Author's Note

Hello! As stated before, this story takes place pre-season 3, so keep that in mind throughout the text. I've taken the liberty of color coding all important-character dialogue for the sake of ease when the talking becomes more back and forth. Anon's in green, Gile's in yellow, so on and so forth.

Thank you for giving my story a try.

Chapter 1 - The Thieves of Tamar

"THE NATION IN TURMOIL! EQUESTRIA WEEPS! ELEMENT-BEARER MISSING!"

Headlines like this practically sprang up from their paper, billowing out across Equestria in wails. Surely, the ponies thought, they were doomed. The evil that rests in the shadows would now have free reign to plot and scheme damnation. The Equestrian civilization– to be brought to its knees and dismantled. Catastrophe was upon their doorstep now; and they could do nothing. In their hopelessness, the Royal Diarchy looked to beyond their borders for aid.

A cry for help in the search was extended to all neighboring realms, the ponies desperate for answers. News spread fast across the vast world beyond Equestria– particularly, of the reward: Enough wealth to turn even the most downtrodden into a king. Needless to say, the other races were eager to help. Those who didn’t plan on searching, however, did their part in spreading the rumor still. Across the continents and over the oceans, through talk at bars and on street corners, creatures discussed.

Countless miles beyond the Greater Equestrian reaches, where friendship and harmony held little power, a city of thieves and scum rose out of grey steppe sands and cracked earth. On the foreign continent of Echidna, the lands of monsters, the bandit city of Tamar lay decrepit and isolated. It was one of ancient stones, the skeleton of some long-abandoned settlement of ponies who had never seen the rolling hills of Equestria. When they left, the jackals of civilization took up permanent residence and claimed the city for themselves. There exists within... something of a government and families, but both wielded little sway over the criminal underbelly which made an even smaller attempt to hide itself. This was no place for good creatures.

"He lives another day! How goes work, Anon?" The stout griffin went for a hug. He wrapped his claws around the tall human’s back and brought him in close for a quick squeeze, a smile adorning his yellow beak. He had not seen his friend for a few days– usually a sure sign of an ill fate in the dark city. Anon managed a smirk of his own, though his face shown clear with bemusement.

“Tch, is that what we’re calling it now? Work? How official.” Anon pulled away from the hug and inspected the griffin’s face proper. Both parties wore the exhaustion of dishonest toil– the profession of thievery being neither glamorous nor simple. “ ‘Work’ is bad, as usual. Besides some stallion’s bit pouch, I had better luck finding lost coin on the ground than I did stealing any. Schmucks here keep their purses tied to their bodies, Gile, I swear it." The man's smile fell a touch flatter. "You get into another fight or something? I don’t recall that scar.” Anon poked at the red cut above the griffin’s left eye, much to his displeasure.

“Asshole! That’s still fresh! And yeah, some bitch with a baby had her bit purse just hanging from her tail. The second I grabbed for it– swish!” Gile made a cut through the air with his claw. “Who carries their kid in one hand and a knife in the other? That’s gotta be dangerous for the brat. I mean, don’t they have laws here?” If nothing else, the two could at least share a laugh from that.

“We’re definitely leaving this place soon. I say we use this–” Anon bounced a pouch up in his hand– a bit purse Gile hadn’t seen before. “–and get trashed at that Fizzy Taps place. Then tomorrow morning, we buy some food and get the fuck out of this hellhole of a city.” A passing mare spat at him when he said that. Anon turned on his heel and heckled her, holding his arms out wide. “What? It’s the damn truth!”

Gile's mirth-filled laughter had no end, it seemed. “At least you can get SOME women to spit, eh?” Anon flicked him off and started off toward the bar the pair had seen when first stumbling into Tamar.

Fizzy Taps was an older mare– or perhaps an extended stay in Tamar simply acted unkindly upon one's physicality. She didn’t tolerate idiots, though– that much, one could be certain of. Of course, this was going to be a problem for the human and griffin. A single faded sign outside the little hole in the wall was all the advertisement an honest business like Fizzy's could manage here– and the inside was warm, if a bit dumpy. The two sat side by side at the bar, slapping down their shared bits as they sang aloud their drinking mantra in unison– some tradition they'd started up far too long ago, and never stuck around anywhere long enough to get drilled on its silliness. “A shot of your worst for two parched throats!” Fizzy, the bartender, a mare of dark mustard coat and draping brown mane that at least retained some of its curls from happier days, eyed the friends with thoroughly unamused eyes.

"Everythin’ is ‘worst’ here– and you’ll get only my cheapest of it with chump change like that.”

Anon was quick to soothe her impatience. “Now now, we’re getting beers after this.” This pleased the bartender well enough, and she readied two mugs with one hoof as she poured the shots with the others. “Take,” was all she said after. Stronger spirits were harder to come by than beer in these parts, which was seemingly always in ample supply. Raising their glasses, Anon and Gile knocked back the mystery liquor and tapped them twice against the hard wood of the bar, signaling to each other that their ritual was complete and they were free to discuss the recent happenings. Ever since they stole their first bottle of fire water as kids, it had become a tradition to take a shot of liquor before the real drinking began.

“So human, not enjoying your time in Tamar, hmm? I have to agree. It’s bad news when the common creature walks about with a dagger up their sleeve. I see shady folk in the alleyways, too. Their eyes follow.” Gile took a ginger sip of his beer, uneased by the memory he recounted.

“Our kind of crowd then?” Joked Anon, who was eager to finish his beer and get another. Gile shook his head.

“No, those guys seemed big-time. Bigger than the two of us, anyway.”

“Please, get us back to back and we’ll fight off an army. We’ve yet to lose a bar fight, I’ll remind you. Besides, bigger than me? I’m very tall, you know.”

“You know what I mean, Anon. But no– it creeps me out. Like if I stare too long I’m gonna get a bag over my head and end up in some freak’s sex dungeon. No thank you.” At this, Gile noticed his partner’s empty mug, and sought to catch up. Fizzy was quick to bring her hoof down firmly down on the bartop, leaning in close to the pair.

“Listen up you two. You can keep sitting here if you keep buyin’ drinks, but shut up with all that sorta talk. There are big-time creatures in this city, and if you keep those loud mouths yapping, they will come knocking– and you don’t want that. So fucking zip it.”

This did indeed shut the two up... They traded a shocked look for only a second– before dropping the act and letting loose with obnoxious laughter.

“We ain’t scared of no things, lady. Besides, we’re outta this city by noon tomorrow. We’re wanderers before anything else.” Anon was upsetting their bartender...

“H’okay, hotshots: Wanderer is a pretty strange way of saying bum pickpockets, I'll say before anythin' else. I know who’s bit pouch that is, and you’re lucky I hate the fucker. You see that table over there?” She pointed a hoof to the far corner of the bar, where there rested the splintered remains of... what might’ve once been considered a table. “That bastard colt comes in here, has three beers, then tries picking a fight with the only buffalo I’d ever seen in my life. A fucking buffalo.”

Gile leaned in, awe written plainly across his face. “And the guy lived? That sounds like something you don’t live through.”

Fizzy rolled her eyes.

“Eh, bastard has had three hooves in the grave since he was born... Yeah, he lived... Screamed his stupid head off the whole time though– made all my regulars leave cause the buffalo was still ragin’, and he never paid me back for the table he was smashed through. That’s why I hate the no-show.” At this... Anon smiled smugly, and held up another bit and then slid it towards the bartender.

“Seems like he is now, eh?”

For the first time that day, a smile slowly grew on Fizzy’s face.

Time moves fast with good company, and as the day turned to night, the empty bar filled in with the rugged ‘citizenry’ of Tamar. Soon, laughter and merriment filled the warm bar– a beacon of light in the otherwise-darkness of a bleak, deadend city. Anon and Gile were well into their buzz now, and as they chatted up the others at the bar– an aged white-maned pony burst through the front doors with a shout, as if delirious with fever.

“Everyone!! Have you all heard news of the Twilight Bounty!?”

The chatter died down as all eyes were locked onto the crazed elder. “There’s some important pony who went missing in Equestria, and their Princess is offering enough bits to buy a hundred airships!” Anon and Gile locked eyes, hearing that. Gile smiled.

“What in Tartarus is an Equestria?” Asked a confused minotaur. The old pony was seemingly drugged with excitement, intoxicated at the mere fantasy of such riches.

“It’s off to the Far East, across the Typhon Ocean and beyond it even still! So far, it is, i-it’s almost impossible to imagine traveling from here to there– but the rumors say Twilight must be somewhere around here! No place else left tae'look! Huhah, i-if one of ya's finds her an' gets her back, you must cut me in on the profits, since I told you all! Couldn't have dunnit without me, no sir!”

The old pony was ready to bolt out of the bar and go alert the next establishment he could find of the bounty and how he was to be let in on the reward– the 'trick' of his not-so-clever scheme, but a zebra grabbed him by the neck and pulled the pony over to his table, wishing to hear more of the story. “You know a Twilight?” Anon asked Gile.

“No stupid, she’s probably Equestrian royalty or somethin’. They got a huge princess and she controls the sun. Her realm is huge and no one fucks with ‘em because of it... Haha, imagine that. Like, ‘oh, you’re trying to invade my nation? I’m just gonna slam the damn sun down on ya!' Wham! Haahah…” Anon eyed Gile incredulously. Obviously, both man and griff alike were well past the beginnings of their buzz by now.

“She controls the sun? That doesn’t make any damn sense. That shit moves on it’s own.”

Gile rolled his eyes and feigned a mocking yawn. “Oooh boy, here we go again with the stupid alien talk. I’ve told you this shit before, things don’t work like you say they do back… wherever the fuck you’re from.”

This talk seemed to interest Fizzy, who stopped chatting with one of the regulars and trotted back over to the two friends. “What’s this talk about aliens? First that old kook comes barging in here with his dumb story and now there's aliens in Tamar?” Anon shook his head, bemoaning having to explain this sort of thing again.

“Ugh, no. Er, well, yes. Believe it or not, my otherworldly looks and charm aren’t just blessings: I poofed into this world one day when I was young, and I’ve been here ever since.”

Fizzy, of course, didn't believe it for a second. No one with half a brain ever did. “Ho yeah, real believable– and here I thought you were just a minotaur with some gross disease that made you weak and bald.”

Anon put a hand on his hair and made a face of mock-offense. He readied himself to explain further when Gile butted in. “To my weak, bald friend’s credit: We’ve traveled a pretty wide distance across the continent and we’ve yet to find anything like Anon. We met as kids– some guards back in Drachen dumped his gangly ass at the orphanage I was at like... Boreas, I don't know how many years ago. The others decided they’d welcome the resident alien by dog-piling him and stomping his face into the dirt, so I, with my heroic nature, hopped into the fray to protect the little monster. We’ve kicked ass together ever since.” He punctuated his story by fluffing out his chest. Anon scoffed, but clinked his mug with Gile’s in cheers all the same.

“Maybe seventy percent of that story is true, I hope you know.”

Fizzy made a face and scoffed. “Obviously. That doesn’t explain your alien claim either. If anything, you’re still a minotaur and your parents kicked you to the curb once they saw how fucked up you looked. How is Drachen these days by the way? I have family who live on Hoovesfeld Street, if you know the area.”

The duo both shrugged. “Fuck that place. We’re Drachen-raised for sure, but only because we had no choice until we got old enough to run away from that hell of an orphanage. Free food’s nice, but fighting everyday to maintain your spot as top dog of the living rejects was a nightmare.”

Gile nodded his head at Anon’s story. “Amen to that. Hey, since we had a tragic upbringing, could we get free beer?” Fizzy shook her head in the negative, though still smiling. “Man, how do the beggars get away with it? They tell their sob story and creatures fucking pay them. We’re doing this all wrong, Anon, I tell you.”

Anon laughed. “Creatures pay them to go away, I promise you that.”

“If you two are oh so starved for bits, go chat up that old pony before that zebra and his posse give him a heart attack with their questions.” Fizzy filled up their beers and gave a subtle wink. On the house. Anon saluted and the two drifted across the bar over to the zebra’s booth.

The old pony’s words faded in as the two approached– his speech pattern zealous and erratic.

“...estria is like heaven!! Their rulers are beautiful, immortal, all-powerful goddesses who control the sun and moon! That’s why when catastrophes happen, Equestria is always where the evil targets! It knows that, once Equestria is out of the way, the rest of the world will fall with it… O-oh, and the Twilight mare! She’s the personal student of the sun-goddess! One day, it’ll be her atop the Equestrian throne keeping the rest of the world safe!”

The old stallion’s eyes seemed watery telling his tale, as if it was a story he wasn’t originally supposed to hear, and was for the ears of angels only. Yet, it was his now– and he treasured it deeply.

“I’ll never leave this damned city, but I so badly yearn for that Equestria!! We are tainted creatures, you and I– which is why we’re stuck so far away from Her shores– and good for it! Saints and heroes alone may walk the streets there, and that Twilight mare does not belong in these lands… Ygh, and the reward for her safe return, too!! There is no set price, but it’s guaranteed to be more than enough for any one creature to live in a palace of gold! And–”

The zebra cut off the stallion’s gushing. “My griffin friend, upon where do your praises end? Where can this Twilight be found, and can one to Equestrian lands even be bound?”

A sleek red stallion in his company added onto his leader’s words “You make it sound like Equestria is a land of gods. Are you sure this story is true, and not just a legend? We need bits– got no time for nonsense.”

The elder shook his head vigorously. “O-of course it’s true! How else do you think the sun moves, and the moon…”

Anon turned Gile to himself, away from the madpony’s continued rant. He brought the griffon over to a nearby window. “Think it’s real? I know you’ve talked about Equestria before, and I guess the sun princess shit, if you think it’s true… but about this mare, and the reward?”

Gile nodded. “I know the sun goddess has these… relic-thingies. Remember the legend about Nightmare Moon?” Anon shook his head in the negative. Gile sneered. “Fuckin’– really? You’d think being a weird alien in a whole new world would’ve spawned some intrigue on your part when you were younger.”

Anon rolled his eyes. “Bro, I was way more concerned about my next meal, not a fucking history lesson on myths and legends about a place I’ll never even visit. Besides, when the hell did you become such a scholar anyway? I’ve never seen this side of Gile The Bird Brain.”

Gile punched Anon’s leg, shushing him. “Keep your fuckin’ voice down man, a slur like that is gonna get you killed around here.” He never really got used to his old orphanage nickname. “Anyway– those relics are called Elements, or something. The sun princess used the Elements to banish Nightmare Moon for a thousand years. Now I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I think I heard one time about the Elements being given to six ponies. You remember that one time we were in that really fancy city, Cabaluus?” This, Anon did remember. It was one of the few places he and Gile had ever been to that wasn’t a total hellhole. “Well while we were split up looking for rich idiots to steal from, there was some sort of ambassador or noble from Equestria visiting, and I heard from his guards that there was some big royal wedding back in Equestria. They said how there was a surprise attack by bugs or something, and that the Element-bearers couldn’t get to the Elements. I’m not sure how the attack was repelled, but it must’ve been if Equestria still has their sun goddess. Anyway, I’m pretty sure this Twilight mare must be one of those bearers, which is why she’s so important.”

“Hmm… I’m pickin’ up what you’re puttin’ down. So…” Anon leaned his elbows against the sill, staring towards the sky. Gile recognized this look: A starry-eyed determination, unbecoming of a petty thief. If he didn't know better, he’d think Anon a young adventurer– or at least a human with noble pursuits. “... So let’s go find this mare and get rich.”

The griffon smiled.

“Let’s be heroes, Gile.”