A minor variation

Chapters

For Want of a Shoe
For Want of a Pony
For Want of a Rider i/vi
For Want of a Rider ii/vi
For Want of a Rider iii/vi
For want of a Rider iv/vi
For Want of a Rider v/vi
For want of a Battle: part i
For want of a Battle: part ii
For want of a Battle: part iii
For want of a Battle: part iv
For want of a Battle: part v
Omake: For want of Karaoke
A Variant Season, Four Letters
A Variant Season, the Greatest Show in Equestia
A Variant Season, Between Friends
A Variant Season, Bleak Season
A Variant Season, Wyrd Days
A Variant Season, On Display
A Variant Season, Horsefeathers
For want of a War, Alpha
For Want of a War, Beta
For Want of a War, Γ (Gamma)
For want of a War, Δelta
For Want of a War, Epsilon
For Want of a War, Zeta
For want of a War, η (Eta)
For want of a War, Ωmega
A Nation is Lost
All for want of a nail
Ellipsis
For Want of a Nail
For Want of a Rider vi/vi
A Variant Season, You Knew it was Coming

For Want of a Shoe

'I can't do this, I can't do this, I ...' Fluttershy looked at the practice range where a handful of fillies and colts milled around, waiting for something to happen. 'I didn't agree to this, I'll tell Rainbow the deal is off. She'll be reasonable... she won't be angry, she... probably won't act upset... no, she'll have that look that says 'I feel like you let me down', but I CAN'T go out-.'

"HI FLUTTERSHY!" The Gray Pegasus watched Fluttershy rocket into the air. "Wow! You can jump really high. Are you here for practice?"

"I. I, hello, Ditzy-"
"Derpy."
"Uh? Are you sure you want to use... you can be called what you want but that means... it's"
"Problem?" The Blonde Pegasus grinned as her eyes slid askew.
"Nevermind."

Reaching down, Derpy helped turn the Yellow Pegasus upright and dusted the clinging bits of cloud off. "Boa-constrictor whale bee hair any minute."

Fluttershy surrendered to the inevitable. Eying her peer group, a sinking feeling developed. A stocky white colt with wings smaller than a newborn's flexed and snorted, an adult brown stallion desperately tried to avoid notice, a gray-green filly with silver blue mane scratched absently at the large paper cone around her neck as she turned her head back and forth to make up for her lack of peripheral vision, a tan filly - obviously several years younger than the rest of the group flexed a pair of wings sized for an adult pegasus, and a dark gray colt with yellow/green mane who was... Fluttershy's mind spasmed, trying to find a nice way to phrase 'fat' before giving up in defeat.

'Ok, before I thought I couldn't do this. Now I KNOW I can't!' Turning to flee, Fluttershy bumped into a mass of white fur. Backing up, she saw a snow white mare with an electric blue mane and tail, her cutie mark a blue line picture of a pony sitting in a chair with wheels.

"Hello everyone, welcome to Omega Flight. Let's get a few things straight here." Fluttershy was unable to move, "This is NOT a 'rejects' class, this is NOT an optional event, you WILL learn to fly to the best of your abilities, you WILL discover your abilities are greater than you believe right now. Failure is NOT an option." the mare flexed her wings, something was wrong with them. "Also, I am NOT just your instructor, I am a GRADUATE of this program, and my name is Differently Able." Smooth white wings splayed out gracefully... upside down.

"Questions?" The practice field was silent. In Fluttershy's peripheral vision she saw Ditzy-err, Derpy 'accidentally' put her hoof into the white colt's mouth. "Alright, clockwise circle, INTRODUCE yourself by name and tell me what you're here to master." Her hoof swung to point at the blonde over gray pegasus wiping a hoof off on clouds.

Derpy threw a salute, "Derpy Doo, I'm here because I have a lazy eye and tarragon spin gnome"

The white colt pounded the cloud in front of him "Snowflake Horsepower! I'm here because I've got tiny wings. Now how do I get out of this horse-apple outfit?"

"Aha, yes, introductions, fancy that. I'm... Tim E. Turner, and I have never... er, used my wings before aha ha aha..." the brown stallion with dark brown mane looked as uncomfortable as Fluttershy felt.

The Blue over green filly swung her limited gaze over the assembled ponies as she boomed out, "My name is Sea Foam, and there is something terribly wrong! I am supposed to be learning to swim. I don't even know what I'm standing on."

"Well, my name's Dorothy Gale, and if it's ok with you I just want to go home", Fluttershy's heart ached for the Roan maned tan filly, obviously out of her depth.

"I'm Thundercloud and this is dumb", the dark gray colt grumbled without making eye contact.

Then, silence. "Psst, 'Shy, it's your turn." Derpy's 'sotto voce' could be heard at the far end of the track.

"Eep! My name is Fluttershy" she squeaked.

Able leaned forward, "didn't quite catch that."

" my name is Fluttershy." She wished the ground would just swallow her, until she remembered where she was, how high up she was.

Able's brow furrowed, "we're NOT going anywhere until we do this correctly."

"Heeba-Dey! Her name is Fluttershy." Derpy looked upset, which made Fluttershy feel worse. 'Can't I do anything without causing trouble for my friends?'

"I was talking to FLUTTERSHY, Miss Doo." Able turned her attention back to the melting butter pegasus. "Now, WHAT are you here to do?" The mare tried to modulate her voice, but irritation was still evident.

"I'm... I'm here because I can't fly well." Snowflake looked like he wanted to cry. 'Huh?'

"Well, I can HEAR you now, at least. But you are ALL wrong. I asked you WHAT you are here to master, and what you are all here to master is FLIGHT. If we can help you master YOURSELVES along the way, great. Oh, and MR. Horsepower? If you swear in my class again you WILL spend your time cleaning the fields, do I make myself clear?" satisfied that Snowflake was cowed, the teacher continued. "You are NOT here because someone considers you weak, malformed, broken, or useless. From now on you ARE to report any such treatment to me, and I WILL see that it is dealt with. I expect each and every one of my little ponies to become productive members of society. Is that CLEAR?"

When she received no response, the mare leaned forward and raised her voice, "I Said. Is. That. CLEAR!" A belated chorus of 'yes', 'Muffins!', and 'Yeah!' seemed to satisfy her. "Ok, NOW, before we proceed, fair is fair, you all shared your own individualities, so I will give you mine: before I was born my mother had an unfortunate run in with a plant known as POISON JOKE and suffered a severe allergic reaction. Unfortunately it WASN'T discovered that the poison was transferred through her bloodstream to me until it was too late. There IS an herbal remedy for normal cases, but Developmental Poison Joke has no treatment. Not only can I fly, but I AM in trusted to instruct foals in how to fly. If I can do it with backwards turned around wings, each and every one of you WILL be able to learn to fly, I promise you. Now, we're going to start with stretches, you WILL follow my instructions. Do not - I repeat, do NOT try to copy my movements!"

'This is so... strange.' Fluttershy was confused enough that she forgot she wanted to leave. That continued to happen on a daily basis, until 'Omega Flight' had become part of her routine.

At least, until the storm.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie, are you honestly going to stand there and betray everything your family stands for because you are 'tired of looking at rocks'!?" The Pie family Matriarch spoke in a quiet, precise, civil tone of voice that disguised none of her discontent.

"Mother, I do not wish to. I do not dislike rocks, but I feel a need for something more." Hiding behind her limp hair had little to no effect, but hiding behind the furniture would have made her mother angrier, so Pinkamena took what shelter she could.

"Dear, I think we should..." Her father reached a tentative hoof outward, torn loyalties etched in his face.

"Clyde, do not question me on this." despite her words, The mare softened her tone as she turned back to her middle daughter. "Pinkamina, will you not see reason? We are ponies of the earth. The Earth and Celestia provide us everything we need, but we must work to earn that bounty."

'I must speak my heart, I must.' "Neigh, mother. I will not see reason, for it is not reason that drives me to speak so. It is my heart - my heart aches. Is there not something, anything I could do to see more of the world? I do not seek to be a burden, and would honor my family as best I can. But, if I continue as I am, I fear something I cannot even name will wither and die, and what will be left of me will be rotten inside."

A mother's heart ached for her foal, her precious pink pony. "Pies are not given to hyperbole, but I would never harm my children, even by inaction. Perhaps... the healer, Miss Poesy has been looking for an apprentice. I shall approach her at the gathering on Sunday and see what may be. You may go and dry your eyes now." she sighed as her daughter fled the room. She turned to the stallion, legs bent as though shouldering a great weight, "Husband, give me your thoughts on this, am I too harsh?"

"Wife, I understand it is a Mother's right and responsibility to rule her household. I will do a Stallion's duty and carry out your decisions as a good husband must. But, I admit gratitude that you have bent upon this issue. Pinkamena has always been ... too bright for our calm world. Surely, she must be meant for greater things."

"We all serve Celestia according to our abilities, tho I feel sorely tax'd as of now."

"I suspect your mother approves, and I know no pony could ask more of you."

"My mother was the next thing to a saint." a smile graced the Mare's lips, "after all, she put up with my sister, my brothers, and myself without braining a single one of us."

"Ok, put the last speaker over there, easy now." It wasn't the weight that was a problem, it was the tension. Holding it just so, that made Applejack's legs wobble. 'It's still better than being under an examination disguised as a dinner'. It had never occurred to the orange pony that there could be such different kinds of parties in Manehattan. Sure, back h... back on the farm there had been dances, reunions, shindigs, and yearling celebrations, but even two weeks ago she wouldn't have known what a 'club scene' was, and a 'wub' would have been baby talk to her. A white unicorn watched her with intense concern, sighing in relief as Applejack carefully set the huge speaker down on the red taped 'X'.

"Are you sure you have everything set up to your liking? Perhaps you could rearrange everything a third time?" The Gray Earth Pony's ironic tone seemed to escape the unicorn's notice entirely.

"Nope, this is going to be perfect, O. Thanks again for helping out, Jackie". That was new too, the nickname. 'Seems like everywhere I go I have another name: Applejack, Abigail, and now Jackie...'

It had started a week ago. The trip to Poney Island was a revelation. Not that any of the attractions there were anything she couldn't have found at a country fair or the 'social', but just the idea that the city consisted of more than high society - that there was in fact a 'low society' for it to be compared to. The contrast made it easier to accept the whole - especially once she found out that some of the 'upper crust' in fact indulged in what they called 'slumming' - she definitely didn't like the term, but it meant she could get away with slipping off to Harelem or the East Village without scandalizing her Aunt and Uncle.

It also didn't hurt that she was coming into her last growth spurt and could pass for older than she was - that bothered her a little bit, but if ponies didn't ask it didn't seem like she was obligated to tell them their mistake. The dancing and the laughter were a great release from the squeezed and cramped sensation the refined parties left her with.

Meeting cousin Woody Apple had been good, too. Auntie and Uncle seemed to be indulgently tolerant of him. He would ramble most of the time, but he had a dry witty sense of humor, and seemed to come up with jokes off the hoof that would leave her rolling on the floor in laughter.

The biggest thing though, had been meeting the musicians. The two of them were students at the Manehattan School of Performing Arts, they played at local clubs to try and offset their student loans. The meeting had been an accident, really. Half deaf after a performance, Jackie had stumbled out into the concession area and seen a frustrated White unicorn with a streaked blue mane wrestling with a vending machine and invoking Celestia's wrath on it. The only decent thing to do was walk over and give the machine a buck to show it that who was in charge. She hadn't even expected a 'thank you' - you learned not to expect politeness from Manehattanites - much less had she expected to be glomped by a teary unicorn.

Vinyl Scratch didn't do what was expected of a unicorn - that much Jackie learned right quick. She was introduced to Octavia Strings, and the roadies for their experimental band 'Vinyl Octave Overdrive'. Octavia was quiet and refined, respectful and pretty nice once you realized how tight a lid she kept on all her responses. Vinyl was... wild, unrestrained, expressive, and far more considerate than those characteristics would have lead Applejack to expect. When one of their normal crew, mostly members of the Phi Nu Iota Fraternity called off for an important performance, Applejack found herself volunteering to help them move their gear - well, Vinyl's gear really, Octavia brought little more than her Viola, and nopony touched her instruments but her. Well, it was obvious that Vinyl must have had something to do with electrifying the instrument, but Octavia was very protective of it.

Although a lifetime could be spent studying the many precepts, the 'Art of Pony War' has four important things to say about going to war, other than the central rule: "Only go to war if you think you'll win".

'Step 1, keep to the offensive.'
"How can you do this to me!?"

"Young lady, you will not take that tone with your parents."

'Step 2, divide and conquer.'
"Dad, you said you thought I could handle it."

"Your mother and I have talked it over and we made a completely mutual decision that a filly your age simply cannot travel to Zebrica, even with supervising adults. There's just no way our precious baby is going to be thrown into a wild jungle thousands of miles away with our approval."

'Step 3, divert the opponent from their source of strength. Oh Sun Hoof, don't fail me now...'

"This is my life! I want to make a difference in ponies lives... even if they aren't ponies - all sentient species deserve Love and Tolerance."

"Doesn't that mean that ponies living in your own country deserve consideration? You seem to forget that we're letting you do this 'volunteer program' at all because you agreed to abide by our decisions." The gray and purple of her mother's mane was swaying ever so slightly, revealing her subconscious shaking of her head 'Aack! retreat, retreat!'

"Young filly, this opening at Sweet Apple Acres is perfect. You'll be far enough away that you can feel you are making a break from school and ... us. You'll be helping an important historical landmark remain in the original founder's family, learning horticulture and local history, and most importantly your father won't be a nervous wreck the entire time."

"But..."

"And Lastly," 'oh no,' "the mission to Zebrica is part of the Pony Corps, NOT the Canterlot Civilian Conservation Corps that we agreed to let you apply for." Her mother's glower was ruined by her attempts to smother the grin her pride in her stubborn daughter brought on.

'Step 4, when all else fails and the battle is hopeless, surrender to an honorable enemy, stubborn defiance is foalish and a waste in the face of mercy.' She sighed, "Okay, you win. I'll go to Apple Arches or whatever. There's just nothing in Ponyville, and I'm pretty sure nothing will ever happen there."

"First you have to grow a little before you can go risking your life." Her parents pulled Twilight into a hug," And we do want you to know how proud we are of you, sweetie. A month ago you would have fought hoof and horn against being dragged out of your bed an hour early..."

"This is something I feel I have to do. Somewhere out there is whatever I didn't find before. I was so sure..." 'Keep it together Twilight, you tried and you failed. A sane pony tries something new, and you are a sane pony aren't you? Even if you are talking to yours-shut up! Keep it together...' "Right, I'll do this." Her parents relaxed visibly as she pulled herself out of her funk. "Well, I guess I'll go see what the library has on... arborculture."

Some things never change.

Rarity loved her parents.
Really.

There might be a list a mile long of things they did or said or didn't do and didn't say correctly, but that was all fussing. The truth was, only someone truly close to you can inspire the kind of agonized frustration she was feeling at the moment. "Father, please, put that down, it's... well I'm not sure what it is but I know it's priceless, the historical value is..." Yes, she must love these people who were doing their best to embarrass her so utterly. The worst part was that the Maresons seemed to be taken with them. Her father was animatedly discussing the local Hoofball prospects with Mr. Radcliffe, while Mrs. Amelia was discussing the finer points of childproofing with Rarity's mother and laughing at stories about Sweetie - her new little sister, the only family member not to betray Rarity. Yet.

In all, it was probably for the best that her parents had been able to make it to Canterlot so soon. 'If I'd had any time to really get established here I suppose I'd be heartbroken at returning to Ponyville, instead of simply ... disappointed.'

"Yeah, we knew from a pret-ty young age that our little Rare here was ... rare. She's got this natural grace an' she's got an eye for detail, let me tell ya'." Well, it wasn't so bad to have her family here...

"Well, I certainly must compliment your child-rearing skills. She has been no trouble at all while we were trying to find you. It is simply fortuitous that your husband's co-worker remembered you were camping in Whitetail woods..." Getting out of camping had been a minor achievement in itself, her contribution to the play had been instrumental in...

"The school play! I completely forgot about it - what happened? Were they able to carry on with those dreadful costumes I slapped together?" Rarity realized her legacy might be at risk.

"Oh, yeah, I heard they did a pretty good job. The costumes were good, easy to move in and they didn't detract too much from the little fillies and colts reciting their lines." That was her father, master wordsmith.

"Ah, and what was the production?"

"Oh, I think it was called 'Hijinks Ensue' or something. It was a local, Shady Oaks Elementary School doesn't have a fancy theatrical department" 'That was an understatement'. The glance the Archaeological couple gave each other was unreadable.

"Er, Mr. and Mrs. Bell? Ahem, as I stated earlier, we were quite impressed with your daughter. And, in fact, since we knew you would at least need a few days to manage the trip here." 'Which the two of you paid for, don't think I didn't notice.' "Hem, and during that time we... well we offered her the chance to help us out with cataloging the results of our last dig. Short story, we are convinced that she has a great deal of potential."

'Interesting, what are they having such a hard time saying?' "Well, that is to say - with no disrespect to Celestia's excellent public education system, which we are outspoken champions of - but we feel that Rarity might benefit from access to ... higher education" 'Come again?'

The Bells looked at each other uneasily. "Well now, that's really nice of you to say, but we don't make so much in bits, ya know? Of course we want the best for our daughter but-"

"Er, Hoofbody, I do believe you forgot to mention the scholarship?" What!?
"What?" 'Is there an echo in here?'

"Well obviously this is a rather large decision for you to have to consider on such short notice, please feel free to stay and consider it for a few days we wouldn't want-"

"Fella, you and your friend there are crazy." 'Oh no, please Father, don't ruin-' "But I think that's a kind of crazy Equestria needs. Frankly, I kind'a thought all you upper crust folk were going to be all stuffy and snooty." 'Oh dear sweet Celestia, he's shocked them so badly Radcliffe has fallen over!'

"Mareson! Stop laughing so, you are acting disgracefully!" The large Stallion was rolling on the floor, tears of laughter rolling down his cheeks. Amelia turned to the Bells, her cheeks red. "Well, I can't say you are far wrong about a great many of our 'contemporaries'. What makes the difference is that our interests lie outside the plush homes and gardens of the ... 'upper crust' as you put it. Quite frankly, I can think of a number of ponies who could use a 'good kick in the flank.' "

"By Celestia's beard! I do think I enjoy your company a far sight more than any Duke or Baroness you wish to name, and I shan't even start on the Heart family. That ghastly beast of a child they are raising shall be the most intolerable of them all if I don't miss my mark." The stallion's sobriety returned, helped by the glare of death provided by his companion.

"Well, this is provisional mind you, but it seems like we'd have to be plum loco not to hear you out. What do you have in mind?" Rarity often forgot that her mother was in fact quite savvy when it came to negotiations, she had never heard anyone else haggle quite like her mother...

"Excellent! Have you heard of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns by any chance?" It was too much, Rarity didn't even realize she had fainted until she hit the floor. 'Oof! Next time, find a couch.'

"Rainbow Danger Dash!" 'Well THAT'S not a good sign.' "Just what in the Hay-fries do you think you're trying to pull?" Thunder Dash was outspoken, outstanding in the weather guard, and outraged. 'That's like three strikes in one.'

"Right now? Not a whole lot, I'm still in recovery." Dash flexed her healing wing to emphasize the ace bandages adorning them.

"You know that was a metaphor Rainbow." And that was her mother, technically accurate but missing the point.

"I met who now?" It was dumb to bait them, but Dash had a lot of anger she'd had no way to defuse for too long now.

"Young filly, you had better start taking this conversation seriously"
"Old man, you better start taking ME seriously!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"

Thunder abruptly sat down with a satisfied nod, "alright, impress me. I see you haven't lost All of your spirit, so why on Clouds are you trying to drop all your advanced flight training classes for... design?"

'Well this is new.' Not the change of moods, Rainbow's father had always been like that, abrupt, intense, and respectful of strong will. "Well, you heard about the race, right? And obviously you know I... well, they won't or can't tell me exactly what happened, but I got hurt enough so I couldn't fly, couldn't even get out of bed for about a month." A sympathetic shudder went through both her parents.

"Well, what you probably don't know is WHY I crashed or whatever. Y'see, the race happened 'cause these three meatheads were picking on my friend, Fluttershy. But when the race started, she... got knocked off her cloud, and she... well she was too surprised to pull out of her fall," It was a lie, but not much of one.

"And, well, I lost a shoe when one of the colts rammed me, and out of the corner of my eye I see 'Shy falling earthward. So the race is forgotten, buck those guys you know? I... well I got hurt making sure she didn't. And while I was recup- getting better, I had, well, a lot of time to think. About all sorts of stuff. The one thing that actually led anywhere,"'Besides the pile of guilt I still feel, sorry Fluttershy but you can't decide I'm off the hook so easy.' "Well, I was thinking about that shoe. and about sports gear in general, and then on to how all kinds of stuff is put together, from saddlebags to the Cloudeseium."

"And...?"
"AND I think that I want to devote my life to making ponies safer, in the most awesome ways possible."
"By what, designing clothing? Pssht, yeah 'Rainbow Dash, always in style' I can see it now."

"I'm not talking fru-fru, and maybe not even clothing at all. I just, well I did some drawing - I did a LOT of drawing, there wasn't really anything else to do. Just, just look at some of it and tell me what you think." 'This is going to be the hardest part, making them see what I saw looking back at my drawings.' She'd gotten better as she went along, but she'd started to realize she was really getting pretty good... for a bed-bound filly with no previous training.

But as she feared, her father just flipped through the pads she handed over and shoved them at her mother. He was about to open his mouth again, and the world exploded.

For Want of a Pony

"After THREE months of training, hard work, and determination I am proud to say that I feel each and EVERY one of you is skilled enough to join Pegasus Society in a role of your own choosing." Differently Able beamed at her students, arranged before her on a long, low flying, cloud. "This is NOT an honor that comes with a medal... a trinket is a thing you can lose. Instead I offer you a MEMORY, something that will stay with you for the rest of your life and canNOT be taken, stolen, or lost." The wind, which had been blowing, increased in intensity, the sky beginning to dim.

Thundercloud raised a hoof, huffing "Yeah, that's great and all, but why are we meeting so far from Cloudsdale. In sight of the ... Everfree Forest?" the colt's frame suggested there was now some muscle under everything else.

"The air feels strange..." Muttered Gale, the youngest student.

"Hah, Miss Gale, you may have a future in WEATHER management! As you know, each of you has not only qualified for your class ONE competency certificate, but has also passed the test for class TWO: Difficult weather safety. We are indeed here, near the boundary of the EVERFREE forest because I have received permission from the LOCAL weather team to ASSIST in storm watch."

Differently Able grinned from ear to ear, proud of the gift she could provide her little ponies. Those little ponies did not look as enthusiastic as she did, but she either didn't notice or intended to ignore their reservations. " OUR job is to..." Able raised her voice against the wind, which was now whistling through some of the taller trees nearby. "IS to watch the edge of the STORM that Has Spontaneously GENERATED From The FOREST! If WE Determine! The STORM Is Coming! TOo CLOSE! To PONYVILLE, The WEATHER TEAM WILL STEP IN AND CONTAIN-" The rest of Able's speech was drowned out by the formation of a funnel cloud, tearing the ground where it touched down, winds howling and thunder flashing from the nearly pitch black storm cloud.

"The 'Storm of Ages'... oh bloody he-" Turner's words went unheard. He began a frantic search of his saddlebags.

"CLASS IN DISMISSED! RUN MY LITTLE PONIES! RUN!" Of the many faces Omega Flight had seen Differently Able make, abject terror had never been one, until now.

"Feral Marmots!" Derpy began shoving classmates over the side of the cloud, just missing Dorothy Gale, who took flight in her panic, only to be swept up into the storm almost instantly.

"HOOVES!" Able screamed at the stallion.
"W-WHAT!? HOW DID YOU-" A metallic cylinder dropped.

"GET! ON! YOUR! HOOVES!" Any other words of advice were lost as the storm tore apart the cloud the two adult pegasi were standing on, as a bolt of lightning transfixed the white pony.

As Turner dragged/controlled fell with Able's body, Fluttershy was locked in panic.

Everything stopped. Fluttershy could make out individual raindrops, which looked exactly like the tears on everypony's faces. Terror, shock, horror for their teacher or themselves, or simple weather, it was all water. 'Well, tears have salt, and rain isn't salty. I wonder if different kinds of tears have different amounts of salt?' The idea was absurd, she suppressed a giggle, if she started she might never stop.

Motion. A pony, approached from the frozen storm. Stormlight bleached her colors pale yellow and ashen pink. 'Do... do I look like that?' The mirror pony stopped directly in front of her, frowned, and summarily smacked Fluttershy's face with her hoof.

Tears brimmed, the echo glared and raised her hoof again, waiting. "W-Why-" Smack.
"Stop being so horse-feathered selfish!" 'No, she's not like me, I'd never be-'. Smack.

"You are going to DIE. Your friends are going to DIE. Your teacher... is going to DIE! And what do you do? Cry?"

'There's nothing I CAN do!' Smack.

"There doesn't seem to be anything you WILL do." The doppelganger tilted her head and smiled in an insincere and sacharine manner "Oh, wait, you'll cry. What you mean is you won't lift a feather to help anypony."

"What can I possibly do? I'm not good-" Smack.

"Don't. You. Dare. Too many ponies have made sacrifices for you. Now it's time to start paying it back."

"O-okay." Smack. "Wait," Smack. "I'll do it!" Smack. "STOP HITTING ME!"
...
"Hmph, took long enough." The rain started falling again.

Smack. "Butter Pie!" Derpy's left eye was practically spinning.

Fluttershy stood, "Thanks, now get out of here. Wait, on second thought, come with me." She turned to Thundercloud and Snowflake, gesturing at their fallen teacher, "Everypony grab a leg, we need to get her out of here!"

Nopony argued, each lifted a different limb and raised the mare off the ground. Barking orders, Fluttershy led organized chaos to the dubious shelter of a copse of trees a few hundred yards from where the group had fallen.

"Turner, you're the only one here big enough to move Teacher on their own. I remember seeing a cottage on the way here, it was that way, towards town. I'm not a doctor, but I'm sure that being out here isn't helping her. You two, help me get her onto Turner's back."

"I ... I..." the brown stallion's eyes darted back and forth.

"Tim, look at me Tim. I'm going to say this, and it is the most important thing I will ever say to you: run." He ran. "The rest of you, stay on the ground, I think Miz Able was right - you saw what happened to Dorothy." Nopony moved.

"What're you going to do?" Thunderball asked.
"Somepony has to alert the Weather Team Teacher said was standing by."
"Hey! You just said not to fly!" Snowflake snapped.

"Somepony has to, the rest of you tell anypony you see, but get out of here. Without you, there won't be any Omega Flight."

"The school is stronger than the single swimmer!"
"Brainpan cosmonaught-Grr! We can't leave you behind." Four determined stares met Fluttershy's.
"...Then let's go." 'This feeling, what is it? It's light and heavy at the same time.'

It didn't take long to find the Weather Team, who were already heading towards the storm. The Captain of the team flew down toward them. "Keep going! This isn't a safe place for civilians!"

"We're not civilians. We're your lookout team, and we have a storm to report!"

"Well, consider it reported! Now get out of here, we hardly have the wingpower to steer this monstrosity. If we have to look out for... we can't be watching over you."

"Sounds like you need everypony you can get if you're going to beat this storm, sir. And we're not rejects, we're Omega Flight."

"Look kid, to make any impact on this thing we'd need a combined wingpower of over eight hund-."

"Never tell me the odds! Look, we're not going. Arguing is only going to waste your time, so just take our help and be greatful... if that's ok with you." 'Oh my stars, am I really yelling at a Weather Captain!? I'm insane... nevermind.'

"Okey dokie, that's the last of the windows secured Miz Posey. I've made sure all the animals are safely inside, and made double sure the... carnivores aren't with the plant eaters." The Pink Pony practically pranced in place she was so anxious.

"Oh, that's good dearie. Have you-"
"The fire is out, the flue is closed."
"Well good, what about-"

"All the glass stuff is in boxes with towels wrapped around it, stacked with the medicines and ointments on top for easy access." Her feet were raising and lowering one at a time. 'Be still' she admonished herself.

"Hah, Child I do not know where you get the energy. Forgive an old Nag who is frustrated she can no longer see to preparations herself. The price of having access to herbs and plants that won't grow anywhere else is these unpredictable-". Thunderous pounding resounded from the door, the regularity suggested pony agency rather than wind.

"Got it," Pinkamena pulled the door open, only to have it swing from her grasp and smack against the wall as the wind blew in. Two drenched ponies, one on top of the other, huddled outside.

"Please, help." Stammered the stallion, as the pink pony was already herding him inside and moving to draw the obviously unconscious mare from off his back. "Lightning strike, airborne, fell." He huffed before losing consciousness himself.

'Internal burn, shock, exposure. Whatdoidowhaddoido? She's WAY bigger than a bunny. Ok, priorities, door.' Putting her back against the door, Pinkamina shoved the door closed inch by inch. "Miz Posey? Customers!"

The elderly mare clip-clopped her way to the main room. "Alright Pinkamina Diane, what can you tell me?"

'Argh a lesson right now!?'. "Well, her friend said she was struck by lightning while flying, I can see the burn here on her back left hoof where it exited and it must have entered from... here just above the tail. Her breathing is even but shallow, her hide is cool but her breath is still warm..." On and on, the observations detailing the extent of the injury, suggesting details that couldn't be seen, and specifying the process of treatment. As she ran out of details, Posey began giving directions, in a crisp but gentle tone and the younger pony flashed back and forth, almost leaving echoes of herself in her haste to start the treatment before the patient could get any worse.

It would be hours before anyone noticed the markings on her flank, three plusses in an arc, the middle above the two ends, in yellow, blue and yellow respectively.

Weather Ponies and the students of Differently Able flew around the storm counterclockwise. 'Ok, so we start flying in the opposite direction the storm is spinning and we ...what, create a counter-whirlwind to slow it down? This is insane, this is the only thing we can do. I can do this, we can do this, we ARE going to do this!' Faster and faster they circled. The howling winds began to double back on themselves, the storm's progress slowed. Cloudy traces were starting to form behind some ponies as the very air fought against them. Oh no... wait! ... Surface resistance creates drag... and ... !'

Memories of Rainbow Dash discussing the Pony 500 flashed in her mind. "Captain!" Fluttershy shouted over the storm.

The captain glanced at the demanding filly, eyes narrowed in concentration even under his standard issue goggles.
"We need to form a draft line!" There was no sign he understood. No sign he was going to do what Fluttershy wanted.

'He's not going to listen, we're not going to... NO! If he won't listen, MAKE him listen.' She drew a breath, released it, and redoubled her flying. Flapping up behind the Captain, onto his back, she grabbed the sides of his head. "LISTEN To me! The amount of speed we need to stop this thing, we're going to run into air resistance! We need to form a draft trail, so we're like a needle instead of a parachute." she was practically screaming in his ear. Shock initially, anger, consideration, surprise, more anger, and resignation flashed across the Captain's face as he turned and saluted Fluttershy.

The orders went out "Line Up! Grab the tail of the pony in front of you, and by the Princes's Corona, fly as hard as you can!" It worked, at first. They got down to a single file, and started passing Ponies up the line to keep the freshest flyer at the front. When Fluttershy's turn came, she saw that they were all flagging. 'We can't keep this up much longer - but it's almost worked, we have to finish this now!' She didn't have any reserves left, she flew harder anyway. She banked toward the storm, dropping a few feet to gain speed. Flew further in, pressed harder. She felt like her wings were going to fall off, the opposing wind pressed against her face, she couldn't pull air in.

The storm collapsed in on itself. Most of it just dispersed, a wave of water was squeezed out, the core was pulled into a tight sphere along with all the electrical potential of the storm. A bright ball of energy collapsed past the point it could stand and exploded outward as an expanding disk of cloud and thunder, racing across the upper skies of Equestria.

None of the Weatherponies or Omega Flight saw any of this, since they had all been concentrating on the flank in front and not being intruded on from behind. The arrival of Fluttershy's Cutie Mark, a storm-cloud in the shape of a butterfly, also went unnoticed.

Twilight Sparkle contemplated the apple tree in front of her. 'Malus domestica, Cultivar Red Delicious, South field, row 12 tree 2, Bloomenthal the 2nd.' Satisfied that she had identified the tree in question, she addressed the taste of apples, the feel of bark, the smell of freshly watered soil, and the darn fact that she couldn't buck an apple to save her life. "Look, I'm here to help pick apples. Mr. Macintosh and Mrs. Smith say it's ok that I'm not strong enough to make apples fall, and I think it's heavily implied that I'd have to be an Earth Pony to do it right anyway... but I'm going to be helpful!" Shouting at the tree did not help.

'All of my studies were wrong, obvious, or things that members of the Apple family were the first to learn anyway! The only things I have that I can contribute are brainpower, organizational skill, and magic. My theoretical knowledge is trumped by the practical knowledge the Apples already have, ditto for the organization of the farm... mental note, the Zap Apple rituals are fascinating, make sure you document Mrs. Smith's methodologies. Argh! Focus! That only leaves magic, and plucking one apple at a time telekinetically is ridiculously inefficient, probably why the Apples developed bucking in the first place. I can't learn to buck because I'm not strong enough and I don't get plants the way an earth pony would!'

Twilight stopped wheezing before she hyperventilated and regained her wits. 'The solution is obvious, in hindsight. If magic is my tool to unlock this dilemma, then the key is a spell. A spell like Verdant Horn's "Analyze Plant" which I just.so.happen. to have found at the local library.'

With a smile that was only slightly self congratulatory, Sparkle unrolled the scroll in question with her magic and began formulating the mental symbols that would mold her magic to the desired effect. Glowing sigils popped, one at a time, from her horn and began surrounding her in a gentle violet glow. Arranging themselves into two rings, they rotated in opposite directions, shifting colors to a deep green. The upper ring drifted forward, surrounding the tree, Bloomenthal the 2nd. A hazy green glow tethering the two rings, and therefore the pony and tree. The rings condensed into their targets with an audible pop.

A rapidly expanding ring of rippling gray streaked across the sky, followed by an explosive roar that completely shattered Twilight's concentration. Her carefully orchestrated spell fell apart as reservoirs of magical potential she never contemplated let alone knew of poured into the purple pony's mind. It suffused her horn in a brilliant fuchsia glow and caused her eyes to emit white light that would have blinded anypony looking into them. The spell, disrupted but not dispersed, provided an outlet for the massive magical energy emission. A deep green shockwave blasted across Sweet Apple Acres, without causing so much as a single leaf to fall.

'I... I can see... every plant, every limb, every vein on every leaf. I can feel them growing, I know what photosynthesis feels like. It's all connected. It's so... perfect.' Tears streamed down eyes that went from floodlights to flashlights to a dim residual glow. Twilight didn't even realize she'd been floating until her hooves touched the ground. Gently, the spell ended, but the experience was burned deeply into the unicorn's memory, etched in green. 'All of it, it's just so...' She wiped the remaining tears away with a wistful smile on her face.

"Twai-ligh! Twilight Sparkles!" Big Macintosh galloped up the road, concerned for the volunteer worker. "There y'are Miss Sparkles, you ok?", Twilight was pretty sure the 'Sparkles' thing had originally been a mistake, then a joke, and had simply become habit. She considered it part of her training in not getting upset by minor details... most of the time; although she had the feeling it wouldn't bother her much anymore. "I say, did th' explosion damage your ears, Miss Sparkles?"

'Huh, oh, right, social interaction.' "Sorry, I'm ok Mr. Macintosh-"
"Big Mac will just fine-" Big Mac caught sight of something, stared, realized where he was staring, and looked away blushing furiously. "Y'got somethin' on your..." he gestured behind Twilight.

"On my what?" Twilight turned around once before looking at her flank, where her newly acquired cutie mark lay. Nine stars arranged in a hexagon, points vertical, with lines between and one star below pointing earthward. "The... the tree of knowledge?" 'I don't know what to say.' "I don't know what to say." She didn't know what to say.

"Whell Ah say this calls for a party!" cried a diminutive voice from Big Mac's saddlebags.
"Apple Bloom!"

"Well it does! An then she's got ta plan her Cuteciñera. You know ah've already planned mine out? I can let you see mah notes, if'n you want some ideas." She looked so earnest, this tiny filly.

"Applebloom! Don't go botherin' Twilight, this's a special moment."

"Actually, I think I'd like that, Applebloom. Let's go back to the house. Ohmigosh, is Mrs- Granny Smith ok?"

"Heh, take more'n an overgrown thunderhead to take out Granny."
"... you know, I think this is more words than I've heard you say in the last week."
"Eyup."
"You... really don't like to waste words, do you?"
"Mnope."

'You're kidding, right? Where did they even GET a dragon's egg? Focus Rarity, if this is a normal entrance exam test then it can't be beyond the capabilities of unicorns your age.' Not a drop of sweat fell from her brow as Rarity frowned in concentration at the cart and egg before her. In the back ground the board of examining unicorns frowned and scribbled on their notepads. Her parents stood off to the side, straining between pride and the desire not to interrupt her exam. Sweetie Bell was asleep on her mother's back.

"Any time now, Miss Bell" the Head examiner grumbled.

His complaints were ignored. 'First thing, all eggs need warmth. Dragons have a rather great capacity for warmth, so probably it needs more than a chicken would... ' Azure lit her horn as she applied a cantrip originally designed for heat-sealing fusible tape. 'Ok, now an egg is round, like a sphere. A sphere distributes stress evenly so in order to crack the surface of an egg... uneven pressure is needed - hmm... the picture shows the shell splitting in half, height-wise. Sh-should I try to pull it apart!? What if the dragon isn't ready? I don't want to kill it!'

Her breathing deepened and became a huff. 'No! This egg was prepared for the exam, it must be ready. And if I'm wrong, surely they have it warded? Canterlot isn't known for avenging dragon raids, so they can't be killing unhatched dragons left and right. Ok... breathe... So, pull...' More blue light enveloped the egg, causing it to flatten slightly face on. 'Ok, now for the uneven press-'

With a thunderous crash, all the southern windows shattered as a near-solid wave of fog slammed into them. Screams stopped almost as soon as they began, everypony realizing they had not been cut to ribbons by shattered glass. Rarity floated, a foot off the ground, sweat dripping out of every pore, the message coming from her mind saying 'Leave them alone!'.

Her horn lost it's light, Rarity collapsed, and the glass fell to the ground without harming anypony in the room. Everyone was so happy to be alive, and busy telling each other that they were, in fact, still alive, that it took nearly ten minutes to notice the newly hatched baby dragon on the cart. The fallen filly's flank flaunted a five gem pentagram with a larger stone depicted at the center.

"Oh, I'm sorry, have your YEARS of blasting toneless noise into your ears finally rendered you deaf? I said I'm tired of you insulting symphonic music!"

"Oh I'm sorry, have your years of having a conductor's baton up your plot left you... unable to do anything but sniff disapprovingly when ponies try to have a little something called FUN!?"

'Well this isn't going well at all.' Applejack had been listening to Vinyl and Octavia snipe back and forth for longer than she cared to think about. They were five minutes late for the start of 'Vinyl Octave Overdrive's last on-tour performance, and they were NOT having this latest spat (of a long line of arguments) in privacy. No, they were on STAGE. With an AUDIENCE who had come to hear music - 'well, I HOPE they came here to listen to music. We're doomed if they actually came here expectin' a fight.'

Worst of all, there was no way of telling if one of them was in the right. It just went back and forth. Usually they made their jabs and stopped short of setting each other off, but since they had been on the road, unable to escape from each other for more than an hour at a time things had... escalated. A favorite record got broken. A cello was smashed at the end of the last performance (the audience had loved it, Octavia had been livid). Snacks were swiped, glasses got 'lost', techno blared all night, and then instruments were tuned loudly all morning. It was a MESS.

And this was the end of it. It was supposed to be the end of it. This performance would provide enough bits to send everyone home, pay off a significant portion of student loan-age, and end the tour contract. The contract was the 'other' problem. Scratch and Octavia had a dynamic, anyone could see that. The agent who crafted the tour could see it, and so he stipulated that they had to put on at least ten performances before the contract was fulfilled and they got any money. They had pulled off nine performances, and had to cancel four times. This, the fourteenth tour stop was it.

'Y'know, I ain't gettin' paid enough fer this. I could just walk away now. Hoofington is nice this time of year I hear.' She was in Hoofington. 'Horseapples. No, I can't let it end like this. The crowd came here for a performance, and I'm going to see to it they get one!' "Hold on girls, I've got to go get a few props. You... just keep entertaining the crowd with your verbal skills now." Fortunately, neither performer heard her over the sound of their own grievances.

Dashing back to her personal trunk, Applejack pulled out items that had remained tucked at the bottom since... since she left the farm. 'Dangit, no time for melancholy now. It's up to you to make sure everypony leaves here with a smile.' With renewed resolve, the orange pony slipped into Octavia's room to retrieve a recording by Aaron Cropland.

Racing back onstage, she checked that neither musician was injured, and made a dive for the record table. Cranking the volume - then pausing and turning it down to an agressive 7 from a brutal 11 'Why does she even have it set like that? Ten could be top volume and it'd be round at least. Focus Jackie, focus.' One last look over her gear, adjustment of her boots, and girding of her resolve left her with no more excuses.

Music blasted from the speakers, and a one pony rodeo exploded onto the stage. She leapt, she hollered, she roped, she wrangled. There was juggling, there were acrobatics, somepony threw a tomato, she lassoed it and returned it to sender. She was losing them, ponies were getting up from their seats and heading to the doors. About the best result was that Vinyl and 'Octy' weren't fighting anymore, they were staring, dumbfounded. It wasn't working, the only people smiling were the ones enjoying the abject failure of others.

'Jackie' was just bringing her lasso in to wrap it up again when the wall of clouds screamed across the sky. Some last bit of remaining lightning managed to find the stage's radio transmitter and decided to perform a last bit of mischief by shorting out everything plugged into the electrical system. One minute Jackie was twirling the rope into a neat coil to catch with her teeth (pride it proper usage outweighed her desire to find a rock to hide under), and the next an ear-splitting skwak jerked her head sharply and she was trussed up tighter than a pig at a rodeo.

"Shoot, I'm tied up tighter than a pig at a rodeo." Laughter, genuine amusement made audible. 'What? That's funny to them? It's just what we used to say down... I wonder,' "Hay, you two ladies wanna help a girl out here, or are you still peckin' at each other like a mess a' hens after the corn's been thrown?" Again, laughter, maybe even a few cheers. Best of all, two shame-faced musicians helped her out of the ropy mess she was wrapped in.

'No time for pride now, rack that brain girl.' "Ya ever notice how every place has it's own way of sayin' 'boy do I ever have a bad hangover?' In Ponyville we called it 'Celestia's Wrath', in Manehattan it's 'Partied too Hard', in Colton they say 'It's Monday', and in Hoofington... they say 'Gimme another beer'." 'Wait, this IS Hoofington, aw ponyfeathers.' The laughter was thunderous, ponies whistled, stomped, and most importantly got back into their seats.

Jackie kept it up for a half an hour, behind her silent apologies were exchanged and last minute stage preparations happened. Vinyl had to drag her off stage. "So, why didn't you tell us you were a comedian?"

"I just found out about thirty minutes ago." A hug and a hoof bump later, Vinyl pointed at Jackie's flank, where an apple and an orange were supported by cross-tied green and blue balloons. "Well now if that don't just beat all." 'Sure doesn't tell me where I belong, but I guess I don't really have to decide, do I?'

"Pops! Pop!" Rainbow called to her father desperately. He shook his head, which felt like it rattled. "Hey, you ok? I think the blue one ended up over by you". She was holding a pad of paper and a yellow and a red crayon.

Without thinking, Thunder Dash reached to his left, picked up something the right size, and handed over a blue crayon. "Thanks, pop. Mom's over there, she's fine."

Perfunctory care provided, Rainbow Dash turned to her canvas. She worked with a quiet desperation, the 'cloudboom' had left her with an inspiration that threatened to vanish at a moment's notice. Filing in the last part, she placed a dot in the lower right and turned her masterpiece around. A single Curving arc, that somehow embodied the line of a wing, a predator crouched to strike, the front of a raging flood, and many other metaphors for action was drawn in red yellow and blue. Underneath it in cyan, were three words: 'Just do it.' Nopony noticed that the same 'swoosh' graced the filly's flanks with a paintbrush crossing it.

Sunny Rains put a hoof on her husband's shoulder. A single tear fell down Thunder Dash's cheek. "Featherin' Brilliant."

For Want of a Rider i/vi

For want of a Rider

part i of vi

For want of a Party

"-And I SAY that without a qualified, medically trained, physician standing by you had NO CALL making an important decision like that!" Pinkamena Diane tried not to think of the Stallion as a bad pony, 'He's upset because the situation was unfair to begin with,' "You know very well that in the eyes of the law you are only licensed as an apothecary, and only of non-restricted substances at that!" She squinted her eyes and tried really, really hard not to get upset back at the hospital manager.

The elderly pale rose pony with faded blue yellow and pink mane leaned forward, adjusting her reading glasses "Mr... Oat? Oh, Oath. Dr. Oath, this was a simple case of triage. The patient was badly injured, near death, and completely" her mild and friendly tone turned to ice "and I do say COMPLETELY unsafe to be moved any further. An ambulance trip could have killed her." 'But he already knew that... that's what you're not saying, isn't it, Mistress?'

"We can't know what was true then. What I do know now is that thanks to your lack of action, there is NO chance the victim will ever walk again!" 'Hmm, bloodshot really doesn't work with his blue eyes and mint green coat.' the pink pony thought to herself, trying to distance herself from the argument.

"This is completely ridiculous, I had a choice between a living but disabled patient or an intact dead one. What would your school have told you to choose?" Rosey Poesy was old, slow to most things, including anger. Slow is not the same as immune, and the Doctor's derisive snort was pulling at her temper something fierce. "You are impossible, why can't I speak with Dr. Crooked House? There was a medical sort with a little sense of practicality."

Dr. Oath's expression shifted between disgust and satisfaction. "Dr. House no longer has a license to practice medicine in Equestria, because - in part - of the fact that he also ignored procedure in favor of his 'hunches'."

Dr. Oath caught himself, settled his breathing and tried on a winning smile, which failed because it was indistinguishable from a condescending one. "Miss Poesy, I'm sure medical insurance will cover the damages that may... or may not have occurred. What I'm seeking is your word that a mistake like this will not occur again. If some unfortunate soul should happen upon your doorstep, badly injured and needing help, why all you have to do is contact us. I... could have a supply of emergency scrolls brought up if purchasing them would be a ... hardship."

"Ah, so what you're saying is that it's not what happened here - but that we didn't tell you ... before anything was done for that mare?" The Doctor nodded, seemingly relieved that the 'little misunderstanding' was over now. The old mare exhaled slowly and turned her head to her apprentice. "Young Diane, I do believe our distinguished guest here is tired, distressed, and perhaps a little disoriented. Could you perhaps give him a cup of tea and show him the door?"

"Now wait just a feathering minute!-" a mug of tea was in his hoof in moments, then he felt gentle pressure as a young pony turned him around. Before he had even finished turning the door stood open with a pink pony standing next to it smiling. "What in Equest-"

"Now Doctor Hippocratic Oath, it was really very nice of you to come and tell us the results of Mz Differently Able's follow-up at Ponyville General. Really, it was great to know that everything we did prevented her from suffering any more damage from the lightning strike, and that she doesn't want to file any charges against us for doing our very very best to help her out while she was unconscious. But Mistress Poesy gets really SUPER tired on days when somebody tries to yell at her about things that aren't her fault because they, the person doing the yelling silly, are afraid something that wasn't in their control happened and they might not have been able to do a better job. I'm sure you understand what I mean so I won't be keeping you any longer thanksforstoppingbyandhaveanicedayok?" The medical stallion was halfway down the path to town before he realized the wall of words and gentle pressure were gone.

He snorted to himself and grumbled, "this will not stand I tell you," as he continued trotting away.

"Dianne, come here, child." Rosey Poesy called to her apprentice.
"Mistress Poesy, why do you call me by my middle name?"

"Pinkamena is far too austere a name for a ball of energy like you, and any diminution of your name would make people take you less seriously. Would you seek treatment from a mare named 'Pinkie'?"

"Well, if I knew her to be skilled in the arts of healing, I believe I would."
"Ah, but how would you know?"
"But I'd... oh, I see. This is more about the ... spirit of the healing than the flesh."

"It is good you take up the lessons so quickly..." 'Is this it, is she going to tell me what I already know?' The pink pony tensed. "You, you already know, don't you? Yes, I do not believe I am long for this world. If I had more time I would ask how you... it is not important."

Poesy stretched laboriously as she rose from her seat. "I have written three letters, one to the Mayor of Ponyville, one to Smith Apple of the Apple Clan, and one... to another old friend. The first you will mail today, the second you will deliver to Sweet Apple Acres on the morrow, and the third... when you have learned all the lessons I have provided for you and feel practiced in their use, when you feel that you need lessons beyond what I have taught you, at that time you will take it to the first clearing along the path in the Everfree Forest and wait for she who will take the letter."

'It's, wow it's harder to deal with now that she's admitted it.' "W-what if nopony comes for the third letter?"

"Then you will continue to wait." A grim but humorous smile flickered on the elder mare's mouth. "I can't imagine you'll have longer than three days at the longest to wait."

Pinka- ... Dianne trotted down the packed dirt path towards the farmhold. 'So few animals here closer to civilization.' The letter was carefully tucked into her saddlebag. As she neared the farm, she spied a purple pony pawing the ground with intense concentration. 'Huh, why would a unicorn be out in the field? No matter, any friendly face is welcome - now especially'.

"Hello there! I'm Diane Pie and I was wondering if you..." The unicorn turned her head sharply when Dianne began talking, leapt into the air in surprise - pausing far longer than would seem possible, and then proceeded to dash off at high speed. 'Well THAT was certainly interesting.' Dianne grumbled to herself as she continued on down the path.

The elderly pale yellow-green pony lifted her half-rim glasses up to her eyes, nodding and 'mhm'-ing to herself as she read the letter. "Well Ai don't see whai she couldn't've just come and asked me, but of course we'll make all the preparations. Macintosh'll be done with his chores in a spell. Meantime, you come in here and have a slice of pie, an we'll just see about packing up a few things so's you don't starve yourself over the next couple'a days."

"Ai know Poesy always kept to herself, but you just come by anytime you feel as you need some comp'ny." She clucked her teeth, catching them before they escaped. "Imagine, leaving you alone at such an age... oh now don't you complain, I know you 'modern mares' grow up so quickly now... " the Apple Matron sighed, "But don't you rush none. Time enough for regrets when you get'ta be my age!" cackled the octogenarian.

Dianne was fascinated by how similar and yet completely unlike her own fillyhood home this farm was. 'I suppose it's the lack of rocks.' she chuckled at her thought. "I, ah.. wish to assure you that Mistress Poesy has explained your regular prescriptions and supplies and I will certainly continue to meet them. ... Including-including the herbal tea for your hip, ma'am." She tried not to blush too much. 'It vexes me that my coat does such a poor job of disguising red, one would think it should.'

The Apple Family Matron laughed good naturedly, "don't you fret about your deliveries until you get your hooves back under you. We've supplies enough to wait awhile, even... herbal tea." She couldn't help a chuckle at the pink pony's renewed blush. "If'n it makes you feel any better, ah do have one of them silly cards from the medical 'stablishment."

The walk back was silent. The Red Stallion's famous parsimony of conversation was aided by the awkwardness of the pine box he carried on his back. The mercifully short trip ended behind the cottage. The stallion glanced in inquiry at the young mare. "O-over there, under the willow, I should think. She... she liked to take naps there."

"M'sorry fer your loss."
"Thank you, Mr. Macintosh."
"Just you call me Big Mac, we're neighbors." His smile was well meaning.

'Well, yes, by dint of the fact that nopony else lives within twenty miles of us – of me, I suppose you and your Grandmother are my neighbors.' Her weak attempt at sarcasm failed to cover the feeling of relief a brief word of kindness made her feel.

"So, you a student too?"

"Neigh, my family are Plain Ponies, I ... felt it best to learn a new trade." she paused at the door. "Pardon, Mi-'Big Mac', but did you say 'too'?"

"Eyup. We got an intern, Miss Twilight Sparkle. Heh, don't think she's leavin' though. Seems to be fascinated by trees ... and flowers... an ... well, everything."

The dream was always confusing. It was the rock farm, but there were more buildings, in different colors. Mainly pink, though. There was a lot of pink, in fact. Mostly because every pony in the south field was pink, pink in Mane and Pink in hide. The shapes and manes differed in size and texture slightly, but were obviously all variations on a single theme. Though the ponies pushed rocks together, what they were building was another pony - another pink pony, just another variation on a theme of pinkness.

"... and of course then I realized it would be too soon after, you know. And after that I wasn't sure how long to wait. Granny said a week and that sounded reasonable, Big Mac said thought it should be a month, and Applebloom thought we should have just done it right after the wake - I guess her theory was that the shock would jumpstart your mourning and get you ... anyway I vetoed that option since it didn't match ANY of the books on grieving I've read, er, heh or other pony's accounts of how long it took them to get... better?" Twilight realized she was rambling, but she felt obligated to fill the silence.

'Good earth and sunshine, do I sound like this when I get going?' the perplexed pink pony pondered the prancing purple pony's pontification.

"Anyway, after a few calculations I ended up going with a period of three months, or about a week after you started going about your work as normal, whichever came first ... And that's why there are decorations all over your cottage. I ... I'm not sure why Applebloom is hanging from the ceiling. But when I first saw you out at the farm and I realized that not only did I not know you but that I didn't know enough about the Ponies in town to know if you were a resident or not but I could tell you looked really sad and I felt bad for you and I've never thrown anyone a surprise party but when I saw you the first thing I thought was 'there's somepony who needs a party'. Which is odd because my Brother calls me a borderline recluse and the Pony Manual of Psychological Diseases seems to say he wasn't far off from being right, although I still kicked him for saying it because he was being a jerk, but anyway it was odd for me, considering my lack of social experience, but I'm starting to trust my intuition." She pulled in a gasp of air, Diane smiled inwardly, 'Heh, amateur, with circular breathing you can keep going even while you inhale.'

"But I realized that before I did anything I needed to know more about you and I guess at the time I somehow thought that asking other ponies about you would be more 'scientific' than just coming out and asking you which in hindsight is really impersonal and I'm sorry for that. But at the same time I couldn't have just come out and said 'hey pony I don't know, do you think a party would help you feel better about whatever is bothering you so much?' but on the other other hoof I needed to know what was bothering you to know what might help you out. So really the only information I had was - That's hot-sauce you're pouring into that cup!"

"I know that's what it is, I like the taste with a little tomato juice."
"Oh, heh, that's ... random-"

"No, it isn't. Hot peppers contain a substance called capsaicin that is shown to help deal with digestion issues and may be helpful for heart health as well. Also, my sense of taste isn't as strong as some ponies', so I like intense flavors like hot and sour and sweet. Everything has a source, sometimes we just don't know or can't find it."

"I... wow, that was really... concise. I'm sorry about talking so much, but I really wanted you to be able to feel better."

"I don't believe that anyone has ever thrown me a surprise party before. I am glad for the company, I think you're a very nice pony, and the Apples have never been anything other than kind to me or Mistress Poesy." Dianne paused, rising up onto the chair she had been pushing so she could unstick Applebloom from the ceiling.

"What has confused me is your fear that I would be upset. I am not joyful that Mistress Poesy has passed on, but she had a long life with many experiences in it, and I have my work and my animals to take care of, my herbs to tend to, and my studies to complete." 'huh? Wh-why is she crying now?'

"Y-you don't have to h-hide out. They, other ponies will, they'll just accept you. It's ok to be sad, it's ok to feel lonely, but you can't let it be a prison. You're not just somepony who reads books and studies all the time, you can't just put your life on hold and-and tell yourself you'll 'look into it' AFTER you do... whatever. Y-you just can't!" 'Is, is this about me or... oh, I think this is-' The Purple Unicorn was hugging her, tears flowing freely now.

"Uh Twai?" Applebloom struggled, held above the pink pony as the purple pony held the latter. "Twilight! It's nice'n all that you made a friend but, 'kin I get down from here now, please?"

"Oh, *sniff*, of course." Twilight Sparkle chuckled awkwardly as she pulled back from Dianne, telekinetically lifting the child Dianne had forgotten she was holding, and placing young Applebloom safely on the ground.

'If I'm going to help this unicor –Twilight Sparkle – Mistress always said "never distance yourself from other ponies, helping them doesn't make you their superior in any way". If I'm going to help her, I guess there's no avoiding this.'

Calling to mind her feelings when her Grandmother passed away, Dianne managed to bring tears to her eyes and held her hooves up towards Twilight. The second hug lasted only a few minutes, but both seemed better for the experience. 'You are a curious Pony, Twilight Sparkle, but I will try to fix you.' The massively awkward party died out within ten minutes, but the connections had already been made; besides, Twilight had calculated ten minutes was about how long Applebloom's youthful exuberance could go without destroying anything.

"This is, a pony did this. Who – nevermind, of course I'll help." The green unicorn had looked distinctly gray when Diane had asked about a perpetrator, but her contrition suggested that recriminations wouldn't do any good. Examining the Blue over Green pegasus, she found the wound and ran through a quick surface examination. She seemed to have lost consciousness more from shock than trauma.

"Sh-she wouldn't stop talking about... sea-ponies. It was crazy, she was crazy. I was already nervous, and then she got this intense look as she tried to make me part of her conspiracy against the rest of the world. And, and all I could think is that one of the girls had put her up to this because of my interest in Cryptozoology. And... and then she looked right at me and called me... a Narwhal, just like it was completely normal, like it was something I should be proud to hear. It was too much and... oh, I never should have kicked her - poor kid is obviously out of her head - I shouldn't wonder. Cloud Kicker says the Weather Captain has them doing extra exercises before and after a full day of work."

Dianne had done nothing to prompt this confession, nothing more than hold the unicorn's glance a moment longer than propriety demanded. 'I must only use this power for good.' she reminded herself.

"She has nothing more than a minor concussion, I suspect." 'I know, but since I can't do anything more for her, let Doctor Oath have his petty little victories.' "Take her to the hospital and I'm sure they can give her more care. Oh, before you go, all three of you," Dianne nodded at the Tan Mare with Blue and Mulberry Mane who had yet to get a word in edgewise, "could use some water." She returned from the kitchen with a tray holding three glasses of water, and thankfully nopony mentioned the fact that she was back only moments after she left. It was pleasing to be thanked for her rather brief consultation, but she refused any further compensation.

Five days later, two after entering this horrid place and waiting, she finally heard somepony – or something approaching. She turned to give a nervous greeting, and was startled to silence by black and white in an array she had never set eyes on before. The strange ... pony?... smiled in a friendly manner and spoke in a pleasing, lilting voice. "Please, this is not the place to speak - though I suspect I am the one you seek." She gave no time for responses, simply turning around and heading off from whence she came. Only once during the trip did she speak again, "Though it would provide an unkind other quite a laugh, avoid blue flowers from off the path." Oh this was a mystery...

Her knowledge of Plain Pony remedies, Mistress Poesy's herbs and headology, and Master Zecora's exotic concoctions was increasing daily. She had found the perfect way to exist in accordance with Ponyville General: deniability. As long as she could present her care as other services, the hospital was at least grudgingly willing to allow her to continue operating at the periphery, helping those who were too far from care or had problems modern medicine didn't have satisfying solutions to.

If a pony suffered from recurring pains that couldn't be cured at their source, Dianne had Teas and Brownies with relaxing properties. A pony who felt that a malevolent force was after them? A 'party' with a 'dance' could often alleviate the symptoms, which after all came from the pony's own poor head - as Twilight was so fond of saying, 'curses aren't real', although she missed the point that something didn't have to be real to have an effect - a pony's own fears could be their undoing.

Also, her 'hobby' of caring for woodland creatures had led to an impromptu kind of music, and now she found herself recruited to convince the animals to make music for the Solar festival - 'Summer Sun Celebration' as Ponyville-ites called it. Chuckling at the oddity of her life, she was caught off-guard as two white unicorns approached...

Artwork by: Inspired_Light

Author's Note

Chapter 4, 'For want of a Rider' is too large to post as a single document. Putting all the sub-sections in chronological order would have been a nightmare of narrative hopping. Instead I've broken the chapter into Six sub-chapters. The order you read them in isn't important, Enough explanatory text, enjoy!

For Want of a Rider ii/vi

For want of a Rider

part ii of vi

For want of Bunnies

"It is the verdict of this court that all records of the minors involved in this case shall remain sealed until such time as they reach majority. Such minors are to remain nominally under the aegis of their legally recognized guardians, but shall be placed under the supervision of Captain Random Sprinkles, Department of Weather Control, Ponyville, District of Equestria." Uproar resounded within the court.

"Under these conditions, and with understanding of circumstances present, current charges of 'Reckless Endangerment of a Minor' on Five Counts, 'Reckless Interference with Unregulated Weather' on Two Counts in the First Degree, "Massive Damage to Public and Private Property" on Ten Counts, "Disturbing the Peace' on Two-hundred and Seventeen Counts, and one count of ... "Illegal Racing Maneuvers" ... ahem, all charges listed shall be Suspended and may, upon evidence of good behavior, be lifted."

Five young pegasi stretched their wings gratefully - after two months of incarceration, monitoring, counseling, and examination. The Tan Stallion with Pink, Green, and Blue Horizontally Striped Mane - cut to a regulation three inches - watched them for a few moments, allowing some of the sweat to evaporate from his hide before he cleared his throat to get their attention.

"In the eyes of the law you are all forgiven, and that's all well and good. But idle hooves are the Nightmare's playground, and since you lot are all under MY supervision, as of this moment, oh my little ponies, your flanks are mine. You are the single most hazardous group of foals I have ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on. But... I would never sleep a wink if I thought someone wasn't watching the lot of you Twenty-Four Seven to make sure you don't manage to destroy the REST of Equestria." Two beats of pause and a swish of the tail.

"You will spend the next three weeks living in Ponyville's service barracks, at which time you may either appeal to relatives and acquaintances in the area to provide alternate housing or that will become your new legal home. We will be spending that time, and oh so much time to follow working the weather over Ponyville. I will see to it that you learn the trade, I will see to it you are fed and sheltered, and I WILL see to it that you. Do. Not. Cause. ANY. More trouble. Do I make myself clear?" He was met with the silence he had expected. The yellow one had water threatening at the edges of her eyes.

He did not expect a group tackle hug. "Oh thank you thank you thank you." They were... thanking him? "We know you didn't have to offer to monitor us, and we could have ended up in Juvenile Detention for everything that happened."

Captain Sprinkles struggled to his feet. "I - however much of a bunch of screw-ups you may be, I know you did what you thought was best ... Besides, I didn't have to listen to you." 'The disaster just would have wrecked Ponyville instead of causing light damage over a much larger area.'

"But you didn't have to. Or you could have just spoken up for us and let the courts fine our Parents. We'll do whatever you tell us, to to repay you. I think... I think deep down you're a nice-" Did the yellow one always have to do the talking?

"Ok, first rule, when I say 'Line up' you..." They were all lined up now, the green one even turned the wall-eyed one around to face him. "... that's, that's acceptable. Now, fan out, we're going 'home'." Random vowed to himself this was not going to end up like one of those sappy stories where the Ex-Military Stallion ends up as a Surrogate Father-Figure to a bunch of unruly 'orphans'. Life is cruel, the sooner they learned that, the better off they'd be.

The streamers were hung in Shades of blue and green, from a pale cerulean to a deep forest green, with more hanging from the ceiling to drape down to the floor. Blue shades hung in the windows and over the lights, lending to the overall 'aquatic' feel of the space. Nopony had been able to find any good 'fish' decorations 'she'd probably just be distracted by their inaccuracies anyway.' Fluttershy thought to herself as she looked at the preparations one last time critically.

Omega Flight didn't exist anymore, she knew that. She hadn't even been a leader when it had been a class. Still, she felt responsible for them all. Differently Able could still fly... the way she always had, and she sent each of them a letter once a month; nopony had heard anything about little Dorothy Gale though... or Mr. Turner. The healer whose house Fluttershy had inadvertently - and luckily - sent them to insisted that it had been an Earth Pony who had delivered Miz Able on that fateful night. 'We... we do seem to have more than our share of injuries.' she thought to herself, considering the 'You didn't manage to crack any ribs shooting your mouth off' party they were holding for Sea Foam following Ms Pie's declaration of good health for Sea.

The only thing Sea Foam would say about the incident was that she had learned never to call a Unicorn a 'Narwhal', not something most Ponies had to learn - but then, Foam wasn't most Ponies. For her part, Miss Heartstrings had immediately regretted striking the young adult, going so far as to carry her to the hospital afterwards.

'I just don't know what went wrong.' It felt like the words would never stop ringing in Fluttershy's head. Here they all were again, assembled in front of Captain Sprinkles and trembling in fear. "I have never been so humiliated in all my life. First of all you invite civilians to a barely sanctioned event, an event let me remind you, celebrating that Miss Foam managed NOT to suffer any permanent damage from mortally insulting an honest Citizen of Ponyville who now has to undergo anger management classes." 'You were the one screaming at Lyra when you found out. I had to have Thundercloud and Snowflake sit on you to keep you from hitting her.'

"Um, excuse me, we-we're not Military, that is, the Weather Department isn't part of the Military, Captain, sir."

"That may be, but you are all still convicted criminals until the court gets around to fully dropping your charges." She always did that, cut him off with a perfectly reasonable objection when he was getting going. Oh, he had plans for her... but for now, "I honestly expected better of you two." Two Gray Pegasi, one dark and one light, hung their heads. "Fraternizing with the townsfolk begins and ends with VERBAL intercourse; I never imagined I'd have to spell it out for you. Well, consider this your last lesson, you're both out of the program." If he hadn't had their attention before, he sure had it now. The Blonde one was crying now, the boy still thought he could prove he was tough.

He let the rest of them get a little worked up before he slammed his front hooves into the ground. "I have taken the liberty of convincing the courts that the two of you have your charges dropped immediately. Ms. Doo, you will have enough responsibility to keep you busy for the rest of your life soon, and Thundercloud, if you still can't remember that mare's name I suggest you find out damn soon because I guarantee you that her Father knows yours. I have pulled some strings to get you a job in shipping and one in mail, you two sort out who is going where, I wash my hooves of you." The two fled, peeling off in opposite directions as if to confuse pursuit.

Fluttershy's heart was breaking. Derpy had only told her two days ago that she was... 'I need to go after her, I'll send Snowflake to talk to Thunder, but first... ' Her eyes were completely dry when she turned face the Captain. "Captain Random Sprinkles, that was uncalled for. Sure, you wanted to make sure everypony understood that you weren't being lenient with them. Sure, I did my own checking and realized Ditzy wouldn't have qualified for Maternity Care as a Junior Weather Team employee. And I even understand that you may be afraid enough of being seen as hurt by their actions, however understandable they would be for a normal adolescent pony. But if your treatment of those two has hurt them in any lasting way, I'm going to come back here and... and Love and Tolerate you so hard your head will never stop spinning." She made eye contact with Snowflake and jerked her head after Thundercloud, saluted the Weather Team, and took off as fast as she could.

It wasn't hard to track the bubbly pegasus down. Sugarcube Corner made the best muffins in the tri-village area, and Derpy had a thing for the confections - she claimed it was because they were the only word she could reliably say when she was having one of her 'spells'. The other reason it was easy to find her was the number of nervous ponies edging out of the shop trying not to look like they were fleeing the scene of a crime. Stepping inside, Fluttershy saw Derpy's friend Carrot Top - whom she had befriended by destroying Carrot's garden with a stray bolt of lightning - consoling the Gray and Blonde Pony. Carrot Top started when she saw the yellow pegasus, then gestured for her to approach the table. "So, I take it things didn't go well? D hasn't been ... able to say anything."

"She's been fired. The Captain got her a job with Mail Delivery but... he was yelling, a lot."
"I've never understood why the Buck you lot put up with him."

"It's, it's complicated, but he... well, whatever else has happened, he had no right to be like that to Derpy." Fluttershy placed a hoof on the Mare's shoulder, but said nothing else.

"C-chronosynclastic infundibulum... motor-nut cache." A gray hoof slammed into the table-top. "I'm NOT ashamed." She finally managed, wiping the last of her tears away. "I'll be the best darn Mail-Pony this town has ever seen. I'm not sorry it happened."

"We..." Fluttershy glanced at Carrot Top and a recently approached Berry Punch, who both nodded. "We'll all be here for you. I'm sure the others will be willing to quit, to show-" A distinctly Gray Hoof halted further speech.

"No, don't let him win. If you all walk away, it's like he's right." Derpy wasn't crying anymore, she hardly even looked angry anymore. By dint of will, she concentrated both eyes on Fluttershy. "You can't lose to him. Promise me. Don't give up on pony nature because one pony wants to see the worst in us." She chuckled, "You tolerate him, because Celestia knows I don't think I can right now." She let out her breath, "S-so, I've been thinking of names. How does 'Dinky Doo' sound?"

The training only got more grueling from there. The 'junior team' was folded into the main workforce, they were assigned extra training shifts, loaded with full duties, and shouted at like never before. Snowflake responded by hitting the Gym every break he could, seemingly addicted to the rush of endorphins. Sea Foam seemed to have hit her maximum level of disorientation a long time ago, "swimming through air is crazy enough, it doesn't matter how often they make me do it."

Fluttershy spent her time getting to know ponies. She started with the ones she had already met, tried to re-meet the ponies she had now spent years around, sent letters to her family and fillyhood friends 'I wonder if Rainbow was serious about renting that old clothing store?' and then spreading out to the Weather Service's main clients, and the citizens of Ponyville in general. What none of them did was buckle, collapse, or ever balk at the work heaped on them.

The Weather Captain was at his wit's end. He had tried mocking them, shouting at them, breaking them with so much work he'd drawn notice from the Regional Supervisor - and suffered the indignity of having his three charges come to his defense. This was it, he was out of options other than the final one. A general meeting was called for all active duty weatherponies, he drew out a seating chart specifically to make sure the three were smack dab in front for the whole show. Everypony arrived on time and got to their seats in an orderly fashion.

"This meeting is now started. *Ahem* You all know me, you all know that I am a hard pony to work for. I'd like to think I'm fair, that I have an honest assessment of the capacities and worth of everypony who works in this department." He let them mumble to each other, as he knew they would. "However, it may have caught your attention that SOME ponies seem to get more of my attention than others do." Did the three of them start to look uncomfortable? To shift a little in their seats? The yellow one didn't, she just looked at him like she always did.

"Hem. Well, I have something to tell you all. As of oh six hundred this morning, the three ponies at the front of the stadium here are all legally of adult age. They can vote, they can enlist, they could even drink alcoholic beverages if they chose. Why don't we give them a hand, Mares and Gentlecolts?" Awkward clomping followed, one pony even made a half-hearted shout (there's one in every crowd).

"Being of legal age, their juvenile records are now unsealed, and I can now legally tell you that they were convicted of causing the 'cloudboom' you may all remember from a few years ago. Anypony remember that? So, after years of public service, they've had all charges dropped now. So I think they should be recognized for the HUGE act of repentance they have been engaged in."

The 'Cloudboom' hadn't caused as much damage as one might have expected, but a lot of Pegasi had been startled, had suffered accidents because of the distraction, or the noise, or actually been in the path of the shockwave and thrown miles out of their ways. The three young adult ponies trudged onto the stage. Everypony looked at them.

Snowflake looked like he wanted to bolt. Actually, he looked like a boulder vaguely shaped like a pony that someone had stuck party favor wing decorations on - looking at him, it was nearly impossible to imagine how he could get off the ground. Sea Foam looked mildly irritated, but then everypony knew she was nuts. Sea Pony this, underwater kingdom that - there were rumors that she actually ATE FISH, yeah fish, the meat of another animal. Fluttershy was ok, well... she was ok if you only noticed the surface. Sure, she was always polite, always spoke in the quietest voice that could easily be heard by the recipient, but she Never Bent. Ever.

It was easy to miss, because she always couched it in such nice wording, was sooo respectful and demure; but, if she didn't think something was fair, it just didn't happen. Celestia protect you if she thought you were hassling one of the 'foal five', as they used to be called. She still didn't yell, she gave you this look, like your sainted Grandmother was disappointed in you, looking down from Pony Heaven. It wasn't natural. If you kept your nose clean of her business you didn't notice, so everypony got by. But still, creepy. And now? They were responsible for the Cloudboom? The biggest black-mark in the Ponyville Weather Service's history? Quiet grumbles became slightly louder ones. Facing the crowd, the three ponies brushed wings behind their backs for comfort.

The crowd waited for something to happen, for someone to be the tipping point that would tell them which way they should react. Somepony reached a decision, and from the back of the stadium came a faint, slow clomp. Other ponies joined in, the sound rose across the stadium, a few cheers thrown in. It died down and ended naturally. Without prompting, Fluttershy rose, flew onto the stadium, and approached the podium. Grasping the microphone, she smiled, blushing at the assembled pegasi. "Thank you everypony... this is a weight we never thought we'd have lifted. And Captain?" She turned, still smiling to face Captain Random Sprinkles.

"You are an asshole. A bitter, self righteous pony who pokes ponies to see what they'll do. They tell stories about you to scare recruits, at night, after work. You want us to see the worst in everypony around us, to imagine them as capable of horrific things that sicken us."

Finally. Finally he had managed to break that abominable facade of hers, managed to prove that even the nicest pony had a core of bitterness and hate that would- "But you know what? We're better for having known you. You're a part of our culture now, a dark part, but at your worst you were trying to warn us, to strip away what you thought was wrong. From the bottom of my heart, I want to say 'thank you, Captain Sprinkles' you have not destroyed us, you make us stronger. I look forward to surviving you for many years to come."

There was only one thing left to do at this point, his final resort. "Well, that was very... nice... of you to say, Fluttershy. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. Effective immediately I am retiring from the Weather Service." Shouts of surprise, shock, and complaint rose until he scowled and held out his hooves, slamming them down.

"Effective Immediately I'm out. My last act will be to recommend my replacement, and to place that recommended pony in acting captain's status. I'd ask her to come up on stage, but she seems to have already taken that liberty." It was dead quiet. "Congratulations, Acting Captain Fluttershy." He fled then, there was no other way to describe it.

It was a hard struggle to learn the tasks entailed in managing a Weather Team - what she knew how to do was the work, not how to tell other ponies to do it. She had considered stepping down, but had met a great deal of resistance - in fact the Senior Officer, Hazy Reply, had refused to fill in if she vacated the position. With nothing for it but to forge ahead she made do as she could, asked as many questions as she could think of, and rose to the occasion as much as she was able to.

Visits with Derpy and her Omega friends were what kept her going in the hard parts. Snowflake had ended up becoming a personal trainer at the gym he had spent so much time in. 'They'll appreciate him there, that's good.'

Sea Foam had been introduced to pastries, something she insisted she had never encountered before, "It isn't possible to bake things underwater, my people have many proud traditions but baking has never been one of them." And had fallen in love with cakes, pies, and muffins. In fact she was working part-time at the local bakery, Sugar-Cube Corner while she saved up bits for some expedition she had planned.

Thundercloud had found his mystery mare, and had a job in construction. 'Not so much CONstruction as Destruction. Well, now he has a place he can really throw his weight around.' Fluttershy scolded herself for her joke, but still chuckled. He was now the doting father of an adorable little earth pony colt.

Differently Able had been re-certified for flight instruction and was back to doing what she did best. It pleased Fluttershy to imagine new generations of ... sub-optimal pegasi getting the chance to take advantage of their heritage. She had never been able to find out what happened to the Gale girl, but she hoped for the best. Mr. Turner had never turned up, and turned out to be one of a remarkably large number of Brown Stallions with hourglass Cutie Marks, Pegasi, Earth Ponies, and even Unicorns included. She never had asked him what his talent was, and it didn't seem appropriate to accost his doppelgangers.

It was really nice when Rainbow Dash moved to town - or was she Rainbow Flash now, Fluttershy wasn't sure. 'It sounds vaguely indecent so that's probably right.' She chuckled to herself. There had been an old clothing boutique that Rainbow had bought and retrofitted to her specifications.

The outside had remained surprisingly unmodified, if anything Rainbow had made it look unassuming. 'Probably for privacy concerns,' she thought to herself. The inside was... different. the entire main floor was devoted to custom industrial fabrication, and the majority of the second floor was given over to craft-work. Rainbow had showed her the bed she slept in, which folded into the wall. Apparently it was called a 'Murphy Bed', but sounded unhygienic.

Yes, things had certainly settled down in Ponyville. Even after the Mayor had gotten the town the honor of being the site of the Millennial anniversary of the Summer Sun Celebration it had sounded like a nice relaxing thing, 'who doesn't like watching the sun rise? Not only is it beautiful, but it serves as a reminder that the Princess watches over us all. It's... nice.'

Of course she had volunteered to personally see to the sky clearing for the event. And of course Derpy had needed someone to watch her child in the morning. And of course the Apple Family reunion - considerately timed so that the entire family could contribute to the 'horsepower' needed to cater the event - had led to the family's wandering daughter picking a fight with the Unicorn who... Fluttershy wasn't sure what the unicorn's job was on the farm, she just always seemed to be there - maybe she was involved with the handsome red stallion, Big Macintosh, 'a real catch like that must have a special somepony.' she thought with more disappointment than she had expected. It hadn't been her job to sort the fight out, but it wasn't in her nature not to help.

Now she was late to clear the sky. Wanting to hold a reserve of energy for the task at hand, she had sped back to town in a low flight, and was sorting out plans, schedules, and trying out a new shift rota in her head when she finally noticed the marshmallow colored pony in front of her. Needless to say, to top off her day, she didn't have time to avoid a full on collision...

Artwork by: Inspired_Light

Author's Note

Chapter 4, 'For want of a Rider' was too large to post as a single document. Instead I've broken the chapter into Six sub-chapters.

For Want of a Rider iii/vi

For want of a Rider

part iii of vi

For want of an Apple

There comes a point where you reach saturation. Something inside you just clicks and says ok, enough of that. You need some space now. Nothing lasts forever, and some things can be repaired simply by providing space and time in appropriate quantities. This was something 'Apple Jackie Orange' knew in her heart of hearts. 'When you run, you need to know if you're running to or away from something.' It didn't occur to her that it was also possible to run in circles, that thought didn't penetrate for a long time.

So once upon a time a unicorn and an earth pony were friends. Who knows how long they knew each other? What does it matter if it was from Kindergarten or the third week of Junior year in College? Two ponies were friends, and they were divided by what they held in common.

The unicorn loved the pulse and feral beats music could unleash, the passion and the transcendental state a repetitive beat could induce, and she had no use for Symphonic music past learning that Loudwig von Beathoofen was so deaf that he had his musicians play loud enough for him to FEEL the vibrations. Can you dig that? Crazy.

The earth pony loved the flowing patterns and progressions of music, the crystalline clarity that could emerge from even deeply layered compositions. She had no use for 'Modern' music past the occasional gem of chord progression that provided a thrill of synthesis and proved her point in the breach.

But, they were friends, and so they tried ignoring their differences. They tried discussing the subject in such general terms that nothing inoffensive was said. They tried playing out role reversals - Moby conducting the Filly-harmonic Orchestra, Ponygang Mozart on a synthesizer, and other such silly things. These jokes led to an idea, or really the absence of a complaint. 'Why not?' why not take the best of both musics and see what amalgamation could wrought.

What it wrought was a band with only two long-term musicians. A friend of a friend heard about the band, thought it sounded like a laugh, and sat in on a session. Two or three sessions later they had found a way to fit in, and three or four sessions later their heads were filled with ideas. The pony would set out to form their own band, with the blessings and well wishes of the two friends.

Eventually though, complication wore down a smooth operation. Petty differences and minor misunderstandings grew, and perhaps a little bit of space could have healed things, a little time certainly wouldn't have hurt. But the two were friends, their friend wouldn't try to hurt them, so it was their own fault, really - and they swallowed complaints and soldiered on. There was a contract too, and money has always been corrosive to friendship. The contract came to an end, and the friendship would have ended too, except for the filly.

The filly, they had to admit in their heart of hearts that she was not as old as she made herself out to be, saw two friends, she saw freedom, and she was so earnest. How could they not take her on the road? The band was about discovery, personal choices, and a little subversiveness - so who did it hurt to take her along? The farm family that had let her run off to the Big City in the first place? The high society Aunt and Uncle who could neither unbend enough for her or bend her to them?

Don't think about it too closely. Listen to the sound of the cartwheels as they roll along the road. Listen to the roar of the crowd like a furious sea crashing against the cliffs of the stage. Listen to the sound of records and instruments shattering into pieces that cannot be restored, like some overblown metaphor nopony wants to listen to.

So, a box was opened on that last stage. Anger, frustration, misunderstanding, misdirected guilt, and the gnawing fear of loneliness were unleashed on that stage as if Pony-dora herself were in the audience. But there was one thing left in the box: Vinyl Scratch and Octavia were friends. And the first thing any foal does, as soon as they're born, is to seek light. The show was hurting the friends, so the filly tried to carry the show on her own withers. She succeeded by failing, and shamed the Devil, as well as a couple of College Mares miles from home.

The three divided what remained of the profits afterward. They set the filly on a train back to Ponyville after extracting a promise that she'd ride it the whole way - nopony discussed the fact that it was a promise likely to be broken, and gave her a black and white hounds-tooth newsie cap too small for Vinyl anymore. Parting was what the bard called it, sweet sorrow, but the ache of a wound fully healed, the sorrow of seeing a bird ready for migration. Did they ever meet again? Were they friends afterwards or just a collection of fond memories? Only time will tell.

******

The railroad bull caught her twenty miles outside of town. 'Never fails, does it? I just got comfortable and here comes the management.' "Alright punk, you picked the WRONG train to sneak a ride on. When I catch you, you'll be through!"

'What is it with guys who love the sound of their own voices?' Jackie rolled over and took in the large gray minotaur standing against the open train car door. 'Is... is he.. posing? Wut th' buck?' "Oh hello sir, is there any possible way I could be of assistance to you?" she lay on the High Society Manehattanite accent thickly, some of the toughs would let you be until the next town if you made them laugh. ... Some of them thought they could demand more, and that was when they found out what years of wandering and odd jobs of hard labor did for close quarters combat skills.

He looked confused, but the momentum of his speech kept him from considering the situation. "If you are in doubt, let me be clear, get the buck out!"

"So's we're cleah 'bout it, mate, ah yew speakin' in hryhmes 're catch phras's?" the Eostralian accent was always good for a confused expression.

"Uh, I like to consider them mottoes, words of wisdom I dispense along with indiscriminate justice." Ok, he was slowing down. Either he didn't know how to deal with non-sequiturs or wasn't comfortable actually touching transients. He shook his head and made a face of determination, snorting. "You. Train. Off. Now."

"Are you kidding? Train's got to be going over thirty miles an hour right now. Look, your job is to make sure ponies like me aren't messing with the cargo. I ain't touched nothing, I'm clean - ah know what a shower is thankyouverymuch, and I'll be only too happy to hop off your little express here at the next stop." 'Time to stop playing around and bring out the big guns.'

"No, my JOB is to make sure that punks like you don't think they can get a free ride on the Pony Express. If I let you ride to the next stop, you'll think you can do that again. 'Once is forever in policy and warfare'."

"All's fair in love and war." 'That might not have been-' "Wait, wait, uh... 'you can break my body, but you can never break my spirit." 'Congratulations Jackie, you actually managed to find a worse line.'

The minotaur stood stock still, every muscle in his body seemed tensed, his breath seemed to be steaming out of his nostrils, which were wide open. 'Ok, here't comes...' Jackie braced herself, knowing that in close quarters like this she was better off trying to reduce the impact of attack rather than gamble on avoiding the blow entirely and pay full price if she failed. The attack was faster and more horrible than she could have imagined, he held her in an iron vice of a grip, she could hear her shoulder blades creaking against one another as he sought to crush the breath from her body.

Before she could bite for his eyes as a last act of defiance, he held her up in the air turning her gently to look her in the eye. A beatific smile graced his face, nearly a mile wide if it was an inch. "That was the most inspiring thing I think I've ever heard." He set her down, and put her straw hat back on her head as an afterthought. "Can, can I use that?"

"Wha?"
"The broken body/spirit line, do you mind if I use that?"
"Uh, feel free. Con-consider it a gift." 'I've either drunk too much or not enough, and I'm certain I'm sober right now.'

"All my life, I've done what others have told me to. Don't go in that China Shop Will, stop trying to wrestle with racoons Will, how on earth could you spend your entire college fund on a Tony Robbin seminar Will? Well no more! I am a new minotaur as of today!"

'In for a bit, in for an apple.' "Hey, if you're going to do this, you need an angle."
"A what?"
"You've got half a stage persona going already with the wrestler talk."
"What? This is how I always talk."
'Oh for the love of... ' "You got 'ta take this seriously."
"W-what?"
Jackie quickly slid a box over so she could climb it and shove her head against the Minotaur's thick skull. "SAY WHAT AGIN, I DARE YA'!"

"Wh-ok, wha-ahhaa howw do I do that?"
"You ever heard of Third Pony?"
"The literary technique, the band, or the Emperor before Sun Hoof?" 'Well if that don't just beat all... '

"I guess the Literary thing, it's a style of speech to me. ... what's your name, by the way?"
"Uh, Iron Will is named, Iron Will?"
"That's pretty good." Jackie hid her facehoof on the inside. "Now, what you do is..."

Two hours later the train pulled into Colt Junction. Two riders departed from the train. The orange one trotted into town to find an opportunity or two. The Gray one returned one set of Pony Express Railpony Uniform parts - nonstandard, extra-large - in to the Station Clerk, received half a week's pay as severance, and stepped into the pages of history.

And that's the legend of how the Greatest Motivational Speaker in all of Equestria got his start.

Equestria is a big place however you measure it. As the Dragon flies it is wider Latitudinally than it is tall in Longitude, and it is fairly 'tall'. An earth pony's navigation takes terrain into consideration and finds north-south travel more difficult, which is why a road map of Equestria looks like the skeleton of a deflated ball in side-section. Jackie Orange - Apple Jackie to some - saw about as much of that land as a single pony could. She left stories behind her when she left, sometimes at a run, and sometimes with reluctance, but always moving on to the next place, the next stop on her seemingly endless journey.

There comes a point where you reach saturation - I've said this already, haven't I. Far be it for me to repeat myself, but it is even possible to have too much 'new', too much space, and too much time spent without anypony else around who loves you. I suppose that's quite possible. What would have happened if Jackie hadn't seen the letter? We'll never know, because she did see it.

Dear sister Applejack,

Hi, this is your sister Apple Bloom. Big Mackintosh says 'hi' too. I want you to know that I've read every one of the letters you send home on occasion. Even the one asking Granny about contradictionscontraceptives which I was told I'm far too little to hear about, but it didn't make any sense anyhow so I figure it's ok.

I feel like I know you, from stories Granny and Big Brother tell me - and from your letters. But, I don't, do I? What I have are reflections of what you're like. I even wrote to Aunt and Uncle Orange. Do you know they weren't even sure you're still alive? That's silly, I know you still are - Twilight's 'Teleport Scroll' spell wouldn't work on a dead pony. She said so.

What I I want to ask you if you'll come and visit. I'd really like to meet you, the real you that makes so many reflections. Wait! don't throw the letter away, please? I'm asking you for help, Ponyville has been chosen to host the next Summer Sun Celebration. Twi says it's going to be the milnemiMillennial anniversary of the first one so it's an even bigger deal than normal. The whole family almost is coming, it's a Family Reunion. And you're family, you're MY family, and Big Mackintosh's, and Granny Smith's, and ... please come?

Your little sister and biggest fan,
Apple Bloom

Jackie wanted to throw the letter away, desperately. 'Where did this even come from?' she asked herself, dodging the real question, what was she going to do about it. As she was trying to formulate a reason she absolutely could not go to Sweet Apple Acres just then, something clicked. 'Ok, enough of this. I can't keep doing this anymore.' Pick your favorite metaphor for relief, it probably applied.

'Well, it's true, you really can't go home, can you?'

The farm was the same, Granny Smith seemed like as to outlive her progeny's progeny, 'no, no wishful thinking. You're here now, and you'll accept whatever comes next.' What came next was a reunion with her family, her real family... plus one. She had taken pains to arrive before the extended Family Reunion was scheduled. But... who was this Unicorn, tossing rotten apples with her fancy magicks to make the filly that could only be Apple Bloom catch with a bucket on top of her head?

Petty concerns were turned aside when the filly in question caught sight of the orange mare. Of course she dropped the bucket, of course she ran full tilt towards her erstwhile sister. And of course the Unicorn caught the bucket with more magic before it hit the ground, but Jackie wasn't watching her - not really. She certainly didn't see a wistful smile on a purple face.

"Applejack! It's you! It's really you! I mean, you look like what I thought you would!" 'Land sakes, was I ever this young?' Little Bloom danced around her in a fit of happiness that threatened tears on all sides.

Shouts brought a behemoth of a Red Stallion to investigate. Said investigation made him drop the straw he had loosely been holding in his mouth. "Well look at you." She wasn't sure who she was talking to, wasn't sure it mattered. The stallion walked toward her, tentatively at first, but ending in a gallop. Instead of the bone crunching takle she'd anticipated, Jackie found herself scooped onto her brother's back like a filly, the real filly clinging to her and laughing loudly and freely.

Moments found the trio outside the door of the farmhouse where the Apple Matron stood. Unfamiliar eyes would have found her expression reserved, but family knew welcome when it was offered. "Welcome home, child." If there hadn't been crying before, there was now.

She was out of practice Applebucking, but in good enough condition to pick it up again pretty quickly. The work was good, gave the mind something to focus on. Something other than the fact that she was here now, like the last several years of her life - the time she had spent growing to an adult - had never happened. Underneath the aching lightness of family was a deep weight of panic that for now was content to lie like a lump at the bottom of her mind.

Haphazard reporting from her sister filled in many of the gaps in her knowledge of Ponyville. 'So Cherilee did end up as a teacher? Good on her.' She puzzled about the bakery, 'Why in tarnation would you make cakes in the shape of a fish? We're miles from the nearest sea.' And frowned at references to the Unicorn.

"So, tell me again, 'Bloom, why is this Miss Sparkle here?"
"Oh, she came a few years ago when we had the problem with those caterpillars. Mackintosh heard about some big government program to help out public works and historical landmarks. He asked Granny, and she figured there's not much more historical in Ponyville than Sweet Apple Acres."

"Following you so far, I seen the CCCC in progress b'fore. Even worked on one'r two of their projects... remind me to tell you about the Grand Colty Dam sometime, but those projects don't normally last more'n a couple years. Why is she still here?"

Applebloom stopped and considered the question. "Well, I guess she just... found a place here. She... well I was pretty little when she first got here, so I don't remember it the best - but she had a bad time of it at first. Then the day of the Cloudboom, you've heard of the-"

"Yeah, I certainly remember that day." A wistful smile played across Jackie's lips.
"Well, she got her Cutie Mark that day. And she says it was thanks to the trees. Our trees, here in the Orchard."
"Unicorns... normally get marks in... did you say she got her mark the same... nevermind, the - unicorns - normally don't get plant related marks."

"Well, her's is a tree, but it's like a pretend tree. Like when you look at the night sky and there's supposed to be a snake and a pony, and all sorts of stuff up there, but what there really is is a bunch of dots you have to squint at and say 'sure, that could be a king with a crown on' or something? Her's is like that."

"A constellation?"
"No, not part of the town guard, a minimalistic representation with symbolic significance." The last sounded rehearsed.

"So, and this is the last I want to talk about it, she lives here - on the farm?"
"Sure does, rents out a room. Of course we just take the rent out of the bits we pay her. Well, we sort of pay her, but she eats here, and she gets books from the library, and she doesn't spend much other than to buy scrolls and quills and ink but ost-ostensibly she-"

"Ok, thank you fer indulging your sister's curiosity. What say we race down to the bottom of the hill and see how Mac's doing with the Galas?"

The day was fine, evening cleanup was an exercise in nostalgia, and dinner was a luxury of apples and apple related products. The Unicorn was very quiet, sat back from the table slightly, and avoided eye contact with Jackie. Not that she cared at all. Not that she really noticed when the Unicorn corrected Applebloom about her grip on her fork. 'How's a Unicorn even know what propper Earth Pony etiquette? Not likely she'd dirty her hooves when she's got all that magic. Hmph'

Dinner conversation was light. Discussion about the results of the harvest so far, plans for tomorrow and into the week, estimates of when which family members would arrive. Good, honest workpony stuff. 'How long has it been since I heard this kind of talk? Even working on construction crews we never talked about the work like another family member, but the farm is as much family as Mackintosh-' And that was when it hit her. 'Bloomberg' the first tree she had sprouted, planted, and tended to - and that she hadn't thought of in more years than she had hooves.

"Is something wrong, dear?" Granny's tone of alarm was Jackie's first warning that she'd been wearing her thoughts on her face. She had spent so long schooling her expressions, that when she let her guard down she must have been broadcasting everything but the actual words she was thinking.

"I... Bloomberg, I forgot about Bloomberg. I'm, please, excuse me." She didn't wait for a response, she was out the door and down the path before the cries of 'Applejack' could even start.

There he stood, strong and tall. A proud tree with a robust root system and sturdy branches that would and had weathered whatever storms the Pegasi would throw at them. 'Are, are you going to welcome me home too?'

"Welcome home, Jaquiline." Jackie froze in disbelief. 'I never imagined a voice for you, but if I had it would have been a mite low-' Jackie flipped around in a whirl of hooves.

"What in tarnation gives you the right to sneak up on a pony like that?" Eyup, there she was, the Unicorn.
"I was worried when you leapt from the dinner table."
"Thank you for your 'concern' but as you can see, I'm perfectly fine." Jackie huffed, trying to catch her breath.
The Unicorn just looked at her, expression somewhere between perplexion and and disbelief, sliding into annoyance.
"No, you're obviously not. Want to talk?"
"Not to you, I don't."
"Me? What did I do?"
"That's what Ah want to know."
Her expression was definitely sliding towards annoyance.
"Well? You going to explain yourself?" Jackie challenged.
"We seem to have gotten off on the wrong hoof. This is important for Apple Bloom."
'What?' "What?"
"Your little sister, she needs a good role model. I can't give her everything she needs in that department."
'Oh, hohoho. I see where this is going.' "You're a cuckoo."
"Uh, what? Excuse me?"
"Little bird, 'bout this big. Has this Nasty habbit of putting it's eggs into other birds nests so the Mama bird ends up taking care of the imposter."

"Keep it together"
"Sorry? Didn't quite catch that?"
"I wasn't talking to you."
"Oh? Talking to yourself? That's a sign of craziness."
"I. Am. Not. Crazy."
"Ain't that what a madpony would say? How'm I supposed to know the difference?"
"I'm really, hah, really starting to resent your tone."
"I already resent your everything." She took a step toward the invader.
"That doesn't even make sense. It's not a proper sentence."
"Who cares about 'proper' when you can get your point across?" Step.
"Civilization only holds on as much as we're willing to hold up it's tenets."

"APPLEJACK!" Mackintosh's cry filled the orchard. The two ponies backed away from each other, Jackie took the opportunity to raise her hoof, gesturing at her eyes and then at the Unicorn's chest.

Farmyard diplomacy consists of seeing problems before they explode. Mackintosh was no pyrotechnics expert, but he knew a powder keg when he saw two of them bumping into each other. Loyalties warred, but it would do neither pony any good for the Family to take sides. 'Keep it simple, keep things running' not the most inspiring thing his father had ever said, but it was the principle Mackintosh had come to live by. As long as the ponies were alive and not actively coming to blows, they'd sort themselves out, given space and time.

Apple Bloom was at the center of ... whatever it was. She was also aching to get to know her big sister, and it didn't take any fancy mathematics to be able to divide four and come up with two pairs. So Twilight worked with Mackintosh and App... 'Jackie' worked with Bloom. Simple, keep working. Keep work simple. Simple couldn't last though, life always got complicated.

It was, in fact, the day before the Summer Sun celebration that things came to a head. At the time the crowd of ponies all working the farm had seemed like a perfect way to keep both parties separate. Hindsight disagreed.

Twilight's obsessive compulsion to organize made her an excellent Sorter. A-Jackie's tenacity and stamina made her an excellent Bucker. A sorter needs apples to be bucked to work. Centralized sorting is more efficient for work organization, that way everypony only has to deliver their apples to one place. That means EVERYPONY delivers their apples to one place.

It didn't really matter if Twilight had been too picky about Jackie's apples, or if Jackie was just so raw that even a single apple rejected from her barrel was going to set her off. It was probably a little of both. It was Jackie who knocked the barrel over, and it was Twilight who used Jackie's hat -a ten gallon, vanilla white, stetson with a chocolate leather band- to catch the flying apples. The tackle seemed to happen by mutual agreement.

Shouts were called out by observers - most of whom had never met either pony, or only remembered 'Little Applejack'. Apples flew this way and that. Knocked, kicked, throw, and magicked. Dust and dirt flew in a choking cloud that prevented most of the conflict being seen - but it could be heard.

The mercy was that somepony had the sense of mind left to scoop up Apple Bloom before she could really see the fight. Another mercy came in the form of a yellow pegasus, the Weather Captain... Hurricane or some such. The pegasus looked at the fight, and eyed an inquiry at Mackintosh. He could only shrug and shake his head back and forth. She retrieved a dense black cloud and poured a monsoon's worth of water on the fighters.

Jackie's humiliation wasn't complete without catching sight of her terrified sister staring at her in disbelief. It would have been easier if Applebloom had asked 'why?' but she couldn't even manage the words. Jackie looked around her, saw her family and old friends all looking on in concern and the shame of the situation overwhelmed her. Something just clicked, it was too much.

She was gasping for air before she realized she was running. 'Running away again, that's all I'm good for, isn't it?' She could tell she was wallowing in self pity but she didn't care. She didn't even hear the shout of triumph from the white unicorn she only nearly ran down in her escape.

Hours later, she was cold, hungry, miserable, and reduced to hiding in her fillyhood clubhouse. The sound of hooves was obvious as a pony approached. The tension came out of her shoulders when she saw her brother. 'Ok, even if they tell me to leave and never come back, at least Mac has the decency to do it himself. I'll accept whatever Granny's decision is.'

"You quite done?" Her brother called up.
"Ah bin done fer hours."
"Not talking about the fight. I kin hear you sniveling from here."
"Ah'm not cryin'." He didn't dignify her blatant lie with a response.

"You want to come down here, or do I need to get a crick in my neck talking to you like this?"
She felt feverish and flushed as she negotiated the aged wooden plank that served as stairs.
"Hwoo, thank ya' kindly Ma'am, that was starting to smart something fierce."
"I'm, I'm so sorry for causing trouble."

"Causing trouble seems to be what family is for. So's fixing each other's messes." He raised a hoof, unable to decide if a hug would help at this point. "You can't disown us, and we'll never turn our backs on you, sis." Well, if she was going to start crying again he might as well join in.

"Ah ha aha, haa... you want to know the funny part? It's not that I was afraid you'd gone out and replaced me first chance you got." Her brother frowned at her. "Hey, the heart ain't logical, I never said it was a sensible fear. What's funny is, I was mad at her... Twilight? 'Cause I was afraid I deserved to be replaced." The next few minutes were the simple part, more tears, gentle reassurance, and a return to something like normality.

The hard part, but the part needed to continue forward, came next. "Jackie?" She looked at him, "there's somepony you need to talk to." The look of horrified betrayal as she scooted away from him hurt more than he cared to admit, but he made his retreat regardless.

There she was... difficult to see in the gloom, even with that pink streak. "W-what?"
Twilight flinched,"I-I'm sorry. If I had known, I would never have... it was too late by the time I realized you existed. I, I have a brother - an older brother. I'd never forgive anypony who tried to take him away from me I-" She was sobbing? SHE WAS SOBBING? What right did she have to... 'be an innocent victim of circumstance? Every one ah could ever think of.'

The pressure was there again, that click. 'That's enough of this.' And she left... her anger, her fear, most of her resentment, and... her guilt. Jackie let them all go, like a tide of sewage washed away by floodwaters. "You know what?" Twilight's head came up, unsure what to expect. "You got a pretty good right hook. Needs a little work, but I doubt you've had much cause for practice."

Twilight's mind raced, was this happening? "M-more than you might think, my my B-brother's in the Royal Guard."
"That so? That's pret-ty impressive. Mah Daddy did a tour, ages ago. Look, I still don't like you-but that doesn't matter. What's your name?"

The unicorn seemed to understand what was happening, she presented her hoof. "I'm Twilight Sparkle. Wha-"
"Well Howdy Twilight Sparkle, Name's Apple Jackie Orange, and it is a pleasure to meet ya'. Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres." She shook the unicorn's hoof for all she was worth, trying to work out all the last of their conflict.

Twilight had to use magic to stop her hoof from shaking up and down. "Well it's a pleasure to meet you Jackie, welcome to Sweet Apple Acres."

They weren't friends, but it was a fresh start. Second chances are precious because they are so rare.

Artwork by: Inspired_Light

Author's Note

Chapter 4, 'For want of a Rider' is comprised of Six sub-chapters.

*With all possible apologies to MallaJong, your words were just too perfect to pass up.

For want of a Rider iv/vi

For want of a Rider

Part iv of vi

For Want of Speed

"Not interested, sorry kid."
"This is not my line."
"Needs work, revise your work before you show it around."
"You must be joking."
"How could you even...?"
"I sense NO majicks in this, take it avay."
"How did you find me?"

"And just hwhat are you doing here?" The dark gray stallion lowered his silver shades to glare at the ruffian proffering a handful of colorful sketches at him.

"M'fwowing mah wuwk. Ptoo! I'm showing my work around, I figure once somepony sees how awesome my designs are they'll be bound to want to make them. Pretty clever, huh?" The blue pegasus was so excited to be having more than two words with one of the 'big designers' about her ideas that she completely failed to notice the eye twitch the Stallion was making.

"No, that is not hwhat I hwas asking. This is my PRIVATE home, how in Equestria did you get past my security?"

"Oh, those guys? No problem, I climbed around your front wall, ducked through one of those little elevator things you rich people have instead of just carrying things upstairs, edged around some of those potted plants in the main hallway - oh, NICE color on the ...glaze by the way, how do they get it so shine in two different colors? Nevermind, what I mean is, any amazingly gymnastic and highly determined pegasus foal who was half as awesome as me could have gotten here." 'Ok, tone down on the boasting, not doing that anymore...'

"Well, since you've gone to So much trouble... I'll tell you a few things. First of all, your use of perspective is entirely off, and that's from a pony who looks a fashion drawings all day. You need more work. Also, how exactly do you expect anyone to actually Make this?" The stallion was glancing at his doorway occasionally.

"What?"

"I said, how Exactly do you expect Anypony to take this... this sketch and turn it into a working design? You've drawn in details that defy the laws of physics, and your model's coiffure would require so much structural work that Pony Gaga's personal designer would probably hang up her meat dresses before even trying. If you want to break into the industry, you need to know a thing or two before you start." The stallion looked off wistfully into a nostalgia colored past before returning to the present. "However, before you can 'break into fashion' you're going to have to explain to the city guard about 'breaking into' my house!" The stallion's quip was all the warning Rainbow Dash got before three well paid Security Ponies desperately tried to justify their paychecks.

Leaping into the air, Rainbow barely avoided a pincer attack by the outside two ponies, turning mid air so she could avoid the middle one's attempt to grab her. 'Huh, all that stretching they made me do in recovery seems to be helping. Gotta keep that routine up.' She scuttled between the legs of the tallest as he struggled to his hooves, causing his two allies to smash into him, leaving all three in a pile. "So, huff, what you're saying is I," duck, tumble, climb onto number 3's back... "erg, need to, whoa! Learn how to make the stuff I want other ponies to make?"

In spite of himself, Hoity Toity was enjoying this. The filly was embarrassing paramilitary security that cost more a week than her parents probably brought home in a month, and she was wasting time to try and glean a few more words of advice from him. "Hwell, two thoughts. First of all, hwhy are you trusting others to bring about Your vision?"

"Well, really it never. Oops," She turned around and caught a rather expensive vase that was falling, using her wings. "See, that, with the color? It's green, but when I - hup!" She tossed the vase skyward as she ducked low, turning to climb on top of the prone pony guard to catch the vase again, setting it in front of Hoity, and resting her hoof in top. "Thanks fellas, that was a great workout, really helped me cure some of the kinks left over from my injury." 'Was that rubbing it on too thick? None of them look hurt.' She turned back to the fashion pony. "Seriously, these guys are really good, you... you're not going to fire them for this or anything, right?" The stallion of style raised an eyebrow behind imperious shades. "Hay I'm not here to hurt anypony."

"Chatoyance."
"Huh?"
"The word to describe the finish? Chatoyancy, although it can easily be mistaken for iridescence, which is the shimmering rainbow effect one sees in certain seashells and the carapaces of beetles." Hoity Toity gestured to his security detail to wait outside the door.

"And the other one?"
"Hwa- ah, hahaha... yes my other point was when you do trust others to carry out your vision, why wouldn't you want to learn how to make it as easy for them to achieve your goal as possible?"

"..." A light dawned in the Pegasus's mind. "I... ok. Wow. Aw pony, that's going to take a lot of work." She looked up, "You... thank you so much. I kinda' feel bad for breaking into your house now." She chuckled embarrassedly and began backing towards the door.

"Next time, and I do Not expect to see you for a Very long time, try knocking."

The three guards flanked Rainbow as she left the building. The Ponies to her right and behind her remained utterly silent, glaring forwards and conveying strong purpose. The Pony to her left spoke as they neared the door, revealing herself to be a mare. "Nice moves kid, you should consider taking Pon-Ki-Do or something. Why didn't you fly though? 'Kept expecting you to take to the air."

"Not really my thing, anymore. I'll see about that pokey doke."

Her father fell into hysterics, her mother hit him with a broom. In the end, they got her a broken down old manual sewing machine, let her use a pair of rusty old shears, and scrounged up old bedsheets that weren't being used. Sewing needles turned out to be easy to get ahold of - and in some cases difficult to remove. In the end she resorted to using her wings a great deal, both to increase her reach, the machinery having been designed for adult ponies, and to stabilize her work. Grim determination yielded to competency slowly but at a pace that suggested further progress was possible - which was all the encouragement she needed to keep going.

So, sewing was possible if tedious - but some of the things she wanted to make couldn't be made out of cloth. Crochet seemed impossible, it wasn't until the sixth time trying to learn that she got the hang of the loops and hooks, and then it was like flying, just a simple set of motions repeated with an infinite number of subtle variations to produce a world of different results. Knitting was easy once she rigged up a harness for her wings using string and rubber bands. Leather-working took more patience but was effectively sewing slowed down. She could see the problems about shape now, how everything but crochet started with something flat and expected you to cut and join it so the seams pulled everything into a three dimensional shape. She discovered Origami and was hooked, although it took a long time for her to slow down enough to get the folds just right - paper was unforgiving about sloppiness.

School plodded along, until it occurred to her to check out Shop Class. 'Whoa, this has nothing to do with shopping at all! Is that a welding torch!?' One side benefit of all the craft-work came when Math suddenly went from being her arch-nemesis to her secret ally. Ratios and fractions were like measurements of length or volume, curvatures were much easier when she realized she could write out a couple of numbers instead of cutting and re-cutting until she found the right length by feel.

Drawing was always there, even if only in the background. Every spare moment seemed to involve a sketch of something that caught her eye or a shape she was trying to figure out. Her Mother, dear sweet Sunny Rains, was the one who mentioned Drafting to her, 'Argh, again with stuff that doesn't mean what it looks like it means!' It was a revelation, a connection Rainbow could make between art, math, flat things, and three-dimensional things.

She had to tear herself away some days, but she kept up a regimen of running, wing building exercises, stretching and flexibility exercises - there was a noticeable increase in her creativity when she felt good - like after a real workout - even as she resented the intrusion on her time... sometimes she came back to a project and saw it in a whole new light. She started doing that on purpose, projects, working almost all the way through, and then taking a break before continuing. At the very least it never lost her anything, and a break often provided better objectivity.

Rainbow Dash took a part-time job at a carriage shop. She had to contribute money to the household, every school had looked at her crazy all-over-the-map studies and politely suggested she might find another school better suited to her 'interests'. But she also took it because she'd started thinking about machinery - nothing super-complicated, but Wheels, and joints, gears and pulleys, the simple stuff seemed like it'd be useful to understand.

The job lasted six months, and she liked the work fine - putting stuff back together felt right, like there was an order to things. The problem was ponies were such sticks in the mud about the exact order things went together, and they didn't always like her improvements, which almost always worked... mostly. It was a good learning experience, and led directly to her first major breakthrough.

"So, what am I looking at here exactly? I can go see a copy of Vitruvian Pony at the museum if that's all this is."
"I call it the 'Pega-chute', it's like a cross between a hang-glider and a parachute, but it's not always sticking out, and a pegasus can use it without tangling their real wings - in case they can't fly for some reason. But it can still be used by Earth Ponies and Unicorns - in fact I re-worked the pull-strings on the release so that Anypony can use it in the way that feels natural to them." The young mare was quite proud of her revisions.

"I don't see no details about safety testing."
"Oh, I did all that myself."
"Uh huh."
"No, really. First couple of failures really hurt, too." She smiled as the solution came to her, "Tell you what, I'll give you a demonstration, I just need some rope... here we go." The Business Mare watched in horrified fascination at the complex circumlocutions the Pegasus used to tie her wings down... with her wings. "Ok, now I just need you to pull that line... there." The business mare complied without thinking.

"Wait! what are you doing?" She screamed as the now flightless pegasus threw herself off the side of the building they had, until recently, both been standing on.

"All I have to do is, huff, pull -there!" With a 'sproink!' tension caused a mechanical ballet of framework and canvas to reconfigure itself from a saddlebag into what looked for all the world like a set of canvas wings. Sure they were the stretched tautness of bat or dragon wings, but they caught the air and kept the Pegasus from hitting the - ooh, they didn't keep her from crashing into a street vendor on the other side of the street.

It took her ten minutes to track down the blue pegasus afterward, but Business Savvy knew a lead when she saw one, and collateral damage had not dimmed her interest. "Hey, kid! What's the deal, this some kind of tease play or something?"

Rainbow Dash looked up in surprise, "wha? I crashed. Who wants a product that makes you crash? I figured you wouldn't be interested."

"Nah, no no. You didn't crash, you threw yourself at the ground and missed. That's flying"
"It felt more like falling without style."
"Hah, a comedienne too, huh? You're a regular Renaissance Mare. So, you got my attention, what are you looking at for a deal?" This was going to be the hard part, young hungry inventor, eyes on riches and fame - always had unreal expectations about business contracts.

"Well, I want to hold onto the original design rights. Everypony I've talked to said not doing that was a huge mistake." Savvy's profit sense diminished by the same amount her opinion of the Pegasus increased, she nodded to keep the pony talking. "Well, I want to get SOME credit for the design, I know you have to turn a profit or why would you make it? But... I kind of want it to be as affordable as possible. I... if these had been around a few years ago my whole life might be different right now." There was a sore point there.

"Ok, thing is I can't give you any solid numbers without knowing how much material, what kind of training an assembly team will need, and what kind of machinery we'll need to automate the process would cost. You a equinitarian or something? You know talking public good won't earn you any bonus points right? I'm all for the public, no customers if there's no ponies, but... I got family to feed, if you know what I mean."

"Wait, this is happening? This is a thing? Oh, that's... awesome!" Rainbow shook her head, re-orienting her focus, Savvy would later swear she heard a rattling noise like a cowbell. "Well, I've got all my notes on construction back at my house, and I can probably produce the first few batches, and I can certainly show your people how to make them so it works just right - there's a LOT of tension going on in there, believe me!" She seemed to find that funny. "Heee... but Dad says I've got to have signatures before I let you see anything." She crossed her front hooves.

"Kid, I foresee a very... interesting business partnership here."

"Well, to be perfectly honest, I don't really see us ever needing these." The Royal Guard Unicorn was white, had multi-hue blue hair, and was a total hottie. "Plus, these ties here? they'd interfere with our normal armor ties. I had to try one for half a day, and let me tell you it chafed pretty badly." 'I wonder if he's single.' "Hello? Miss?".

Rainbow Dash crashed back to earth, metaphorically. "Uh yeah, chafing. Heh." She scribbled notes furiously, hoping to work the blush off her face. "Well, I could try to work up a mount that attaches directly to the armor-"

"That's NOT a good idea" The unicorn interrupted.
"Why?"
"Armor straps can fail. In fact they're designed to in case we fall into water, as a safety feature."
"Huh... they it might be possible to... Ok, yeah, yeah... liking that..." A thought occurred to her, a delicious thought. "Mr. Captain Armor sir, can I get you to turn sideways just a bit?"

"That would be Captain Armor, but you're not enlisted so it's not expected for you to address me by my rank... the actual military might demand it, but the Princess wants the Guard to be approachable, so you can just call me Shining." 'Oh, you're approachable all right Shiny...' "So, like this?" 'Whoa girl, keep a little focus here...'

"That's... perfect. You're going to be the new base model for my next design. All the girls are going to love this."
Shining Armor choked on air. "Wh-what!?"
"Chillax hot-stuff, just ya-giving you a ha-I'm teasing you." 'Can ya' be any more awkward Dash?' "What you said about the armor release, it occurred to me that falling off a high place would be another 'armor failure' condition, so why not set up something that fits under the Armor." 'Ack! Bad brain! Stoppit!'

The Guardspony was clearly getting uncomfortable. "Miz Dash, I'm afraid you're taking this interview in inappropriate directions. If you don't have any other APPROPRIATE questions, I'm going to have to get back to my duties." 'Oh dear Celestia he is so cute when he's flustered.'

Rainbow Dash took in a deep breath and let it go. "Look, Captain Armor, I didn't mean to disrespect you or your title. I respect the right of Stallions to work and I'm really sorry for my inappropriate remarks. Thank you standing still for my sketch, your concerns, and your time. I'll find someone else to bother if I have any more ideas. Can we end this amicably, please?"

"Well, yeah I just... yes. Ok, so that's all you needed?"
"That should be plenty, oh, and Captain Shining Armor?"
Sigh, "what?"
"Tell your mare-friend I said she's got good taste."
"You-how, wha?" Rainbow Dash made her escape, wings pumping to speed her up so she got off the castle grounds before bursting out laughing.

The ponies of Canterlot regarded her with affront. "Hah haa... ... what? Oh like you've never investigated a plot before?" The Stallion in question snorted hurried away.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Hi, this is Fluttershy. I know we haven't talked in a long time, but I just saw a rainbow the other day - ok, I saw Cloud Kicker make one - and it reminded me of you.

What are you doing these days? I moved to Ponyville and have been working on the Weather Team for the last few years. You know what? I don't think I ever thanked you for getting me to give flying a second chance. I have no idea what I'd be doing with my life right now if I didn't have the skies.

Ditzy Doo works here too, only she goes by Derpy now - says she's going to own the name and make it something people admire instead of... well a childhood insult. I think she might be taking it too far, but I have to respect her spirit. Actually, Cloud Kicker is here too - you know, I never realized just how many members of our Cloudsdale Flight School Alumni work in Ponyville now.

If you're not to busy, I'd love to visit or have you visit. We could catch up on old times, and you could show me whatever super-awesome thing it is you're working on now.

In any case, don't be a stranger,
Your friend,
Fluttershy

She just had to laugh, finishing the letter. 'Friends, do I even have any of those anymore? Well, Flutters hasn't given up on me, obviously.' The Pega-chute had taken over her life. All the variations, the materials revisions, the modifications for the ultra-lite versions, and the revisions to Reckless Endangerment laws because of the device had taken up all her time.

She couldn't think of the last time she'd worked on something else. 'Darn it, I can take a vacation any time I want - I AM my own boss. You're on 'Shy. In fact, why don't I just move my whole workshop to Ponyville? This behemoth can support itself, Biz' doesn't need me underhoof. In fact, I could just let her buy me out - the rights alone will keep my folks from ever worrying about their bills.'

For the first time in a while, Rainbow Dash felt inspiration. 'I can start a workshop, make custom gear, work out my own ideas. Call it Dashworks... that's a terrible name. No... "Flashworks" that's a name with some pizazz.'

It had been remarkably easy to tear up every attachment she ever had to her home and business. A lot of early work was either in storage or had been thrown away in a fit of cleanliness. Her mother had kept far more pieces than she really liked, but arguing with the Mare who brought you into the world had never been Rainbow's forte. Her best drafting tools all fit into a long saddlebag, and fabrication equipment had to be custom ordered and installed. It took her about two months to uproot her entire life and relocate - and that included the time spent setting up an annuity for her parents from her residuals on the Pega-chute. That had sparked the realization that she had more money lying around than she really liked to think about.

In fact, it took her two whole weeks to realize why the subject turned her stomach. 'It's useless. I have a pile of mony just lying around. I could probably never work another day in my life and manage to not starve at least for the rest of my life.' That made her profoundly uncomfortable. 'W-what am I DOING with my life? I got into this to help ponies, and even with my best efforts the 'chute' isn't going to help more than fifty ponies a year, maybe. I, I don't wanna be a drain. I can't, nopony can get hurt because of me, even by inaction - if I can help somepony, I've got to or else I'm... no I just have to find ponies who need help.'

Her attorney 'when the hay did that happen?' Good Hooves, was willing to set up several entities in anticipation of her discovery of 'worthwhile causes', even if he didn't see the point. It was a client's privilege to do what they wished with their money, he just made sure they did it as efficiently, and as Legally as possible. "Well, there is always the 'Hoofbody-Mareson Opportunity Grant' if you're trying to invest in future generations."

"Yeah, sure, sounds great. Hey, how much of a problem is it to just give a chunk of the money to the government?"
"I beg your pardon?" Good Hooves hoped with all his being that he was not being asked to bribe the-.
"Not like a bribe or anything. The government is there to take care of ponies, right? So it stands to reason that the most efficient way to get this stuff to ponies who need it is to give it the ponies who spend bits every day trying to take care of EVERYPONY."

"I... can't fault your logic, but. And forgive me for saying so, but just - just handing your money over means you have no control of what they choose to-"

"I DON'T WANT control! I have more money than I deser-than I need. I want somepony to benefit from it rather than it just laying around."

"There are possiblities... now would you be interested in a lump payment or some annuity plan?"
"Difference? In Equestrian, if possible?"
"Hem, a lump is just that. We give the ... Government a specific amount of money and they do... whatever they choose with it. An annuity would require setting up a specific financial enti-a big bank account, sort of, and having the interest from that ... big account paid out periodically to the Government - less money now, but they keep getting it."

'Well, dumping a huge pile of bits on them might cause it's own problems. The annual thingie sounds good but if it's-' "Hey."

"Yes?"
"The 'annuity' plan, that comes with a name, doesn't it?"
"Err, that is the tradition, yes."
"No."
"No?"
"You find me a way to pay it out without anypony knowing the money is coming from me. I am NOT doing this to get any credit. I will get famous and be admired because of my superawesome radical inventions, not because somepony builds a museum with my money."

"... there has to be a trail so the ERS can track everything, but I believe its possible to prevent anypony else from ever uncovering the identity of the donor. The fund will have to be called something, should I come up with some unassuming title?"

"Nah, call it 'Do Well' or something like that."
"Then that leaves us with the small matter of how much of your personal fortune you wish to invest in this endeavor."

"Let's see, we need the cash for my folks. That's going towards buying and outfitting a shop in Ponyville, and say enough bits to float me for a month... Ok, this much" The number was nearly everything else she was worth.

"Y-you..."
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Get me one of those forms I can sign that says 'yeah, I'm serious' so I can get back to other stuff."

She had never felt fewer regrets about a decision in her life. 'I'm finally free.'

Meeting Fluttershy again for the first time had been like meeting an entirely new pony who was already her best friend. Catching up with Derpy had been cool, and she had to admit Dinky was adorable. She was working her way through her other old acquaintances when she was asked to decorate Ponyville Town Hall for the Summer Sun Celebration, and how could she refuse? 'This'll be the most radical celebration ever, if I have anything to say about it.'

That was when He walked back into her life. Shining Armor, in Dress Uniform, and accompanied by another white unicorn who simply exuded class and was a natural beauty. 'There's no way I'm lucky enough that that's his sister or something. Well, can't say he's got bad taste, although the stuffed dragon accessory is kind of tacky and is definitely creepy, it looks so lifelike. And Celestia's Holey pajamas! What on earth did she do to her hair!?'

Artwork by: Inspired_Light

For Want of a Rider v/vi

For want of a Rider

part v of vi

For want of a Princess

Imagine, if you will, a field of trees. An ordinary Orchard, one of hundreds all over Equestria. This particular Orchard is composed of apple trees, and the deed to the land is held by the Apple family - if you were to check the records in the Canterlot Archives or the Certified Copy kept in the Ponyville Records Room it would even be embossed with the Apple Family seal... an Apple. Apples apples apples... which grow from the earth.

Come closer, see a pony standing in the orchard. Lavender hide, stars on her flank, dark purple hair - with lighter fuchsia colored streaks - tied back to avoid getting in her eyes.

What you are seeing is not an earth pony but a unicorn. She is trying to knock apples off a tree with her hooves. She tries once, twice. Then something happens, her horn lights - just a little - and she tries again. Apples fall, and keep falling. She looks into the tree to make sure there isn't a filly in the branches making them fall, sees none. Satisfaction turns to curiosity, why is she still hearing the sound of apples falling? Zoom out slightly, notice the surrounding trees are dropping apples as well, moving back further, a spreading wave of apple-fall becomes visible. Things like this happen in... the Sweet Apple Acres.

Twilight packed as quickly as she could, taking care to be quiet. 'Three days. It took three whole days to gather up all the apples I made fall, half of them were no good by the time we got to them, compost or pig-food - although I suppose in the end there's really no difference.' She was a force of destruction, a walking disaster area - and she couldn't inflict herself on the Apples in good conscience any longer. 'I'll have to sneak out, if I tell them I'm leaving they'll feel obligated to ask me to stay. They won't say so, but they'll resent me for staying. No, for everypony's good I have to leave here unnoticed.' ...You come up with that on your own? I don't remember being so self-serving... '...Shut up, Me.'

If she hadn't startled into immobility, she'd have given herself a concussion by facehoof. Two steps past the stairs she had heard a loud crash from the kitchen, followed by crying. Apple Bloom lay on the floor. Shattered ceramic strewn about, cookies distributed throughout the mess. The filly looked unharmed, and immediately noticed Twilight's saddlebags and pack. 'That kid is far too perceptive for my own good.' Apple Bloom's relief at rescue evaporated into a look of confused betrayal. "Wh-where are you-"

Before Twilight could say or do anything, a deep soft tread on the stairs alerted her to Macintosh's approach. Some instinct of empathy made Twilight grab Apple Bloom from her resting place and set the filly down by the stairs. Macintosh raised his brow as his little sister came to a rest in a purple glow.

Once again her attempts at speech were interrupted, this time by the Apple Family Matron, "What in tarnation is all that racket? A body kin barely get a wink'a sleep with all the fool crashin' going on." 'Great, Granny Smith too, of course. She sleeps through thunderstorms but a cookie-jar is loud enough to... I wonder if her hearing loss depends on pitch-' ...*Psst*, not important right now.' All of the Apples were looking at her. "Ah think we need an Apple Fam-err a Sweet Apple Acres Staff Emergency Meetin'."

"So, you kin talk to plants?"

"I... don't think it's... direct communication. I can-my magic seems to be attuned to plantlife, and I can both use my magic on them easier and I can ... make requests? The key part is that I also get a low-level sense of response, like if the plants need something or if what I'm planning would hurt them - that's very important, but... weird."

"If you ask and they answer, how's that not a conversation?"
"It... ok, I hadn't looked at it like that. I suppose it is."
"You could do worse for a 'special talent' Ah think." Apple Bloom mumbled something.
"Hey, c'mon, it's no fair mumbling. Either say it out loud or don't say it at all."
"Ah said, you could be stuck with a Cutie Mark fer 'doing your job'."

"..." Twilight stopped. "Apple Bloom, are you afraid your destiny isn't going to meet your expectations?"

"Ah love mah family, ah love apples, ah miss mah-I I jus' don't want to wake up one day and realize mah life is already set down an' ah'll never get 'ta try anything new ever again."

"You... hrm. You know, there are three things tangled up in what you're talking about. There's your Cutie Mark," 'Which thankfully you won't even start worrying about for a few years.' "there's your Special Talent, which your Mark represents, and then there's your Destiny. They are not the same things." Twilight racked her brains, "Have you ever heard the legend of Taylor Little, the Giant-Slayer? Once, approximately one thousand four hundred years ago - give or take a decade..."

Twilight pawed at the ground. She felt good, her work for the day was done, she had cleaned off, and she still had some free time before the afternoon work started. 'So, Fact 1: Many of my mistakes come from misinterpretation of what others say, or their misunderstanding of me. Fact 2: I... don't deal well with situations I can't understand - I tend to start imagining worst-case scenarios and building on them. Fact 3: My life experiences are what I draw on to understand and be understood by other ponies, and are also how I learn what ISN'T the end of the world. ... Conclusion, I need to make up for my serious deficit of pony to pony interactions.' ...In Equestrian?... 'I know what I mean' ...Consider it practice for your "Pony to Pony Interactions"... ' *Rrrg* fine, I need to ... make friends.'

In later years Twilight would come to think of the next few minutes as her first good example of life's fondness for the kind of coincidence so many ponies mistake for irony. At the time what she thought was 'Abbagarble Pink!' as she was jarred from her internal monologue by ... ' a pony? pink, sad, letter, saddlebags, smell of feathers and celery, downcast blue eyes, no horn and no wings, where the hay did she come from - didn't hear her coming. Ohmygosh I could talk...wait she's sad, I remember reading something - Ineedresearch!'. Barely noticing she had caught herself in midair with telekinesis, she started running in mid-air while using the same magic to race off to her collection of books on social interaction.

The pink pony took the entire spectacle in, snorted, and continued on her quest, grumbling "well THAT was interesting" to herself.

"Ok, let me go through that list again: Pinka-somthing 'DIANE' Pie, she's a.. was raised Manenite, lived with the healer Rosey Poesy for the last five years. She likes animals, doesn't seem afraid of the Everfree Forest. Oh, and Ms. Poesy just died. ... That right?"

"Eyup,"
"...and that last one wasn't what you felt you should lead with?"

"Mnope," Twilight had been on the farm long enough to recognize Macintosh suppressing a smirk.

"Ookay. Well, I'll go to the 'Wake', but I can't exactly throw her a part right after that - I think that'd be in terrible taste."

"Eyup,"
"That wasn't a question."
"Mnope."
"..."

The party had been a disaster, she wasn't even sure how Apple Bloom had ended up covered in tree sap. But two important things had happened. Diane had shown some emotion and seemed better for it, and...'I actually had a conversation with a pony my age. It was... good. Now I just have to keep finding excuses to talk to her - so I can help her. I really never thought I'd meet somepony who was worse with social interactions than I am.' And of course she needed to start talking to ponies in town too. 'Right, I'll... ease my way into that.'

Sugarcube Corner, a bakery. Run by Mr. and Mrs. Cake - happily married - carries confections, conventional breads, cakes, and curious concoctions of sweet to savory flavor. 'Stop the Alliteration, you're smart, I get it.' It was a haven of smells, warmth, and comfort. It also had a bandaged blue-green pegasus at the service counter. "Uh, hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle..."

"Greetings, I am Sea Foam, and you are looking at my bandages. You want to ask why I am bandaged?"
"Err, well, yes."
"I was struck a mighty blow by a n- by a Unicorn. Under the circumstances she was justified."
"What in Equestria could have justified doing that!?"
The pegasus lowered her ears and her voice, "I may have implied that she was a narwhal."
Twilight jerked back, "Eh, that's ... that wasn't nice of you. But..."

The pegasus looked left and right to be sure there were no other customers. She trotted over to the door, flipped the business sign, and pulled the shades down. Turning back to the confused unicorn she spoke in a hushed, conspiratorial tone, "I am not what you see before you. My people were a proud race or sea-dwelling ponies. I know not what happened, but one day I found myself above the clouds in a form I did not recognize. An entire civilization, living on solid clouds far above the sea and lands - at first I was entranced by such a fanciful world, but I began to long for my people, my friends, my... family. Nopony had heard of them, and I could not find them even in a transmogrified form such as my own." She wrestled with her emotions, collecting herself.

"Eventually I had to accept that the world had changed, somehow. I met new ponies and found a family of sorts, good, honest ponies not bound by the strictures of this strange new world. Even-even then we were subject to attrition, but we have persevered and claimed fair Ponyville as home and sanctuary. And it was here that, finally, I found some sign that my world had not been swallowed whole." He wings flapped twice as she raised her head high, "the grand dreamer, Lyra Heartstrings, parading through a sea of grass rather than the glory of our homeland. In my home she was heir to the great traditions of the sea Bard, keeper of the song of our people."

"Wh-where I come from, sea unicorns were always called Narwhals and it was a sign of respect for their powers over the waves and sound. My enthusiasm when I embraced her and began asking if she had memories of our homeland, I ... in my joy I ignored her discomfort, I failed or refused to see that she did not share my memories. She, already unnerved, was driven past tolerance when I declared her noble race. But, even driven to panic and rage, she is still of a noble spirit, and transported me to medical care - I hold her no ill will and will not bother her again."

Twilight was speechless, 'Uh, you got any ideas?' ...Nope, nothing from over here, and I think we know from crazy... 'Alright then, shut up.' Eventually there was only one thing to say. "You know your whole story sounds crazy, right? A secret fourth race of ponies that has NEVER been seen? And you, somehow, the only survivor? Occam's Razor tells us the simplest answer is often the right one. How can you be sure you didn't just make this all up?"

The pegasus shifted as though struck, "Of, of course I have considered the possibility. But in my heart it feels true, and ... a pony wiser than I shall ever be told me the truth: It doesn't matter." Her tears told another story but she held Twilight's gaze.

Through the knot in her throat, Twilight asked "How can it not matter?"
"I BELIEVE what I feel in my heart. If I am insane and can't be cured, how is that truly any different than if I am cursed?"

"B-but..." Twilight's mind raced, 'But that only works if she can't be cured. If therapy could help her she could remember her real past, find the family,' ...that hasn't ever tried to find her... 'No! Living a lie is always harmful, isn't it?' ...Oh yes, think about how painful it was for you when your foal teeth fell out and you had to put them under your pillow for the Tooth Breezie... 'That's nothing like this, that was a lie we tell to foals so they can get through a difficult part of their lives, or to make them wonder about the wider world. When they grow up you TELL THEM the truth!' ...I think we're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.'

"Okay, you know what? If you're happy like this, I think it's a pleasure to meet my first Flying Seapony."
"Do you mock me? There are no... oh... Thank you." 'Hugs?' ...Hugs.'

"So, Twai?"

"Yesss Apple Bloom?" She was at a critical point in stirring the sauce, which turned out to require a great deal of concentration. 'I've seen alchemy that was easier than this,' ...it didn't taste nearly as good though... 'True, but shut up.'

"Um, yer pret-ty good. At magic."

"Well, modesty requires me to point out there are better... but yes, I'm good. At. Magic."

"And you could cast a spell to find something, right?"
"Found Smarty-Pants when you 'borrowed' her last month, didn't I?"

"Yeeaahhh... do– do you think there's an upper limit on jus' how FAR you could find a thing?"

"Technically, no. In practical terms, the wider the area, the longer it might take to find something." Stir, pause, mix slightly, lower temperatures... "what, are you. Trying to find?"

"Mah long lost sister." Apple Bloom said, barely audible.

Luckily the sauce came off the oven at this point. "You have a SISTER!? I-I don't think I've ever seen, I mean nopony ever mentions... not, not that your family is any of my business – err, other than my working for them. But. OUCH!" She never did figure out why she had put her hoof into molten apple syrup.

"Have ah mentioned how very, truly, sincerely sorry ah am about yer hoof?"

"Only twenty-three times so far, and like every other time I'm going to say it wasn't your fault and I absolve you of any circumstantial guilt you may feel." 'Full disclosure - shut up ...Err, that was you, I mean me, I mean YOU shut up.' "You know, I have an older brother. If I felt like I'd lost him, I'd probably move the Sun and the Moon to find him."

"Is THAT who 'Shining Armor' is? I always figured it was a code or somethin'."

"We will have a conversation about respecting other pony's mail AFTER we violate your sister's right to privacy."

"So you're really gonna do the location magic?"
"No."
"B-but-" Applbloom turned her puppy eyes up to eleven.

"No, like I said, that might take a long time to work. If she was on another continent, neither of us might be alive by the time the spell found her. And stop that." Twilight mussed Apple Bloom's hair to show she wasn't angry.

"Then what are you going to do?"
"I'm, going to combine a sending with a... favor. Remember when I said that I could ask the trees for things? I think if I create a beacon of identity for your sister, Applejack, I can channel a sending... uh send a letter and if she's near any plant-life at all, it will find her."

"How will we know when it's worked?"
"... when she comes back to see you."
"But!-"

"Apple Bloom, we can't know why she hasn't ever come home. We have to respect her right to make her own decisions. What I'm doing is reminding her that her choices affect other ponies - like her little sister." She raised her hoof to ward of the next round of complaints, "and I need you to write a letter to her for this to work. I- the spell will at least let you know she's alive - this wouldn't work with a dead pony."

She realized her mistake the same moment the spell took full effect. The precise distance was fuzzy, but Twilight Sparkle could feel where the pony whose family called 'Applejack' was. "She... she's alive, you can take your hooves off your eyes."

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou," Apple Bloom gushed as she hugged the mare. 'Well, now that I've found the original, how do I go about removing myself? ...What? Not this again... 'Shu-no. Not like last time, I won't run. Heh, I'll know exactly when she gets- huh, she's coming this way already...' For now, she hugged the filly back. It was enough, it had to be.

The trees told her before the spell even let her know. It was like a groan of recognition, but one of relief instead of pain. Twilight did her best to remain at the edges. 'As soon as she's back into the rhythm, I'll go' ….Liar... 'Shut up, shutupshutupSHUT.UP!'

One more thing. Apple Bloom had to introduce her to Cousin Braeburn '...Yowsa' 'What are you... omigosh stop thinking that.' Then the family needed one more sorting run and she'd just perfected her technique so she couldn't just leave. Then the Crisps came in from Canterlot, and it would have been rude to leave without extending regards to ponies her parents knew. And then it was the day before the BIG DAY and the whole family was needed for the last push.

Yeah, it was the 'last push' that did it. All the frustration, and the huge unspoken question 'why do I have to give this place up just because you came back?' ...Wow, prodigal much- 'Be silent, or I will end us both just to spite the you-that-is-me.' Knowing exactly where her opponent was helped a great deal, but years of wrestling with a Bigger, older, and definitely Stronger brother had left Twilight with some skill in the art of sibling war.

Then came the flood, a torrent of rain the likes of which had probably not happened since Celestia had accepted Rule. It was enough to shock both ponies out of their rage. It was certainly enough for 'JackApple' to become horrified with herself and flee.

Twilight was just evaluating her options in that regards when life threw another of those unfortunate coincidences everypony called 'ironic' her way. "Twilight? What's going on?"

"BBBFF?"

Artwork by: Inspired_Light

For want of a Battle: part i

For Want of a Battle

1/5

How does one begin to describe an epic event? With an image? A town of some 10,000 souls, gingerbread style wooden village houses, a central town hall in a circular shape like an overgrown gazeebo? View, coming in from the sky, gleaming white and gold carriage drawn by winged horses in armor? But that isn't where it starts. Here is where it starts:

The Stallion in White fled and the History Professor followed. Do ya kennit?

"C'mon Shining Armor, she's gaining on us! Run for your life! And mine, too." the little dragon was using a certain amount of hyperbole.

"HEATHSPIKE BELL YOU COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! I will not have you parading around town with a dirty face! Captain, come back here!" She would likely have started using magic at this point, but she became Mare-interrupted when an immovable force of white and purple met an irresistible obstacle of yellow and pink.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going and you came out of nowhere... Oh, my, you're all covered in mud. Here let me help."

'Help!? You already covered me in more muck than is reasonable.' thought the mud covered unicorn. "No matter, a simple cantrip and I will be-" Her words were drowned out by a deluge of rain.

'Hmm. I'd better not make a habit of doing that every time there's a problem.' Fluttershy considered, "Are you-"

"Rarity? Are you ok, we noticed you weren't..." Stallion and dragon took in the sight of a sopping wet white unicorn and contrite yellow pegasus. Self-preservation was overwhelmed by the sheer ridiculousness of the scene, and they collapsed over each-other laughing helplessly. Rarity, for her part started emitting a low growl.

"I-I can still fix this, hold still please." Fluttershy began circling the unicorn at high speed, generating a funnel of wind-force that all but sucked the moisture from the bewildered Rarity.

"You ok, Rarity? It's a good thing you keep your hair short or you'd look... "Shining Armor struggled to remain composed. "look ... ridiculous."

Spike was too far gone and completed the thougth, "yeah, more ridiculous." That was too much and they fell back to the ground in laughter, tears coming to their eyes. Fluttershy even managed a few chuckles before composing herself.

"I, I don't think I've ever seen you here before. Are you new?"
"What? No, my family lives in Ponyville, although I suppose it Has been two years since the last time I visited..." Rarity's outrage collapsed under lack of support in her own mind. "Pray tell who are you?" 'Time to regain some semblance of control here.'

"Oh, I'm Fluttershy, nice to meet you miss...?"
"Err, Rarity, Rarity Bell, of the Bell family. This is my ... assistant Heathspike, and this ... gentlecolt is Captain Shining Armor of her Majesty's Royal Guard and Adjutant in Charge of preparations for the Princess's visit during the Summer Sun Celebration. What do you do, dear?"

"I'm captain of the weather team"
"Wait, You're 'Hurricane' Fluttershy!?" Shining Armor had apparently recovered from his amusement, and also seemed to have excellent hearing, AND a good memory for bureaucratic gossip. 'Duly Noted.' Rarity commented to herself. 'Now to get back to busniess.'

"Shining, isn't item two on your checklist 'ensure clear skies'? ... That's not what I see." Rarity gestured to the partly cloudy sky.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. You see, this morning I had to help a friend, and then there was a fight I helped break up and then I crashed into... uh, you. B-but I'll get right on..." Overhead pegasi raced from cloud to cloud, bucking them to bits. The sky was clear in two minutes, flat. "... writing a few commendations."

"Well, you certainly run a well disciplined team Captain Hurricane." Shining Armor complimented the pegasus.
"Please call me Fluttershy, ok? I never wanted a nickname. And I don't discipline my little ponies, I just let them know when they're doing well, and talk with them when they're having trouble. We don't have many problems, anymore." Nopony chose to challenge this last part.

'My time, at least, is valuable. I've got to have time to assess the situation on the ground here, although, the girl does look like she has talent, best not to alienate her.' "It was an absolute pleasure to meet you, Weather-Captain Fluttershy, but as I'm sure an excellent organizer such as yourself can tell we are desperate to run through the items on our checklist. So if you'll excuse us, ah hahaha..." Rarity began gently nudging the stallion along the road toward Sweet Apple Acres, while telekinetically placing her ward onto her back.

This time she was prepared, so when the blonde orange earth pony barreled down the path, Rarity leapt to the side with a triumphant shout. The earth pony was not impressed and continued running. "Uh, Rarity? She looked kind of upset. Shouldn't we try to help her?" Spike asked. 'Oh my little Heath, so caring of Others' feelings. I hope the world never grinds that out of you.'

"Spikey, we have to respect her right to privacy - she obviously wants to be alone right now."
"TWILIGHT!?" Shining Armor's mind raced from shock to surprise to remembering where his little sister had first gone on a mission and eventually found a new home - a fact he was embarrassed to have forgotten, even temporarily. Then he took in her posture, half covered in mud, struggling to rise from her back, shocked, bruised, and ... ashamed!? "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?" Anger and Outrage were wrestling with Duty and Decorum, and the 'd's were losing.

"BBBFF? W-what are you..." 'Oh, yeah, I have my own siblings and family - and here I was being so petty when- Twilight burst into tears all over again.

Red, a wall of Red was blocking Shining Armor's vision. At first he panicked that rage had made him go blind. The fact that he was able to consider this possibility made him fairly sure it wasn't the case, so he backed up enough to see that it was in fact a larger stallion standing in front of him - which put 'Big Red' in between him and Twiley, which was a mistake in Shining's opinion. "You, move, now. Not asking again."

"Look, ... Captain," Big Mac guessed at the Unicorn's rank from his armor. "this here's a mess of a situation and we all need to remain ca-" The sound Mac's jaw made when Shining Armor kicked him was crystal clear for yards in the sudden silence. Macintosh held up a hoof to forestall any eager 'family assistance'. The red stallion looked down on the upset unicorn, making the connection with Twilight's description of her 'Big Brother Best Friend Forever'. "You git ONE free shot. Do that again and we have issues."

Rarity mentally facehoofed, after making sure she had full traction on the Captain. 'Siblings, of course I forgot to research that one important-why the Buck is his "little sister" living out here!?' "Captain Armor, please calm down, there Will be a satisfactory resolution to this, I assure you, but first we must find the tru-"

"Shiny, this is all my fault. Please don't do anything to the Apples, I'm the one who got in a fight with Applejack when I had no business being jealous of her to begin with. Siblings are... siblings are imp-" nopony stopped the two unicorns from hugging and crying this time.

"So, ah, Macintosh - isn't it?"
"Eyup. Professor Bell?"
"Ey-that's correct. Assistant Professor though, no point in putting the horse before the cart, ahahaha... I... think we need to leave the 'Sparkles' alone for a while, don't you?"

"Eyup."
"We, ehehe... Captain Armor is actually here to tally the food preparations for the Celebration tomorrow. I propose we save a little of everypony's time and you just tell me if you feel the Apples are still able to meet that demand?"

"Eyup." 'Well, isn't he... efficient. I could tell that was a yes to both parts of my question.'
"Then I shall take up no more of your time. A pleasure." 'Wait... perhaps I can accomplish some personal goals as well...' "Oh do excuse me Mr. Macintosh, but don't you have a little - err a little little sister?"

Nopony spoke as they returned to the center of town to examine the Town Hall. They entered the building and still nopony spoke, although for different reasons now. 'Hmm... excellent use of color, the tabbards complement the long timbers of the supports, and the myriad hues and patterns bring to mind the varied colors shapes and marks of the ponies themselves. Impressive. I must meet the pony responsible for this display.' Wish no more than thought, it was granted, a blue pony picked up a last length of cloth and tied it in a bow around a central beam support, using a curious technique that involved both her forehooves and wings.

"Wow, ok Rarity I think we can check decorations off the list now." Shining said, keeping his voice down as though not to interrupt anything.

"Oh, hey guys, 'sup? Gimme' a minute he-... HAIR!"
"What? Where?" Spike cried, sensing the alarm but not the context.
"THERE!" The distraught pegasus cried, already barreling for the alarmed unicorn.
'Oh for crying out loud, did I really forget to fix my hair after that whole "pony typhoon" incident? Ugh, I've been walking all over town looking like a fool.' Further frustration was interrupted as the pegasus scooped Rarity up and settled her on the blue back of her abductor. "What, this is ridiculous, un-hoof me at once!"

"That HAIR is what's ridiculous! You're not bringing it within a hundred yards of a party I'm helping with - so there's no help for it but for me to give you a makeover!" 'Ugh, even if it makes me sick to think of doing it.' Rainbow Dash thought to herself.

Rarity saw a vision of herself in a tight dress with built in corset, a top-hat draped jauntily in her hair, bits of clockwork steaming around the perimeter. "No, wrong genre."

Another blur and whirl, this time she was dressed in Khaki Pants and overshirt, cotton undershirt, with a safari helmet and orange ascot, "eh, too Rule-34".

She was getting dizzy, outfits were applied and disappeared like magic - which was when she remembered she had that particular talent covered and used telekinesis to break free. She was wearing dayglow legwarmers, black hotpants and a green mesh top, her sensibly short hair had been spiked out all over. A moment's head shaking and some vigorous magic brought her back to her natural state.

"Eh, heh, maybe I got a little too carried away..." Rainbow allowed.
The front door crashed open as Stallion and Dragon Rider made a dramatic entrace, Spike wielding a broom as a lance. The stallion looked at the scene and froze, almost. "You!"

"Shiny Hiney!" 'Oh man, this is just too perfect. Huh, didn't take him as a fan of prissy, but not my business I guess.' "How's it going?"

Rarity was not the only student of the mystic arts, as Shining Armor proved by turning a rescue operation into the Great Escape by grabbing the other unicorn in a telekinetic bubble and booking with her it tow. "Trust me, we need to get away from here as fast as possible." Armor shouted to his companions, already outside the building and fleeing town.

Miles from town the dragon and unicorn had managed to ease the knight into a more relaxed state. "I'm sorry for freaking out back there Rarity, but that mare is nothing but trouble."

Rarity considered Shining's reddened cheeks. 'File that blush away for further study, right now I've got to get the last few items on this list checked off - the day is more than half wasted already!' "Well, in any case, we have one last major item on the list, the musical accompaniment. You seem to have inadvertently led us to the right place - that cottage up ahead." Rarity was moving under her own power again, and so she had Spike planted safely on her back.

Therefore the two unicorns beheld the pink pony before Spike did. She was an earth pony, somewhat subdued of expression, shoulder length mane, pink, with a slight curl at the ends, covering half her face. What was visible of her was startled by an intrusion on introspection. A flock of birds took flight as if in sympathy with her surprise. The pink pony snapped her head around to watch them fly away and then flipped about to face the interlopers, her expression somewhere between mild irritation and hesitant hospitality.

"I had not expected visitors at this hour. I am Diane Pie, whom am I greeting, please?"
"I-" Rarity began, before being gently pressed aside.
"I'm Captain Shining Armor of the Roya-"
"Shining Armor!? Is-do you have a sister? About this tall, purple, slightly too fond of research?"
"Y-yeah, wow, you sound like you know-wait, are you two friends?"
"That wouldn't be an inaccurate description."
"Wow, that's great! I-I kinda thought she was making you up."

Rarity didn't bother to disguise her facehoof. 'Of all the - I know Ponyville is a close knit community, but this is positively inbred.' "Well, it's wonderful that introductions are through with-"

"They are not. I apologize for not giving you a chance to introduce yourself and your... guest." Diane narrowed her eyes looking at Rarity, almost through her...?

"Of course, I am Rarity Bell. One of my other hats besides recorder to Adjutant Armor here is Assistant History Professor of Canterlot Central University. And I think you were referring to my son, Heathspike just now."

If the pink pony was taken aback she covered it well. Spike was not so skilled at schooling his reactions. He gaped in awe at the Pink Pony Perfection presented before him - one could imagine cartoon hearts popping up all around him - pink, of course. "She's beautiful."

While Shining Armor looked at the trees nonchalantly, the two mares backed from each other in shock. 'Oh no, this is NOT happening. My little Spikey-wikey isn't supposed to find another member of his OWN SPECIES for at least another two decades if I have any say in the matter.' Rarity paused to consider the matter, nodding once, sharply. 'Which I DO, of course. Mother knows best, time to nip this-'

"I couldn't ever return your feelings. It may sound painful to you now, but allowing your misconception to fester would only becomes a burden to all of us."

'Oh, you WITCH! How dare you stamp on my little Heathy's heart like that!' "And just what exactly makes you think Heathspike isn't good enough for you? I'll have you know this is the most lovable little dragon to have ever existed!"

'Oh dear, I have invoked a mother's wrath, this will be... intricate.' Diane considered her options. "Perhaps I did speak too quickly. Fair Heathspike, what say you?"

"Hwfaflup. Uh, I'm... I'm cool." The dragon obviously struggled not to cry.
'Augh! Why are matters of the heart always the hardest to mend?' "Perhaps a bond of friendship could salve your wounded heart? I am not a bad pony, although I may be more fond of direct resolution than many care for."

'I'm watchin' you, sister.' "Well, that's better than spitting on him, I suppose." Rarity growled. The pink pony shrank back slightly.

Spike jumped down, giving Rarity a glare as he passed. "Look, this is all my fault. I..." blush managed to force it's way past dragon scales. "Ok, look, I think you're pretty. Just, can we all get past that? Please... mom?" Diane had turned away from the rest of the group and seemed to be trying to coax the birds to return to their previous perches on the nearby tree.

"Oh, I'm sorry my little Spikey-wikey. You're just growing up so fast, I don't want you to forget me when you become a big strong, powerful, handsome dragon like I know you will."

"Rarity! Quit it, you're embarassing me!" 'Ok, if he's back to calling me by name I guess he's as recovered as he's going to be at this point.'

"Ahem, yes, well. I have retrieved most of my flock. Captain, I assume you are here about the preparations, yes? Would you three perhaps care for a preview of tomorrow's performance?" Nopony mentioned that her face was still fading back to it's normal shade of pink.

Shining Armor decided this was a safe place to reenter the conversation. "I, ah, think that won't be necessary. I'm sure any performance you put on couldn't help but be entertaining." Oops, no it wasn't. Rarity snagged her two companions and began dragging them away.

"It was quite educational meeting you, dear. Rest assured we Will speak again, I'll be sure of that."

'Why was it I wanted to meet more ponies again?' Diane grumbled to herself as she sought to center herself before addressing the birds again. Despite herself she was smiling.

"Wasn't it just so very kind of the Mayor to let us use the town Library as our base of operations like that, don't you two think?" Rarity was quite proud that it had only taken a few gentle suggestions to convince the Mayor to switch their assigned lodging.

"Uh yeah, hooray, more books." Spike groused.
"Heathspike, we are here on important business, business that will be resolved all the quicker if we have access to historical documents and writing materials. Oh, I don't think we have time to go see Sweetie Bell and your Grandparents before I start on this, I'm sorry Spike. Well at least you two will have ano-"

Whatever else Rarity was about to say was interrupted by her entrance to the library, or rather, the crowd of ponies piled inside who flipped on the lights and shouted "Surprise!" loudly. Spike leapt off and started to mingle before Rarity could tell him not to, she didn't know where these ponies had been.

"So, uh, welcome to Ponyville. Uh, welcome BACK to Ponyville, I guess." The lackluster speech was given by a suspiciously familiar looking orange pony who looked as though she had recently washed her face. While trying to form a response, Rarity was denied her other backup when Twilight Sparkle snuck in from the side and half led half dragged her brother away to talk.

"This was... unexpected, to say the least. You know, I DO come back here on occasion, I don't know why everypony always seems to surprised to see me."

"Eh, you're somethin' of a celebrity from what I gather. The girl who made good, y'know."
"oh." Rarity blushed.
"So, what exactly brings you back to town? Kinda' think it's different from my reason."
"Well, why don't you tell me your reason and we can compa-"
"Hold on there 'sugarcube', I've already had mah embarrasin' welcome home party. B'sides..." The orange pony made a quick sidestep as a white and two tone purple missile struck Rarity amidships.

"RARITY!"
"Sweetie Bell! What are you... oh, right... wouldn't be much of a 'Welcome Home' party without." She continued to hug her little sister as a horror of realization struck her. She picked her little sister up and looked her in the eye. "Sweetie, where is Father?"

"Over there, by the punch- Whee!" The smaller unicorn squealed in delight as her older sister rushed through the crush of ponies to avert a disaster she knew was already in progress.

"Heavy Tone, you step away from that punchbowl immediately!"
"Huh, oh, ok. All done Rari-bear. How's my little all grown up smartie-smart doin'?" The poorly hidden bottle by the edge of the table was empty. 'Oh dear, and there's Berry Punch, next in line.' Any further attempts at damage control were subverted when her father picked her up in the bearhug he called affection. She made one last futile wave with her hoof, already knowing it was too late.

It was quite a party, it was just that Rarity felt it might well have doomed the world. 'And it wasn't THAT good a party. Although it was precious watching the green pegasus try to teach Lyra "the song of our people", heh, serves her right for drinking so much punch. But I do pity Bon Bon the next few hours of her life.' Rarity contemplated the situation. 'Maybe "Nightmare Moon" is a kind, reasonable monster out of history who had to be locked away in the moon.' She snorted at her own attempt at optimism. Dabbing her face with a washcloth, she looked anxiously out the window, where she had a prominent view of the full moon.

She reached over to the basket where her adoptive son slept peacefully. 'Of course Father thought it would be fun for him to have a sip of "punch", ooh sometimes he just...' She smiled, because it was better than crying, and really - only those you let into your heart can truly frustrate you to wit's end. "Wakey wakey my little dragon, if we're to attend the end of 'Days' we shall at least do it standing up."

For want of a Battle: part ii

For Want of a Battle

2/5

Shining Armor considered the situation. 'Oh mare, we are so screwed.' Assessment over he looked up in disbelief as not only was the Princess not here, but inky blue smoke with twinkles in it had enveloped the balcony where Her Majesty was supposed to be. 'Oh, it's forming into a pitch black armored Alicorn, with... dragon eyes? Sure, why not? Oh Mare, that laugh has crazy written all over it.'

There was Rainbow 'Trouble', just watching and taking everything in. She ... was holding Hurricane back? The Buck? And of course his sister thought this was a great time to continue her inexplicable feud with the Apples by feeding apples to Orangejack or whoever. Rarity was, as ever, talking - although under the circumstances that reassured him somehow.

"Seize Her!" Shouted the Mayor. 'What? This is obviously a near godlike being and you want to arrest-oh, ouch, they're going to feel that in the morning when they... oh, right, no mornings anymore.' The fact that he wasn't feeling more panicked concerned Shining Armor. 'Oh horseapples, she's doing the cloud thing again, I've got to-'

Twilight stopped trying to keep the mares around her from getting their fool-pony selves killed - especially Miss Apples'nOranges - to stare in horror as her brother tried to cast a Containment Shield Spell on the Goddess of the Night. The way the Nightmare casually struck him down with a fourth lightning bolt was the worst part. No, the way he looked so hopeless, like he'd knew it would happen was the worst - no, the boneless way he flopped over was - there was no NOT WORST part. "Nag Must DIE!" She roared. By the time she had coaxed life back into the dead timber of the meeting hall, the horrible thing had fled like the cowardly Brother Hurting Monster she was.

Diane concentrated on the task in front of her. 'Pulse is regular, no obvious signs of burn, meaning it was more magic than weather. Rest will be the best cure for this. What is Twilight... oh, I didn't know she could do that. Hmm, that's going to cost her, I bet.' The three fillies huddled under the table were none the worse for harm and could provide each other comfort until their parents were able to calm themselves and retrieve the children. Now to see who was still competent enough to help sort this out...

Jackie managed to spit the darn apple out, making a quick apology to her parents for wasting a perfectly good apple - but really it was the stupid... 'Hey, isn't that feller there her brother? If, if somepony did that to Mackintosh I'd...' She shifted from one scowl to another as she reached out and placed out a hoof and placed it firmly on the purple unicorn's shoulder - noting the glow that was dying off from Twilight's eyes. "Hey, I think we've got some flank to kick."

Of course she'd apologized immediately, but 'Mare! Old Fluttershy wouldn't have ever had the nerve to off and kick somepony. It's almost worth getting hit - oww, not really.' She subconsciously put a hoof to her jaw as her grin widened. 'Did I really say nothing ever happened in this sleepy little town? May Celestia herself strike me down for lying - oh, yeah, we gotta go rescue her so she can. Heh, this is what I call a party.'

'Oh, I must have hit her really really harder than as hard as I didn't mean to hit her in the first place. She's doing that thing where she stares off into space again.' Unfortunately there wasn't anything she could do for Rainbow, maybe she could end the entire problem if she could catch the monster now. She leapt to flight and raced out the doors to find that she couldn't see any sign of the evil cloud, although she did see a bright white unicorn running toward the town library. 'Interesting, what do you know that the rest of us don't?'

'Spike, bed. Books, I need lots and lots of books. The answer HAS to be here somewhere. Where did I put that copy of-' The front doors burst open as the crashing Hurricane-shy pony flew in and landed right in front of her. "What do you know about that thing? You knew her name. Are you a Spy?" the Pegasus quizzed her.

"What!? How could I be, no!"
"Oh, darn."
"Wait, what?"

"When I saw you traveling around town today with Celestia's Organizer Stallion I thought maybe you were some kind of tax assessor or something, but when you seemed to know what was going on at the Celebration, I thought maybe there was some special task-force Celestia had organized to fight off big mean monsters."

"We should be so lucky. No, I am a researcher. While researching... other things I came across some very disturbing predictions that simply stopped being discussed in texts some several hundred years ago. The sum result of what I've been able to piece together is the existence of a 'Second Alicorn' whose powers diametrically oppose Celestia's."

"Well, heck, that sounds serious. Can ya' give us all the short version?" Jackie drawled as the other three ponies filed in, Twilight and Jackie carrying Shining Armor as Diane made sure he didn't fall from his precarious perch.

"If I must, I suppose a quick summary might help me compose my thoughts. Here goes: Nightmare Moon used to be tasked with bringing on the night so that Celestia could do more during the day - but the Moon Mare became jealous that everypony preferred the daytime to run and play and generally be awake. Night-mare felt she was being slighted since ponies did nothing but sleep during the night-" Why did the mad blue pegasus have her hoof raised?

"Uh, that's not the only thing Ponies do at night. Or, uh, so I've heard."
"Well dear, when we track Nightmare Moon down again, perhaps you can ask her."

"Oh, question: so was she actually trapped IN the moon, like disembodied, or was she trapped ON the moon as oh, maybe like a cute adorable filly?" Jackie asked.

"Wwhat? First of all what difference does it make, and secondly who would ever do the second? That's just in-equine!" Rarity's tolerance for nonsense was running out.

"You're getting distracted. Goals, weaknesses, and strengths we can anticipate." Diane tried to steer the conversation back to the useful.

"I.Was.Getting.To.That..". *sigh*, "I'm ok, I'm ookaay. We can expect shapeshifting, obviously, from her last performance. She seems to be able to summon bolts of force, although we've only seen her use them and medium range." She fended off another question from Rainbow Dash.

"By which I mean between fifteen and fifty strides, give or take, although I wouldn't bet your life on it." The academic began to pace, finding her stride.

"Celestia can be wounded, so if it comes to it, so probably can the Night-mare. Her goal is as simple as it is insane, she wants to have an eternal night. Within weeks we will fall into a winter that will eventually recreate the crisis of Hearthwarming Eve pageants, but without the touchy-feely solution at the end. Windigos can be banished, thermodynamics is not nearly so forgiving."

"So, short version: if we don't stop her now there is no stopping her, and if she bleeds we can kill her. That right?" Rarity nodded grudgingly at Rainbow Dash. "Ok, let's show this Prehistoric Nag how we do things in this town!"

"And if she doesn't 'bleed'?" Twilight asked, her tone icily quiet. She turned back to Rarity, "She was beaten once before, right? What did they use then?"

"The Elements of Harmony, a powerful artifact of Ponykind that hasn't been seen since. I came here looking for a reference that-"

"Elements of Harmony, a Reference Guide." Diane read from the spine of an aged book.
"How did you-oh, Alphabetic Sorting, right. Thank you, that was very helpful of you. Now, reading."

'Actually I've been reading the name on every binding since you finally decided to tell us something useful but your explanation is obviously more acceptable.'

One recap filled fifteen minute summary later, the six ponies found themselves on the edge of-
"The Everfree Forest?" They all said in hushed tones. Yes, the Everfree Forest, home to a hundred legends and ghost-pony stories, land where plants grew without supervision, animals fed themselves and on each other, and the weather simply happened all by itself.

"Right, I'll scout out the temple-castle thing and be ba-" Fluttershy found herself held by her tail for the second time that night, "um, is this going to be a continuing thing? Because, you know, I could just lift you up into the air and fly with you hanging there - I can do that."

"Just tryin' ta get your attention. Don't split th'party."

"Oh for the love of! Is this another one of those 'we all reinforce the weaknesses we each have' speeches? That's horse-pucky!" Rainbow ranted.

"Why yes, Rainbow Dash, this IS one of those 'We are far stronger as a Team' conversations. Why, are you afraid to trust somepony else to catch you-" 'Brr, twin cold glares.' Rarity found herself unable to continue under the glare of both pegasi.

"Practically speaking, flying above tree level would leave you open to any traps hidden below tree cover, our opponent could see you coming from a great distance, and without any companions, nopony would ever know if anything happened to you. I for one do not approve of throwing away the life of a pony in such a manner." Diane glanced around her, uncomfortable with all the attention she was receiving. "What? It's true."

Nearly a minute went by without anypony saying anything. Twilight was the first to speak, "I've been thinking, and while I'm still really angry, revenge isn't a good reason to do this. I want to take care of this problem because there won't be a world if this goes on. I'm going. What about the rest of you?" She put her hoof out towards them.

A blue hoof gripped purple. "I'm in. I... I owe too many ponies too much to walk away from this."
Fluttershy joined the grip, "If I can do anything to help, I've got to, for everypony."

"The only sensible solution is to solve this dilemma before any lasting damage is done." A pink hoof joined.

"I've seen a fair portion of this world, and even if it weren't worth saving for itself OR my family, what fun is there in a big old ball of ice, I ask you?" Jackie pitched in.

"Can we Please go defeat the monster now? I have ponies I care for and ones that I want to squash, but if any of them dies that all ends." Rarity didn't realize the trap until the hoofmeet transformed into a group hug. 'Argh! Just. Be. Patient... they'll have to start moving eventually!' Rarity slumped to the ground.

"Hey, c'mon Marshmallow, you're slowing us down!" Jackie teased, jumping out of hoofstrike distance and laughing as the group entered the foreboding forest of death with light hearts and steely determination.

Author's Note

As it says above, this chapter (5) has 5 parts

For want of a Battle: part iii

For Want of a Battle

3/5

Nopony could say how long they had been walking, less than a day, more than an hour - probably. The path began veering upwards, offering relief from the endless 'forest' that spoke of jungles, bogs, thickets, and every other tangle of plantlife and animal forms. Each pony was lost in their own thoughts, so six ponies were startled when Jackie spoke, including herself. "Oh no. No way, look at that cliffside there. See how the edge is undercut right there? I may not be an Engineer or a University schooled pony but that don't look like the most stable footing I've ever laid eyes on."

By silent agreement the six cast votes - which is to say everypony but Twilight raised their hoof, so she rolled her eyes and raised hers as well. Progress slowed down as they left the path and made their way through the tangle of tree and brush and vine. Twilight considered the array of plants, comparing and contrasting the vast web of life to Sweet Apple Acres. 'It certainly has a beauty of it's own, and the way these disparate lives look after each other, even while trying to feed on or steal resources from one another. It has a feral grace to it. I certainly don't feel like an active part, but I do feel... tolerated.'

Diane took point, mincing through scrub and brush with a practiced ease, pointing out dangerous plants, hidden predators, and other dangers. Relief from the stress of accidental exposure kept any pony from asking her about her apparent familiarity... for a while. "So, uh Diane, right? How come you... know about this place?" The blue pegasus asked as they reached a wide clearing.

Instead of a verbal answer, Diane raised her hoof to her mouth in a 'shush'ing motion. She pointed to a field of deep red flowers, like a beautiful velvet carpet... until one notice the white tips of a large ribcage sticking up from within the field, like some alien architecture. "Velvet Poppies, their pollen has a powerful sleep agent and is easily jarred loose." Diane spoke in a hushed tone, visibly agitated for the first time most of the ponies had seen. "I'm afraid this path is closed to us."

"We will lose a great deal of time avoiding this, as well as risking getting lost." Rarity growled as quietly as she could.

"No, we are not turning back." Twilight said between clenched teeth. "I... give me a minute, I can get us past this." 'Ok, time to put this talent of mine to the test.' She cleared her mind and reached out to the plants, boxing her concern for her brother as tightly as she could, and ignoring the energy she had already spent earlier.

Jackie clenched her teeth, and gestured at Fluttershy when she looked about to ask what was going on. A noise was heard, a dry, creaking, and slow slithering. Rarity caught the motion first, vines snaking their way from between the trees, passing overhead to cross over one another in a clumsy weaving motion. The vines moved haltingly forward, dipping down, more vines snaking for support on the edges. What was less a bridge and more a funnel formed above the ponies, reaching with agonizing slowness for the other side of the clearing.

The five looked at the one, a purple unicorn aglow, blazing horn nearly incandescent white, sweat drenching her fur as she squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She looked like she was trying to avoid being crushed by great weight. She relaxed, eventually, gasping for breath. Fluttershy and Diane sought to make sure she was unharmed, the other three looked up to behold a tangled web of vines strewn above the field, narrowing as they approached the center gap, to a single vine for a pony's length in the middle.

Diane was first to try the 'bridge', reasoning she was most likely to recognize another threat on the other side. The others watched tensely - groggily in Twilight's case - as the pink pony performed the perilous perambulation. Pausing at the other side, she waved 'all clear' before hopping down out of sight. Next Rainbow Dash made the crossing, using her wings to balance her as she trotted right across the middle stretch, and gave a 'hoofs up' once out of danger. Fluttershy had to restrain the urge to flap her wings, afraid it would stir the deadly pollen below, she made her way, grinding her teeth the whole way. Rarity gestured for Jackie to go next but the earth pony shook her head vigorously.

"R-rarity needs to levitate me across, you need to go first, I don't know how long I can keep the vines in place." Twilight croaked.

'This just keeps gettin' better an' better...' "I thought you already did your magic hokum. Ain't the vines holding themselves up?"

"No, I asked for a favor, this is unnatural for them. I'm having to keep them in place, please, you need to go."

'I can't do it. If it's that tenuous, she could drop it by accident. Heck, she could drop it on purpose and tell the rest she'd tried her darndest.' Jackie shook her head, trying to remove petty doubts, 'I... I know she wouldn't do that, but maybe some little voice from the dark of her mind could distract her, it'd only take a moment of weakness.' Shame and fear warred in her heart.

Twilight grabbed Jackie by both shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "I will Never drop you. Right now... right now my brother is unconscious, hurt, and I can't do a thing for him. When we finish this, I KNOW he'll be ok. But. But if I let anything happen to you, if I deny Apple Bloom her sister, how can I ever face..." tears splashed to the ground "We all have to earn our way home. Please, just, just trust me - you Jackass." The sudden change of tone shocked Jackie out of her internal struggle and she laughed. In the middle of all this insanity, she laughed.

"Ok, I'm going. Not a scratch, you hear?" What had she been afraid of? 'Ol' Goody Four Shoes doesn't have it in her.' She didn't even realize she was across until she saw the horrified expressions on the faces of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Diane didn't look approving, either.

"There's badflank and there's plum crazy, Apple. You could have at least slowed down when you went over the single vine, but Nooo, there you are, chuckling to yourself and trotting like it was the marketplace. What gives?" Rainbow's diatribe was delivered after the ponies concerned were safely on the ground.

Fluttershy touched Jackie's shoulder, "we were both so worried for you, Rainbow couldn't even breathe." The mare in question seemed to still have a problem as she choked on Fluttershy's words.

Two Unicorns were added to the group as Rarity set Twilight on the ground. "Oh no dears, I'm fine and our little druid here is none the worse for her trip - no need to ask." All replies were cut off by the loud snapping noises as vines began to give way overhead. By mutual consent they fled, Jackie scooping Twilight onto her back with a practiced slide. 'Heh, never thought anything good would come from mah' stint as a rodeo clown.'

The grounds having cleared slightly, they kept a good pace, even after Diane and Fluttershy agreed they were safely out of range of the pollen. Perhaps it was the adrenaline, but the ponies were feeling less oppressed by their surroundings and started sharing stories of their lives. "... an then she turns to the old Stallion an' she says 'Honey, this one's eating the popcorn'." They all shared a laugh, "Haa.. and that's why I don't drink Mare-Garitas anymore."

"But the rate of growth would mean-" Twilight was shushed to silence as Diane called for caution. Her warning turned pointless as a roar crashed over the forest. Twelve feet tall, part lion, part bear, draconic wings, and a wicked scorpion tail, the monster smashed a tree out of it's way. It growled as it searched the area, sniffing and snorting, it let loose a titanic growl as it caught sight of the ponies, and advanced on them at an alarming pace.

"That's a Manticore!" Rarity shouted, "They're supposed to be extinct!"

"Try telling that one! I'm sure it'll play dead if you give it a good argument!" Rainbow shouted, pushing the other ponies to move.

Twilight had started another spell, Rarity caught her eye and shook her head. Snatching up some sharp looking rocks, the white unicorn hurled them with as much telekinetic force as she could muster. The ones that didn't bounce harmlessly from the creature's hide gouged holes in the ground and shattered tree branches. It looked like the battle might be won when Fluttershy managed to lift the behemoth off the ground in a tornado, until it flapped it's own wings and sent her careening off.

"Wait, there may be another solution." Diane pleaded. Jackie charged the creature, leaping to headbutt it in the chest, and fell back, stunned herself. The monster was enraged now. Rainbow raced out to pull the earth pony from the path of a pursuing paw lined with sharp claws as long as a pony's leg. "This will not accomplish our goals. Somepony will be hurt."

Twilight lined up with the others for a front on charge when Diane leapt into the middle of the field. "Be thou Still!" She cried, gasping in annoyance. Pony and Manticore alike looked at her as she trotted toward the monster. 'Breathe the air, walk upon the earth, and flow like water.' she repeated to herself. The monster took a swipe at her - at where she had been. Jumping off the back of its paw she continued past the beast, seemingly oblivious to further onslaught, always slightly out of the way, a hair's breadth from destruction. When she was out of range, the creature stopped, nonplussed. She veered off the path and into the brush.

Rainbow Dash's brow went from a sweat of fear to furrowed concentration. 'That technique, I've never seen it before...'

Moments later Diane returned, dragging a mewling mass nearly as large as she was. The creature ... would have been adorable without a razor sharp scorpion tail. The pink pony fled when the Manticore approached, the beast rumbling at a much lower volume. Parent and child reunited, Diane and her friends took their chance to pass unharmed.

Safely past the oversize reunion, Diane turned to her companions, her face a mixture of satisfaction and relief. "I motioned for quiet because I heard a cry of juvenile despair. The beast has not the Mane of a male lion, so I sussed the situation, but had trouble locating the cub with the ... extraneous noise." She scowled at the other ponies who were busy looking elsewhere. "No matter, I am... pleased none of you are harmed, 'The female of the species is the most deadly' after all."

The forest became denser again as the group traveled. They kept up their conversations, at a lower volume, to distract themselves from the feeling of confinement. It had become so dark that Twilight and Rarity had to summon a glow to their horns so the party could see one hoof in front of the other. "So, Diane, I wouldn't have thought poppies would grow normally in this region?" Twilight asked, questions nagging at her as she regained her mystic reserves.

"They would not. When I retrieved the Manticore's cub, it was tied with a black rope I had to cut to free it." She mirrored Twilight's concern.

"So what we feared is the case then? Nightmare Moon is trying to stop us, is setting traps. Well, now that we're sure of it we can be better prepared when next she-Waughah!" Rarity's speech was cut short by a ghastly glowing face that leered from a tree-trunk. Similar screams sounded from all sides as the ponies discovered an entire forest of faces fowl and threatening.

After squeaking once, Diane shook her head in consternation. "Perhaps a song from my childhood will help-"

"Don't waste yer lungs, Sugarcube. They ain't real pretty to look at, but they're not exactly moving in for the kill. If this is the be - nope, not saying that line. Let's just be thankful Nightmare Moon thinks she's dealing with fillies, have a good laugh and be on our way..." Jackie was interrupted in her suggestion by the arrival of another pony, a Unicorn Mare of indeterminate age, of Palest Blue hide with A mane of hair so red it looked black. On her flank was an Inky blue heart with a jagged line through the middle, cutting it into two halves.

"You're General Heartbreaker, of the Lunar Rebellion! But that was eight hundred years ago, there's no way you could be alive! What are you?" Rarity gasped.

Pitiful creatures her voice echoed within the ponies ears without seeming to travel the intervening space. I will give you one chance to submit before I lay waste to the lot of you. A crackling bolt of lime green and Midnight purple struck Fluttershy as she charged. Time's up, wither and die! Black fog enveloped the ponies in the blink of an eye and all fell.

Thus ends a tragic tale of futility.

Thanks for reading! See you again sometime.

Artwork by: Inspired_Light

Applejack looked up at her parents, the strong and noble Good Earth and the wise and skillful Apple Bough and was content. Nearby her brother chased butterflies and laughed, content that nothing in this world could harm him while his parents sat vigil. Granny Smith hummed to herself tunelessly as she pared apples for the delicious pie they would bake that evening. Life was good, everything was simple and kind.

Aunt and Uncle Orange had visited a few days ago, bringing tales of the mysterious big city and good news about new markets for the Apple Family's wares: apples. 'If I lay here, if I just lay here, y'all will lie with me an' just forget the world. If I don't move, nothing will ever change.'

The thought was comforting at first, but it seemed like it was out of place. Of course she couldn't lay here forever, the picnic would be over when the sun started back toward the western part of the sky, then they would return to the harvest. Father said she was old enough to help with the bucking this year. It filled her with pride to think she'd be knocking apples into buckets rather than sorting them or having to use the ladder - she didn't like the ladder, it embarrassed her, reminded her she was too little to do the hard work.

'Daddy never did understand why I wanted to do the hard stuff. He'd say "My little apple, don't be in such a rush to grow up. There'll be time enough for that when you're older".' There it was again, that thought like a tickle at the back of her brain. She shook her head to try and clear it. Her mother looked down, amusement tinged with concern. "Jaquelin honey-child, are you ok? I do hope nothing is upsetting you, we don't want you running away again now do we?" 'Run away? I hadn't ever done that at this age... what?'

Applejack stood up, unsure on her much shorter legs. Legs she had outgrown years - no, stop it! She fought against the alien thoughts. 'You stop messin with my head, you hear?' "Oh, ah do think our little Dumplin's being a Bad Pony." Good Earth's deep and even tones were off-key, twisted somehow, a tone of snark he had never used in life present.

"You, you're not real. You are Not my parents!" She stood up.
"Oh my, what a terrible thing to say, you're right Honeycrisp, she IS a Bad Pony..."
"Stop this!" She stomped to demonstrate her frustration.

"Little filly, do you know what Bad Ponies get?" The two figures leered at her, seeming to grow in height.

"I'd really like ta' wake up now, brain!" Her eyes crossed as she tried to address her inner self.

"Dead Parents!" Shouted the Impostors in unison, flesh melting and tissue bubbling as they dissolved to nothing.

She screamed. Jackie Screamed, in horror, then in anger, and last to hold onto control of something as the pressure built again, worse than ever before. "None of you are real! I know who I am!"

"They might not be, but I am!" 'Oh no, no You Do NOT GET TO DO THAT!' Jackie's mind raced as she heard Apple Bloom's voice. "First you run off and abandon me, of course you Blame me for Momma's death - way to go blaming a foal, by the way - and then you torture me my whole life by sending just enough letters to remind me I have a sister I never get to see. I finally manage to get a replacement, heck a better sister, one who can teach me things and make sure I get a good schooling and a real future, and what do you do? You beat the living tar out of her! Do you just want me to be miserable? Is that what this is all about!?" The apparition's eyes filled with tears, hurt and rage and terrible terrible hope mixing like the cement of despair.

Jackie couldn't help it, she scooped the filly up and squeezed her tightly against herself. "Thank you 'bloom." she whispered.

"So you're mentally retarded too? I'm telling you that you do nothing but ruin my life!"

"Thank you so much for sending that letter. I-I don't think I was strong enough to come see you, on my own. I will never forget that you did that. An' I'm sorry I got mad at Twilight, we 'bin patching things up. And, for what it's worth? I'm sorry."

"What are you?-" The apparition turned to ash and faded as the entire scene faded to white and was replaced by an almost pitch black forest, only illuminated by cruelly grinning faces on gnarled trees.

All around her, her friends lay sprawled on the ground, limbs twitching as their own nightmare scenarios played out. "You made a mistake there, Missy." Jackie glared at the Unicorn, Heartbreaker. "Gonna be your last, I have anything to say about it." Jackie checked that her saddlebags, relieved to see she still had them, 'of course I still have them, that Nag thinks her magic will beat anything. She didn't count on a Pony who can run from anything, even her own guilt.' "Now, I'm disappointed with your service, Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask to see your manager."

The Night General roared in anger, firing off a volley of purple and green bolts. Jackie ducked and dodged through the trees, laughing at the unicorn's attempts to kill her or put her back to sleep. Chasing after the earth pony, Hearbreaker began to hear twanging noises and a sound like wires being tightened. Heedless, she charged forth. It took her a moment to realize she had lost sight of her quarry, and she snorted in rage as she searched for the mare.

From the trees, the sounds of a guitar floated down. Strum strum, pause, strum, pause strum strum...
"Buck it!"

Jackie leapt down in front of Twilight, and began shouting in her ear. "You wake up late for school Mare you don't wanna go, You ask you mom, 'Please?' but she still says, 'No!' You missed two classes, and no homework; but your teacher preaches class like you're some kind of jerk. You gotta fight for your right to party!" The guitar bucked and wailed like a living animal.

Rolling over to Rainbow Dash she poked the pegasus in the side of the head, "You pops caught you smoking and he said, 'No way!' That hypocrite smokes two packs a day. Man, living at home is such a drag. Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Busted!) You gotta fight for your right to party!" Squealing reverb filled the forest, the Night Unicorn couldn't seem to concentrate.

Jackie slid between Rarity and Fluttershy, laughing between verses like a madmare. "Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear! I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair!" Eyes began opening as the spell lost it's strength.

She stood directly over Diane and Screamed in her ears, "Your mom busted in and said, 'What's that noise?' Aw, mom you're just jealous of the Girls and Boys! You gotta fight for your right to party!" Jackie whipped her head around to see her friends awake, if confused. "C'mon, y'all, sing it with me: PARRTAY!" They echoed it back to her without questioning what was going on.

General Heartbreaker screamed in rage as her body dissolved into white light and vanished in a flash, leaving behind a grove of stunted and gnarly trees, without faces. "And that, girls, is how you defeat a Tartarus-Spawn Pony of darkness!" Jackie gasped, her exertion catching up with her. The others pulled her up onto their backs.

Rainbow Dash turned her head to glare at Jackie, "you do realize I've never looked at porn, right?"
"Sugarcube, it's a lyric. Don't pay it no mind. B'sides, woke you up, didn't it? If the shoe fits..."
They strode forward, laughing.

Eventually they had to let Jackie get down. 'Nothin' quite so embarrassing as being carried, is there?' Ponies continued making bad jokes, however, and so the laughs continued. Right up to the edge of a raging river of rapids. Sight of the swirling swells slowed the ponies in front, who had no time to warn those behind them. After sorting themselves out of the inevitable pony-pile-up, the band looked at the river.

"Uh, this part is flat, why is it so turbulent?" Fluttershy pondered.
"Perhaps there are some underground volcanic vents?" Rarity considered.
"We'd smell the sulfur, or at least feel the steam if that were the case." Twilight countered.
"Perhaps we can ask that large serpent over there, flailing around, crying." Diane deadpanned.

Indeed, there was a massive purple... River Serpent? It was long and sinuous with an outrageous coif of orange hair that could have hidden a family of deer and had room left over for a bear. A maw as long as a cart was draped with further orange and water flew everywhere from tears and river water.

Jackie stepped forward, ready to talk their way across. "Uh, begging your pardon, Sir? What's, uh, why are you cryin'?"
The serpent stopped his thrashing to ponder... ponies? "Oh, I don't know, maybe because of... This!" he gestured to the right side of his massive mustache which ended raggedly and unevenly in a mess of cut hair.

"Come again?" Jackie asked, jaw agape.
"Really, you are raging and making this river impassable because of a mustache?" Diane couldn't even summon the placid calm she usually displayed - this was just plain stupid.

"So much swag, ruined by one errant cut. I tell you, this will not stand. Do you hear me!? THIS WILL NOT STAND!" Rainbow leapt onto the serpent's neck climbing by hoof and wing, flapping madly and flailing into her saddlebags as she yelled. The serpent quailed as she landed on his snout, wielding what for her were a large pair of hedge clippers. "Justice shall prevail!" She cried, diving at the mustache.

Nopony could look, the screams and piteous cries suggested a slaughter on a scale no pony should be capable of. Fluttershy wept to think her oldest friend had finally gone off the deep end - the least she could do is end this quickly, she steeled her nerves and turned to behold... A River Serpent with a very stylish short mustache and a... Rainbow colored rope necklace. "R-rainbow? Dash, what did you... oh my." There was Dash, but there was no rainbow to speak on, her head was bare and her tail was perhaps three inches.

"So, I can have a set of 'shades' fashioned for you in, oh, I'd say a week, probably get them barged down her to 'ya - trust me, the shades'll seal the deal. You'll look like a swinging private detective."

"Hmm... not my usual style but I think I can..." the serpent processed what his minute maniac stylist had said. "Moi? Oh I don't think so. Magnet P.I.? Well, maybe... but thank you SO much! I just didn't know what to do. You ponies want to cross the river? Allow me, by all means!" The grateful beast extended his lizardly length across the river as the ponies hopped from hump to hump.

Fluttershy reached out-and Rarity tackled Rainbow, crying at the pegasus's personal sacrifice. "Oh dear, your beautiful Mane! How could you bear to part with it?"

"Uh, not really that big a deal. I was growing it out so I could cut it and donate it to the Chemo-pony Society, they can blend my mane to match a lot of unfortunate ponys' original colors. I do it all the time, just figured the fella needed something with a little flash to pick him up, right?"

Rarity schooled her face to hide her absolute disbelief as she helped the pegasus up. "Well in any case, I think it was a noble sacrifice. Also, your crochet technique is amazing, what's your secret?"

"Eh, just use my wings, the flight feathers can catch and pull four rings at a time. Thanks though." The pegasus trotted forward as the group continued.

Fluttershy flew back over the gorge after repairing the rope-bridge, smiling. "I think we're close, Nightmare Moon's attempt on me wasn't even worth mentioning." From the pony's mouth, truth flows.

"I think we've had about enough of being on the defensive. I'm calling a planning huddle." Rarity spoke as the group gathered around her. "Now, before we start this, I think it's obvious we're being spied on so I'm going to cast a spell to protect us from scrying until we move again

...

…

Author's Note

...

For want of a Battle: part iv

For Want of a Battle

4/5

...

Six ponies set forth with renewed determination, feeling that their goal was now close. Over the next rise they espied crumbling ruins, a large open room and a stunted tower remained standing; littered wreckage all that was left of the rest, covered in moss, grass, and vines.

"This must be the ancient 'Castle of the Pony Sisters'." Rarity said, feeling a touch of awe at finding such an artifact of Equestrian history just lying here... in the middle of an inhospitable jungle, guarded by monstrous beasts and cruel weather. 'Maybe... it's not so surprising nopony has ever tried to reclaim our history. I'll worry about history when we have a future again.'

"Royal Pony 'Sisters'? Who the hay were they?" Rainbow asked, trying to recreate the original structure in her mind.
"I'm not really sure, they're only referenced in the really ancient texts, the ones we have no complete copies of." 'Thanks again, your majesty, you've managed to make our own past a mystery to us. Oh, we could just ask you but Who would be Rude enough to Bother the Princess?' She rolled her eyes, 'Things were going to be different in the future, ohh yes they are.'

Fluttershy looked at the ruins, which seemed sad and lonely to her. 'Ponies used to frolic here, what happened?' "Well, what do you think of it, Diane?" She hadn't said more than four words to the odd pink pony. Not directly, anyway.

"I think this building should be condemned, there's serious weather fatigue in all the load-bearing stone columns, and... what?"

"I meant, can you believe there used to be a castle here?"
"I can believe twelve other impossible things in a day, why?"
"I... nevermind." 'Confound these ponies...'

"Hey, what about that weird thing up there?" Rainbow pointed to the abstract sculpture in the center of the courtyard, five spheres suspended in corroded metal cups radiating from a spherical central structure.

"I... ok, yes those are the items in question, but-"
"You said: you said 'Well, Rainbow Dash'," The pony in question put on her best 'high society snooty snoot' accent to imitate the increasingly irritated unicorn," 'if you FIND an artifact you can have a say in naming it.' And I did, so now you gotta-"

"There is absolutely no way I am calling the Elements of Harmony-"
"I think you mean the 'Flashworks Elements of Harmony', don't you?"
"This is an important piece of our history, you little twit! How can you expect me to-"
"Oh, Mare, you should see the look on your face. I'm just Buck'in with ya, I don't want you to rename 'em."
"Uh, 'scuse me? What do you mean, 'Buck'? That's what mah family does for a livin' an I don't appreciate you using it like a dirty word." Jackie pressed her face up against Rainbow Dash, glaring her in the eyes.

Rainbow backpedaled quickly, "Whoa, hay. I-I didn't mean it like-"
"Pfft! We use it that way all th' time, 'kin we get back to 'Saving the World' now?" Jackie made airhooves.

Twilight walked over to where the pegasi had piled the five spheres. "Ok, Rarity, we've found them, how do we use them?"

Rarity looked at the stones, unsure but unwilling to admit it. "The book said... that a 'spark' would reveal the last element. They were obviously referring to 'Magic' but I'm not sure... Well, leave it to me dear." Twilight prepared to speak, "Oh heavens, please don't offer to help me - that came out wrong - You are still recovering from your ... impressive display earlier, I couldn't conscience you getting hurt straining yourself. Please, this is what I do." 'Oh good, that mollified her. Huh, it certainly has been a while since I was genuinely worried about hurting somepony's feelings. I really hope I know what I'm doing...'

"Ok, Rarity's got the magic angle covered girls, let's give her some space so she can concent-"
"What on earth are you doing!? No, don't leave me here unguarded!" Rarity shouted, halting the retreating ponies, "Certainly, stay over by the walls there. But, really? Why would we set up a scenario where..."

A black wind began to rise from around the stones, swirling and gaining solidity as the stone spheres lifted from the ground and an eerie blue glow began to-

With a loud crash the magic cyclone burst apart as a flash of yellow and pink dived into it in a sharp counter-rotation. The spheres dropped back to the ground and the Nightmare hit the ground, far more surprised than injured. Surprise gave way to anger quickly. "How Darest Thou! To Strike Royalty Tis Punishable By Death!" Her mane crackled with raging arcane power.

"Nightmare Moon, mistress of darkness... we need to talk." Rarity said, holding one of the stone spheres in a hoof.
"FOAL, the time for talk will come when I descend upon you in vengeance and you beg for mercy."
"No, no, I'm quite fine here, your majesty. This is your court, after all, isn't it?"
"Thou seekest to use the Elements of Harmony 'pon us and then hast the temerity to beg Parley?"
"I can see I don't have your full attention, allow me to - oof! Fix that!" Rarity raised the stone above her head, both forehooves pulled back as far as they would reach.

Nighmare Moon looked on in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"
"Hiiya!" The white unicorn brought the mystical artifact down on it's other pieces, causing them to shatter into hundreds of tiny shards. "Sister, you have the wrong pony for humor." Rarity deadpanned.

"What is the meaning of this!? Dost Thee Seek to serve the Court of the Night?" The Lunar Mare was taken aback, she hadn't expected many to serve her voluntarily. This was a good sign, perhaps she could afford some leniency-

"No."
"NO?" Did the Nightmare seem... hurt?
"First of all, may I be the first to welcome you back to Equestria, princess of the moon." She gestured to the others, who had gathered at the edges, to come forward.

"y-your Majesty..." Twilight nearly choked on her tongue, biting back the bile she felt. 'This is for the best, we discussed this... But you make one move, ONE MOVE and I will tree you so hard you'll be spitting bark for the Next millennium.' "you, you have hurt my family and after this is over we're going to discuss that, but for now I... extend the same courtesy to you that I would to anypony who had been away from their home for so long."

"Ah kin understand feeling unappreciated when you return to a place you felt a part of an nopony wants to see you. Uh, your Highnessness."

"Ok, the armor's cool. You could work on the attitude though, seriously, but... welcome home Princess."
"We don't want to fight you, your Majesty, we just want what's best for everypony. Please accept our welcome."
"Welcome back. A thousand years is a long time, your highness, you might want to see what your subjects are like now before continuing... old policies."

The Nightmare was torn. Fealty of any stripe was a gift rarely offered her, but their obvious disrespect, their open defiance of her Glorious Eternal Night... some discipline was in order. "Who dost thou believe thyselves to be that thou may speak as such to Pony Royalty!?"

"Oh, we are but the new Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, your Majesty. You didn't REALLY think that hunks of rock could represent peace, love and tolerance, did you?" 'Don't smirk, for the love of all you hold dear, do not bait this one...'

"Twilight Sparkle, who used her powers to find a long lost sister even when she feared she would lose her home and friends represents the spirit of: Honesty"

"Diane Pie, who seeks to heal the sick and aid the weak while shunning personal recognition represents the spirit of: Kindness."

"Err.. Apple... Jackie... Orange who is able to find humor in adversity and sacrifices her own pride for the feelings of others represents the spirit of: Laughter ... don't ask."

"Rainbow Dash who continuously seeks to sacrifice her possessions, time, and energies to aid others - in what I can only assume is some sort of guilt triggered psychosis-"

"Can we skip the commentary, please?" Rainbow growled.

"-just sayin'. Represents the spirit of: Generosity."

"And 'Hurricane' Fluttershy whose single-minded devotion to the welfare of others leaves her as the only qualified candidate to be the spirit of: Loyalty."

"JOKING, THAT is What You're Doing, Correct? I... I can almost comprehend it. Thou hast not even named the sixth element."
"I was getting to that, but I don't really know how to explain-"

"Rarity Bell, loving sister and daughter," Twilight offered.
"Adoptive Mommy to a cute little dragon." Fluttershy added.
"Responsible adult who takes her obligations seriously," Diane muttered.
"A no-horseapples Mare you don't want to Buck with" Rainbow Dash quipped.
"A pony who sees her chances and is brave enough to take them," Jackie finished.

"I... is that really how you all see me?" The five nodded, smiling. "Those are probably the nicest, if most haphazard, things anyponies have ever said about me..." 'I'm not going to cry. Rarity Bell, you are not going to... oh darn it all.'

"SILENCE! WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! Bow To Your Princess of the Night and be spared, defy me and be OBLITERATED! WE WILL Have Respect Or We Will Inspire Terror!"

"Ok, I've had enough of this. Princess Nightmare Moon, if you expect us to respect you, the first thing you need to do is stop throwing a tantrum. The second thing you must do is demonstrate that you deserve 'respect' by providing some yourself." Diane said her peace, waiting to be atomized afterwards.

Luck was with the pink pony and the Enraged Goddess was so angry she preferred shouting to smiting at this point. "ENOUGH I SAY, AGAIN! Thou sound'st like our Overbearing Sister!"

Six ponies stopped whatever backup plans they were preparing to stare anew at the Nightmare. As one voice they spoke, "SISTER!?"

"Thou art greater Foals than I had dared expect! Of course the superfluous Celestia is our sister."
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!? This whole mess is some ... what, Goddess-sized version of a sibling spat? Do you realize how many ponies you've hurt in the process?" Twilight Sparkle had had enough. 'Enough and too much.' "I bet you have some stupid idea that by putting out the Sun you're going to 'force' ponies to love the night. Is that about right!?"

"When thou speakest it, it sounds less divine, but-"
"Yeah, well, news flash - Diane was right, things change! I for one always loved stargazing, of course you've just ruined that for me - any time I look at the Night Sky I'm going to see your stupid - stupid star hair!"

"Don't forget dance clubs, Sugarcube. Yeah, whole scene of dancin' that only starts after the Sun has set, lots of singing, ponies meeting friends and sometimes findin' somepony to go home with, if ya catch mah drift."

"S-such things are... such things are to be expected, and will continue under my reign."
"Nah, see, that's where you're wrong ... Princess. If it's always night, then there's nothing special about it. If there's nothing special about it, then what's there to celebrate?" Rainbow asked lazily.

"You see not, the Night is dwarfed by the Day! To truly flourish it must be-"
"Nothing flourishes in isolation. I... my entire childhood was spent around rocks. And yet, I learn of you and see a pony who was confined to a single rock. I'm so sorry, whatever you did, whatever you wanted to do, nopony deserves that." Diane let tears fall as they would, approaching the Mare of the Night.

"Urchin! K-keep thy distance, We warn but once!" They were converging from all sides now.
"You made your own sister hurt you, how that must have burned." Twilight tried to imagine doing something similar, her mind rebelled.

"F-for a thousand years... all you could do is watch," Fluttershy considered it and shuddered.
They just kept getting closer. "What do you WANT from us!? STAY BACK!" Nightmare Moon struck out at the pink one, who was almost breathing on her. She fell back, bouncing once, picked herself up, and trotted back again.

"You're going to... your ambitions are going to hurt a lot of ponies, and I don't think you're strong enough to survive the guilt... please, let us help you." Rainbow Dash begged.

"You wish to... if you wish to serve, STAY BACK!"
The unicorn, the white one, actually put hooves upon her! "Shhh... hush now, we don't need to shout at the ponies, let it out..." Rarity called on every technique she had ever used caring for her sister and Heathspike.

One by one the ponies held the Princess, surrounding her, making escape impossible. Her own powers seemed to betray her, her agitation so great she couldn't even dissipate to smoke. One final scream of rage and frustration and pain escaped her, and the six completed their circular group hug.

And then, the world exploded.

For want of a Battle: part v

For Want of a Battle

5/5

Timber-Wolves snarled in frustration, luminescent purple blocking their path. Behind them a patch of the night sky prowled upon paws, snarling with violet eyes that threatened a swift end to any ponies caught.

Shining Armor considered the situation, Oh Mare, we are so... why do I have this sense of DejaVu? Ack, he's slipping!' "Mr. Apple, stay with me ok? The Doctor's got-"

"Mr. ... augha, Mr. Apple was mah Father. You-I think you 'kin call me Big Mac bah now."
"That's funny, I thought your Dad's name was 'Mud'."
The red stallion's eyes were fully open now. "I oughta whup yer hide you stuck-up sonnofa... ugh."
"You've got to live to kick my flank, Mac. C'mon, I think I see..." 'No... it's impossible...'
"What, what? Hey, city boy, some of us don't have a good viewing angle right now. What do you see..."
"I-I think it's the sun. By Celestia's hairdresser, I think it's the feathering Sun."
"Eyup."

They awoke, piled on the floor. Blue, pink, yellow, purple, violet, orange, and white.

The pink one contemplated her last waking vision, a rainbow swirl of colors as she desperately held onto the screaming princess. A mass of confusing emotions roiled within her, wonder at the beauty of the colors, horror at the seeming explosion of the night pony, and relief at not being covered in blood upon waking. Her hair was oddly curled and her mouth wouldn't stop curling upward at the edges. 'Stop that, I'll address these feelings later but there's work to be done.' Her hair relaxed, but her mouth retained a certain curve that was starting to feel sore.

"Legs, hooves, wings, horns, tails. Count your own and check the pony next to you, I want to know what treatment is needed ASAP." She barked, turning in a circle to check herself.

Once the ponies were satisfied that all the limbs were in correct order and number, they set to counting ponies - only to be distracted when - "Uh, Rainbow, when'd you switch hairstyles. Come to think of it, when'd you get your hair back?"

"What are you... what the hay!?" Rainbow Dash's mane was back, with a vengeance, reaching nearly to the floor, with the end curling into a tight spiral. A momen't inspection revealed her tail had regrown again as well, now set in a loose corkscrew. 'Mane, that is so impractical. Now I've got to get it cut again.'

"Well, you do look fabulous, darling." Rarity was slightly unnerved by how similar the style was to her childhood affectation. 'I'm sure it doesn't mean anything.'

Something nagged at Twilight, "How many unicorns did we start with? I thought it was two."
"Uh, yes dear, you and me why... h-hello, who are you?" Rarity asked the smoky blue-violet unicorn.
She seemed confused by the question, "ah, we art named Luna. Humbly do we thank you all."
Fluttershy felt confused, "uh, Rarity? That's an extra pegasus, unicorns have horns - not wings."
"Th-that's because w-I am-"
"Nope, pretty sure that's a horn there." Twilight said, gesturing at the object in question.
"Yeah? Well that's a wing right there." Rainbow Dash pointed, her other hoof holding her hair out of her eyes.
"That is to say, this can all be explained simply. I-"

Jackie looked around, "anypony noticed it's getting brighter? Thought I saw something in the tower a minute ago..."

"We Art Princess Luna, Princess of the Night. And We Art... I am grateful to you all for freeing me from my..." she was unable to finish the sentence before she found herself swamped in ponies for the second time in one night.

Finally free of the lurking terror of destruction, ponies laughed and cried freely. Each introduced themselves to the new pony - and they treated her as such, as a potential long-lost friend. In fact, Celestia's arrival went unnoticed. She even had to clear her throat dramatically. The response was equal parts obeisance and defensive formation around Luna, a message of concern at the Solar Princess's potential reaction. It was all she could do not to laugh at the poor dears, which would not have been appropriate under the circumstances.

"Well done, oh true and faithful band of friends, well done my little ponies. This is my sister, as I have not seen her in a thousand years, and you have my gratitude. Please, let me speak with her." They parted, however reluctantly. "Princess Luna, we were meant to rule together. Will you accept my friendship as well?" She knelt, feeling as vulnerable and powerless as a foal.

"I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!" Luna nuzzled her long lost sibling.

Tears running down her cheeks, Diane's mouth curved up again. 'Oh, that's how it works.'
Wiping her eyes, Jackie spoke up, "This is great and all, but can we get back to civilization, please?" So they went home.

The six ponies entered town first, ostensibly to prepare Ponyville for a Royal Arrival and Announcement. Everypony knew the real reason was so they could each check on their family and friends to relieve their lingering fears.

At Sweet Apple Acres, Jackie and Twilight found their brothers, as well as the Royal Guard Pegasi, sharing the Apple Family's 'reserve stock' of cider. Big Mackintosh's ribs were bandaged and Shining Armor sported a black eye he seemed proud of. The wounds came with a story of an attack by Timber Wolves led by a creature Twilight identified as a Canis Minor. The two seemed to be the worst injuries in town and the guards were relieved to be sent back to see to the princess.

Rarity managed to embrace Spike, Sweetie, Her Mother and Father all at the same time. They couldn't get her to stop crying, though. 'I don't think I'm ever letting any of you out of my sight again. I can't go back to Canterlot like this. Maybe I can... yes.' She began writing a letter, pausing briefly to make sure her favorite ponies were still there on occasion.

The entire Weather Team intercepted Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, lifting them off the ground and parading them around. They laughed, they cried, and they tried to make Fluttershy promise she wouldn't run off into danger without them again. She smiled and politely refused to promise any such thing, the best they got was "I'll make whatever I feel is the best judgement at the time.", which in truth was more than she usually acceded to.

Rainbow Dash tried to make her escape, but her yellow friend wouldn't let her. "You deserve this at least as much as I do... oh, will you please stop crying? Please, you're going to make me... darn it."

Ponies reported sightings of a pink blur around town, sometimes crossing its own path. Every elderly, infirm, and sick pony received a surprise visit from the local healer. She was respectful, precise, and perhaps a little gentler than usual. 'Y'know, you're only putting off the inevitable. We're not going away.' 'You will be quiet while I work. When I am through I certainly have a few things to say to you.'

It took was hours before everything had been sorted out. Ponies threw themselves into the celebration in a frenzy born of relief. Everypony wanted to see the Sun Princess and the New Princess, and the brave band of locals who had... nopony was entirely clear on what their part was, but the Princesses seemed grateful and that implied heroic deeds.

The Apples were still in town, leaving Jackie awash in a sea of ponies, laughing and trading quips with her extended family as Granny Smith ran them by with ruthless efficiency. Mackintosh was allowed to rest quietly to the side, exchanging dignified nods with his cousins. Apple Bloom ran back and forth with abandon, constantly underhoof with the orange filly she had met at the celebration.

The Bells embraced their missing sister/daughter and anypony who got too close. Heavy Tone went on to shake the hoof of and hug the other heroines. If his loving wife, Clarity Bell, hadn't caught him by his shirt collar he probably would have tried to bear hug Royalty too. Sweetie couldn't stop hopping around laughing, Spike trailing her, holding a golden tiara over his head and making whooshing noises. Rarity was lost in thought, but made an effort to respond whenever she noticed being addressed. 'There's so much, I don't know where to start.'

Every remaining pegasus in Ponyville lined up to congratulate Weather Captain Fluttershy on her obvious heroism. She nearly went catatonic, 'you can do this, it helps them feel safe. They're all happy to see you. You can do this Fluttershy...' The look of pride her flight school friends gave her helped a great deal. A brown earth pony in the line nonchalantly asked her for an autograph, "you know, b-before they become a collector's item yeah? It's... fascinating this way, don't you think?" 'Where have I-oh, he's gone again. He seems to do a lot of running.'

Diane refused to stay at the gathering, "There's no way Ponyville General has the capacity for all the bumps, bruises, and complications that must have cropped up. I'll be back as soon as I've seen the extent, cross my heart by Earth and Sky." She trotted away, and was back fifteen minutes later. A grayish purple unicorn filly stopped her and gave her a noisemaker which she accepted with some confusion. After asking Rainbow Dash for instruction, she tried it. Her ears went back and she dropped it in surprise. She blushed as the surrounding ponies laughed good naturedly. "Hmm... this will take practice."

"What, using a horn?" Rainbow asked.
"No, being happy."
"Diane, that was so random ... sorry, that just sounded weird, forget I said anything. We should hang out sometime though ... without the horrible monsters and possible end of the world."

'Let's see, sharp intake of breath, shake the diaphram rapidly while exhaling in short bursts... ' The pink pony chuckled, awkwardly.

"Whoa, I didn't think you had a sense of humor. I must be even more awesome than ... I'm glad you feel like you can do that around us, laugh, I mean."

'It would seem we all have holes to fill. Together, it doesn't seem to matter as much.' She tried smiling again, it was getting easier with practice.

After getting an 'all clear' from Diane, Shining Armor was under an assault of affection from his sister. Both tried to apologize for failing to adequately protect each other, when that failed they both tried criticizing the other for recklessly endangering themselves and leaving the other to worry about them. In the end they simply smiled. Twilight's question was so casual Shining Armor almost missed it, "So, BBBFF, what's this I hear about you having a Marefriend... anypony I know?"

"Uh... funny you should ask, heh." 'Seriously, what is up with these Mares? They seem good for Twiley though.'

All good things must come to an end, and after the party was over, after the streamers had been swept up, the food containers dealt with, and the ponies stumbled their way -mostly- to their respective homes, the six and the two found themselves alone. Granted there were some six guards and a captain and a stray older brother who was taking a while getting up and moseying home, but close enough. The quiet stretched comfortably.

Before it could become uncomfortable, Celestia spoke, "You must all be pleased this adventure is over, and you can all return to your normal lives." She smiled benevolently at them.

Rarity cleared her throat, perhaps a little strongly, "Actually, your Majesty, I have a few things to say before we restore 'normalcy' as it were. First of all, I have already begun work to start an archaeological expedition to recover what history we can piece together from the ruins of the 'Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters'. I trust neither of you have any complaints on that count?" both Princesses shook their heads. "Good, that was the easy part. Princess Celestia, my liege and truly a pony to be admired, understand I speak with all possible respect when I say: How Dare You!" Everypony present was taken aback. The guards started forward before the Solar Princess waved them off.

'Where are you going with this, my little pony?' It had been centuries since she had genuinely been challenged. She liked to believe that was because she had discovered benevolence, but nothing goes unchallenged and remains uncorrupted - so she listened. "How dare I what, Assistant Professor Rarity Bell, of Canterlot Central University's Historical, Archaeological, and Arcane Research Department? How dare I what?" was there just the hint of threat there?

Daunted but unbowed, Rarity proceeded. "How dare you intentionally keep us in the dark about the threat of Nightmare Moon, how dare you allow enough history to be forgotten that the existence of a second alicorn... Twilight, is something wrong?"

"Um, my foalsitter was an alicorn - that is to say she had a horn and wings. I-I was a foal, I didn't think anything of it, I just knew she was special to me and I didn't see why she shouldn't just be special in general, too." She glanced sidelong at her brother, who was being suspiciously quiet. 'That's going to bear investigating, assuming Rare doesn't get us all banished, locked in a dungeon in the place where we're banished, and forced to re-take magic kindergarten.' She moved next to the white unicorn despite her fears.

"... this is exactly what I'm talking about! Secrets, everywhere! Are you ever going to let the public know about the Dweomer Failure? What other ancient threats are hidden under rocks? WHAT AREN'T You telling us!?" She was working herself into a state of frenzy. Her friends all gathered around her, Diane placed a hoof on her neck and nodded. "Can't you trust us, Princess? Haven't we proven we'll do anything to protect our Homeland?"

Princess Celestia sighed, and for a moment it was possible to believe this was a creature that had lived for longer than a millennium, who had accepted responsibility for a nation, watched their children grow and die of old age only to be replaced in turn, all the while knowing her own closest kin was near enough to be seen but never felt. "I have entrusted you with my life, the welfare of my sister, and the fate of my country. I will never make you endure more than I know you can handle, whether you believe it or not. The elements, like your Cutie Marks, could not be explained before you reached the realization on your own. If you had known Nightmare Moon was my sister you would have hesitated to stop her. If you had known Nightmare Moon was coming, you would have destroyed her."

She glanced at her sister, who shuddered but nodded. "I allowed Nightmare Moon to be swallowed by history for two reasons. The benevolent reason is that ponies living in fear are... always afraid, and become tractable to those selfish enough to find... levers." She indulged a speculative glance at the ivory unicorn, who was looking slightly green. "My other reason is entirely selfish, if most of ponykind knew of Luna's full history, she would be facing a much harder time being accepted by them again. I have preserved copies of all the ancient records, and they will be released-when I feel Luna is ready for the outcry they will cause."

'Oh, you magnificent Nag. Not only is there nothing I can say to that, but now I have to deal with my own actions before I can pursue this again. Truly you would have made an excellent teacher.' Rarity paused to consider the ponies she had hurt over the years, in defense, in anger, rarely in spite, and never for personal gain. That didn't justify her actions, and she had felt more... even since the 'Harmonization'. 'Very well, I accept your implied challenge. I will make amends with every pony that I have hurt that I possibly can. Even... oh no.'

Jackie noticed the blood draining from Rarity's face first, "Hey, hey Rare? You okay?"
"Oh, no. Nonono... of all the worst things, this is the. Worst. Possible. Thing!" her pupils shrank to pinpricks.
Ponies fought against panic, Fluttershy pressed the question, "What. Rarity, what is it!?"
"I... I think I need to apologize to... to... Prince Blueblood!" She felt ill.

All the tension ran out of the meeting. Princess Celestia promised to correspond with the group of friends and explain more of coming events and made her escape, taking the Guard and Guard Captain with her. The group began chatting amongst themselves, getting to know these strange, wonderful, ponies they now found themselves tied to. As the sun progressed - somewhat faster than usual, to make up for the long night - Rarity had a thought and dragged everypony to the train station, sending Fluttershy to retrieve Spike, Sweetie Bell, and Applebloom.

Night fell in Canterlot. One house on the edge of town was open but nearly empty. A despondent unicorn shared a strained smile with her two friends. "Moondancer... supposes it was silly to think anypony would even remember-" Loud knocking came from the front door. She flew over and opened it to find six mares, three fillies, and a baby dragon standing on the other side. "Wh-"

"Oh Moondancer dear, please tell me you didn't cancel? I told you I'd be here if the world didn't end. You... do have room for a few of my friends, don't you?"

Rainbow Dash fiddled with the lump of gold around her neck as the others fiddled with the 'Ponioke' machine. "Hey, does anypony else have on jewelry they don't remember owning?"

To be continued in 'A minor variation, Chapter 6: For want of a War'.

Author's Note

This is a self-contained story, and while I encourage you to read the other fifteen chapters - they really comprise the sequel/continuation of this story more than an integral part of it.

Well, hindsight is 20/20, or so everyone says :unsuresweetie: And I didn't figure that out until I was too far into the story to fix it :twilightoops:

For completeness I'll include my original author's note:

We are not finished, but I feel this is a good time to converse with you oh Continuing Reader. First, thank you for taking this trip with me. We're roughly halfway through the story as I have it planned. That plan changes from day to day, and the Characters don't always agree with me where we're headed.

I started writing this during a very stressful point in my life. Fifteen days later sanity is slowly returning to my life and I find myself on top of a story some fifty thousand words long and not finished yet. I have never had creativity flow so freely before, it's a torrent I can barely grasp and shape before it spills forth.

The next Chapter is not the next thing I'm going to write, because there is the story, and there is what happens in between. I have a few scenes that fit nowhere else but help illuminate the story that I will include in an 'Extras' chapter, and I want to document the lives and changes in our heroines before their next great trial - call it 'A Variant Season', that's what I plan to do. When we've gawked at their personal lives as much as seems decent we will continue forward.

Please stay with me on this journey, I may stumble but I will not falter, and I will do my best not to disappoint you. Thank you again, you all shine so bright...

Omake: For want of Karaoke

[This chapter is cannon-optional]

[Ok my little bronies, pegasisters, and seeponies I'm trying something different today. PMV of the Mind's Eye.
Feel free to skip this chapter if that doesn't appeal to you. You won't miss any important plot points,
I want to add something to the experience, not bore you. Also, this chapter is not guaranteed kid friendly.
Ok, still there? You have a computer with an internet connection, yes? Let's do this.
The following songs were at least part of what was going on in my head when I wrote the 'Rider' sub-chapters.]
********************************************************************************

[Find your favorite copy of 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' by the Rolling Stones, or any lyric faithful cover, and start the track when the text says the music starts, then follow along. The left side is the in-world lyrics, the right side are some images that are story events, what the singer is thinking about, or aesthetic.]

Dianne Pie gently picked up the microphone, closing her eyes. The music started...

I saw her today at the reception

Rarity at a party / Rosie Posey in a coffin
A glass of wine in her hand

Posey and Dianne making an herbal potion
I knew she was gonna meet her connection

Rarity sees Blueblood to her left and moves right in a hurry
At her feet was her footloose man

Spike dances under a lampshade / Big Mac digs a hole

You can't always get what you want

Dianne glances at a bush in Everfree
You can't always get what you want

Zecora Jumps out of it, startling her
You can't always get what you want

Filly Pinkamina enters family living room...
But if you try sometimes you might find

Her mother, already present, crosses her forehooves
You get what you need

Filly Pinkamina trots up to Cottage

And I went down to the demonstration

Trotting down Ponyville street...
To get my fair share of abuse

Windows and doors slam closed...
Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration

A crowd points at Dianne angrily...
If we don't we're gonna blow a fuse"

...past her to Zecora
Sing it to me now...

...Dianne trots away from crowd towards Zecora...

...Crowd members look at each other confusedly.
You can't always get what you want

...The two trot back to Zecora's cottage
You can't always get what you want

...trot inside
You can't always get what you want

...Dianne examines a book as Zecora grabs a flower
But if you try sometimes well you just might find

...they mix a potion
You get what you need

Dianne delivers a potion to Granny Smith
Oh baby, yeah, yeah!

In Sweet Apple Orchard, Twilight does in air gasp at Dianne

I came back from the Everfree Forest,

Trotting away from forest
To get your prescription filled

a few leaves hang out of stuffed saddlebags
I was standing in line with Captain Sprinkles

in front of Sugarcube corner, Pegasus flies down
And man, did he look pretty ill

Weather Captain Sprinkles glares at Pinkamina
We decided that we would have a soda

Dianne pulls out a can of soda...
My favorite flavor, cherry red

... shakingly hands it to Weather Captain
I sung my song to Captain Sprinkles

... and it sprays all over his face.
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead"

...that scene from 'Cupcakes' (ugh, sorry)
I said to him

...Dianne has a handkerchief, using it on the Captain

You can't always get what you want, no!

Dianne looks in an empty chicken coop
You can't always get what you want

...looks down an empty burrow
You can't always get what you want (no)

...sits down, teary
But if you try sometimes you just might find

...sees animals surrounding her
You get what you need

...and is covered in woodland creatures, smiling
Oh yes! Woo!

Dianne bandages a boar

You get what you need--yeah, oh baby!

Dianne pulls a bandage from her saddlebags...
Oh yeah!

...and places it on colt's skinned knee

I saw her today at the reception

Princess Celestia greeting guests at G.G.Gala
In her glass was a bleeding mare

Nightmare Moon screams as she's enveloped by Rainbow Beam
She was practiced at the art of deception

Princess Celestia sips tea
Well I could tell by her blood-stained hooves

Everfree Palace, Luna apologizes to Celestia

You can't always get what you want

Filly Pinkamina points her hoof
You can't always get what you want

Adult Dianne shakes her head, no
You can't always get what you want

Dianne enters Everfree forest with Mane Six
But if you try sometimes you just might find

A wild manticore appears!
You just might find

Dianne stops the party...
You get what you need

...and pulls out a huge pair of tweezers

You can't always get what you want

Adult Dianne pushes rocks with her head
You can't always get what you want

Filly Pinkamina tries to tie a splint for a bemused Bonbon (failing)
You can't always get what you want

Pinky Pie holds a bag upside down, nothing comes out
But if you try sometimes you just might find

Dianne walking through town, nopony to be seen...
You just might find

...looks around a corner, starts smiling
You get what you need, ah yes...

Mane six assemble in front of library

*******

The three fillies held the chorus notes a little longer than needed. Clomping, the Mane Six cheered as Dianne approached them. "That'll do, Miss Dianne, that'll do." the Orange one drawled.

*****************************************************************************************************

[The experiment continues. 'Hero' by Nickleback]

On the second try Fluttershy managed to grasp the microphone. Her wings flapped out twice to keep her balance. Eyes snapped open as the music started...

I am so high, I can hear heaven

'The Race' starts
I am so high, I can hear heaven.

Fluttershy is knocked off her cloud
Whoa but heaven... No heaven don't hear me

Begins falling

And they say that a hero can save us

'The Storm' in front of the Everfree Forest
I'm not gonna stand here and wait

Fluttershy barking orders
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles

The Weather Team takes formation
Watch as we all fly away

Omega Flight breaks formation at end of a training session

Someone told me love will all save us

Pinkamina holds up Angel
But how can that be, look what love gave us

The Cloudboom races across the sky
A world full of killing, and blood-spilling

Angry crowd in front of a cottage, pink pony glances from window
That world never came

Ponyville Meeting Hall, sun refuses to rise

And they say that a hero can save us

Storm, Fluttershy swats Turner to run off with Able
I'm not gonna stand here and wait

young Fluttershy grabs Weather Captain's head
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles

Filly Fluttershy trips over cloud ring
Watch as we all fly away

Adult Fluttershy performs a horizontal corkscrew

Now that the world isnt ending,

Skies clear
Its love that I'm sending to you

Group Photo of Omega Flight
It isn't the love of a hero,

Group Photo of Mane Six
And that's why I fear it won't do

Fluttershy, on a cloud, watches Rainbow Dash on the ground, running.

And they say that a hero can save us

Rarity falls off a cliff...
Im not gonna stand here and wait

...Fluttershy catches her
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles

Fluttershy bucks a Shadowbolt, it turns into clouds
Watch as we all fly away

Pony Sister's abandoned palace, sun starts to rise

And they're watching us

Thunderball
(Watching Us)

Thunderball with a Mare...
And they're watching us

...and an earth pony foal, light gray
(Watching Us)

Young Snowflake
Watch as we all fly away

Adult Snowflake

And they're watching us

Derpy
(Watching Us)

Derpy and Dinky...
And they're watching us

... plus sparkler...
(Watching Us)

... next to Carrot Top, Berry Punch & Berry Pinch
Watch as we all fly away

Dorothy Gale, soaring after a hot air balloon
And they're watching us

Sea Foam on a Beach at sunset, watching the waves
(Watching Us)

Tim Turner
And they're watching us

Doctor Hooves
(Watching Us)

Differently Able in a wheelchair, distant figures flying
Watch as we all fly away

Brown earth pony (distant) watches Derpy fly

******

The applause quickly died down when she fluttered her wings once. "Th-thank you, everyone. I think I needed that." Her outward projection of calm was put to a lie by the furious blush on her face.

********************************************************************************************************

[If'n you don't find the Man in Black to your tastes, just mosey on down to that starry line.
For the rest of you, the song is 'I've been Everywhere (man)' I suggest Johnny Cash, but any singer will do.]

Pulling back her stetson, the orange and blonde pony picked up the guitar resting next to her stool, glanced casually at the assmbly and began to play...

I was totin' my pack along the dusty Whinnie-mucca road,

Filly Jackie packs and leaves the farm
When along came a cart with a high an' canvas-covered load.

Older Filly sneaks out of Manehattan apartment
"If you're goin' to Whinnie-mucca, Mack, with me you can ride."

Packing in Manehattan apartment
And so I climbed into the cab and then I settled down inside.

Joins Vinyl Octave Overdrive roadie crew in a cart
He asked me if I'd seen a road with so much dust and sand.

Surveying future site of Appleloosa
And I said, "Listen, I've traveled every road in this here land!"

Forehead to forehead with Twilight

I've been everywhere, pony.

Running across a green meadow
I've been everywhere, brony.

Dodging trees in a Forest
Crossed the desert's bare, sis.

Running across scrubland
I've breathed the mountain air, miss.

Leaping off a cliff, hoof holding her hat
Of travel I've had my share, damn.

Hiding under a tarp on a ship's deck
I've been everywhere.

Hanging upside down in a cargo net, apologetic smile

I've been to:

Loading Amps and Speakers onto a stage
Reino, Clip-clopgo, Fargo, Whinniesota,

Tossing a lasso in a Rodeo
Buffalo, Trot'oronto, Whinnislow, Sarasota,

Holding a scroll and pen squinting at numbers
Twichitail, Tulsa, Trottawa, Oaklahoma,

Weeding a garden in front of a Colonial Style Manor
Stampa, Ponyma, Mare'tawa, La Palomino,

Shucking Corn with a knife
Mane'gor, Baltimare, Stal'vador, A'mare'illo,

Hauling a crate by pulley onto a steamboat
Clop-apillo, Mare'anquilla, and Pony-dilla, I'm a killer.

Bucking a Mountain Lion, Jackie looks scratched up

I've been everywhere, pony.

She staggers down a paved street
I've been everywhere, brony.

Falling off a barstool
Crossed the desert's bare, sis.

Buried to the head in sand
I've breathed the mountain air, miss.

Falling, hooves flailing
Of travel I've had my share, damn.

As part of a train hauling team
I've been everywhere.

Stopping short of the edge of a mesa

I've been to:

Standing in front of a judge in court
Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana,

Wrestling with a fiddle
Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana,

Wearing a clown outfit while desperately riding an angry bull
Monterey, Faraday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa,

Peeling potatoes
Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa,

Pushing a dust broom across a marble floor
Tennessee to Tennesse Chicopee, Spirit Lake,

Baking a pie, half of the kitchen is on fire
Grand Lake, Devils Lake, Crater Lake, for Pete's sake.

Rowing a boat across a lake

I've been everywhere, pony.

Crawling into a town
I've been everywhere, brony.

running in front of a stampede, NOT in control of it
Crossed the desert's bare, sis.

Standing on the backs of racing cows, laughing
I've breathed the mountain air, miss.

Staggering with a cow on her back, cow laughing
Of travel I've had my share, damn.

A dolphin pulling her to shore
I've been everywhere.

Holding a set of cards, seated at a green felt lined table, grinning

I've been to:

Carving a block of ice, sweating
Louisville, Nashville, Knocksville, Oat-babika,

Holding a bat, at home plate, points at the sky & smirks
Shettlandville, Jacksfoalville, Waterville, Pona'Rica,

Polishing hooves on a street-corner
Pittsfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Shreveport,

Washing a huge stack of dishes in a kitchen
Hoofensack, Coltillac, Fawn du Lac, Dapple-port,

Opens a door, sees a dalek, slams door
Potatoho, Jellico, Argentina, Diamond'tina,

Fishing off a pier
Pasadena, Cattle'lina, see what I mean-a.

Operating a trolley car, shrugs at viewer

I've been everywhere, pony.

Riding a runaway downhill cart, screaming.
I've been everywhere, brony.

Card table with three cups on it, stallion points, Jackie lifts cup, nothing
Crossed the desert's bare, sis.

Juggling on a wooden stage with red curtain backdrop.
I've breathed the mountain air, miss.

Dressed as a clown again, being sprayed with seltzer water.
Of travel I've had my share, damn.

Wearing a nice, fur-lined coat, riding a Pegasus Chariot, waves
I've been everywhere.

Sitting on a street-corner, cup held out, wearing shades

I've been to:

A saddlebag...
Ponysburgh, Parkersbuck, Gravelbourg, Colt'orado,

... starts getting travel stickers...
Ellensburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, Eldorado,

... ends up plastered in them.
Larimore, Admore, Haverstraw, Chatanika,

Boarding a Zeppelin.
Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska, Opelika,

Eating a pastry in Prance.
Baraboo, Waterloo, Kalamazoo, Kansas City,

Roasting an apple over a campfire at night
Sioux City, Cedar City, Dodge City, what a pity.

Holding two foals under her forelegs as she leaps from...

...a burning building
I've been everywhere, pony.

Lying in a hospital bed, a leg in a cast is suspended by pulleys
I've been everywhere, brony.

Puts on a cap and holds a flashlight in her mouth
Crossed the desert's bare, sis.

Standing in a window-washer's box, washing a high-rise
I've breathed the mountain air, miss.

Chasing an eagle with her hat in it's talons, shouting angrily
Of travel I've had my share, damn.

Fleeing a raging bear.
I've been everywhere.

Talking to a pony over a map, pointing out a location

******

Only Applebloom clapped, everyone else just stared in amazement - Twilight's eyes were half closed in skepticism. Jackie snorted in amusement and did a double curtsy.

"So, you're a 'Jackie of all Trades?" Twilight asked.

"Hah, you know what, I reckon I am. I'm gonna use that in my next act."

*********************************************************************************************************

[Quick intro: Coldplay, 'Fix You']

Everypony had a suggestion, it seemed. She'd almost gone with ' Rainbow Connection' but... ' A frog!?, no way am I signing a song written for a frog.' Just when she had made up her mind, Fluttershy TOLD her what song she'd be singing, leaving no room for argument. 'Rassin' frassin' better remember who got her started on bad-flankery' she grumbled to salve her pride. She slammed a hoof onto the small table, launching the mirophone airborne, caught it with her wing, and let it roll into her outstretched hoof. ' Ok, that's enough, let's do this!'

When you try your best but you don't succeed

Filly Rainbow is knocked to the side during 'The Race'
When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Laying in a hospital bed, staring at the ceiling
Stuck in reverse

Slamming her head into a school desk

And the tears come streaming down your face

Filly Power Dive Part 1
When you lose something you can't replace

Horseshoe falling through the air
When you love someone but it goes to waste

Blue Earth Pony with Pale Yellow hair, wearing a vest
Could it be worse?

Blue Pony on a music stage, seen from curtains.

Lights will guide you home

Bolt of lightning envelops Differently Able
And ignite your bones

Twilight aglow with power
And I will try to fix you

Rainbow helps Rarity out of a mud puddle

And high up above or down below

Filly Power Dive 2, Fluttershy visible
When you're too in love to let it go

Filly Dash shouting at Thunder Dash
But if you never try you'll never know

Scribbling on paper rapidly
Just what you're worth

Dash holds up Rainbow-hair Necklace for Steve Magnet, (she's bald)

Lights will guide you home

The Cloudboom wrecks the hospital room
And ignite your bones

Mane Six aglow in harmony
And I will try to fix you

Bedridden Rainbow talking to Fluttershy

Tears stream down your face

Filly Power Dive 3, ground is visible
When you lose something you cannot replace

Sonic Rainboom into a crater
Tears stream down your face

Filly Fluttershy cries, racing to the bottom
And I will try to fix you

Finds a broken Rainbow Dash

Tears stream down your face

Wearing graduation robes, parents in audience.
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Sketching designs for 'Pega-chute'
Tears stream down your face

Filly Power Dive 4, manages to get under Fluttershy
And I will try to fix you

In workshop, Dash moves a box and sees Scootaloo

Lights will guide you home

Mane Six return from Everfree
And ignite your bones

Dash's harmony necklace forms
And I will try to fix you

Rainboom impacts the ground

******

'Darn it all, I'm not crying, I'm NOT bucking crying!' She didn't even noticed the cheers until a butter yellow pegasus quieted everypony down. Fluttershy looked at her old friend with mixed emotions, "Now will you admit you made a difference?" 'Oh you crafty bi-' Ok, now Dash was definitely crying.

*************************************************************************************************************

[This time, 'The Logical Song' by Supertramp]

Three mugs of Apple Family Special Reserve cider lay discarded and empty as the purple unicorn levitated the microphone towards her, managing not to put her eye out with it. 'Ok, this is part of the whole experience, I can do this...' The music started.

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,

Filly Twi gets smartypants
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.

Twilight spins her doll around in an aerial ballet
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,

Twi and Shining Armor run through a park
joyfully, playfully watching me.

Her parents watch, hooves resting together
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,

First Day of magic kindergarten
logical, responsible, practical.

Books piling up
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,

Straining to flip a page with telekinesis
clinical, intellectual, cynical.

Reading a book while walking, ignores other kids

There are times when all the world's asleep,

Twilight stargazing with telescope
the questions run too deep

Mare in the moon winks at her
for such a simple mare.

Her mane starts to tweak
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned

Mixing chemicals, which explode
I know it sounds absurd

Rising from a bush, bird's nest on her head
but please tell me who I am.

Peering around the edge of a body-length mirror

Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical,

Edges up next to Dianne, whispering sideways...
liberal, fanatical, criminal.

...Flips over and pins Dianne to the wall
Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're

She holds a scroll and a pen while smiling earnestly
acceptable, respecable, presentable, a vegtable!

Taps a hoof on the other, hair tweaking as she goes

At night, when all the world's asleep,

Walking through Sweet Apple Acres at night...
the questions run so deep

...A glowing Shining Armor races by, followed by Applebloom
for such a simple mare.

Complex magical sigils form arcane circles around her
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned

Vertigo as the whole scene begins spinning
I know it sounds absurd

The sun rises and the other Mane six lift her up
but please tell me who I am.

... and toss her into the air.

******

There was applause. It was minor, but for a pony who never sought attention, that was a relief. In fact, she glared at the orange pony who was clomping the loudest. "What? I kin' appreciate th' message even if the delivery was... Look, y'sang it well. Ah'm not being sarcastic." 'Well, I'm going to take it as a compliment whatever you meant.'

*****************************************************************************************************

[Rarity requests you imagine your own images. Meredith Brooks 'Bitch'. Sorry, If this makes you uncomfortable, skip it.]

'Inhale, hold, and... exhale. Now.' Lights flipped on as the mic flew towards the ivory Unicorn as the music started.

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I'm a nag, I'm a lover
I'm a foal, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm Pony Hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I be
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger Pony
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

I'm a nag, I'm a lover
I'm a foal, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
Nightmare Moon, in your dream
I'm nothing you've ever seen
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a nag, I'm a lover
I'm a foal, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm Pony Hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
Celestia on her knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

******

Reactions were mixed, to say the least.
"It was... nice"
"Bahahahahaha..."
"..."
"Wut?"
"Moondancer is certain she doesn't own this record..."
"Did, did that really happen? 'K I gotta at least respect your self confidence gal."
"I ... really like your... mane?"

*******************************************************************************************************

The night rolled on, they sang 'A little help from my Friends' by the Beatails and the obligatory 'Equestria Girls'. Ponies dropped to sleep one by one, but nopony wanted to stay out of it for long.

******

"Thank you so much for a wonderful party, Moondancer. Girls? A pleasure as always, take care of yourselves now." The horde of ponies departed with the morning sunrise, yawning. The fillies were being carried, they had fallen asleep hours ago, along with the dragon.

Moondancer waved until they were out of sight, then turned to her friend, "Moondancer wishes she knew what the buck just happened." She wouldn't see the morning paper until almost noon.

******

Optional Cannon Scene

******

"Remind me why any of us are trusting this nut-case?" Thunderball asked, glancing about him in annoyance.

"He claims it is possible to recall our casualty, that makes his claim worth our time." Sea Foam replied, no happier.

"I, please. It really is him, he just... he hasn't met you yet. But the one thing you have to do for him, you have to trust him." Derpy was adamant that the brown pony had known them before, in his future. It made no sense, earth ponies didn't become pegasi, now or ever. And as for living backwards or moving sideways or whatever, well it was hard to tell if they had the story straight or if this was another... 'Derpism'.

"Yeah!" Snowflake shouted, prancing in place. The possiblity was enough for him, you set a goal and you reached it. He didn't set goals he couldn't reach, so it stood to reason this Just Doctor character didn't either. He muttered another 'yeah' under his breath to settle himself.

"Brilliant, all of you keeping in touch over such a long period of time. Fascinating. Now, I need each of you to concentrate on your last memories of Miss Gale... hold on, I think I finally get that one. Frank Oz, wasn't it? Oh, no, that was the green fellow, Baum, the writer, yeah that's it. Amazing how many coincidences you lot have - thought I much prefer ponies, frankly." The brown earth pony rambled contentedly, mostly to himself, around the metal tube shaped tool in his mouth. Occasionally it would emit blue lights.

The brown pony looked down at the purpleish gray unicorn filly, "Dinky, you are being very brave, being out here. It's past your bedtime, you know that? Funny, isn't it, sun's just now setting but it's actually ten o'clock. Ha, controllable speed sun rotation, fascinating, isnit? By tomorrow it should all be-" Derpy 'gently' nudged him." Right then, you are one brave little filly, take after yer Mum, don't you?" She nodded happily, "Ok, now you remember what we talked about before, right? No, wait, not the 'always be ready to run' talk, good work remembering that bit though. The... spell, yeah, spell, ha, still getting used to that part. Magic, who knew? So... spell, right? Yeah I knew you'd remember. Very important you remember that bit, ok? Let's... see what happens." 'I have NO idea what I'm getting myself into here. What I do know is Derpy is the first pony who helped me after I came here, and if she says I end up liking this lot, well a lot of my past selves have let me down, so I might as well give my future self the benefit of the doubt. I guess.'

The five adults were spread in a circle around the clearing, Ponyville on one side, the Everfree Forest on the other. Ditzy Doo nee Derpy, Sea Foam, and Horsepower each held a small roan colored feather. Thunderball and ... Mr. 'just the' Doctor each held a candle, with another placed in the center of their ad hoc formation. Dinky Doo circled the group, her tiny horn sparkling lightly. When she came back around to the Doctor he nodded, "Ok, open the bags now. Each pony had a small bag with a tiny bit of cloud in it, which they all released. Instead of either floating away or dissipating, they swirled toward each other, stretching and spiraling.

A small funnel cloud formed and began growing at an alarming rate. The Doctor pointed his metal rod tool thing at it and a green beam of light shot forth. 'Here goes nothing, hopefully here comes something too.' The still small funnel stopped increasing in size and instead increased in intensity, darkening in color and flashing bolts of lightning. Within a minute it had reached speeds unheard of and was nearly whistling. "Dinky! I really, really need you to remember this next part! Ok, sweetie? Either way this is going to hurt." The Doctor picked up the last item, a burlap sack with a very carefully measured weight of sand within it. Racing toward the storm, which now sounded like a tea kettle ready to be taken off the stove, when he was as close and he could manage, he flung the sack with a flick of his head.

The storm blasted away in a dull roar. After the ponies had picked themselves up, they saw a pegasus standing in the center. A mare, with dull maroon fur and roan colored mane. She stood in a tensed posture, wings set almost parallel to the ground but slightly forward, ready to either shield her or flap her into the air. The wings required a second glance to realize how large they were, large enough for a gryphon easily. around her neck was a band of blue ribbon with a lion's claw tied in front. She wore a battered black hat with wide brim and conical top and silver shoes. In her mouth was a battered broomstick, held defensively. Once that had been taken in, one noticed the wicker saddle-baskets, the left one carrying an aged black wire terrier, whuffling quietly as it slept. The right basket held a straw hat, a tin funnel, a stack of quilting fabric, a large metal pocket-watch, and a piece of moose-horn. Also, her eyes were squeezed tightly shut.

Nopony moved for several minutes, they hardly dared breathe. Eventually the reddish pony opened her eyes and dared to breathe deeply again. She gazed around her in wonder, looking at each of the ponies present, taking their every detail in greedily. "This, I'm not in Ohsees anymore, am I?" She knelt, wings folding in - and they took quite a bit of folding. "Oh, please, please tell me this is Equestria." Derpy nodded, trotting forward. The others followed her, not sure what to believe.

"I feel as thought I have lived the strangest dream. You were there," She pointed at Snowflake, "and you, and you were there, and you, and... oh, hello Doctor. Doctor!? Ohh, you found her again, that's wonderful." None of the others seemed to notice the sinking feeling the earth pony experienced. "Where's, oh... did something happen to Fluttershy?"

"Dorothy, we, we didn't know this would work. Nopony told her you'd be here, please understand. She'll ... she'll be back soon, I'm sure. Positronic carburetor... how are you?" Derpy asked, finally letting herself believe.

"Well, from what I understand, it all starts about fifteen years ago with Professor Lulamoon..." They all gathered to hear the story.

A Variant Season, Four Letters

A Variant Season

Four Letters

To: Prince Blueblood Heart,

I have in the past done you injury by slighting your family's bravery and loyalty to the Crown and Equestria. Recently I have discovered evidence which may exonerate the Loyalist branch of your family - including the possible corruption of Rebel Leader Broken Heart, known as 'General Heartbreaker' during the Lunar Rebellion. I will also be petitioning Princess Luna to confirm that none of your family ever had any direct dealings with Nightmare Moon herself.

Please do not thank me for this. I have done you a wrong and, whatever justification I felt at the time, I feel I must make reparations. We may never be friends but I could certainly do with fewer enemies.

Humbly yours,
Asst. Prof. Rarity Bell

"Are you sure these transfer spells are ok for you, Heathspike?"
"...Rarity, please call me 'Spike', ok? It sounds dorky when you call me 'Heath', that's like a... field, isn't it?"
"Young dragon, I will call my adorable little child whatever I like, but I will take your concerns into consideration. Now, are you sure these letters aren't upsetting you unduly?"

"Oh, yeah, sure I can take it. I'm tough."
"You are not doing a good job of reassuring me."
"Rarity, I'm fine. Besides, I get my own magical power this way, how cool is that?" Further discussion was interrupted by the mystic 'un-digestion' of a new letter. Rarity caught it with her magic and began reading.

"Oh, of all the... He wants me to accompany him to the Grand Galloping Gala! Oof, I CAN'T refuse right after apologizing. Ok, new tactic... Spike, take a letter. Dear Prince Blueblood, of course I would be delighted to attend, but in order for me to be able to make such an arrangement it would be necessary for me to be able to bring my five closest friends and my son, whom I simply could not entrust to childcare for such an occasion. I'm certain you understand, and if this is an imposition I'm willing to simply sit this invitation out, however much it might disappoint me." Spike gave her a flat stare, she smiled and shrugged at him.

The reply came ten minutes later, and had seven tickets attached. 'Of all the... well, at least this has to be the worst of the lot.'

Three ponies contemplated an entire orchard inundated under apples. Mackintosh, still recuperating from the town siege sported an extensively bandaged torso. To his left Twilight took in the view with a mixture of wonder and trepidation. "I don't think I've ever seen this many apples on the trees before..."

"So, ya reckon this is some kinda side effect of the whole sun thing?" Jackie asked from the other side of Big Mac.
"E-maybe." Both ponies eyed him, suspicious. "What I do know is it's too many for you two to handle."
"W-what're you talking about? I can handle all of this myself! Twai can play nursie to ya while you recover and we'll be rollin' in apples before you can say 'Antidisestablishmentarianism'."

Twilight parsed the word, "Why is there a word for stopping anti-government groups?"
"Don't you try and use your fancy grasp of the Equestrian Language to muddle the issue. This Apple can handle those apples."

"Why is this even an issue? Thought you two made up bah now." Mackintosh backed away as the two mares began glaring at each other.

"I'm not sure what's going on, but I really think Jackie should settle down before she embarrasses herself."
"Maybe I'm not the one who should be concerned about bein' embarrassed."
"Oh hohoho... are we doing this? Are you going to make a promise your mouth can't keep?"
"Missy, you best back down before you get put down. In a Fair contest I'd beat you any day of the week ending in 'y'."
"All days end in 'Y'!"
"Well, at least you've got your wits to console you."

Mackintosh made the mistake of trying to defuse the situation. "Girls, this ain't the way to get apples picked. We got to-"

Jackie gestured at the central path that divided the north and south halves of the farm, "Ok, North half and South half, you pick either one, I'll get the other done before you and then there won't be no argument. No magic, no outside help. Deal?" She spat on her hoof and held it forward.

Twilight only stared at the hoof for a moment before closing her eyes and shaking it with her own, "Deal, I'll take south, and you are going to lose."

"Ohh, we'll see. And may the best Apple win."
"Ha, this contest will be over by Twilight."

'Now this just can't be good.' Mackintosh thought, leaving the two to stalk away while trying to glare behind themselves.

Dear Miss Bell,

The hospital staff regret to inform you that patient 1307, Mrs. Subtle Glamor is currently undergoing Extensive Magical Therapy and is unable to reply. We will inform her of your letter as soon as she is well enough to read it. It is the experience of the Staff Nurse that letters of reparation can have a marked improvement of patient mentality in the case of ongoing healing.

If you wish to continue a set of correspondences with Mrs. Glamor we can arrange for a private mailing address, although we are certain you will understand that a certain amount of pre-reading will occur, in order to maintain a positive mental attitude in the patient. It is the experience of our senior staff that excess stress can result in a markedly negative...This is an illusory image that will only be triggered an hour after this letter has been scried for hidden messages. My name is not 'Subtle' for nothing. You have had some experience in your life and now you seek forgiveness. Well, for my part I hold you as blameless for my injury as you had best hold me for my misinterpretation. But, I will not forgive you for what you DID do to my daughter. I have not heard from her since that 'incident', a handful of rumors are all I have to even believe she is still alive. If you want absolution, you will find my precious Trixie and you will bring her to me. Until such time as that happens I will resist every attempt to heal me. My death will be on your conscience, so consider my state of health your time limit. You always were a bright girl, in your brittle way. Do this thing, you owe it to me.
...For the most part we have had far more success with repeated hug therapy than electroshock but we maintain that direct neural stimulation has its place in practical medicine. Dear me, we seem to have gotten far from the subject.

In conclusion, it is a wonderful thing you are doing, and we trust you will see it through to the end.

Staff Corespondent,
General Practice - Canterlot Northface Magical Reconstructive Hospital.

The illusion was foal's play to disenchant before Spike or anypony else could see it. What she couldn't hide were the tears, but it was fairly easy to play them off at concern over the condition of one of her dear teachers. 'And in the end, isn't that really what I am crying for? Of course in her place I would be just as bitter.' The problem was, she had tried to find Trixie before. The scrying protection made it likely the unicorn was still alive, but also made locating her directly impossible. 'Wait, what about that location magic that Twilight used to find Jackie for Apple Bloom? Perhaps there is another way...'

"Well ah think it's neat you two can have a friendly competition like this." Apple Bloom trotted after her sister, marveling at the wagonload of apples Jackie was hauling. The contest had been going on for two days now and neither pony was showing any signs of giving up.

"Oh yeah, real friendly like. Just got to settle a minor disagreement. Ufh. You might just go on and make sure she ain't hurtin' herself taking this too seriously though." 'Heh, if Granny Smith thinks Twi is straining herself, she'll make Twilight quit.'

"Now, see, that's funny. Twilight just sent me over here to make sure you weren't skipping meals or sleep. The two'a y'all are more alike than y'let on. It's great, like I get to have TWO sisters." Apple Bloom remained oblivious of the strain in Jackie's face, or thought it was related to apple harvesting activities.

'Concerned about me, huh? Pshaw, more likely she was trying to get me disqualified. I know how to pace m'self. I had a drink of water not four hours ago... maybe I should take a little break at that.'

"I'm sorry, it's called what again?"
"Applebucking season."

"Oh, I see... well, Mackintosh, when she has a moment, please tell her that I would very much like to discuss one of her spells. I believe it could help me a great deal. I, err, don't suppose the two of them need any help, do they?"

"More'n either will admit, but good luck getting them to accept." Big Mac rumbled.

"Well, not much that can be done about that, I suppose. Ah, while I'm here, Mackintosh, Sweetie Bell and Spike had a wonderful time playing with your youngest sister and the other one, Scooter I think? At the celebration. We must see about getting them together. What class is little Apple Bloom attending this year?"

'And there it is again. Just off regular, so I know it's not mechanical. If I didn't know better I'd say it sounds like somepony with the hiccups. And I don't know better so...' Rainbow Dash stalked the storage room of her workshop. For the last ten minutes a sound had been creeping into her awareness, and it was driving her crazy. Creeping through the collected boxes with a near silent tread - rubberized horseshoes for increased safety while using an arc welder - she located the likely source of the noise.

Grabbing the box and pulling in upward quickly, the cyan pegasus beheld an orange filly and half a bag of bread. Then the scream started. 'Augh, somepony needs to do a study on how foals can produce so much noise in such a small package.' "Whoa, whoa whoa kiddo. Mercy, please. 'm not going to hurt you. That, uh that bread looks pretty stale, wouldn't you rather have a grilled cheese and daffodil sandwich?" Mercifully the noise stopped. 'Ok, food first, then I figure out what the hay is going on here...'

Granny Smith had indeed put her hoof down. Both mares were to take a day off from their contest, and she seriously urged them to consider the entire affair. On the farm, her word was law, but Twilight had already made arrangements to talk with the perplexing pegasus of Sugarcube Corner and help her make muffins. Since Jackie didn't have anything to do, Twilight had offered to let her tag along - she was frankly surprised when the orange pony accepted.

Sea Foam considered the carnage. With two ponies helping her on her first solo project, she should have had a 300% workload, and a 50% increase over the improvement simply having Twilight help had offered. 'Am I doing the math correctly?' she considered, taking one more precious second before returning to the field of Armageddon the kitchen had become. Earthworms, lemon juice, salt for sugar, soda-pop instead of baking soda... actually I may try that one again later - why were there potato chips in the kitchen in the first place? Mr. Cake is forbidden to eat them by his wife...'

Sheer pandemonium, there were nearly five dozen muffins and not a single one was safe to serve to a customer. At least she had made the two of them help her clean up. The dragon had an odd digestive system, perhaps he could help dispose of the 'baked bads' while she made up for lost time.

"Heathspike Bell, I don't care if you did get those disgusting things for free! You are not eating something with insects in it!"

"Technically and earthworm isn't an insect. No legs-"
"We are not quibbling about classes of Arthropoda, I am telling you what will and won't happen."
"Fine, fine, I'll throw perfectly good food away."
"That is the good little boy I raised. And when you get back, dear, I have another letter for you to send."

Dearest Princess Luna,

I hope this letter finds you in good humor. Your friends in Ponyville send their regards and we all keep you in our thoughts. I understand that your reacclimation to modern society requires you to spend most of your time in Canterlot these days, but we would most certainly love a chance to see you again. I have a few ideas if you are interested, your Majesty.

I have also been considering your sister's ... fascinating proposal that the six of us in Ponyville send periodic reports regarding our friendship amongst the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. My proposal is that we send the reports to you, both so that you can keep up on our activities and feel more connected with us the 'little ponies', and because quite frankly your sister - hallowed be her name and all the days she and you walk upon Equestria - sounds like she wants to keep tabs on us and I'd like to know that we have at least one friend in the palace. Oh dear, I do hope that doesn't sound conspiratorial - they don't read your mail, do they?

In any case, I do want to compliment you on your excellent work. The night sky has never looked more brilliant, and the moon positively glows... which I suppose is the point. In any case, I write this letter with the best wishes of your six friends: Twilight, Diane, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Jackie, and of course myself:

your friend,
Rarity Bell

"Shall we review?" Diane stalked back and forth as the two mares crouched down. Twilight had her hooves over her head and Jackie was using her hat to avoid looking anypony in the eyes. "It had been noted to me, in passing, that the two of you were suffering some sort of competitive mania. I, in turn, invited both of you here to talk about it, over tea." She paused in her pacing, making sure she achieved eye contact with both ponies. "Are we all on the same page so far?" Both ponies nodded, glumly.

"Then, with all the love and tolerance I can muster, I must ask: What, under the Blazing Orb of the Sun, possessed you to start terrorizing the local rabbit population!?"

"Y-you mentioned that it might be convenient to take stock of how many new bunnies there were."

"I was speaking off-hoofedly, and I'm fairly certain I never broached berating bouncing baby bunnies-snrk!" Diane's face underwent a mesmerizing series of contortions as she began laughing and shouting at the same time. "This is not, ahahahahaha! You will not make me, hihihihihi! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! HAHEHEHEHE!" She began flailing around, her wildly swaying hair seemed to curl and uncurl on its own, so violently was she shaking. Without a word both ponies leapt to their hooves and restrained the panicked pink pony.

She stopped laughing and jerking about. "Please, please, you must be at peace, there has to be a way to end this conflict..." Still without speaking Twilight loaded Diane onto Jackie's back, opening the door and helping put the pink pony to bed. After making sure she was asleep, both ponies left.

Dear Rarity,

To be entirely honest, I don't think I've even thought of you in the last six years. I think we were all responsible for behavior we have no cause to be proud of that year, so if you seek my forgiveness, you have it.

What is this rumor I hear that you helped save the world? It would certainly be a coup for the Allumni, but it just... doesn't sound like the unicorn I knew. I suppose that is the point though, isn't it? The unicorn I knew wouldn't be sending out letters like these, oh of course I don't flatter myself that I'm the only one you're sending a 'heartfelt apology' to.

You know, I said I don't give you much thought these days, but at the time I think it was almost all I considered. You cut to the quick, go straight for the heart, and show mercy only by your surgical prescision. Oh, there I go again, that's what you used to do, right? I'm sure now you've tempered that razor tongue of yours, put away your icy sword and frost-shield.

And your family, that was always your sore point, wasn't it? Got you in such fights with the nobles, what with their snobbery, never mind that it was all they'd known at home, what had been drilled into them since foalhood. And you never went after the weak ones, nopony could ever question your bravery, oh no, only the largest targets were even worth your time. Silly me, of course you never picked a fight yourself, did you? It was always self defense, or-even better-defending some helpless lower-class mare.

Looking at this letter, I find that perhaps some of my feelings were not so much forgotten as buried. I was never one for editing, so I'm going to send you this letter even with my hypocrisy written blatantly on it. I'm sure you'll appreciate the honesty. And I truly will try to forgive you, if only because the thought of entrusting the welfare of Equestia to the Ice Princess makes me think we missed our best chance with Nightmare-

She tore the letter to pieces, unwilling to take any more of the bile onto herself. 'Well, nopony said this was going to be easy. I think I need a break from this.'

"So, do you have a name, or do I just keep calling you 'Hungry'?" The filly mumbled something from around her second mallow-dog. "Ok, that's beyond even my lax sense of manners. Chew and swallow. Ok, now, again with the answer."

"I said, my name's Scootaloo." Rainbow Dash just continued to look at the filly. "What?"
"You got a second name to go with that?"
"That's what my parents call me, so I figure it's enough."
"Ok, since you brought it up, where ARE your folks?"
"..."
"Oh, oh mare. I'm so sorry kid, I didn't mean to-" Rainbow felt a sinking sensation.
"They're Not Dead."
"Did, did I say they were? Tell you what, why don't you just hang around here until they come back for you?"
"I Said, they're NOT dead."

"I don't see anypony disagreeing with you. All I'm saying is, I find you hiding here with a half a loaf of week-old bread. So, obviously there's been a mix-up somewhere along the line, right?" 'Oh, this one's a fighter, I can feel it. Please, you've got to let me help you kid.'

"Now, don't get me wrong. I ain't running a social benefit organization here." '...Liar 'Shut the buck up.' "So what we're going to do, I'm going to let you stay here, you're going to eat and I'll give you clothes and junk you need, and in exchange you're going to learn a trade. How's that sound? Square, right? No handouts."

The orange filly's eyes shifted as she tried to see the downside of the proposal. The automatic assumption there was a catch nearly broke Rainbow's heart. Mare, what the hay has happened to you, kid?'

"Ok, deal. But I'm not making anything frilly."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Scoot. Shake?" She put her hoof out, and the filly hesitantly took it. 'Ok, I can work with this. Ok, ok, ok...'

"And, ha... and then she looks straight at us and says..." Twilight couldn't finish the sentence she was giggling so hard.

"She said 'Do you two need another shower before this ends?', it was priceless." Jackie fell of her seat, again.

"Well, I suppose I'd have had to be there to understand." 'What I understand is that the entire town owes that mare for saving us Again. Is this going to be the end of it between these two? Hmm... I may have to take more drastic measures. Spike is going to that convention next week, perhaps I can corral the two of them into a sleepover...' "What I'm glad of is that the two of you, finally, started thinking about the good of Sweet Apple Acres. Imagine if you had let the apples go bad in your drive to finish with only two ponies?" The two quieted and hung their head... at least until Twilight snorted again and they were back to laughing.

"Well, ah've got to get back. Thanks fer the clean towels, Rare. Hah, never callin' that girl's bluff again."

"Now, Twilight, I did have an ulterior motive for asking you to stay behind. I'd like for you to help me find a pony..."

Author's Note

Next Episode: A Variant Season, The Greatest Show in Equestria

A Variant Season, the Greatest Show in Equestia

A Variant Season

The Greatest Show in Equestria

Dear Aunt and Uncle Orange,

First and foremost may I assure you that I am still among the living. Second, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the important lessons you taught me during my few months with you. I am probably the most ungrateful foal who has ever been blessed with not one but two loving families; a failing I intend to rectify. My circumstances are not dire and I seek no aid from you, let me be clear: I wish to repay you for your kindness to a confused filly.

Words are but a poor medium, but as they are all I have at the moment, I shall martial them: I am sorry. I am sorry for running away, I am sorry for breaking your hearts, I am sorry for never finding the courage to let you know I was alright, and I am sorry that even now I am only writing you because a dear friend of mine insists I repair my past. Please, for your own sakes, forgive me.

You have every right to be upset with me and to refuse to ever wish to speak to me. If that is not your inclination then I beg you to let me visit you some few months from now. I will, of course, be more than happy to exchange letters with you in the meantime.

Sincerely,
Apple Jacqueline Orange

They came in the night. Few even saw them, the cloaked figures dragging a huge wooden cart, brass-bound fixtures and clanking springs rumbled ominously. In the morning, the cart was already in the town square, as wide as five ponies were long and taller than some cottages. They milled around it, those strange figures cloaked in purple robes. Some said their eyes flashed with a golden light, or that the outlines of their bodies underneath were not equine.

It was eight in the morning before the Mayor was informed. After half an hour of deliberation and ranting there was no further excuse, she had to investigate. Six of the figures milled by the monstrous cart, their heights were varied, but none was smaller than a pony.

"Ahem, as m-Mayor of Ponyville, let me first welcome you to our humble town. With that said, what exactly do you think you are doing?" There is a certain kind of bravado that only illuminates the fear underneath it.

Two of the figures stepped forward, they were neither small, nor were they larger than some adults. The two glanced at each other before facing the Mayor.

"Bring your ponies..."
"...bring them here..."
"...they will witness..."
"...the greatest show..."
"...in all Equestria." Their words slithered together like one mind inhabited the pair. Fear, revulsion, and a sense of curiosity roiled within the Mayor. She fled.

"I'm sorry, repeat that one more time dear?"
"I said, she's already here - she's in Ponyville. I can't get a good fix because there isn't enough plant-life where she's standing, but she is definitely in town." Twilight's eyes lost their verdant glow as she released the spell. 'Well at least this time I put a duration on the effect, I can't put off telling her any longer... I think lying by omission has been straining our... I just don't like it. The truth, however painful has to be better than this.'

"You can't tell me... no, of course we can't know how long she's been here." Rarity had no idea what to make of this. 'Why of all Equestria would Trixie come here? These convenient coincidences are beginning to be altogether too much.'

Spike ran into the room, trailed by a parchment colored pony with gray mane. "Uh, Rarity? The Mayor has urgent news."

"Well, please come in Mayor. What can I do for you?"

"I believe we are being invaded! An ominous cult has taken over the marketplace and is trying to gather every pony in Ponyville in the central square, please-you must gather the Elements and vanquish them!"

'Oh spare me the high-school dramatics course. But, I'm not lucky enough for these to be unrelated.' "Right, I'll gather the bearers and we'll meet you at the main entrance in... say an hour." She turned to Twilight, "can you round up Jackie and Diane? I'll find Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash." Both unicorns nodded and set to finding their friends.

"Kooky cult, eh? Of course I'm coming." Jackie held back any further comments.
"Um, there's one other thing... I don't think this is a good time, but I'll always find an excuse so..."

Fluttershy's eyes narrowed, "I'll be there. Would we be better off with a clear sky or cloud cover?"

The white unicorn started for a moment, 'oh, right, Weather Team. Useful advantage to be able to set the weather...' "Well, they seem to like darkness, so I think sunny skies are our best bet." The yellow pegasus threw a salute and shot into the sky. 'I'd better ask her not to do that... wouldn't want ponies getting the wrong idea.'

"So ya see, this screw is actually an inclined plane that's been wrapped around-" Dash looked up from her impromptu lecture when the door jingled indicating somepony had come in through the main entrance. "Hold that thought, err this screw, be right back kiddo."

The orange filly took the metal joiner, looking at it to see if it was the secret of creation or a bad joke.

"Hey, welcome to-Rarity! What's... ok, plan?" Dash's brain shifted gears as she took in her guest and the unicorn's expression.

"There may be a spot of trouble downtown, the Mayor would like an... Element of security. Oh, hello... you're... Scooter-ah excuse me, Scootaloo, correct?" Rarity glanced at Rainbow Dash, sparing a moment for curiosity. "Have you taken on an apprentice?"

"Let's go with that for the moment. Hey, Scoot, got some big pony stuff to take care of, be right back. You know where the snacks are, amuse yourself. And for the love of Luna's Inexplicable Toe-Socks, Please leave the power tools alone this time, k?"

"No... what I'm Saying is that it's creepy. What exactly can you tell I'm doing?"

"That's not how it works, I can't tell anything about you-other than where you are. Even that is in relation to nearby plant life. Look, I'm trying to figure out how to cancel it but it's-"

"Ya know what? Don't, don't bother canceling it Twi. Maybe... maybe somepony should be able to keep tabs on me. At least I know you'll keep me 'honest'."

Arriving at Diane's cottage spared Twilight from coming up with a reply. "Ok, who's hurt this time?" Neither pony had had a chance to knock before the door was open, Diane standing there with an expectant expression. Jackie resisted the impulse to step back. 'Nope, no madponies here at all... just Twilight Stalker and Nurse Diane Fuzzywuzzy.'

"Nopony is hurt yet - that we know of. Rarity had a visit from the Mayor-"
"Are-has she finally decided to officially recognize Zecora as a friend of Ponyville?"
"Z-who now? Girl, you are wound tighter than a ten year watch. We've got other problems but whe-"
"Problems, yes. Problems require solutions. I am full of solutions, let us go."
"Um, D? I know you're... new to smiling but-that's Not a reassuring expression you're making. It's more like a grimace."

"... nothing can stop the grimace. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!" The other earth pony and the unicorn exchanged glances.

"Jackie, I can't leave her like this. You go help the others, we'll... we'll catch up."
"How will you know where... this's gonna take getting used to."
"I'm sorry. It was never supposed to happen."
"Yeah, but what was? Nevermind, I'll go, you get Di settled down ok? Good … good luck."

It was crowded. "Great, now we're missing another scene. Anypinkie got an idea what episode we're on?" Asked the poofiest pink pony present.

"Well, they did Applebuck and there hasn't been enough colateral damage for Trixie so it's gotta be the Brush Off... but how will they introduce Gilda with Rainbow Dropout?" asked the Pinkest Pony.

"Wait, this one actually goes to school and you're calling her the 'dropout', harsh." said the... boy?
"Berry, do everypinkie a favor be quiet. Who invited him again?" asked the straight haired pony.
"Why, why are you doing this? Can you not simply leave me in peace?" Diane railed at the interlopers.

"You saw the rainbow, now you have to be funny. Or defined by humor. You're... too distant without being cold or angsty." Poofy Pink Pony posited.
"I am not interested in being defined by one emotion."
"And that's why you're tied up." the Sulky one said. "If you're not going to be Pinkie, you shouldn't be pink."
"I see, 'Dying is easy, Comedy is hard'."
"Aand then you throw out one liners like that, or sarcastic thoughts. Inconsistent."
"She could be like one of the Warlorn's - " The Berry Boy began.
"We don't talk about that!" Several shades shouted.

Waves of seawater began inundating the inner-scape.

"Please, please, just tell me what to do... don't... don't be broken, ok? Please?" Twilight was at her wit's end.
Diane touched her own cheek gently, "...oww. I see that striking me did not work. This is... worrying." .
"Diane, what is going on?"

"I am not entirely certain. What I do know is that they don't mean any harm, likely far from it. I am... after we sort out the current disaster I believe I will need your help-"

"Of course!"
'Count to ten, breathe...' "... looking into the matter. Right now an external problem will help me focus. Where to?"

"The Marketplace, whoa!" Twilight scrabbled for balance as she was lifted off the ground, suspended over a pink pony.

"We likely have little time for dramatics, simply hold on as tightly as you can-without causing asphyxiation."
"Diane, what are you-" She hadn't screamed like this since she was a filly, and with less cause then.

"Well, we can't wait any longer, they're starting to move. We'll just have to hope they arrive when we need them." 'Ugh, such unnecessary dramatics always set me on edge.' Rarity was... less than pleased.

The four ponies began making their way toward the now large gathering. Only two of the creepy caped 'cultists' were visible now. One surveyed the crowd and nodded to the other, a switch was thrown. The stack of wood and brass on the mammoth cart flipped over, half falling to the side with a mechanical groan that repeated several times.

Clack, whump thump clack, clack thump clack, whump, whump whump. Spidery metal legs had sprouted from the bottom of the unfolded portions of the platform as it unfolded at a rapid pace... Clack, whump clack whump, thump thump thump... A space the size of a Hoofball Field had now unfolded. The gathering ponies watched in silence, unsure whether to applaud or flee.

The two figures reached up to pull their cloaks away from their heads, turning smug grins upon each other. Said the one to the other, "Well lookie what we've got here, brother of mine..."

Looking out, from every street
Ponies killing time, with no chances
Gazing into the distance, shuffling their feet
Doing jobs, no thrills, no will to survive.

So many times, foalhood leaves us too fast
Lose your passion and taste for Glory
But don't lose your grip, keep your dreams from the past
We will fight, just to keep them alive!

Meet the Elements of Glory, who thrill and excite,
Rising up, challengers without rival
Know wonder's revival, we amaze and excite,
Watch with us, the Elements of Glory!

Amazing Grace, untouched by defeat
Iron Hard, challenge hungry
Magic powers no god could defeat
Feel the thrill, hearts will race: feel alive!

Equestia's greatest Flier, an amazing sight,
Grand Gryphon, aerobatics without rival
Be grateful you see her onstage not in the dead of the night
Watch and be amazed by Gilda Skyraker, Element of Glory!

Sorceress Supreme, she is the top
Shining spells, filled with Glory
Great and Powerful Trixie, you'll know she never stops
She can best any pony alive!

The Iron Minotaur, one you don't want to fight
Powerful, wise, a warrior without rival
He will take you with him, be inspired by the sight
W. Bison is great, as an Element of Glory!

The Elements of Glory…
The Elements of Glory…
Sing it with me now, The Elements of Glory…
Raise the roof up folks, The Elements of Glory!

"Eh, seen better." 'Wait... 'Iron'... could it be Billy?' "Uh girls? I may-"

And then the stage exploded... fireworks shooting off in every direction, a legion of goats ran through the crowd, leaping onto the stage, only to disappear in the sulfurous pall left behind, walls and a ceiling clicked and clacked together, curtains furled in rich deep blues and crimsons. Screaming rockets barreled through the open sky, phosphorus colors making the blue seem wan and pale in comparison. Unseen speakers blasted music meant to excite, and from overhead a cloaked figure dived in at impressive speed, dropping off one, two, three, three figures before circling around and taking a place on stage.

"Good Evening Mares and Stallions, foals of all ages, I'm Flim, he's Flam-"
"-we are the Woorrrllld famous Flim-Flam Brothers, and theesee are..."
"... the ELEMENTS OF GLORY!" The crowd couldn't help but clomp and whistle.

"From the grim battlefields of Bovinia, we bring you the Iron Minotaur-"
"-General W. Bison! Behind those thews of steel is a mind that can master any battlefield-"
"-and the Will to lead any force to victory! Feeling motivated already? That's natural. But wait-"
"-there's more."

"Hailing from the sky clad Gryphon Lands, the Grand Gryphon herself-"
"-Gilda Skyraker! Fastest thing alive, she swoops, she soars!"
"Combining the greatest traits of nature's top predators-"
"-don't worry folks, paying customers have nothing to fear-"
"-steadfast and loyal, daring and deadly, if your heart has stopped-"
"-it's only because she's already stolen it!"

"And who is this figure? What do you behold?..." The brothers wove back and forth.
"... an enigma, a riddle wrapped in mystery..."
"... and black chitin, This sinister shape-shifter..."
"... the 'Mysterious Morpho'..." The third figure threw back his cloak to reveal an insectile pony.
"Is none other than a member of the forgotten race-", his wings buzzed, his horn gleamed.
"-from forbidden lore and lost legend, he's-". Green fire enveloped his form.
"-a Changeling! Now before you flee in panic folks..." He shifted, mimicking ponies from the crowd.
"...no need to fear, outcast of his hive..." He settled on the form of a handsome gray stallion with Green Hair.
"...for the tragic fact that he refuses to kill his prey-" ... with wicked fangs for teeth when he grinned.
"-you!" Flam pointed at a Tan Mare in the front row who promptly placed a hoof over her eyes and fainted.
"No... he only wants to feed on your love..." He reared back, becoming a pegasus.
"... for excitement!" The crowd was slightly more dubious in their applause, but were caught in the flow.

"Fillies and Colts, we have saved the best-"
"-for the last! From our own Heartland..."
"...from her hometown in Hoofington..."
"Lend a hoof for the ..."
"Great-"
"and Powerful-"
Both Brothers spoke as they swept into dramatic bows at her hooves,"TRIXIE LaMoon!"
Bedecked in Silver Breastplate and Hoofguards emblazoned with a midnight blue crescent Moon, her Deep purple hat bedecked with stars and moons, the rim traced with silver filigree. Behind her a purple cape flapped dramatically in a wind no pony could feel.

Using her magic, Trixie took the microphone from Flim's (or was it Flam's?) hoof, further fireworks flew furiously. "Citizens of Ponyville, rejoice because the Great and Powerful Trixie... and the 'elements of glory', has finally arrived in your village! We will now grace your humble lives with a taste of what is to come... the GREATEST SHOW IN EQUESTRIA!"

"I'm not sure this sets a good example for children. Who would follow a warrior anyway?" Fluttershy mused.
"Yay! The Gray and Powder-filled Trixie!" a unicorn filly cheered from atop her mother's head
"She's blue, Dinky." The gray pegasus corrected, shooting an embarrassed glance at Fluttershy.
"Ok, the Blue and Sorrowful Trixie!"

"Eh, could be about 20% cooler." 'Who'm I kidding this is... whoa, the 'taur can get some good air.'
"Now Ah really have seen everything." A faint keening noise could be heard, perhaps some new prop?

Rarity forced her mind to think, however much it rebelled. 'What... what the Buck is she doing!? Other than a triple Salcow with a Somersault while throwing sparklers... I have no idea what to do about this.'

"Oh, there you are, thank you girls for getting here so fast. If we do have another emergency it's reassuring that our local heroes will be ready to respond - but in this case, aheh." The Mayor took an apologetic tone," I... may have reached the wrong conclusion. I'll just discuss the importance of public use permits and business tax... after the show, of course."

"Well, h-how were you to know? They do seem to be consumate showpo-showpeople. I also think that I'd like to speak to the performers, but I see no harm in letting them continue their performance. Very well, girls I'm-" that noise, it was definitely getting louder, and not coming from the stage.

'Celestiadon'tletmedie,ohpleaseCelestiadon'tletmedie,ohpleaseCelestiadon'tletmedie...' Twilight's world was compressed to three things, the blur that was the outside world, the neck she clung to for dear life, and her racing heart. With effort she reasserted her ability to use the rational part of her mind. 'This isn't scientifically possible! The solution is-' With a sickening lurch her body returned to real time as the pink pony's progress paused, sliding the last fifty feet. Twilight would later swear that sparks ignited off the cobblestones where Diane dragged her hooves.

There are only a few ways to hold onto the neck of an equine while riding on it's back. Almost none of them help resist relativistic momentum when a pony stops moving at a high rate of speed over a very short distance. 'Oh, is this what flying feels like?' ...We're not flying, 'shut up.' Twilight arced gracefully through the air, over the audience, and crashed into the armored Minotaur. The noise distracted the gryphon as she dived headfirst at Celestia Darklight, a pitch black alicorn with negative rainbow hair and a skull emblazoned over a white sun for a cutie mark. The resulting crash tangled Gilda and the Changeling in guywires and stage lights.

The crowd gasped in awe, the show just kept getting better and better. If this was a preview, the show would be amazing!

"The Great and Powerful Trixie demands to know who is responsible for this! Show yourselves!" Twilight was unceremoniously plucked from atop Mt. Bison and levitated over to the upset unicorn. 'That amulet... this may be my chance. I just hope those two rubes I met earlier don't bungle their task...' "Twilight Sparkle! Why would you interrupt a performance by the Great and Powerful Trixie? Be honest, jealousy is unbecoming in a pony!"

"I, ugh, I honestly have no idea who you are. I know your name because you keep saying... omigosh, are you Miss Glamor, Rar-"

"She is with me Trixie, and your... associates terrified the Mayor so badly she thought you were an evil cult seeking to devour the citizens of Ponyville. I'm all in favor of a good show, but really, there is a difference between projection and yelling fire in a crowded theatre." Rarity and the other Elements stepped toward the stage. She raised an eyebrow, "and really, Elements of Glory?" The white unicorn realized her mistake the moment she had spoken.

"Oh, Flim?"
"Yes Flam?"
"I think we have-"
"a Challenger!" Further rockets shot off, pinwheels swirling colorful flames as the speakers blared a thump thump, crash sound.

"Hohoho... you think you can just trot up here and question the Great and Powerful Trixie at the height of her powers, surrounded by the Elements of Glory!? You're a bigger foal than I remember, and I remember EVERYTHING."

'I... I have created a monster. Stop that, there will be time for tears later, showing weakness now will only make this harder.' "You don't have to do this. We'll walk away. Whatever the damage to your stage, I'll pay to have it repaired. Trixie, I don't want to fight you."

"Well, how many of us are given what they want, repeatedly, on a silver bucking platter?" Her voice rose in pitch, becoming shrill. Behind her the 'Elements of Glory' glanced at each other dubiously as they untangled themselves.

"...tight. Too tight." Twilight gasped for air. Trixie spared her a glance and tossed her off the stage, releasing her magic.

Rainbow Dash was under her before she had started falling downward, Fluttershy slowing her descent. "We've got you, you're ok..." Soothed the butter yellow pony.

More music spooled up as Trixie struck a pose, "Since you asked sooo nicely, I'll introduce you to the Elements of Glory:" the three knew their cues and lined up, dramatic poses all around. "Iron Will, Element of Determination! Gilda, Element of Grace! Morphus, Element of Mystery. Annnnd to round out their number, the Element of Power, The Great and Powerful Me!" The stage lights went out and the crew seemed to disappear. "Since I doubt any of you ever studied Advanced Mathematics, allow me to demonstrate how Four can be greater than Six!"

"Here's the plan my thespian friends, Trix is obviously gunning for the White Unicorn, Morphus you distract the Purple Unicorn. Will, you'll keep the two earth ponies busy - keep an eye on the pink one, she looks odd to me." Flim muttered as costume changes were made.

"Gilda, you can handle a couple of puny pegasi right?" Flam stroked the Gryphon's ego while applying gold dust to her wingtips.

"I can take any pony alive. But, is that the real..."
"Yes indeedy, when Trix picks she doesn't take half measures, that's the 'Hurricane'."
Gilda's eyes narrowed, "that's all I needed to know. I beat her and my rep is set. You just keep your part of the bargain, I ain't doing this pony show forever."

Flim smiled sweetly as the curtain started to rise, "no... just long enough to settle your debts, Ms. 'Skyraker'."

"Ok, no idea what their goal is, everypony try to stay together because I'm sure they want us-" Rarity was interrupted when a stream of bottle rockets began barraging her, giving her barely enough time to raise a slim shield as she ran for cover-and away from audience members.

"Oh for Celestia's sake, are we really-" Jackie's thought was interrupted by 300 pounds of high-grade high-speed beef on two hooves impacting right next to her, shattering cobblestone. "Billy, that is you! You doggone son of a gun, what in hay is the big idear?"

"The big idea! Oof, get over there and we'll talk The Big idea is you become an apple pancake!"
"You leave mah second cousin outta' this!" Jackie darted back and to the side, toward the nearest exit from the square.

"Eiya!" Diane discovered that the Minotaur's armor was genuine as she hurt her hoof trying to kick him in the head. 'That makes no sense, how can he leap around and perform those acrobatic maneuvers while wearing what must be an extra hundred pounds of metal?'

"Dash, Duck!" Fluttershy shouted. In defiance of all laws of comedic timing, the Rainbow pony was able to dive to the ground and avoid the gnashing gryphon. "You get away from her, you Beak!"

"Challenge accepted, time to reap the Hurricane!" 'Run little pony, it'll look better.'

"C'mon, we've got to help them! Trixie's cheating and the others are all monsters." Spike urged the three fillies.
"B-but what kin we do... no, yer raight. Family's got to stick together. But we're going to need some tools..."
"You mean like these babies?" Scootaloo spat out the handle of the little red wagon she had been trailing.
"Oh wow, Scoot is that what I think it is?" the unicorn filly squeaked.

"So, hah, Changeling huh? Never thought I'd actually see one. Am I whoa, am I now?"
"Hreh, I'm the real deal. Move that way a little, ha!"
"Ok, a few questions..."
"Only a few?"
"I like, whoa, like to draw my own conclusions. First, aren't you part of a hive-mind."

"We're only partially hived, and I - uh - lost my connection. Happens every few seasons, a few of us drones wander too far from the hive; once our connection is lost, we're written off as dead."

"That's - Watch it! Terrible."
"It's just life, there's already too many mouths to feed. Anyway, most of us just perish - I personally think they're the lucky ones. Some of us develop a sense of individuality like I did, but I suspect we still don't last long. From what I can piece together, I'm the fourth 'Morpho' so far."

"So, ugh, why do this?"
"Because an independent Changeling is capable of siphoning off different emotions, and Flim figured out how to get us hooked on adrenaline. That's... that's part of why you're not completely panicked right now."

"Wait, you're draining me!? I thought you said you weren't trying to kill me!" Twilight began to rethink the truce.
"Not actively, and we don't kill. Would you chop down an apple tree because you were hungry?"

"What!? No, that'd be wasteful and you'd run out of... I see. But, I also wouldn't just trust there to be enough apple trees in the surrounding area for me to get one when I wanted an apple."

"Yeah, hive policies aren't really my fault though. Drone, remember?"
"Wait, aren't drones normally-"
"Yes, although for us it really doesn't mean much unless you're Queen. Flam thought a masculine persona would be more intimidating."

"Well that's... whew, I don't see anypony watching us, can we take a break? Thanks. That's awful mercenary of them."

"What, enslaving me through my food? Trixie's the only one here voluntarily, and the brothers play her like an accordion. I just don't think they realize she's a time-bomb."

"And the others?"
"Will they have through gambling debts. Gilda is technically wanted in connection to some crime or other."
"How do they keep getting away with this!?"

"They just keep moving, you ponies aren't very good at coordinated communication between distant cities and small towns. I suppose it comes from lacking racial telepathy."

"Whew, thanks for the break. Oh, and hold that thought." Creeper vines tore up from the earth and wrapped the changeling's limbs tightly. In a panic the creature tried shifting shape, but the numerous vines continued to entangle the creature. "Please, I don't want to hurt you, but by your own admission I can't really trust you. We'll find a way to help you, just, just sit tight."

"Funny."

'Well, she's fast, sharp from five ends, bigger than me, and ... seems more interested in showing off than actually hurting me. Although, she does keep taking shots at my wing feathers.'

"So, your name is Gilda? Is Skyraker really your family name?"
"No, that horseapples the brothers came up with, you couldn't pronounce my family name."

Fluttershy banked into a sharp climb, the gryphon matching her if not able to overtake her. 'One shot at this...' "One more question if you please. How did you solve the icing problem?"

"The what?" The two fliers broke the last cloud layer, the air becoming thinner and the temperature dropped rapidly. Lingering moisture in their wings froze quickly, causing both fliers to stall and plummet toward the earth below.

Halfway down, the ice on Fluttershy's wings began to crack, and she removed most of the rest with a couple of powerful beats, pulling herself closer to the frozen gryphon.

"Rainbow Dash came up with a conductive threat she weaves through the down layer of my wings. Takes a little getting used to, but they you can almost forget it's there until you preen them." Placing her hooves under the Gilda's forelegs, she pulled them our of their dive into a controlled landing. "Don't worry, I won't drop you."

"How are you doing this!?"
"I made a promise to myself a long time ago. I won't let anypony fall, ever again."
"I'm not a pony!"
"No, you aren't. Hmm... we do that without even thinking about it. I'm sorry Gilda, I won't let anyBody fall."
"C-confound you!"

"Gambling debts!? What kind of idiotic weak willed-whoa! Watch it there pal, a pony could get hurt."

"Sorry, I guess my motivation is stronger than I thought. But yeah, had a bad patch about three years back. Found my way back out, but the Flim-Flams had bought up all my bad debts. Started out as a sweet sounding deal. I work off my debt performing and I could do seminars after the shows, use the cash to work my debt down while helping folks respect themselves. Win-win in my book. The brothers had another book, marked 'schedule' and there was never any room for my act afterwards in it."

"As interesting as your tragic past is, I am curious how you are able to maneuver while wearing heavy hunks of metal."

"The brothers are pretty good at enchantment, the bracers and the shin guards increase my strength, and... I think the belt makes me... lighter or something?" The Minotaur answered the pink one.

"That's just what I wanted to hear." Rainbow Dash darted past from the side, flicking a set of bolt-cutters with her wings to carefully clip the supports for part of Iron Will's armor. Two more passes with Diane and Jackie running cover for her and the juggernaut just couldn't move anymore. "I've had a couple ideas while this was going down. Remind me to talk to ya' after we get this all sorted. For now, do us all a favor and stay down."

Fluttershy came in at a controlled crash, depositing the grounded gryphon upon the immoble minotaur. Twilight staggered in from a side alley, perking up when she saw her friends, and grinning when she saw they were triumphant. "Ok, is Rarity still..." she listened to the far off explosions and didn't bother asking, "ok, I think I've got a plan..."

"You've been doing some exercise, Rarity Bell, Trixie doesn't remember you being able to run this long before!"
"Ahh, Field Research, you tend to build up - Hah! - Stamina, or you move into 'pure' research pretty quickly. I -urgh- prefer to do my own digs."

"Oho, so you're working for the university now? Where are all your principles now? 'Never take a Tenured position' ha!"

"I'm an Assistant Professor. They won't let the tenured ones go out on assignment." Rarity raised a shield wall to give herself a moment to catch her breath. 'We can't continue this much longer, I'm going to get angry, then I'm going to stop her and I don't know if it will be worse if I harm her physically or emotionally.' "Trixie, look at what you're doing to the town-"

"Take some pride in your work! This is all your doing, YOU MADE ME!"
Rarity sighed, dropping her shield and catching the latest round of rockets, diverting them skyward. "You made me as well. Of all the things I have ever said, that was the one thing I regret. There really is no such thing as an average pony."

"You should stick to your day job, mouthing pieties suits you poorly."
"Every pony is special."
"If every pony is special then none ar-"
"It only works that way if all you look at are the numbers."
"Oh, you mean rationally?"
Rarity raised an eyebrow, "Is this an entirely rational display on your part?"
"You should be happy, I'm using my special talent. Stage Magic, misdirection, and cheap tricks!"

'Misdirection?' She leapt without thought, which saved her life. Buildings tore like balsa wood as an enraged four story tall bear made of night sky raged through the edge of town.

Two colts raced like... an Ursa Major was after them, tears flying as they dove to the hooves of the Great and Powerful Trixie. "We got the bear, your magnificence. Bu-but it almost ate Snips, like three times."

"Oh well done my faithful servants, you will be remembered when I rule this land. For now take cover as I vanquish the Ice Princess and free this land of Tyranny one step at a time!"

'Surely you're joking. Trixie, nopony can hope to defeat an Ursa Major, how is anypony going to survive this!? I can no longer afford half measures, Subtle's death will be on my conscience forever but I can't let an entire city die for one pony.' "Well, you certainly do know how to get a girl to take you seriously. Ok Trixie, no more playing around. Stop this right now or I WILL end this."

The bear leaned down to snarl at the blue unicorn. 'No!' Trixie leapt to the side and called a zephyr to throw her skyward, using magic to land on the bear's head. Immediately she began throwing out her most powerful spells, the Ursa's eyes began to swirl in many colors. 'Hhow, how in Equestria can she?' The bear focused on Rarity and there was no time for further indulgence in anything but desperate survival.

Apples, buckets, an overripe watermellon, even small carts only served to momentarily distract the monster as Rarity flung anything in reach to buy time and space so she could plan. 'This is madness, but if I don't stop this thing...'

Five friends arrived in the remains of the central market area to see a giant blue bear with a blue unicorn on its head assaulting a hopelessly outmatched white unicorn. "Oh no, she's facing an Ursa Minor! We've got to help her!"

Rainbow Dash couldn't resist, she turned to Twilight, "Ok, if that's a Minor, what's a Major look like?"
"Trust me, you don't want to know."
"Am I the only one getting tired of being upstaged by stage magic?" Jackie asked. Four heads shook in response.
"Hey, Diane, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Twilight asked.
"If we can somehow make use of the huge expenditure of magic you performed in the meeting hall back during the Summer Sun Incident?"

"Well, no, I wasn't but I'm going with your idea instead. In fact... yeah, yeah. Gather round girls, I don't think we'll have time to go over this again..."

The Ursa roared. "Do you hear that Rarity? It is the sound of Inevitability!"
"If you're going to kill me, have the decency to use the giant bear and not your atrocious stage acting!"

"I know you've been looking into what's happening to our world, so you know some of what is coming. Unlike you, I embraced the truth, our age is coming to an end. Only by accepting this can ponies survive. Why stop an 'Ancient Evil' when you can twist it to your will? Oh, I suppose you've already done that? What is that like, having the Moon Princess so desperately grateful to you?"

"Trixie, your mother-"
"Don't you talk about my Mother!" The bear redoubled its efforts, crashing headlong through buildings and raking the road surface to rubble.

Fluttershy shot past, shouting something about... Meeting Hall? Before striking a glancing blow to the Astral Bear. Rarity briefly considered insisting on finishing her own fight, and briefly considered becoming a corpse, she opted for neither of those choices. Instead she ran for the Town Hall. Trixie's bear gave pursuit, proving its size did not prevent it from reaching great speed and gaining on her by the stride. Nearly neck and neck at the entrance to the Town Hall, Rarity found herself snatched skyward by yellow hooves. The Ursa Minor was unable to slow or turn in time, crashing into and through the main door.

The entire building creaked and groaned, posts burst from their moorings, growing new branches and sprouting leaves as the entire structure transformed into a small grove of tall trees meshing their branches and trapping the star bear within. Trixie barely had time to fling herself free before the trap was inescapable. Landing on the ground she took a breath to plan how she could turn this around, and found herself trapped under a large cargo net that seemed to fall from the clear sky.

Twilight and the others trotted up, Fluttershy gently depositing Rarity on the ground. The purple pony examined the enmeshed bear and netted pony. "Wow, that worked far better than I thought. Who came up with the net?" The mares looked at each other in confusion.

"Oh, that would just be the bravest fillies in Ponyville, and the greatest assistant squared." Spike modestly proclaimed, helping Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo roll their miniature catapult over.

"Ok, I'll bite, what's an assistant squared?" Rainbow asked, expecting a terrible pun.
"Assistant to an Assistant Professor." he quipped. 'Aand I'm not disappointed.' Rainbow thought.

Rarity limped toward the captured stagemare, "Trixie, it's over. You've lost. Just listen to me."
"I had everything planned, this would have worked, if it weren't for those meddling kids!"
"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. Now about your mother-"
"I was trying to find a power to heal her you horrible-"
"-ABOUT YOUR MOTHER. She IS the reason she's not healing. She's refusing to let the magic work unless she sees you. I don't have the time or the energy to put this 'nicely', if you continue to refuse to see her, you will be killing her."

There was a moment, one single moment, where the Stage Magician considered oblivion. If she had been able to she would have ended the world. She couldn't and she didn't, and since she had to go on living she gave up. She gave up her plans, her hatreds, her ambitions and spites. They would take some time leaving, like guests after a long visit, but already she felt lighter, if hollow. "...fine... I want to see her."

"...alright then. There is one more thing I want you to do..."

Half the town assembled in the ruins of downtown Ponyville, emotions ran from shock, despair, anger, horror, to utter disbelief. The once great and formerly powerful Trixie stood, an iron clamped to her back left leg.

She looked upon the masses, a single tear shed. She closed her eyes and spoke, loud and clear with projection that spoke of years of training and practice, but with none of her usual bravado. "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended: that you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear and this weak and idle theme no more yielding but a dream. Ponies - do not reprehend, if you pardon, we will mend." Rainbow light flashed outward to envelop the town, a white noise roaring at deafening volume but soothing in its intensity. When the light faded, the city was whole, the unicorn unseen, and some ponies looked at each other just to be sure they hadn't hallucinated the entire event.

Most would eventually agree it was at least the second best performance to ever be seen in Ponyville.

Dear Princess Luna,

Wow, have I got a story for you. So Rarity had this friend in College named Trixie, real low self-confidence girl. She compensated by putting on this personality of like unbelievable arrogance. One day Rarity showed her up by accident, and when they got into a fight... well Rarity teased her maybe more than she should have. It happens.

So Trixie dives completely into her 'Great and Powerful' act, picks a fight with a pyromancer trying to set herself a reputation. Twilight thinks she was planning on 'reflecting' the pony's fireball whatever that means. Rarity saw it and stopped the whole thing, but she was freaked out. Who wouldn't be, right? So she figures, 'I let her get away with this and she's just going to do the same thing next week, and eventually I won't be there to stop her from getting hurt.' so she tries to make Trixie admit she's all talk. Yeah, turns out Trixie's mom was in the area, heard there was a conflict, and comes in seeing what she thinks is Rare choking her kid. Automatic Postal like right there.

So Rare drops the roof on Mom-zilla, Trix runs off. End of story, right? Yeah, no. Trixie lured some crazy ass bear monster-an Ursa Minor, thanks Twi, figures out how to direct the thing at Rarity and long story short the kids save the day. Yeah, epic, I know. I got to wrestle a Minotaur, so it wasn't all bad.

Losing my train of thought here, the point is that this all happened because of self confidence. The whole thing. What Rarity wanted Trixie to say back in school was some horseapples like 'I am an average pony', what total bunk right? Every pony is important to somepony, and they all deserve a shot at being happy. Turns out, that sort of applies to the pony themselves, they-we-I have to let myself be happy. I made my own mistake a while ago, not ready to discuss that, but what I will say, and what I think you might need to consider too is: 'How can I love anypony else if I don't love myself?'

Look, I'm going to do my best. You too, ok? By the way, really been enjoying the night's sky since you took the gig back, yeah we could tell when you did.

your friend,
Rainbow Danger Dash

Dearest Jacqueline,

All you ever had to do was write. Of course we want to see you.

The one condition that we have is that you make your visit next month, so that you can attend your new Cousin Valencia's third birthday. Of course the rest of the family is invited.

With all our hearts we forgive you. Whoever your friend is, please give her our heartfelt thanks and a warm hug.

your loving aunt,
Clementine Orange

Coda:

They hadn't stopped running until the sun was down. Flim gasped for breath as he leaned against his twin brother, his only support - just like always. Flam panted and considered what had gone wrong, other than "everything". It had worked so well for a while, and the unicorn had seemed like the ideal addition to the show. "I just don't know what went wrong brother."

"Well hay, if that's all, I could tell you that. Happy workers don't try to destroy your stages." Both unicorns started at the voice from the tree they had stopped under, but couldn't find the energy to run. "You guys come up with some amazing stuff, I looked through the wreckage. But, when it comes to dealing with other ponies, you're kind of jerks, kind of really really jerks. I don't know what made you like that, right now I don't even care. What I do care about is that you two aren't running around on your own setting up more horseapples like this."

The blue pegasus dropped from the tree and began pacing toward the two. "So right now you have to decide, do I turn you over to the Authority of Equestria, or do you accept whatever judgement I decide you deserve. Don't just blurt an answer and for Pete's sake don't think you can outhink, outfight, or outrun me. Just ask yourself, do you punks feel lucky?"

"If it's all the same to you miss, I have never seen the inside of a jail-cell and am not interested in finding out what it looks like. So if you have some brand of 'country justice' cooked up, just... get it over with." The other brother nodded.

"Ok, first we take you back to my shop. Then you spend the next month doing community service, and then we discuss next year's version of the show..."

************************************************************************************************
Next Episode: A Variant Season, Between Friends

A Variant Season, Between Friends

A Variant Season

Between Friends

To Assistant Professor Rarity Bell,

You never cease to amaze me. Returning an Ursa Minor, unharmed, to it's natural habitat. Restoring most of the damage caused by its rampage, and finding time to write personal notes to my sister, who is doing quite well lately. I simply don't know what to say, other than 'Good job' which I rather think you might be insulted by, so forget I mentioned it - but do pass along my congratulations to your friends. I must say I'm surprised you were unable to apprehend any of the parties responsible, but between justice and mercy I suspect we lean in the same direction.

Concerning said Individuals, should you or the other Elements ever happen to run into one, the following decrees have been made:

Mr. Iron Will has been forgiven his debts from gambling, the establishments he partook in have come under investigation for fraudulent practices.

Gilda Rarsquawk is still wanted for questioning, although no longer as prime suspect, in a case of agravated assault. It appears the previous investigator may or may not have had certain... prejudices. It is interesting for me to note that a gryphon was recently hired by Ponyville's weather team, and though I'm certain there is no relation, I wish Miss 'Newleaf' all the best of luck adjusting to life in Equestria.

Trixie Glamor was only wanted on several minor cases of fraud that have reached their statute of limitations. I have not received any official reports on damages from Ponyville and therefore cannot issue a warrant.
You may also be pleased to hear that your former teacher, Subtle Glamor, is making moderate but promising recovery in her latest round of medical healing spells.

Flimmond and Flambert Barbershop are both wanted for multiple counts of fraud, flagrant ignorance of safe food handling practices, and repeated counts of Public Performance without a license. Also, their sisters wish to be assured of their continued wellbeing... there simply is no accounting for family, is there?

We have no active reports of a Changeling colony anywhere within the territory of Equestria but take such things very seriously. Further investigation is warranted and will be carried out as soon as we can discover where to begin a comprehensive search. Please, if you have ANY further information send it. ANYTHING.

I must commend you and your friends on your continuous attention to my sister's recovery. Sadly, as of now it would be politically impossible for her to visit you, and unfeasible for me to arrange official visits for your friends to see her. However, there is a unicorn ward of the crown who could use periodic mentorship if your friends can find more room in their hearts. I'm sure that Midnite Newmoon would be just like an old friend in no time.

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia

"So you see, it's not that you took my material that I'm upset about. It's that you didn't ask, the price isn't even an issue.' Rainbow sighed,"Look, if I thought it'd make you happy, I could probably get you anything you wanted. The thing is, stuff isn't what makes us happy." 'When the hay did I get so sappy?'

Rainbow looked down at the orange filly. 'Why's she still so afraid? I said the material wasn't important, it's not like I'm going to kick her... oh crud.' She dived before the filly even realised Dash had moved, wrapping her forelegs and wings around the child. "Hey, hey listen to me. I'm not going to send you away. If you have to, go ahead and keep testing the boundaries, heh, in design we called that 'testing to failure' but you know what? I will NEVER fail you. You can't make me hate you, so just stop worrying about it... when you can."

Scootaloo shifted uncomfortably but made no real effort to escape. "Testing to failure? Jeez, you sound like an egghead."

"Pays the bills, my little Chickadee."
"Augh, how do you manage to be so uncool? You should be, like, a natural–but every time you open your mouth you ruin it." The words were complaints, but the tone was relief.

"Ok, so your punishment is... show me what you made."
"What!? Th-that's not a punishment."
"My shop, my rules. Or, do I have to show you who's boss again?" Rainbow tickled the filly.
"Ok, ok... ugh. mumble grumble mushy stuff... here."

Rainbow Dash took the yellow cap, looking at it, turning it this way and that, noticing how the pink yarn on the top was just long enough to flap in the wind but too short to ever be caught in a stray branch or get in a pegasus's eyes... "Hey, kid, can I get one of these?"

"But ah don't Understand! Ya came back, you're already here. Whai do ya' gotta leave again? How old am Ah gonna be th' nex'time you decide to stop bah?" This was turning out to be much harder than Jackie had feared.

Mac had been easy. Jackie had told him, he'd said 'Eyup', grabbed her in a hug and said not to take so long coming back next time. Granny had told her she wasn't done wandering yet, with a heavy undertone of expecting Grandfoals at some point 'Nope, not awkward at all.' Applebloom ... well she was different. 'And why shouldn't she be? What have I ever done to earn her her trust? - I just can't do this, I've got to have some measure of freedom. The Acres will always be my home base, but if I can't ever leave the walls will close in on me.'

"Look, little sister, Harvest Season is over, you're going to school. Short of a random Zap Apple harvest there's hardly nothing for me to be doing around here. I'll be back soon, a month or two. I... it's just something I have to do. You are my family, I will come back to you. I will come back to You." She touched her sister's cheek gently. "I'd leave you my hat as word of bond, but you could sleep in it more easy than you could wear it. Oh, what the hay, take it anyhow."

Applebloom knocked the hat away. "Ah don't WANT your stupid hat! Alright, you want ta know why I don't want you to go, ASIDE from that ah'll be missin' you even more now that I actually got ta' meetcha? It's that darn Diamond Tiara! Filthy's kid, she's the meanest, cruellest, ornriest filly this side of th' Everfree-an' Ah reserve judgement on th' other side!"

"And just what does this little filly do that is so horribly, unspeakably, downright nastily terrible?"
"She makes fun of me! Makes fun of th' way we talk, makes fun of me not havin' a rich Pa like she does..."
"Does... does she tease you about our parents?" Jackie's voice had gone deadly quiet.

"Well, no, she's never said that. But... but she implies stuff. All the durn tahm, she's implyin' this or that."

"Look, sometimes it's best to assume a pony is just stupid before assuming they're being mean. Listen to Granny if'n you won't listen to me: 'Always assume stupidity over malice'."

"Oh she ain't dumb, she gets good grades on almost everythin'. Lords that over me too."
"Well, why do you spend so much time around her if she's so intolerable?"
"Ah don't! But whenever I'm alone, she comes by with her sidekick, Silver Spoon. What?"

'Don't laugh...' "I shouldn't say, but I would be a little nicer to Miss Spoon, somepony needs to." 'Sure won't be parents who'd name her THAT.'

Jackie tried another angle. "What about your friends?" Apple Bloom avoided eye contact and mumbled at the floor. "Bloom, you look at me. Don't you have any friends? What about the candy maker's daughter, Twist?"

Applebloom began crying softly. "Ah, ah told her we couldn't be friends anymore... not until I got mah Cutie Mark."
"You did what? Root and branch, girl, you march over to her house right now and you apologize to her."
"Wha-but it's not mah fault she went and got her Cutie Ma-"

"It ain't her fault neither. Here she's just had a happy moment in her life, and you're so jealous you go and try to ruin it! That is not the Apple way. Now you respect your older sister-"

"Why, have y'seen her? She disappears whenever Ah'm not looking!" Anger was easier than guilt.
"My failings are not an excuse for you to make bigger ones. You don't treat friends like that!"

"Why not, you do!" 'Just a little too close to home there. Can't let her keep shifting blame though.'
"I do not want to spank you, but if nopony else will do the job..." 'Nonono! Why,why,why can't I keep my fool mouth shut!?'

"Don't you come near me! Nopony gets that job, 'cause Mama's dead, and you weren't even here to try out for it!" Applebloom fled the house, fleeing her own words, fleeing the look of hurt and horror on her sister's face, trying to flee the sinking suspicion that she was in the wrong.

Jackie watched her run, 'what right do I have to stop her? What right did I have to come back here in the first place? I knew I wouldn't just suddenly become the farm pony I hadn't been before. Now I'm just destroying whatever fragile arrangement they had before. I should go now.' And she almost did. 'Oh don't you dare. Nopony runs out on my family twice, not even me. I can't even think about leaving until I settle this.'

Dear 'Jackie',

I know my letter will reach you after my darling Clementine's does. That is because it took me longer to write mine, and I suppose because I was still upset when she had already forgiven you. Oh don't get worked up, I have forgiven you too. I know we aren't related by blood, but I still feel a fondness for you. Never forget that betrayal requires a sense of trust in the first place.

A more pleasant subject I have to discuss with you is the Musical Band your two friends formed all those years ago. I suppose nopony ever told you that after the concert tour I helped them establish a Business to manage the rights to their songs? Orange Music, which has turned out to be one of the best investments I ever made. Miss Scratch sold her shares some four years ago, I forget what she needed that much money all at once for, but Miss Strings is still one of our founding members.

If you ever see Miss Scratch again, please let her know I'd be interested in setting up an annuity for her based on her songs. Call me old fashioned but I believe one should never forget the ponies who help you on your way up, they're the same ones you will see on your way back down.

I'm curious if you have kept up on your mathematics studies, you certainly picked up accountancy quite quickly. Please do come and see us, we miss you, and it would mean so much for you to meet Valencia. I imagine you've become quite the role model with your many experiences.

your Uncle,
Orange Grove

"But Why can't I go with you? Professors teach, and you work in a college, so kindergarten should be a snap for you."

"Sweetie Bell, we have been over this. First addressing the last, the different stages of school are not equivalent, nor are they some sliding scale. I have know Miss Cherilee since grade school, she is a dedicated and excellent teacher of foals, you would be hard pressed to find a better teacher. What you are learning isn't simply knowledge, you must learn to get along with other ponies. Thirdly, I'm not going anywhere, I will be based right here in Ponyville, never gone for longer than three days at a time. You cannot get rid of me that easily."

"What if I don't like the other ponies?"
"You especially need to learn to get along with those ones."
"Well, can you at least teach me how to take them apart with words like you do?"

"Sweetie! I... I don't do that anymore. It was a mean mean thing to do, I don't want to hear another word from you about continuing the tradition. Imagine if Father had continued picking fights... You and I wouldn't even be here; can you imagine Mother falling in love with a brute?" 'It's almost harder than imagining her cooking something edible - Stop that, you just told her you wouldn't do that anymore.'

Her sister did not appear swayed. Rarity sighed, "If you want to defeat some other pony, try love and tolerance... isn't that what you'd expect 'Hurricane Fluttershy' to try first?" 'Forgive me Fluttershy, they truly do look up to you. A little hero worship never hurt anypony... too much.'

Rarity felt bad for it, but her first feeling when Sweetie's eyes lit up was suspicion. "Of course! Thanks, sis, you're right!" A quick hug and she was out of the library before Rarity could stop her.

The Mayor let out a heavy sigh, "Look, Miss Diane, I simply don't know what to tell you. If this 'Zecora' character wishes to be recognized by Ponyville, she will have to come in and register just like anypony else."

"She is not a pony, she is a Zebra. Your mistake is understandable, and even slightly egalitarian."

"Young lady, don't try to impress me with five bit words! I would expect the same from a gryphon or a donkey, even a pony from Phillydelphia who wanted to become a citizen would have to apply in pon-in person!"

"What about a dragon?" 'I do not seek to cause you trouble Spike, but I must use every tool available to me.'
"I'm sorry? What about a dragon?"
"Heathspike Bell, registered son of Rarity Bell. Is. A. Dragon. Really, if you see him it's hard to miss."

"Wh-his registration came from Canterlot, and his legal guardian registered in person. We can't always go bending the rules just because we find them inconvenient."

"Then why is the registration office always closed on the Days Ms. Zecora comes to town, along with all the shops in town. She hardly even bothers anymore because it's so consistent."

"Well I hardly see how it is the fault of local government if your Zebra friend has a bad sense of timing."

"Madame Mayor, I am the embodiment of the Element of Kindness, please refrain from making me regret my position. If you will not see reason, I shall begin a campaign of love and tolerance you shall not soon forget."

"That doesn't even make any sense."
"I wish you a nice day and further enlightenment."

'Ok, what's the plan? Dye half the Townsfolk with white stripes so everypony sees that a pattern isn't anything to make you less a pony?'
"That is a ridiculous plan that would not even work."
'You should just nail shut the door of every shopkeep who closes on her. Let them see what it's like not to have a choice if their doors open.'
"Counterproductive, disturbing, and I never want you to speak again - the inside of my head feels unclean now."
'Well I think-' a chorus of tiny voices groaned.
"You will let him speak."
"Wow, thanks Di, nopony ever-"
"I Believe I said 'speak', not dither."
'Of, of course. You should throw a big party and once all the ponies show up, just have her show up.' A grumbling consensus agreed that was, in fact, the obvious solution.

"Intriguing, but not my way of doing things. If it will stop you from coming up with more 'helpful suggestions' I will tell you what I plan: Nothing."
'Mmm, not bad. Not very entertaining, but yeah, that could work.'
"...perhaps I will reserve a hollow cake as a backup."
'See? There's hope for you yet.'
"Now all of you be quiet."

To Her Royal Majesty, Princess Celestia,

Thank you ever so much for sending a note of thanks to your humble servants. We of course will continue to serve the best interests of Ponyville and the Nation as a whole. I am afraid that I have not in fact had the privilege of writing a personal note to Princess Luna, although I plan to in the next few days, but when Rainbow Dash and Twilight sent their letters I asked to be remembered to her along with everypony else.

As for the unfortunate individuals involved in that frightful incident recently, we haven't seen a single one since the 'dust settled' as it were. I am assured by Miss Newleaf that 'Gilda' is a very common name among her people, much like Hoof or Hooves is for us. I am quite aware of all the AVAILABLE information about changelings due to my... previous study, but if anything else does come to light I assure you I will share ALL information I acquire. Free and open communication is so very important, don't you think?

I was not aware Wards of the Crown kept their family names, and in this case I would suggest dropping it - she sounds like a bad joke about my friend Twilight. However, I can always use another friend, especially one who is exactly like an old friend, and would love to meet Miss 'Midnite'.

Your humble and studious servant,
Assistant Professor Rarity Bell.

Twilight's face couldn't seem to contain a single emotion for any length of time. "You, but I... she'd been making so much progress before... no, it isn't all your fault. Argh!" The worst part was she was secretly pleased to be dragged into the mess, no matter how ashamed that satisfaction made her.

"It ain't fer me. You have to realize how much it hurts me to come to you... wait, no, it hurts my Pride to come to you. But it's not about me, or not only me. 'Bloom... she's the little sister I never had - but Do have."

"I... recognize the feeling." she waited for another grimace from the orange pony, and was pleasantly disappointed.
"That's about right, isn't it? We neither of us deserve what we have, but have got to earn it, for her sake."
"I don't see why I don't... ok, ok. Of course I'll help, but I don't see what I can do."

"Well, at the moment, you can talk to her. We... both said things better left unsaid. I'm old enough to let go, but she'll still see what she said if she talks to me, and that's worse than if I'd been the only one saying hurtful things."

'I know a bit about family guilt trips.' Twilight's ears went back further, but she didn't add anything. 'Keep going.'

"See, I was trying to tell her about me needing to leave the farm for a-"
"You're what!?"
"Not now, obviously!"

"But why would you tell her that?"
"You are not seriously suggesting that I should have crept out the back door without a 'by your leave' are ya?"
"Of course not! But why do you have to leave in any case?"

"I'm... more of a tumble-weed than an Apple at this point. I will come back here, help the harvests and celebrate the holidays, but ... it's like, if I can leave it's easier for me to stay, but if I feel caged I want to break free."

"Jackie, I had no idea... wait... ok, we need to settle this between you and Applebloom, but I may have a solution to your other problem - at least a way to make things easier on everypony." 'If it works with a letter, why not a pony? Magic doesn't care about a difference...'

She finished pulling the last loose board from the north side. 'Kay, the underlyin' structure's right enough, it's the cladding that was bad. Could probably use some better support though.' She flinched when she recognized the sound of hoofbeats, relaxing when she recognized the cadence as the familiar beat of a purple pony, not a hint of orange.

"I know you're up there, I can hear you breathing." '...not to mention the pile of rotten timber below, I'll have to ask Dash what kind of siding will last better. Heh, I bet she'll come up with some crazy concoction of her own... but I'd better let Apple Bloom do the installation, some part of this has got to make her realize-' Oh, that was a hug she was feeling.

"Please don't you be angry with me too. O-or disappointed, ah hate th' disappointment."
"I'm not upset with you Applebloom, nor is anypony else. Want to talk?"
"No, but yer gonna' insist, so ah'll just start anyhow. But, can we wait a minute?"

"Take your time, nopony is going anywhere..." 'Oh great, genius, find the one thing that's going to make her cry' '...This is neither the place or time for recrimination.'

"Things are just starting to be ok an' now she wants ta' leave? Am ah only worth seeing when ah'm a wreck?"

"Shh... she wasn't thinking about you. Hey, I'll tell you a secret: Big Ponies aren't any better at being happy, we just get better at concealing when we're upset."

The filly looked at her from lowered brows, "Yer... not real experienced at th'whole 'make a pony feel better' thing, are ya'? How'm ah supposed to look forward t'growin' up if things never get any better?"

"I never said they don't get better. For one thing, when you're old enough, you get to decide your own sleep schedule. What doesn't change is life and how you deal with it. You just have more experiences to call on, meet more ponies to help you, and discover how strong you really are. There are all kinds of things for you to look forward to... I, err, just don't want to spoil them." '...Liar' 'Shut up.' She smiled.

"Whell, there's one more obsta-problem before Ah kin think about gettin' any older."
"What...who would that be?" Twilight asked, knowing the answer but knowing even more that the filly had to speak it.
"...Diamond Tiara." 'Bingo.' ...YOLO 'ShutUP!' "and mah Cutie Mark, or lack therof y'could say."

"I think it's time I introduced you to a dear friend of mine by the name of Sun Hoof."
"...this's gonna involve more reading, isn't it?" Twilight just smiled and pulled out her well worn copy of The art of Pony War

To Instructor Cherilee Fields,

I am writing to you as a formality before I register my complaint with the school boards. If you are unable to control your students to a more satisfactory degree you will be held responsible for their actions. I will have you know that I am not, in fact, accustomed to having my concerns disregarded to such a degree.

There was a blatant assault upon my daughter's person and sense of wellbeing. At, of all places, her Cuteciñera. While that initial attack was off school grounds, the three ringleaders who I understand are now going by the bizarre gang name of "Cutie Mark Crusaders" continue to assault her on a daily basis at school, inducing their fellow classmates to follow suit.

For her part, my daughter - while putting on a brave front - has been in declining spirits. Yesterday she was afraid to ask the maid to clean after her. I will not stand for these underhoofed tactics of intimidation, I will have satisfaction!

I do not think that hiding behind our local heroes excuses such actions, and will explain such to them. I am not afraid to stand up for my beliefs, and woe betide anypony who threatens my family or good name.

With all possible sincerity,
Richard Firth

She was willing to let the Stallion stand there and stew for all eternity, but the others would be over soon and she was not about to let a boor ruin her plans. "Mr. Rich, I am of course deeply sorry that you are so upset. However, I must ask you: what exactly do you wish for me to do? Sweetie Bell will of course listen to any reasonable request I make of her, but what to ask?"

"You can tell the little... you can tell her to simply leave Diamond Tiara alone."

"Much as she 'left alone' my sister and her friends? Very well, for the sake of argument, let us suppose that I asked Sweetie to stop interacting with Diamond. Stop greeting her with a smile, stop laughing at every joke or sarcastic thing Diamond says. Stop convincing the other foals to come and play with Diamond during recess, and stop responding to her every act of malice and anger with tolerance and group hugs. Is that about what you are asking me, Mr. Rich?"

"Do you know, in the first of these... assaults, at a party being held for my daughter I might add, your sister's friend encouraged all the other fillies and colts to participate in their teasing by shouting 'we have to hug the evil out of her'!?"

"If there is anything I regret about the entire affair, it is that particular wording Applebloom used, Mr. Rich. We have of course explained what was wrong with saying that out loud, and I'll have you know that Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo all apologized to Diamond and assured her that they do not think she is inherently unkind, Mr. Rich."

"St-stop calling me that!"

"I thought you didn't appreciate being called by your first name? I was only trying to offer you at least as much respect as you deserve, Mr. ... err, what shall I call you?"

"You may call me a cart because I think we are done here!" 'Oh, no I don't think I shall. This is so much more rewarding with you unable to find anything to be righteous about. Now just don't smile, Rarity.'

Filthy Rich stormed off with all the dignity he could muster, not even noticing the Orange and Purple Ponies he passed in his haste to leave the library. The rainstorm started about the time he reached the curb.

"Oh, Hello girls, you have no idea how happy I am to see you." They both looked back at the walk and back at Rarity, "well, maybe you do. Now, what is this interesting project you have been discussing?"

"I really must insist that you not come by every half hour and ask how I am doing. It is well meant but counterproductive."

"Well, I just really want you to know we're all behind you on this. Hay, I haven't even met her but I think she sounds pretty cool, and if she taught you even a fraction of that freaky alchemy you do she's already done Ponyville a good turn."

"To answer your question I am comfortable enough, the water was appreciated, and I have no need for sustenance as some pegasus keeps 'accidentally' dropping muffins near me." Diane turned to look at Rainbow Dash. "Also, you could inform our friend Fluttershy that it is entirely unnecessary that she instruct her work crews to avoid raining upon me, it is an entirely natural phenomena and not one that causes me hardship."

"Heh, she's tried asking them to stop, believe me. But between you being her friend, an Element of Harmony, and nursing one of Cloudsdale's best flight instructors back to health when you were just a filly, they... seem to keep forgetting."

"I, I would of course not expect them to repay a debt they felt - however imaginary it might be. I would have done the same for any living creature."

"Uh, duh. That's why."
"I... withdraw any complaint." 'aww.' 'be silent.' Diane continued to sit patiently outside the door to City Hall, considerately out of anypony's way. When a pony made eye contact she nodded and occasionally wished them a nice day. When asked what she was doing, she explained. Reactions were mixed: some smiled awkwardly and hurried away, some looked on in confusion or shrugged, and increasingly they nodded and encouraged her. What had surprised her were the number of ponies who offered to sit with her. She had politely declined, but the unfamiliar feeling of warmth acquiring her friends had started was continuing to grow.

On the third day, just after noon and a half hour before the staff would come back from their lunch break, Diane closed her eyes. At first ponies passing by assumed she had gone to sleep. It was Carrot Top who pointed out how rigidly she was sitting, after which a small crowd gathered, nopony knowing exactly what to do. Diane had always been... unconventional, but this was disturbing. She was, in fact, still breathing - which was why nopony had called the hospital yet, but they were discussing what criteria to use when the Mayor and the City hall staff began returning from their lunch break.

Diane opened her eyes just before the city ponies reached the corner. The Mayor came up to her, upset and tired of what she felt was emotional blackmail. "Pinkamina Diane Pie! I have had just about enough of your silly protest! I demand that you stop sitting there." The pink pony nodded, and stood, smiling ever so slightly.

"Of course, Mayor. I need to renew a few prescriptions for my outlying patients, will the office be open for its regular
hours?"

The Mayor sensed the trap, but couldn't see how it was triggered. "Of, of course. We might need to close a half hour early, but certainly we will be open for the next hour."

"Why, that is perfect. I will only need about fifteen minutes of your time. Oh, please step back, I believe Captain Fluttershy needs to land."

Fluttershy did not, in fact land, what she did was fly in and deposit a Black and White equine. That task accomplished she saluted the crowd and departed.

"I may have neglected to mention that I will also be turning in paperwork requesting citizenship for my Mentor, Miss Zecora Kei-Monoh."

"R-right this way, Madame Zecora."
"From first greetings this much is true: your courtesy is nice of you."

The crowd seemed magnetically compelled to follow, everypony wanting a chance to say hello to their first Zebra, and hear her fascinating-if confusing-way of talking. Why, there was nothing at all to fear from her.

'Ok kid, ya done good. I like you. You're still on probationary status, but you've proved you can think pink. You do one more thing for me and you're a made Mare.'
"Y-you can't possibly expect me to perform some act of foolery."
'Neigh my little stool pigeon, you're gonna sing.'
"This is ridiculous..."
'See, I knew you were getting it. How'd you like my Marelon Brando impression?'
"Perhaps I should simply try the singing."

"Ugh, did anypony get any sleep last night? I know for a fact that I didn't sleep a wink." Rarity grumbled.
"Who needs sleep when ya' got somthing like this to show for it!" Jackie crowed, pulling over a sack of apples. She placed her hoof against the living wall of the library for a moment, then pulled out one of the apples and took a huge bite out of it. A sudden popping noise was all that was left of her after the initial blue-green flash. Moments later a globe of light bloomed in the middle of the room, revealing Jackie carrying the Apples' farm dog on her back. The dog barked excitedly and began sniffing everything in sight.

"Well, you certainly have outdone yourself Twilight. I cannot even begin to imagine how much energy went into this enchantment. I dare to say that if you weren't expending half your magic talking to plants every moment you would be the most powerful unicorn alive, and at half you are still among the best." Rarity beamed in pride for her talented friend.

"Oh stop, without help from both of you we still wouldn't have figured out how to do it." Twilight blushed at the praise.

"All I did was be a guinea-pig for you two, but this... Twi, this is truly amazing. 'Long as I keep a small stash of these enchanted apples I can have my home and roam at the same time."

"You contributed more than you think, Jackie."
"Then you should use the name I came up with: Apple-portation."
Both unicorns groaned, "only until something halfway decent occurs to me, darling."

"Well, so much for the easy part. Now I've got to have a certain conversation... I think I'll just walk though." Jackie set out for the farm by more conventional means. There was a conversation that took place, there may have been laughter and tears in equal measure - what there was was privacy.

It was nearly ten in the evening when the unicorn arrived. She was flanked by neither royal guard nor functionaries, carried neither jewelery nor armor, clad only in the fur and hair nature had granted her. Her hide was a blue so dark it looked black, in contrast with her pale blue mane. Her eyes were a shade bluer than jade, and her Cutie Mark appeared to be a white crescent moon. She was aged somewhere between filly and mare in the awkward time known as adolescence. She looked hopeful and agitated in equal measure as she approached the door of the Ponyville Library, long after normal public hours were over.

Before she could finish knocking the door flew open and she was all but pulled inside by a mass of hooves in myriad shades of color. Everypony was talking all at once - laughing, asking questions, and carrying on. The unicorn chose to smile weakly because freezing in panic would have been rude. Eventually the pink one herded the rest away so the blue unicorn could breathe and stand on her own.

"So, heh, 'Midnite' huh? That's... creative" Rainbow Dash said, doing her best to act casual.
"It was suggested as an appropriate enough term that we - I should have little difficulty responding to it."

"We are all well pleased to see you, but addressing your... speech problem, the Fillies and I have come up with a possible aid to your rapid adoption of more... modern speech."

"She's not really going through with it, is she?" Jackie asked.
"Well, she says it will help both of them..." Twilight said in reply, trying not to giggle at the absurdity.
"I think it's sweet." Fluttershy said, and that was that.

Diane picked up the microphone that had been lying innocuously on a table, pulled in a deep breath. 'There is no possible way I can follow through on this...' 'Do it, do it.' Three fillies eagerly lined up behind her, stretching and bending to be ready...

[All possible apologies and much love to the late great James Brown, hardest working man in show-business]

When one has been indoctrinated in the Royal Canterlot Voice,
High volume becomes habit, inside tones hardly a choice,
But along with seeming shouting, comes a problem with one's diction,
We humbly say in our response, a suggetion for your affliction...

We-eee-eeel....
Sing it with me now...

You know you make me wanna (Shout!)
Kick my hooves up and (Shout!)
Throw my hooves up and (Shout!)
Rear my head back and (Shout!)
Come on now (Shout!)
Don't forget to say you're 'I'
Don't forget to say, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Say you I)
Say it right now Pony
(Say you we)
Come on, come on
(Say you I)
Say it, will-a you-ooooo!
(Say you we)
You got it, now!
(Say) say that you love ponies
(Say) say that you need ponies
(Say) say that you want ponies
(Say) you wanna please ponies
(Say) come on now
(Say) come on now
(Say) come on now
(Say) come on now
(Say) The sea still remembers
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop-wop-wop-wop)
When you used to be nine years old
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop-wop-wop-wop)
Yeah-yeah!
I was a foal to you, from the bottom of my soul, yeah!
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop-wop-wop-wop)
Now that you've shown, up
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop-wop-wop-wop)
It's enough to know, yeah yeah
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop-wop-wop-wop)
You wanna speak to me, you wanna, let me know
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop)

And I want you to know
I said I want you to know right now, yeah!
You can say I instead of we, pony
And better call another 'you', not 'thyself', Hey!
If you ever need 'We'
Be talking about you and somepony else, hey! Hey!
Practice your vowels so that you know,
A, E, I, O, U and sometimes 'Y' now, hey! hey!

Know for yourself when you wanna
(Shout-wooo) hey-yeah
(Shout-wooo) yeah-yeah-yeah
(Shout-wooo) aaaalll-right
(Shout-wooo) aaaalll-right
(Shout-wooo) come on now!
(Shout) come on now!
(Shout) yeah, yeah, yeah
(Shout) yeah, yeah, yeah (good sound)
(Shout) yeah, yeah, yeah (good sound)
(Shout) yeah, yeah, yeah (good sound)
(Shout) all-alright (good sound)
(Shout) it's all-alright (good sound)
(Shout) all-alright (good sound)
(Shout) all-alright (aah)

Now wai-a-ait a minute!
I feel aaaaaaallllllright!
(Yeah-Yeah, Yeah-Yeah!)
(OOOOOOOOW)
Now that you got your ponies
I hope you feel aaaalllright!
(Yeah-Yeah, Yeah-Yeah, Yeah-Yeah)
Every time we think about you
You seem so good to us
You know you makes us wanna
(Shout-wooo) lift our hooves up and
(Shout-wooo) throw our heads back and
(Shout-wooo) kick our hooves up and
(Shout-wooo) come on now
(Shout-wooo) take it easy
(Shout-wooo) take it easy
(Shout-wooo) take it easy (higher)
(Shout) a little bit softer now (wooo)
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now

(Shout) a little bit louder now
(Shout) a little bit louder now
(Shout) a little bit louder now (ooo)
(Shout) a little bit louder now
(Shout) a little bit louder now
(Shout) a little bit louder now

(Shout) a little bit louder now (wooo)
(Shout) a little bit louder now (wooo)
(Shout) a little bit louder now (wooo)
(Shout) a little bit louder now (wooo)
(Shout) a little bit louder now (wooo)
(Shout) a little bit louder now
(Shout)
A 'a' A 'a'
('E' e 'E' e)
A 'a' A 'a'
(Ooh 'ooh' Ooh 'ooh')
Eye, yai, Eye yai
(Yoo 'ooh' Ooh 'youu')
Whai 'yai' eye 'ya-hai'
(some-times a-Hey)

Jump Now!
Jump up and shout now (wooo)
Jump up and shout now (wooo)
Jump up and shout now (wooo)
Jump up and shout now (wooo)
Jump up and shout now (wooo)
Everybody shout now
Everybody shout now
Everybody, shout, shout
Shout, shout, shout
Shout, shout, shou-out
Shout, shout, shou-out
Shout, shout, shout, shout (oh-whoa-yeah)
Shout, shout, shout, shout (oh yeah)
Shout, shout, shout, shout
Everybody shout now (ooo)

Goodnight everypony, Celestia loves you.

Now go get some darn sleep.

Author's Note

Next episode: A Variant Season, Bleak Season

Originally published Sept 12, 2012

A Variant Season, Bleak Season

A Variant Season

Bleak Season

"...and that's why it's called a 'Sousaphone'. Technically it is a 'tuba', but that's like sayin' a stepladder is a ladder - right but not all that's there to be said."

"Huh, interesting." The purple pony contemplated the oddity of their conversation and decided it wasn't any stranger than the rest of the day.

Rarity leaned toward the white alicorn to whisper, "so, you're certain this isn't one of the ancient plagues?"
Celestia chuckled, "No Rarity, I don't remember seeing a 'Parasprite' before. Do be sure Miss Pie sends whatever notes she may have so they can be cataloged in the archives." She watched one of the jewel tone insects hop by, "so pretty to be so dangerous."

"Watch them reproduce and you'll be cured of that." Rarity muttered darkly. 'Positively disgusting.'
The stream became a trickle and finally ended, Fluttershy glanced up to see a pegasus from the weather team give an 'all clear' sign. "I think that was the last of them."

Carefully putting the cymbals away, Rainbow Dash glanced at the eighth member of the group standing outside the Everfree, "So, Lu-ah, Pri-guh, um 'Midnite'. It was cool hanging out with you. You think this'll happen again sometime?"

"It has certainly been an education. We-I am grateful to you all for your hospitality, as always."
Rarity couldn't resist, "So, Princess, I take it you are eager to spend time with your 'ward'?"
The princess smiled indulgently, "I do think we deserve some time together, it has been a very, very long time." There was that thousand year stare again.

The royal carriage departed with remarkably little fanfare, everypony feeling spent from the stress of the day. Six friends said their goodbyes and headed to their respective homes.

Doccumentation, Observations on Changelings, Informal Interview 1
Subject will be referred to as 'M' for the purposes of these transcripts.
Interviewer will be referred to as 'Q' (for questioner) for similar purposes.

Q: What exactly does a Changeling need to feed on to survive?
M: We primarily subsist on sympathetic energies, what you call emotions.

Q: Primarily?
M: Yeah, we do need some food and water. Why do you think we have mouths?
[Noted for further study: parallel bio-morphic features]

Q: What source do you obtain this 'sympathetic energy' from?
M: You're really going to make me say it? From ponies. Mostly. We can feed on other sentient creatures, but most of them don't provide nearly the same concentration. Speaking of which your [rest of answer redacted]
Q: Please remain on topic.
M: Sorry. I forget how nervous you ponies are about family. I didn't mean to upset-
Q: It's fine, let us return to the questions. This first session will be short.

Q: What effects, if any, have you noticed on ponies, or other sentients, when a Changeling 'feeds' on them?
M: Well, uh... I don't really like to focus on that.
Q: Please, you must have had some observations.
M: Well, first they get slightly distracted. They... lose a little focus, and then they feel a little tired. The second... stage? Well, next they seem ...emotionally flat if feeding continues for longer than about fifteen minutes. That's really approximate, and I think it depends on the pony and the intensity of feeding. I, um, I don't go any further than that...

Q: Please rest assured that you will not be judged too harshly for anything you admit as part of this interview, but for that reason you need to be as honest as you can. Have you ever taken a feeding further than that?
M: ... ...once. It, it was just after the Brothers found me, I was... young? We don't ... I don't think Changelings age the same way ponies do. I mean, I know that we can die of old age and I'm pretty sure we go through stages, so that's like aging but-
Q: This must be very hard for you, but please, the question.
M: ... so I was just starting to be aware of myself as... a ... what, separate individual? Anyway, after one of their performances - I was still being... trained for the act at this time - they forgot to lock me in, and I got out. I wandered off, now I realize how really lucky I was nopony saw me - not that they'd've known what I was, but just... well, you know. So I see this little kid sort of looking around, and ... I forget what made me think copying the kid was a good idea but that's what I did. All of a sudden I feel this stream of energy wafting over the area, kind of far away but I can tell it's pretty intense. I'm hungry, so I follow it. ... I'm going to summarize instead of re-living it, if you don't mind.

Q: That is fine.
M: So, the mother sees me, her child, she's relieved and takes me home. I'm just eating up all the energies, relief, anger-some at her child but mostly at herself, joy, love, and some other muddled stuff you don't really have words for. It was the richest feast I'd ever experienced. I... you, please, you've got to understand I had no idea what my impersonating the child would mean. You wouldn't look like that if I was a pony and told you I stole a pie! It's not like the Guard didn't find the kid and get her home eventually... I can't do this...

[interview suspended]

"I can't believe we're even sitting here debating this! She's... she's," 'One of us, but I can't say that and not imply we could do this to any other pony-and that wouldn't be right either.' Twilight was livid.

Fluttershy took in a deep breath before replying, "We didn't ask Nightmare Moon before we tried to help her. Are you saying that Rainbow doesn't deserve as much help as we give our enemies?"

"Oh no, don't. Don't you dare... this is not the same."
"There's a difference between being generous, being self sacrificing, and punishing one's self.", Rarity sounded confident, but wasn't meeting her eyes.

"Sure, and there's a difference between intervention and conspiracy. You..." 'No, don't go there.' She sighed. Rarity seemed quite happy to leave the subject alone, judging by her flinch.

"She needs help, I'll do whatever needs to be done. If there is a price, if there is blame for this, I'll take it."
"Why should you shoulder that burden Fluttershy? Besides," Rarity glanced at Twilight, "everypony already knows who would plan something like this." No, she wasn't happy, she was resigned.

Jackie looked back and forth, feeling trapped. "All Ah kin say is ah've never seen somepony lose at horseshoes like that before. When I brought up the 'Running of the Leaves' she all but fled. That ain't normal."

"When she admits there is a problem I will provide all the help I can. Until such time... I fail to see what we can do."

Fluttershy's grip on the table threatened to tip it. Rarity grit her teeth and spoke, "I think, if we could convince her that competition doesn't lead directly to others being harmed she might... Jackie, I asked you to broach the race because I thought if we could arrange for her to participate without thinking she was 'racing' as it were, she might enjoy herself. And then, if she just happened to come in at first place, why she could feel good about it without any harm. It's not a solution, but I think if might be a way to broach-"

"And what if she feels manipulated!? What if she thinks about what it would say about US that we did all this without asking her? What-"

"Oh 'what if', what if, what if! I will not stand by while my friend dies by inches!" Fluttershy stood and slammed her hooves into the table.

Twilight moved back toward the table when she realized she had backed away, reaching a tentative hoof out, "Fluttershy..."

The pegasus laughed as tears rolled, "Oh, we play this game, back and forth. 'I'm so sorry' we say, 'it's not your fault' back and feathering forth! Nothing ever changes, we both tell ourselves it's ok, and nothing ever changes. I want to break free. Oh, how I want to break Free!" The crying stopped, like a faucet had been turned off. "It's going to end, one way or another. I won't stand for this any longer." She took a few breaths, shoulders slumping. By force of will she looked Twilight in the eye again. "Alright Twilight, I wouldn't feel so defensive if I didn't already know you have a point. But what Can we do?"

"Tell her the truth." 'So simple, and yet none of us trust ourselves enough to do it.' ...Me included.' "Right now, let's just go, now before we have time to overthink it."

It was the middle of the night, but somepony was banging on the front door. Mercifully Scootaloo's room was in the back, so she hadn't been awoken. Rainbow stumbled down the stairs, groggy. 'This really better be important.' She grumbled, never even considering just trying to ignore the knock.

She found her friends, huddled around the door-she shook the sleep from her eyes and focused, "How much time do we have, what's the situation?" she quizzed them, all but pulling them inside. 'Middle of the night? This must be huge!'

They all had their heads low as they came in, 'Oh no, somepony died!?' "Gals? You're scaring me here, will somepony say something? What do you need? What can I do?" Everything she said made them feel worse, it was like a nightmare.

Eventually Twilight broke the quiet. "Rainbow Dash, we... we were talking about you behind your back."
"You woke me up, in the middle of the night, to confess to gossip?" She deadpanned, knowing there had to be more.
Flutershy spoke next, "Well, after we've had two weeks where nothing has actively tried to kill us... I've been doing some thinking, and I'm tired."

Dash bit back a sarcastic comment, 'What is this bad vibe I'm picking up, why would I even think of being mean to Fluttershy? Sure, I'm put out they woke me up but still...'

"...She's doing it again, RAINBOW!"
"Gahh! I'm here, I'm here."'Mane, Flutter can be loud when she wants to.'
"We said, we're worried about you, Rainbow Dash." Rarity sounded as tired as Dash felt.

"That's nice..." 'I, I feel like I want to kick something, what IS this!?'
"We think you're... avoid'n competition."

"Huh? Oh, sure. When I was younger I had all kinds of an ego. Almost got a friend killed over it." She eyed Fluttershy, not at all proud of the way the other pegasus flinched at that.

"But you're not a filly anymore." Twilight's eyes brimmed with water.
"Yeah, makes acting mature easier. Seriously, what gives?"
"W-we want you to be happy."

"Five best friends who're always willing to look out for me? Mission accomplished. Could use more sleep though"

"You are denying a part of yourself." 'Ok, Diane 'We pretend not to notice when you talk to yourself' Pie is worried about my mental state?'

"Ok, ok, say we indulge your little fantasy-which by your own admission you came up with without even talking to me. If we do that, what're you asking me to do, huh?"

"Admit you are afraid of competition-"
"Done, terrified of it. That was eas-"
"Admit that you're afraid of the fact that you could easily enjoy-"

"Yup, totally with you." 'Ok, starting to get upset here...'
"And admit that you miss it, that every time you step on your own ego you leave a bruise."
"Horseapples. Horse – feathering – apples. No."

Twilight looked at Rarity, who nodded at her. "We, we did more than decide you had a problem, we were going to try and coax you into a race." Rainbow barked a laugh," We had a plan, doesn't matter if it would have worked. We considered this whole conspiracy because we can see what you're doing to yourself. If another pony did what you do to yourself to a separate pony, it'd be called abuse."

"Then it's a good thing I would NEVER do that to another pony then, isnt it?"
"You're doing it to Fluttershy." Rarity said, her voice low and her head down. 'I'll take it, I'll take the blame for this.'

"No. You don't get to play that card. No. Nonononono. Get out." They all looked up, looked at her. "Did I stutter? I don't want to deal with this at all, but you bring this to my house, in the middle of the night. And then you try to whip me with that race again? No. GET. OUT."

It's pointless to wonder what would have been said next, because it was now quiet enough to hear the sound of a filly on the stairs. "Dash? What's going on?" Scootaloo wiped her eyes, trying to focus, wondering why Sweetie's and Applebloom's Sisters and their friends were here.

"Nothing Scoot, false alarm. Everypony was just leaving, head back up, I'll tuck you in."

There was really nothing to say at this point. The moment had passed.

Dear Rarity,

I apologize for the deception, this letter is not written by Cotton Candy-I am her mother, Sour Candy, and I have to ask you to stop writing to us. The payment for the therapy bills was kind of you. The payment for the back rent was worrying - I don't think she even told you about that. The two thousand word letter of recommendation to the Stylist's School was amazing, if terrifying, but you need to stop. You can't save everypony you ever wronged, and you shouldn't have to.

My daughter will always have a place in my heart, but I can tell you now she never intends to forgive you for belittling her dreams of becoming a stylist. I'm not entirely certain you were wrong at the time, and her determination to overcome your scoffing is what drove her to improve so radically. Between that and what you've done now I feel I can say you have done enough.

So please, let me thank you in my daughter's stead. Whatever wrong you did, I forgive you. For trying to make amends, and for helping my daughter reach her dreams I thank you. Now I beg you, let this go before it becomes unhealthy.

from a devoted mother,
Sour Candy

Twilight was looking over scrolls from the town records, trying to plan the logistics for the Winter Wrap Up, she prided herself on having everything set up well in advance. But she couldn't make any headway. She welcomed the distraction when somepony cleared their throat. Looking up, she saw Rainbow Dash and got to her feet hastily. "Rainbow I-"

The blue pegasus put her hoof up, "Wait, please let me go first. I want to thank you."
This was ... unexpected, "Wha?"

"Thank you for bringing your concerns to me. I know it was you who made them all come and talk to me."
"I didn't do anything to-"

"And, yeah, I'm still upset about the whole thing. But... look, there's gotta be some middle ground. I don't hurt ponies, I've organized my whole life around making sure they don't get hurt."

"Rainbow, we... we know that."
"Then why do you want me to become a selfish jerk?"
"Didn't you just say something about 'middle ground'?"

"...look, the race... I, I never told Fluttershy this-and I need you to promise me you won't tell her either."
"Ok, I promise." Rainbow seemed to see something in Twilight's sincerity that let her proceed.

"The race, it felt good, felt really good. When I saw her falling, I knew I had to stop, had to help her. But, there was one moment, one instant of time, where I was annoyed. I was Annoyed that my friend was in danger and I had to give up the race. I mean, what the hay? That's not me, I don't even think the me I was back then would have respected a pony who had a thought like that - it's like my own mind betrayed me, but it was me."

Rainbow paused to breathe, "If, if I had let that moment go on, there's no way I could have caught her. Maybe it's my imagination, but I swear I shouldn't have been able to catch her anyway. I've done the math, over and over, and the numbers just don't add up. If she fell at the start of the race, when I - when one of us knocked her off, the distance she had to have fallen, the position I was in... it makes no sense, I'd have had to be traveling well over the speed of sound to catch her, let alone get under her."

"I don't see-"

"No, I think you had to be there to understand. It WAS impossible, what I did. And it was a kind of magic, I think. And there I was, right before that, being a small, spiteful, spoiled brat. I didn't DESERVE to catch her, but I did. There's a debt there, one I'll be paying the rest of my life. Celestia's cool and all, but that moment, that's what I believe in – that the impossible can happen, that we have to make it happen... huh, I had a point, I swear I had a point, but I have no clue what it was."

"Rainbow..."
"Anyhay, thanks for listening. I'm going to be ok, give me a couple of days to sort this all out. I'll fix this, I can fix anything."
"You don't have to fix it. I'll tell them you're ok, we'll chalk this up as a mistake and never bring it up again."

"I kicked you out, out of my house. That's not ok, not at all."
"You were angry."

Rainbow stared at her for a moment. "No. See, that's why I don't do that sort of stuff. No excuses, no tolerance for intolerance. I have to fix this. Because, because what if ..." she swallowed, hard, "all this time, I thought Flutters had found some kind of inner strength. What - what if she's just been doing the same thing? It never even occurred to me. Hah, like we're still making up for the others' mistakes, I won't let anypony fall, and she always catches them if they do."

She wiped her eyes. "I just assumed she'd really made it. When I came to Ponyville and I saw her, I was so relieved. I thought to myself, well there's one pony who's never going to fall. But...what if she never stopped falling?"

"What if the moon is made of green cheese? Some things just aren't answerable."
"We could ask Luna."
"Why don't we ask Fluttershy instead?"

"When the hay did she go to the moon?"
"You know what I meant."
"Alright, alright, I'll go."

"You mean we will go."
"...you're a real good friend, you know that Twilight?"

"...well I don't agree with your reasoning, but I respect the impulse. Good luck."
"Uh, thanks, I guess. You're not half bad, for a pony." The gryphon picked up her bag and flew away.
"Hey Boss, isn't that Rainbow Dash down there?"

"Oh, it is, thank you Cloudkicker."
Fluttershy flew down, finding her two friends easily. "Listen, Dash I'm sor-"
"I'm sorry about last night."

"You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Look, I'm not really interested in rehashing this conversation. I'm sorry, you're sorry, everypony is sorry. Okay. Point is, I need to know: where do you get your strength from?"

"Huh? I'm not sure I understand the question."
"Where do you get the strength to catch everypony from? Is, is it from-"

"Oh, no. I mean, that got me thinking about it... well, eventually I thought about it, but it was the storm. I ... I had a conversation with... well it's not important, but I decided then that I was never going to run away from anything ever again. Ponies tell me they think I'm strong, and I don't bother arguing with them. It doesn't really matter, maybe I am strong. What matters is that when I have to move, I do it."

"Thank you."
"Huh, for what?"
"Thank you, for being you. For picking yourself up. It's a huge relief."

"Does, does that mean you'll try taking some pride in yourself? Seeing you always run from any kind of recognition, it's been so painful. It's like you never stopped falling... that day."

Fluttershy couldn't understand why Dash was laughing, but it beat crying by a long shot. Eventually Rainbow got control of herself back, "Ok, can we consider that darn race history now. completely?"

"I'm ready if you are."
"Deal."
"So what happens now?"

"Now? Oh, I guess I tell the others things are cool."
"That's it?"
"What else?"

"Can I make a suggestion?" The two pegasi jumped, Twilight had been quiet for so long they had forgotten she was there. "Eh, sorry. All of this, I think this is a symptom of something deeper. You remember Rarity telling us that Nightmare Moon wasn't the only threat that was going to be freed, right? I think we're all waiting for the other shoe to drop... sorry, bad metaphor." She grinned, sheepishly, "But the fact remains, all we've been doing is reacting to events. I think we need to start taking an active approach, because being so jumpy we're getting on each others' nerves."

"What did you have in mind?" Rainbow asked.
"Planning, preparation, friendship."

Doccumentation, Observations on Changelings, Informal Interview 1 (completed)

Q: Are you prepared to continue
M: Yeah. From where we left off, right
Q: If you are comfortable. What I want to know is the effect of extended 'feeding' the story isn't important.
M: ... ok. So, distraction, flatness, then comes shivers or a sense of cold, sluggishness, and loss of consciousness. That cuts off the feeding, by the way. Ponies put off emotions in their sleep, but for the most part they aren't ... available is the best term I can come up with.

Q: I see. Next question, as opposed to extended feeding, what effects are there from repeated feeding off the same subject? Long term.
M: Well, this is all just from my observations you understand, but it's like a cold. First few days it's just a lowering of general awareness, like being slightly distracted. Somewhere after that you get more tired, some ponies get irritable, or more distracted. After that you start to see real signs of decline, always tired, easier to get sick, start loosing appetite, I guess it looks like a severe case of depression. I, uh, try not to make a habit of doing that so I don't have a lot of cases to judge by.

Q: Very well, previously you mentioned different intensities of feeding.
M: Oh, right, all the stuff I just described is from what I call 'passive feeding'. If there's a connection, it's possible to pull more energy out than is being offered. It's dangerous because it's much easier to notice. But, the results are much faster and more... intense? In fact, if you're not hungry it can almost be... uh, it's like how the taste bitter has been described to me.

Q: You don't taste... huh, I'll note that for later. Noticeable, how?
M: Well, for one thing the source goes downhill pretty fast. Strength of will can slow it, even if it's only subconscious resistance-it's really hard to feed when there's not already a connection established, at least on your own.

Q: Pardon?
M: Well, I ... I don't remeber much from my days as a drone, but there were patterns, familiar things. One of them was that the feeding we rogues do-uh, I'm calling Changelings who aren't part of a hive connection 'rogues' by the way-when we feed, it's... uh, incomplete. Normally we would either capture the energy and bring it back to the hive, or capture the pony and bring them back.

Q: And do what with either?
M: ...well the energy, they had some way of refining it. That was above my grade, but I do remember the feed, indescribable. A nectar that was sweet in every sense of the word, like emotion refined into a smooth syrup.

Q: And the pony? Did they get 'refined' into syrup?
M: I don't think so. I already told this to [redacted] but... again, I don't know how they did it, but there's some way to encase a pony, put them into a dream state, and slowly drain their emotions continuously. They must have been getting some nutrition because I remember the same pods being present for at least several weeks.

Q: That concludes the actual questions for this session.
M: Ok, good.
Q: I would like to ask you a couple of further questions about yourself, though.
M: {sighs} sure, why not?
Q: You have previously indicated that your 'dining' habits have been altered. How?
M: You mean how were they altered? I don't know, you'd have to ask Flim and Flam, I think they just figured it out by trial and error. If you meant what did they do to me, they got me in a mindset where I really only like the taste of adrenaline-dependent emotions. Excitement, Fear, that kind of thing. As long as I was working the act, I got fed pretty well several times a week.

Q: And now?
M: I... I haven't fed in the last two weeks.
Q: But won't you starve?
M: Probably. I'm already feeling sluggish. But you said you'd help me, so I'm trying to go by your rules.
Q: But, we didn't understand your needs... something needs to be done about this.
M: Well, that'd be nice.
Q: Why are you doing this?
M: Why did you give me a chance? Curiosity, and to prove that I have control over my own actions. I might not have been born with an 'I', but now that I have it it's the only thing really precious to me.
[interview concluded]

"Ok, does everypony know why they're here?" Rainbow Dash glanced at the clipboard one last time.
"This is stupid, the building was abandoned!" Scootaloo grumbled.

"We're really, really, reeeeeally sorry it caught fire."
"Ah jus' can't figure out what went wrong. We used all the right ingredients."

"Look, you three are banned from ever trying Cherries Jubilee ever again. Just give the Cutie Mark Crusader Sous Chef idea up. You were told after the spaghetti incident you were on probation. Ya blew it."

"But, we just want to earn our Cutie Marks. The sooner we can do that, the sooner you stop having random explosions all over town."

'I'm... going to assume that wasn't a threat.' "Look, you're all enthusiastic. Great. But you have like, No Self Control and you three get... carried away. 'Coach Dash' is going to set you straight."

"Um, I'm here because Rarity said I had to be."
"You're a dragon, Spike, mass destruction is assumed."
"Uh, thanks?"

"When we are on the field you will call me Coach Dash, 'Coach', or Master."
"Yes sir, Master Coach, ma'am." 'Eh, close enough.'
Three plus one looked at the fifth member of their little troop. A tan pegasus filly with olive hair.

"And her?"
"Innocent Bystander, chosen at random."
"...what?"

"Hokay, Q and A is over! We'll start with some basic stretches before moving on. Scoot, you've done this so you're going to be the demo-pony... DEMONSTRATION! Where the hay did you even get Dynamite!? Give me that!" 'When did she light it!? Oh Mane, what the hay have I gotten myself into?' "New plan, skip the stretching and RUN!"

Enjoying the early evening breeze, Twilight hummed to herself as she contemplated the task before her. Splayed out before her, again, were reams of statistics from town hall, animal population census, survey of arable land and lakes, and a listing of all active weather team members along with reserves and emergency leave requests. This was her moment to shine, when it all came together and chaos was woven into order. This was-a loud thump resounded from the hallway outside her room, followed by an even louder sigh.

"Apple Bloom? What's wrong?"
"All yer friends are insane!"
"Have you just now noticed that?" She smirked.

"Ah'm talkin about Rai- Coach Dash. Ah'm too pooped to pop, an' ah don't even know what that means!"
"Wait, are you hurt, or just cranky?"

The youngest Apple drew herself up to her full height, put on her 'serious' face, and reared onto her back legs to reach Twilight's eye level. "Ah am NOT Cranky, that mare is CRAZY!" 'Know what you're not talking about? Your Cutie Mark, or lack thereof. Sorry, Rainbow, but for now it's better having them annoyed with you and out of trouble.'

...

There was nopony to hear the whirring grinding noise as the blue box slipped into existence from nowhen. The door opened and a brown head poked out, the stallion looking left, right, and straight ahead. "Blast, not here either. I do wish I could assume I was mistaken. Well, ten minutes forward then." With another sighing whir the box faded from view again.

Author's Note

Next Episode: A Variant Season, Wyrd Days.

A Variant Season, Wyrd Days

A Variant Season

Wyrd Days

"What, seriously? Ok, I'll tell her, hold on ok? Uh, you can sit in the customer area up here..." Scootaloo left the strange earth pony in the front room, muttering something about Scandineighvian Furniture. "HEY DASH, SOME HOITY-TOITY GUY IS HERE TO SEE YOU!" Rainbow was always going on about efficiency and junk-yelling across the shop had probably saved like four seconds, the orange filly smiled at her own cleverness.

Rainbow Dash was in the room in ten seconds, flat. "Who, what, where's on fire?" she caught her breath, pausing to detach the now unplugged circular saw from her wing. "Why are you shouting, squirt?" The filly pointed at the dark gray earth pony, who was taking off his fashionable sunglasses and trying not to laugh. "Wait, I know you..."

"Hwell, it is nice to know I'm still recognized. Are you training a new generation to break into pony's houses now?"
'Oh crud, now I know who you are. It really is Hoity Toity. Wait... He's here, in my design studio...'
"ash... hold on, she gets like this sometimes. YO DASH!" The shout, delivered from next to her ear almost shocked the blue pegasus back into insensibility.

"Gaaah! Stop doing that."
"Stop staring into space, it's creepy."
"You know, technically we're in space right now-"

"No, you are not turning this into another physics lesson!"
Rainbow glanced at her guest, "maybe later kiddo. So, ... this awkward. What, what should I call you?"
"I'm hoping 'client' will be an acceptable term, but my friends call me 'Hoity'."

'Do. Not. Squee. You're not going to blow this.' "Ah heh, sure. That's cool. I'm still Rainbow Dash, and this is my... uh ward? I guess. Her name is Scootaloo. I suppose she's my apprentice."

"I'm not your apprentice. I'm not any good at this stuff."

"You made those hats, and nopony starts out good at crafting. Well, I guess somepony with a Cutie Mark in a specific craft might have a natural 'knack' for it, but not necessarily. Look at Twist, she was making candy for a couple years before she got her Mark."

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" There was just a hint of annoyance in the Stallion's tone.
"Oh, mane. Sorry, mr... uh Hoity. You came here to hire me, right? What did you have in mind?"

"I am scouting potential designers for a rather high end sports project. You do still design clothing, don't you?" He was looking at the saw when he asked. Rainbow tried to nudge it behind the counter, out of sight.

"Sure, I make clothing. I... I'm not real into the fancy dress line, but you said sports. Yeah, I've had a few ideas kicking around I haven't gotten to try out. My last big project was for a spelunking expedition."

The fashion pony raised an eyebrow, "really?"

"Yeah, you see they needed a suit that was waterproof but breathable, that would retain heat but shed excess. Let me tell you, the technical details of coming up with the material were just plain nuts. Getting a layered material that would do all of that and not be, like, an inch thick was really hard, but luckily I just... 'acquired' two pretty talented unicorns and so I was able to cheat the edges a little bit. Then it turned out the design of the suit was sort of an issue too, not too tight, definitely not too loose, but no chafing-these guys were planning on being underground for days at a time, you understand. Well we get halfway through the project and they find out the caves they want to explore have some really gnarly cliffs-these are earth ponies mainly, did I already mention that? They were about to give up the whole thing and go low-tech when I suggested a pony-portable grapnel launching system I'd been playing around with, no real reason I just thought it sounded awesome. See, it uses a compressed gas launching system so it works even in low magic areas because there's almost no enchantments involved in the functions - the building process uses a ton though, which is why I never tried to mass market it. So I get the size down and the weight tolerance up and-"

"DASH! Knock it off, you're putting him to sleep. Sheesh, socks and saddles-"
"You watch your mouth little filly. Swearing's not nearly as much fun if you use the good stuff up early."

Scootaloo gave her elder a look that implied Dash had just found a way to make being rebellious nerdy. 'Mission accomplished.'

The blue pegasus turned back to her possible prospective employer. "Sorry about that, I really get into my work."

"If hyou can be half that enthusiastic about a flight suit I think I can overlook it." He put the shades back on so he could glance at her over the top of them, "But just this one time, hyou understand." He pushed them back onto the bridge of his snout and motioned her closer. "I'll need a mock-up by the end of the hweek, but I think you'll be interested in the client..."

"That is patently ridiculous. I will admit I often have a sense for when a patient is turning for the worse, but random events? No, that smacks too much of magic." Diane could not believe she was even having this conversation.

"It's not entirely unheard of and - look we've all noticed you... well, not be in the wrong place before." Twilight was losing confidence in her project. 'First go and she doesn't even believe in what she does. Sure, it's not scientific, but sometimes you just have to believe in things you can't see... oh, that's it!' "What about when one of your patients-"

Diane grabbed the purple unicorn and leapt away from the door. Moments later it burst open violently as an excited pegasus burst in grinning from ear to ear. "Hey girls, guess who's designing the next generation of flightsuit for the Wonderbolts!"

Twilight took one glance at Diane and then turned to her other friend. "Wow, that's great Dash."

Diane coughed and put on what she now thought of as smile #23, enthusiastic congratulations, "Indeed, quite a coup from what I understand."

"Huh? Oh sure, sure. But I've been looking at the principles for a lightning resistant garment, and with the stunts those ponies do, I can totally integrate it into the design. Just imagine if the weather team had one less thing to worry about wrangling with rogue weather from Everfree, in fact I need to go interview a few of them and see what else I might be completely missing. See you crazy kids later!" And like that, she was gone again.

They watched her 'dash' off, not quite sure what to make of it. Twilight recovered faster, determined not to be distracted again. "So, that was a pretty good illustration of what I was talking about. Don't even try to tell me you 'heard' her coming."

Twilight felt bad when Diane hung her head. "No, indeed, it was more akin to a reflex. Perhaps there is something to what you say, but it smacks too much of my recent ... problem, and am sorely afraid of losing my 'self' in such fantasy."

"What if learning to control this... whatever it is, what if doing that is the way to keep your... you?"

Diane sighed, releasing her anxiety and seeking to trust her friend, "That is what Mistress Poesy would likely have said. Very well, in my free time I shall be your test subject."

"Um, let's go with research partner."

To my dear friends,

I hope this letter finds you all well and in good spirits. My expressions of gratitude have likely become tiresome so I shall will try not to belabor the point. Your letters are a high point in my week, your adventures and hardships. I notice several of you are seeking a more organized approach, which brings me to the point of this letter:

What exactly are your collective abilities? It seems odd that I have not thought of the question before, but between your circle of friendship you seem to have the skills needed to match any obstacle. Celly has me studying the dizzying advances made by science in my absence, an I wonder if such an approach would not aid you in cataloging your powers.

I understand from 'certain sources' that all of you will be attending the Grand Galloping Galla. Perhaps afterward you could visit me, it would be nice to play hostess. Also, I believe I have a surprise for you.

In friendship and in trust,
Princess Luna Nocturne Equestria

Where did it all start? The trite way would be to say it started with a race in Pegasus Summer Flight Camp, or with the Great Everfree Storm and the event that became known as the 'Cloudboom'. Perhaps it started when a pegasus turned instinctual knowledge of flight physics into engineering know-how, and turned back to understand the incomprehensible-no, that wasn't a it. But it started with numbers, it started with ponies noticing something and saying 'I see'.

"So, you see, I'd like to ask some of your crew about their personal experiences flying with clothing and gear on. Get a fresh perspective." Dash's neck always hurt after talking to a pony on a cloud.

"Well, I don't see any problem with that. If they want to. After their shift is over. But..." 'Everything is ok now, don't hesitate. Or, if it isn't ok, it's getting there. Just say it.' "The crew are working really hard right now, and I know some of them are going to do this just because you ask and you're my friend, so I don't want you making them put any extra effort into it. So... you'll have to come up here to conduct your interviews."

"I... uh, yeah. That's reasonable I guess, have to look out for your team. I'll, I'll start tomorrow if that works." 'I can do this, this is fine. I'm fine. You can't forget how to walk on clouds, and I know I've kept myself in shape-sure my reflexes are probably gone but it's a feathering cloud, it can't be that hard.'

"Of course I think it's a fabulous idea Twilight, I just have to go make sure the excavation process is underway and proceeding correctly. I won't be more than two days, and since my sister and her friends are going to ...help... me I simply can't spare the time to start on this project with you." She continued packing her bags as she spoke, tools, scrolls, clothing and books flew around the room like organized chaos, mesmerizing in their number but each object resolute in its flight path.

"Rest assured that when I come back I will be glad to help you go over what you've gathered. Oh, that reminds me, I was going to ask if you could look after Heathspike while I'm gone... say, he can help you document your findings. He is a very skilled assistant, do you know he can write with one leg? Oh it's adorable." She bit back further doting, knowing from the other side that it was tedious to hear.

"Well, that could work.... you know, I tried out for Celestia's school... years ago. They had me try to hatch an egg, like you described in your 'Mark' story. I... I didn't do as well."

"Do you know, I did some research later and discovered that isn't even a standard part of the entrance exam? They 'reserve' it for special entrants, which I suspect is a polite term for ponies they don't want to take."

Rarity held her hoof to her mouth realizing what she had just said, she lay her... she put that hoof down and lay her other forehoof on Twilight's shoulder, "Which isn't to say they set you up for failure. Just, understand that you may not even have been given a fair chance in the first place."

Twilight fought back her tears, "But, you did it anyway. You got through it."

"I suffered an extreme magical outburst during the Cloudboom, there is no guarantee I would have had any more success than you if it hadn't happened." 'Heh, our little element of Loyalty was helping her friends before we even met.' Looking for something else to distract Twilight, a thought occurred to her. "It stands to reason they couldn't have had many of those eggs, I wonder if they gave you the same egg that my little Spikey hatched from. Why, that would make you his Aunt."

Twilight's face scrunched up as she tried to follow the white unicorn's logic, "but we would have to be sisters for that to make any sense..."

"Oh, but we are so alike, dear. In fact, I rather think you might have more raw magic than I do."
"What? But you're always using telekinesis and sending off cantrips, I get tired using transformations."

"Well that may be, but you also spend your every waking moment talking to trees. Have you ever stopped to consider how much energy you expend into plantlife? Perhaps the Apples are too polite to say anything, but I rather suspect that their yields since you discovered your talent have been higher than ever before." 'Of course I'm not mentioning that Applebloom overheard her family discussing it and passed it along to Sweetie.'

"Even if that were true, and I reserve judgement, it still isn't very useful."

"Try telling the Apples that." Rarity deadpanned, "Look, I'm going to use the most personal argument I can think of. That bear, the Ursus whate-"

"Ursa Minor."

"Quite, thank you. If you had not... started whatever you were trying to do to Nightmare Moon, well, I'd be dead, and Trixie wouldn't be in therapy, she'd either be on trial or storming the gates of Canterlot, and burned to a crisp I imagine."

"Eww"
"Indeed. Do remember to include yourself in our little catalogue of wonders, won't you dear."
"Of course. Maxim 24: Don't count your chickens before they hatch, count eggs."

Rarity let that one go.

The gray pegasus looked at the dragon, who was looking back at her. "Well what doesn't my Cutie Mark have to do with mail delivery?"

Twilight debated saying something, but decided anything she said would only make the conversation last longer.
"Ok, special talent... deliver-ing mail..." Spike concentrated on his writing, avoiding eye contact, with either eye.

She practiced near Diane's cottage, for the open space, for the relative privacy, and in case she was significantly more out of flight form than she feared. She needn't have worried. Her physical condition was not great, having used her wings to manipulate and move objects instead of herself and wind currents, her muscles were developed in different places. But the memories were still there, in her brain, in the muscle tissue-which was sub-optimal not unable, and in her very bones.

She restricted herself to about ten pony lengths above the ground, but that was enough to glide, to bank, and to remember what she had given up for so many years. This ecstasy of freedom, now a guilty pleasure. But really, it was practical, she could be more useful if she could fly - punishing herself had limited her utility to others, she realized. An afternoon convinced her she was ready, for low altitude flight in any case.

She was heading over to Diane's cottage to thank her for the use of the space when she saw it. It looked like a slow moving rock at first, until she saw the head. 'Wow, that's a big turtle... wait, it has feet, that makes it a... tortoise, right?'

"Wait, your special talent is being big?"
"Eyup."

Rainbow Dash thought back to the cat she'd tried to adopt, poor thing was a rescue, didn't trust anypony and would scratch anypony that came too close. In the end, she couldn't be sure Scootaloo would be safe around it, so she'd brought it out to Diane.

The pink pony pet the cat and sure enough got a cut for her effort. She had held her hoof out, let the cat keep scratching her, wincing every time it did, but she made no noise, didn't even cry. The cat stopped, and it just looked at her. She pet it with her other hoof, and the cat licked her wounds. "I will call you Opalescence, for your beautiful fur. Nothing will harm you here, be at peace." That was why Dash liked Diane, in her own way she fixed things too.

"...at which point I felt compelled to comment that oatmeal might not have been the best choice. Oh, you're back."

Rainbow shook her head, 'Oh, right, cottage, Diane, tortoise.' "Who's this guy?"
"It is a tortoise."

"I know a tortoise when I see one. I meant what's he doing here?"
"Very little, as a matter of fact. So far from it's native environment, I assume he was abandoned."
"Somepony just left you huh? What's, what does he need for food and care?"

"Very little, are you asking to take it home?"
"Yeah, I guess I am. He looks like he's seen a lot, like he's pretty solid. I... it sounds silly but I feel like I know him."

"Far be it for me to keep the two of you apart. I will write the instructions and pack you some lettuce for him." Diane allowed herself a smile, to imagine a pegasus with such an earthbound pet, "Now keep in mind that you will not be able to take him flying with you."

Rainbow Dash glanced at Diane, then back at the tortoise. "Is that a fact? Because I have to warn you, you're talking to the wrong pony about can't. You all want me to be confident? Well let me tell you sister, I can make the impossible happen. If I want to, I can make this little 'tank' of a guy fly like nopony's business. Wait, Tank... I like that." She knelt down next to the turt tortoise, "What do you think boy, do you like the name Tank? Ok, it's yours then."

"Mine is dominion over the border between water and air. I can manipulate aerated liquids, foams and rainclouds. And, as it turns out, whipped cream."

"Working with whipped cream... that's a weird Special Talent for a pegasus."

Twilight picked up the baby dragon and fled before the interviewee could get going.

Dear little Sis, Hero of Equestria,

Hey, your big brother here. Not doing so hot lately. Work's been brutal, the Guard has been on extra training rotations for a month now and I'm beat most of the time. That wouldn't even matter - I love what I do, knowing I'm helping keep Equestria safe - but... Cadence and I broke up.

It was stupid. I'm stupid. I mean, she broke it off with me, but it was my fault, I can admit that now. Too little, too late. I won't bore you with the details, just... well, it stopped being like a perfect fairytale and I was feeling tired so I was snapping at her - hey, if you ever find a time travel spell let me know.

She's had her own problems too, I mean imagine your 'Aunt' is the feathered Goddess of the Sun, too perfect to talk to, too busy running an entire nation, and then you find out she's got a sister. Oh and her sister, who she locked away for A THOUSAND YEARS goes nuts and stops the day. But she's all better now - you know what, you don't want to read this, and I know Princess Luna's trying really hard to be a good pony, but it's really hard around the castle. Everypony is walking on eggshells, and night-shift is seen as a punishment now, but I guess it's getting better.

Well, Mom and Dad say hi. Drop me a line if you can, I need to do something other than sit around feeling sorry for myself - even I can't stand it. The good thing in my life is knowing that you have a place for yourself, you have no idea how much of a comfort that is. I know the Parental Unit means well, but they... they weren't doing you much good. Stay safe, stay happy, I love you.

Your idiot brother,
Shining Armor

"Hwell, the lines are clean, the form works well and the fit seems good on your model... but, why have you gone with a full muzzle cover? None of the previous suits did that."

"Oh, that's removable. This is the storm-safe design, should be able to repel potential lightning strikes by reducing whole body conductivity to..." 'Don't spout numbers, you'll lose him.' "...it makes the wearer less likely to be hurt by a storm."

"Removable you say? Not bad." The style stallion seemed to be waiting for something.
"This, this is just the demonstration model, of course. Any modifications you'd suggest at this point?"
"Mmm? Oh, no, no, this is fine..."

"Anything? Anything at all?"
"Well... the clear patch for the wearer's Cutie Mark is a nice touch, but..."
"Yes?"

"It could stand to be about 20% more stylish."
"...ok, next model... could be... 20% cooler." 'Whatever the hay that means.'

"Well, my Cutie Mark is for playing the Lyre... yeah, don't bother making the joke I've heard EVERY variation. But what I'm going to be known for isn't my special talent, it's a project I've been working on for years." The green unicorn darted her eyes to the sides, making sure no bystanders were paying any attention to them before leaning forward and whispering, "I'm going to design the first set of functional hands for a pony. Hey... if you have any free time, I'd really like to study your claws-comparison only, of course."

"Maybelatergottago,bye!"

"So, Fluttershy, thanks for letting me quiz your crew-I really think I've gotten some good ideas out of it. I, um, well... could I maybe sit in on a few of your flight classes?" It was like pulling teeth, asking for help. 'I'm supposed to be helping others, here I am asking to waste city time on me recovering from self-inflicted neglect. Oh, and let's add self pity to the list why don't we? Nah, suck it up. Own this.'

At least this time she caught the end of the reply, "...happy to have you participate." Fluttershy seemed distracted.
"Thanks, it means a lot to me. What's on your mind?"

"Huh? Oh, Twilight's project. I'm wondering what to tell her when she comes. I... I don't do that much... why are you laughing?"

"Haa... Flutters, you-not do much? Seriously? Wow, you really believe that. Look, you've got a... charisma, you make ponies want to be better than they think they are. I'm pretty sure some of these ponies would die for you-"

"I would never let it come to that!"

"...you're proving my point here. That's WHY they trust you with their lives. that alone counts for a lot, but-miss 'sealed records', that isn't where you stop - if you ever do. The Cloudboom wouldn't have happened without you," she pre-empted another outburst, "AND that's a good thing, c'mon, you know the storm itself would have caused more damage. Plus, the experience left you with your Cutie Mark... oh don't you even try to tell me you don't have a 'special talent', I'm not a moron you know."

Rainbow crossed her hooves and grinned, "Going to be stubborn? Fine, I'll just tell you now and if I'm not wrong you don't have to say a thing: Storm cloud, lightning, turbulence, but you look closer... it's a butterfly, a creature of calm and gentleness. When you put it together it's laughably obvious, you make storms gentle-you're a stormbreaker. Oh, what's that I hear? No argument?"

'Very good Dash. Just a little more...' "Well, ok. So maybe that's true, maybe. But if you can see my talents so easily, what are You going to tell Twilight about?"

Dash staggered back like she had been struck, "Ah? I... well I make stuff. Useful stuff."
"Oh, that reminds me. Diane mentioned you got a new pet. A cute little tortoise..."
"Tank is adorable, but he's not little."

"She also told me you said something that stuck in her mind. That you can 'make the impossible happen'."
"That was boasting, I'm taking this whole liking myself thing one step at a time..."

"I don't think it was. Well, I think you might have been exaggerating or using hyperbole - but I think you were talking about what you do. I think you make the ponies, and other living things and even objects around you stronger, you see what could support them, see the potential in them to be great. I hope so, because I want your help."

"How the buck do you do that!? I'm all like, no you do good stuff, and you're all mopey like you don't think so, and then you turn around and put these big claims on me and in the same breath you ask for help and make it impossible for me to deny any of it. I'm going to start calling you 'Hurricane' too, Commander."

"That's 'captain'."
"As you command." Dash made an exaggerated bow, "So, what can this humble 'miracle worker' do for you?"
"I want to understand what happened in the Cloudboom."

"...ok, you've got my interest."
"I also want to see if it's related to what happened when I fell. No, don't start sputtering, this is purely information."
"Right..." Rainbow exhaled softly.

"They both involved bright explosions from a pony traveling really fast. I think there may be something under that."
"...huh, maybe." A mountain can be moved a grain at a time... if you're patient enough.

"How did you find me?", asked a confused looking tan and green pegasus filly.

The dragon gestured at the purple unicorn.

"Oh. Well, we don't get Cutie Marks."

Doccumentation, Observations on Changelings, Informal Interview 3
Q: Before we begin, I would like to say that you are looking healthier.
M: Yeah, I think this is working for now-but it can't last.
Q: Not from a single source, no. We have other ideas for the long term.

Q: Now we'll begin the session. Today we will focus on shapeshifting. How much of your 'energy' does it require?
M: I don't think you realize how many questions you're asking.
Q: Then tell me.
M: Well, there's easy and hard, and several grades between. The easiest is copying a pony that's right in front of you, and even then if you have a few moments to observe them it's even easier. That takes very little, but it's also the most dangerous for a Changeling, unless in very controlled circumstances.
Q: Such as the victim being restrained?
M: ...yeah... So the other advantage to copying a present pony is that you almost immediately pick up on emotional resonances in the area-what other ponies are feeling about that pony. With other shifts it's possible to 'tune' into the psychic frequency of the target, but it takes time and skill, if you have a subject right there you're most of the way when you start.

Q: You mentioned 'frequencies' before, can you explain a little more about them?
M: Well, it's what makes an individual... that individual, I guess. Same thing as an aura, really-but for us we can pick them up as a sort of vibration, but not a physical one. Like music, like every pony's life is a song.
Q: Very poetic.
M: For a psychic vampire, that's the part you're not saying, right? Everything eats to live.
Q: I am providing no judgement, we want to understand you - changelings as a whole. If we didn't recognize your right to live this conversation wouldn't even be happening.

Q: Perhaps you could give another example of shape shifting? One of the 'harder' ways?
M: The hardest is to make up a shape completely. It can be done, and with practice it gets easier. Actually, what I've found is that the more ponies believe in the persona, the easier it gets. Say I create a persona, we'll call it 'Jay Brony', first time I make him up, type of pony, frame, body weight, height, color, mane, all the details that go into what you see of a pony. It takes a lot out of me, almost two days of feeding. Now if I just practice on my own, in seclusion, I might halve that toll. But if I trot around town, talk to a bunch of ponies, get noticed, remembered, that one day's effort can cut it down to a quarter as much energy. But the ponies have to believe in Jay, have to want him to exist. If I neglect him, let the ponies forget him for a while or go someplace else, I lose all that investment. Jay stops being real to them and I expend more to get him back again.

Q: Interesting. It sounds metaphysical.
M: Well, I've had a lot of time to think about it. The middle ground is modifying a form I'm already in. Cosmetics are easy, hair texture, mane length, small items of clothing. Interestingly Cutie Marks are the hardest to change, depending on how big a change you make.
Q: Sounds like part of that sense of self, emotional reality.
M: Sure, sounds good.

Q: And other creatures?
M: The further from a quadruped you get, the harder it is. Also size makes a difference. I can go up to half the size without any real struggle, and maybe a hoof or two above my own size. So a mule? Same as a pony, just less likely to be recognized, at least here in Equestria, abroad who knows? A minotaur is pushing it, maybe twice as difficult. I think Will was easier because the rest of the crew was used to him being around. What's funny to me is that Alicorns aren't harder, well other than the size.

Q: Like your stage persona?
M: Oh, you mean Darklight? That was Trixie's idea, she wanted a scene where Celestia went all Nightmare Moon, except I guess that would be Nightmare Sun, but it had to be bigger, you know? So she called it 'Celestia Darklight'. Doesn't mean anything, and I think black looks far better on me than on a pony, personally. Come to think of it, why did you lot pick a [redacted]
Q: I'll discuss that with you off the record.
M: Are we done then?
[interview concluded]

Rainbow Dash looked over the numbers again. 'If this is right, I'll go back and modify the suit. But this can't be right...' She ran through all the calculations, all the facts she and Fluttershy had been able to pin down, all the statistics on aerodynamics she'd managed to put together. "It could work... It Could Work... IT COULD WORK!"

"Do you realize you're only the third dragon I have ever spoken to? I mean, in any universe. And the second one I'm still not ruling out having been a highly evolved dinosaur. I just love this world, everything is so fascinating. I mean look, you've got those stubby little claws, I don't think your 'thumb' is even possible, an yet there you are, writing. Ha, I love it."

"Twilight, do we really need this one? I want to go home."
"Sorry to waste your time sir."
"Oh, never you mind. Plenty more where that came from."

"So you see, the real issue is wingpower to surface drag. A single pony would have to be in ridiculously good condition or as small as a filly... nevermind that. But the drafting, that opens it up to a team of good but not necessarily superponian fliers."

"Show me."
"I'll need your best five fliers and a week. We can do this."

Spike looked down at the reams of scrolls, grumbling, "Well, maybe you could use Ponyville to just drive any invading horror crazy..."

Author's Note

Next Episode: A Variant Season, On Display

A Variant Season, On Display

A Variant Season

On Display

Cherilee watched her students, chest swelled with pride. The old wooden stage, battered but well cared for, always called up memories of her fillyhood - more years ago than she cared to count thankyouverymuch. Despite the ... unusual circumstances of the performance, the 'Great and Powerful' Trixie seemed to have fascinated many of the foals in her class. Especially the two colts on stage.

"Hey Snips!" The taller colt said, grinning from ear to ear from behind a table covered in purple cloth.

"Yeah Snails?" The shorter colt was several paces away from the table, taking one more as the audience watched.

"Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!"

"Again?" Another step back.

The green haired unicorn reached into the black top-hat, tongue partway out of his mouth as he concentrated.

What the gangly colt pulled from the top-hat was not a bunny, not a rodent of any kind. It looked like a lion's head. It snarled like a lion, before Snips panicked and pushed it back into the hat.

Snails removed his hooves from above his head, got back up, and looked out into the audient. Waggling his eyebrows he said, "And now for something we hope you'll Really like!" The curtains closed. The audience laughed, uncertain.

Behind the scenes, the two colts sputtered in confusion. The stallion from the stage crew began ushering them offstage.

"H-hey! We still had another bit after that." Snips cried.
"Sorry kid, you two were five minutes over-time as it was."

[With all possible apologies and much respect to Bruce 'The Boss' Springsteen.]

The curtains swung open. Three fillies, orange white and yellow, stood on a small platform, each wearing a red cape with golden lining. Light shone down illuminating the three, casting reflected light onto a Broad sheet of blue fabric behind them. Creaking on its roller, the cloth shifted left to the right in a loop. Felt cutouts of clouds above and hills below scrolled by. A hissing scratch came from backstage as a record started; haunting guitar tones with an echo began to play as the trio looked out over the audience, looking at something distant. Then they began to sing...

We have swum, lakes and fountains,
We have climbed the tallest hills,
Trying to find ourselves,
Trying to earn our 'Marks'.

Three flags unfurled from the ceiling, one orange, one white, and one pale yellow. Nothing else adorned them.

We have run, we have crawled
We once scaled a three-story wall
It was three stories tall!
Trying to find our 'Marks'.

A paper maché Sun swung into view.

But we still haven't found out our Cutie Marks
We still haven't earned, yet, our Cutie Marks

Poles with felt 'leaves' tilted into view from the sides, creaking slightly, the background became dark green with larger 'leaves' stuck on haphazardly.

We once built a newspaper ship,
Studied shiatsu with hoof-tips
We've put out several fires,
But not our burning desire!
We've been poked and nearly strangled,
Learned that a Zebra isn't evil,
In fact she is pretty nice,
Though she lives in a weird home.

The Sun swung off the stage, replaced by a crescent Moon. The Branches shifted back out of view and the background rolled back around to blue.

But we still haven't found out our Cutie Marks
No we still haven't earned, yet, our Cutie Marks

The Sun swung back into view, Sharing the upper space with the Moon. The three flags furled up aa a long strip of rainbow striped fabric hung down below the astral props.

We believe in the Moon and Sun.
When a rainbow holds all colors, six become one,
And harmony comes.
And yet we're still looking.

The Sun, Moon, and Rainbow were all pulled back out of view. The three flags dropped down, tied to one another by a corner each.

We formed a bond, one to
Loose us from shame.
Our flanks are blank
Bared without shame,
All the same.
Because we know we'll always be there.

The Flags were pulled back up, the felt images on the background disappeared and the cloth stopped rolling, the lights dimmed.

But we still haven't found out our Cutie Marks
Yeah we still haven't earned yet our Cutie Marks
But we still will crusade, for our Cutie Marks
With a will, we crusade, for out Cutie Marks.

The lights came up, revealing the three fillies standing on a stage, the cloth pulled down. Sweetie Bell and Applebloom moved slightly apart, revealing a purple and green dragon who took a bow with the crusaders before all four ran offstage.

Dearest friends,

'Tia has just told me the most wondrous news. We shall soon be making a tour of the surrounding territories that I might be introduced to my subjects and they to me. While it certainly does my heart good to know my sister feels I have made enough progress for such an outing, the last stop on our tour leaves me quite well pleased. Yes, we shall make a stop in fair Ponyville, and we will have enough time aside from the official presentation that I will be able to see all of you 'in pony' as it were and not simply 'in spirit' as before.

Recent military activities have died down, Celly hasn't seen fit to explain exactly why we have had the Royal Troops perform military exercises at various remote locations all across our borders. I suspect it to be some show of our capabilities, although she has discouraged me from this reasoning. Which brings me to your last correspondence, your tale of impromptu diplomacy. I wish to ask clarification:

From one sentence to the you referred to a fight breaking out between the people of Apploosa and the Bison'i tribe, then immediately began describing what was clearly a food fight and case of extreme roughhousing. Did you switch accounts? Perhaps skip a scene? Were you concerned that descriptions of the true carnage would offend mine sensibilities?

Somehow I doubt this because I feel I know you well enough to hope you would not condescend to me, also because the resolution involved one of the pies described-which would have no place on a true battlefield. Modern Warfare confuses me, and my sister's attempts to explain seem to end with one or the other of us laughing inappropriately. Also, who is this 'Bloomberg'?

I have finally had the chance to meet with my niece. Cadence is a good sort, I feel we shall become good friends, though she seems a mite melancholy just now. I'm certain it shall not have a long hold over her though, I sense a determination in her worthy of an Alicorn, the will to move mountains ... much like six other ponies one could name.

I digress, allow me to reiterate my statement that I look forward fondly to our coming opportunities to see and speak with one another once again, my friends.

in friendship and in trust,
Princess Luna Nocturne Equestria

"Alright, I'm here. Hyou're three days over the time limit I gave you. We're already in the planning stages of another design I had on... reserve." The dark gray stallion didn't sound entirely confident, which was all Rainbow Dash needed.

"Thank you. Thank you so much for coming out here. I... ahaha... sort of called a couple of the Wonderbolts out here too - to save time, not about the suit thing. I'm sorry I lost track of that. You didn't deserve that, that's why I asked you to come. But you might as well tear up your other contract, after you see this there won't be any question about what suit the 'Bolts will be using." She was excited, hopeful, nervous, and a little in awe. 'Please don't think I'm going behind your back. I'm telling you the truth, it's bigger than some costume now. The Wonderbolts are the best bet for lending this project credibility. I wouldn't have believed any of this two weeks ago.'

"You have a reputation for honesty in your dealings, and a certain ...mad... genius. That's hwhy you're not in court right now. Let us see if my faith in you proves valid."

"That... trust me, this isn't like anything you've seen before. I only need you to trust me for this one moment." 'This is gonna be so awesome. Wait, did I run out of earplugs?'

The five pegasi looked at each other. It had been a week of grueling exercises, repeated practice of individual steps that had them tearing at their manes for how pointless it all seemed. The Dead Drop portion had been the worst, Thunderlane had sprained a wing in the second run-through. And though Rainbow Dash had paid for a healing mage to be on standby, an expense that boggled the mind, the pain of the experience had almost convinced him to quit - he would have if the Captain hadn't been there with them.

All that had changed yesterday. They failed the first time, it was a miracle nopony was injured. But... but they had experienced a glimpse, some idea of what all their hours of effort and week of missed work were for. Smiles and grins all around, the Sun was directly overhead and it was time for the present, time to knock everypony off their hooves.

A white pegasus with a blonde mane helped Hoity Toity up. "Mane, that was somthing wasn't it?" was what he assumed she said, because he couldn't hear a blessed thing at the moment.

Rainbow Dash trotted up, holding his trademark glasses with her left wing. She presented them to him with an apologetic smile, eyebrows raising when she had made eye contact. He managed to keep a straight face as he nodded once, slowly. After that he couldn't help smiling, at least until a thought occurred to him. He tried telling her, but it seemed lipreading was not among her talents. He reached into his saddlebags.

All very impressive. I have no idea what the practical uses will be but he had to hold up a hoof to keep her from trying to explain what she was obviously very proud of. but however, why were the suits purple!? Even in the face of miracles, one had to keep their priorities.

Rainbow ducked her head, grinning in embarrassment. She gestured and he gave her the pencil. Yeah, it was the only color of the right material I had on hoof. The 'official' version will be blue with the yellow 'bolts' motif, no messing with a classic.

The fashion pony shook his head in disbelief at the mare before him, remembering the last few minutes. The group had come in, diving from great height, descent becoming steeper as they flew. The line seemed to scrunch up on itself, a snake becoming an arrow, and harder to track as they flew so fast the air behind them became a white trail of cloud. As they became close enough to be seen as individual pegasi the formation had begun pulling up again at an impossible angle, wasting precious time rolling over and back upright at the last moment.

That moment, the world had seemed to explode, a flash of blinding light that left rings of darkness spotting his vision, and no time for that to concern him as the LOUDEST NOISE in existence - and he had once personally observed DJ Pon-3's little 'toy' - no, this noise had picked him up like a foal's doll and tossed him flat on the ground, had shaken his entire body. There hadn't even been time to be terrified before it was over. It was random chance that he has seen one of the pegasi from the performance disappearing into the distance-if that had been what he had seen.

Rarity watched the bipedal figures run away, baying. 'Serves you right.' she afforded herself the thought because their cries and their speed demonstrated that the explosion hadn't harmed them. Sweetie Bell's expression had lightened in the distraction 'you couldn't possibly have kept one, sister, where would it sleep?'

"Hey, Rarity, what was that just now?" The unicorn filly asked, looking around.
"I think it was the other reason I have a bone to pick with those Diamond Dogs."
"Still think you could have let me keep one." The younger sibling grumbled, not entirely distracted.

"Not unless Mother tells you it's ok." 'Which she would never do.'
"So, why does a random explosion make you mad?" Sweetie knew her sister didn't like noise, but still.

"There was nothing 'random' about that, Sweetie. Unless something has gone horribly wrong, that was the Weather Team."

"Are you sure? It didn't sound like thunder-unless it was all the thunder in the world. It sounded like how you described the Cloud..." The younger Bell child's eye went wide as her mind caught up with her mouth.

Rarity smile at her sister, pride. 'Clever Girl.' "Yes, that was another 'Cloudboom'. Set off on purpose this time. Although, I do think Dash called it a ... 'Sonic' Cloudboom or some such, something a little different." 'And hopefully involving far less broken glass this time.'

Sweetie Bell considered all this, a darker thought occurred to her. "Uh, Rarity, your friends... they didn't figure out how to do this as a weapon, right?" Of course they hadn't, they were heroes-right?

If Rarity was tempted to laugh, one look at her sister's face killed the impulse. "No, Sweetie, nopony would ever use this as a means to hurt anypony - it would be too horrible to even consider. The pegasi who did this ended up traveling Very fast - much faster than they could normally ever hope to fly. This is a means of high-speed transport. It can't be used as a weapon because it needs at least two ponies to do -from what I understood of Rainbow's explanation- and what two ponies would agree to do something so... mean?" Her explanation was starting to sound less believable to her own ears, thankfully they seemed to have settle Sweetie Bell's fears.

She was spared further musing as they reached her friends and the other witnesses to the event.

The ponies took out the 'ear plugs' Rainbow Dash had issued along with instructions and a stern admonishment to use the marshmallow looking things. Rainbow brought the last arrival back to the group as Rarity arrived with her sister. Jackie was still grinning ear to ear, 'I'm not even going to bother saying I've seen everything now - whenever I do one of these girls comes up with something even crazier.' The others seemed to have similar thought.

Pulling the second earplug out, Spitfire took an appraising glance at the cyan pegasus. "So what happens now?"

Rainbow grinned, "Now? Now we wait for Fluttershy and her crew to make it back here. After that, you learn how to do a Sonic Cloudboom. After that, you take this to the Princesses and history happens ."

Author's Note

Next Episode: A Variant Season, Horsefeathers

A Variant Season, Horsefeathers

A minoR Variation: A Variant Season,

Horsefeathers

The assault was relentless, conflicting orders to advance and retreat increased the confusion. Dim light was punctuated by blinding flashes, the pop-pop-pop punctuated by screams and flinching ponies. She was trapped, her every instinct called for flight but devotion to her friend demanded she remain and face down this horror. An agonized voice called out "Nooo!" 'How has it come down to this?'

Fluttershy had faced down thunderstorms, led an assault on a rogue monsoon, and singlehoofedly convinced a drowsy dragon not to nap near Ponyville. The incessant flashing of the camera was worse than any of those challenges by far.

She stood up and flared her wings. "No!" called out the director. Irritated, she hung her head, wings partially folded, "Yes!". Her head whipped up and she glared at the photographer, "No!". The flash made her flinch, "Yes!" In the background Rainbow Dash struggled between wanting to fall over laughing and desire to trounce the obnoxious photographer.

The problem sorted itself out quickly. Fluttershy leapt from the platform, landing right in front of Photo Finnish. "Lady, what is your major malfunction? This is a shoot for a new uniform for the Wonderbolts, who the buck is going to want a bunch of shots of me cowering?"

Photo Finnish was not one to be cowed by a cranky model, "Zhe vulnerable shots are vere ve catch... de majicks."
Fluttershy backed up, "That's not communicable, is it?" In the back, Dash fell over.
"Get back on ze stage Miss Flütershy. I am in the Zone."

"If you think I'm going to put up with being pushed around, half blinded, and humiliated while you ruin my friend's release pictures, you have another thing coming Ma'am." Photo's crew shivered like the temperature had just dropped ten degrees.

"Ah! Such passion, such fury. Hokay, ve try it your vay." Finnish waved her hoof, restraining a grin - naturals like this didn't come along more than once in a lifetime, and she, Photo Finnish had discovered this one...

'What exactly is the "self" we speak of? If I list off the things that I do and don't do, what I believe and choose not to, and my preferences and prejudices have I described myself? Am I a collection of facts and statistics? On the other hoof, am I some numinous quantity, some indefinable element of animation barely even within the ken of the Royal Sisters? If that be the case, then what point is there to identity at all - is simply being able to postulate "I am" all that is important? Round and round the questions ran, rational or spiritual, flesh or magic, surely something in between was more reasonable, but where? No answer satisfied, nothing was so outright ridiculous as to be eliminated - other than the non-sequiturs offered by the Pink. 'And what is that? Surely it is a part of me, even possessing qualities I am jealous of. But it is so alien to me, I fear being swallowed whole, or twisted into a definition of being what is not pink which is simply a proof in the negative.

'This is a neat quandary you've got going, but... shouldn't you look at the more practical side?'
Dianne felt her sanity crack. 'If you begin making more sense than I, then truly all hope is lost.'

'Hope's a great and terrible thing, but really why're you hanging out in a dragon's cave?'
"Why we are... DRAGON'S CAVE!?"

"Well, I dunno, I could claim it, but the real estate really leaves something to be desired. B-but if you like it then I'd..." Spike was lost in thought, idly chewing on an amethyst from the miraculous pile of gems laid out in the middle of a spacious cavern. At first he'd been confused, this wasn't like anything from the half-remembered geology lessons his mo-Rarity had made him learn in is old life. But, it was really hard to argue with such delicious terrain, and he was done with ponies... well all but one, but there was time to consider that later...

"...there something in the water? Why does nopony ever continue paying attention to the here and now? Young Heathspike, attend!" Dianne was becoming frantic, existentialism banished by survival concerns.

The young dragon picked himself up off the ground, "Okay, okay, I'm here. Sheesh, you don't have to yell. I'm pretty sure you and I are the only ones... Big."

Initial confusion at the seemingly random remark led to sinking stomach, shivering back, and wobbling knees-'Ok, I don't know that combo. Got any ideas?' 'It was Not one of your "Pinksense" events, I realized he is looking at the dragon!' As she watched, Spike shifted from terror to a defensive posture. Dianne mentally facehoofed, 'Why is he trying to be brave in what is likely the face of insurmountable odds? Duh, 'cause he likes you, silly.' 'Not this again, the matter was settled some time ago. We had a conversation, I explained my own limitations and since then we have had a decent sort of friendship.' 'Uh, yeah, then you agreed to run away with him... do you have any idea how far OOC you're putting me?' 'As always you speak in non-TIME TO MOVE!'

Dianne leapt forward, grabbing her would-be protector in her hooves, rolling behind an outcropping of the treasure pile, her hide feeling the heat of barely avoided dragonfire. "Interlopers! You invade my home, bring the stench of horseflesh, and devour my hoard. I will see dead for this dishonor."

"It was an honest mistake, we meant you no harm." Dianne called from cover, inching away from the monstrous emerald beast.

Spike found his voice, "Would it help if I said I was sorry?"
"Your words mean nothing, hatchling. For an apology you may step forward and face death with honor!"

Dianne made a quick decision. She turned to her compatriot and nodded, gesturing for him to get up. Walking back out into plain view was not what the larger dragon had expected of the two, it held off the fiery death that had been promised for a moment - amusement was too rare a gem to throw away out of claw.

"Your bravery does you credit, perhaps if your sense of courtesy or common sense had been it's equal you would have lived to see the end of this day. Contemplate such errors in your next life!"

Dianne bent her front knees in a bow. "Great dragon, our ignorance of your territory can only be the consequence of your cleverness and secrecy. We beseech you to allow us to repay the treasures that have been ... taken from your hoard by tenfold. We will also include a payment for our unknowing trespass upon your home. As token of our good faith, I will remain here as my companion acquires the recompense. Does this offer please you?"

"I have no reason to trust a dragon without knowledge of basic courtesy. You serve no value to me as a hostage if the hatchling runs to your Solar Queen. No, you will go and the dragon will stay."

The moment of temptation was slapped away as quickly as it occurred to Dianne. "I am afraid I must say Neigh to your demand oh powerful serpent. I will repeat my offer, and you may know that news of these events will not pas beyond more than five ponies, none of them involved in our Government. Please, I beg you to accept our offer..."

The dragon's eyes narrowed. "And if I refuse?"
"Then you will gain nothing. Either way, my dragon leaves here alive."

"Then 'nothing' is exactly the value your lives have to me!" Idyl amusement was one thing, disrespect and food thinking it could dictate terms was another entirely. The Dragon let loose a gale of fire, anger at having to burn some of its own treasure to destroy the interlopers fueling the flame even hotter.

'Pinkness, lend me your strength. Whatever the price I will not see young Spike pay for my arrogance.'
'Seriously? You're Asking Me for help? That's superfantabulous! All I want is for you to smile a little more, you know, like at all.'
'You... I am sure there is a side to this I am not seeing, but I have little choice as of yet.'
"You want a smile? I will give you a smile! Ha..." Dianne inhaled, rising from her last somersault to lift Spike off his feet and raise him above her head, holding the terrified baby dragon in one hoof, loud laughter filling her throat. "Ha, hahahahaha!" As the dragon drew in breath she stood on her hind legs, reaching back with the leg holding Spike and pointing her other forehoof at the exit of the cave.

The dragon, seeing an obvious ploy, snaked its head about to intercept the throw as it began exhaling.

"Uh, Dianne? What are you... whoa, nononononono!" Spike screamed as he was thrown through the air, arcing to the right of the dragon who had just juked left.

Dianne galloped toward the left wall of the cave, tracking dragon-fire, terrain in front of her, and a ballistic baby dragon. When she ran out of floor she began running up the wall, tongues of flame chasing her far too closely for comfort. As traction began to give out she pushed off the wall with all her strength, jackknifing over the deadly stream as it gave out. She had no time to recover as she landed, leaping a low pile of molten gems and treasure to reach Spike on his downward arc. Pushing him upward with the inner part of both forelegs like a volleyball, she slid to avoid the dragon's sharp claws as it sought to cut both pony and dragon to ribbons.

Pulling herself off the floor she jumped over the other claws as the raked the ground, turning over in mid-air to use her back legs to propel the hatchling toward a large, and hopefully soft, pile of intact treasure. Spike's continuing shout changed pitch into a scream as he dove headfirst toward the mound. Dianne only realized she was still cackling when the dragon began to roar in fury, stepping further into the cave to bring itself closer and increase its efforts to kill her - which struck her as the most hilarious thing ever.

Frustration, fury, and fear roiled within the Dragon's heart as the prancing pinky pony performed perambulations perplexing and practically impossible. The earsplitting shriek of her laughter was wearing thin nerves frayed by the entire encounter - the hatchling shot past, out of the cavern. The bouncing baby borne by blunt force flew faster than the dragon was prepared to react - confound the pony, the dragon shook its head to excise the acursed alliteration accompanying ... its roar of fury doubled in volume.

Taking not even a moment to breathe in, Dianne raced out of the cavern as the dragon threw a tantrum. Spike was picking himself up off the ground, her huffing breath reduced the madcap cackling to strained chuckles - which died when the dear diminutive dragon saw her and flinched. "huagh... please, friend Spike. Options were few and I had to ... huff, to get you out of harm's way. I fear I did more harm to your dignity than to your person, although once we are far enough away to be safe I will check the latter..." The sound of fury and wrath was getting louder, at a rate that suggested pursuit, not increased volume. Dianne raised herself back up, and collapsed as she tried to take another step. 'Ah, so I do have limits... this seems a poor way to learn them.' she managed a half-hearted chuckle.

"Di, c'mon, we have to get out of here!" Spike tugged at her head, glancing back the way they had come in a fear that spoke of anticipation and not abject terror.

"I have expended far too much energy to move, Heathspike. You must flee on your own from here."
"Look, I realize you're new to humor but that wasn't bucking funny. Get up. Also, it's Spike."
"Ask me to raise the solar orb, I am as likely to be able to comply." 'No, that didn't produce a laugh either.' "Go."

Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes as Spike looked down on the pony. "I can't leave you here."

"My efforts were entirely in vain if you die here. Are you going to force me to call you names, insult you, and otherwise drive you away? I'd rather not have those be the last memories a friend had of me."

"Who"
"You." Dianne snapped, exasperated.
"What?" was Spike's confused reply.

"Who-whoo" 'Ooh, Abbot and Coltstello, that's a classic! Do the "Mustard Routine".'
"Why would an owl fly towards..." The pink pony pondered.

The dragon burst through the undergrowth, fire following in its wake. It caught sight of its prey - and was suddenly blinded when a nocturnal raptor struck its eyes. Falling back with a roar, the dragon began launching flames into the sky, clutching its face with one hand and swatting blindly with the other. It stumbled forward - perhaps it could crush the accursed interlopers by random chance.

Before fire or foot could harm the two escapees, they were pulled aloft by shimmering fields of blue magic. Trees, rocks, and large chunks of dirt were also held aloft by a blue aura. "Are you, are you alright?" Rarity asked, exhaustion evident.

"Mama!" Decorum and personal pride disappeared in the face of rescue.

"Shh baby, nothing will harm you now. You just rest." Rarity whispered. Dianne heard the iron behind the words. "Owloisius, come, we're done here." The bird turned and dove away from the flailing, flaming, furious dragon with a final 'who-whoo'.

"Interlopers! Defy my territory and suffer the same death as those two!" The dragon roared, vision finally returning. Another obnoxious horse, no... a unicorn. Magic was a source of inconvenience for the dragon, whose scales would deflect most direct magical assault, but not prevent the manipulation of... that was an awful lot of detritus floating around, glowing blue... A tree struck the dragon, bruising it. Rocks hurled with intense force checked its progress. Time for a stream of fire to - the dragon nearly choked on a pony-sized bolt of earth that flew down its throat.

"You get one chance to leave with your life, lizard. Nopo-nocreature threatens my son."
"Son?" She was getting more accurate with the bombardments.

Rarity set Dianne down as gently as she could, depositing Heathspike on her back. Now that her concentration wasn't diverted, she started using some of her real potential. The ground shook as she pulled up a small hill's worth of the earth. "Now, shall we continue this discussion? I esimate I could only manipulate about two objects this size, how many could you survive being pummeled with, do you think?"

Enough was too much, the dragon turned and leapt into the sky.

In a bright purple flash Twilight arrived. Looking at the group, she nodded as the owl flew in and landed next to Rarity. Tree branches nearby bent and surrounded the three ponies, small dragon, and raptor. A deep green flash and the branches swung back to their normal positions, revealing nopony where they had covered.

"Sister, I have to say that I am disturbed at your behavior. If this is what a thousand years of governance leads to, perhaps I should consider abdication." The dark blue alicorn stomped in frustration.

"Lulu, stop being melodramatic. We were watching the whole time. You know we can't hold their hooves forever, in fact soon we won't be able to do anything for them. It's fortunate that they feel a connection with you." Celestia took a moment to collect herself. "...I'm, I'm glad you have such good friends so soon after your return. Of course you want the best for them, and to keep them from harm, but if we protect them now, when the consequences are relatively light - well, it will not be a kindness in the long run. You know what's coming, what... what it will cost them."

Luna pressed against her sister, nuzzling her mane. "Of course you are right, and they will have each other to cling to. If they can avoid our... mistakes I'm sure they will come through. I cannot help fearing the worst, however, imagining catastrophe." Something occurred to the Moon Princess, and she glared at her sister. "On another matter entirely, Tia, why do you continue to indulge that infernal bird of yours?"

Celestia smiled enigmatically. "Consider Philomena another test, of sorts. Ponies who cannot bend will break, and the kindest ones are those who learn to accept their anger as well. You still have some loosening up to do, or you're going to be a terror on Nightmare Night next year... although I suppose that might not be a bad thing."

Many expressions crossed Luna's face, "To think there is a holiday to celebrate the night... and yet it is a supplication to my worst aspect. I am not certain how I feel about such." She considered the matter, "Sister, do you think it would be appropriate for me to observe my first 'Nightmare Night' in Ponyville?"

"I think that would be an excellent idea." Celestia nodded.
"You don't think me silly for making plans in a future we don't know for certain we will see?"

"Planning for tomorrow is the only way mortals can keep moving forward. You doing so is an excellent sign."
"Well, I have had enough of watching from a distance. Are there any more details to oversee for the Gala?"

"No, for a kindness, there aren't." Celestia winced, anticipating a night so boring she would... "Wait, didn't Blueblood invite... " A smile returned to the Sun Princess's lips. "Perhaps there is some planning to be done after all my sister."

"Oh wonderful, an elegant ball is such a nice..." Luna caught sight of her sister's grin. "Sister, what are you planning to do?"
"Me, Woona? Not a single solitary thing."

"Do not address me by that name, I am a grown mare." Luna stomped her hooves to demonstrate how big she was.
"You will always be my adorable baby sister." The solar princess said, both fondness and mockery in her voice.

Luna's cheeks flushed, "I will not allow you to distract me from your devious plans. What do you intend?"
"I'm not going to do anything... I just want to give our six heroines the chance to experience the 'best night ever'."

"It would be a less ominous statement if you stopped smiling like that." Luna frowned
Celestia's slight grin deepened to a leer, "Is this better?"

The lunar princess rolled her eyes, "Now at least I understand where you have acquired your nicknames from."

Dianne awoke, tired, bruised, and feeling as though she had run ALL the marathons. She tilted hear head and then shook it vigorously. She felt as if she had run a great many marathons back to back. 'Better.' She was lying on a pile of pillows surrounded by shelves of books, which meant the library. Clip-clopping behind her signaled an approaching pony. She rolled over, groaning, to see Rarity come up to her, a grim expression on the unicorn's face.

"Heathspike informed me of the events yesterday. I am disappointed in his behavior, but I'm afraid I can see where he acquired his misapprehensions from. You, however..." Rarity trailed off.

'She, she is so upset she cannot even frame words. I never expected to see her in such a state, let alone be the subject. Well, I deserve her ire - I did nothing to stop ... Spike, from his escapade.' Dianne relaxed herself, so as to accept the inevitable.

"Truly, there are no words for what you have done." Rarity paused to gather her breath. "Thank you." Dianne's eyes snapped open again. "After the phoenix incident we were all afraid you were upset with us, but when Heathspike wanted to run away, you followed him, kept him company, gave him an ear for his concerns, and you kept him safe. I cannot properly express how much that means to me." She was crying, Rarity almost never cried - Fluttershy cried more often than Rarity did for Celestia's sake!

"I ... do not deserve your thanks. I could not have let him leave alone, once I realized his determination. And I-" By earth and stone was she... Rarity was hugging Dianne. Dianne gave her a half-hearted nuzzle, 'Do you not see what I am confessing? I went with Spike because I wanted to get away from all of you. I don't deserve thanks for disloyalty I-'
'Hey! Skip the pity-fest for a minute, this isn't about you. Imagine your kid nearly got eaten by a dragon, you'd be freaked out, wouldn't you?'
'I-I do not have a child, I have no idea-'
'Horseapples, you've got enough empathy for three ponies. Stop thinking about your personal guilt and think about what She needs to Give. Forgiveness is for the victim.'
'This is still abnormal behavior for you.' 'Sometimes to smile again you have to get through the tears.'

Swallowing her own feelings, Dianne considered what her friend must have been experiencing. She reached her forelegs out to return the hug. Evenutally it ended, and Rarity stood back up, smiling as she wiped the last of her tears away. "I know you don't think you did anything special, and that is another reason I love you. If I ever figure out what I did to deserve friends like you and the others I will have to keep doing it."

"...so you see, Spikey, my number two assistant doesn't threaten your position. And even if I never asked you to help me with my work ever again you would still be precious to me."

"I'm sorry. I... with the book and the-"

"The only thing you have to apologize for, Heathspike, is the rather pathetic job you did trying to frame Owlisius. Honestly, if that is the extent of your forensic skill then I have failed you as a teacher. Besides, when damaging another's reputation it is always better to go with implications you can dissociate yourself from... ehehehe, forget that last part dear."

"Aw horse-feathers, the one time I should be taking notes..."

Author's Note

Next Episode: A Variant Season, You Knew it was Coming

For want of a War, Alpha

Chapter Six,
For Want of a War
Alpha

'I'm going to be late! Arggh, why does this always happen!' there is a special kind of aggravation felt when one is not yet late, but knows, deep in their heart of hearts, that they will not make it in time. She stopped just short of slamming into the shop door - 'don't make another suffer for your own mistakes,' and carefully eased it open, looking left, right, and forward before barreling inside.

News Stand tried to be a pony of simple desires, life was simpler that way. The mare who shot in to his shop spotted the latest issue of EQM straightaway - kinda' hard to miss, being featured and all. She practially threw the two bits it cost at him before biting down on the cover and looking like she was going to take wing right in his shop. Waving his hoof, he jumped over the counter, pulled the door open, and tucked the two bits back into her bag as she passed, and beamed at her. "You almost forgot your change, Captain."

Fluttershy finished putting away the magazine before turning to look at the shopkeep 'Mr... Stand? Oh, yes, "News Stand", that's right', "But I gave you correct change."

The stallion waved both hooves in a shooing motion, "Sorry, can't accept your bits for that." and grinning like a fool.

'Oh of all the... I don't have time for this.' "Sir, you are generous, but I can't let you do that, please, just take the bits." She tried adding a winning smile, but could feel that it was a little strained.

He continued smiling as he shook his head, "Nothing doing, Ma'am. Consider it on the house."

For a moment she considered just accepting the offer and departing, she was already two minutes late now. 'Oh no you don't, it starts off like this, little favors and grateful smiles. That isn't where it ends though... I don't do this for a reward, not now, not ever.' the solution presented itself as she wordlessly nodded and shot him a salute, while flicking the two bits onto his counter with her wing. Airborne before the coins hit the surface, she made her escape.

The noise made Stand look back at the miraculous bits, which make him smile and shake his head. 'Huh, she really is something. I wonder if she even took enough time to look at the cover...'

*** ***** * ***** ***

It was exciting, getting to see their nation's capitol, clad in shining white, purple, and gold. The students of Shady Oaks Elementary enjoyed their tour of Canterlot, three of the students simply had one more thing to feel pride about. "Cutie Mark Disaster Prevention Agents are go." They whispered to each other, their volume lowered but their enthusiasm unquenched. The other students gave them occasional glances as they, unsuccessfully, tried to conceal their glee. Finally the moment arrived, the Canterlot Royal Sculpture Garden and Maze.

Sweetie Bell considered the weird conglomeration of limbs and body parts the statue represented. He looked about to burst into song, which somehow made her like the weird creature a little bit. Not enough to stop her from performing the test her sister had assigned to her group of friends. Miss Cherilee was talking now...

"What do you suppose this sculpture represents?"

'Oh, that's our cue!' Applebloom leapt up and shouted "Confusion!" at the top of her lungs.

"Evil..." Sweetie intoned, casting a mock glare at her friend.

"Chaos" Scootaloo roared, climbing on her friend's backs.

The three of them stood, looking closely at the statue in anticipation. Nothing happened... maybe they needed to stage some roughhousing.

"In a way all three of you are... girls? Girls!" Cherilee felt the sinking suspicion that her educational speech was about to be hijacked, again.

"And just what are you three supposed to be doing?" Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes, but was careful to stand well outside of hoof-reach of the three fillies - she was not having a repeat of her cuteceneara.

Ping

Sweetie turned to look at the lavender filly, smiling openly "Well, since you asked, we're on a super-secret mission to see if this statue is in fact the real Demon of Discordance, just trapped by the power of Harmony and waiting for the right moment to break free and rain havok down on Eqeustria."

Silver Spoon facehoofed for Diamond, who was busy closing her jaw. "Seriously? What utter nonsense. Do you really think Princess Celestia would hide a monster within walking distance of the Royal Palace?"

Pip, pop

"Well where would you hide a reality warping monster that can't die?" Scootaloo asked, looking forward to being on the winning side of an argument for once.

"Gee, I uh, wouldn't it be better to banish it to a far away place, then build a dungeon in that far away place and bury it under the dungeon in that far away place?" Snails offered.

Applebloom finished parsing the sentence first, "The problem with doin' it like that is ya' wouldn't know if it got free."

"Well who says the monster is immortal? How do you imagine you even know anything about Discord? You three aren't experts." Diamond sought to regain control of the argument.

Tinkle

"No, but my big sister is - she knows all about all kinds of horrible monsters that want to eat us all up or make life miserable." Sweetie was beginning to become annoyed, didn't they realize the fate of Equestria could hang in the balance?

Pop...

"Miss Cherilee...?" Snips called to his teacher, who was trying desperately to regain control of her class while being drowned out by shouting, everyfoal wanted to offer an opinion. Applebloom and Silver Spoon stood muzzle to muzzle debating the merits of deep space and oceanic trenches in tones that had once started wars. "Teacher?" the colt tried again.

Crack

Gritting her teeth, Miss Cherilee turned to the one student paying any attention to her, "Yes, Snai- Snips?" that was odd, she never forgot the names of her students.

"I just wanted to say, Snails and I have been over here the whooole time, and we never-ever touched that funny statue, so there's no way it's our fault chips of it are falling off." Having gotten the important facts relayed, he promptly headed over to the group of yelling schoolfoals to offer his opinion on the merits of Duct Tape.

The mare turned to look at the statue of Discord, 'Oh Celestia... he's right, I can see it cracking as I wa - CHILDREN, SAFETY, NOW!!!', she reached into the deepest reserve of teachers everywhere and found the voice that would have stopped Nightmare Moon in her tracks, "CLASS! We are leaving now - no, no questions, line up... good everypony is here, now start heading for the exit, no dawdling, and I want you to move quickly."

The CMC brought up the rear, keeping everypony ahead of them moving. They cast a few fearful glances back but there wasn't time to do much investigating. "It ain't fair!" Applebloom wailed, "We were gonna' stop th'monster, not free'm."

"It's going to take forever to get back to Ponyville! How'll we let Rarity know what's happened in time?" Sweetie Bell moaned.

Scootaloo looked around, and saw the anser, plain as the Royal Palace in front of her, "Listen up girls, I've got a plan..." The three friends' expressions lifted considerably, a plan meant action!

*** **** *** **** ***

"...Nightmare Moon is accounted for obviously - oh, and I've checked with the Princesses and there doesn't seem to be any chance that there's any lingering evil spirit in the shards of her armor or remaining attached to the Palace Grounds where we cured Princess Luna so no resurgence is likely. Hmm... There's Tirak, lord of Castle Midnight... looks like he was terrified of rainbows, I'm putting him down as low risk." Rarity scratched an item off the list.

"Oh, my Grandmother had a story about a horrific slime that would blanket the land and cover ponies, sapping their will to live. It was called the... Schmooze if I recall?" Dianne wracked her brain for details, the stories had made little enough sense when she was a child, the comforting sounds of her Grandmare more important than the content of her words.

"Round Hoofington they've got this legend about a bunch'a magic insects that don't quite exist in this world or the next, and they feed on the living energy of ponies by passing through a body. Supposedly they could possess folk too and they had some sort of hive minds or somesuch." Jackie recalled, tapping her head, careful not to disturb her new hat.

Rarity looked down the list, "Ah, hmm... that sounds like, here! Fae Sprites, supposedly hunted to extinction some eight hundred years ago. Well wouldn't it be nice if monsters stayed that way? No, they get marked for further study."

Twilight consulted her own list, "I was able to find references to a King Somnus, but that's tied to legends of the Crystal Ponies." 'Which are likely as much fantasy as Sea Ponies, sorry Seafoam.', "Oh and 'He Who is Not to be Named', Lord of Ill Luck and Misfortune."

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, "Are you talking about Mu-fhm!" she gagged on the yellow cloth suddenly clogging her mouth.

"I'll thank you NOT to summon any spawn of Chaos tonight, Dash dear. They come when called, you know."
That was exactly when the front door burst open in noise and confusion, a wild wind blowing out the candles and whipping the collected scrolls and notes into a funnel of confusion... before Fluttershy was able to close the door again. "Sorry, sorry, I'm here now... what did I mi..." She took in the devastation, the look of abject terror on her friends' faces, and thought she saw Jackie pull something pink behind her back. "Ok, what did I miss?"

Rarity remembered to breathe finally. "Well, while we were waiting for you to finish your errands I decided to give our 'most wanted' list another looking over. You managed to barge in here at just the right time to give me a heart attack darling." She laughed to cover her embarrassment and convey more lightness of mood than she felt.

Fluttershy slapped a hoof onto her forehead, "Great, I make my friends wait and then I terrify them. This day just keeps getting better and better. So what did you originally call us all here for? And why did you need me to pick up a copy of Equestria Monthly?"

The pink pony pondered her yellow friend, "I take it you have not yet read the publication?" 'It would be far easier keeping a straight face right now if I hadn't rediscovered my sense of humor... deal with it.'

Rainbow Dash, notoriously bad at keeping her expression serious, settled on worrying some woven object she was holding. Twilight was studiously not looking at her pink-maned friend. Jackie, of course, had no problem looking directly at her with an air of innocence that was suspicious in itself. The weather pony briefly considered outwaiting her companions, but decided to play along. Reaching into her saddelbag she pulled out the magazine, considering the smooth feel of the paper used, the shininess of the cover and the cover image itself… "W-what the buck is this!?"

"... unauthorized study of forbidden magics, and likely fomentation of feelings of rebellion among the populace. Pinkamina Diane Pie, distribution of controlled and banned 'herbal substances' to medical patients and the infirm, practice of heretical mysticism, obseved characteristics of mental instability and possible psychosis, and the honor of being on the Guardians of the Veil's watch list for likely causes of and interdimensional mishap. Twilight Sparkle - "

She couldn't help it, "What, overdue library fines from childhood?"
"-totalling no less than sixtyfive bits." The Pegasus glowered at his Princess, "We ain't kiddin' around here Your Tallness. These six ponies you've entrusted with one of our nation's most powerful artifacts are unreliable, uncouth, and down right scary in the wrong circumstances. Take your harmless Miss Sparkle here, were you aware she's helped Asst. Prof Bell develop a new means of teleportation that can bypass nearly all known wards? With.An.Apple, fer' cryin' out loud! h'T's ridiculous. And we have indications she may be generating some kind of Genuis Loci of plantlife without even realizing what she's doing."

Celestia sighed, "Director, one of the most important foundations of Equestria is 'trust'. And I," she flared her wings as she rose from the throne, "Trust those six mares with the welfare of this nation, the welfare of each and every citizen - something I hold very dear. Nothing that you have mentioned is anything I did not already - a moment, since when have they had a teleporting apple?"

The Director of the Department of Information flipped through his notes - something both parties knew he didn't need to do in order to recall that detail. "Since last Flocktober, at the latest. We had several confirmed incidents involving miss Ora- err App.. the cowpony." He scratche the side of his eyepatch, avoiding eye contact.

It was not considered a necessary skill for ruling a country, but the Princess could count without moving her lips. "You have known for more than five months and this is the first that I hear about it?"

"Awright, awright, that was an oversight." The stallion tossed his entire list behind him, "You know that ain't why I'm here, your Majesty."

Clestia's eyes narrowed, "The Cloudboom Maneuver."

"The lab boys tell me it should really be called a 'Sonic Boom'. 'Parently the clouds aren't really a necessary part of the equation from what they can tell."

"You will recieve the same answer I gave General Iron Heart and Professor Mutual Assurance. 'No'. None of you will have access to that information until such time as I fully understand it's implications - as a tool for society, and I will NEVER hear talk of turning it into a weapon." She felt tired, too tired to deal with this any more today.

The pegasus shrugged, "As you command, Princess. But I serve the good of the ponies o'this great nation, and I think that gives me th'right ta tell ya' I think you're wrong -"

Further discussion was interrupted by a cacophony of crashing doors, clanking armor, and the shouts of three fillies who raced into the room trailing at least twelve of the Royal Guardsponies. The Solar Princess spared one glance for the Director, who had of course made his escape. Back to the guards and children then. "At ease Gentlemen! I will hear what these three have to say, that they feel permits them to interrupt royal business." 'Don't laugh... '

The room became much quieter. Sweetie Bell felt herself beyond the capacity for rational though, I... really like her mane?' Scootaloo was still catching her breath, which left Applebloom to uphold her family's honor - they had history with the Princess, after all. "Um, yer High Majesty we came here... ta' apologize, an deliver a warnin'."

The Alicorn wanted to discount their fears as childish fantasy, but somewhere in her heart she knew this was more, this was something real. Nevertheless she had to ask, "What has happened?"

Three heads hung low as they replied, "Confusion... Evil... Chaos... Discord, Discord walks the world once again."

For Want of a War, Beta

Chapter 6,
For Want of a War
Beta

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Flipping through the publication, her brows flew wide, scrunched together, narrowed, and widened again. She growled, chuckled, gasped, and harumphed. 'How did she get that shot? I'm sure I didn't see a camera on her when I told her to back off...' Eventually Fluttershy looked back up at her gathered friends. They were each wearing a pale yellow earflap hat with pink yarn teased into an imitation of her mane. Jackie would later claim she heard the door opening before the magazine hit the floor.

* *** *

Clearing the door, she made to leap into the air and fly away before she did or said something she'd regret. The extra weight and strain on her tail was obvious the moment she felt it. Looking back to see a pink pony clamped on her tail, the weather pegasus rolled her eyes and took to wing, passenger and all.

Dianne considered her position, figurative and literal. 'Well, here I am. I cannot speak while using my mouth to hold on, so I may have to wait until she- WHOA!' the pegasus flicked her passenger overhead, yellow catching pink on pony-back. "Now, " the passenger huffed, "I recall you mentioning that you were capable of such a feat last year during our little trouble. Any doubts that may have hidden in the corners of my mind are banished." the healer chuckled because it was more dignified than whimpering.

"I... I'm sorry I did that just now. My need to get away doesn't give me the right to throw ponies around like that. It was just-"

"A very poorly thought out idea on our part to surprise you with your newfound notoriety? I agree. You have little to apologize for. I will for myself and our four friends but once, as I find drawn out proceedings tiresome. Should you feel a need to express your distress, I would be inclined to listen, and only comment if asked to."

Fluttershy remained silent for long enough that Dianne was assuming she wasn't going to talk. "...it all started during the big storm that became the Cloudboom..."

** * **

Rainbow's irises shrank to pinpricks, "Oh, my, gosh. I am a feather-brained idiot! I thought she was over... but after that stuff last fall... and now I've given out these hats to half of Ponyville... raaghh!" Throwing a knitted cotton hat provides very little relief, it has no heft, won't fly far, and makes almost no sound when it lands. Violent outburst having failed her, the blue pegasus turned to frantic action, grabbing boxes, empty saddlebags, and baskets and collecting them in the middle of the room.

"So, Fluttershy ran off, Dianne disappeared - probably following 'shy, and Rainbow is throwing a fit. I'm not feeling very good about myself right now but I feel remarkably calm. Anypony else want to help me untangle this?" Twilight asked, walking toward her remaining two friends.

"Seems 'ta me that we jumped the gun. Helping her get this whole mess under control is gonna' be the best way of saying 'sorry'." Jackie mused, scratching the back of her head. "Rare, that sound about right to you?"

The unicorn in question jerked at the sound of her name, "Hrm? Oh, quite. A combination of keeping her shielded from the worst media attention and 'gentle conversation' with the ponies behind this will be just the thing." 'Ugh, when this is all sorted out I think I may need to start getting a teensy bit more sleep at night.' she turned to the racing pegasus, "RAINBOW DASH! Stop all that da- running about." When Dash didn't decelerate, the white unicorn snatched her up in a telekinetic field. "I do believe we could all use some fresh air, don't you?"

*** **

The brown earth pony looked at the celery in his hoof. It hung limply and the edges were turning blue. He began chewing on it idly. 'And it looked like today was going to be such a pleasant day at first.' He glanced at the gray pegasus across the table from him. "Say, Derpy, would you fancy a picnic today? I know a lovely little spot."

The blonde pony looked up, "Oh I couldn't, we're kind'a behind schedule at work. How about tomorrow?" the sound of gentle rain spattered against the windows and off the roof. "Huh... I didn't think there was any rain scheduled for the rest of the week."

"It's chocolate" the brown pony set down the celery and examined the tablecloth with interest.

"What is?"

"The rain." 'He's going to do it again.'

"You're not making any sense."

"Chocolate milk to be more specific." 'It's different every time, I bet he thinks he's being creative - bastard.'

"What are you..." Derpy looked out the window - tried to look out the window, which was streaked with viscous brown. Beyond she saw tall narrow shapes, all leg, running to a fro down the road. "Doctor, what is this? What's going on?"

"Chaos, Derpy. Well, not exactly Chaos per se, but it's close enough for our purposes. I hate to say it, but there isn't really anything we can do to stop it - that's in other hooves than ours - it may last a day, two days, a week, probably not a thousand years." He shuddered involuntarily, "please, I'll ask you one more time, come away with me - just for a little while - it never ends well for you. We can pick up Dinky - school's probably called on account of flying pastries by now anyway." 'I can't stand it. Not this time, not this bloody time.'

"Thank you for being worried about me, but I can't. You know that I'm not the kind of pony who could run out on her friends, family, or anypony who needed help. And I know you aren't either."

"Of, of course not." He bit back the tears, the mad laughter, and the pit of despair. "Sorry for the moment of weakness, all better now," he made a showing of teeth in compensation for the lack of sincerity in his smile.'You're not going to have your way this time, you patchwork horror. I don't care what it takes, it's not happening this time.' "Shall we be off then?"

** ***

"Whew, I don't care to see another sugary confection for as long as I live!" the orange pony groaned, sluicing more water into her chocolate milk soaked mane.

'Blasphemy!' 'Hush, there will be time for humor later.'

"I think we can be proud of managing to corral those strange clouds in less than four hours." Fluttershy said, scrubbing her pinions a third time.

"Ugh, this is sooo gross, I hate sticky stuff on my hooves!" Rainbow kept lifting her feet off the ground in a random shuffle, trying to find a pose where none of them were in contact with the ground.

"I am concerned about the rampant mutation in smaller animals." Dianne turned to regard the … mostly white unicorn, "Rarity, are you certain the restoration spell you attempted had no effect whatsoever?"

"Completely certain." 'And thank you so much for continually reminding me of yet another failure of mine today.' "that concerns me a great deal, in fact... " Rarity trailed off as a golden chariot pulled by armored pegasi descended from the sky to land in the clearing south of Sweet Apple Acres. "No rest for the wicked then, come on girls - hopefully this is where we receive some answers."

* ****

As the chariot touched down three fillies leapt to the ground and ran to the approaching mares. Rarity felt a pit in the bottom of her stomach when she saw her sister and two fast friends, and then became even worse as she recognized the signs of recent tears. It was clear what had happened, but now she would have to listen as it was explained to everypony's satisfaction. None of this helped her mood, although she put a smile on her face as she tried to convince her little sister that she wasn't responsible for unleashing an ancient monster of chaos and strife - 'no, that honor goes to me for thinking I could take an ancient spirit of immense power lightly. It feels like this day shall never end!'

Princess Celestia was waiting for them when they reached the carriage. "It's Discord, the spirit of chaos and disha-" Rarity held up a hoof.

"Number four on our list of threats. I assume you have the copy that disappeared from my sock drawer?"

The solar alicorn spared a moment to grin, "Those were not my orders, but yes, the Director passed it along to me." She paused, "Tell me, will that poor agent's coat and mane ever go back to their original colors?"

"Give it a month. The Elements?"

"Where I'm taking you now." Celestia frowned, "I am only putting this burden on you six because we have no choice. Luna and I cannot bond with the Elements again." With that the Princess raised her wings as a flash of light replaced orchard with marble halls. "This is as close as I could take us, the rest of the way is warded, please hurry."

** * **** *** **** * **

They entered a long hall with ornate stained glass windows, displaying various scenes of strife and heroism in Equestria's history. Each pony glanced warily at the depiction of a Draconequus holding marionette sticks to make ponies below him dance, one more reminder of the price of failure.

"I was wondering, Princess, how exactly did the two of you distribute the Elements between yourselves?" Twilight asked, the question had nagged her since learning the history of the artifact.

The alicorn smiled as she placed her horn into a depression in the wall, "Keep the world from descending into bedlam and I will answer any questions you have." The wall opened in an arcane combination of unfolding and disappearance. "Now each of you take your..."

"Princess, that's a nice box and all, but it's kinda'... empty." Dash pointed out. Her friends leaned in close to make sure the artifacts weren't hiding in the bottom of the box.

"Impossible, this vault was sealed with a powerful spell that only I can break - this doesn't make sense." The Princess pondered, pacing and perplexed.

Mocking laughter echoed up and down the hallway, a voice rang out seemingly from nowhere, "Make sense? Oh what fun is there in making sense?" the six friends instinctively circled, backs facing each other, to find the source of the mocking laughter.

Celestia turned her head about, stamping a hoof in frustration, "Discord... show yourself!"

Shadows flew across the stained glass as another gale of laughter spun around the assembled ponies, coming to rest on the now animate image of Discord, who took a bow. He spoke as he flitted between the panels, mocking the figures in each tableau. "Did you miss me, Celestia? I missed you. It's quite lonely being encased in stone," He came to rest upon the representation of the Elements in their previous form. Slouched against a pony praising the Pony Sisters, he sighed before turning to glare at the ruler of Equestria. "But you wouldn't know that, would you? Because I don't turn ponies into stone." He knocked upon the figure's head, the sound like a hammer on granite.

"Eno-" The princess began.

"Discord, the Spirit of Disharmony? Good evening, my name is Rarity Bell. As a member of the country and world of Equestria, I ask you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the next convenient parallel dimension." Every being present stared at Rarity. She didn't blink, waiting for the creature's reply.

"Off script so soon my dear? I heartily approve. The dutiful assistant Professor Bell, representing the Spirit of Chance, if I'm not mistaken." His wide and toothy grin had a gap where another being would have their right canine.

"Oh, is that what it's called? How appropriate, I have been a 'chancer' for quite some time."

A yellow pegasus fluttered toward the rogue image, "You aren't the only exile to return to Equestria recently. Isn't there any way we can settle this peacefully?" Fluttershy looked at the image of Discord, searching for some redeeming quality.

Discord circled the hall windows twice at high speed, "The incorruptible 'Hurricane' Fluttershy, bearer of the Element of Loyalty." His sneer belied the praise of his words, "Why am I not surprised you are the one trying to appeal to my better nature? Really, all I want to do is show everypony a good time." He gestured down the valley, toward Ponyville and the country beyond, almost in supplication, "What is life without a surprise or two? Unrelenting, static, in a word boooring."

The banter grated on Twilights nerves, "You know who we are, congratulations. Where are the Elements of Harmony?"

"Ever the faithful stu- err, the Elements? I've borrowed them for just a moment, Twilight Sparkle." the creature grinned as he stretched into one of the blank windows, yawning luxuriously. "Element of Honesty or whatever." he added.

The two dimensional spirit of chaos reached over to pull one of his marionette ponies out of it's panel and play with it. "Why exactly are we talking to a tacky window dressing?" Dash grumbled.

Discord looked up, casually tossing the puppet aside, "Well well well, Rainbow Dash, spirit of ... Generosity," he snickered, "how are you today my dear? Are all your shoes on securely - wouldn't want you to throw a nail now, would we?" He grinned as Rainbow's face paled.

"A bully picks upon the perceived weaknesses of others to hide their own inadequacies." Dianne stepped between the blue pegasus and window. When Discord made to reply she interrupted him "Save your breath, I am Pinkamina Dianne Pie, bearer of the Element of Kindness, and not overly fond of the sound of your voice."

"Excuse me, Discord, but... when do you get to the part with the chaos? Not that I particularly want you to wreck stuff, but frankly you've just been kinda' silly so far." Jackie asked, hoof raised as though it were a grade-school class discussion.

Discord lowered his eyebrows, "Flying cotton candy clouds, rains of chocolate milk, rabbits and squirrels taller than you? Ring any bells?" He idly tapped the icon of the 'Bell of Starswirl' on one of the earlier panels, which produced an 'Ahwhoogah!' noise.

"...and you made all th' apples on the trees grow real large. But what Ah'm gettin' at is: that's not Chaos."

"Come again?"

"Oh it's might jerky, and unexpected. I suppose that's kind of close, but from what I hear, Chaos is random, unpredictable-like. So far, all you've done is make corny jokes." She leaned in and raised an eyebrow, "Pop.Corn... really?"

Discord crossed his arms, "Oh come on! Those are classics. Really, how did you end up as the Element of Laughter, miss Apple Jaques?"

Celestia stepped forward again, "Stop stalling, Discord! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?"

The Draconequus swam over to their representations before replying, "Aand back to business as, "he made a gagging noise, "usual. Sooo boring." he expanded until only his upper torso and head were visible, raising his right paw with his index digit extended. "Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way." Reaching into the surrounding windows, he wove his arms back and forth in hypnotic patterns, "to retrieve your missing elements just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began." The creature vanished from the window, mocking laughter lingering for several seconds.

**** *

"Ah don't get it, how was that Chaotic? He just pranced around like a jerk." Jackie muttered.

"Twists and turns... " Dianne muttered.

"Oh, I don't know, how about the easily visible Labyrinth over there?" Rarity pointed out the window.

"No." Twilight declared with a stamp. "He wasn't talking about being freed from the statue. He was talking about us, about our discovery of the Elements." The others nodded along.

"So, the first time we all decided to go after them was after reading the Guide in Ponyville Library." Jackie mused.

"You know he's not going to play fair." Fluttershy remarked, stretching her wings in anticipation of another long campaign.

Rarity smiled in a way not at all reassuring, "Maybe not, but we have to take our cha... oh drat, now I'm going to feel self-conscious whenever I say that word now."

"Twists and turns... I mislike the sound of that phrasing." Dianne worried at the riddle. "Twists and turns... master plan. Why would Chaos need a plan?"

"Well, duh, to stop us Di." Dash quipped, "but we'll just be smarter and better prepared."

"Rainbow, just how do you think we're going to prepare for the unexpected?" Jackie asked.

"We'll just have to be ready for anything." the pegasus huffed.

"Right now we should be getting ready to get back to Ponyville." Flutershy pondered.

"That much at least I can help you with." Celestia drew the assembled ponies' attention to the courtyard, where a pegasus drawn chariot touched down. Technical Ponies unhitched the current crew and harnessed a second set of pegasi.

Twilight looked at the vehicle, "Uh, Princess, why can't we just teleport back?"

"Discord allowed us to come here so that he could show himself and taunt us. It is no longer safe to count upon anything you cannot view directly... " she shook her head, " and don't trust what you do see."

The six ponies boarded the chariot and were flown aloft, leaving the Solar Princess alone in the courtyard. Well, almost alone. A white unicorn in golden armor raced out of the opposite hallway. "Twilight!" cried the captain of the guard. The chariot was just vanishing from view as he panted his way up to his sovereign. "I, huff, I don't understand Princess, why didn't you come get me? I could have helped."

The look of confusion and hurt on her subject's face did nothing to quell Celestia's own worries. "I had you assigned to watch the opposite side of the castle because I knew that if you were present you'd have insisted on going with them-"

"Of course I would have!"

"I see, I was not briefed on your specialized training against the influence of raw Chaos."

"Training in what?"

"Your loyalty to your family is admirable," she let him squirm for a moment before continuing, "but your company would only have distracted Twilight. Nopony is safe from Discord's mischief, and those six are only protected by their bonds of friendship."

"But I can't just do nothing!" The unicorn pleaded.

"Then believe in your sister. Let her be the champion today, trust in her."

The Guard Captain wrestled with the idea for a moment before returning to decorum, "I... I'll try, your Majesty. But it's hard, it's so hard to see her like that - in my heart she's always going to be the filly with her nose in a book."

"Your sister is and will be many ponies. Try to get to know and love them all." it wasn't clear who the princess was talking to. Shining took it as his dismissal and left the courtyard more quietly than he had entered.

** ** *

Surely now she was alone. "I'm not going to look, Discord."

"Growing up really made you into such a sourpuss, you know that?"

"I am going to offer you one last chance to end all of this. Just walk away, I will allow you your personal freedom."

"Celly, you don't start negotiations by offering the other party what they already have. I'm the spirit of Chaos and even I know that."

"You're living on borrowed time right now. You're going to make them hate you, and they will defeat you."

"Your little child soldiers?" the Draconequus snorted.

"They are not children." The princess sighed, "not anymore. And they are not my anything."

"Yeah, hard not to notice how well you get along with the white one."

"Do you know why they're going to beat you, Discord?"

"That isn't going to happen."

"Because they have more heart than you."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

The alicorn smiled, "Don't worry, you won't."

"Oh I'm pretty sure you're wrong."

"Want to bet on it?"

"What? The scrupulous leader of the free nation of Equestria, indulging in gambling? You're on. What stakes?"

"A four-layer chocolate and marzipan cake."

"That's pretty random. Done." Discord pulled an hourglass out of nowhere.

Celestia finally turned to look at him, eyed the clock and rolled her eyes. "Is it really necessary to this?"

"It's for my own good, Celestia. Just think of it as a vacation... for the rest of your life." He flipped the top of the glass open, revealing it to be empty inside, and snatched a nearby portion of the Solar Princess's mane, pulling something like a transparent outline off her and pouring it into the glass, which was now full of sand. As he secured the top again he admired his handiwork: a fluffy white alicorn filly with bright pink mane and no cutie mark. "Don't worry my dear, I even included your speech impediment."

The filly looked up at him in confusion, "I nevow had a speech impediment."

"Oh? My mistake. Now you do." The Draconequus skated off, leaving bright sparks behind on the cobbles as his claws gouged the ground.

* ** **

The Princess of the Night felt her world quake, bouncing with an insistence that threatened to throw her to and fro. 'A moment, I'm in bed what- a weight crashed into her, prompting the princess to leap out of the bed and to her feet, charging her horn she assessed the threat. 'What assassin could breach my private sanctum without alerting my wards?'

A white head poked out from under the comforter, a shock of pink hair spilling out. Luna's eyes widened, "Sister? Who hast done," 'has' , I am supposed to say 'has' now., "this to you. Has Cronus been resurrected?"

The frowning filly finished freeing herself, "Wowse, Discowd has escaped." 'For the love of Faust, please don't notice... '

The midnight mare burst out laughing as she scooped up her newly little sister, "I see he has given you an adorable speech pattern."

"Woonaaa! We must be sewious now. Gweat pewil faces us... stop laughing and me!"

"A-apologies, dearest sister." The younger-now-elder sister schooled her face, "so then we must again call upon Harmony to save Equestria. As such all we can do is maintain what little stability we can." Luna fought to keep a grin off her muzzle as she idly asked, "tell me sister, which one is the bearer of the sixth element?"

Celestia cocked her eyebrow, "You know it's Wawity... it's not funny!" she stomped before giving up and joining her sister in a giggling fit. 'Oh please hurry, little ponies, or there may not be anything left for you to save.

originally published Nov 7, 2012

For Want of a War, Γ (Gamma)

Chapter 6,
For want of a war
Γ Gamma

She shook her head, trying to clear some of the cobwebs, and smacked into an unyielding but not hard surface. 'What is?- it all came back to her in a sudden rush.

*** ** ***

The chariot had landed close to the library outside of town, the six running the last leg themselves. Arriving at the library they had discovered Spike sitting outside on the grass, tears of frustration in his eyes, chained to a stake in the ground. After freeing him and determining he was unharmed, Rarity's panic became a simmering rage. Then somepony noticed the new sign over the door: "No Running, No Flying, No Magic, No Yelling, and No Pets."

There was nothing to do but follow the white unicorn as she charged the library - her shouts suddenly shifting to silence as she passed the threshold. Which is where things started to get confused.

Draconequus in a sweater-vest, tweed coat (with elbow patches), and glasses. First time seeing him in three dimensions, not helped by the costume. Crashing noise as Fluttershy tries to fly and - Jackie points out the lack of horns and wings. Somepony tries to scream, all that comes out is a quiet squeak. Everypony tries to talk at once, which is more confusing than one would expect with all voices at a raised whisper. The mad jumble of noise and books and pony seemed to stretch on for a month or two before -

"Girls, girls, girls..." Discord raised his paws in a placating motion, "I enjoy a good bedlam as mu-" he glanced at the pony closest to him, frowning - "...I probably like mass panic more than all of you put together, but I'm on a limited schedule here. So what can't I do for you?"

Rarity reined herself in, "We want the Elements of Harmony, Discord. We- Twilight figured out your riddle and... " Rarity saw something she didn't at all care for in draconequus's expression. "Well Jacqueline, it looks like you were right. Come on girls, he has moved them."

"Now hold on there, Assistant Professor Bell, I never said the Elements weren't here-"

"You don't have to. I, 'sir', know 'hogwash' when I see it. With the expression on your face right now, you could head over to Sweet Apple Acres after this and see to their pigs."

"Actually, Rarity, pigs are surprisingly good at grooming themselves - we almost never have to -"

"Twi? It's an expression, sug. An' you just ruined it. That feller isn't fit to wash hogs."

"Twists and turns... beginnings. Argh, I almost have it..." a pink pony pondered, perplexed.

The blue former pegasus stepped forward, "I think I've got this one girls. Yo, D, any chance you'd be willing to just put the Elements back where they should be?"

The serpentine figure loomed over the ponies, leering slightly, "Oh sure, I can put the Elements in their proper locations, from which your amateur librarian friend here could easily find them - in this library, Chaos's honor. Is that what you want?"

Everypony knew this wasn't going to turn out well, Rainbow Dash included, but she didn't seem to be able to stop herself from nodding. Then everything went black.

***** *** *** *** *****

Twiilght shook her head, which felt disturbingly light without... 'No, I do not have the time to panic.' The filtered sunlight told her it was still daytime. Hard wood below and above her and the singular scent of aged paper mingled to remind her of library trips past - 'No, damn it, NOT NOW!' with several violent lurches she managed to unwedge herself from her bookshelf prison.

She stood up, groaning and stretching after her shelved confinement. She was sure, looking around, that she was still in the library. 'So what section am I... ' she looked at the sign hanging nearby which read REFERENCE: Apples - Astronomy 'I don't know whether to growl, laugh, or cry... feathered smartequuss.' It was obvious Twilight needed to hurry, find her friends, try to retrieve the Elements of Harmony, and check on her laundry. 'Now hold on a minute, what I really need to do right now is thi- … who in the name of - GET OUT OF MY HEAD!'

The draconequus staggered back, the powerful psychic outburst having disoriented him for a moment. He smacked his lips together, "... why do I taste pine?" Further quips were cut off as a loud bang was followed by several bookshelves falling like dominoes, only to crash on top of the creature, covering all but his head and lion's paw in copies of Encyclopedia Equestria.

"What the hay is wrong with you!?" Twilight hissed in as loud a whisper as the library's twisted rules would allow. Not being able to shout made her angrier. "You're like some horrible eighth-yearling who's discovered that ants and magnifying glasses don't go together on sunny days, and keeps at it!" If she could reach into the green, maybe she could calm down, feel the web of life around her... 'Oh, right, somequus TOOK MY HORN.' "Aren't you several hundred - if not thousand - years old? How can making others miserable still be so attractive to you?"

"Oh save your moralizing for someone who buys your act, Twilight Sparkle." Discord rolled his eyes, grunting as he turned his head to face the purple ~~uni~~ pony. "Element of Honesty? Ha! I couldn't have made a funnier joke if I had been trying."

"The spirit of Disharmony is lecturing me about morality... what in Equestria am I doing with my life?" Twilight wailed, placing a hoof over her muzzle. She brought it back down with an audible bang, "Oh, yeah, I'm helping to SAVE THE WORLD. Your jab is a little weak, Discord."

"When I start attacking your character, you'll know it. Uhff." two hundred hard-bound reference guides turn out to be a pretty heavy pile of things to be pinned under. "But I stand... figuratively, by my statement. You. Are. Not. Honest." His paw gestured as Twilight made to reply, "ah ah ah, you may see things clearly, you may even blurt out inconvenient personal thoughts rather than keeping anything from ponies around you - but I know the truth. All of the things you say are a screen to keep from having to say the things you really don't want to. Give ponies enough of a taste of the truth and they won't ask for seconds, am I right?" he leered a conspiratorial grin.

"You just contradicted yourself. I mean, I do share thoughts that I have that I'd rather not - because they lead to secrets. So if I don't hide my worst thoughts from ponies, there's nothing left for me to-"

"Dear sweet Faust with a hand cramp, I half believe you have yourself fooled too!"

"Discord, nothing you... oh no, I'm not making that mistake. Look, I'm convinced that I'm right - and that you're pretty much a jerk. Under those circumstances your attempts to undermine my identity with such a transparent ruse are pathetic. Just let us have the Elements of Harmony, I promise I'll talk to the others and we can work something out - hay, I almost feel sorry for you."

"You do!?" Discord exclaimed, disappearing under the pile of books and somehow popping up behind the surprised pony, only to pick her up in a hearty hug. "Oh wisn't dat jus thu' sweetesht thing?" He set her back on the ground, hopping up to sit on top of the pile of books. "I am a changed spirit. Just do one teensy little thing for me and I'll give you the whole set of elements, pinkie promise." his paws made a complex series of motions that looked like he wanted to poke out his eye.

"A what now?" Twilight deadpanned.

Discord's smile fell, "that just cost you some of my good mood. Nevermind. I will believe in your true blue honesty if you can tell me the worst thoughts you have for three of the ponies you're closest to."

"This is one of your games, isn't it? Fine."

"That's the spirit! I'll start you with an easy one." The serpentine creature held a dark red cloth, which he whipped into the air, revealing a pony-length mirror as the cloth snapped back down.

Instead of Twilight's reflection, however, an image of her white and purple friend appeared, horn and all. "Rarity? Well..." she chewed her lip for a moment, "she's... she can be really cranky. And when she thinks somepony is being mean to her or condescending or anything, she gets very snippy... like too much, more than whatever the other pony was doing. I mean, sometimes she even feels bad about it afterward." Discord made a rolling motion with his paws. "Okay, she can be a nag sometimes. I love her, she's one of my best friends, but she really can be a nag."

The spirit of chaos tilted his head back and forth, tilting his eagle claw side to side, "Okay, I'll accept that. Next." With another ripple of cloth, the image in the mirror became that of her big brother, Shining Armor - sans armor.

Twilight laughed, "This is easier than the last one. Shiny has, like, no ability to stand up to mares. None. Big strong Stallion, Captain of the Royal Guard, master of shield magic, awesome big brother, but he's a pushover when a mare starts shouting. It's about as sad as it is adorable, but it almost cost him the love of his life."

"Oho, I think you're getting into the spirit of this. But the last one isn't going to be as easy." Discord pushed back imaginary sleeves and rolled his shoulders before flourishing the cloth a third time, and when it came down there stood before twilight a light purple unicorn mare with white, gray, and lavender mane.

Twilight's shocked expression was mirrored perfectly. "My mother!?" She glared at Discord, "fine, you want to know what I don't tell my mother, why I've avoided all possible contact with my parents for years - why I even begged Fluttershy to help me deal with them when I was ambushed at the Gala?" She turned her attention back to the other pony, her brows furrowed in a glare of indignation, frustration, and hurt. "It's because I could never be good enough for her. 'We're just worried about your future, dear'. Do you know she gave me a doll with a notepad, so I could pretend the doll was doing homework!?" Discord casually wiped the 'No Yelling' rule off his sign, nodding for the apoplectic purple pony to continue.

Tears of frustration formed in the corners of her eyes. "All those panic attacks, the test anxiety, my active avoidance of making friends - yeah, that's right, all through grade school I thought friends would just put me behind on my studies! I'm glad I failed the application for Celestia's School because I don't think anything less than being the Princess's star pupil would have satisfied them. I was completely neurotic..."She raked her hooves through her mane, screaming at the image, "I WAS A CHILD! Why couldn't you let me be one? I loved you, I still love you, I just can't stand the sight of you... "

It was while she paused to get her breath back that Twilight noticed the soft hiccuping sound. Red rimmed eyes mirrored her own, tears streaming down her mother's face... and no mirror to be seen. "I... oh Celestia, I never meant to hurt you... we just... ohhhhhh." Twilight started to reach a hoof when a snap of red fabric whirled across her vision and replaced the confrontation with a corridor of bookshelves.

"No- that wasn't what you said... but I... "

"You meant every word, Twilight Sparkle. In Manehattan they charge hundreds of bits an hour for service like that."

The mare couldn't even bring herself to glare at the patchwork creature standing over her. "I... that was all me. If I had ever talked to her you wouldn't have been able to..." color began to leach from her hooves.

Discord knelt next to her, touching the top of her mane as he whispered in her ear, "Honest words can cut the deepest, becoming the cruelest of acts. To keep from losing loved ones, you must find other tacts. If you can't baffle them with horse apples, blind them with facts." Twilight's eyes swirled in a mix of muddy colors as the last of her coat and mane grayed. "Goodbye, my only worthy opponent."

The spirit of disharmony slithered away muttering to himself. "I'm through playing around. This time I am NOT going to lose, I'm NOT going to be a statue EVER AGAIN!"

** *** **

The clatter of hooves could be heard down the library. A staccato rhythm with a repeating frequency of approximately fourteen point eight seconds, worried but not yet in a panic.

"Twilight, darling! I'm so glad to see you, come on, we need to find the others."

"The most effective search pattern, known as a grid search, is a pattern of repeating divisions of unsearched space into consecutively smaller quadrants." Twilight trotted after the white mare, staring forward with disinterest.

"Err, thank you dear." Rarity bit her lip as she glanced at her friend, 'Something is wrong here, but we have so little time. I'll just have to figure it out on the hoof, as it were.' "I'm not going to lose to you, Discord."

For want of a War, Δelta

Chapter 6,
For want of a war
Delta

Dianne paced the aisles, determined not to let distractions stop her from unraveling the riddle. True, Discord had meant it to be another method of distracting them from stopping his reign of... after pausing for a few moments she decided the voices did in fact mean to keep their word and not disrupt her efforts. The pony continued to wander in mind and body.

Three pink butterflies fluttered past her. Now where had she been in her ponderings? 'Yes, even though the riddle is a trick, Discord is too egocentric not to have included a solution that actually sheds light on what he did with the elements - I doubt he would miss a chance to gloat.' An overworked looking butterfly pulled three balloons past. 'That being said, turning and twistings are similar enough that it bears questioning whether they were both included as poetic license or to emphasize whatever turning or whirling is involved.' Three pinwheeling crosses of blue and yellow energy cartwheeled past. 'Uncertain, but the question of origin -' three butterflies pulling three balloons, each of which was emblazoned with the plus shaped symbol used to identify medical supplies drifted by.

The pink pony found herself wanting to grin. 'This is far too easy.' Schooling her expression, she addressed the next floating mass of symbolism, "This is ridiculous and I will not have it. If you have something to discuss, Discord, declaim it, else depart."

Insects, crosses, and balloons all popped out of existence. The puppet master himself materialized wearing a scowl to match Dianne's own. "Okay, easy way it is then." he snarled, advancing upon the earth pony.

She did not appear impressed. "Very well, if you will not speak, then I will. I am ready to guess."

"Wut?" the draconequus paused, too intrigued by the possibility of entertainment to disregard an obvious delay.

"Your riddle: 'Twists and tur-' "

"I think I know it, thanks. Let's hear your 'guess'."

"The site of the Cloudboom."

Discord's expression became a mask of disinterest. "What in Equestria lead you to that conclusion?"

The pink pony looked crestfallen, "I - I am mistaken?"

"I didn't say that, I didn't even imply it. I want to hear how you got that idea out of the riddle."

"The riddle ends with 'start back where you began', which must mean when the assembly of the current band of Bearers of the Elements of Harmony were tied together by fate. Twilight obviously read you like a book -"

"I never said they were ever here." Discord snapped.

Dianne did not grace the remark with a verbal response. "Ahem. Continuing, that meant you would have to default to the earlier tieing of our fates, the Cloudboom. After considering it, the 'twists and turns' could be reference to the funnel cloud of the storm. Certainly recreating the storm would be little work for the likes of you, an' would further complicate our efforts to retrieve the elements."

Discord clapped slowly. "Well well well, you're not a complete waste of character after all. I'm totally going to use that." the beast of many parts deepened his smile as the pony before him began to glare. "Honestly, I was just going to drop them off at the Canterlot Gardens and call it a draw after you six showed up here. Crafting a paradox and making you responsible for it sounds like a lot more fun though." He pulled out a curious looking hourglass filled with a translucent multi-hued pastel substance. "Plus it gives me something to do with this."

"W-what is that?" 'Pale green, blue, and pink, I mislike this... '

"Oh this old stuff? I just ended up with some extra time on my hands."

'Holey guacamole, that looks like Princess Celestia's hair'

'Or cotton candy'

'Or Celestia flavored cotton candy'

"SHUT UP!"

"Oh you do not get to talk to me like that. You did me one favor, don't think-"

"Not you, although you may cease your prattling - I'd not complain."

"Oh-khay, the crazy was amusing for about five seconds - but you're starting to bore me, again." Discord began advancing upon the pink pony.

'I have but one chance at this.' 'At what?' 'Hush. The Posey School of the Healing Arts Ultimate Technique.' She focused all her willpower into her sight, transfixing Discord with the force of a thousand disappointed parents, teachers, and small animals. "How Dare You!"

Discord found himself unable to move, unable to look away, unable to do much of anything. Shock overcame amusement, on its way to panic and then fury. "I'm going to get even with you spoilsports by showing you just how much FUN chaos can be."

"You have done nothing but toy with the lives and sanity of ponies since you obtained your freedom. Whatever grievance you may have had with ponykind, those responsible have been dust for millennia."

He moved his right foot forward, struggling to shift his weight. "Ha! Your precious princess turned me to stone-"

"You got better. Without bringing us your grievances there is no way we can even decide if reparations are needed." The angle of her eyes softened, but did not lose any intensity "This cannot be the only solution."

Maybe... maybe this wasn't the only way to secure his freedom. Raise foot. What if he was making a horrible mistake? Left foot forward. "You're slipping, Miss Pie, that was almost funny."

Sweat drenched the pony's coat, the desire to blink was almost overwhelming. "One of Jackie's cousins maintains that the difference between comedy and tragedy is whether you are struck by a train or he stubs a hoof."

He loved a good joke and rampant Chaos, but was hurting ponies really worth it? Shift weight. How would it feel to be welcome when he arrived somewhere? One. More. Step... Finally, he was within reach. "You lose, Miss Pie," he reached out a struggling arm and tapped the pink pony's forehead, draining her of color.

The amalgam smirked as the familiar rings of dull color swirled in the pony's eyes, leaning forward he hissed into her ears, "too much nurture makes for an idle mind, sometimes you must be cruel to be kind." the strain of the struggle was offset by the satisfaction of his success.

The fading finished. "Of course, it all makes sense now... suffering, pain, despair, ponies never learn without consequences!" Di hiccuped once, twice, the third bouncing her into the air. She shook all over, inflated to a sphere, shrank to a pink mote, and popped back into view in full color - her hair frizzling wildly about her head and tail. The pink mare examined herself, speaking in a lower register. "Well this is... weird."

"Just who are you supposed to be?" Discord asked, teetering between annoyance and amusement. 'Focus'

"Bubble Berry, at your disservice, Discord." 'Berry' looked the chaos spirit over, "Y'know, I think I prefer you as Eris. Uh, not because of, you know, but because you just look so weird with a beard."

"Right, this conversation is over - nopony insults the beard." Discord reached out to dislodge the interloper, and found there was no pony in front of him.

Berry hopped off disharmony's tail, continuing his ramble, "On the other hoof, it certainly makes fighting you easier - Pa always said not to hit girls. They tend to hit back - and let me tell you, it hurts." Running up the larger creature's back he jumped off Discord's head launching the amalgam into a nearby bookshelf. "Or I could just show you, I guess. That works."

Pulling his head out of 'A Crash Course in Falling', the draconequus muttered to himself. "Great, now this is happening, apparently." Discord grabbed the 'Be-Bi' volume of Encyclopedia Equestria, pulling a struggling Berry from between the covers. "Ha, gotcha you little punk!"

After another tap, the pink pony turned gray again. "Well, that was an interesting thing for a mare to have hiding in her mind - but I have things to people and places to do." The discorded pony began vibrating at high speed, seemed to inflate, and then curled in upon herself, everting at the last moment.

Once again she stood in full color, though her hair hung like limp weeds, covering much of her face. What was visible was a demented grin and an eye with a pinprick pupil. She glanced around, simultaneously familiar with her surroundings and disoriented, "Finally free again!" she cackled, humming a catchy tune.

"That is sooo not happening." Discord bopped her on the head.

Her form hadn't even finished it's color-fade before it seemed to move in four directions at once, the mass snapping back into place and revealing a pink pony with very curly hair. Confusion and amusement ran across her face in tandem as she took in her surroundings. "Ohmigosh that was weird. Dissy? Library? Wait, this all makes sense now... " the poofy pink pony dodged Discord's descending digit as she spoke, "uh, have you seen a unicorn, an earth pony, and a pegasus by any chance?"

"What? You're going to have to be more specific than that. I've seen plenty of ponies. Better yet, just hold still!"

"Oh don't be silly, Mister Meanie pants," Duck, roll. "I already spent three weeks without sleep thanks to you - not doing that again anytime soon!" She hopped over Discord's last swipe, alighting upon his outstretched arm, "huh, come to think of it, they're never given descriptions are they?" She stopped to ponder the question, and the spirit of Chaos took advantage, grabbing her and performing another discording. This time he managed to maintain a hold, the past few experiences suggesting he wasn't finished yet.

"Ohh, not so tight..." moaned yet another incarnation.

"This is definitely the wrong kind of story for you." Bop.

Flat hair again, but there seemed to be a sane mind behind this one. "Great, so now I'm the one in the wrong head?" Bop.

With a flash Discord lost his grip on a white pegasus. Pop! The pony plunged earthward as her wings disappeared. "Surpri-", Bop. And again...

"Waaaaait! Pinkie wishes to spread pain and misery. Would you consider me for an apprentice? Just let Pinkie have the yellow one to practice on." she cackled like a deranged lab assistant.

"Sorry, I'm not accepting applications at this time." Bop.

"Oh thank gypsy magic, I'm finally out of that time loop!" Bop.

"What is this? Where is the farm, what are you?" Bop.

"Hey, getcha' hands offa me ya freak." Bop.

"Wow, you're not a statue anymore - again!" Bo- Discord wasn't holding a pony anymore...

Moments later, the pink pony trotted back toward Discord, licking chocolate milk off her muzzle. "Sorry, I just had to try it one more time. Chocolate rain - you have so many good ideas, why do you go and spoil it by being such a Meanie-face Mc-jerkpants?"

Discord paused, "Wait, are you -" perhaps all of this would lead up to something worthwhile...

"Close enough, I think." Rearing onto her back hooves, the pink pony pulled a slightly chewed rubber chicken from... somewhere and began spinning it between her forehooves. "Now let's settle this, Pinkie Pi-" the pony clutched her head, another round of transformation occurring, more erratic and violent than any of the previous. "I-I don't want to go. I don't want to go!" The pony's outline glowed with such an intense pink that it was blinding for a moment.

The serpentine creature stared in disbelief at the restored Dianne. "You... you really are the worst Pie, ever. That was going to be an epic battle - and you couldn't wait another five minutes."

Her color began to fade immediately, and yet she smiled in a manner serene. "Now I know. I truly am my own pony. I beat her, do you hear me? I was stronger, my mind is my own." She gestured at her neck as the final stages of the color fade progressed, "This is nothing. No hue or shade shall hold power over me again. Soon enough I will be coming for you..."

The grayed pink pony found she wasn't talking to anypony. It didn't matter, some stupid whiner would be along soon enough - looking for a kick in the flank they didn't know they needed. A thin smile creased her mouth as the sound of hooves on wooden flooring reached her.

Presently two ponies arrived. "Dianne! What a relief to find another level head. Come, let's find the others-" Rarity turned to head off in a new direction, when she felt herself kicked from behind. "Ouch! What are you doing?"

"The third law of motion dictates that when an object acts upon another object, both are subject to the same force."

"Hear that? Twilight says Your stupid flank is attacking my hooves. Stop it."

"Not you too. Augh, I do not have time for this!"

"Somepony's cranky, what's the matter - forget your afternoon nap?"

"Current research suggests the term 'siesta' is not, and never has been, part of the Prench language."

"Diane, I promise I will figure out what is wrong with you and Twilight, and together we will fix it. But if there is any chance I can stop Discord from altering our other friends, I must hurry!"

"Oh by all means, why don't you just run off and fail again? Your plan is working out sooo well so far!"

'I can't listen to her, not while there is still a chance.' "I'm leaving now, will you come along peacefully?"

"Whatever, if it gets me out of this stupid place."

"The three hundred and thirty second digit of one over three is three."

"Fascinating. Come on girls, pull yourselves together."

"Mane, do you have the wrong ponies... "

For Want of a War, Epsilon

Chapter 6,
For Want of a War
Epsilon

She climbed the last rung, pausing to maintain her balance, more difficult without - 'don't think about it, think about the problem and the solution.' Both forehooves on the top, she moved her right hind leg onto the top of the ladder, experiencing a moment of vertigo. ' Right, maze. Some ponies use that old 'stick to the left-hoof side' method. Doesn't work in a maze where the walls aren't all contiguous.' Now she raised her left hind leg into the air, bending deeply at the knee, and brought it down on top of the shelf. 'I say why accept the rules presented to you?' Rainbow Dash allowed herself a smirk of satisfaction as she surveyed the library from on top of her bookshelf perch.

A moment later she caught a glimpse of orange and yellow as her earth pony friend climbed another stack some distance away. 'That's funny, why do I feel jealous all of a sudden? Not important, the two of us should have an easier time getting everypony back together.' Dash waved as vigorously as she could without threatening her balance. A moment later she was rewarded with an answering wave from Jackie - who pointed at a row of bookshelves halfway between the two. The blue mare nodded and began negotiating her way along the top of their bookbound maze.

Half a dozen hoofsteps later the inventor felt she had regained her sense of balance and was moving at a quicker pace when a flash of pink caught her eye, off to the side. "Di? Is that you... " she was not prepared for the scene of farcical combat she beheld as she moved closer. "Hang on, I'm coming!", the former pegasi knew that with Discord's 'No Loud Voices' rule Dianne likely hadn't heard her, but she felt she had to say it anyhoof.

The conflict was taking a turn for the worse... she thought. 'It's like they're reaching through non-euclidean four dimensional space! I could see the spirit of Chaos doing that, but Dianne? No time to worry about it - I'm not losing anypony today or any other day.' By the time she had made it to the two combatants - in the 'Self Help' section - Dash knew it was already over. Watching her quiet friend shrink and inflate, folding in on herself and warping in ways matter clearly never could, she felt sick to her stomach. It was a relief to see her finally return to her original form... even if she looked as though she were being drained of color and tone.

The final straw was the look of disappointment and outright boredom on Discord's face. Without thinking she leapt from the shelftop at the draconequus's head, her shriek of rage sounding like an angry balloon with a pinprick.

For his part, the spirit of disharmony never saw it coming. One moment he was trying to figure out how to salvage anything from his waste of an encounter with not-Pinkie and then - WHAM! Pony-to-the-head. His instinct was to curl up and try to lessen the impact, but he hadn't counted on full-contact full-spectrum pony grabbing onto his neck and refusing to let go - so the two of them ended up rolling like a wheel - only coming to rest when they finally crashed into a stack of 'Daring Do' novels set up to commemorate the upcoming release of the thirteenth novel of the series.

**** *** ****

"Ohff. For the record, Miz Dash, that is not the right kind of rainbow to hit me with."

"You son of a timberwolf, I saw what you did to Dianne I'm gonna-"

"Who?"

"Dianne: twentysomething mare, about yea tall, pink coat and pink hair, kinda mellow, medical cutie mark-"

"Oh, so that's what she calls herself. So, what, should I call you 'Danger' then? I think Rainbow Crash is a better-"

The advantage to performing martial arts, even in a relaxed form like Tail-Chi, is that when you really need a move your body knows what to do with barely a thought. Dash found herself standing on her hind legs, forehooves extended, left under right, in the final stance of 'Pony tosses beachball' by the time she had decided she was going to hit the trash talking amalgamation. The aforementioned was busy picking himself out of a pile of young adult novels.

"Ouch. I really mean that - oww. We haven't even gotten to the serious discussion yet."

"Stop acting like you know us. Do you know, when Rare first told me about what happened to you, I actually felt bad for you? But you're a jerk. Doesn't make any of this ok, but I can see how you're making this all so much worse - and I bet you don't even see it-"

"Aht, ah ah... " Discord wagged a claw in admonition, "one accusation of how horrible a monster I truly am at a time. I'm assuming you came to that last show a little late, but let me make this clear to you: your friend did that to herself - she directly rejected help from a source I never expected, and instead chose to... take on a different perspective."

"That can't be the whole story."

"It never is, but in this case nothing I have said is a lie, or even much of a twisting of events."

"What about the crazy bent space stuff?"

"I couldn't do that to her if I wanted to."

"Really?"

"Well, let me put it this way: if I were to bend and twist a pony like that, what you'd be left with a would not look like a pony."

"I still don't like you."

"None of us ever appreciate our creditors, 'Danger' "

"Pffft! That was funny, I'll give you that - but you've never- … ergh, stupid language rules."

Discord frowned, "this is at least the second time I've seen one of you ponies stumble over your choice of words - what are you doing?"

Rainbow Dash eyed the creature of chaos and shrugged, "I can't see how telling you can make anything worse: One of the things we went over about dealing with you 'deific' types is to avoid using absolute terms, stuff like 'Never', 'Always', and 'Anything'. Specifically we're not supposed to give you anything that sounds like a challenge or the sort of thing a hero says in story and then comes to regret when 'somehow' her words end up being ironically twisted into some horseapple of a situation."

The draconequus stared at her for so long that the pony didn't expect a reply of any kind. "If you ponies are doing this on purpose, I am not amused." He paced, paws behind his back. "It was Celestia, wasn't it? I knew she'd never keep her end."

"What are you saying about the Princess?" Rainbow bridled, ready to get back to kicking some 'quus.

"This whole... you know what, it would be easier to show you than tell you."

"Hold on a second, I think I hear the others-"

Discord snapped his fingers together, he and the spectrum over blue mare disappearing in a flash of light.

*** * ***

They stood on ground that didn't exist, in a place that wasn't there anymore, watching fillies and colts who had long since grown into adults. Everything had a faded hue, and Rainbow Dash could see through herself. 'This is so far beyond weird that I can't even freak out.'

"Cloudsdale's Young Fliers Summer Camp, circa 988 CE. Due to renovations of the main training grounds the camp was moved to a temporary site near Canterlot and Ponyville. While there are a multitude of students this season, we're only concerned with three of them: Bar Bell, Fluttershy Poesy, and Rainbow Danger Dash."

It was like an out of pony experience, watching the three idiots pick on Fluttershy, 'how long has it been since anypony thought they could get away with doing that? Oh, right, a decade.' "How are you doing this?"

"It's magic, I don't have to explain it. Shh... the best part is coming up." Discord hunched over, crunching loudly from the bucket of popcorn he was holding.

The race, the worst mistake of her entire life. The pale pegasus signaled the start, Dash's new perspective allowing her to see that she and 'Dumbell' had indeed managed to whirl 'Shy around and cause her to fall. She wanted to throw up, she wanted to scream, she wanted to dive after the filly right now. She continued to watch.

The two racers curved around the first turn, the colt seeing that he was going to lose distance knocked her younger self off-course. 'This is when I pause, and the nail... ' Something was wrong, all of Rainbow's shoes remained firmly on her hooves. The filly gathered her strength and continued the race, a grin of focused competition plastered on her muzzle. Faster and faster she dived after the colt, reaching speeds that made her contrail visible as pegasus magic and aerodynamics fought for supremacy. The mare's eyes reduced to pinpricks, months of research, calculations, and experiments telling her what would happen next: something that was impossible.

"No way, there is NO WAY that a filly can generate the wingpower to... " Thoom. A disc of rainbow hued light exploded outward, washing over everything and leaving a trail of wonder behind it. "That never... I don't even... "

The victorious pegasus filly landed, proudly accepting the accolades of the other campers and taking the chance to show off her newly earned cutie mark, a white cloud emitting a tri-color lightning bolt - it looked fast even sitting still.

Discord leaned over the mare, who had collapsed, snaking his head down level with hers. "One thing. She let me change one thing, said it wouldn't make any difference. Can you guess what I picked?"

"How could you... do, do you mean Fluttershy was supposed to DIE!?"

"Oh, your fine feathered friend is completely unharmed. Better than unharmed, in fact. For the first time in a very long time she isn't afraid. Want a peek?" Discord reached a paw out an impossibly long distance to the ground and caused their viewpoint to warp to the middle of a forest clearing far below. The young yellow pegasus was ushering animals from hiding, smiling with a serenity Rainbow had rarely seen on her.

"How..."

"I think this calls for a little rewind, don't you?" the serpentine figure fiddled with knobs on a small black box. Everything became a blurred whirlwind in reverse, and when it stopped you Fluttershy hung frozen in the air, plunging earthward. When the pony didn't respond to his nonverbal cues, Discord picked Rainbow Dash up and carried her over to the point directly below the tragic trajectory of the plummeting pegasus. "Knowing you, I think you'll want a detailed view of this next part - you'd certainly never believe me if I simply described it."

Thoughts raced through her mind like a typhoon. She simultaneously felt like she was no longer in her body and that she was trapped in her own skull, unable to control her body. 'Time' started again, and she watched the younger incarnation of her friend fall... and be caught by a swarm of butterflies. There was nothing to snap, she was so far beyond anything she could understand that it really didn't make a difference anymore. Somehow this physical impossibility seemed 'right', seemed like what should have happened - 'but that would mean.'

"That's right. Your sacrifice, the injuries you suffered, the guilt and agony you felt, the mortifying embarrassment of flight training for 'special' ponies you guilted her into, and the storm incident that again nearly cost her her life. None of it was necessary, it had no meaning." Discord placed a conciliatory paw on her shoulder, which she didn't try to shrug away. "Heavy stuff, I know - but hey, it means that none of the sacrifices you've made since then to try and 'atone' were necessary either. Hay, you're so far ahead of the game you could stop expressing any altruistic behavior at all and still be karmically set for the rest of your life."

"What about the others? What happens to them, without the cloudboom?"

"Oh? Are you sure you want to know?"

"Please... I can't stand not knowing."

"Let me see here... the rainbow led a confused Applejack back to her family farm where she accepted a position of responsibility, becoming the cornerstone of the farm and a shining beacon of honesty and hard work. 'Dianne' was shocked out of her childhood depression by that same rainbow, can you believe it, and became a champion of laughter and joy, quite literally able to bring a smile to the face of every pony, donkey, and zebra she meets. Rarity discovered a huge cache of gemstones and realized her childhood dream of becoming a famous designer of clothing, her belief in dreams and beauty driving her to be as generous with her sister pony as she could, oh there was something about the rainbow in her story, too. Twilight Sparkle was distracted in the middle of an important examination and discovered the immense reservoir of magical potential she had, becoming Princess Celestia's special student and studying further and broader into the field of magic than any pony since Starswirl the Bearded. Your counterpart -"

"That's enough. Too much. I... is, is this real?"

"Are you going to trust me if I say it is?"

"There have to be some things, something that not even you would... " she swallowed. "Yes, whatever you say now, I'll believe - just tell me, is this really what would have happened if I hadn't known about Fluttershy's fall?"

"Yes." Victory wasn't as sweet as he'd expected. It tasted a whole lot like ash. In his plan she was supposed to decide that if her actions had no consequences then she could do anything she wanted - and become the ultimate Egotist. It would have been hilarious. This wasn't funny, it wasn't even mildly amusing.

* *** *

"C'mon, it was this way, Ah'm sure of it!" Jackie spurred her friends as they raced to reach where she'd seen Rainbow Dash leap into confrontation with the spirit of disharmony by herself. The fact that the fastest they could run was a swift walk was tearing at her last nerves. It was like running through molasses, it was like a bad dream.

Four ponies piled into the cleared area in time to see Discord reappear holding a slate gray pony. Ignoring the advancing mares, he whispered something to the pony before setting her down.

"Rainbow...?" Rarity choked out. The pony looked up at her, not out of curiosity or in recognition, but with a weary sense of obligation she expressed with her entire being. She didn't say anything.

Twilight glanced at Dash and away again. "C... clinical depression will affect one in six ponies at some point in their lives. Hhhh... hug therapy has only proven to be approximately 30% effective."

"Stupid Discord - how's she supposed to learn from this if she's comatose?" Dianne gestured at herself in a grandiose manner, " 'I don't turn ponies to stone', what the buck ever. What you've left of her doesn't look much more useful than a paperweight."

'I can fix this. Once I'm the undisputed power of this world I can fix all of this - it's the victors who write history. Discord pulled the library rules sign from thin air running a claw through the 'No Running' rule and producing an ear-splitting claw-on-metal screech. Any pony who hadn't been looking at him certainly was now. "Hey, fruit pony, wanna race?"

For Want of a War, Zeta

Chapter 6,
For want of a War
Zeta

Words spoken, their eyes met - the challenge made and accepted.

Jackie took off her hat, a cream stetson with a simple leather band, placing it on Twilight's head, her eyes never leaving the draconequus. "Y'mind lookin' after that fer me, Twi? Wouldn't want t'get it dirty now."

"Despite the name, the 'ten gallon hat' will not, in fact, hold more than three quarts of wa-" She was speaking to nopony. "...ter." The orange pony's hoofbeats already fading into the distance.

A dark gray pegasus contemplated the pony before him: head, literally, in the clouds. "Hey mac, that's not a good place to sleep." No reply, a tentative hoof tapped the unconscious pony, "You ok?"

"Mnuh, … blueberry and celery muffins? No... of course I'll try one... m'jus not tha hungry... " The stallion's eyes popped open, 'can't see - am I blind? No, my head's stuck in a cloud.' He shrieked, scrambling backward. 'I can't stand on clouds, last I checked... oh, oh dear.' Then he began frantically patting himself all over.

'Feet? Four, still hooves, still brown. Cutie Mark still firmly in place, hello little hourglass.' The Doctor took a deep breath, grasping a strand of his mane for examination. It was brown. 'Blast.' Patting his head, 'No protrusions - certainly no horn.' Turning his head around he examined his back... to find two wings behaving as though they had every right to be there. "Hullo, you're new. Extra limbs, fascinating. I wonder if I need to learn how to fly or if it's instinctual?" Memories of a gray pegasus convinced him he'd need lessons. 'Hold on, lessons, Derpy, wings... what is... tip of my brain-'

The other pegasus watched brown stallion examining his own wings as though seeing them for the first time. It was a shame, really, seeing a pony on the downward slope. Salt, Alcohol, Nettles, didn't really matter what the guy was doing, last night had messed him up. Poor kid probably didn't even remember his own name. "Hey mane, I'm Thunder Dash, what's your name?"

"What?" 'Wait, that name...'

"What is your name?" Thunder began calculating the route to the nearest hospital.

"What?" 'There's coincidence - which never is - and then there's just bloody ridiculous. '

"What … is … your naaay-muh." What was he going to do if this pony didn't want treatment?

'I don't dare say "who?", laugh and I'm fit to never stop.' Maybe 'Nope, can't use "the Doctor", not sure when I am - might cause more complications.' "You can call me... Time … Turner." Something nagged at the back of his mind, 'oh well, time for panic later.' "Pardon, it is vitally important that you tell me: what day it is?"

"Huh? It's thursday."

"The Date."

"May … 16th." Was the dude bipolar or something?

This was like pulling teeth. "WHAT YEAR?" 'Come to think of it, do ponies have dentists? No, focus Doctor.'

"Mane, it's 987. What did you take to mess you up so bad?"

"Croquet mallet to the temporal lobe, most likely." 'Seems to be residual psychic echo, implyings a powerful source of temporal energy. What did hit me?' He rubbed his abused noggin absently.

Thunder sighed to himself, "Whatever you say, Time Turner. Nice to meetcha', in any case." Now to assess just how messed up this stallion was, "You know where you are?"

"Haven't the foggiest." It struck him as funny, so he laughed.

"Great... look, come with me, I'll getcha' a cup of coffee and see 'bout getting your hooves on the clouds."

"Fantastic. So where are we?"

"Cloudsdale."

"Cloudsdale? As in 'Cloudsdale' Cloudsdale?" the other pegasus nodded slowly.

'Steady on, 987 CE, almost a year before Derpy attends flight class... which ended with... and the last I remember is ... Well then.' No TARDIS, no backup, only the contents of his saddlebags. Well, that and fourteen years worth of time. 'Do I actually have time to plan for once? Fantastic, now if I only had a clue what to plan for.' This was going to require a great deal of thinking. He glanced up, "Ah, Mr -"

"Hay mane, Mister Dash was my father, you dig? Just call me Thunder."

"Call you Thunder? Ha, I like that. Well then, Thunder, thank you for your help. I can take it from here."

"Ohhh no you don't. Sunny'd never let me hear the end of it if I didn't see you straight." Thunder began heading off.

The brown pegasus trotted after, "I'm sorry, I don't follow?"

"Just come with me, Time, my place isn't too far from here. You from Hoofington?"

'Now why would he... oh, right, the accent.' "Ah, a bit further out than that." As he began trotting, the Doctor was able to feel the minor physical differences between his new form and his last. 'Where does that leave me? I've never regenerated into a form so similar to my last one before.. except that one time, and that took... preparations.' He had time, and at the same time he had no time at all, 'typical'.

"Jackie wai..." Rarity inhaled... held, and released her breath.'Good news: I found one of them BEFORE Discord got his claws in her. Bad News: he just tricked her into chasing him. Consolation: now I know for sure that his execrable rules are reversible.' Somepony was talking-

"...and clueless?" That was Diane. Rarity couldn't see her - Twilight was looking at something above-

The white pony leapt to her immediate left. Struggling to her hooves, she heard water splashing loudly. Glancing up, she saw the grayed pink pony precariously perched upon a ladder where Rarity had just been standing, empty bucket in her hoof, dripping a last few drops of water.

They looked at each other for a few moments, "... right. So just clueless. What next, oh furless leader?"

The completely grayed out pony spoke, "It doesn't matter. Everything we do is pointless - we're just pawns."

"Well I hardly feel that is a correct assessment, darling. Personally I think of myself as a queen."

Diane snickered.

"The queen's still a piece on the board, and can be sacrificed if the game calls for it." the gray pony mumbled.

"There are approximately one thousand, three hundred and twenty six variants of Coltsparov's gambit that involve sacrifice of the queen to achieve victory. Only two of them involve a ball of string." Nopony asked the question that begged.

"Dash, what... what did he do to you?"

"The worst thing he possibly could - he showed me the truth."

"The so called electronic 'lie detector' is considered to have a reliability rating of less than sixty percent, and is no longer permissible evidence in court of law." rattled off the faded plum pony.

Rarity wheeled to address the assembled mass of pony. "All of you, listen to me: we are not tools, we are our own ponies." She turned back to "Rainbow Dash?" Who was trying to nest in a pile of books.

"Please, just leave me alone." She curled up tighter.

"I neither have the inclination to indulge you, nor the option, considering that we are still in somewhat of a hurry."

"I can't help you, nothing I do matters."

"...I.do.not.have.time.for.this." Rarity resisted the urge to slap hoof to face. Then she had an idea, likely an evil one 'it must be, it seems too much like fun'. "Dianne, I need you to carry Rainbow."

"Why should I?" questioned the requested.

"Because she doesn't want you to, and you know that her moaning and complaining will irritate me further."

The pink pony glared at the white one for another long moment before she walked very deliberately over and picked up the grayed-out former pegasus. "This is going to cost you."

"That is one of the few things in this life I do not doubt. In any case, we are going now."

They ran and ran. Past the reference section, 'Super Naturals, Elements of Harmony: reference guide, 101 Card Games for Fun and Profit'. Jackie leapt a pile of displaced dictionaries deposited by Discord, 'Mareiam Hoofster, the Ox-Pony Equestrian Dictionary, and … Jumbled Text's guide to Crosswords?'. A lasso around a horse statue helped the orange pony turn a sharp corner as they passed through the Foal's Fiction section, 'Reminds me I want to pick up a copy of 'The Wizard of OCs' for 'Bloom... I wonder if they still have "The Little Train Engineer that Could"?' Gaining a little ground, she made a dive for her target's serpentine tail - missing both her mark and the flock of Ornithology books that flew by at her former head height.

"How in th' hay does that not count as magic?"

"Do you mean to tell me that you don't know the difference between magic and chaos? What are they teaching you in school these days." Discord sucked at his teeth in disapproval.

"It's all invisible forces that ain't obvious to outsiders. Common usage says that's magic."

"You wouldn't feel that way about the differences between electromagnetism and nuclear fission, believe me."

"Who and What now?"

"Wrong century - never you mind." he raised his paw and brushed a spot of lint from his chest, "the point is that I'm winning."

The orange pony's brow furrowed. 'Don't ask - do not ask, DON't -' "How do you figure that?" 'Dangit'

Discord turned his head momentarily, the better to hide his grin until he could control it. Turning back, he snaked his head down next to Jackie's, grinning an alligator's conspiratorial smile, and whispered, "because I'm catching up to you..."

The earth pony scrabbled backward, unable to name the feeling of revulsion but also unable to escape it. "W-what th' hay's wrong with you? That's downright creepy!"

The draconequus stretched his neck back into the air, dropping all pretense of humor or superiority. His aspect no longer showed any of the sneering confidence or the jovial condescension that had been his hallmark, in fact he looked similar to when he delivered a broken Raibow D-

"No, nonononono... you don't win that easy." It was back, the feeling that every step she took doubled the weight she carried, that the earth was going to swallow her whole. She was struck by how many memories the library housed of her, walking Applebloom and her friends to the storyhour, taking Granny to see Rarity for an interview about the family's historical ties to Ponyville, the... the times when she was just a filly her Pa had taken her to hear stories or see a puppet show... she was wrapped in chains of memories, unable to breathe for everypony's expectations of her, crushed by rules and roles and routes.

The spirit of disharmony watched the orange pony run, shaking his head. "Every which way but loose, my little pony."

"You want me to do what now, Spikey?"

"C'mon, it's simple really. Discord, the demon of disharmony, is in the Library. Rarity is fighting him, trying to get back those necklace thingies." His grandmother (a term he had been instructed to never ever ever address her by) nodded, but her skeptical frown remained.

"Sure enough, and I know my little girl will beat that horrid... elasmosoarus-"

"Draconequus, mom," Sweetie corrected her mother. Spike shot his aunt a look of gratitude.

"I think what she's tryin' ta ask is: what's any'a this got to do with Clarity's cooking?"

Spike resisted the urge to put his paw to his face - Rarity's last run-in with Trixie had left her very sour on melodrama. "Because, she's been running around now for like a day and a half. I don't know if she'll be able to defeat Discord for good in one go or not. If she doesn't, she's going to be really tired." Everypony nodded, "Soo... the best thing any of us can do for her is to have coffee ready and waiting for her - whenever she gets out of the library."

Sweetie looked up, eyes bright, "Oh, well maybe I could-"

"NO!" the baby dragon slapped his hands over his mouth, but the word was already out, "I mean... I need you to help me, uh... make a checklist." He smiled... well, he bared his teeth in a generally friendly manner.

The filly turned her head to focus an eye directly on him, "Since when do you make lists?"

"Since... uh, since I helped Twilight Sparkle survey everypony's special talent. That was while you and the crusaders and Rarity met those stupid dogs."

"They're not stupid … well, they're not very stupid. Mostly they're funny, and I don't think they can look after themselves very well." This wasn't the important part... "And that one experience was enough to convince you that lists are helpful?"

Spike scratched the back of his head, "I dunno, it just felt right. I know Rarity keeps track of everything in her head - but I can't do that yet, I don't know if I'll ever be that good at memorizing stuff. But going around, writing stuff down, it just felt natural." he shrugged.

"Are you sure you didn't just want to spend time with Twilight?"

"Huh? She's ok, I guess, if you like plants and dirt and junk. I'm more at home around books, really. But I could see living in a small cottage near the Everfree, studying books about herbology and..." Spike's attention drifted.

Sweetie grinned, "... taking care of small woodland creatures alongside a certain pink pony?"

Aand Spike was back in the here and now, "Wha- I didn't, say... that exactly." Of all the things pony science didn't know about dragons, why they could have a visible blush through scales capable of withstanding lavabaths was one that irked him at that moment.

His aunt patted him on the head good naturedly, "Don't worry, I think it's cute you have a crush. I'll go get Applebloom, you grab the coffee and meet us at Flashworks. No... big scaly monster messes with my sister and gets away with it." They paused long enough for a claw/hoof and headed off with determination in their eyes.

She ran and ran. Passing through the Children's Fiction area again, she remembered when Scootaloo had 'volunteered' Rainbow Dash to read at the library's monthly storytime. Rainbow had railed against the book to be read, Daring Do and the Octarine Staff. But... it was for foals, so she gave in eventually. Read it, did voices for all the characters, the whole works, and ended up loving every minute of it. 'A pegasus who can't fly half the time, has to make do with her wits and whatever tools she can cobble together - hay, why wouldn't Dash identify with her?' That was when she started to get interested in performances, now she had plans to-

A ladder clattered across her path, which the orange pony easily cleared. "That, *huff*, the best you got, Discord?"

"Just a little wake-up call, you were drifting. I'm a little hurt that something can distract you from the glory of moi." he wore a loud floral print shirt and was carrying an ugly yellow suitcase with bright green floral print. "So, off for adventure are we - where to this time? Perhaps South to the swamps of Chile-Colt'e to find a lost temple devoted to the Underworld, or North to Stalliongrad and the icefields where the proud Crystal Empire once stood." His audience failed to rise to the bait. "Eh, I guess you could just head west."

"Y'all still talkin' back there?"

"Please excuse me if I am mistaken, my dear, but I believe that Yuh-Awl is an abbreviation of yew auwl, which would only apply when referring to a group."

She stopped to glare at him. Almost. "You tellin' me how to talk now? That's a laugh, which would be a first."

The serpentine figure wheeled his arms as he came to a sudden stop, "Come again?"

"Ah said, you ain't funny. Ya think ya're, but you just ain't."

"You wound me, Element of Humor." his tone did not match his words.

"C'mon, when's the last time somep- someone else laughed at one'a your jokes?"

"I'll have you know I once had the August Pony of Jade in stitches."

"Literally or figuratively?"

Discord crossed his arms, "I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"You are proving my point. I'm not going to give you a big speech about how you could 'stop all of this right now and we could work out a peaceful solution' like the the other girls probably have. There's no point, if you wanted that, you'd do it. But you've got too much pride to admit you're lonely."

"Oh, and you speak from a position of authority?"

"...yeah, I reckon I do. Much as it galls me to admit it, I think I might understand you because in a lot of ways I'm like you."

"Jaqueline, are you offering me your friendship?"

"Ah would sooner lick one'a them multicolor tree climbing frogs."

"Well that ended quickly."

"I'm not done and you weren't being serious." she paused.

"Why so-"

"-whatever you're about to say, nopony in this world would understand, so you just hush a minute."

Jackie pursed her lips, exhaled, took a deep breath, and realized she was stalling, "I... well I am not the pony most familiar with the truth. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I lie - more like I'll imply stuff, stretch the truth, and sometimes only mention part of what is true, so that it sounds like something different."

Discord threw his hands over his ears, his mouth a wide O. The effect was spoiled when he waggled his eyebrows. "Land sakes, I do declare you mus' be the most dishonorable filly in five feet." He dropped his act, returning Jackie's scowl. "This personal confession stuff is boring. Go big or go home... if you can figure out where that is."

The pony looked the draconequus over, lip curled down and eyebrows furrowed, "So... you'd just let me go? I don't see the angle."

"I haven't been keeping you here. If you want to leave, go - I've already defeated half of your crew, you have nothing left to threaten me with." His muzzle slowly curled into a smile. "But, I do have one question for you before you toddle off into the sunset." Despite his statement he remained silent. 'Bait the line, toss it and... '

Jackie struggled with herself, but it had to be asked, "What?"

'...hook, line, and sinker.' "Isn't it time to stop running?"

Jackie looked at him, looked at the shelves around them, pointedly looked at the lack of motion of hooves. "What the hay are you jawing about?"

"It's so tiring, isn't it?"

"What?" the pony found she was gritting her teeth.

"Lying." Jackie opened her mouth to reply, Discord cut her off with a chopping gesture, "To yourself. You claim to be like me, but I know all about myself-" He leaned perilously close to the orange mare,"-I made my decision about personal freedom and obligation. You, well you want to have your cake, eat it too, and claim you were never in the kitchen."

"I don't follow."

"No, you really don't do you? Let me make this simple: you want to be too many ponies. The faithful daughter/sister who looks after family, the hardworking orchard grower, the traveling trickster, the devoted friend, defender of the realm, simply country bumpkin, smartest mare in the room, peacemaker, negotiator, instigator, therapist, cardsharp, lone ranger, teammate..." Discord waved his paw and it returned to the proper number of digits, "huh, and Diane thought she had a headful of ponies."

"Let me get this straight, the embodiment of chaos is telling me I'm too random?" snerked the pony.

"Oh, no, you're hardly random at all. Everything you do follows one pattern: it requires no investment on your part and has an obvious escape route. All that running, always ready to bail."

"I run towards things too." 'Hold on, you're falling into his argument - don't try to defend, that's giving his claims validity.'

"That just proves my point, what you're running from," Discord folded his paws together, "My dear, the only thing you have ever been afraid of is yourself."

The orange mare barked with laughter, "that th' best you've got - really? Shoot, I've known that for years, even accepted it this last year when I … when I fought with Twi'." she shrugged. "So what?"

The draconequus folded his arms, dropping his smile, "So when are you going to tell Applebloom the real reason you left all those years ago?"

Jackie's blood felt as though it had turned to ice water. "What? I mean-"

Discord held up a paw to ward off excuses. "Don't bother. I've been watching you - don't feel special, I have been watching every pony... not much else to do when you spend a millenium as a chunk of stone."

"You - you were conscious that whole time?"

"Eeeyup." Discord took a step back, placing a paw on his chest, "What, now you care? Don't feel too bad, all of us 'miscreants' got the same treatment - even Celestia's 'precious' little sister got a thousand year cooling off period wandering the moon."

"She had no choice, none of ya'll gave her any other choice! Each an' every one of y'all, only thinkin' of yerselves, not how much any of your actions might be hurtin' folk who hadn't done anything to deser... "

"Yes? Go on, tell me how horrible and terribly irresponsible I am. You sound like you're speaking from a position of experience there. See something familiar, eh?"

"Ah'm nothing like you." Tears threatened to make an appearance.

"You were pretty quick to claim the mantle a moment ago."

"See, this... this is how you do it - isn't it? Ohh I'm sure everypony has things they're ashamed of, things that can crack how they like to think of themselves." 'Stop it, stop this right now.' the words spilled from her in a torrent.

"Because we've all got to tell ourselves we're good ponies in the end right? Everyp- everyone has to be able to sleep at the end of their day, has to look themselves in the mirror when they wake, has to keep going through the motions every... single... day... even when they know nothin' will e'r get better, that sayin', 'Ah kin change when'e'er I want' is the same's saying 'I just won't ever bother'." 'If there was ever a time in my life to just shut my mouth-'

"We just... we're just too afraid of losing what lil' we've got left, because... because if we're so terrible that we need to change, then what right do we have to hope fer something better?"

"Oh good grief, are you going to be as self-pitying as Rainbow Dash?"

"Got... got to work through this. The... game you play, only presenting part of a puzzle and countin' on us to fill in the pieces with our own fears. Got a taste of that before... didn't much fancy it." 'Breathe, inhale... exhale...'

"So what you're saying is that I'm not providing enough of a challenge? Really? Maybe you're just more self destructive than Pi- than Diane." His grin deepened to a sneer as Jackie's face fell, "Challenge accepted: your sister."

Jackie did her best not to roll her eyes, "My sister what?"

"I already asked you, have you told her why you left?"

"Of course I ain't told her why I left - I was a child. I sure wasn't thinking straight, but that's my failure, she won't ever hear that from me. Lucky thing I'm not the Element of Honesty - why are you laughing?"

"You -" snerk,"- you wouldn't get it." The chaos spirit stood doubled over, diaphragm spasming in chuckles, "Ok, ok... are you sure you won't budge on that one? It gets a lot worse from here on in. Don't say I never warned you."

"Right now I'd buck your fool head in if I wasn't pretty sure you could wave your hoof and restore it."

"Oh fruitpony, don't you know it's what's on the inside that counts?" Discord chuckled, passing his eagle claw through one ear and out the other side of his head. "And deep inside, I know that it's not what you think of yourself that terrifies you. It isn't any sense of personal guilt that haunts your sleep, and you shoulder your own doubts about as well as can be expected of a pastel miniature horse. No, an extrovert like you has sublimated all of her personal anxieties."

There was an audible pop as he extracted his arm. "When I said you were afraid of yourself, I meant that you are afraid of what others must think of you. What's the old saying? Familiarity breeds contempt?" He wrapped an arm around the rigidly standing pony, putting his head next to hers in a conspiratorial pose, "You KNOW, deep down, that none of them take you seriously. You tell yourself you don't want to be a burden... but what you really mean is that you don't want to find out - don't want to hear that they're tired of you. Disappointed, hurt, or just never cared in the first place. The element of laughter? Please, you were the closest warm body... and you know that they all know it - the one thing that they need you for is to wear a piece of jewelry."

A tremor ran through the pony, "Oh, you want to mention Twilight's incredibly generous gift to you. But what does that gift do? It gets you out of her mane more often. You show up for some occasional cheap labor and to keep her adopted family from worrying that you're dead - because it must have been so embarrassing for them to not know where you were for years and years... the founding family of the Apple clan, whose heir threw the family traditions to the wind. The last nail in the coffin will be the day you die, alone, in an unmapped ditch somewhere in the back of beyond. Nopony will know, and they won't even think to look for you until long after the fact - because 'well, that's just Jackie'."

Discord turned the fading pony to face him, "Where are your words now? You can't speak for anypony else. Oh, you can get inside their heads, guess what they'll do - even outsmart them sometimes. But in the end you can't touch their hearts, and in your own you know that must be because they're all just waiting for you to go away again." a tear rolled down a pale tan cheek. "There, now you can say that you're like me. Well, not nearly as handsome, but that's no reason to have such a long face."

The serpentine spirit considered the pallid pony for a moment before looming forward, "Whenever life's ladder takes you down a rung, remember that anything too stupid to be said is sung." Discord was already walking away as Jackie's eyes began to swirl in a muddy mixture of colors. "See you next time, cowpony."

They rounded the corner, and there she was. Orange looks quite brown when grayed, and ash blonde manes weren't unheard of. Rarity held out the tiniest bit of hope that this was simply a hapless patron who had been trapped inside when the hullabaloo started. But she had to know for sure. "Jackie, is that you?"

"I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me." Rising to her hooves, the pony in question retrieved her hat from the purplish former unicorn's head.

"There are over 348 varietals of apples raised in the nation of Equestria alone - not including pear/apple hybrids."

Rainbow lifted her head slightly, "Oh, hi Jackie. You look different, change your mane?"

Diane looked at the mare and laughed so hard she fell over, dropping her pony burden in the process, rocked by further laughter.

Rarity looked at her friends, at what had happened to them. 'I'm not winning this. Not the way I'm going. There must be a better way to handle this... I've got to stop, I've raced around and lost four friends in the process.'

"Girls, I am so sorry I wasn't able to help you. I'm not sure I can do this without you. Please - if there's anything left of you - please please help me figure out how we can get to Fluttershy before Discord does."

"The common method of deep frying hay, known as 'Prench Fries' in fact did not originate in Prance, where they are known as 'chips'."

"Everybody's talking at me, I don't hear a word they're saying, only the echoes of my mind..."

"Nothing matters, it won't work."

"One question, do you want to save your friends, or have a shot at defeating Discord?"

"That is a ridiculous question, Diane, I intend to have both."

"While the phrase 'there is no i in team' is technically correct, it is a logical fallacy, because there are an 'm' and an 'e' in the word."

"But if you could only do one?" pressed the slightly pink pony.

"What are you trying to tell me?" Rarity strove to keep an even tone, though she was forgetting why to bother.

"I know where the Elements of Harmony are. When Dip-scored is done with Captain Heroic he's going to throw the Elements into a maelstrom that will scatter them... either across the world, or through time - maybe through time and then across the world." She tapped her chin, considering the matter. "In any case, by that point it will be pretty much impossible to get them back. Right now we have time to get there and stop him, maybe."

"A...are you asking me to chose between - between everypony and Fluttershy? Are you seriously suggesting I abandon the Element of Loyalty?" It would have been funny if it wasn't completely unfunny.

"You prance around like you can make the big decisions, well here's your chance, Assistant Professor." The dull pink pony sneered, 'now you'll see just how pointless it all is. You'll learn that there are circumstances that cannot be won.'

Rarity hung her head. Otherwise her grin would have been obvious. She raised her head high, "What did I just tell you?"

"What? When?" Diane took a step back, this was not an expected response.

"I said that I will have both. As I live and breathe, I will not chose, and I don't have to. Even broken you are all the best team I could ever wish for. Thank you, Diane."

"I-what? I'm not helping you, I'm being horrible."

"Then you're doing a terrible job. Keep it up." Rarity turned to Jackie,

"I got to ramble, I got to move on, I got to walk away my blues." Jackie pointed at the door.

"Excellent. I'll write up a letter for you to take around - wait, Spike can make copies, so find him first. If this world belongs to all of us, I think it's time the rest of them started pulling their weight." 'This can work, there is still a chance.' "Diane, you're with me. Twilight... you come too."

"The number three is the first non-even prime number, and the minimum number of points required to define a plane."

Dash rolled an eye toward the erstwhile unicorn, "aren't you forgetting one? It's prime."

"The number one is in fact classified as it's own category of number, second only to zero in uniqueness."

"Girls, this is all fascinating, but it can wait until later. Rainbow, you're going with Jackie, and you are going to walk."

"It won't make a difference."

"Good, then you might as well do it as not. Stand Up." Rarity's tone bypassed the rational part of Dash's brain, triggering some latent sense of self-preservation, and she found herself bolt upright. The white pony allowed herself a small smile - it wasn't quite the Royal canterlot voice of legend, but she had figured out a method of advanced telekinesis to quadruple the force of her voice. In fact, all four of the ponies around her were standing at attention. 'Careful, do not get used to that. We are not trying to replace one tyranny with another, no matter how nice it would be to have ponies really listen for once.'

The cowpony leaned over toward Diane, "Do you see what I see?"

"Yeah yeah, but I'm not going to point it out - she'll have to work that one out on her own, no more freebies." The other earth pony grumbled.

Author's Note

And we're back! This took longer than I originally planned, but life is like that :twilightblush:

A big :yay: Thank You to Zephyrus Scary and Daerthrahl for their help making this chapter worth reading.

For want of a War, η (Eta)

For want of a War

Eta

Life is made of things that look complicated and scary and impossible. Most aren't hard to deal with if broken into smaller pieces. Fluttershy woke up and she knew three things, My wings are gone, I'm stuck in a very cramped place filled with twigs, feathers, and small things that feel sort of like twigs but different, and there is an owl sitting on my head. Putting those facts together one way told her that she was somehow stuffed into Owloysius's nest. Another arrangement led her to the conclusion that yes, Rainbow Dash had, in fact, egged on a powerful creature who was a living manifestation of chaos. Lastly, 'the things that aren't twigs? Probably mouse bones.'

'So, problem number one, how do I get out of this nest?' In front of her was solid wood, and to both sides of her it felt like more of the same. 'OK, the exit is probably behind me. New problem, pretty sure the exit hole is in the ceiling of the library.' Well, there were two solutions to that problem: Either it's in a place I can climb down from, or it isn't. There was no way of knowing which it would be until she was too committed to turn back.

She considered that for a moment. Discord had gone through a great deal of trouble to separate everypony – but he hadn't just killed them outright. 'Sure, but what does that mean? Wait, scratch that, it doesn't matter; he probably didn't put any of us in a position it was impossible to survive in.' There would be time later to figure out the rest – if she survived.

Since there seemed to be nothing else she could accomplish by sitting still and thinking about it she inhaled, braced her forehooves on the hard surface before her, exhaled, and pushed. There was a queasy moment with her stomach halfway across the lip of the alcove but before she could reach around to feel for the wall. A moment later her hooves struck solid wood underneath the ledge; even better, it felt knurled and irregular enough to accept hoof-grip with minimal difficulty.

The owl contemplated her, head tilting to one side and then the other. He looked strange somehow , a moment's examination revealed his wings were gone as well. 'Absolutely no flying, huh?' "Owloysius, I am going to try to climb down to the landing. I think I'll make it, but I can't promise I will. Would you like to come with me or stay here?"

"Whoo" In violation of the rules of comedy, Fluttershy did not assume the owl was asking a question.
The grounded pegasus nosed open her right saddlebag and tried to make a large enough space for the nocturnal raptor. When the bird had nestled itself in as well as it could, she gently placed the flap back down.

For a quadruped, climbing down a vertical surface while carrying a bag full of gear and an adult owl – especially when your first recourse would be flying – could seem like an impossible task. The individual pieces are much less daunting. First you move one leg, try to find a new grip – if you don't find one easily then return that hoof to its last grip and try with another leg, it may be easier once you've shifted your center mass a little. Like most forms of balance, it boils down to a question of tension: not enough and you'll lose your grip, too much and you may slide right off the wall, but get the balance just right and your weight is distributed evenly enough that any problems with one grip will be cancelled by the others. Go ahead, be scared, be terrified, but don't listen to your fear, don't let it control you – understand that while the voice of doubt wants you safe from harm, it doesn't really know what it's talking about. Take it slowly, the wall isn't going anywhere, rush and you may go away from the wall – take it one bit at a time and reach the bottom in one piece.

Rarity watched the pair head for the door, hope and doubt mingling into indigestion deep within her. She resisted the urge to give them step-by-step instructions, because if she didn't trust them to do their best she might as well give up now. 'But what if – No! I trusted them before, and I shall continue to trust them now.' She shook her head, turning to her half of the mission instead: Finding Fluttershy. She thought aloud on the off chance that Diane's sarcasm would provide useful insight, and on the more likely chance that it would irritate her enough to distract from worrying about Jackie and Rainbow.

"We have covered every square hoof of the ground floor and not seen hide nor mane of Fluttershy. Which means that Discord must have deposited her somewhere else–"

"Like stuffing her into hoot-head's nest, 'cause she's part bird?"
The white pony suppressed a laugh, 'that is not funny – wait, it is, why is she making a ...' Rarity's head craned up and toward the outer wall where... there was a yellow pony making painfully slow progress down from Owloysius's nest.

"The coefficient of friction is-" Rarity gently set a hoof on Twilight's nose,
"Not just now, dear, I need to think."
"Huh, we finally agree on something," the earth pony groused.

'We can't do anything that would distract her without risking a fall. Discord could discover her at any... wait, he put her there in the first place, so why hasn't he – *rrgh*, focus, Rarity! The biggest risk is injury from a fall, so... remove the risk of injury... but how?' The futon was tempting, but not nearly padded or flexible enough. Pillows would take too long to gather– "Well, come on, we can move and figure out what to do."

"Thanks again for letting me stay here while... well thanks, Mrs. Smith." Scootaloo looked out the window, a great many things running through her mind. Applebloom stood right next to her, probably running through a lot of the same worries.

"Think nothin of it, child, ain't no Apple gonna turn away a filly in need. An call me 'Granny', everypony else in town does."

The yellow filly regarded her grandmare, "Granny, has the likes of this ever happened in Ponyville before?"
The aged pony chuckled, "Shucks, just how old d'ya think I am? Ol' two-horn's been a statue and a scary story since before the royal sisters had that unfortunate argument."

Bloom persisted, "But, with all'a the trees goin wonky, are we gonna lose the farm?"
Smith Apple sighed, creakily reaching down to nuzzle her youngest granddaughter, "Ain't no nevermind to be paid about finances right now. You stick with kin and good friends and the rest'll just have to sort itself out."

Scootaloo was startled when 'bloom's brother spoke up, "Look", pronounced the huge red pony, pointing. Everypony turned to see a white unicorn filly with pink and purple hair running down the road to the Apple Family Farm.

"Sweetie Bell?" cried the two fillies, running for the door to go meet their friend.
Macintosh rose to follow them, only to be stopped by a worn green hoof, "Let 'em do what they need 'ta." cackled the Apple Family Matron. When the stallion remained where he was, she gently swatted him on the shoulder, "Ah didn't say 'don't go after them', just to let them try an' help if they can." The red pony gave his grandmother a gentle hug before heading out. The eldest Apple shook her head, 'maybe you had the right idea, Roz, but it's just so hard to let go.'

"Watcha' doing?" Discord's head was right next to her, rotated ninety degrees and grinning like a crocodile. She had made it ten strides in twenty minutes – without context that sounded pathetic, but Fluttershy felt she had earned every bit of that distance. She was so focused that the sudden interruption had caused no disruption.

Pausing for a moment, she contemplated the odd creature. The rest of Discord stood out from the wall as though it were 'down' for him. "I am trying, very carefully, to climb down a nearly vertical surface without falling and injuring myself. Can you do anything to help me achieve that goal?"

The draconequus considered this for a moment, "Well, I could..."
'Ah, that was my mistake,' "Will you?"
"Ehh, no"
"Why not? I'm not going to do anything to amuse you until I'm on solid ground."

Discord watched in fascination as his paws twitched as if he was actually going to help. He put them back down and smiled slowly, "I make my own fun." he reached behind himself, making noises like someone rummaging through a pile of pots and pans, "Hold on... you dropped something a while back..." the amalgamated creature let out a yelp, an angry yellow pegasus was now biting onto his muzzle, kicking and flailing for all she was worth.

Despite herself Fluttershy started. 'NO! Celestia said not to believe in his tricks. That can't possibly be-'
The doppelganger stopped biting long enough to snarl at the wallbound pony, "RUN, you idiot!"
"W-what?"
The second yellow pony glared, "This is a trick, I'm not real, get out of here before he gets his claws into you-"
The urge to laugh inappropriately was powerful, "That makes no sense, if you're not real, then why would you care-"
"Rrrgh! Because the bearded wonder over here made me to be a perfect replica of your superego, now BUCK OFF!"

"Good grief, even a two bit copy of you is unbearable." Discord grumbled, finally getting the upper paw on his insubordinate imitation. With an audible pop her wings disappeared, and the spirit of disharmony tossed away the useless prop–

"NO!" Fluttershy had jumped before she even realize she was considering it. She took a last moment to tighten down her saddlebag straps and secure the flap she had left loose for Owloysius's comfort. Then she tucked her legs firmly behind herself and tried to will herself to fall faster that her flailing faux twin.

"No!" the white pony cried when she saw a yellow pony falling, then she saw the same yellow pony dive after herself. 'Wait wha... huh?'

Twilight seemed unphased, "Weather Team Regulations, Ordinance 13 v02: all active crew are required to wear protective gear in case of mid-flight wing disability. Addendum, updated 999CE: the FW model #003 and 003 'Lite' series are considered adequate cautionary gear, per Team Captain's approval."

"News flash, Sparkles, nopony cares about minutia and regulations!" Diane grunted, torn about whether to act or ... The wingless pony... sprouted wings? "What in the..."

"No time for gawking, girls, we need to MOVE, as it were."

The demon of disharmony laughed so hard he forgot to defy gravity. As he plummeted, inspiration struck; and so did he, pushing off the wall he caught Fluttershy and plus one, using his free claw to cut away the set of canvas wings holding her aloft in one fluid motion.

Tucking and rolling, the trio eventually came to a rest – a dislodged volume of the DPSM landed on Discord's head. 'Everybody's a critic.' The serpentine figure realized he might have miscalculated when he found himself being double teamed by Ponyville's top team player. Jumping back he waved a digit back and forth, muttering "eenie meenie..." under his breath. During a lull in the assault he darted a paw out, tapping one of the flightless pegasi. She vanished in a puff, something dropping to the ground as-

"Ei-yah!" There was a meaty thock as an earth pony's airborne reverse turning buck connected with the spirit of disharmony's skull, sending his upper half careening. The lower half eventually acknowledging inertia and followed suit. Diane picked herself back up, snarling, "These geeks and losers are mine to pick on, go find your own victims!"

A set of jingling bells circled Discord's head as he pulled himself vertical again. After carefully stuffing them back into nonexistent pockets, he scowled at the four ponies. "My my, so quick to resort to violence, are we? Very well, I certainly know when I'm not wanted–"
"You mean, like, all the time?"
"–and so I will take my leave." The draconequus continued, seemingly unaware of any interruption. He grinned, smugly, "Besides, you've already lost." The front door opened and shut, as if to emphasize his statement.

Rarity frowned, "We never agreed–"
"Tut tut, my dear, participation implies consent – after all, you know better than most that ignorance isn't immunity." With a flourish he produced a battered sign. "But I do have some lovely parting gifts for you: two slightly used horns and a set of refurbished wings." The sign collapsed into a pile of sawdust that blew away in a wind nopony felt. *Pop*, *pop*, *pop-pop* horns and wings reappeared as though they had never been gone.

Discord let out a loud groan, stretching out to his full height, paws pressed to the small of his back. "Ough, it feels so good to be able to str–et–ch after millennia in stone. Tell you what, I need a little break, so I'll give you... oh, two more hours to find the elements before I send them into the void and make everypony's life just a little more interesting... FOREVER." He leered, glancing at Diane for some reason. "...eh? Ehh? … nothing?" He scowled, "Alright, I'm out of here." And in a flash of light and a cloud of confetti, the Draconequus was gone.

"And'a Ah would walk five hundred miles, and Ah would walk five hundred more, just ta be the mare who walked a thousand miles to show up at yer door..." Sang a desaturated earth pony.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, "The Declaimers, seriously?"
"I know, it's only Rock an' Roll, but I like it."

"Sure, whatever." Dash looked away, only to stare in wonder as a seven foot tall carrot... thing, ran by, misshapen limbs cradling its head-like end as it tried to escape a wrathful orange over buttercream earth pony and a … uniquely muscular white pegasus. "What the..."

"You ingrate, I'm going to teach you to respect the natural order!" Carrot Top shouted, wielding a broom.
"YEAh!" Snowflake seemed to at least add enthusiasm. Rainbow smiled, 'Yeah, two hundred pounds of excited pony chasing me down would make me want to run the other way too...'

"Now left. No, LEFT! Wait, what? Oh, sorry uh le- I mean RIGHT!" A voice carried from a nearby rooftop.
The formerly orange mare scratched her head, "There's something happening here, but what it is ain't exactly clear..."

"Wait... Ditzy Doo?" Rainbow espied the mailmare, but couldn't quite believe it.
"Derpy." Answered the pony in question.
"Whatever. What are you doing up there?"
"Deflecting the resistance."
The desaturated pegasus contemplated the sentence, "You... think you're an electrical component?"
The blonde mare shook her head, "No, Deflecting... grr, DIRECTING!"
'Why didn't she just say – oh, ohmigosh.' "Hey, Ditzy, I'm sorry, I forgot you have that weird thing where you say stuff."

Derpy's eyes narrowed, "Do you have anything useful to say, or are you just trying to prove you haven't changed much since flight school?"

'Oh sister, if you only knew...' "Look, I'm sorry if I was a jerk or something, D, but it doesn't really matter anymore, does it – mmph!"

A grayed hoof cut off whatever else the depressed pegasus was about to say. At the other end of the leg, Jackie glared at her. Moving very deliberately, the earth pony withdrew a copy the letter Rarity had written, placing in in Rainbow's reluctantly outstretched hoof. Jackie had no sooner removed the hoof from Dash's muzzle than she made a shushing motion followed by a giving motion towards Derpy. Rainbow nodded, sighing, 'Great, now it's not enough that I make myself miserable, I'm spreading it around...'

Holding the scroll carefully in her mouth, Rainbow Dash slowly flapped her way to the rooftop where Derpy stood, wearing a wary expression. "You uh... is there something wrong with you? You don't look so good."

Rainbow Dash shrugged, proffering the letter. Eventually the naturally gray pegasus even took it, "Uh, Chiang-Kai-Shek."

The desaturated pegasus nodded as though the statement made sense, quickly flying back to the where the earth pony waited, figuring that trying to run away would only cause Jackie to chase her, which seemed even worse that simply trudging through this pointless exercise.

For her part, Jackie caught a glimpse in the distance and gestured for the pokey pegasus to peramble and the earth pony raced after what she'd seen.

Twilight contemplated the yellow pegasus, glancing at Rarity, "General Pyrrhus of Equus is quoted as saying 'another such victory and I shall be ruined'."

The white unicorn scrunched her muzzle, "Well I certainly wouldn't call this much of a success, but at least we..." a soft hiccuping sound reached her ears. She followed the other unicorn's gaze. Fluttershy was doubled over, quietly sobbing while she brushed something. "Fluttershy?" The pony flinched at the sound of her own name, only reluctantly meeting Rarity's gaze. "Are you hurt?"

The yellow pegasus shook her head, still tightly clutching something to her barrel. Assistant Professor Bell made to reach for it when Diane smacked her hoof away, frowning deeply. An image of two manticores flashed through the unicorn's mind and she nodded, grudgingly, at the herbalist.

Tempering her voice, Rarity lowered her head to be eye level with the yellow pony, "He's gone, you're safe now." She raised a hoof, hesitantly, and the pegasus didn't flinch, not even when all three of her friends cocooned her in a group hug. Rarity cast a single confused glance at Diane, but the earth pony scowled and jerked her head toward Fluttershy.

After a few moments, the weatherpony's shoulders released most of their tension. She looked up at Rarity, revealing the yellow doll she clutched, silky pink yarn for a mane and tail... "He changed the wrong one... I'm not... I'm not..."

Rarity and Twilight shared the same thought, 'That's impossible … isn't it?' Finally the white mare spoke, "Shh... we'll sort it out. You don't have to worry anymore." 'Now for the hard part,' Rarity schooled her features, trying for the same beneficence she used with Spike and Sweetie, "May I see... Fluttershy?" It broke her heart to see the uncertainty and hope so artlessly expressed on the pink-maned pony's face as she passed the doll over, careful as if it were a treasure 'or a living thing.'

The librarian couldn't detect any signs of life-force. Twilight, the resident expert, seemed to be cut off from her own resources by whatever emotional scarring Discord had inflicted upon the formerly purple pony. Seeing how badly the pegasus wanted the doll back, Rarity returned it – drowning out the voice in the back of her head that pointed out that keeping the doll might make it easier to prevent the now gun-shy pegasus from fleeing a the first sign of danger. 'I am most certainly better than that.'

The fact remained, however, that in the end they needed Fluttershy to be present. The elements only worked in concert, trying to replace one of them would guarantee failure. "Will you come with us? We can't finish this without your help."

The maybe Fluttershy seemed torn, "I... want to help you, but that means seeing … him again. I don't know if I can, w-what if he realizes his mistake and decides to just make me disappear? Then she'd be completely alone..." The pony's breath became rapid and ragged as she began working herself into –

Diane grabbed the yellow pony's face and stared her directly in the eye, "Hey, listen, no. No no no..." The earth pony shook her head, and turned the pegasus's head slowly from side to side as well. "That's not gonna happen. He's got no power to influence us that we don't give him. You are better than that–"

Fluttershy tried to shake her head, Diane gently but firmly held it in place, "No. Listen to me: if you're giving up your own will then you are now subject to mine, and I say you will do this." The second pony blinked, "You will do this, and you will come willingly, not because those important to Fluttershy need you to, not because it's the 'right thing to do' or any horseapples like that, you will do this for yourself. Is that clear?" Di absently remembered she had a hold on the pony's head and let go. The yellow pony nodded slowly. Diane nodded back, "Good. Let's go." She started toward the door, pausing to glance at the gobsmacked unicorns, "Did I stutter? Move your flanks!"

The archaeology pony grinned, dismissing a momentary impulse to salute, as she trotted after the pair. 'Yess... I can work with this. This can work – this is going to work, I can feel it.'

For want of a War, Ωmega

For Want of a War

Omega

The spirit of Disharmony and Chaos admired the sunny sky as fluffy pink clouds playfully chased pegasi to and fro. He stopped to smell some flowers, terrifying a pink and blonde mare who had hidden behind them. She swooned; Discord hadn't known ponies still did that. He felt like dancing, and summoned a line of buffalo from Apploosa to back him up. It was a great day to be alive, and with just a few artful adjustments he was able to help the citizens of Ponyville appreciate this fact as well, in his own special way.

The fact that everything was going according to his plans, more or less, certainly helped keep his mood buoyant. The draconequus added one or two more surprises to keep everyone on their hooves while he left town on a couple of errands – visiting old friends and making a new one. With a tug of his beard the draconequus vanished into a swirl of smoke that sped toward the Equestrian Capital.

Jackie spared a glance above and behind her. Yes, Rainbow Dash was still following her. She sighed, 'Figures. Might as well finish the task Rare gave us before I try to vamoose.'

Dash was just considering giving up the chase when the earth pony glanced up to see if she was still following. 'Ugh, I guess it's easier to just keep going than to try and outrun her...' At least now she could finally see what the wandering pony was after, halfway across town she spied Spike, 'huh, looks like he's headed to my workshop... whatever.' something about that idea filled her with a sense of dread. Best not to dwell on it, though, she already felt terrible, why borrow extra trouble?

Scootaloo double checked the bearings in her scooter's back wheels, feeling just a bit of pride. Having an engineer for a... whatever the hay Dash was to her, could really be a drag sometimes, especially when the older pegasus went on and on about keeping your stuff clean and maintained, but at times like this she had to admit – only to herself – that it was really good to have complete confidence in her stuff.

While she waited for the signal she considered all the lame stuff that had happened that day: blowing up a school field-trip by releasing an ancient spirit of chaos, having her first meeting of the Princess be overshadowed by that, and then being sent back to the shop to wait and see if everything turned out ok. She hated feeling useless, especially when the orange filly knew everything was kinda' her fault. And where was the big climactic fight with Discord happening? A library – what were they going to do, read the spirit of Disharmony into submission?

Light glimmered up at her – 'Oh! That's the signal.' She pushed off, heading down the steepest hill in Ponyville. She was on a collision course with a monster made of candy, Sweetie Bell was distracting it, while Apple Bloom and Twist threw water on it. Yeah, Twist – Scootaloo hadn't been expecting that when her CMC compatriots had shown up at the shop.

The pegasus buzzed her wings, trying to pick up as much speed as she could, and not think about how she'd complained about the cream furred filly tagging along. Luckily, she'd been outvoted – and then they'd discovered this gumdrop goblin; all of a sudden the candymaker went from being a fifth leg to Neighponyon's understudy. Scoots crouched, lowering her profile and consequently her air resistance, 'argh, stay outt'a my head, Dash!' Despite her tone of annoyance she grinned.

Rarity watched a half-tonne of buffalo turn en pointe, as she absently patted a pink maned panicking pegasus pony. The bull was actually doing a good job of keeping his hoof pointed correctly – She kept being distracted by the fact that all of the tribes bovine were wearing form-fitting leotards with pink ruffles. She shuddered, poor Little Strongheart looked like a potato in a knit sock, and it only got worse from there. The unicorn's left eye twitched occasionally as she tried to make casual conversation.

"S-so this … ah, Dream Serpent, Chief Thunderhooves has chosen to believe its words, and Little Strongheart has not... is, that is... what you're saying?" Sick fascination warred with a desire to move on before Diane burst into laughter as she so obviously wanted to. 'Fluttershy' kept asking if they could go home yet.

An adjacent buffalo nodded, "Yeah, she's challenging him for leadership of the tribe."
"But why are they performing … ah, interpretive dance?"

The bison shrugged, an action that took much longer to finish than one might expect, "Those are the new rules, the Chief's still the chief until he loses, so they do it his way." The buffalo seemed dazed and not altogether … there.

The Assistant Professor nodded mutely, recognizing bureaucracy when she heard it. 'Really, I'm sure she doesn't actually Want to take her father's position, but doesn't see how to convince him, otherwise, that this is the wrong thing for their people. I mean really, ballet? I could see them trying soft-hoof or riverprancing but this is – argh, "FOCUS!"

Rarity realized she had shouted aloud. "Eh, heh-heh, pardon me." she said, weakly smiling. Out of the corner of her eye she espied a gray pegasus chasing somepony on the ground.The flier had a tool-belt slung from her saddlebags, 'that is Rainbow Dash, no doubt about it.'

The white unicorn used a burst of magic to pick up her earth pony and pegasus companions, "Come along now, girls, this has to end soon – one way or another." The chase was on.

Diane crossed her forehooves, floating through the air apace with the town librarian, "Hay, it's about time."

Nearing her target, Scootaloo realized the monster had a filly clutched in one dissolving paw. It seemed to be Diamond Tiara, though it was hard to tell as the pony in question was half coated in solidified sugar. The athletic filly's anger surprised her. She was, in fact, worried about the bully's welfare. Buzzing her wings furiously, she coaxed every bit of speed she could manage.

The young pegasus modified her plan, performing an ollie at the last possible moment , leaping off the scooter, and tackling the earth filly out of the diabolical dessert demon's grasp – her scooter smacking central marshmallowwy mass, smashing through the confectionary creature... and regretted letting Sweetie Bell teach her how to use a thesaurus.

Finally rolling to a stop, she heard somepony screaming like a little colt. Luckily it was Tiara, and when the snob noticed that she was being watched, she shut up. Scootaloo patted her on the shoulder and trotted over to her friends, which, yeah... she guessed did include the candymakers' daughter.

***

Apple Bloom watched Scootaloo trot up, grinning from ear to ear. The orange filly tried to do a hoof-bump with Twist, and ended up having to teach her how to perform one. Bloom left them to their exercise, instead heading over to see how Tiara was doing. "Diamond, are ya ok?" the yellow filly asked, careful not to display any sign of either weakness or contempt.

The pink filly's muzzle crinkled as the moneyed filly sought some scathing reply. Apple Bloom held up a hoof to forestall whatever venom awaited, "Hold on, this ain't the Elementary. None'a the rules apply today. Ah'm not gonna pretend either of us can stand one another, but today Ponyville needs everypony."

Tiara took this in with a raised eyebrow, "And what does that mean?" one earth filly asked the other.

"It means we could really use yer help." Apple Bloom held her face neutral, 'don't tense too much or it looks like you're trying not to express nothing.'

"Really? You need my help?" the white and purple maned pony asked, skepticism warring with curiosity.

The Apple filly giggled, "Nope, but Ah'm asking for it just the same. Like ah said, there's nothin' says we gotta follow the rules today and frankly, our little war's gettin' kinda borin, don't ya think?" She didn't have to force the chagrined grimace that thought brought her.

Diamond Tiara violently stamped on the part of herself that jumped at the thought of being needed, "Alright, fine, I owe you losers something for the assist." she allowed, her countenance darkening for a moment, " But don't think this means anything is going to be different after today." Diamond glowered at the orchard filly before taking the offered hoof.

Apple Bloom grinned, "Ah wouldn't dream of it."

Celestia grinned the tenth time Luna came by to check on her. She knew from experience that when the positions were switched she had done the same thing... 'has it truly been a year? I have done everything possible to make these days last, and yet they still slip away so quickly.'

Luna caught the change in her little big sister's expression, "Sister, what troubles you?"

The filly shook her head, "Just thinking about –" out of the corner of her eye she saw "Discord!". Leaping off her bed, the Solar princess momentarily forgot her stature, rushing to stand between the spirit of disharmony and her sister.

The serpentine equinoid doubled over in laughter, legs kicking spasmodically in the air. Celestia was reminded of her diminution when a blazing orb of sunfire failed to materialize, her horn producing only the faintest of fizzling pops. Desperately swallowing her own snickers, Luna hugged the filly, taking a moment to nuzzle her before gently setting her behind the lunar princess.

A well aimed bolt of shadowstuff choked off the Chaos Spirit's mockery. Spitting a cloud of purple smoke, he rose to his feet, coughing. "Well, well, *caff* well," Discord chuckled, "looks like little Luna's all grown up now..."

The midnight blue alicorn regarded the patchwork creature tensely, ready for anything, "We suppose thou hast– you have not come here to surrender?" she said, speaking the question as a statement.

The draconequus snorted, "You always did have a sense of humor. Nooooo, I'm here to do..." everyone in the room tensed as he spoke, "This!" The figure lunged forward, the Alicorn of the Night tore it apart with a swarm of micro-meteors. At the same time a slap resounded in the room, followed by a high pitched yelp. Celestia landed sitting upright, but quickly sprung to a stand, glancing at her restored cutie mark, and the red paw impression over the same spot, before flushing bright red and glaring furiously at Discord.

Luna choked on her rage, crashing the draconequus into the palace wall. She snarled ferociously, "You go too far, I am going to–"

Discord groaned, "Oh please, you'll do nothing." The draconequus cut off the Night Princess's reply, "I still have all the power and time I took from Celestia. Fight me now and I'll expend it defending myself. Your only hope is that Uncommon and the Hair Bunch somehow beat me," he rolled his eyes, "Unless you want to be saddled with weak, widdle Celly for a few centuries." The beast of Disharmony became vaporous, slipping past and around Luna as he whispered in her ear, "your hope is my shield. That feeling of weakness? It's what happens when you let yourself care too much – your sister taught me that little lesson."

The dark alicorn smoldered, but made no move to stop the amalgamate as he walked to the balcony. One paw on the railing he turned to look at the sisters again, "Oh, I suppose I should remind you: kids her age can be subject to random magical surges–"

The Alicorn of the Moon snorted, "You are mistaken, monster, that is a problem suffered by much younger foals."

The chaos spirit shrugged, "Huh, my mistake. Well, she does now." The draconequus flung himself out the window, falling upward into the clear blue sky.

Luna watched, debating hitting him with a focused gravitic pulse. She turned to her sister to ask Celstia about Discord's last comment; the filly's eyes shone with a bright yellow light. All the shadows in the room began to sway and lurch, as though a candle were being swung around wildly. 'But hold, in the middle of the day 'tis no need for candles... oh dear,' The night princess ran to the balcony, where she behold the sun swooping madly about the sky and growing steadily larger...

Princess Luna sighed, closing her eyes. She couldn't hope to wrest control of the solar orb from her sister, Ruler of the Daystar. She could, however, banish the Sun below the horizon by calling forth her own namesake. And she did, Luna summoning Luna, made the sun drop below the mountains so suddenly one could almost imagine it making some sort of sound.

An elderly green pegasus stood in the doorway, unnoticed in the chaos. The Director of the Department of Inquiry dropped the scrolls he had been carrying, turned around, and began marching out of the castle. 'This is absolutely the last straw,' he groused, deciding to take the afternoon off and call on an old … associate of his.

The events all sort of squished in on each other, but Spike was sure he got to the workshop before Jackie and Rainbow Dash caught up with him. Specifically, he remembered asking Sweetie Bell about the huge crowd of ponies, "Whoa, where'd all the ponies come from?"

"We uh... ran into Ms. Doo and her friends, and then more ponies noticed us, and then more, and well..." Sweetie Bell gestured at the three score or more ponies gathered in front of Dash's workshop.

Spike had almost had enough time to ask "Have you heard anything from–"
When Apple Bloom jumped up, "Jackie!" she shouted, looking past the small dragon at something.
Spike frowned, "No, I was going to say–"
It was Scootaloo who interrupted him the second time, "Rainbow Dash?"

Spike stomped his foot, "No! … wait, what are you looking at..." Turning around, he beheld a gray earth pony and gray pegasus coming to a stop next to him. As his brain unfroze he recognized the elder Apple sister and Ponyville's resident designer. "Uh, hey." The young dragon fidgeted, "Where's Rarity, did you win, is it over?"

Jackie peered back at Rainbow Dash, waggling her eyebrows up and down, while gesturing at young Heathspike. The gray pegasus sighed, trotting forward, and pulled a scroll from her saddlebags, "Coming, no, and no... unfortunately." After a moment Spike took the hint and took the proffered scroll, reading it quickly. "Yeah, Rarity would like you to make several copies of that... of course that was before we knew you'd be gathering half the town in one place." Rainbow concluded. Spike nodded, getting to work.

Scootaloo jumped into the lull in conversation, "OK, what's the deal, Dash?"
The pegasus mare looked at the filly, nonplussed, "Huh?"
The orange pegasus groaned, "Wwwhyyy aarre you gray all of a sudden? What's next? Where are the elements? And yeah, nice to see you, too." Something was very wrong here, and nopony was bothering to explain.

Rainbow nodded, "Right, thanks for reminding me, kid, we need you to evacuate everypony – and that includes the three of you."

A chorus of complaints from the Crusaders greeted the order. Scootaloo glowered, "You're not answering my questions. What. Is. Happening?" she bit off the words, surprised at the lack of words from her guardian. Normally the athletic filly was wishing Rainbow Dash would just stop talking sometimes, but now that she had the experience she found the terse was far worse that the colorful pony's usual stream of words. "If you've got the elements then why do we need to run away. And if you don't have them, then why can't we help you look for them?"

For the first time since she'd shown up desaturated, Rainbow seemed to animate for a moment, "NO! I don't want you anywhere near that creep. If Discord got his claws in you I'd..." she shivered. 'What if... what if Scoot's parents lived, in the other timeline?'

The orange filly took a step back, "Y-you're afraid. This isn't about... you want to run away..." Her pupils shrank, "Oh no... no, nononono... you're giving up. That's it, isn't it? You're bucking giving up!" she backed away from the depressed pony, "You can't... you never … ugh" She felt sick to her stomach, her breath was shallow and rapid. A hitch in her breathing turned to laughter, "I.. hah, I thought you were different, *hih*, I thought you cared. But you don't, do you? I hate you." The words shocked her to silence, but they'd been said, "I HATE YOU! St-stupid, you stupid ...whatever!" Out, away, somewhere else, they all sounded like much better places to be than where she was right that moment. 'Time to scoot.'

Apple Newton's first law of motion tells us that an object at rest tends to stay at rest, unless acted upon by an outside force. The force motivating Rainbow Dash up and after the rapidly fleeing filly was open to debate– the mare herself wasn't sure, all she knew was that she couldn't let Scootaloo leave, 'not like this,' and that had to be enough.

On the 23rd floor of a Manehattan apartment building, a fitful filly slept unsoundly, wrestling with nighttime interpretations of the difficulties of her day. Next to her bed a living nightmare took a moment to glance out the window and contemplate the nature of the city. In the abstract he had considered the place to be a bastion of order and structure, but this close he could feel the pulse of chaos underneath the infrastructure, the stress of competition turning pony against pony, the discarded and the unlawful skulking the darkened corners, and the buildings themselves rotting from the inside; desperate to crumble and fall. When he was done with Ponyville he was going to have to investigate this "Civilization" business further.

'That's enough idle speculation, back to the task at paw,' he reached up and plucked a single hair from his mane, watching it twist and writhe in his paw like a living thing. Twirling his digits he spun the fragment of his essence into a wisp of shimmering smoke, holding it under the filly's muzzle until she inhaled it with a gasp. As much as he despised backup plans as both a habit of Order, he reasoned that doing it just this once was an unpredictable act.

Discord paused as he made ready to return to Ponyville and his destiny. 'Maybe, just maybe, I won't reclaim that bit after I've won. Who knows what fruit a seed of chaos might grow? Could be entertaining to find out.' With a snort and a shake of his head he dismissed the speculation. He could do whatever he wanted to – after he had won. With a moment's thought he became a gray wind, rushing out the window and following a course to Ponyville that had been contemplated by another filly a decade past, but not taken.

Possibilities whirled in her mind as the white unicorn rounded the last corner to behold the crowd of ponies milling about. Her eyes immediately found Heathspike and she began trotting toward him, even as she noted Rainbow Dash's departure and the conversation Jackie and Apple Bloom were … trying to have. Neighbors, friends, coworkers, and random ponies off the street, her eyes kept picking out more and more members of the crowd as she approached her objective.

Fluttershy squealed quietly when she saw the huge crowd. The weather pony panicked, trying to run away, only to run into Diane who just happened to be walking right behind her. The earth mare stubbornly continued moving forward, the yellow pegasus's hooves leaving furrows in the dirt as the pair ground forward. Moments later the recalcitrant pony was recognized and then surrounded. As the weather captain was thronged by well-wishers Di slipped past, taking a moment to smirk at Rarity. Which reminded the white mare that the herbalist claimed to know where the elements had been taken, a fact she filed away for after she had made certain Heathspike was alright.

Finally reaching her adopted son, the scholarly mare was surprised to realize that Twilight was still following her, watching everything with bland curiosity. Ignoring that for a moment, Rarity watched the little dragon studiously copying text, a smile creeping over her lips for what felt like the first time all day. Before she could speak, Spike spotted the shadow that had fallen over him, glancing up with a look of hope that was rewarded as so few things had been in recent history.

That, of course, is when the sun unceremoniously dropped from the sky, plunging the city into darkness. Shrieks and shouts echoed, ponies stumbling as they tried to adjust to the wan moonlight so suddenly. Rarity sighed, knowing that somepony had to calm everypony down before they were done in by accidents. She felt a bittersweet pang, borrowing a little showmareship from an old friend, using a little magic to generate a sourceless seeming ambient light as she jumped onto a nearby crate.

Clearing her throat, Rarity addressed the assembled ponies. "Good day to you all, my friends, family, neighbors, ...and Cherry Berry. I know you have all seen strange and upsetting things around town, the Royal Sisters themselves have tasked my friends and myself with stopping the cause of this havok. And I'm here to tell you that the conflict is almost over. Discord is a being of chaos, and he thinks he's fighting the forces of order. But that is not who we are, and we do not have to accept his terms. A pony is a creature of HARMONY, we are balance, and as such the spirit of Disarray has only as much power over us as we allow him to have." She grinned, looking out over the crowd, "Personally, I am not about to cede my home to him. The more insane and outlandish his antics become, the more desperate I know he is. Come with me, because together we are unstoppable. If we hold together we will see this day through, we will see balance restored, and I promise you we will have the Return of Harmony!"

While the applause was by no means overwhelming, the scholar took her consolation where she could: they were with her, however dubiously. That hope would be what would see the plan through. For once Spike had no complaints about public affection when she hugged and nuzzled him to within an inch of his life. It took no time at all to find Diane, who nodded and began leading their fractured band to the fateful clearing past town.

Scootaloo squirmed in token protest. It wasn't that she was physically uncomfortable, but being cocooned in a full-wing hug in public, with her friends... and her enemies... watching felt embarrassing. At the same time she wasn't quite willing to break free. Every now and then the older pegasus would nuzzle the filly's mane or mumble some inaudible word of apology or affirmation. Together, they watched the naturally gray pegasus pick up the box.

The Doctor simply stared, a large goofy grin building on his muzzle. The orange filly had stumbled across the ... 'hiding place' of the elements. 'Can you really claim to have hidden something when you drop it in a box and plant a ruddy big billboard next to it, though?' he considered the matter, but it didn't really matter. The Draconequus had somehow enchanted the surrounding area with Zeno's paradox of motion or, really, the common misinterpretation people often have about it. '...wibbly wobbly.'

They'd tried everything to get to the box, magic – didn't work, the distance effectively became infinite; flight... did not work out well, one poor bloke tried diving straight down and ended up falling at an infinitely slow speed about ten strides out of reach; neither physical strength nor sheer willpower availed, either. No, in the end, poor depth perception won the day – Derpy started on one side and tried to walk to the other, she actually tripped over the box. Thankfully that ended the spell, which unfortunately meant that … er, 'Thunderlane, that's the chap's name, I'm sure of it.' Anyway, the charcoal pegasus came crashing down, just missing the box and the mailmare.

The zigzagging pink clouds diverged from their random paths, converging on the bowl-shaped indentation that was the final physical legacy of the cloudboom. Spiralling down, they formed a pink and brown striped funnel, whirling with furious energy and occasionally sparking off greenish white lightning and... peppermint sticks? A beast of many parts stepped forth, snake's tail lashing as he gestured for calmness with an eagle's claw and a lion's paw, "Now now, my little ponies, I know you're excited to see me, but the real show is just about to start." Discord chuckled. He raised the eagle claw skyward, suddenly every cloud, white, pink, black and all shades between began to rush toward the growing funnel. With a flourish the draconequus produced a silvered hourglass filled with fluorescent pastel sand.

Flipping open the top the spirit of disharmony pulled out a generous pinch, tossing it into the storm. For a moment the clouds shone with the light of the sun, then darkened to pitch black, picking up such speed that the howling winds made ponies flatten their ears. He carefully secured the top on the hourglass and screwed a wooden handle to its middle. The chaos spirit laughed, "Well, what do you think? I call it 'the Storm of Ages'. What's that I hear? You want an encore?" Glancing at the gathered equinity, he espied a blonde pegasus struggling against the wind, trying to drag the elements away. Somehow Discord's groan was perfectly audible, despite the growing cacophony.

The serpenine figure began stomping toward the retreating pegasus, his steps eating up the distance, behind him the storm continued to grow, threatening to devour the sky. "Ditzy," Stomp, "Derpy," stomp, "Dippity," stomp, "Doo..." stomp, "What am I to do with you?" He towered over the gray mare, seemingly a dozen pony lengths tall, and yet right next to her, "Why am I not surprised to find you here?" Discord paused, stroking his beard, "No, really, why not? I've never tried this before... and yet you being here seems sooo predictable, somehow."

Derpy shielded the box, glaring into the baleful regard of chaos. Moments earlier she had been terrified, horrified even. Now all she felt was anger, "What's your problem, mister? If you think I'm nothing, then why barter telling me that? I think Europe the one that's afraid. And, and, and... you should just stop... twisting things." She swallowed, determined not to give this creep even a single tear, "I can see through you, you know – somepony told you that you're no good, a loser, that you're hopeless. And you listened, even... even though you didn't want to, couldn't help yourself. So now that's all you can do, fail, flail, and fall." She bit the inside of her cheeks, but continued, "This can still end well, if you'll just let it–"

Discord swung the timepiece like a croquet mallet, snarling inarticulately. Derpy had just enough time to make a silent apology to her daughter that she wouldn't see her again – before she was shoved out of the way by a quick moving brown mass. The hourglass hammer struck the stallion's skull, making a deep *thock* noise and lifting the pony bodily into the air, spinning head over hooves before being sucked into the vortex. The draconequus watched, his chest heaving for a moment before he began laughing maniacally.

Six friends were there within moments, although their haste couldn't prevent what had already happened. Rarity gently removed the contents of the box, addressing each element to its bearer. As the other survivors of Omega flight came up to retrieve their grey friend, the yellow pegasus tucked the yellow doll under one of Derpy's hooves. As the band of pegasi retreated, the remaining ponies looked at each other. There really wasn't anything to say.

The spirit of Disharmony conjured a pocket watch and consulted it before glancing up at the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. "Let's get this little sham over with, shall we? You get one shot, and then I'm taking away all hope, it makes you ponies do some amazingly stupid things." He snarled, impatiently tossing away the pair of snazzy red shades he was inexplicably holding, and certainly not painting a target on his chest.

Ponies took formation, standing with varying expressions of determination as... absolutely nothing happened. No fireworks, no shimmering rainbows of light and friendship and puppies, no glowing levitation, nothing. Rainbow Dash poked her necklace, glancing at their fearless leader, "Uh, Rares, do you know what we're supposed to do now? Because I gotta tell you, there is no way in Tartarus that I'm hugging that." She deadpanned, jerking her head toward the patchwork monstrosity.

For his part, Discord counted to sixty under his breath before opening his eyes again. Then he let ten seconds go by, his left foot tapping impatiently, "Oh for Pete's–" Finally the Element of Chance began to emit a bright white glow, pulling all of the bearers aloft, Rarity's eyes glowed with the same intense illumination... until the light flickered and went out, unceremoniously dropping everypony back to the ground. The draconequus made a popping noise with his lips, "Yeahhh, I'm going to have to give you a 'D' for effort, but that counts." With a flick of his wrist Discord wrested the inert elements from their bearers, floating together and approaching the chaos spirit inside a sphere of energy. With one swing of his mallet, the serpentine figure knocked the enchanted jewelry into the raging storm cloud of warped space and time before the assembled six ponies could reach him.

The six skidded to a halt as the elements winked out of existence, the storm vanishing again. The gray pegasus looked around, and simply sat down, hooves over her face. The yellow one gasped and fled as fast as she could, seeking any sort of cover while she desperately searched to see where Derpy had gone, she needed to hide Fluttershy somewhere safe. The wayfarer nodded and simply began heading toward the nearest road. Both unicorns stood, mouths agape. The second earth pony simply glared at the draconequus, as if to say now what?

Discord let them do their things while he sauntered up to the assembled mass of pony. After a good thirty seconds he casually snapped his fingers, teleporting the distraught bearers before him. He winked at his audience, "You'll want to watch this part, folks, it has been a very, very long time since anyone has seen a bearer of the sixth element lose her faith."

"I do beg your pardon, but what exactly are you expecting here?" The ponies looked at her, really looked for perhaps the first time. Did her hooves look just the tiniest bit dull? "Even if you have managed to sway my confidence in these mares, it doesn't really matter. I've always known I was the one who would have to finish up." Despite the confidence in her voice, there was definitely a growing grayness to her coat, it was up past her knees now, and working faster through her tail and mane. "Most of my life I had nopony to rely on, certainly nopony who could understand what I felt, feared, and fought for." Up the withers and halfway across her barrel now... "And it seems like everytime I try to do something... 'nice' I'm punished for it somehow." The grayness began to climb her neck. "You know what? I'm tired of apologizing for being smarter than other ponies, I'm tired of being made to feel bad for knowing what I want and pursuing it. We can't all be humble, small, and shrinking – what a boring world that would be!" And it was over, the gray unicorn shed a single tear and fell silent.

Discord watched as quietly as the assembled Equestrians. After a moment he blinked. "That's it?" he asked nopony. "I won?" nopony contradicted him. Snap went his fingers, the storm vanished as though it had never been there, a brass band appeared and began to play a boisterous celebration. "I won," He waved a paw and the instruments exploded, he tried the words out again, "I won." He began warming to the concept, with gesture the sky exploded in fireworks, "I won," there might have been just a touch of hysteria to his voice. Another wave and the cascading sparks fizzled and went quiet. "I won." There was really only one way to celebrate, he wrapped his paws round his torso and began to laugh, deep and loud. "I WON!"

Author's Note

Hellooo everypony!
This is your friendly neighborhood Chaos Spirit, here to personally thank you all for reading the story this far.
...
I'm going to let you in on a little secret: there's no reason to read the rest of this story.
E-yeah, it's all pretty predictable from here: me, winning, all the time. I mean, sure I may be the greatest hero Equestria has ever known, but I've won now. There's no challenge to what comes afterward.

So, take it from me, spare yourself the tedium and call it done here. 'Kay?

A Nation is Lost

"I won," he said it one last time, just to savor the feeling, "I won." It still made him feel giddy. The sun flashed into the sky as the moon dropped from view. Discord turned, contemplating the six ponies who had been the last real threat to him. 'And what, praytell, do I do you all of you? Right now you're reminders that I can best anypony. But… leave you running around too long and somepony may get stupid ideas about rebellion...' Maybe. Probably. 'Ahh, I don't care right now – I'll take care of it, later. Right now it's time to really cut loose.' He chortled, contemplating the possibilities...

The beast of chaos popped his knuckles – for a fifty mile radius every robin, bluejay, and sparrow dropped to the ground and began tunneling through the dirt, the worms didn't even know what hit them. He stretched his spine out, and every calendar in the left half of the Equestrian continent had every instance of Wednesday replaced with the name Cedric. A few deep knee-bends just felt good, but as an afterthought he made all the local freshwater fish into flying creatures. Pikes prowled the trees, minnows nibbled at bushes, and catfish sunned themselves on rooftops.

Limbered up, Discord decided to perform a few 'warm-ups', old gags that still amused him. Floating houses, conceptual jokes, the usual. He figured after a few minutes some real inspiration would occur, and he could come up with something to show off. Because, because everypony had to know who was in charge now, darn it. Any minute now he'd come up with a beauty...

"Blast." Time Turner cursed, the crummy pen had dropped a spot of ink onto his carefully written application. He wasn't entirely sure what to do; the one thing was abundantly clear was that he needed to be in these flight classes. Both because Derpy clearly remembered him being there, and because he was, truth be told, abominable when it came to controlling his feathery appendages.

The scroll was snatched from him by a tired looking bureaucrat, who put on a pair of pince nez glasses and inspected the scant details provided. "OK, application for one Tim. E Turner. Thank you."

The Doctor started, "err, that's not exactly right, you see the pen–" there was nopony present to listen to his explanation. 'Well I suppose it's not the worst clerical error ever made.'

It had been at least half an hour since Discord had declared victory over the elements of harmony. Somepony would have looked at a clock, but the devices started melting if one looked directly at them. Clearly, the Reign of Chaos was going to take a lot of getting used to.

Several copies of a scroll were carefully passed around. Ponies read and hoofed them to their immediate neighbors as surreptitiously as they could. Sweetie Bell heard a mulberry and blue maned pony cough loudly next to the filly, casually sliding a copy across the grass. Sweetie read it, then she read it again. She might have been tempted to read it at third time, but she had a sinking feeling the instructions wouldn't change. The diminutive unicorn glared at her desaturated sibling, vowing revenge if they ever made it out of their current predicament.

It didn't matter, there was no way she'd have the chance to do... that. And in front of everyone. Why would Rarity do this to her? It didn't make sense... she watched an inflated porcupine float by, polishing any bit of brass it passed. 'Oh, right, there isn't any sense anymore...' Somehow that did not make her feel better.

Discord sat on his paws and contemplated... nothing. He had the entire world as a blank canvas, and he couldn't think of a single thing to do. Oh there were tons of pranks he wanted to play, but he couldn't remember a single Faust-sketched one of them. Maybe he should go rub the Princesses's muzzles in how misguided their faith in the elements and their bearers had turned out to be. 'Eh, maybe in a bit.' or he could taunt Derpy about her utter failure to make a difference, 'well, yeah, but she's already shut down emotionally... no use in beating a dead-'

*Hiccup/Fwoosh* a bright flash of light was followed by a small groan. The spirit of disharmony's ears perked up as he flitted over to the growing pile of letters next to a young dragon obviously in the throes of intestinal woe. Discord snatched one up at random and scanned the lines, "Dear Princess Luna... blah blah blah... learned that you can always count on..." he made various gagging motions as he mumbled his way through the trite missives. Finding nothing of any value he gestured and the entire pile crumbled to ash; he whistled up a wind and blew the ash away. 'Nice try, Moonbutt,' he snickered.

Rarity glanced up with something like vague curiosity as her adoptive son expelled another magical message, before returning to carefully brushing her mane and coat. "Spikey, dear, do you need an antacid?" she called, not really listening for an answer.

The youngling groaned again, " *Oughh*... make it sta-hhp."

Discord grinned, "I normally don't do requests, but consider your wish granted, little dragon". With a flourish the draconequus produced a black tophat, reached into it, and pulled out a gray parasprite. He stared into the tiny monster's compound eyes, causing them to swirl in many colors, then he released the little beast. After a moment it took wing, fluttering around. Without warning it darted above the purple dragon, opening its jaw impossibly wide and closing it again over blank air. A moment later it belched, releasing a few fragments of parchment.

The chaos spirit chortled, leaping into the air, "Behold the benevolence of your Dictator-for-Life Discord!" He considered the matter, 'maybe I can amuse myself by granting their wishes in ways that backfire spectacularly or result in huge amounts of collateral damage. That should be amusing...'

The brown pegasus stallion struggled through horizontal rainfall, a fell wind roaring in his ears. The adrenaline that had gotten him to the cottage had failed ages ago, but he had no choice. This was going to be his only chance to get readings on the blasted storm, and of course he'd dropped his bloody screwdriver earlier. The only lucky break was that he had turned on low-level sonic vibration before losing his grip on it, so he hoped it would be possible to feel his way to the tool.

Ten minutes later he was about to give up when he finally felt something. It seemed the thin metal device had become immersed in the muddy ground, and he had to paw it out without touching it directly and sending it deeper. It was much like trying to remove a splinter without tweezers – a tool only unicorns could manipulate.

For once, hard work turned out to be rewarding. Moments after he had retrieved the little beauty it began reacting violently to a temporal intrusion. By the time he'd triangulated the source there were only moments to leap out of the way, a gust of wind blowing him dozens of meters away; he saw the golden flash of the object spattering into the same mud he had just dug up. 'Typical.'

With a certain amount of effort he was able to make the mucky mess of mud yield up its second prize. It was unrecognizable, but from memory he knew it to be a golden choker with a single gem in the shape of a storm cloud. Considering storm clouds, he was reminded that things were about to become infinitely more unpleasant nearby, so he ran... inasmuch as it was possible to do so in his circumstances.

When he awoke after the blast we was lodged in the branches of an overturned tree. By some quirk of fate he had thought to put the sonic screwdriver and the element of loyalty into his saddlebags, which were hanging from a nearby branch. The doctor smiled grimly, 'right, one down, five to go...'

Rarity glanced nervously at the demon of disharmony, though he seemed occupied at the moment. She caught sight of another white unicorn as she turned back, 'I am so sorry, Sweetie Bell, but there was nothing else I could think of.' Shaking the thought away with a toss of her mane, she discarded the brush, creeping slowly toward her friends.

She started with the other gray unicorn. "I'm going to guess family problems, stop me when I get something wrong, won't you dear? Judging from your affliction, you must have said something you'd give anything to take back." Twilight refused to make eye contact, so Rarity grabbed her head in both forehooves, "Just exactly how do you think you will ever repair what you have done without speaking the truth? Lies will avail you nothing, and silence is downright poisonous." The history professor chuckled bitterly, "Take it from one who has made that mistake several times. The truth hurts, but pain lets us know we are still alive." Sparkle looked at her, and the expression on her muzzle was one of doubt, but it was still the most response she had given since leaving the library.

Things were not going smoothly, but at least the minor hiccups were providing him with some small measure of diversion, as Discord considered the matter. The first pony to approach, a carrot-topped mare called 'something Harvest' had wished the draconequus would just go buck himself. He'd turned her into a radish. After that it had taken a long time for anypony to be willing to come forward – he'd had to idly comment to himself that granting wishes might be slightly more entertaining that turning ponies into lawn furniture.

Next had come the frivolous little requests: turning the grass into a checkerboard pattern, turning the sky fucsia, one pony wished for all the shrubbery to be orange, the next had wished for it to be blue, and then he'd had about six more going back and forth. In the end he'd turned the last one's coat into an orange and blue checkerboard pattern.

He'd anticipated that they would just about be gathering the nerve to try and trick him when a pink filly marched up to him. Apparently her 'special talent' was redundancy, because she was wearing the same headgear that marked her flank. Nevertheless she certainly seemed to have the potential to amuse him for a few moments, the pettiness in her character was blindingly obvious. "And what, pray tell, can Discord the Great and Powerful do for you?" His grin was wide as he leaned forward to take in every little detail.

The scholar noted that the spirit of Disharmony was still managing to amuse himself quite effectively. 'It can't last, but I need to get as far as I can before he comes back around to gloat...'

Next up was Diane. Rarity wasn't entirely sure how to... no, she knew exactly how to proceed. A field of blue magic held the earth pony in place as the unicorn hissed into her ear, "well, was it fun? Did you enjoy getting to be the catty one for awhile? I can certainly understand the frustration of watching everypony continue to make the same mistakes over and over, but aren't you the one who is usually telling me that too much of anything is bad for you? It's time to care again, it's time to–" a distinctly pink, if still somewhat desaturated, hoof stopped the unicorn's speech, the owner of the appendage rolling her eyes over to a pegasus who was blue in every sense except her hue. The town librarian nodded.

He was almost two minutes off as to when the crash happened.

The gray pegasus peered at the canted blue box, "Hello? Is there anypony in here?" cautiously she stuck her head through the open door, "Whoa, it's–" The Doctor crept around to the other side of the TARDIS, ostensibly to avoid being seen by himself, but mostly to not hear the line again. He used to love that bit.

That was the worst part of the next few years, he'd know that she was here, with him. Of course he was himself, but he wasn't him now... hold on when he was himself he was/wouldn't will have... oh, nevermind, it was confusing and painful, that pretty much covers it. The Doctor caught sight of the blonde pegasus and what looked like an earth pony walking toward the nearby town, and he made his move – first retrieving the necklace from where it had rebounded off the time machine causing both to crash in the modern era. The gem was of indeterminate color, and could either have been a piece of fruit under a balloon, or a very fat exclamation point. 'I suppose that rather is the point.'

Now was his chance to 'borrow' the blue box and finish everything up again... of course that meant he'd have to bring it back as well. 'Bloody paradoxes...' grumbled the brown stallion to himself.

"Rainbow Dash, I am afraid there is simply no kind way to put this," Rarity sighed, plunging ahead, "the level of paranoid self-aggrandizement required for you to believe that your choices are the sole source of changes in a pony's destiny is staggering." Ah, now she had the pegasus's attention. "Simply put, you have neither the responsibility, nor the right to carry the weight of the world upon your shoulders. More importantly, I wouldn't trade you for anything. Now get up."

Hints of color began to return to the pale pony, "Rarity, I'm so s–"

The historian put a hoof over her face and groaned. "Rainbow, I swear to Luna that if you try to apologize for anything that monster did to you I will... well I don't know what I would do, but it would be very messy." she was not altogether successful at keeping a note of amusement out of her voice. Dash did seem to be improving, however, so it was time to move on–

"Jackie's next right? I noticed something important earlier, when I was having trouble caring about anything. I think she..." the blueing pegasus shared a few observations that would prove to be very helpful.

It took longer to find the grayed earth pony than Rarity had expected. 'Was she trying to get away? It looks like Dash was right... oh dear.' She cleared her throat, startling the formerly blonde pony. "Ah, Jacqueline, how are you?"

Jackie stared at the white unicorn,
"I've been down so long,
It looks like up to me,
Why won't you ponies,
C'mon an' set me free..."

This the scholar pony ignored, "Quite. So, I was just thinking about how the two of us have never really had a good informal chat. More's the pity, since I rather envy you your travels and all the sights and experiences you must have had." Rarity was surprised to find that she meant what she was saying. "I won't stop you if you insist on leaving, but I warn you now that you're never going to get rid of us. Call me greedy if you must, but I refuse to give up anything I treasure as much as my friendships." It was true, but it rang hollow somehow.

That was when she realize what she was going to have to do, gouache as it would be. "Err, perhaps what I mean to say is You've got a friend in me."

When the orange pony fell over giggling, Rarity knew it was time to either move on to Fluttershy or kill Jackie. Which would have been a waste of a great deal of effort, she assured herself.

Diamond Tiara shivered, in spite of herself. But she shook it off, she was going to see justice done today. The so-called Cutie Mark Crusaders were at the center of the entire mess, and she was going to use that to get at least one tiny bit of satisfaction out of this entire travesty of a day... she stopped grinding her teeth and glared up into the draconequus's smug face.

"You can tell everpony here what really happened today." Growled the white and purple maned filly. "How three stupid blank-flanks broke you free to do all of this." Her voice raised in pitch as she threw herself into the accusation, "You can point out, once and for all, that they're really a bunch of hypocrites who are more dangerous and more malicious than I've ever been." She took a few quick breaths before glaring up at the Spirit of Disharmony. "That's what you can do for me!"

The filly's furious fuming had earned the attention of most of the assembled equinity. Discord grinned, "she's right, you know. All of this wonderful chaos is possible because of you three." He floated over to them, looming and leering, "such loyal service deserves rewarding. tell me, is there anything your hearts desire?" He already knew what drove their every waking moment, but making a pony admit what they wanted was part of the fun. he decided to go for the unicorn, she seemed ripe to crack, "You are Sweetie Bell, sister of Rarity, if I'm not mistaken? Can you honestly tell me that there is nothing in this world you desire?"

The white filly shivered visibly, horrified by the public attention, struggling with herself. Discord could practically taste the inner turmoil. Finally Sweetie let out her breath, and with a lowered head whispered, "yes. There is one thing that I want – more than anything else in the world, I'd like..."

"Things are starting to speed up, so I'm afraid I don't have time to do this gently, Fluttershy."

"I told you before, Rarity, I'm not–"

"In your right mind, yes, I've figured that out. But you ARE Fluttershy." Rarity advanced upon the cowering pegasus, hating herself but not seeing any other options she had time for, "It confused me before, but there was too much else going on, your claim. Occam's razor tells us that the simpler solution is often the real one. It would be far easier to make Fluttershy question her own identity, and then turn the fake into a doll... in a way it wouldn't even be a change."

"B-but–"

"And if Discord could just turn us into inanimate objects, why bother with the rest? Why not just turn us all into paperweights and torture each of us in turn, at his leisure?" Rarity walked forward, for all the world looking like she barely even noticed the pegasus, as though she were simply pacing and speculating aloud.

"However, that is not the most compelling reason for not believing that Fluttershy was turned into a doll. No, I would rather believe that Fluttershy trusted her friends enough that, on occasion, she could admit to being afraid, unsure, or even simply frustrated. That she could stop pretending to be a perfect doll." Now she looked directly at the yellow mare, "What do you think? Doesn't that sound like a much better world to be living in?"

Fluttershy nodded.

It was like a click, one moment Sweetie's heart was pounding like it was going to leap out of her chest, and the next time and space seemed to have become some sort of perfect crystal. Her doubts, her fears, it all just slipped away... She looked up at the Demon of Disarray and she smiled. "What I want?" She drew in a deep breath, 'now or never.' She glanced at her co-conspirators, her best friends, and she sang. Loud, clear, and pure; she sang, performance anxiety be damned.

"I'd like to build the world a home," these first moments were going to be the most crucial, and here came her three backups, joining her one the second line,

"And furnish it with love," now it was Bloom's turn:

"Grow apple trees..."
"And honey bees..." Sweetie came back in.
"And flying tortoises." That was Scootaloo's addition, but it worked, somehow.

For his part, Discord didn't seem to know what to make of event yet, Sweetie pulled into the second verse, hoping like mad that Spike and the others were getting everypony to join in, or this was going to be over very quickly.

"I'd like to teach the world to sing," rang the unicorn filly's voice. From the corner of her eye she saw ponies swaying.
"Sing with meee..." Applebloom and Scoots came in on the end of her line, finding a common pitch.
"In perfect Harmony..." all three Crusaders joined in, holding the last note...
"Per-fect Harmony," Twist echoed, a few of the crowd joining her. Interestingly, she didn't sing with a lisp.
"I'd like to hold it in my hooves," all the participants sang,
"And keep it company." Sweetie began projecting from her diaphragm, leading the others.

Thirty seconds had gone by, the draconequus was beginning to frown and the crowd had to be starting to understand... Four fillies locked hooves, swaying side to side as they continued...

"I'd like to see the world for once," Twist grabbed the hoof of a green unicorn... umm, Lyra, was it?
"All standing hoof in hoof," Flitter took Scootaloo's other hoof, Sweetie could hear lines of ponies forming behind them.
"And hear them echo, through the hills..." The tricky parts were coming up.
"For peace throughout the land!" She rose on the tide of voices, bringing them higher.

"Okay, you can stop now," Discord growled, feeling uncomfortable.
Sweetie nodded at Apple Bloom, not paying any attention to the chaos spirit.

"That's the song Ah hear," the youngest Apple sang loud and clear.
"Sing it along..." Sweetie, Scootaloo and Twist responded, all four joining up again...
"Let the world sing today," now that they were in full swing they had to hope enough of the others would join in...
"Over and over!" Enjoined the first two rows, the further rows humming as they waited to join and the cycle repeated.

"Stop singing, or I'm going to..." The spirit fumed, barely able to hear himself over the growing crowd of voices. The growing harmonization of voices... 'aw crud...'

"I'd like to teach the world to sing," this time the whole first row sang.
"Sing it along..." and more than thirty ponies responded.
"In perfect Harmony," Six mares had trotted out in front of the CMC, pausing to wink at them before joining in.
"Over and over!" Every pony present joined in. Sweetie could feel the tide of the music lifting her out of herself.

"Boo! Hiss! Get off the stage! Your lead singer sounds like a robot with bad auto-tuning!"
As the crowd began the echoing refrains, Sweetie reached deep inside and found the voice to deliver the last lines

"A song of peace
That echoes on
And never goes away..."

Over and over the choruses rang out, ponies who didn't know the words hummed along. Cotton candy clouds slowed and began to dissolve into nothing, buildings drifted back toward the ground, and zaniness became more sedate in general. Without physically changing, Discord seemed less something, less … 'satisfied with the narration of this story, perhaps?' Now there's no need to be rude– 'oh I beg to differ.'

…

In any case, the bearers of the elements of harmony took the field, sporting greater or lesser degrees of restored saturation. The spirit of disharmony watched them through lidded eyes. "You... used a spell to make yourself look gray, didn't you?" he not so much asked as accused the white pony.

Rarity grinned, "not my most elegant solution, but one can hardly argue with the results."

"I can argue with anything. I had a two decade debate with a patch of grass about the merits of photosynthesis." Discord's quip failed to earn even a chuckle. "Whatever. But you've made a serious error, Miss Bell. You've shown your hand. All I have to do is wait until your little chorus line gets bored or falls out of tune. This is not a mistake I'll allow to happen again." He sneered, steepling his fingers, when he began to wonder... 'no, NO. I am not going to ask, there is no way I'm tempting fate–' "...You must realize you can't win, what in Equestria were you hoping to accomplish here?" 'De Lancie with a sore throat, I just had to ask, didn't I?'

"Moi? Absolutely nothing." The scholar grinned, disturbing both the enemy and her allies, "And that scares you all the way to Tartarus, doesn't it? I finally realized what you were talking about, back when we first met. Any plan I could come up with, you could foil before I finished. So instead of racking my brain for an impossible solution, I decided to take a chance."

Jackie burst out laughing, "Rarity, that's hilarious..." her unicorn friend wasn't laughing. "You're serious? Uh, sug' don't take this the wrong way, but are you out of your dang mind?" The earth mare gestured at the draconequus, "Are you honestly expecting to depend on random chance to beat the supposed incarnation of chaos? Ah mean to say, it's not like serendipitous coincidences like that happen in real life–"

*Vworp, vworp* a blue rectangular solid materialized out of nothing and nowhere, a door on one side bursting open to reveal a brown pegasus stallion carrying a cardboard box held by a unicorn foal. "Pardon me, but did anypony order a case of Deus Ex Machina?"

"NO!" Discord howled, "This is im– highly unlikely and improbable!"

The improbable pegasus regarded Dinky Doo, "Remind me to pick up a copy of 'Brer Rabbit' to read to you later, will you Muffin?" He glanced at the distressed Discord, quirking an eyebrow, "Honestly, throwing a time traveler into a temporal vortex? You're just lucky I've forsworn causing paradoxes–"

A gray blur tackled the stallion, pausing to catch the lavender filly in a tight hug before nuzzling both. "You're ok... I- I thought–" words failed the mailmare, so she did without them.

Rainbow Dash made a dive for the box, only to have Discord shove her muzzle-first into the grass as he reached and– suddenly found himself under a sizable boulder.

"Say hello to my little friend," Rarity cackled, "Sit, stay. Good Tom."

Fluttershy helped the blue pegasus back onto her hooves and the pair distributed the five necklaces–

"We appear to be missing one," Diane noted.

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Rarity, how did you end up with such an overly dramatic element?"

The pony in question chuckled, "I'm certain I have no idea what you're implying, Twilight, dear. Meantime, everypony get into position, I think we're all quite ready for this to be over." With a crack of thunder from a clear sky, the tiara of the sixth element materialized.

As the light of harmony began to glow, Discord moaned, "I don't want to g–"

"Oi!" shouted an irate time traveler.

Six colors bled into one, and the rainbow of harmony spiraled up and crashed down upon the screaming Discord before extending an ever-expanding dome of light that rushed into the countryside, restoring balance to that which had been warped by the influence of chaos.

Eventually the light faded and ponies opened their eyes again. Loved ones and friends were found, checked out, and in turn assured that each was still alright. Over time, normalcy would go back to being a boring thing, but in its scarcity the mundane had become precious – or, seen another way, the everyday remained as it was, but ponies saw it with more appreciation than before.

Finally there were no more excuses to put off the inspection of the fallen foe of sanity. The six approached, the crowd following close behind. None of them could have said what they expected, but what they beheld was not it.

Discord lay, petrified, clutching at the large rock; he appeared to be either trying to hide behind it or hugging it, depending on what angle the statue was viewed from. More pressing seemed to be the broken hourglass, which was hemoraging glowing pastel–

Rarity began barking orders, "Rainbow, flask, now!" she glanced at the pegasi, relieved to see that both had landed, sacrificing mobility for a reduced risk of spreading the 'sand' that represented the power of an alicorn. The white unicorn shared a look with her purple counterpart and they began whisking as much of the precious spilled dwimmer-dust as they could before it melted away. Everypony moved quickly and carefully, loath to even breath lest they waste years of the princess's life.

They salvaged as much of the luminous sand as they could. There was no way to gauge how much was left, but it was definitely less that it had been. Why hadn't it simply been restored to the solar princess, was she out of the rainbow's effective range? The sun remained in its rightful place in the sky; the mystery would have to wait until they could return the glowing phial to its rightful owner.

Author's Note

In other news, this excellent fan art was drawn by Soulite1110 / 1110Soulite on dA

I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again, MLP has the best fans I've ever seen!

All for want of a nail

And All for Want of a Nail

Celestia lay asleep; Luna stood, marveling how peaceful the filly looked that way. 'An how much has changed in a single year, that we find ourselves in opposite places?' A smile crept across the midnight blue alicorn's muzzle.

A sudden burst of magic ended her reverie. In the corner a dwarf apple tree – gift of the selfsame clan – glowed softly; a flower bloomed, formed fruit, and ripened within the blink of an eye. Continuing to grow, it become translucent, glowing with a lavender light. A moment later it burst in a flash of light, depositing a unicorn of similar hue upon the floor.

The night princess didn't bat an eyelash, "What news, Twilight Sparkle?"

Twilight sketched a curtsy, "We defeated Discord, and…" she produced a glass flask from her saddlebags, "This was all we were able to retrieve of … whatever he stole from Celestia." The level of luminous sand within did seem less than when last Luna had beheld it. "I'm so sorry, it was broken when we found it–

"We had despaired of regaining any of Celestia's stolen time. You have done us a great favor in retrieving even this much; I thank you, as a sister, as a ruler, and as a citizen of the world." The alicorn bent her head nearly to the floor before accepting the phial.

"W-well, if you say so, your maj–
"Such formality ill suits the circumstances, Twilight Spa… Twilight. I entreat you: call me Luna."
"Oh, yeah… sorry," the unicorn ran a hoof through the back of her mane. "How are you going to…"

The flask, enveloped in a field of shimmering blue energy, uncorked and inverted itself, its contents dumped unceremoniously onto the sleeping filly. The sand fizzled with pastel light on contact with the alicorn, dazzling and brief. Celestia sneezed once, otherwise undisturbed.

"...oh." Twilight managed. "So... that's it?"
"Further recovery will take time."

Ponyville pulled itself back together. Overhead the weather team ranged, tracking down the few remaining clouds and poaching what weather they could from the Everfree. The rain would be sparse, but sufficient. In the town square, makeshift tents had been pitched to provide shelter as the hospital's staff, Diane, and any other ponies with relief training cared for those suffering from shock. Rarity insisted on helping, despite looking as though she could fall over herself at any moment.

Further afield, ponies of all ages searched for anypony who had become disoriented or lost in the bedlam. Rainbow Dash and Jackie monitored the Cutie Mark Crusaders, whose extensive experience with becoming lost, disoriented, and trapped afforded them insight about where to look.

They were pulling up a colt who had fallen into a dry well. Sweetie's heart sank as she noticed her orange friend's eyes on her. The unicorn tried to gesture for the pegasus to remain silent, but Scootaloo either didn't notice or didn't understand the gesture.

"Wow, congratulations Sweetie," the purple maned filly chirped, pointing, "you got your cutie mark!"
"Nnn–" it was impossible to deny it, the mark was plain as day.
"It looks like a bunch'a notes all strung together…" Applebloom chimed in, grinning fit to burst.

"...it's a 'bell chord', a kind of musical harmony." Sweetie muttered

Rainbow Dash frowned, catching the filly's expression and tone, "Hey, kid, are you alright? You sound kinda down for a filly who's just reached a major development in her life." Dash ignored the fisheye stare Jackie was giving her.

"I don't want it." the unicorn whispered. She might as well have screamed. Everypony stopped what they were doing to stare.

"What?" squeaked Scootaloo, "Why wouldn't you want your cutie mark? What have we been doing all this time if not–

"We've been having fun, going on adventures, been being friends – that's what we did!" Tears threatened from the musically marked filly. "A-and now it's all over, how can I be a 'Crusader' for something I've already got?" She didn't understand how the two of them couldn't see this as an ending, as a tragedy. They were supposed to all get their marks at the same time; one for all, and all for their cutie marks.

"Now that's just plum loco, Sweetie. We just make Twist an honorary member." Apple Bloom huffed.
"B-but…" Sweetie stumbled, loathe to let logic lead the discussion.
The orange filly frowned, "You're not trying to ditch out on us are you? You're not tired of us, ... right?"

"W-what? No! That's the opposite of what I meant – I – *hic*"

The two clung to her with desperate affection. Jackie herded the onlookers away to give the three some privacy – even dragging Rainbow by the scruff of her neck until the pegasus got the idea.

Hiding behind shrubbery to watch, Rainbow chuckled awkwardly, "Heh, kids; trying to hide their darkest fears and making things out to be worse than they are, huh?" She rubbed the back of her neck.

Jackie winced, "Yeah, assumin that if they disappoint folk they'll be rejected out of hoof, or that they never really had a bond in the first place."

Dash turned her head, "Um, I think I need to tell you and the rest–"
The earth mare shushed the pegasus, pointing.

Scootaloo broke the hug first, having a low tolerance for 'mushiness'. "Just so we're clear, I still expect you to help us get our cutie marks too." She grinned.

Applebloom snapped her tail at the pegasus, "what she meant ta say, Sweetie, is that we wanna be yer friends whether you've got a cutie mark or not–

Scootaloo sniffed, "Well, duh, of course I meant that. It goes without saying–
"If it went without sayin', that'd mean ya had used telepathy." Bloom rolled her eyes.
"That's just dumb, the town isn't wired for that." The small pegasus gestured generally toward Ponyville.

"What? Wires don't got nothing to do with it." The yellow filly was non-plussed.
"Sure they do, you can't have a telephone without wires. It's like… a law, or something."
"A telephone? No, ah'm talkin' about psychic powers."

"Uh, girls?" Sweetie tried to interject.
"Don't be stupid, those aren't real." Scootaloo pushed her head forward, shoving Applebloom back
"Ah know they ain't that was mah point!" The apple filly pushed back, their foreheads butting.

"You know what?" Scootaloo snarled.
"What?" the earth filly growled.
"I can't remember what we're arguing about."

Applebloom fell over, causing Scootaloo overbalance and knock into Sweetie, tumbling the trio into a pile. Moments later they were giggling and coming up with plans for their next foray.

A distance away, a blue pegasus rubbed her chin. "Well, that's a relief. But you know… that does give me an idea."

"Rainbow, sug', if you get those two loons in yer basement to build a psychic telephone, I will personally buck your hide from here to Tartarus." Jackie's expression was far less serious than her tone.

As the sun set, an adolescent white pony walked through the palace gardens, pausing before a rather inexplicable sculpture. Consisting of a mishmash of limbs and animal parts slapped together without consideration for symmetry or good taste. The figure held a large rock, and appeared to be either clutching or presenting the boulder, depending upon the viewer's angle. The mare paused, imagining various explanations for the statue's attitude, perhaps–

"What's that expression? 'Take a picture, it'll last longer'." Spoke a sardonic voice.
Celestia shrugged, "How long are you going to hold onto that burden?"

With a groan, the draconequus set 'Tom' down, pausing to regard his statue. "Well, thanks for the 'break', I suppose." He snorted.

"I was not referring to the rock."
"Hmm? Whatever. I have a few more ideas for next time – I was this close this time around."

The sun princess nodded. "You will have plenty of time to consider it. This universe is going to run its course before you get another chance."

Discord giggled, "And they –by which I mean 'I'– say you have no sense of humor."
"Discord, the point of this exercise is not for you to find some 'winning combination'… there isn't one."

"That's what you say." the serpentine apparition crossed his forelimbs.
"We have done this countless times. And you lose. Every. Time." The alicorn stalked forward.
"Well, you always stack the deck against me…" he sulked.

The pale pony princess blew a raspberry. "It isn't 'stacking', friendship is simply stronger than you are. In any world where my little ponies exist, they will overcome you… whether it takes them twenty two minutes or a thousand years, you never win in the end." The alicorn sighed. "And I have grown tired of waiting for you to see the point on your own."

The spirit of disharmony mulled this over. "So… you're saying that I have to watch the entire course of this universe before I get another chance?" He quirked an eyebrow, "Really?"

Celestia shook her head, "You have only been a prisoner of your own inability to adapt."
"Oh? Ok, I'm ready to change." Discord stood, looking expectant.
The day princess put a hoof over her face. "Discord, even if I believed you, that isn't how it works."
"Oh but isn't it, 'Celly'? Isn't it, though?"

The alicorn remained unconvinced. The draconequus sighed, "Whatever. I don't even care anymore." The etherial draconequus ran a claw through his beard, "Wait… we made a bet, didn't we?" A hint of a smile surfaced on his long face.

Celestia faked a look of surprise, "By Faust, I almost think we did." She let him have the moment.

At a snap of talons, conjuring a confection consisting of marzipan, meringue, mousse mousse, dandy doughnuts, and ephemeral eclairs. "Looks tasty enough, but why put yourself at extra risk for a snack?"

"Well, I have a feeling it won't be created this time around," the white mare looked the colossal confection over. "It is a paradox, the mare who crafts it is also the one who guarantees I get nothing but a taste."

Discord rolled his eyes, "I suppose we all have our trials. You've got what you wanted, so I take it this is goodbye?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, Luna was willing to try something a little different… this world already being a minor variation."
The spirit of chaos started, "Did you just… wait, what do you mean 'something different'?"

Celestia's horn glowed with a golden light, moments later Luna led a line of ponies into the yard. For the most part they regarded the statue, but the second alicorn and six mares at the front looked to the first to occupants of the clearing.

The spirit of disharmony slumped his shoulders, "They're all going to talk, aren't they?"
The sun pony's face was a mask of sympathy, "Twilight helped them write note cards." But her eyes twinkled.

Jackie shuffled her hooves, reached for a note, and tossed it to the ground. "I don't really need that, I've been thinking about this all day." She straightened the brim of her hat. "You have no power we didn't give you in the first place, Discord."

"In my case, I'd become so accustomed to the idea of being an outsider that I couldn't even let myself believe that there were ponies who wanted me around. The fact that I was afraid of losing that means that at some level I realized these really are my home, my friends, my family." She looked at a group of earth ponies near the front of the gathering, her smile small but genuine. "Now that I've faced that, I can laugh at my old fears."

Rarity nudged Diane, who trotted forward. The pink pony cleared her throat. "We are all creatures of many parts, and we may not like some aspects of ourselves. But it is only by acknowledging the existence of our true selves that we can evaluate who and what we are. In the end, we are both the best and worst of ourselves, and we spend our entire lives discovering what that means. What I am, what I could be, having seen these things… perhaps I can be kinder to myself, and in turn to others, for how can we love in others what we do not accept in ourselves?"

Twilight finished rereading her note cards, forcing herself to set them down. "The truth is that we rarely recognize the truth, and so easily become complacent to the lies we tell ourselves."

She took a deep breath and sighed loudly. "Sometimes we have to have our noses rubbed in an unpleasant reality before we even see it." She looked up, managing to catch both the statue and apparition with a piercing glare, "Honestly, I don't think I'm ever going to like you, but I can admit that my folly was of my own making. It isn't enough not to lie, withholding the truth is its own form of dishonesty."

Fluttershy sighed, getting to her hooves. "I didn't learn anything at all. But I did rediscover something I already learned before: if we want to be loyal to others, to serve our fellow pony, it is first necessary to treat one's self with the respect and goodwill we wish to express to and receive from others. I am as obligated to take care of myself as I am to help others, because how can I value them if I don't value myself?"

Rainbow looked up, rubbing the back of her mane. "So, yeah… I guess everypony pretty much addressed a lot of what I was thinking. But, my real lesson is that there's a difference between learning from the past and beating yourself up over it. Maybe we screwed up, maybe there wasn't really anything we could have done." The blue pony shrugged, shaking her head. "In the end, we have to live in the world that exists and keep moving forward. We can't hide from the past, but we also can't live there. To forgive is to give to the future, and I guess I have to look at the present before I can do that for others."

Rarity nodded. " *Ahem*, well said, Rainbow Dash. Hmm… It is difficult for me to express weakness, to admit my doubts, or feelings of helplessness, so please bear with me if I appear to prevaricate." The white unicorn drew in a deep breath before continuing, "There is no plan that has ever survived the field of battle, we must adapt or perish. Being well informed can be an advantage, but we cannot expect to know everything. A bit of perspective, a little distance, can be the most important thing."

She chuckled, wincing. "Before I begin rambling or lecturing, allow me to cut to the chase," Rarity jabbed a forehoof out, pointing like a spear, "Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony, we release you from our animosity." She shook her head, "Frankly, hating you is a tedious waste of energy and plays into your desire for… well, your namesake. Instead, I choose to believe that you are a sentient being, capable of making choices. As Jacqueline has pointed out at length, true chaos has no loyalty to either good or evil. We choose to believe that there is something worthwhile within you, that you are someone worth redeeming, because there isn't one of us who couldn't do with a second chance."

Celestia reached a hoof out to smack the phantom form of the spirit of chaos, who was loudly producing snoring noises. " *Zzz* – wha? Oh, yeah, friendship is tragic, or whatever. Have your little symbolic victories, tell me allllll about how you're bloodied but unbowed, then see yourselves out, will you?" He made a brushing motion with his talons.

"...Which is why the citizens of Ponyville have volunteered to perform the grounds-keeping and other duties of upkeep upon this portion of the royal gardens, and to have weekly visits with the petrified spirit of disharmony." Rarity concluded, grinning.

"...what?" asked Discord.
"...what?" echoed Celestia.

"A most... generous offer, Rarity. Perhaps you could have mentioned this previously?" Luna mused.
"Oh, is there a problem with our civic minded gesture?" The white unicorn batted her eyelashes.
The blue alicorn weighed the idea, "Neigh, I see nothing wrong. Sister, what say you?"

"I…" the white alicorn's eyes slid sideways to the draconequus, his head shaking vigorously. She grinned from ear to ear, "It sounds like a fine plan. A very generous gesture."

"Splendid, then we have only one more thing to do today… which I most certainly did discuss previously."

"Oh, I remember." The sun princess grinned in anticipation.

Luna examined one of the large rectangular blocks the ponies were positioning, "and these produce sound?"

Rainbow Dash finished passing out microphones and nodded, "You'll see." She grinned, a twinkle in her eye.

The spirit of disharmony eyed the instruments being set up, "You wouldn't, you couldn't, you-you can't." Moaned the draconequus.

"Can and will." Jackie grinned, tapping a microphone.

Stands were set up, music and lyric sheets distributed. The orange mare had it on good authority from her family that Twilight could play the piano, but the lavender mare refused to have anything to do with a keyboard. While Vinyl oversaw the hooking up of the audio system, Octavia ran herd on the assembled musicians. Eventually, everything was set up and as ready as it could be.

"One, and a two, and a one–two–three..."

"Hey, don't write yourself off yet...

Music.

Author's Note

Wow.

I wasn't sure I would ever get to the end of this story. What a ride.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for reading all of it.
Without a reader, a story is only a collection of words.

You still shine, oh how you shine.

Ellipsis

noun \i-ˈlip-səs, e-\
1. a : the omission of one or more words that are obviously understood but that must be supplied to make a construction grammatically complete

b : a sudden leap from one topic to another
2. : marks or a mark (as …) indicating an omission (as of words) or a pause

Dot ...

Shining Armor shook his head, "No, that I understand, but when has Blueblood ever gotten anything meaningful right?" He knew there was no changing her mind. She was strong and independant, that was one of the things he loved about Cadence. Ok, he loved everything about her, but who was counting?

"He says he found something up past Stalliongrad. Honey, if there's any chance of finding…" Cadence paused her packing to nuzzle her stallion for a moment. "Honey, this is very important to me. You understand that right?"

"Of course I do." He said, "I just… I don't want you to get your hopes up and be disappointed again." He couldn't even imagine what it would be like if he showed up one day and Canterlot not only wasn't there, but there was no evidence it had ever existed.

"I know. But, I can't help it." She eyed her travel pack, "It will only be a couple of days. Then I'll be back and we can start writing the invitations."

Shining caught himself drifting into a goofy smile, and went with it. "Yeah, you go have your adventure, I'll just slave away here, writing the names of forty-third cousins on envelopes."

"Oh poor baby," Miamore Cadenza crooned, barely containing her laughter. "Have you written to Twilight yet?" She knew the answer from his guilty expression. "Sweetie, she's not going to have time to be your best mare if you don't let her know before-hoof."

The unicorn buried his face in the pillows, "I know, I know!" He rolled over, hooves flailing in the air. "Heh, if I hadn't been there when your aunt came back to Equestria, I bet her friends wouldn't even know I existed."

"So you've got two jobs while I'm gone." Cadence crooned, "Write that letter to your sister…"
Captain Armor looked up, "And?"
"And, work on relaxing a little. You are so high-strung lately."

"I can't help it, it just feels like we've been having it too easy lately. This would–" He caught the barest hint of a frown on her muzzle. "and… that's not a bad thing. OK, I'll work on relaxing a little." He got up to give her one last nuzle before escorting Princess Cadenza to the train station "I love you."

"I love you too. Nothing will ever change that."

... Dot ...

Every night for more than a thousand years, she had the same dream. Ivory stairs spiraling from a pit of utter blackness. Somewhere above she knew there was a silver doorway. Every night she climbed the steps, and yet she never reached the gate. Not since she had made a most terrible mistake.

In her heart, she knew that it would be possible to stop, to give up. Either to trudge back down, or throw herself off the sides. If she did so the dream would never come again, of that she was certain. Even if she were simply to try to fly up, her instincts told her that would violate the unspoken, unwritten rules of the dream.

For a long time it had been pride that had driven her. Then it had been a sense of penance. Neither of those seemed correct any longer, and yet she would not give up the dream. The conviction that someday she would regain the silver gate.

A dream unto a meditation, understanding why she had the dream was almost as important as reaching the end. Nay, more important. Her sister had accepted her. The ponies had welcomed her. She had friends once again. What was so important about a dream of climbing stairs now, when she had everything she had ever wanted?

Desire, that was her weakness. She had craved recognition and spurned the satisfaction of earning it. Of being purposeful. And so she had lost all purpose. And lost… something else. A sacred trust? She couldn't remember. In her dreams there was the ache of a lost memory.

There was one last pony she needed forgiveness from. To be complete, to be able to move forward once again. She had searched the waking world for this pony, and never seen a hint, never had any idea who it could be. And yet, there had to be something more, she knew there was something more.

Putting all the stars in the sky? Foal's play. They knew their business, and only the gentlest of nudges was ever needed. Bringing on the night, that period of rest and renewal? It was her calling, her duty, and yet history spoke of a time when no alicorn had been needed to bring either sun or shade.

Luna stopped. Was this all fruitless? Was she still punishing herself? If everypony else was willing to give her a second chance, perhaps she needed to forgive herself as well. 'Very well,' she said to herself and to nopony, 'I shall walk the next turn and then...'

It shone with a silver light, gentle as moonbeams. Beautiful in its simplicity, the Gate of Dreams stood open before the Night Mare. There was so much to do, but she was ready. Ready to once again take up the reins as the guardian of dreams, and she knew where she had to start...

... Dot

The pale yellow pegasus touched down, looking around until a tan stallion finally stepped out of the shadows. Another pegasus, he sported a mane of pastel blues, pinks, and greens in a motley – all cut to a regulation flat-top. The mare tossed her head, for all that her own short pink hair didn't move, it still expressed her impatience.

"I didn't think you'd actually show up." The stallion marvelled, not quite meeting the mare's eyes.
"Some of us have better things to with our energy than to waste it on grudges."

He shook his head, "Sun and Moon, you are still such a fighter–
"I came because you said you had something important to tell me, ~~Capt~~… Random."

"There are those who don't want you and your friends to succeed."
"Uh yeah, I'm kinda aware of that." The pink-maned pony glared openly.

"No," Random Sprinkles barked, "I don't mean individuals or even a small group. There is a conspiracy, stretching from the depths to the very top of Canterlot. They can buy, turn, or intimidate anypony – they get in and twist the very heart of a pony. Their soldiers are faceless, able to blend into any crowd, like perfect shadows."

The butter yellow mare nodded, "Alright, you have my attention. Do you have any proof?"

The stallion grinned, "They miscalculated, assumed that our 'history' meant I'd be up for betraying Equestria. I…" Sprinkles swallowed. "I've done a lot of things I'm not exactly proud of, but I'm no traitor." He began nosing into his saddlebags, producing photos, notebooks, letters, memos, diagrams…

"No, I suppose from your perspective you really believe that." She slid the goggles down over her eyes.

Random paused, "I can't ever possibly make up for the Tartarus I put you kids through, but I am proud of what you've accomplished, Fluttershy–

The yellow pony chuckled, "And I suppose you really believed that as well." Transparent green flame flickered around the pony's form as she stalked toward the elder pegasus. "I'd say it's a shame you couldn't stick to the deal, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not going to enjoy this."

"Oh no. No, no, no…" Random Sprinkles screamed, for all that he knew the building was abandoned and there was nopony in earshot...

Author's Note

To Be Continued in 'A Game of Shadows'

For Want of a Nail

Everything hurt. "…stress to flight muscles, hairline fracture in the left ulna, and pinion loss; she's remarkably well intact for a filly traveling at over terminal velocity". 'Terminal? Isn't that like when you... die?' Opening her eyes was as much as Rainbow Dash could manage. A Mare with a stethoscope spoke to an uncomfortable looking Pegasus Stallion - Rainbow's flight coach... 'Zephyr uh-Something maybe?' Further back sat Fluttershy, looking distressed, and three idiots rounded out the gathering, mercifully lacking the smug smirks that had started this whole mess. 'Good, I couldn't give them the bucking they deserve right now if I wanted to.'

The tan one drew in a breath as if to speak. Fluttershy turned her head toward him. Exhaling quickly, he put his head down and didn't move again.

'He hit me! Son of a Buck rammed into me.' Grinning, Rainbow Dash slowed to regain control, 'hmm, my shoe's a little loose-' as her shoe fell, Dash saw Pink and Butter Yellow below. It was Fluttershy, plunging earthward. 'No, no no nonono...' far away, so close to the ground. Diving by instinct, a tight cone of air resistance threatened to keep Dash from reaching the plummeting pegasus. 'Oh... no... you... DON'T!' Rainbow cursed at aerodynamics. The laws of physics surrendered, Rainbow's contrail exploded into a halo of color - as she slammed into the ground.

"...ow Dash, can you hear me-" the Mare checked her clipboard and nodded "RAINBOW Dash!"

Jumping, Dash's awareness snapped back to her present. "Uh, yeah, that's me... what happened?" She addressed the adults.

"You crashed" the Mare replied flatly. She glanced and the Stallion.

"Ahem, yeah, Dash, you crashed into the ground, AFTER taking part in an unsanctioned, unmonitored race", the wide set eyes of the equestrian race almost let the Stallion glare at Dash and the three colts at the same time.

"But, but they were saying-".

Zephyr raised a hoof to ward off the oncoming justification, "hold on, you're not being punished - I think you realize why it was an irresponsible desci-" unexpected waterworks killed ‘Zephyr's’ scolding.

"She coulda died, I, I wouldn't have even noticed if I hadn't lost my shoe... and, and, and... nopony would have found her, and I let her fall - hay, maybe I even knocked her off in the first... I'm a bad-". 'Pink', 'oomph', and 'hug' were the three thoughts that interrupted Dash’s diatribe.

"I'm ok, it's ok," neither adult moved to stop Fluttershy as she gripped Rainbow's hoof between her own, whispering in a quiet clear voice. "You saved me, I thought I was going to hit the ground and you shot out of the sky - you hurt yourself trying to help me; nopony can say you're a bad pony for doing that."

Zephyr(?) scratched the back of his head as he let out an awkward chuckle, "all things considered, you have talent. With hard work and training, you could be an amazing aerobatic racer-"

"I.HATE.RACING!" Dash found the energy to sit up, "I hate it! Right now I don't even care if I never fly again", Fluttershy gasped and Rainbow relented. "Look, I can't... I don't, can we not talk about this right now?"

"Actually, I'm going to have to insist you not." the Medical Mare interjected, "this is more stress than I think is good for an injured filly to deal with. You can see that she is alright, and I'm afraid we won't know how long her convalescence will take - a month at least, those fractures mean she will be wearing a cast even after that. Now if you all will please follow me..." the voice trailed off as all the uninjured ponies were led out of the room.

Elsewhere, other fillies faced formidable oppositions of their own.

"A ROCK!? This can't possibly be my destiny! What's the deal horn?!", working herself into a state, the white unicorn filly glared at the big rock, daring it to show any redeeming feature - anything at all. It remained a rock, a big, dumb, ugly, stupid, and middle of nowhere rock. She gave it a buck, but only hurt her own hoof. Tears threatened.

"Radcliff, is that you - oh, hallo child." A khaki colored mare in a canvas coat, sensible boots, with a coal black tail climbed the lip of the slope, saddlebags clanking with tools. A sturdy parasol cloaked in emerald magic implied a horn under her sunhat. The clothing was sensible in the unrelenting dry heat and managed to convey an austere sense of style. The filly shook her head and tried to banish design considerations from her thoughts; 'Fashion has failed me... has...' "Oh, dear, yes, let it all out. I'm Amelia, by the by, and you ... look to be a long way from home."

"Dash it all, Hoofbody! Do you have to go racing into the jaws of danger at every conceivable opportuni-" the tall brown earth stallion in a stained and tattered cotton shirt seemed paralyzed by the foal’s tears - and the Mare's iron glare. "I... that is to say..."

"Augh, Mareson! Another shirt ruined! By Celestia herself you are anathema to clothing... Why did you bring the cart with you?"

Shocked back into sensibility, the stallion replied, "Oh, well, it... seemed like I'd need it for... deuced strange now that you put it to me, yes." He nodded towards the calming filly,"I suppose we shall be returning to Canterlot a little ahead of schedule then, Amelia?"

"It is the only decent thing we can do." Producing a kerchief to catch the last tears, the Mare addressed the Filly "Shall we try this again? My name is Amelia Hoofbody and this is my associate Radcliffe Mareson, we are pleased to make your acquaintance"

"R-rarity"
"Hwhat? is she asking-?"
"No, Radcliffe, I rather suspect that's her name"

"Oh, well then, jolly good. I say, young filly Rarity, do you know where your parents might happen to - oh no, please, you needn't start crying again!"

"I don't know where I am! I just wanted to find something, and then my horn, and I've been drifting for hours, days maybe - it was hard to tell - and when it finally stopped I was here and I" *hiccup* "I thought I would find my destiny, and maybe earn my cutie mark, and then it was just a huge rock, and that horrible shirt, and dirt EVERYWHERE, and there's no conceivable way I'd make it home in time for the play, let alone have time to fix the costumes," the words tumbled out. Regaining some measure of composure, Rarity looked up at the Mare Amelia, "Where am I?"

Eyes gleaming, the Mare explained "My associate and I are Archaeologists. This is the Valley of the Pony Kings, a site of great historical import in the early Pre-Classical era. We were searching for the Temple of the Sun - an ancient structure that may have marked the beginning of worship for the Great Pony Sisters," as the Stallion rolled his eyes, Amelia glared at him, "we have so far been unsuccessful and were packing up to leave. We'll take you to Canterlot with us, and from there I'm sure we can get home, safe and sound." Clear confidence radiated from the Mare’s smile.

'Canterlot!' Rarity's mood improved considerably. 'Now this whole adventure almost seems worth it somehow, but why do I still feel like something important didn't - no, I don't care, I challenged Fabulosity and it failed me; maybe it's time to look beyond fashion for my destiny... if only to see what I might have missed. CANTERLOT!' She giggled as she trotted after the Archaeologist Ponies.

"BBBFF?"

"Twiley! C'mere, I heard about... what's up?" the purple pony exuded as much determination as her filly frame could hold.

"Remember when your Guard application came in?"
"Of course, listen don't-"
"What was that other thing you were trying to do?" the unicorn filly was not going to be sidetracked.
"Are you talking about the Canterlot Civilian Conservation Corps?" Shining Armor was lost.

"Yeah, do you still have the application form?", Twilight asked, eyeing the conglomeration of paper and pens that constituted her brother’s desk.

"Right over... here it is. But talk to me sis, how are you?", Shining made one last attempt to steer the conversation.

"I'm, you know what? I'm ok - I'm not happy, but the world didn't end. They're not making me go back to m-magic k k... to my old school; Mom and Dad aren't disowning me."

"Well, that's a remarkably quick recovery", the adolescent colt playfully mussed his sister's mane, letting his breath when he realized he’d been holding it.

"I think I built it up in my head, a lot. I think I spend a lot of time in my head… Everypony's leaving; it feels like I'm standing still, you're going to be a guard, Cadence is going off to do princess things, and I'm too old to talk to Smarty-pants anymore. What if studying isn't helping me with my life?" Twilight's expression darkened," It hurts when I say that - but it doesn't fill me with terror like it would have before... and I think I need to explore what that means, maybe..."

"Maybe set hoof outside a library?" Twilight's glare made Armor raise his forehooves reflexively, "hey, c'mon now... you remember humor, don't you?" He returned to the subject of the conversation, “a-are you sure about this? I mean I'm all for you getting outside your shell, but you shouldn't just make huge decisions while you're upset, -"

"I'm NOT UPSET!" Twilight helped Shining back onto his hooves, embarrassed by her outburst "Eh heh heh hee... look, I studied, I practiced, I think I gave myself a pony migraine practicing channeling, and I still had No idea what I was in for with that test. It would have taken some sort of improbable miracle for me to be able to hatch... where did they even GET a dragon egg..." shaking her head, Twilight returned to her train of thought, "what I mean is, my encyclopedic knowledge of scholastics did nothing to help me. Maybe, maybe I need... what do you call learning something from physical experience without referencing pertinent study materials?"

"Wha-um," Shining’s brain floundered "do you mean ‘practical experience’?"

"Yeah, that. Also," she scuffed her hoof along the ground, lowering her head," I don't like how I reacted. Sure, I failed. I HUMILIATED myself in front of educators from Equestria's premier school of magic. But, that's just it: I humiliated MYSELF. It wasn't the test, I got so worked up they had to have somepony carry me out of the room. I don't like that about myself. It got me thinking, I've gotten worked up before, and after somepony gets me straightened out I'm ok. Well, that's the last time I'll do that, I say, SURELY next time I'll feel it coming and just let it go. But I don't, maybe won't. Argh, I'm frustrated with my frustration!"

"Ok, sis, here's the form. Just, make sure you talk to Mom and Dad, ok?"
"Ok, thanks for listening Shiny"
"Any time squirt, any time"

"Please, something, anything other that rocks - I just can’t take it anymore - this isn't how it's supposed to happen!" Rocks remained rocks, the sky remained clear and plain, and a pink pony remained... flat.

The day ended, a night passed, the new day dawned, and came to an end. A pink filly approached her austere brown elder. "Father, I would speak with you".

Clyde Pie turned to his youngest child, "Speak as you would, Pinkamena".
"I find myself... unhappy"
Confusion visited the older Pie's brow, "Unhappy? Have you had unpleasant words with your sistren?"
"Neigh Father, it is no fault of Inkamena or Blinkamena's - I am unsettled in myself, a sort of weariness."

"Indeed? Does the work tire you? Perhaps you feel a cold oncoming?", he searched his daughter’s visage for a clue to her unrest.

"Neigh Father. It is my spirit that feels... I," she lowered her head and mumbled, her reply rendered unintelligible.

"Words worth speaking must be said aloud. Repeat yourself that I may understand your pain, child." Concern and frustration wrestled upon parental brow.

The filly drew in a great breath, "I... am tired of rocks". The silence was deafening. "I-" a hoof raised to silence further speech.

"I shall speak with your Mother; we shall see what is to be done. Wash up and go to bed". Tired of rocks, how could a Pie even say such a thing? The stallion went in search of his wife, heart heavy for the disharmony he sensed coming.

“Cock-a-doodle-doo…", 'Mnope, it don’t help. I was so sure I’d find something when I came here, and now I was sure I’d find something looking out this window. Heh, wonder if my moral compass is broken?'

"Jacqueline dear, what are you looking at?"

Applejack sighed, "nothing Auntie Orange, nothin' a'tall."

"Dear, you simply must work on that accent of yours - it is an unfortunate truth of this world that you will first be judged by what other ponies see and hear of you."

'Y'mean what they kin find ta' ridicule?' Another sigh, 'this isn't what I imagined at all. ... but I can't just leave, that'd be insulting Aunt and Uncle. It'd mean I put Granny Smith an' Mac through trouble for no good reason. No, I came here, an' I have to find something about Manehattan that fits me, or I'm neither an Apple nor an Orange!'

The urban mare looked at her niece. She looks so much like Abigail at that age, I just know she’ll be a wonder wherever she ends up. Is she really happy here, or am I just projecting my hopes? “Perhaps I’ll show you a few of the… downtown amusements? All work and no play as they say."

“That would be nice I’m sure Auntie", ‘It's funny, I can feel the bridge of my nose when I talk like this.' “I’m fine … no, no I’m not. I looked stupid last night – how was I supposed to know fancy folk wouldn’t even know what a rooster is?" 'Well, this is gloomy,' “ Hay, if they don’t know chickens, how do they know how to cross a street?"

“Ah hahaha… you are such a gem. Don’t be embarrassed by your upbringing, Mother is the strongest and most honest pony I have ever known, keep the strength your family gave you and you will find the confidence to fit into any grouping you find yourself in."

“You know what? Thank you Aunt Orange, I think that’s just what I needed to hear. So what is this 'Poney Island' I’ve heard about?"

"Oh dear… "

Her first response was to laugh, she couldn’t help it. It started as a giggle, little more than a tickle in her throat, but it progressed to a guffaw and then she couldn’t even stay standing. She knew she should stop, knew this was inappropriate, but it was just too bizarre. Fluttershy was helpless before the absurdity of it all.

An irate blue filly, half mummified in stretch bandages did her best serious scowl. “Flutters, I’m serious, I think you need to try out for the cloud and sky team. You obviously need more practice, but I think you could be a good – hay, a Great – flier given half a chance". 'Great, now she’s laughing even harder… I didn’t want to, but I’ve got to get her to take me seriously.' Her expression smoothed, only her brow expressed her determination. “Besides, you owe me."

And as quickly as that, there was nothing to laugh about. Fluttershy rolled into a defensive crouch, tears brimming as she looked to see if this was the scene she had dreaded for a week now. "I, I know it was my fau-"

“DON’T FINISH THAT SENTENCE." 'Oh gosh, oh gosh, how do I do this?' Rainbow’s mind raced in several directions at once, “The race was a mistake. Putting you right in front of us on that tiny cloud was a mistake. Those were my decisions, and I was wrong…" 'keep it together,'

“You can’t accept responsibility for my mistakes, or bad luck. But… I can’t help you right now. Eventually those idiots are going to get over their sense of guilt, or some other punk’s gonna think they can push you around or laugh at you." 'Careful, careful… ' “You know how you feel when you see me like this?" Rainbow gestured with her restrained wings, “That’s how I feel when people hurt my friends. You, I don’t know. Look, it’s not like you invite people to pick on you, but you make it so Easy for them." Rainbow’s expression was a plea for understanding.

'I, I won’t cry. She can’t understand how much it hurts to hear her say these things.' “I-I’m sorry. I’m just no good at flying." 'How could I be? Every time I try to practice people laugh at me.'

“Hey, Shy? Please, look at me. I was practicing all the time. Hay, you know I was. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do anything besides the basic exercises. How can you know if you’re any good if you don’t even try?"

'You don’t see at all, do you?' “I… can’t. Everypony laughs at me. They always do, whenever I try. They can tell that I’m no good-“

“Buck them" the words slipped out, but Rainbow wasn’t embarrassed. “If they wanna laugh, they’re idiots. We’re all foals here, if they’re stupid jerks, don’t listen" Dash waved her hooves to interrupt Fluttershy’s objection. “No, really. It’s like… well ok, like a cloud. You can pass through it, like air, or you can treat it like a wall. It’s as solid as you choose to let it be." Confusion was reflected on the yellow pegasus’s face, “the taunts, the insults. They can be like air, stupid, noisy air you wouldn’t want to stay in, or they can be as hard as… as… the ground."

“Please, stop talking … if that’s ok with you. I don’t understand what you’re saying, but I do understand that this means a lot to you, for some reason. So… I’ll do it … somehow."

“That’s great! I already talked to the coach, he’ll let you practice when there’s nopony else out there, so you can get your strength up. I really think you can do this."

'Well, that makes one of us. But I’ll try, I can’t let my friend down.' Fluttershy didn't realize her face had become a mask of determination, so she thought her friend’s smile was just relief. Now that the confrontation was over, Fluttershy looked around the hospital room and noticed the pad of paper stuffed under the covers at the end of Rainbow Dash’s bed. “Oh, what’s this? … If you don’t mind my asking?"

“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all, really. Hehehe" Rainbow’s words weren't enough to stop her friend from uncovering the drawing pad and starting to flip through it. 'It's not my fault – it's sooo boring here! So boring that if the nurse hadn't finally thought to bring her the crayons and paper, I might have had to, ick, read something – or count all the holes in the ceiling… again.' With nothing much else to do, she’d ended up drawing a lot. She drew all the stuff she could imagine – there really are only a limited number of times you can draw the Wonderbolts without each picture looking the same, then she started drawing everything in the room, and then…

“I said, I really like some of these. Oh, did your hearing get hurt when you… crashed?"
“Huh? No… why?"

“Well, it just seems like you don’t hear ponies sometimes – I mean, that’s what it seems like, if that isn’t to harsh of me to say."

“I guess I’m just spending a lot of time in my head. Not something I do on a regular basis, you know? I’m more of an action mare."

“Oh, I hadn’t noticed. What, why are you staring at me?"

“I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve every heard you be sarcastic." Rainbow raised a hoof," for the love of the Sun, please, please don’t ruin it by saying ‘oh, I’m sorry’".

“Ok, sor… so, I was noticing you use a lot of color in your pictures. It’s … nice." Fluttershy’s eyes widened,"oh my goodness, I’m so sorry Rainbow – I completely forgot why I came to see you today, I have your homework. The doctor told the teachers that you’re well enough to start studying again, even if you can’t do the physical work yet."

'Ugh, you could have kept that forgotten.' “Thanks Shy; maybe I can keep banging my head against this math until one or the other gives out."

“Oh, um, Rainbow Dash?"
“Yeah, why do you look so serious? What’s up?"

“It would help me to try harder if I knew you were, too. I mean, if you want to. I mean I’ll go through the flight training if you give the schoolwork your best effort. I mean… no, that’s exactly what I mean." 'Stop it. Stop being so… wishy washy.'

“Is, is that a challenge?"

“…You know what, I think it is? What are you going to do about it?" Thought tentative, the smile was genuine.

Rainbow’s grin certainly was, “keep up your training and find out." Both friends laughed, it was nice to be able to do that again, freely.

For Want of a Rider vi/vi

For want of a Rider

part vi of vi

For want of Brilliance

Dearest Sweetie Bell,

This is your sister writing to you from school. I want you to know that I miss you and Mother and Father, but things are quite exciting here at school. We just learned about the Ancient Pony Philosopher Achi-meadows. Do you know what he said? He said that the principles of leverage apply at any scale, in fact he once quipped that given a large enough lever he could move Equestria... unfortunately the Demon Dischord took him at his word and Philosphy was introduced to the difference between theory and practice. You know what? I just realized that it's possible to argue that the Demon of Chaos caused the invention of science. Isn't that fascinating?

This letter is getting away from me, as it were. What I wanted to tell you is that The thing about leverage is it seems to apply to non-physical things too, and that's why I'm proud to tell you that you are now an Auntie! I can't wait for you to meet your Nephew, Heathspike Bell. Of course I will have to wait, since classes have just started and we won't be able to visit until the Harvest Break after Nightmare night.

There are so many wonderful things to learn here! I don't know where to start, but Miss Amelia studies ancient civilizations, so I may give that a try. The pictures of those ancient ponies are so curious, as though they wore and did things in completely different ways than us. Can you imagine? Ah, the Hall Mistress has called lights out in five minutes so I'll have to finish up.

All my love,
Your sister,
Rarity Bell

Rarity pulled her ears back and covered her face with her hooves. "-three different cases against the school itself as well as a personal threat from Mr. Heavy Tone to feed the Principle a 'Hoof Sandwich' if we even broached the subject of Sexual Intercourse with his daughter. As you can see this is quite a mess."

Her instructor, Subtle Glamor laid a hoof on Rarity's back and stroked, making soothing noises. When the filly had calmed, the Silver-blue mare turned to the school's board of directors. "Is it entirely necessary that the child be present for the recounting? She was excited and someponies forgot to check outgoing mail. I hardly see how that is her fault."

The headmaster shifted on his hooves, obviously uncomfortable. "Well, it is not... entirely necessary that Miss Bell be present for the actual recounting. But the principle that one's actions have consequences is an important lesson, certainly one she should learn in light of our... embarrassment."

'All I wanted was to share a little bit with my baby sister. How many ponies can claim to have a dragon for a Nephew?' Rarity schooled her features and stood more stiffly, prepared to accept whatever punishments the headmaster felt she deserved. 'I will not bring disgrace on either my Family or my School.'

"With all... due respect. I have to tell you that what I see is a bunch of old ponies that have been caught in an embarrassing state and are looking for somepony to blame - preferably one who can't fight back!"

"Mrs. Glamor! This is highly irregular!"
"Sir, your tie is irregular. This ... witch hunt is downright obscene."

Somepony had the sense to usher Rarity out of the room as the adults raised their voices and began shouting in earnest. Outside in the hall was a blue unicorn filly with silver hair, pushing a conical hat around the floor. Rarity trotted over to investigate. "Hello, what are you doing?"

"What am I doing?" the blue filly asked, turning around and unceremoniously sitting on the floor. "That is not how one introduces themselves. Give me your name." She would have sounded imperious if her voice wasn't two octaves too high.

"My name is Rarity Bell, how do you do?" The other filly seemed to be waiting for something, "and... you are?"
"Trixe Glamor, mistress of the sorcerous arts!" She managed to send off a sparkling light that spun in on itself, Rarity found herself clomping in applause.

"Ooh, that was pretty. All I can do is move things and find things... sometimes."
"Well, I intend to become the Greatest Magician in all of Equestria, so I suppose it will be my duty to assist you in learning more of the 'mystic arts' so that I may usher in a new age of Renaissance Magic." she smiled earnestly and shifted her posture slightly, "S-so, how was that?" her voice was much more pleasing when she wasn't trying to be bombastic.

"Beg pardon?"
"I'm trying out for the school play, I want to play the powerful Wizzard who eventually saves Turtle Land."
"Th-there's a school play?" 'You don't have to get involved, keep it together.'
"Of course there's a school play! They have one every year. Last year they put on 'The Orangutan Librarian' and ponies came from all over Canterlot to see it! I'm from Hoofington, but I know that all the important ponies spend time in Canterlot." A thought seemed to occur to the blue filly, "where are you from?"

"I, err... Ponyville." 'Well, it was nice having a friend, while it lasted.'
"I don't think I've ever heard of Ponyville! What's it like, tell me." She scrabbled right into Rarity's personal space and pleaded, "tell me!"

"Well, the first thing that catches your eye is the town hall..." she began recounting details as the... her friend? As her friend took all the information in raptly.

"He doesn't do much, does he?" Trixie seemed disappointed, glancing at the ball of emerald and purple scales. She caught what she was saying and backpedaled quickly, "he... he's got your mane?"

"Oh, ho hoho... don't be silly, I adopted Heathspike. And yeah, he doesn't do much, he's a baby dragon." Rarity beamed at the hatchling dragon.

"S-so your Dad played Hoofball? My father is an accountant." She sounded like she was chalking up numbers on a mental abacus and coming up short on her side.

"Well, yes, but he retired some time ago, almost five years. I don't even remember when he was an active player."
"Still... Oh, I can show you the special spot I found!" Trixie's enthusiasm returned with a vengeance.

There was a view of the castle, that was nice, but Rarity didn't see what Trixie found so exciting about this spot. And then the Sun started to descend, and she saw the pony standing on the balcony visible from the fillies' hiding spot. The tall, regal, pure white pony - larger than a typical adult pony - whose Ethereal Mane couldn't be mistaken for anypony else. Rarity watched in rapt attention as the solar princess ended the day and called forth the Moon to begin the Night.

She turned to her friend, water at the edges of her eyes. "I don't know what to say, thank you Trixie. This was wonderful. The Princess!" Trixie nodded, grinning like as to cause the top of her head to fall off.

Dearest Sweetie Bell,

It is I, your sister, writing to you again - a little wiser in the arts of discretion now. I know you can't really understand these letters yet, but I want you to be able to go back when you're older and see that I have always loved my little sister. I'm starting my second year now, and this year we start studying actual spells! As you may know, the difference between a Unicorn's Special Talent and a spell is that all Ponies have a talent, but not all Unicorns can learn spells, and the number and kind they are capable of learning are limited by their Special Talent.

The teachers are divided about what exactly my special talent is, my Cutie Mark being subject to a great deal of interpretation - but what they do know is that I earned my 'Mark through a great burst of Magical Power so I have the potential to be able to learn some powerful magic. I ... just have to keep studying all the subjects so the teachers can see what I'm going to excel in. It feels as though I'm being presented with a sumptuous buffet of rich choices, although I do understand that it won't exactly be Me choosing, it will be my Inner Self and it has already chosen, I just get to learn what that decision was.

In the meantime I have been extending my research into the past. The things ponies in the past thought, and wore and did are all fascinating! I mean, we know now that a lot of what they thought was wrong, that Love and Friendship and Harmony are the most important principles, but nopony had thought of those things yet, so they didn't know any better. In any case, as I know more, you will know more.

Your loving sister,
Rarity Bell

She felt a sinking feeling in her chest as Trixie approached her, placement scroll clutched tightly in her magic. "S-so, how did it go?" Rarity tried her best to sound chipper, up-beat, hopeful even.

"Why don't you tell me, mistress of the Oracle?" Rarity winced at Trixie's harsh tone.
"You do realize I never tried to out-do you? I'm here to learn, to improve my prospects. I-I could care less about prestige, and I don't think I'd accept an Accredited Position if they offered me one."

"Argh! That's my point! You don't care! What good are you to me as a rival if I feel no fires of competition? I work best with a foil, you know this to be true!" Since she had joined the Drama Club she had been throwing theatrical lines into her speech incessantly.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just... No - you know what, I'm not sorry." She pulled on her best haughty scowl. "My natural talents just show through better than yours. If you're going to catch up darling you'd best start getting up an hour earlier." 'You want a rival how's th-'

Trixie's face had crumpled into whimpering incomprehension. The tears brimming in her eyes seemed to embarrass her further. Without another word she turned and fled. 'No! It was an act! You said you wanted...'

"Trixie? Trixie! Trixie... oh, Trixie..." 'that was a lever I should not have pulled.'

Leverage, it was the principle upon which the world moved. The art was to find the right fulcrum and to apply even pressure. In fact, it was so easy to shift things that Rarity had begun to cultivate the art of not applying pressure, of letting the world slip over her. Certainly when she was not engaged with the world she couldn't cause damage to other ponies. She practiced in private because she was afraid of her own power.

She was up to seven ponies worth of mass, in as many as twenty-five separate pieces, although if she went above seventeen she started sacrificing some fine control. Her divining spells were less likely to be harmful, but she had learned the hard way to be very, very careful in her wording.

It had taken six months of pleading and groveling, and an intervention by Trixie's mother - no longer Rarity's instructor - for Trixie to take her friend back into her graces. It was never the same afterwards, something precious had gone out of their interactions, but at least Rarity could protect Trixie from herself - for the most part.

Trixie had thrown herself into drama and psychology, with a minor in stage magic. At first Rarity had found this encouraging, until she realized that Trixie was trying to find a way to replace raw magical talent with flash. The realization had been further prompting for Rarity to withdraw further into the world of her studies.

She had almost missed it. Her head stuck so far into a book, she hadn't really paid attention when Trixie started picking a fight with the transfer student Blue Flame. They had declared a magic duel on the school stage. Since it was taking place on the stage, Rarity had assumed it was some sort of stunt the two had worked out before-hoof.

The blazing orb of blue fire that had been lobbed was no prop. The short notice had meant Rarity had required a huge outpouring of magical energy to stop the spell in it's tracks. 'Interesting that energy requires so much more effort than matter for me to manipulate.' After grabbing the fireball and squeezing it until it extinguished itself, she had caught up both participants before they had the presence of mind to set up proper protective wards. Blue Flame she had flung into the school fountain, effectively putting a 'damper' on her offensive capabilities for the moment.

She had then turned to her 'friend', and unleashed all the rage that her worry had caused her over the self-same friend she took it out on. "Are you quite satisfied with yourself? How many ponies would have worshiped your half-burnt flank, I wonder?"

"Release me this instant! This is intolerable." Raged the helpless unicorn.

"No, what is intolerable is that you feel threatened by anypony else having even a bit more special about themselves than you. That is Not tolerance." She knew she was overstepping her bounds, but she wanted to push this lever far enough that Trixie would never make her worry for her safety like this again. "There is nothing wrong with not being above average. You say it."

"W-what!?"
"There is nothing wrong with being average, I want you to say it. Now."
"B-but a pony's special talent is the thing that raises them above aver-"

"Yes, it raises them above average, just like everypony else. Tell me, Trixie dear. Your father must have discussed mathematics with you. When an entire population has spikes in their readings, what happens to the average of that population?"

"It, the average increases but-"

"Indeed it does, so to say that everypony has something that makes them above average. Well, that would be impossible wouldn't it, Darling?"

"W-well in the strictest sense of the word yes that would just be the new... but the Spirit of Excellence that-" Just a slight increase in pressure, not even enough to make her breathing any harder, but she noticed, oh she was sure Trixie notice when she Squeezed.

"So, is there anything WRONG with being average?"

"No. There is nothing wrong with being average." Victory did not have any savor when it came with a side of humility for her only friend - but she was doing this for Trixie's benefit, the pony had no sense of self-preservation.

"And, statistically speaking, the average of your average in magical aptitude, what would that be? Hmm?"

Trixie's eyes pleaded as her mouth began to move. "A-average. Higher in illusions and lesser in healing, but effectively... average."

"And there's nothing wron-" The dull sound of her head being struck was a distinct 'thwock!' noise.

"What do you think you're doing to my daughter!?" Screamed an enraged mare. The painful distraction made Rarity lose her hold on Trixie, who was currently floating over the Cymbals in the Orchestra Pit, so the resulting crash was far more cacophonous than it really had any business being. "I trusted you! How Dare You Harm My Baby!", silver-green light enveloped the white unicorn, hauling her cruelly into the air by her neck.

"Stop."
"Did my child ask you to stop?"
"Tried to stop, her."
"Speak up, or are you not as confident when you're not the one causing fear!?"

"Tried to stop... duel, fire... ball." This was bad, she was losing air rapidly. She needed a fulcrum. Not one big enough for the world, but large enough... there. "Please." One last appeal, so witnesses could say she gave the teacher a fair chance.

"Oh no you don't deceiver, you're staying right there until the authorities arrive." She was obviously out of her mind, which made the next part harder, but self preservation trumped most principles.

Such wonderful, beautiful chandeliers the school had. Suspended by an ingenious set of wires so thin they seemed non-existent, like magic, really. One break in the right place and... The crash drew whatever faculty weren't already on their way. The horrible pressure on Rarity's neck was released and she sucked in a lungfull of air before catching herself in her own magic and setting herself down gently. 'I'm sure they won't mind if I rest for a moment before explaining the situ...' She collapsed, spent.

"Upon examination of the sworn and warded testaments of no less than twelve students and three gardeners, we find that Miss Rarity Bell was both justified in her defense of her fellow student Trixie Glamor, and caused no lasting harm to fellow student Blue Flame. She may have been in error speaking to Miss Glamor, but did not cause her any harm and may have prevented a further escalation of magickal violence."

"Educator Subtle Glamor was unfortunately unable to correctly asses the situation when she arrived to see her daughter, the aforementioned student Trixie enveloped in Levitation Magic and in obvious distress. Her response was wildly inappropriate for an educator of her caliber, and while this council makes no judgement about the actions of a mother attempting to protect her child, we do find that she gave Miss Bell cause to fear for her life."

"That being the case, this special council finds the accused, Miss Rarity Bell to be blameless in the maiming of former Educator Subtle Glamor." The ruling held no joy for Rarity, she felt no sense of vindication. 'The difference between legal 'right' and moral is large indeed.' She left the courtroom without making eye contact with anypony. There was nopony there to meet her - at her own request her family wasn't to be informed of the event until after a verdict had been reached. Though irregular, the request had been honored considering the Bell Family's previous behavior.

"Well, I do say your credentials are quite intriguing." The white unicorn with the well brushed blonde mane was smiling in what Rarity was sure he thought was a charming manner.

"I'm sorry, you are?"
"Prince Blueblood Heart. Charmed, I'm sure."

'The only thing I'm sure of is that I shall want a shower after this encounter.' Rarity scanned the room for exits.

"Well, I have certainly never had the pleasure. If you will excuse me I was-"
"Oh, don't mind me, I'm content to watch and contemplate the subject of pleasure." 'Ick.'
"I have no intention of ever minding you, Prince Blueheart."
"Hah, there is that wit you have become so famous for, Miss Bell."

"As of seven o'clock tonight that will be Junior Assistant Professor Bell." 'GO AWAY you horrible twit! I am not going to bed you just so you can brag about being able to stable any mare in Canterlot. I am perfectly aware of my reputation as the Ice Princess.'

Unfortunately, the Prince's Special Talent did not seem to include telepathy. "Perhaps you would consider-."

There were fulcrums aplenty in a colt in Stallion's clothing like this clown. She decided she could afford one more enemy among the many she had made - and she did mean Made. "The Heart family you say? I seem to remember that some eight-hundred years ago half the house was involved in some minor tiff called the, what was it? Oh yes Lunar Rebellion I believe it was. The other half of the house had been so torn by loyalties that they had not in fact joined the Rest of the court in putting down the Rebellion until such time as victory seemed inevitable. You know, there's this quaint theory that it was in fact this fiasco that gave the phrase 'Half-Hearted' it's name. Ah ha ... ha ha ... ha..." She deliberately pronounced each ha as unhumorously as she could.

The gobsmacked Royal fled with what was left of his dignity. 'Those who refuse to learn from history are vulnerable to their own assumptions my dear prince Blue-Tit.'

Dearest Sweetie Bell,

I do hope this letter finds you well. I heard about your accident and feel grateful you escaped with only a chipped tooth. You simply must learn to be more careful. The next time I come through Ponyville I shall give you a few lessons on Posture and Poise. My studies continue unabated, and I do believe that my theorem on the tracing of fabrics from burial sites as a way of proving theories of ancient trade routes may finally be showing fruit! Cross your hooves for me, dear sister.

I ran into Dr. Mareson the other day. He and Miss Amelia are doing well. He still won't tell me about that silly escapade you and their son had last Summer when I brought you on my internship, but I think everyone is in better humor now.

Oh, Heath has started learning to write. Perhaps the two of you can be pen pals! In the meantime I have begun poring through every fairytale I can find to keep his interest in letters aflame, as it were. I've been noticing an odd pattern in legends concerning the origins of Princess Celestia. Probably just an ancient affectation, certainly nothing to worry about. But, when I know more, you will know more.

Your Dutiful Sister,
Rarity
HI IM SPIKE, HELLO AUNTIE SWEET

What had begun as idle inquest into an oddity became an obsession for Rarity. There was hardly any material to go on; after all, of all the books to preserve from ancient times, how high on the list were children's stories? But over the course of years, as her education progressed, Rarity became convinced that the legends of Nightmare Moon were based in fact, that there had once been a Dark Alicorn.

More disturbing in some ways was a book of prophecies that included a set of astronomical events supposed to begin a process of undoing Ancient Magics all over the world. If the Mare in the Moon was in fact a mad Alicorn who represented Night the same way that Princess Celestia represented the Day, then there would of course have been powerful ancient wards placed to hinder the Nightmarish monster's escape. Those wards would be undone by the alignment which would begin in just a week, and continue for the next three years, increasing in intensity the waning of ancient dweomers and spells.

Modern astronomy had discovered the effect of Astrological Events on enchantments five hundred years ago, so modern wardings would be largely untouched - but the monsters of history had largely been defeated and contained long before then. 'I must ask the Princess if sufficient work has been done buffering ancient sites against this.' The hubris of questioning a goddess was easy to pull off when the safety of her family was involved. 'The Princess may not have any immediate concerns, any family she might have had are millennia dead and gone, their surviving descendants so watered down as to be nobility in name only. But my loved ones are alive, and I will do whatever is necessary to protect them. Subtle Glamor, I finally understand you, and though I know you could never do so, I wish I could ask your forgiveness.'

The first outrage had been that she had used Heathspike as... as a mailbox. The obvious discomfort the anti-digestion of a magic scroll had caused her little Spikey was enough for her to contemplate her own 'Lunar Rebellion', although she did have to admit she wouldn't have been able to implement a way of shifting the day and night, either one of which would be disastrous to be stuck with for the rest of eternity. Her conviction to remain a loyal subject was sorely taxed by the casual brush-off the reply entailed.

"The nerve! Musty old books indeed!" 'Calm down Rarity, letting her majesty get you upset only causes you to fall into her trap.' She had not planned for this eventuality, but she could still turn it around.

"Spike dear?"

"Yes, Rarity?" He had stopped calling her mother a year ago, 'it's for the best I'm sure, but I still miss it.'

"Take a letter, address it to the Royal Society of Records... I'm reconsidering their offer to document the Millenial Aniversary of the Summer Sun Celebration." Never mind that her best recommendation to the Society had been the fact that she had relatives in the area, and so would not incur costs for lodging, this was a lever she could use to move her setback, and perhaps the world.

"Captain Shining Armor, her Majesty Princess Celestia's Royal Guard and current envoy for preparations entailed in the organization of the Summer Sun Festival. Reporting. Ma'am. Miss Junior Assistant Professor Bell." 'Oh, so he heard about that?'

"Actually Captain Armor, it's Just Assistant Professor Bell these days, but I only pull that mouthful out when I'm harassing Royalty. You may call me Rarity." 'Do try not to bait him too far.'

"Ma'am, I'm not exactly comfortable fraternizing -"

"*Snort*, hahahaha... oh, please excuse me Captain Armor. As enjoyable a set of hoofcandy as we could debate you might or might not make, I am not interested in being tied down at the moment, and I'm certain your Marefriend would have something to say."

"Again! How do you mares always-! Er, I mean-"

"Oh, do indulge me this one thing. The answer to the question you don't want to ask is threefold. First of all you carry a lingering scent of perfume on your person, one that no self-respecting Stallion would use, but which would be enchanting on a flower-colored mare, if I don't miss my guess." 'Oh this is too much fun. Watch yourself Rarity, you cannot afford to alienate him this early.'

"Secondly, you know I have little use for show Royalty and feel defensive. The Sparkles have never exactly been upper crust, oh your family has a long and proud tradition of National Service, mostly in paperwork. So it can't be on your own account that you feel defensive, and the Princess has nothing to fear from little old me." 'So long as she stays out of my way.' "So your special somepony must obviously have rarefied blood."

"And?" Shining Armor grated, torn between feeling annoyed, amused, and curious. "What was your third clue?"

"Why, simply how irresistible you seem. Haven't you ever noticed how Mares seem attracted to a Stallion who already has a mate? It's a scientific fact." 'It isn't, but he doesn't know that.' The look of horror on his face said that clearly enough. "Oh do calm down Captain, I assure you your virtue is safe from me."

"Can we get back to the purpose of this meeting? It sounds like I'm going to need to spend more time packing Sexual Harassment forms than I originally anticipated." The remark would have been more antithetic if he hadn't been smiling when he said it. 'Oh good, he does have a sense of humor. That will be very helpful.'

"Do you have a sibling Captain?"

"Younger sister, is this more of your amature sleuthing? I was told you were a History Professor, not a Mystery Writer."

"Ahahaha... there may be hope for you yet, Captain. No, I was hoping this time. When a mare dodges a subject, it means there is something she hasn't figured out how to broach-"

"Not my problem, spit it out or I'm gone." 'Oh very good Captain Armor.'

"Aha, yes. Well then, I admire your honesty. Ahem, I believe that a Monster from ancient Children's Stories is going to be unleashed upon the world as the first of a plague of ancient evils which will seek to destroy everything that we hold dear. I believe that Princess Celestia for whatever inscrutable reasons is hiding the extent of her knowledge of such threats, and that her life may in fact be in danger. These events seem to be unnaturally focused upon Ponyville, and I would have a much easier time investigating them with official assistance." She drew in a breath.

"Unfortunately, the same reluctance I mentioned before has caused the Princess to discount my well researched and fully documented Solid Scientific Evidence, meaning that I am denied official channels. So, under pretense of supporting some stuffy society I come to you, to beg you for your help before everything we hold dear is swallowed in eternal night." To sell it, she batted her eyelashes shamelessly.

Shining Armor nearly fell out of formation laughing. "Hahahahaha ha... oh, Buck it, just call me 'Shining', Rarity. I like you, in spite of myself. Heh, eternal night." 'Should I feel this pleased that I have managed to lie by telling the absolute truth?' "Heh, we'll be departing tomorrow at oh eight-hundred hours. Pack lightly, we'll be back before you know it."

"Oh, one last thing Ca- Shining. My son will be accompanying us."
"Uh, Rarity, this isn't a trip for a colt to-"

"My adopted son is a dragon, and is probably more durable than you, Shining dear, with all due respect." 'Cel-Faust help me, you know I think I do actually have some respect for you.'

My dearest sister Sweetie Bell,

I'm certain Mother and Father have already told you, but I'm coming to town soon, and would love to see the filly you've grown into. Heath will be coming with me, I believe it's been at least a year since you two last met - and I assure you he is far better about controlling his hiccups now than ever before.

I will have some minor business to attend to, but all things being equal I should love to attend the Summer Sun Celebration with you. Have you had any more luck making friends since you last wrote? I do hope so, any pony that spent the time to get to know you would certainly have to see how wonderful a pony you are, just like I know it.

Also, please forget my attempts to find out about your little escapade - sometimes in my desire to see you safe and happy I forget that a mare's got to have her little secrets, so I shall respect your privacy on the matter.

Never forget how much you mean to me, my family
Your loving sister,
Rarity Bell

She ran as fast as her hooves would take her, Spike held on for dear life. "Gah! how could I oversleep!? Last night I thought worrying about the fate of the world would prevent me from ever falling asleep!" She failed to make the obvious connection.

As she slowed to a trot to cross a hoof-bridge, three ponies from her old school greeted her, tentatively. The Cream with Pink Haired unicorn in the middle cleared her throat, "Moondancer would like to know if you could attend her party tomorrow evening?"

'Argh! No, slow down. If the world is worth saving, it is because of ponies, not in spite of them.' "Actually, Moondancer*, I would love to attend your party, assuming that the sun ever rises again you may expect me anon." A cleared throat distracted her for a moment. "Ah, yes, I trust Spike is invited as well?"

"Oh, of course, Moondancer would never refuse the company of Canterlot's most adorable dragon."
"I'm Canterlot's ONLY dragon." 'Looks like somedragon is being a grumpy-butt.'

"Moondancer stands by her statement." All at once the inappropriate use of third pony speech reminded Rarity too much of - she had to leave, now.

"Un-until tomorrow then! Goodbye! Oh, excuse me Lyra, coming through!"

"Look, Professor, I know History is your best subject, but that doesn't mean you can ignore the present."
"Shining Armor? Do me a favor would you? Shut it." Neither Armor nor Spike stopped laughing until they were halfway to Ponyville.

Artwork by: Inspired_Light

To be continued in 'A minor variation, For want of a Battle: part i'

Author's Note

* The webcomic MLP Friendship is Tragic did this joke before me, and did it better.

A Variant Season, You Knew it was Coming

A Variant Season,

You Knew it was Coming

Jackie's head swung back and forth between the two of them in consternation. Confusion, motion sickness, and hope rounded out the emotions assailing her poor abused brain. A green flash was accompanied by a whistling pop, followed by crunching noises.

Rarity clucked her tongue as she wiped apple off the little dragon's mouth. Turning, she looked at her friend, "It looks like you have gotten yourself into a situation as well - care to tell me about it before Heath-" the dragon in question grumbled, "err, before Spike takes you on to the next one?" her tone betrayed more stress than her words let on.

Shaking her head back and forth, to clear it, Jackie thought she heard a cowbell somewhere. She decided that had been a mistake, the alcohol didn't seem to appreciate being sloshed around. "Well, it seems Vinyl here..." she waved vaguely in the direction of a gray earth pony, who rolled her eyes, "is upset 'cause she thought Octavia" Jackie started to gesture at the white unicorn, squinted and gestured back at the gray pony again, "was having the same kind'a financial troubles." She found her hat - had she really been sitting on it?

The orange earth pony continued, "That's why she agreed to rent a room with her, Vinyl and Octavia. I kin under-derstand not wanting to feel like 'a charity case, even from your friends..." Jackie smiled in embarrassment, "remember... remember when I didn't want to tell you gals about that bounty hunter? Ha... good times, which is to say terrible horrible things we survived, and any landing that quacks like a..." the story had gotten away from her again.

Rarity's smile slipped for a moment, "dear, we are on a bit of a tight schedule here. Why don't you just tell me what happened to get the two of them upset at each other... again?" She smiled a little more widely when all three of them shifted uncomfortably.

"After I helped Vinyl finish her shift as a bartender," Jackie gestured to the bar below the stage. "We came to see when Octy would be done wi' her set. An, an I mentioned the letter I got from my Uncle."

"Mr. Grove, if I recall?" Rarity smiled, trying to be helpful - and most certainly trying not to throttle her drunken friend.

"Yeah, see, he mentioned that Vinyl cashed out her music rights a while ago. And I happened to mention tonight that Octavia hadn't. Didn't, I didn't realize that she had not only Not told Vinyl that, but had let on that she was hard for cash too. you see, Vinyl was tryin' to develop a revolution in speaker technology, but th' gov'nment says it's too dangerous to use. Something about sympathetic harp-ponies or some such..."

Jackie made as if to continue her explanation, but Rarity caught her attention and shook her head. "Thank you, that will be enough to be going on with. You should go check up on Dianne, with all the stress she's been under lately." Rarity smiled encouragingly and put Spike on Jackie's back.

"I still don't understand how you think we're all going to switch places quickly enough to... hey, I recognize those." Jackie looked in fascination at the apple that Spike bit down on, before they disappeared in a flash of purple flames.

Rarity sighed in relief before turning to look at the two remaining ponies. 'A straight-forward problem? This will be almost relaxing.' she smiled to herself, "So, tell me ladies: are you familiar with 'The gift of the Magi'?"

Dianne sobbed, the kerchief the mule handed her used to loud effect as she cleared her sinuses. "And... it feels as though I am in at least two different parts - I have no idea what is truly myself and what isn't. I'm afraid to embrace what feels alien, but at the same time I feel a despair that drove me from my family home as a child if I do not try. Can you understand what it feels like to be two different things?"

The mule looked at her, and - not unkindly - deadpanned, "Miss, do you even know where Mules come from?"

As the pink pony gasped at her thoughtlessness a soft pop and flash of magic heralded the arrival of a baby dragon and orange pony.

The mule took it all in with an even expression, "looks like our conversation is about over. Francis bless you child, things are not as dire as you feel. Just remember, as a healer you need to keep your humor - or else you'll lose your patients."

Jackie was sober enough to catch the joke, and judging by Spike's groan he got it as well. She tossed the dragon over to the pink pony and smiled, "I think you're done here darlin', say hi to Dashie fer me, willya?"

"Lose your... wait did you mean my temper or..." she disappeared in a flash as the giggles started.
Jackie turned to the mule, "You alright, mister?"

The mule shrugged, "I'm fine miss."
"Can I offer you a cider?"

"Sounds nice, thank you."
"Where'r mah manners?" Jackie handed the mule a bottle as she ducked her head, "Mah name's Jackie, and you are?"

The mule accepted the bottle with a nod and a smile, "my name is Morgan. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"... the people. I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose-"

"You CHOSE a load of horseapples! All your piety about everything is a front for saying you want to take everything that's not nailed down! I don't care if you DO call me a socialist - hay, maybe we Need somepony like Hoof Marx, if only to shut jerks like you up!" Rainbow Dash had not been this angry in a long, long time. Urgh! how can he sit there and try to justify- The disturbing part was that the laughter started a moment before the flash of magic heralded the arrival of earth pony and passenger.

"Ahahahahaha... huh, huff... Rainbow, Jackie says hehehehe... hello. What's, what is going wrong here ehe heh hee..."

The bizarre sight of a giggling pink pony 'porting was enough to shock Rainbow Dash out of her rage. "Uh, got stuck talking to big business ponies, mentioned workers rights and 'general good' and this guy," she stabbed a hoof at the golden pony she had been berating a moment ago, "Mister Ayn Ryan, goes an' calls me a Communist. We've been arguing since then." Dash caught her breath and looked down, "I guess it's pretty stupid, really."

"My mother always explained stupidity as a course of action, not a personal description. Heh... I will take care of this." Dianne was now mostly in control of her humor, although a wide grin remained on her face. A thunderclap echoed from the skies above. Earth pony and pegasus looked up with concern. "I believe Fluttershy may require your help." As she gently hoofed Spike over, she caught Rainbow's eye again, "give them Tartarus." She smiled.

Spike looked skyward, "Uh, girls, are you sure this is a good idea? I can't"

Rainbow turned her head, nose to nose with the nervous dragon, she spoke in a level and quiet voice, "Spike, you will not fall. None of us would ever let you get hurt." Spike swallowed the knot in his throat and nodded.

"Is this all you are? You can't live just for other ponies! If you try to carry every load for them, what will they do when you're gone?" Spitfire sighed, there was no honor in this fight - working as a weathermare in Ponyville had certainly made Fluttershy a strong flyer, but she had no instincts for offensive flying against another pony. "This can all end. You have to accept two things. First, the Cloudboom will be weaponized, now that more than two ponies know how to perform one it is bound to happen eventually. The second, admit that you're not a leader of ponies. Give up on trying to be a white knight, there's are reason we don't have those anymore!"

"I never asked to be a leader, I don't want any credit. But I will not allow anypony to be hurt when I can stop it - none of them will fall!" She was tired, her wings hurt and she could barely hear. There was no giving up, there was no going home 'If I fail here, there won't be any home to go back to - I wouldn't be worthy of anypony.' Judging by the glimpses she was catching, Spitfire was going to try another round. She wasn't able to achieve a full Cloudboom on her own, but by combining the setup with her trademark flaming contrail she was causing enough damage already.

The air pressure next to her went strange a moment before Rainbow Dash and her terrified passenger materialized from nowhere. Rainbow took in her old friend's appearance, and all the anger she had thrown away came surging back. "Who?"

Fluttershy shook her head, "you need more than that, beating her physically is not the point. We have to convince Spitfire not to report the Cloudboom Maneuver to the Armed Forces before the Princesses." It broke Fluttershy's heart to watch the emotions cascading through her friend, she knew it was over when Dash's expression returned to anger. "Remember, underneath she's a good pony too..."

Dash nodded, handing Spike over, careful to reassure him that neither pegasus would drop him. The two vanished in purple flames.

The blue pegasus called out, "Yo, Spitfire? We got a problem here. There'll be plenty of time for rational discussion, but you picked a reaallly bad time to hurt one of my friends. Should we discuss that first?"

Twilight had her hooves over her head and was drawing in her breath to scream when she felt the teleport finish next to her. She leapt up, hugging Fluttershy while telekinetically grabbing spike, "Family, CRAZY, I think Cadence is drunk, Shining needs a kick in the flank, parents... well, I'll deal with that part later, reallygottagobye!"

Fluttershy stumbled as the teleportation took effect too quickly to equalize air pressure. She turned around to look at the three confused unicorns and sniffling alicorn. Sighing, she walked over and picked shining armor up by his uniform collar and looked over at the princess, one eyebrow raised. "Really?" the pink princess nodded hesitantly.

Fluttershy propped the guard on his feet, turned him around, and forced him not to lower his head. When she was sure neither one was going to fall over she stepped back and facehoofed. "Why don't you two just bang already? You fought, it happens. You get a second chance you be grateful, you hear me?" Having done as much damage as she could for the couple, Fluttershy turned to look at Twilight's parents with a smile... "I hear you two are concerned about your daughter's future..."

Twilight Sparkle and dragon appeared in a bathroom. Next to her was stressed looking white unicorn with a purple mane and a cutie mark of six blue diamonds. The purple unicorn raised an eyebrow, and the white one rolled her eyes, "What took you so long? He's been waiting out there for ten minutes."

"So what's the problem?"
"He's in love with her."
"He's what!?"

"Well, the start of it at least. He's convinced it's genuine. Please, can we skip the part where you ask me how I'm sure and we go through that awkward pause?"

"Uh, ok... oh, Oh... right. Look, none of us think of you like-"
"I get it. Let's sort out this mess first so I can slip into something more comfortable, I think I'm picking up some residual nag-ness."

"You are talking about one of my best friends!"
"I know."
"I'll...come back to that later. So I think we can still use plan three, just follow my lead."

"Whatever you say. Are you aware that the trees-"
"Later!"

Twilight pulled in a deep breath, more to focus her mind than for the oxygen. 'I can do this, it is the truth, even if we're presenting it in an odd manner, I won't tell any lies, I don't have any problem with this.' If that were true you wouldn't need to tell yourself to- 'Shut up.' Before she could talk herself out of it, Twilight used a blast of magical energy to throw the door open dramatically and stormed out. "Prince Blueblood? We have a few issues that need discussion."

"...so now that we've seen both sides of the issue, can the two of you simply calm down - at least for a short while?"

The other white unicorn and gray earth pony nodded, too tired to argue anymore. The other three members of the quartet watched quietly, knowing if they so much as snickered Octavia would never forgive them.

"Well, that is truly wonderful. Perhaps, after the two of you have had a little while to recuperate, you could perform one last song together to celebrate? I might have a suggestion." Rarity did her best insincerely innocent smile. The two mares looked at each other and shrugged.

"So then she said to her husband, 'honey, this one's eating the popcorn'!" Jackie collapsed in giggled, sitting back up so she could drink some more water, trying to clear her head as much as possible before trekking back inside. She looked back at the elderly mule gardener. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do for you, Mister Freemule? You've been awful generous with your time, letting me go on like this."

The gardener smiled and shook his head, "no child, you and your friend did enough giving me some company this evening. You know, other than Celestia, almost nopony ever comes out here to enjoy the garden itself."

Jackie considered that for a moment. "You know, that's a darn shame. I gotta go, but thank you for your time."
He just smiled, "anytime Miss Jackie, anytime."

Rand furrowed his brow, he knew he shouldn't even respond, that continuing this conversation was giving this... this upstart country hick more credence than she deserved. But the outrage was too great, "I'm sorry, did I hear you correctly? What in Equestria gives you the right to claim I am not a self-made stallion?"

"Simple, you did not give birth to yourself - I suspect. You are welcome to correct me on this point if I am mistaken." There was a murmur of chuckling from the surrounding ponies. "But, that is perhaps too vulgar for your tastes. You did not build the house you were raised in. You did not grow the food you were fed. You did not make the dishes and furniture and utilities that you either used or were used on your behalf. You did not build the school you attended, nor did you pay the ponies who educated you. You did not invent the arts and sciences you were taught, you did not create the ink you used and I doubt you gathered the quills used for your pens. You did not perform the medical checkups you recieved as a foal, and certainly did not develop the science of medicine used. You did not invent the language that facilitated all of these exchanges I have listed you -"

"Enough! Certainly I did not, but neither did the vast majority of ponies alive today. Why do you think I owe more than they do?"

"Why do you think you owe less?"
"What are you talking about? I pay my taxes-"
"begrudgingly"

"Nevertheless, I have certainly put an amount of money back into society that covers however much in resources went into my childhood-"

Dianne's eyes widened, "Oh, I see, and you have never again benefited from the existence of society since then? You live entirely on your own, make all your own clothes, never travel a public roadway, make no use of the town guard for your safety, nor any other public service?"

"I PAY FOR ALL OF THAT!" Ryan roared, furious. "I PAY AND PAY AND PAY!"

"My goodness, that does seem to be a great deal of money you are spending on the public good. How do you ever have time for anything other than working?"

"I own the business, the business the I started, the business that is funded by my own money, the business that employs hundreds of ponies in Canterlot alone, not to mention my subsidiaries all over Eqeustria!" he huffed.

"The business that uses public utilities, that employs citizens of the nation - many of them educated in the schools you begrudge the expense of, that enjoys advantages from the existence of society and could not exist without society. Is that the business you speak of?" She decided not to bat her eyelashes.

"You are twisting my words, you are saying that whatever I do it will never be enough!"

"I am saddened that you see it that way. What I am saying is that there is no repaying your debt to society, because all of us - at all times, owe each other the debt of our own existence. We cannot exist alone, and are dependent upon each other from the moment of our birth to the very last, and to those we leave behind for our legacy. You are owed as much as you owe, but there is no escape from it. A fish might as well reject water as being too restrictive."

The stallion shook with fury, seeking some response that would regain the standing he was sure he had just lost in the eyes of the ponies watching. And she turned away from him - from him, one of the most powerful of the Canterlot Elite!

Dianne turned back one last time, "do have a nice day, Mr. Ryan. Oh, and you are welcome."
The words escaped from him before he could clamp his jaw shut, "For What?"

"For the sunrise due in an hour. Your money, your power, your family, none of them would have availed you against Nightmare Moon. Please, don't consider it another debt... my friends and I were only too happy to ensure continued days and nights for every pony, every living being in the world... simply out of kindness."

"What the buck is wrong with you!?" Spitfire didn't know whether to scream in rage or horror, laugh or cry.

Rainbow Dash coughed - and immediately regretted it, it was no fun at all with bruised ribs. She hoped her ribs were only bruised. "Hey. You know what they taught us the first day in flight school?" Spitfire rolled her eyes at the blue pegasus, "taught us, the reason why we fall-"

"A little thing called gravity, by any chance?"
"We fall, so we can pick ourselves back up. I forgot that, for a long time. Ugh, still hurts."

"What in the mane of Celestia were you thinking?"
"That I couldn't really take on a Wonderbolt."

"Of course not, we may be trick fliers, but we are part of the Airforce. You'd never have stood a chance, even if you were in any kind of good condition."

Dash shook her head, slowly, "No, wrong couldn't. You ponies were my idols when I was a filly. Today you're still a shining example of what determination can do for so many ponies. I couldn't embarrass you like that."

Spitfire scowled, "there is no way you'd have outflown me."
"Wouldn't have to. Look in my saddlebag, left side, outer pocket- yeah there."
The Wonderbolt captain examined the small black metal object, like a 'T' with an arrowhead at the bottom. "What is this?"

"Grappling hook, 1,000 pound cable strength. I could have had you trussed up like a turkey. Almost wanted to when I saw what you did to Flutters, but we don't do that."

"So instead you make sure I can see you and go into a deadfall? That's insane."

"Maybe, but it was a calculated risk. If you were a good pony, you wouldn't let me hit the ground. If you weren't, I wasn't sure I wanted to live in this world anyway."

Spitfire's expression became as cold as ice, tears flowing regardless. "How dare you?"
Rainbow looked at her, confused.

The orange pegasus loomed over her, "HOW DARE YOU! What gives you the right to give up!? I fought Fluttershy because she is running herself into the ground! It's not 'strong' to do everything for those who are dependent on you, it is not liberation to make sure that ponies remain dependent on you for everything. We don't need living legends, we need ponies who will trust those around them to grow and improve!"

Grunting, Rainbow Dash forced herself into a sitting position. "Ugh, two things... maybe three. First off, if you really believe that's what she does, you don't know a thing about Fluttershy. If she pushes herself hard, it's because she knows the ponies working under her are inspired to do their best in return. If she pulls the extra slack, it's because she knows those she supports will come back as soon as they've recovered. She demands as much as she sees in anypony. She's already sent three members of the Ponyville Weather Team on to supervisory positions in other cities because she won't leave Ponyville for any other promotion. If she is strong, it's because she knows that all of us are behind her, that she doesn't have to hold back."

She flexed her wings and popped her neck before continuing, "Second, it takes two to fight. Flutters wasn't the one you were fighting, she was the stand in. You were fighting yourself. So yeah, the third thing? I know who won now. You do whatever you think is necessary with the Cloudboom - you're a good pony who's been put in a bad spot, I know you'll make the right call. One thing though?"

Spitfire was jarred by actually be addressed again, "what?"
"Can you give me a lift? Got a song I need to be part of, can't be late."

Fluttershy had herded the Sparkles away from the balcony as quickly as she ascertained that her first gambit had worked - possibly too well.

The discussion with Twilight's parents had been involved but interesting, and she had to take into account all of her advice for herself as well. All in all it had been an interesting discussion with many insights - she could only hope that the Sparkles paid any mind to it in the future.

As she turned to leave, Mrs. Sparkle 'Uh, Velvet, right?' called out, "Why, why couldn't she talk to us about this herself?"

Fluttershy cringed inwardly. This had been the hardest part, but the reason she had agreed to the insane plan in the first place - even if she trusted Rarity implicitly there was just something wrong about treating their personal problems like a mary-go-round. She made herself turn around and face the two of them. "Because she was terrified of disappointing you. She always has been. She is trying to change, but she needs you to support her, by showing her that she won't disappoint you simply by pursuing her own happiness. The stress, the panic attacks, the craziness, it all stems from her terror of disappointing the two of you."

"All we ever wanted was for her to be happy and secure."

"Then you have nothing to be concerned over. She will seek you out, in her own time." There was nothing else to be said - nothing else she could or would or had the right to say - so she left quickly.

"...and the things that I have discovered after that, I really feel as though I have become a different stallion. And that is why..." he kept talking, of course. Prince Blueblood had started a flood of words after Twilight and... Rarity had left the restroom, protestations of his devotion, examples of how he had become a 'new pony', and other such talk.

'He's not going to stop talking, is he?' It's not Rarity, it's his idea of her that he's in love with Twilight casually leaned over and slid a window open. A vine of morning glory crept up the wall, slid in through the opening, and slid to the floor, spreading off in several directions. The white unicorn stood by, head slightly down, avoiding eye contact.

As the unicorn prince drew in his breath to continue, a vine leapt from the floor and wrapped around his mouth - startling him badly. He cantered left and back in his panic, before using his magic to pull the non-resisting vines off his face. He looked around in a panic, but didn't see any plant-monsters around. The sound of a throat being cleared snapped his attention back.

Rarity's purple friend noted he had made eye contact and began talking, "Prince Blueblood Heart, I am Twilight Sparkle, and good friend of Rarity's. She has been... overwhelmed by your advances, and asked me to speak on her behalf - she didn't trust herself to speak her true feelings in this circumstance."

Blueblood readied a response to discard this ridiculous ploy, but the mare was talking before he could start, "I am a simple orchard mare, but in my spare time I act as the Bearer of the Element of Honesty - so mark my words and know that what I tell you is the honest truth: Rarity Bell is not interested in a romantic relationship with you. This has nothing to do with your worth either as nobility or as a pony, she is not interested in romance at this time. You should be able to respect her decision - it would be the 'noble' thing to do."

All that fancy verbiage to say 'no'. He felt stuck in the chest, affronted, sad, surprised, annoyed, numb, burning, cold, empty, overfilled, and ... relieved? He had much to consider, perhaps a slower approach was more advisable... he could consider such an idea while overseeing an expedition perhaps.

Twilight watched the prince walk away, lost in thought and barely perceiving his surroundings. She turned to look at the olive pegasus filly standing next to her and quirked an eyebrow, "Do you think it was something I said?" The filly chuckled and shrugged. The unicorn relaxed slightly, "So, do you want to come with us for the finale?"

The filly looked at her for a moment before shaking her head, "not exactly something a random face in the crowd would do, now is that?" The unicorn shrugged, smiled at her, and trotted off.

Rarity looked down at her orange friend, feeling a mixture of amusement, confusion, and impatience. "Jaquelin, hurry up, we are about to start." The earth pony had insisted on demonstrating a new dance step to some of the more drunken revelers, something she had learned from sailor ponies who had been far overseas recently.

Twilight looked through the sea of ponies who were glancing at the stage, wondering what had happened to the next waltz. For the life of her she couldn't see her brother out there anywhere. She glanced at Fluttershy, "where did my brother get to after you talked to him?"

The yellow pegasus turned bright red from ear to ear, "I-I wouldn't worry about it too much, he's probably going to be ... preoccupied for a while."

As if in sympathy, the purple pony's face became as pale as her friend's was now flushed. 'She can't possibly mean...' ABORT! ABORT! 20cc of Brain Bleach, stat!

Unfortunately Rainbow Dash had been listening, and she broke into guffaws, slumping into Twilight as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Ha... go Shiny! Right up there? I didn't think he had the... well, you know." Twilight shifted ever so slightly, letting her 'friend' fall to the floor.

The white unicorn limited herself to a few quiet chuckles, walking over to see how their pink pony participant was. "Are you ready Dear? If you're still feeling upset you can sit this one out." Rarity stopped, Dianne was smiling - not her smile of satisfaction at helping somepony, or her smile of 'this is a social obligation that I am fulfilling' smile - Rarity hated that one - but something more genuine, a thing rarely seen.

"I believe I am in fact looking forward to singing." She tilted her head to the side, considering the matter, "Yes, I like singing."
"Well whatt'yall just standin' around fer? If we're going to do this, it'd best be done now I say."

Rarity fought down the scowl she knew would just tell Jackie her teasing was working. Instead she brought up her own 'social obligation' smile. "Quite."

Vinyl Scratch had kept the tuxedo jacket and simply added her usual shades to the ensemble after artfully spiking her hair back up. She grabbed the microphone in a death grip and addressed the assembled ponies of the Gala, "GOOD EVENING CANTERLOT! We interrupt your regularly scheduled Gala for an exclusive performance, one night only, by the Elements of Harmony - here to talk to you about a subject near and dear to all our hearts: PONIES! Take it away girls!"

It had been surprisingly easy to convince the quartet to play something a little more modern. The pianist began pounding at the keys, and the others followed, creating a thrumming beat.. Bam bombom bam, bam bombom bam...

*(original lyrics by Tommy James And The Shondells)*

Here she comes now sayin' Pony Pony
Shake 'em down, turn around, come on Pony
Here to have some fun and feel all right now
Make Canterlot toss and turn
And I feel all right, yeah I feel all right
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) yeah...

'Cause you make me feel
So good, so good, so good
So fine, so fine
Have a real good time, well I feel all right
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah...

Well we can shake it shake it Pony Pony
Stop, drop, jump up and come on home yeah
Won't stop dancin' 'cause I feel all right now
Don't stop now come on Pony
Come on yeah, I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah...

'Cause you make me feel
(Like a pony)
So good, so good
(Like a pony)
Well I feel all right
(Like a pony)
Having fun, feel so fine
(Like a pony)
Yeah, and I feel all right
(Like a pony)
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah...

I love you Pony po-po-pony
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony, we all do
I love you Pony po-po-pony
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Feel all right, I said yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah

Wake it, shake it Pony Pony
Up, down, turn around, come on pony
Hey we're having fun and I feel all right now
Don't stop now come on Pony
Come on, I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ride your pony, ride your pony
Ride your pony come on, come on
Pony Pony
Feel all right, I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Gasping and laughing, six ponies staggered into Canterlot's premier doughnut shop. The proprietor, 'Joe' looked up at the bedragled and giggling mares, hair wild and dresses in tatters. He was about to say something when he saw Spike holding onto the white unicorn and laughing along with the rest. So he said something else, "Can I get you anything?"

The white one recovered first, grinning at him she said, "Six coffees I think, one milk. Oh, and bring the tray over - no the whole tray, I'll cover the cost for whatever we take but we'll want to take our time. Thank you."

As a group the ponies staggered their way over to the other occupant of the late-night eatery, a dark blue unicorn mare who had watched the previous exchange with amusement, and a yawn. "You look as though you have either escaped the jaws of death or had more fun that 'tis probably legal in this day an' age." said 'Midnight'.

Hugs were exchanged and, after several false starts, each pony told their tale in turn... of the best night ever.

Author's Note

A Variant Season finis
Next: For Want of a War

Originally Published Oct 15, 2012