He turned to look. Some ponies turned away, while others openly stared at him. He looked at his flanks. No cutie mark yet. He shrugged, and continued to Rarity's Boutique.

"Welcome to- Oh! Hello Button Mash! I have your gown ready!" Rarity said joyfully, almost singing. "Just step behind the curtain and try it on."

Button Mash ran into the curtained changing room. A light blue glow lowered a dress to him. He let out a squee of joy and put on the gown.

Rarity closed her eyes. "Please head to the stand. I wish the see the masterpiece on you!" A few moments later, Rarity opened up her eyes and let out a squee of her own. Button Mash wore a pretty dress, with a dark grey collar, a dress pattern of a pinkish purple around the neck, with purple as the body.

"It's beautiful!" Button Mash said in joy. He stood on his hind legs and gave a twirl, before landing on his hooves. He then rushed up to Rarity, hugging her tightly. "Thank you so much!"

"You're very welcome, darling. Just remember to let me know in advance by at least two days." Rarity said, setting a yellow set of saddle bags on Button Mash'es back.

Button Mash released his hug to look. "What's this for?"

"Well, it's to hold money in. Canterlot is somewhat expensive, after all. It's also been enchanted so it weighs three feathers." Rarity explained. "The bits in the bag are to be used for your day out ONLY."

"Thank you! Oh! I gotta go!" Button Mash ran out the door as Sweetie Belle walked down the stairs.

Sweetie Belle paused. That girl looked familiar. "Hey Rarity?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Who was that?"

"Oh that was-" Rarity paused, remembering her sister's crush on Button Mash. "That was... Oh look at the time! I have dresses to make, yes indeed."

Sweetie Belle arched an eye brow, giving a very skeptical look at her sister. "Really?" she deadpanned.

"Oh alright. It was Button Mash. And no, I'm not joking." Rarity held up a small notebook as her sister stood shocked. "I suppose I have time...."
*

Button Mash hummed to himself as he trotted to the train station. He knew ponies were staring at him, but he didn't mind. He met his mother waiting at the train station. She looked shocked. "Button!?"

Button Mash'es ears instinctively flattened to his head. "Did I do something wrong?"

Cream Heart quickly searched for an excuse to her action. "You're not going to Canterlot!" she stomped over to Button Mash and removed his propeller. "With that on you. I just know you'd lose it there." She kissed his head. "I'll hang onto it for you, okay sweetie?"

"Okay Mom." Button Mash was slightly disappointed, but realized his mom was right. "Any idea why everypony is staring at me?"

"Well, probably because they heard you were going on a date in Canterlot. And not for any other reason." Cream Heart shot a glare to a nearby gawking pony.

The pony didn't take the hint and said "I didn't think you were gay!"

"I'm not." Button Mash answered, blankly.

"Alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Aboard!" The train Conductor shouted. His eyes were red with yellow replacing the white. He shook his head and his eyes turned normal."That was weird" he said to himself.

Button Mash gave his mother a quick hug before boarding the train.

Gibson leaned towards his mother. "We're not really gonna let him go by himself, are we?"

"Of course not. I'm already getting help from Twilight and her friends." Cream Heart answered.
*
MEANWHILE!!!!!!AHHHHGHGFHFNGHGBGHCVGHVG DUCKS
*
The child had gotten the suit. It was nice and crisp. The child paid the train fare, already knowing her parents and friends were in another train compartment. Babs Seed let out a sigh. She saw why they thought she was gay, but didn't understand why they couldn't except that she wasn't. A grin grew on her face. Maybe she could prank them...

3, Train Station (+Princess)

Tis was a fine day (still). And was nearing midday.

Button Mash waited patiently as Cantorlot Train Station. This very day was chosen due to the train schedule for Ponyville and Manehatten. At last, the Manehatten train arrived. It was far different from any train Button Mash had seen. More rusty and strong looking. A large amount of ponies exited. Button Mash tried to stand taller, then noticed a red ribbon around a bowler cap. "Babs! Over here!" he shouted, waving his hoof.

Babs Seed saw a small brown hoof waving in the crowd. She quickly headed towards it. "Hey Button!"
*
A RANDOM BUSH
*

Pinkie stared out of the bush with binoculars. She was (in Gibson's opinion) incredibly close to Gibson. "What do you see?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"You have the binoculars!" Gibson whispered harshly.

"Oh ya!" Pinkie said, before letting out a giggle. "I see... Ohhhhhhh..."

"What!? What do you see!?"

Pinkie turned to Gibson. "He's gay. There's a boy he just waved over." Pinkie held up a camera. "We just need the two of them facing towards the camera to get a shot of their date, and let him know he doesn't need to be ashamed."

"Then why are we in a bush!?" Gibson asked.

Pinkie stared at him. "Did you not listen to a single word I didn't say?"
*
ANOTHER RANDOM BUSH BUT ON THE OTHR- OTHET (Why can't I type it) OTHER SIDE OF THE STATION AREA
*

Diana Pie, Pinkie Clone detective, looked through a pair of binoculars. "Well? What do you see?" Uncle Orange asked.

"Shush! I see... Well, she's gay. There's a girl in a dark pink and purple dress. Don't know why she won't just confess to being gay. But I guess stupid times call for extreme weirdness." Diana paused. "I feel like I recognize that girl..."
*

Babs brushed her hair out her face. "That is a fine dress you're wearin." Babs said, her accent thick.

"Thanks!" Button Mash replied. "Rarity made it for me. So also gave me this bag." Button said with a smile. "I like your suit!"

"Thank you. It's my uncles, when he was a kid." Babs replied. "So, how's this date going to go?"

"I have a few ideas. Come on." Button Mash said.

Babs followed, getting right beside Button Mash. She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You know we're being followed, right?"

"By parents and friends."

"Yup."

"Should we tell them we know or..."

"Chances they each think we're gay. I say we play dumb and have a good laugh after." Babs pulled away from Button Mash.

"Alright." Button Mash said with a shrug. "I've already been playing dumb. Mom was the only one who actually found a good way to hide her shock of me in a dress." He looked down. "I don't get why girls can wear jackets and be still be strait, but a boys gay if he wears a skirt... Or a crossdresser"

Babs shrugged. "I dunno. In history some folks had problems with women wearing jackets, so I guess it's a repeat of history?"

"Maybe? But ladies weren't accused of crossdressing." Button Mash said. "But enough of that. Let's-"

"Oh wait I almost forgot!" Babs said quickly. "Close your eyes."

"Why?" Button Mash said, a smile growing.

Babs rolled her eyes. "Just do it." Button Mash shrugged and closed his eyes. He felt something being placed in his mane, by his right ear. "Open them and pull out the mirror."

"What mirror?" Button Mash asked as he opened his eyes.

"You said Rarity gave you that bag."

"So? It just has some money for our date."

Babs opened the bag, reached past the bits, and pulled out a mirror. "In her letters, Sweetie Belle told me her sister gets over prepared for some situations." She held the mirror up. "Now have a look."

Button Mash peered at the mirror and let out a sound of (*COF* ADORIBLE *KOF*) delight. "A Neightendo remote style flower!"

"Yup. Now come on, let's get off the station."
*
BUSH
*
bogbfcbwjdthugwbfryewtgdyh
Pinkie peered at her notes, nodding. "Yup. This is gonna be less comedy and more slice of life, isn't it?"

"What?" Gibson asked, confused.
*
THE OTHER BUSH
Diana frowed. "Welp, the forth wall is breakin-"

THATS ENOUGH OF THAT! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Sorry if some of the future chapters aren't really romantical. I suck at that, but so does Button Mash so I will use that to my advantage.

Have a nice day.

*BONUS*

Celestia scratched her chin as she looked out of her telescope. "I'm telling you Luna, one of them is bound to be gay."

Luna let out a grunt. "Thou woke me up for this? I am annoyed, and certain neither is homosexual. Gay is when enlightened, so quit misusing the word. I am going to sleep." She turned to leave.

"I bet five sacks of gold and my favorite cakes for the whole month one of them is gay." Celestia muttered to herself. She found her sister standing right next to her.

"DEAL!" Luna shouted.

"Hang on, Lu Lu" Celestia said, pulling away from the telescope and her sister. "That's what you get if you win. What do I get if I win?"

"We will personally make mother's cake and father's stew for you for a week."

Celestia's eyes widened, remembering the taste of the treats, and how difficult (and annoying) they were to make. "DEAL!" she shouted, eagerly shaking her sister's hoof.