The Rainbooms vs Copyright Law ©

by The Hat Man

Rating: teen
Tags: Fluttershy (EqG), Equestria Girls, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Slice of Life, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle (EqG)
Length: 1434

A Cease and Desist letter may spell the end for the Rainbooms. They'll need to fight for their band's future in this tale of music, litigation, the 60s being kinda weird in general, and Rainbow Dash being a frickin' idiot.

A Cease and Desist letter may spell the end for the Rainbooms. They'll need to fight for their band's future in this tale of music, litigation, the 60s being kinda weird in general, and Rainbow Dash being a frickin' idiot.

Winner of the Quills and Sofas "3-Lines" speedwrite challenge.

Published 2020-07-31 17:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-31 17:50:00 UTC

Cease and Desist

“You’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today,” Rainbow Dash said as she paced back and forth before her friends as they gathered in Canterlot High’s music room.

“You didn’t gather us, Rainbow Dash,” Sunset said. “We had this room scheduled for our own practice this week. Like, you know, we always do.”

“Well, I’ll tell you why!” Rainbow said, undeterred.

The other girls were seated nearby, and they all collectively rolled their eyes.

“I have some news that will shock you! Surprise you! Perhaps even… unsettle you!” Rainbow said, narrowing her eyes.

“Oh, Rainbow, you’re using that Word of the Day calendar I got you last Christmas!” Twilight exclaimed clasping her hands together eagerly.

“Not the point, but yes, I have, and I can vilify my previous statement!”

“Verify,” Twilight corrected.

“What I’m about to tell you will truly be…”

She held up her phone and hit a button on it, causing it to play a recording of Rarity shrieking “The! Worst! Possible! Thing!”

“Oh dear, is that what I really sound like?” Rarity asked, furrowing her brow. “It isn’t, is it? I’m not that annoying when I say that, am I? Am I?!”

They collectively looked away amid several coughs and grunts and Pinkie loudly eating a cupcake she’d pulled from nowhere.

“Uh, Rainbow,” Applejack said, raising a hand to get her attention, “not to be rude or nothin’, but maybe you should just quit beatin’ around the bush.”

Rainbow crossed her arms. “You weren’t complaining about that last night,” she said sulkily.

“No no, not, uh… not that,” she said, chuckling nervously as her cheeks reddened. “I, uh, I mean quit stallin’ and just tell us what’s botherin’ ya.”

“Right!” Rainbow said, clenching her fist. “Here’s the problem, everyone: we have to change the name of our band.”

A chorus of surprise and protest went up from the group as Rainbow raised her hands, waiting for them to calm down.

“I know, I know,” she said, heaving a sigh. “But there’s no other choice.”

“But darling, whatever for?” Rarity asked. “While I wasn’t so sure about the name ‘The Rainbooms’ initially, now I can’t think of it by any other name!”

“I know, I know, but it wasn’t my call,” Rainbow said. “Here’s the issue: the name’s copyrighted.”

“What?!” Pinkie Pie screamed.

“I know!” Rainbow exclaimed. “I had no idea!”

“Oh, actually,” Pinkie said, calming down for a moment, “I meant that I don’t know what that word means.”

“It means,” Twilight said, getting out her cell phone to do a search, “that some other band already had the name ‘The Rainbooms.’ If we don’t change our name, they could sue us, and we’d have to pay a huge amount of money!”

Fluttershy, who’d been silent the whole time, suddenly sat up straight as her eyes widened. “Uh oh,” she muttered.

They all turned to look at her.

“Fluttershy?” Rarity asked. “What is it, darling?”

“I, um,” Fluttershy began, smoothing her hair down as she looked away, “might have heard of them before.”

“What?!” Rainbow cried. “Where?! When?!”

“Ooh, if you just add ‘why’ and ‘how,’ you could be a reporter, Rainbow!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Fluttershy swallowed, trying hard to meet Rainbow’s eyes. “Well…”

“So, you say this belongs to your parents, right?”

Rainbow held up the strange, plastic object in her hands. It was rectangular, grayish, and about the size of her hand. On the front was a very faded image of some people with very long hair, baggy clothes, and floral print designs. She then held up the large object that Fluttershy’s parents had handed her.

“Um,” she began, looking at the larger object through squinted eyes, then looking to Twilight for help “do you have any idea what this thing does?”

“No, but it appears to be a musical device of some kind,” Twilight said, holding it aloft like a small child. “It says ‘Play’ here, ‘Stop’ here… this is definitely something, but I certainly have never seen it. It’s probably some relic lost to time and—”

“It’s an 8-track machine,” Fluttershy said flatly, taking the player from Twilight and the 8-track tape from Rainbow. “Here, I’ll play it for you.”

The music that emanated from the device was clear enough, though each of them had to admit that they were more than a bit puzzled by the songs and lyrics. It included titles such as ‘Hug Trees, Don’t Bug Phones,’ ‘Keep Off the Grass, Sassafras,’ ‘Vietnam, Man? Viet-Nah, Man!’ among others.

“When did this even come out?” Sunset asked, pressing the stop button on the machine.

“Aw, Sunset, I was enjoying that!” Fluttershy cried. “Oh, but, um… 1968.”

“Yeah, I was groovin’ to music, too, man!” Pinkie added. “It, like, totally expanded my miiiind.”

“Sounds like there was a whole lotta ‘mind expandin’ goin’ on with this band,” Applejack remarked, her eyebrow raised.

“Well, I did some digging,” Twilight said, consulting her cell phone again, “and it looks like this band only put out this one album. It’s out of print and it’s been over fifty years! Maybe it’s not even an issue.”

“I wish!” Rainbow groaned. “But I got a cease and desist letter! It’s hopeless!”

Sunset rubbed her chin. “Strange that this would come up now,” she said. “Uh, Rainbow, can I see that letter?”

Rainbow handed it over to her. Sunset read it at first with concern… then narrowed her gaze. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me…”

“So, like, pretty weird, right?” Tree Hugger asked as she sat meditating in her front yard. “Like, when I heard your band was the same as my parents’ old band, I totally thought I’d let you know.”

“Riiight,” Sunset said, giving Rainbow a sideways glance. “See, it was a little confusing, Tree Hugger.”

“What?” the green, dreadlocked girl asked, looking up at Sunset hazily. “Like… how?”

Fluttershy stepped forward. “Well, it did seem a little bit like you wanted us to stop using the name,” she said.

“Though I don’t see how Rainbow mistook it for a real cease and desist letter,” Sunset added.

“Hey, it says it right here!” Rainbow shouted, snatching the letter from Sunset’s hand. “It says, ‘Hey, it totally looks like you have the same name as that other band The Rainbooms from a while back. I hope you didn’t steal it or anything, because if you did, you should probably give it back in case someone else wants it.’

“See? What else could it have been?”

They all stared back at her in silence.

“Yer lucky that yer cute,” Applejack grumbled.

“Oh, like… am I detecting some bad vibes or something?” Tree Hugger asked, frowning as she stood up.

“Well, Treezie,” Fluttershy said, “we didn’t know about your parents’ band name. But we also really don’t want to change ours. Could we, um… maybe… keep it?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Tree Hugger said. “Lemme check.”

She turned back toward her house and, cupping her hand to her mouth, shouted “Hey, Mom, Dad? Can, like, my friends have your old band name?”

“Which one?” a man’s voice called back from inside the house. “Lover’s Delight? The Rainbooms? Or Imagine Dragons?”

“The Rainbooms, Dad.”

“Oh… yeah, that sounds cool. Is that cool, honey?”

“Tooootally cool,” a woman’s voice said back.

“I guess you can keep it,” Tree Hugger said.

“Okay, well, great! Thanks, Tree Hugger!” Sunset said, turning and grabbing Rainbow Dash by the ear. “Meantime, we have a band meeting where we talk about the importance of actual lawyers.”

Tree Hugger shrugged as she walked back into her house.

“Oh, by the way, Dad? Those Imagine Dragons guys actually did send us a letter. They’ll pay us 20 bucks if we let them have the name.”

“Really? I guess that’s cool. It's hard to believe there's all these bands that like our old names. That’s crazy!”

Author's Note

This story was written as part of the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting group's "3 lines" challenge. Writers had an hour to write a story but they had to use certain lines in the story, which were revealed gradually over the writing period. The lines were:

"You’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today." - Had to be the first line.

"Do you have any idea what this thing does?” - somewhere in the middle of the story

"That's crazy!" - Had to be the last line.

Luckily, it worked out. It was quite fun to write, and I hope you've enjoyed it as well, dear reader. Until next time! 🎩