Winona Is Having Puppies

by Microshazm

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Winona
Length: 1634

Winona is having puppies, but who is the father? A cautionary tale.

...but who is the father?

A cautionary tale about leaving your pet unattended.

Published 2012-08-27 01:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-27 01:54:01 UTC

The Story

Applejack didn't actually keep her dog on a leash, and by ”not actually” I actually mean ”not at all”. Still everyone was somehow mighty surprised when the bitch took off one Friday and was gone for the whole week-end.

”Where have you been, Winona? Oh my gosh, we were so worried about you, Winona.” Everypony said that over and over again. Winona, being a dog, never gave a straight answer, but she wore the same satisfied grin for the whole week. I'm not calling myself any kinda dog whisperer, but I knew for certain it'd seen some action that week-end.

And soon enough, Winona started to get bigger. Everypony mighty surprised again.

”She's four weeks in, so that makes about six weeks left,” promised Maple Syrup, the town vet. ”Whose dog did she mate with?” Just like that, popped the question outta the blue.

”Funny thing, really,” answered Applejack, ”but we have no idea.” The vet just nodded, she didn't have a dog. As a matter of fact, nopony in Ponyville had a dog suit for breeding with Winona. Dogs were costly to train, costly to maintain, and most of all, costly to obtain. They say it's because dogs are domesticated wolves or something, though I'm not buying such an obvious fib.

Not one of the remainin' six weeks went by without somepony mentionin' the missin' male. Most of 'em were nothin' special, but there were a few odd ones in the mix.

Week 5: Fluttershy was visiting

”Oh Winona, how are you doing?” Fluttershy asked. Winona barked a happy answer. ”Aww, of course you are. I've told all the animals about you and your puppies, and they're all very excited...” Her voice whimpered away, though her mouth still moved a little.

”But?” said Applejack. ”Fluttershy, you were sayin' somethin', but I couldna hear it.”

”Just that... It's Angel. He's been acting really, really strange lately. He's bouncing off the walls, tapping his feet all the time. He even tried to take some tranquilizers meant for bears!

”When I asked him to join me here, he disappeared and I haven't yet found him.”

”I'm sure it's nothin',” said Applejack and hugged her friend. ”I'm sure it's jus' some phase he's goin' through. That's nothin' compared to what I did when I had that phase.”

”Huh?”

”Well, back in Manehattan there was this colt called Twoback Shackurn...”

Let's leave that story for another time.

Week 6: Twilight was visiting

”... and here is the soon-to-be mother! Wow, think of all the mess they're going to– I mean, all the fun you're going to have!” Twilight put up a sorry smile, but Applejack didn't really notice. ”I told Spike, and he said that it wasn't big news, but I'm sure he'll come around.”

”But?” said Applejack. ”You've that look on yer face, Twi.”

”What look? What face?” Another sorry smile, another ignored. ”Well, I don't know if it interests anypony, but Owlowiscious has been behaving quite odd for a few weeks – from the day I told him about Winona.”

”Yeah?” I wasn't sure if Applejack remembered Fluttershy's story from the previous week.

”Yeah, he just flies around during the day, and he's begun hunting for mice again! However, instead of eating them, he just throws them around the library and releases them afterwards.”

”I'm sure it's nothin', sugarcube,” said Applejack and hugged her friend. ”I'm sure it's jus' some phase he's goin' through. That's nothin' compared to what I did when I had that phase.”

”But Owlowiscious throws around live mice!”

”Well, back in Manehattan there was this colt called Alp Acino...”

Sorry, but I'm not touching that one either.

Week 7: Rarity was visiting

”Oh Winona, that reminds me of when Opal had kittens.” Rarity's gaze escaped out to the horizon.

”'Scuse me? Since when's Opal had a litter?” asked Applejack.

”Ooh, not very long ago. I think it was winter... or fall... or–” Rarity gasped and almost fell down from shock. ”I just remembered! It was a dream, a nightmare! All those precious fabrics torn to shreds...”

”I'm sure it's nothin'” said Applejack, while Rarity lay down on a couch. No foalhood story followed.

Week 8: Pinkie Pie was visiting

”Winona, you're getting so big! I'm so very, very, VERY excited!” She bounced around like it was Tuesday (actually it was Saturday). ”I threw a baby shower for Mrs Cake – could I throw a puppy shower for you? We could do stuff like... Um, can you do cartwheels with that belly?”

By this time, Applejack had got the gist of it. She said: ”Pinkie, has everythin' gone alright for the... last couple of weeks?”

Pinkie Pie stopped mid-bounce and seemed to hang still in the air for a moment. ”Yes, why would it be otherwise? All things peachy with good old Pinkie Pie! Only if I could say the same for poor Gummynator™. He's been very upset for awhile now.”

Applejack wrapped an arm around Pinkie. ”I'm sure it's jus' some phase he's goin' through.”

”Really? He booked an appointment with the dentist! Twice! Or was that me?”

”That's nothin' compared to what I did when I had that phase.”

”You've been not-afraid of dentists too?”

”No, Pinkie. Y'see, back in Manehattan there was this colt called Densel Washingsocks...”

Saving you the trouble again.

Week 9: Rainbow Dash was visiting

”All riiiight! You think they'll be good herders like their mom?” Winona was pretty much a blob at this point.

Applejack didn't want to waste any time. ”How's Tank doin'?”

”Tank? I don't even know where I left him last night... Uh, good, I guess. Maybe a little more inactive than usual, and he's been eating a lot of grass lately. But I'm guessing it's just his way of being awesome and radical like me.” Applejack rolled her eyes.

”Figures. Maybe he's going through a phase or sumthin'. But that's nothin' compared to what I did when I had that phase.”

”Yeah! A cool phase! What? You had one too?”

”Back in Manehattan there was this colt called Andee Peacehol...”

Don't look at me. I didn't know that one.

So we've come back to week 10, and along with it came The Day. It was supposed to be peaceful and very much a private event in the large barn, we'd have told the news when we had the puppies. We were surprised once again. All but one of Applejack's friends showed up just in time to see Winona give birth. And so did their pets.

”Angel! Why did you drag us here? I'm sure Winona can deal with it on her own...”

”Strange enough for Owlowiscious to be awake at this time, even stranger is that he knew exactly when Winona went to labor...”

”This is great! Gummy's Gummy-sense™ really works! It told us Winona was giving birth here today, and Gummy insisted we should join you guys!”

”Have you seen Tank? I think I left him here somewhere... Oh, there he is. Winona's giving birth? That's cool.”

Applejack was shakin' her head with a miffed look on her face. She sighed deep. ”I reckon since yer all here you might as well stay around. Just don't be in the way, okay?” The crowd nodded. ”Good,” AJ continued, ”Macintosh, you're all set?”

”Eeuyp,” I said. I didn't really know what I was supposed to do, but everypony expected me to say ”yup” so I said ”yup”.

”What about you, Apple Bloom?”

”Readier than I'll ever be!” said Apple Bloom, who was also there. I had no clue of her purpose. I think she had homework to attend to...

Anyway, Winona started givin' birth right on the cue we didn't have. There was some squirmin', and some howlin', and some gaspin', but I'm guessin' nothin' serious. Needless to say, Angel, Owlowl... lawls... delicious, Gummy, and Tank were all very keen on being the first to see the puppies. But I wanted that too.

I craned over the new mommy and her five babies. What I saw–

”They all had tails!”

Pinkie Pie! What are you doin' in my story!?

”Sorry, Maccer™, but I want to be the first to see the puppies too!”

Wha– How do you do those things, those tee-ems?

”You mean these™™™™? Easy™ The same way I do these ℗©®½£€$!”

Uh, never mind. Sure, you can stay. Just be quiet and don't interrupt me again!

”Cross my heart, hope to fly–”

Yeah yeah, eat a cupcake, whatever... Where was I? Okay, all the puppies looked pretty much the same. I saw they had no feathers but fur, and no bunny ears either, and no shells – but under the brown fur... There were scales.

”And they were PURPLE! I'm sorry-I'm sorry-I'm sorry!”

OH, BUCK YOU PINKIE PIE!

***

Epilogue

Somewhere in Neighvada

”Thank you for letting me stay here for awhile, Mr. Presslay. My feet really need the rest.”

”You can call me Elwhiz,” says the black-maned stallion with a microphone cutie-mark. ”Okay, Spike, I have a meeting today I can't postpone. I'll be gone all night, both mentally and physically. Help yourself on whatever you like. Just don't touch the flour, I'm saving that for a party.”

”Okay and thank you very much, Elwhiz,” Spike says.

”No problem. If Pressilla calls, just tell her about the meeting. And go feed Lynnie in an hour or so.”

”Lynnie?”

”She's a Germarian Shepherd. Real nice. She's in the quest house in the back. Gotta go now, rock 'n' roll.” The door slams shut. Spike listens to the carriage and doesn't move a muscle until the noise is drowned by the sounds of Lasso Vegas. He runs straight to the back door and across the yard.

”Lynnie. Come here, Lynnie. Good girl. No, it's not dinnertime. Not just yet.”