FOUR FRIENDS PLAY A BOARD GAME
by GeodesicDragon
"One, two, three, four, five... " Applejack manoeuvred the game piece around the board, counting slowly. "Nine, ten, eleven." She looked at where her piece was and sighed. "Aww, dang it."
"Uh-oh, Applejack!" Rainbow Dash said gleefully. "Cloudsdale is mine, so you owe me twenty four bits in rent!"
"I know," Applejack replied, picking up a few paper notes and passing them to the grinning pegasus.
"Thanks, AJ." Rainbow laughed heartily. "Okay, it's your turn now, Rarity. Try not to end up in jail again."
Rarity huffed and picked up the dice with her magic, tossing them gently into the middle of the board.
"Seven." she counted out her steps, landing on a place — which caused her to gasp excitedly. "Yes, Canterlot!" she squealed. "I'm buying that!" She quickly snapped up a load of notes and passed them to Spike. "Here you go, my darling banker." She cooed. "One title deed for Canterlot, please." Spike blushed and took the money, passing her a small card in return. She set it down next to her and let out a small cackle. "I now own both Canterlot and Las Pegasus!" She said. "As soon as I get hotels on them, you're all doomed!"
Rainbow Dash ignored the unicorn's laughter and picked up the dice, throwing them haphazardly onto the board. She looked at her roll and grimaced. "Three," she groaned. "Great."
She moved her game piece forward, landing on a spot with a picture of Princess Celestia on it.
"Royal Taxes!" Applejack laughed. "Looks like you don't get to enjoy those two hundred bits I gave ya earlier!"
Rainbow Dash grumbled to herself and picked up the money, putting it into the middle of the board.
"Uh, Rainbow?" Applejack raised an eyebrow. "What in tarnation are you doin' that for?"
"I'm putting the money into the middle of the board." Dash replied.
"I can see that," Applejack said. "But why are ya doin' it?"
"So that anypony who lands on the Free Parking space can get it," Dash retorted, raising one of her own eyebrows. Applejack gave her a blank look, to which she rolled her eyes and sighed. "In my opinion, that Free Parking space is useless — so I've decided to give it a purpose." She explained. "Anytime somepony pays taxes, they can put the money in the middle of the board. Anypony who lands on Free Parking then gets all of it."
Applejack shook her head. "That is the... I don't even..." she paused for a moment. "Nope, it sounds like cheatin' ta me."
"How is it cheating?!" Rainbow replied, raising her voice.
"Because anypony who lands there gets free money," Applejack replied, her own voice increasing in volume. "I don't believe in ponies gettin' somethin' fer doin' nothin' at all."
Rainbow facehoofed. "It's only a game, Applejack," she grumbled. "You don't need to take it so seriously."
"Rainbow Dash is right, Applejack," Rarity said gently. "After all, games are supposed to be fun."
"Why the hay are you takin' her side?" Applejack shouted. "If it ain't in the rules, then it can't be done."
"I'm with Applejack on this one, girls," Spike added. "If it's not in the rules, then technically it can't be done."
"Okay, fine!" Rainbow yelled, picking up the money from the board and tossing it into the banker's tray. "There, happy?"
"Rules are there to be followed, Dash," Applejack said matter-of-factly. "Ya can't get by in life if yer makin' 'em up as you go along."
"It's just a game, for Pete's sake!" Dash shouted, throwing her forehooves into the air exasperatedly.
"I know that, but—" Applejack began.
"No!" Dash interrupted. "You take things way too seriously, Applejack. You're such a... a killjoy!" She spat the last word out.
Applejack's face fell.
"Now see here, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity scolded. "That was entirely uncalled for. Apologise at once!"
"Why should I apologise?" the pegasus fumed. "Because I know I'm right — all night long she's been fussing over the rules." She put on her best Applejack impersonation. "'Ya can't buy hotels till you buy houses first.' 'Three doubles, off ya go ta jail!' 'It's two hundred bits fer passin' Go, not three hundred!'"
Applejack's eyes filled with tears. Wiping them away, she narrowed her eyes and pointed an accusing hoof at Rainbow Dash. "I'm the killjoy?" she shouted, her voice heavy with emotion. "What about you, Dash? Yer totally incapable of makin' a decision without turnin' it into some kind of contest!"
Rainbow Dash scoffed. "That's ridiculous!" she argued.
"Is it?" Applejack laughed. "What about when y' went ta Fluttershy's ta get a pet? Ya couldn't make up yer mind, so you started that little contest to see which one was the 'coolest.'" Rainbow opened her mouth to reply, but Applejack silenced her with a wave of her hoof. "And tonight, you've only been buying the properties which you think are cool." She narrowed her eyes. "Is that why you didn't want ta buy Appleoosa?"
Rainbow spluttered and fidgeted, trying to find the right words.
"So don't get on at me bein' a 'killjoy', when you can be just as bad," Applejack hissed. "There's no fun in watchin' you debate to yourself over which properties are cool and which ones ain't."
Rainbow ran her hoof over the back of her head as Rarity coughed. "Can we get back to playing now?" she asked gently. "Or will you two continue to ruin the evening?"
Applejack's eyes narrowed further. "Oh no ya don't!" she said fiercely. "Don't you go accusing us of wreckin' the evenin'. Are you forgettin' what happened at Twilight's slumber party?"
Rarity gasped. "That was your fault as well, and fine you know it!" she said through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, I know," Applejack replied. "But at least I'm prepared ta admit it." A sly smirk appeared on her face.
Rarity ground her teeth together, a low growl escaping her throat. She opened her mouth to fire off a retort when Spike spoke up.
"Everypony calm down!" he yelled. "You've all ruined the evening, so let's just agree to disagree and leave it at that, all right?"
"WHAT?!" the three mares said in unison.
"Oh, that's rich coming from Mister 'turn into a giant dragon and destroy half of Ponyville!'" Rainbow Dash brought her face closer to Spike, who didn't flinch at the invasion of his personal space. "If anypony knows how to wreck things on a grand scale, it's you!"
Spike clenched his fists. "Take that back." he said.
"Make me." Dash replied, sticking her tongue out.
Suddenly, a cushion hit her in the face, sending her flat on her back. She stood up and looked at Rarity — who had an evil grin on her face, and another cushion ready to throw.
"All right, that's it!" Dash bellowed. "Bring it on, Miss Prissy Pants!"
The three mares and Spike leapt on each other, shouting various swear words and insults. In the resulting flurry of hooves and claws, the game board was knocked off the table.
***
The wind howled through the royal garden in Canterlot, the black clouds in the sky announcing their presence with thunder and lighting. As the wind buffeted the statues, a loud crack was followed by bellowing laughter.
The flashes of lightning illuminated a solitary figure, who snapped his fingers and conjured up an image of the fight taking place in Ponyville. Watching it eagerly, he let out a small cackle.
"Ah, board games," Discord said to himself, taking in his new-found freedom. "How wonderfully chaotic."
