blind luck

“Applejack, don’t be like that.”

“Sorry, Rainbow… but that’s the way it goes. This is goodbye… N’ the end.” The orange mare said, trotting back to her home.

Rainbow Dash could only stand there in shame and despair, as she watched the lover of her life walk away from her, back into the hooves of somepony who'd love her and appreciate her more than she ever could.

She could still remember the fond memories she shared with her. From all the competitions and calm sittings on the field to their hard fights to overcome all the villains that tried to take that away from them. She could still vividly remember Applejack's prideful smile when she first saw Rainbow garnered in her wonderbolt. But now, they have now been tainted with regret. She badly needed the forgiveness of her friends to protect fractions she hoped were left, but it seemed there were none.

She started to lose hope. And as the night sky began to dawn upon her, she was blinded by the light of house she held her most cherishable memories in. Through the wind, the light revealed her Applejack leaning in the hold of Pinkie Pie. She couldn't be mad her. Rainbow was the one who cheated on Applejack. It all felt like a fleeting pain, growing more numb by the minute. She didn't care anymore.

Rainbow dash looked at the photo in her hoof of her and her former friends as she remembered the reactions from her friends. The memory of Rarity punching Rainbow in the face. Of Twilight pushing Rainbow away with a force field. Of Fluttershy calling her disgusting and cruel, splashing scat all over her. And of everypony treating Rainbow Dash like a pariah not just to Ponyville.

Rainbow had decided then and there that there's nothing left for her here now. If nopony wants anything to do with her anymore, then why should Rainbow?

Rainbow dashed out of her once fond home and discovered a dragon volcano that lied at the far distance. There, she found a lake of lava below where she tossed the photo to burn to ash. "Fuck harmony," Rainbow spat.

Tears streamed under Rainbow's eyes. And without a second thought, she flew off. She flew off far the borders Equestria and persisted on and on, hopefully somewhere where she will never see or hear about the horrible land she was born in.

She found the remains of what used to be one of the three kingdoms, long before the ponies known friendship. When the founders of Equestria left their land. There wasn't any snow now, But it was abandoned regardless. Rainbow decided to live there as a hermit. And it is good enough for her to live there.

Rainbow dash did not want friendship anymore. She was fast enough to grow her own crops, all thank's to her former wife's teachings. and she even made a stream of water for herself to drink. She loved it here, and she looked at the rest of the huts she found, it reminded her of her friends and she shakes her head.

"I was a fool to cheat on applejack, and I was even more of a fool to think that friendship is magic, it's not! This was only a fantasy world I was in! I mean yeah they did help me, But were they meaningless in the end? I used to think that friendship is magic, but now I realized that it only ends with tragedy. I'm done with friendship now. Everything that Celestia said to us is nothing but a prank, a sick fucked up prank that I fell for. But no... no, I will not fell for it again!"

Rainbow slammed the door shut and lit the chimney inside her home on fire...

three years later

Rainbow Dash's mane tail has grown out over the course of the years. These times in the wild have brought out the feral in her as she spent the last years in solitude. It did not bring her happiness, however. But even so, she persisted on drenched in dirt and tangled mane.

Rainbow dash dreamed of her former friends celebrating a party with her last night, she was happy in her dream. And so was everypony around her. There was even a large piece of cake for her and there is even apple cider for her to drink. It was a pleasant dream.

But all of that was gone now. But something is watching her and was helping her out. She was not alone anymore.

She finished the harvest to see who it was that was watching her. What she saw was a very old palace, it looked like the palace of princess platinum.

Rainbow flew inside the ruin in hopes to find somepony.

"Hello!?" Rainbow called out. Her voice echoed through the hollow halls. "Is anypony here!?"

"I'm glad to see you?" A ghostly voice said.

"You shouldn't be," Rainbow replied, "I mean look at me, I'm useless, I'm only a Ne'er-do-well, good-for-nothing."

"The spirit finally appeared with a pain in her heart, she looked like a little bit like rainbow dash but was wearing armor,

It was the spirit of private pansy herself talking to rainbow.

"Who told you those things?" The spirit asked, "how do you know this?"

Rainbow started to cry,

"can't you see for yourself? All of equestria tells me so. I screwed up my life worse than I can ever imagine it to be. I had everything and I wasted it all. And for what? Just a few times to get fucked in the bed? If I had a tombstone when I die it would say, Rainbow Dash The Wonderbolt and Hero of Equestria. but instead all it should say is Rainbow Dash the Fucking Whore. A fucking whore. That’s all I’ll be remembered for. I deserved that punch Rarity gave me. I deserved Fluttershy telling me that I was “disgusting”. I deserved being a pariah in Ponyville ‘till I gave in and flew away."

Rainbow was expecting the spirit to punish her and cutting of her sentence, but she didn't, maybe she wants more of her confessions, she didn't even looked at the spirit. She continued

"I flew away because I wanted nothing to do with friendship, I flew all the way and I ended up back here. And I should, if I truly loved Applejack I should leave and never come back, and I give up friendship all together. And I'm living here now."

Rainbow started sobbing.

"I didn't want to live here but I have to, I… I…"

Rainbow burst into tears and she finally released her emotions, she couldn't take it anymore, she now wants her pain to go away.

"Go ahead! Punish me! End my suffering! Rip my vagina off for all I care, I'm not good enough for this world! just kill me! Do it!" Rainbow finally starts to give in to her death And accept it.

But the spirit of pansy wasn't angry, for tears were streaming down her face, not from disappointment, but from empathy. She walked towards rainbow, and hugged her. Rainbow’s eyes widened with surprise while she was crying, It wasn't what rainbow was expecting. the spirit hugged her firmly and very warmly.

"it's okay, rainbow... its okay."

"I... I don't understand."

pansy raised her head and looked at her with compassion in her eyes, rainbow saw tears streaming down the spirit's face before drying them with a hoof and speak

"I understand what you were feeling, rainbow dash. it is guilt. everypony likes to believe that you will be forgiven only you deserve it, but thats not how forgiveness works."

rainbow dash listened in.

pansy finishes her sentence

"but not being forgiven is way harmful then what you may think. it is necessary to punish I have to give them credit, but its not always the case. I knew this because back before you were born, I had two sons, one who was shy and the other was just like you, confident, an energetic warrior, and he had made the same mistake as you, he cheated on his wife with another pony.
it was exposed for everypony to see. but me and my friends are the only ones who forgave him, but it wasn't enough to save his life."

"you mean he commited suicide."

pansy nods her head, "five years later yes, not everypony kills them selves after five years, but it will only happens to some ponies and thats not a good thing because my people killed themselves every day because they did not know how forgiveness works."

"I... I'm so sorry."

Pansy smiled, "Which is why I forgive you."

rainbow dash could not believe her ears, the spirit said what she wanted to hear. rainbow starts to cry even more.

"you do? but... but why? I caused so much pain to applejack, I don't deserve any forgiveness!"

"rainbow dash, forgiveness is not something you earn, it is what you need, what everypony needs. and it is what you needed the most. I saw you three years ago, you were starting to lose hope of friendship, and I have been wondering what was wrong, you said to yourself that 'you were more of a fool to think that friendship is magic' but I can assure you, your not. "

rainbow dash begins to remember her former friends. and she remembers what applejack said.

“Fair to who? ‘Cause if Ah went back with y’all, it would certainly not be fair to me, nor to Pinkie… Ah don’t know what y’all thought… but sumtimes, a simple sorry ain’t enough. N’ sum errors can’t be mended.”

“Sorry, Rainbow… but that’s the way it goes. This is goodbye… N’ the end.”

rainbow begins to speak.

"even if it's true of what you said, I still can't go back, my sorry will never be enough, and I can't mend my mistakes. and it is the way it goes."

"that doesn't mean it should!" pansy argued, "applejack may have been right and you may not have her love back, but she should have stayed friends with you and that would have been it! whats even worse is that princess celestia clearly said that you should forgive them no matter what, but they did nothing! an that leads to murder, vengeance, and hate! and that is what created the villains you know over the years!"

pansy takes a deep breath and calms down, "and you are welcome to stay here as long as you wish. as long as you need to come back, but if you ever come back to equestria, I will come with you and I will protect you, though I would talk to celestia about this just for safety precaution."

"why are you helping me? you were just like fluttershy. are you sure your nothing like her?"

"i'm sure. and I'm helping you, because you are my great great great great... oh dear... granddaughter. and you were part of my family. and I am very disappointed in your parents for disowning you. if they don't have the heart to help you out, then I will."

rainbow dash felt better, and turns around.

"okay... I think i'm ready to go back, and I was wrong for thinking that it was all a prank by celestia, and I was also wrong for thinking that friendship isn't magic. do you think she would forgive me?

"of course she would, and she wouldn't blame you for thinking that. and I understand why. you were losing hope, you succumbed to disharmony that you were trying to avoid your entire life. you didn't want to succumb to that, but you did. but now that I helped you, I think you are able to go back to equestria have better friends there."

rainbow dash starts crying again, not with sorrow, but with tears of joy. she felt 20 percent cooler again, and was able to go back to equestria and make new friends there who would forgive her. but rainbow dash has one more question before she goes.

"do you think there would be a new squad that is as good as the wonderbolts that i can join?"

"maybe, we'll just had to go and see, you might never know."

rainbow couldn't agree more, rainbow smiled as she bolted out to the sky along with pansy, they both fly together and they were very fast flyers, rainbow dash looked at pansy.

"I didn't know you were as fast as me!" rainbow shouted because of the wind"

"I was an athlete like you once," pansy answered, "long before i became a soldier."

rainbow dash felt so happy to be forgiven she had one trick, she wanted to preform a sonic rainboom.

"you know I can teach you how to preform a double rainboom, and its a lot better then the sonic rainboom of yours."

"you can do that!?" rainbow asked.

"yeah, I can teach you. just follow what I can do."

pansy starts to go faster and rainbow was doing the same, the two ponies build up there speed, even faster than a sonic rainboom that rainbow just preformed. rainbow starts to build up speed along with pansy as they both fuse together, rainbow starts to feel something build up behind her, she felt the rainbow covering her legs, and then her entire body, and then they both preformed the double rainboom, it was even larger then the sonic rainboom, and it was fast enough for them to go to equestria.

the rainboom has a very strong wind, but it was very far away enough for all of equestria to let them know that she was here.

"grandma pansy, we did it! we performed the double rainboom!"

rainbow dash made it to equestria and landed in the ground of what was her home, but pansy was gone, rainbow looked everywhere

"don't worry rainbow," said pansy's voice in her head, " I am still here, I fused myself within your spirit, so I may be with you. if your former friends still refuses to forgive you, then remember this, find the new friends who are willing to forgive you, no matter what."

rainbow nods her head, and walks to another town, full of friendship even better than ponyville, the town who would forgave her more then twilight and her friends can. rainbow felt safe and full of joy and confident as she found a new beginning. and new friends,

rainbow looked up to the sky with tears in her eyes.

"thank you." thats all she can say before she kept on walking.