Race Against the Cock

I am not sure if I should write a date for this, given the purpose of this diary. I am not sure why I am writing this down at all, other than a sense that this should not all be forgotten. It was necessary, I know, but removing such a significant part of nature feels wholly uncomfortable. Perhaps this is for my own peace of mind. Starswirl did teach us to write down our thoughts for clarity and reflection, after all. Part of the process is erasing it from the greater knowledge of all society, lest all of the hard work and sacrifices that I made that we all made are undone. I have torn the offending pages from our old journal, scoured every offending item from their words, and ensured it only exists in its cleanest, purest form. While it no longer officially exists, I cannot bring myself to erase everything of it from existence. I will rewrite the offending entries, strictly copied, into this diary, and update it should I need to ever again. Given my work here, perhaps I will need to make several updates in the future. That is something only time can tell.

15th September 4 E.E.
Count Purplehoof approached me at the festival while Starswirl left to discuss something important with the Pillars, and I cannot help but think he was waiting until I was alone. He showered me with praise, told me how amazing and spectacular the festivity was, and when I told him that the unicorns deserved the praise and credit for their generosity in inviting all of the members of pony society to celebrate, he said that the alicorns represented the unity of ponykind, and that I was the correct recipient of his gratitude. I could not find a way to leave without being rude, and so I stayed and listened as he talked about how proud he was to have lived through the redefining of an era, how the two beautiful princesses who ruled over this magnificent kingdom were so wise and graceful and beautiful - yes, he really emphasised that - and how honoured he was to have met us. He also completely unsubtlety mentioned his son, who he reminded me was young and unmarried. I really am grateful for the lessons the Pillars gave me on etiquette, because I really did not want to have to thank him and act as if I were flattered at his social posturing, but I believed I played my part convincingly enough. I made an attempt to draw the conversation back to the new calendar, and how strange it still was for the years to be marked as the 'Equestrian Era' and how gorgeous this new city truly was, but he always found his way back to shallow compliments about my youth and potential solutions for my lack of a husband. I was beyond grateful when Starswirl returned and took me way to socialise with other noobles. I did not leave his side for the rest of the night.

18th September 4 E.E.
I found myself in an argument with Starswirl today. I felt bad immediately afterward, but I was so upset at how little was being done about ponies like Count Purplehoof. I raised what had happened at what the unicorns are calling 'The Grand Galopping Gala', and he sighed and offered his sympathy. I told him that the count was trying to maneuverer his family into greater social status, and he told me that he knew, but that simply engaging in conversation wasn't a matter which warranted upsetting a new nation. At first I thought that he did not understand, that he believed the count was simply being friendly, but when I tried to clarify, Starswirl said that he knew exactly what the count was like as a pony, and that he had no love for the stallion. I thought at this stage he would let me know what was to be done, but I was told that I would face worse ponies during my time as the leading princess of the kingdom, and that I had to learn the diplomatic way to resolve conflicts between my subjects. I felt indignant, and I said some things I regret, which led to him chastising me for losing my temper. I know I need to be in control, but I have seen the way the count - and the others - look at mares, and the way they talk sometimes feels like something that should not exist in the society we are creating together. Perhaps it is a problem I can resolve one day, a part of my destiny? For now, I will apologise to Starswirl. I cannott afford to be at odds with a stallion who truly is my friend and ally, amidst a number of stallions who most certainly are not.

5th October 4 E.E.
Luna and I played in the woods today. It was a nice change from the usual responsibilities of being a princess, and with Starswirl busy, I wanted to do something I knew both she and I would enjoy. The shower of falling reds and oranges were beautiful, and we had a wonderful time. Luna jumped into the piles we collected and we laughed, but as I took a moment to rest, my mind drifted back to what I had been seeing in Canterlot, where the nobility congregate now. As much as Starswirl tells me to not let my mind be consumed by rumour and hearsay, I cannot ignore the things I hear, especially not when Count Purplehoof is involved. Some of the staff seem as uncomfortable around him as I feel, and though they strongly denied him having done anything, I saw the way he looked at them, and the way they reacted within their compelled stoicism. The mares who work there undoubtedly feel coerced by the fragility of their social status compared to his (as do the stallions no doubt, but his treatment of them is far less intrusive and personal). Luna asked what I was thinking about, since I had apparently been gazing into the distance, and when my eyes fell on her, I felt a deep sense of sadness and unease. Purplehoof had approached me the moment I turned eighteen, taking the time to seek me out and offer his congratulations, and his behaviour has not slowed in the months and weeks since. My sister is young and innocent, sweetly naïve and unfamiliar with that which, in all honesty, I myself was not entirely aware until a few months ago. In four years, she will be as old as I am now. Would Purplehoof pursue her too, seeking a hand for his son? If not him, then other suitors, undoubtedly. All of the creeping and secluding and unwanted attention beyond that she already has to endure, inevitably waiting for her. In that moment, her face was so bright and pure, her mane drizzled with wet leaves, and I found myself growing angry and resolute. I could not explain to her what exactly I was thinking, or why I knew, so I offered her something less complicated and still mostly truthful; I said I believed that some of our subjects were ill, and I was worried about them. I told her I wanted to save them, and to keep everypony safe from this sickness spreading. She hugged me, and told me I would definitely be able to help the kingdom, because I was the most amazing princess she knew, but that she would help if I let her. I hugged her tighter, and resolved that I would not let anything happen to her. I will not allow anypony, any creature, anything, to harm Luna.

19th December 4 E.E.
If my writing is shaky, it is because I am seething with rage. Earlier today, I attended Canterlot to inspect the arrangements for the Hearth's Warming celebrations. When I approached the castle, I came across a mare sobbing and whimpering in the street, sat against a wall with a small bundle - a meagre collection of personal belongings, I soon discovered - by her hooves. I stopped to ask what was wrong, and through sobs and attempts to assure me that she was fine and that I need not pay her any attention, she finally divulged that she had been a servant in the castle until that morning, in which she had lived. It had been discovered that she was pregnant, and since she was young and unmarried, she had been dismissed for an unacceptable standard of behaviour, and compelled to leave the castle - without food or shelter to return to. I asked if the father could support her, even if this was an uncomfortable proposition for her, but she was reluctant to discuss the matter, and implied that the father was the reason she had been dismissed. I admit I made some direct and rather blunt enquiries, through which I deduced that the mystery father was in fact Count Purplehoof himself. This morbid, disgraceful news chilled me to my core, yet even as I felt the icy grip of revulsion creep and freeze in my stomach and heart, I found myself readily accepting this revelation, as though it were so obvious as to have been inevitable. Worse, still, this mare was not the only maid to have been pressured for additional services beyond her contracted employment, though she was seemingly the only one to have suffered such severe consequences for having done so. There was no way I could leave her alone at winter in such a dire predicament, but convincing her to accept my offer of lodging at our castle until she was able to seek employment and shelter of her own was a struggle beyond what I'd anticipated. She urged me to not be seen helping her, lest my social status suffer. That sickened me, and I very nearly dragged her back to our castle by force. The greatest provocation for my rage was the reaction I received from Starswirl, who chastised me for inviting a pony into the castle so sporadically, telling me that it was irresponsible and naive. I was furious with him, and I still am, even if he has done more than anypony else to ensure she has settled in and has everything she needs. How could he ignore the situation? How could such a wise unicorn simply ignoring the suffering of another like that? I appreciate he has personally seen that she has received food, water, a bath, and even had Mage Meadowbrook attend on such short notice to provide pre-natal care and examinations. We couldn't hide her presence from Luna, who asked who the mare was and why we were making such a fuss about her. My heart burned as I told her that the mare was sick, and she would be staying with us until she felt better. I didn't want to lie to my dear sister, but how was I to tell her what had really happened? It is a close enough tale as I feel comfortable telling, though it is not without its problems. Luna wishes to go and help the mare, to find any way she can to assist her, or at least stay with her and provide companionship throughout her "illness". Luna is too pure and kind for her own good, and it breaks my heart to see such an innocent mare attempting to grapple with cruel truths about which she can know nothing. She is the best out of all of us, and I must not let anything happen to Luna. I will not let anything happen to her.

26th December 4 E.E.
If I must reflect critically as I have been taught, extracting positive elements in which I performed optimally, and negative elements which are prime candidates for improvement, I will say that I have become adept at my discipline and self-control, maintaining an appropriate regal facade in my behaviour and countenance for the duration of the Hearth's Warming ceremony. I performed my duties without fault, despite the provocation that was the presence of that despicable, cretinous creature polite society knows as Count Purplehoof. The only negative I shall extract from the evening was that I harboured deep and vivid ambitions of removing him from the castle, or perhaps even Equestria itself, by swift and aerial means. Despite my highly volatile view of the wretched stallion, I maintained a noble aura and personality throughout the evening, even when engaging with the object of my contempt. He had the nerve, the gall, to broach the topic of marriage once again, the meaning behind his words as clear as a crystal for everypony within earshot despite his embarrassingly deluded belief in his own subtlety. I came close to abandoning my standards when he raised the issue of succession and ensuring an heir to the throne, and specified how improper it would be to do so outside the bounds of wedlock. I was sure my teeth would chip and shatter with how hard I clenched my jaw, struggling to relax my muscles against such wanton provocation. If I had been eating at that moment, I would have undoutedly bitten through the steel of my cutlery. Mercifully, Starswirl's lessons and my own practice prevented my face burning red in rage, or my feelings exploding from me in a great fiery burst. I smiled, and suggested that if that were the case, perhaps it would be best if he and I were not seen together as often for fear of ruining our respective reputations by encouraging rumours, to which he either feigned ignorance, or revealed the depths of his sincere mental ineptitude. I reminded him that social propriety was paramount, and that any suggestion that either of us would attempt for a foal outside of wedlock - or not attempt but receive one anyway - would be a ghastly consequence of his continued presence around me. I believe he understood the underlying message, as he bowed and left immediately. I did not reveal to anypony else my feelings about the stallions of the aristocracy, preserving my sentiments for this diary. There is wisdom in not undermining the peace hard-fought and hard-won between the tribes of ponykind, and I do not doubt for a moment that this nascent nation requires the careful balance of trust and community to allow harmony to weave itself into the fabric of our country, but there is an underlying rot which I cannot believe ought to be allowed to persist. If such a rot takes hold, will this become a part of our country too? How can a land dedicated to harmony, peace, and justice permit such vile stains to exist not only within its borders, but within the very highest echelons of its esteemed foundations? Will one value not be corroded by tolerance of its opposite, of the antithesis being cemented through permissiveness until it becomes convention and custom? I do not know the answer, but I am certain it is not this. There must be something I can do. As the ruler of this kingdom, it is my duty to my subjects to root out all threats to my people.

10th January 5 E.E.
I was unaware of just how deep this malignance was rooted. While attending Canterlot Castle today, I found myself wandering through the kitchen to fetch some goods for Luna and myself, when I heard a noise from one of the pantries. I had believed myself to be alone, but there was definitely a noise, however faint, coming from behind the door. I approached quietly, and after listening for several seconds, I came to the conclusion that another mare employed by the castle was being coerced into a carnal act for the benefit of one of the nobles. Providing for my prior experience, I came to the immediate conclusion that it was Count Purplehoof behind the door, and that belief filled me with a great anger. He had already imposed greatly on a mare's life without any care for her wellbeing or even the decency of recognition and meagre support, and here he was repeating his attrocity before his previous victim had even given birth! I admit I was guided by rage and indignity, and I threw open the door, fully intending to confront this vile stallion, but what I found was not at all what I had envisaged in my head. I had previously believed that the cruelty among the aristocracy and nobility had flowed in one direction, from stallions to mares, yet what I saw proved to me how wrong I had been. None other than Countess Rosewood leaning against the shelves, receiving rather vigourous attention from a young stallion who looked to be kitchen staff, both of whom jumped as the door was thrown open and hastily adjusted their garments. I had, until that point, been very sympathetic towards Countess Rosewood, believing her to have been the victim of Purplehoof's infidelity, but as she blustered some half-cooked excuse about the circumstances and smoothed her dress, I realised that the disgraceful behaviour ran through their marriage like canker through a tree. My shock had cooled my anger like heated steel dropped in water, but when Rosewood began to blame the stallion, accusing him of having forced her to partake in the activity in which I caught them engaging, my irritation grew beyond my capacity for tolerance. Neither my words nor my tone were in keeping with proper princess decorum, and I recognise I shall need to be mindful of this in the future, but in that moment, I was candid, and told Countess Rosewood that she was to cease her lying, her adultery, and would compensate the stallion handsomely for the trouble through which she dragged him. I also informed her that she would not disparage my name to anypony else for my decision, and that she would do no further damage to the staff of the castle, either by coercion or by way of implicit threat to their station or status, or by offering explicitly or implicitly any reward for engaging in sordid acts. She was clearly appalled by my declaration, but it was also clear that she dared not challenge me. I was briefly satisfied once I had strode away and let my fury subside, relishing in putting an end to her lecherous behaviour, but that was quickly dwarfed by the realisation that it had taken my authority to halt her nefarious predation, and that it would have continued had I happened to not be in the correct place at the correct time such as I was. Indeed, they clearly expected to uninterrupted, given that the door was not locked and the location of their rendezvous was far from innocuous in most circumstances. I am unsure exactly how open this secret is in the circles of aristocracy, and though I dread to discover more, I know I must. Problems cannot be solved by ignoring them, nor insisting on shying away from uncomfortable truths.

28th January 5 E.E.
I appear to have once again underestimated the breadth of the issue afflicting Equestria, though I dread to believe I am correct. I pray that this is merely an outlier, a mere unfortunate coincidence, but I am forcing myself to entertain the prospect that it is not. As I pledged when I encountered Countess Rosewood, I will not shy away from the vile nature of wrongdoing in whichever form it manifests. Earlier today, while presiding over the petitions and appeals brought before the court, three ponies made their complaint to me, which consisted of a truly sordid affair. The first stallion, who was the chief complainant, was the husband of the mare, and claimed that their three children were not his, but a product of infidelity with their neighbour. The mare and the second stallion denied this, and insisted that it was a mistake, that there had been nothing between them, but their claims were all there truly was. I had no way of determining who was in the right, yet as princess of the realm, it was my sworn duty to adjudicate such issues. The only solution I foresaw was to become creative, and so I did exactly that; I told my subjects that I possessed a method of determining the truth, and asked them each in turn to clearly state their claims. After they had done so, I announced that alicorns could determine the ancestory of a pony due to our connection to all three races, and that it would be simple to learn who was correct in this petition. This was, of course, nonsense, but thus far, all three were insisting that their mutually contradictory statements were indisputable fact, and I had no means in my repetoire to dislodge the deceiver from their position. It was after this information had been stated, and I asked for the final time if there were any adjustments or confessions the respective parties wished to make before testing was conducted, that all three withdrew their complaints immediately. When pressed for the reason, the second stallion and the mare finally cracked and admitted bashfully that they had been having a long-term affair, and that they believed the foals to be not of her husband's loins. I anticipated uproar, and so made to have the parties separated, but before I could, a further explanation from the mare revealed that the repeated failed attempts to conceive children with her husband in the preceding years had left her to believe that he was unable to sire any offspring at all. This had the unanticipated effect of procuring a disbelieving shout from another petitioner, who made in vulgar terms an inquiry about who the father of her own foal could possibly be if not the husband. From there, a number of affairs were revealed, and I called for the guards to reassert order as the gathered crowd threatened to erupt into a brawl, with several already grappling and leaping to attack those who had aggrieved them. By my estimation, once all had returned to calm, and the ungracious matter of entitlements and restitution had been settled, no less than a fifth of the entire town had been engaged in adultery. As I have already written, this may be a fluke, a mere happenchance, and I sincerely hope it is so. If not, however, and I must ponder this prospect with serious consideration, then the promiscuity and sexual impropriety of my subjects is far greater than I had anticipated. Indeed, it appears to be more prevelant among the commoners than the aristocracy, which deeply troubles me. I had thought that this failure of character had been a trait of those who had been born to a life of ease, a product of their environment and upbringing, and perhaps the freedom from the harsher constraints of life which beleagured every other social class. I was apparently mistaken, and gravely so, for it seems that what I had believed to be a small matter capable of surgical removal from our society is instead a pestilence which walks among each and every pony. If this is a social contagion, then it is one which afflicts my entire kingdom, and one which will not be purged so easily.

20th February 5 E.E.
The days I spent travelling confirmed my suspicions, and the truth I learned was grave. I informed Starswirl of what I had accomplished, and he appeared pleased with how I had handled my subject's conflicts and conternations and what my encounters had taught me. I did not mention the severity of the issue, much as I did not tell him the true purpose of my tour when I sought his approval for it at the beginning of this month. I still owe Mage Meadowbrook my thanks for her support in swaying Starswirl to agree to allow me to wander and adjudicate those who needed the assurance of royal judgement, though while they are themselves assured by my actions, I have to carry with me the burden of the truth about the nature of my subjects. The first stop of my tour, a small village, had one case of adultery, and the second had three. The most pernicious settlement had no fewer than fifty eight such examples, at least which I was able to extract from confessions and deductions. Although no other place was as steeped in that degeneracy, not a single location was free from its enervation. There was not a single character to blame, either; mares lied to their husbands, stallions deceived their wives, and strangers fought over the affections they believed to be their entitlement from another, real or imagined. Perhaps most worringly, the justice sought by those wronged by the selfishness and short-sightedness of other ponies was exacting and extreme, and I found myself as a shield against cruelty I could not permit, but could not condemn without sympathy. A wandering pony who had borne children of multiple mares of a town had been imprisoned by the vengeful husbands, and the demands they made for his punishment were beyond that which I could allow. The negotiation for his continued health and wellbeing was long and arduous, and this was by far the most taxing of conundrums I have had to face during my reign thus far. I did not wish to argue for his release, or to provide a defence for his entitlement to a reasonable life, but my duty and my obligation to righteousness compelled me to do so. It took many, many hours to reach a resolution which satisfied enough ponies to allow for the wrongdoer's safety and a means of ensuring his restitution. On my return to the Everfree Castle, I considered what the future might hold for those ponies, as even with my intervention, the damage had already been done. The relationships had been torn apart, the social fabric had been stained, and life was forever changed, even if I had given them whatever they'd have wanted. For all my authority, my actions were unable to mend the harm already caused by a pony's selfishness and greed, and the weakness of those complicit in his disgraceful schemes. My train of thought took a darker turn when I considered the role of power in this matter; I have come to the realisation that ponies are fundamentally the same, regardless of their social standing, both for good and for ill. Everypony has the hopes of a better future, the drive to protect and preserve that which is theirs, and the ambitious climb towards that which they want, and this is true of the most lowly commoner to the most high lord. Circumstances may dictate the manner and means in which we engage with the world, and informs us of our options and choices in any given situation, which is where we draw the distinction between farmer and noble. A distinction which has been obvious to me for a long time is how I am treated by my subjects, for as the aristocrats greet me with due respect and politeness, the common folk regard me with awe and reverence, prostrating themselves before me whenever I walk among them. If, then, all ponies share the same triumphs and vices, what am I to assume about the desires of a farmer towards me? The elite of Canterlot are quite apparent in their interest in me, whether for social manoeuvring or for far more base reasons, but those who see themselves as far beneath me, are they merely hiding their true thoughts? If I were not the Solar Princess and Alicorn Diarch of the Kingdom of Equestria, would their manners be maintained? From what I have seen in how they treat their contemporaries and peers, I cannot assume so.

20th March 5 E.E.
I took Starswirl for granted. For all of my complaints about his inaction, his refusal to engage with the problems I brought to him, his irritation at my expressions of frustration, I did not fully know or understand just how much he truly took his guardianship of us seriously. Whether it was Starswirl's presence or actions he took to which I was not privy, I do not know, but the effects of his absence are undeniable. When the Pillars first disappeared, suddenly and without warning, there was a brief respite as the aristocracy assessed the situation, but it did not take long for them to descend like vultures once they were certain that the change was permanent. Whether or not their concerns were genuine, all of the nobles' approaches came with the same facade, the same excuse; the absence of the Pillars was of great concern to the kingdom, and it would be wise for the Princesses to work more closely with the esteemed and trustworthy members of the higher classes. Some were likely sincere, but most wanted power, and yet still some wanted to take advantage of two isolated and naive mares. I have become far more assertive in my rejections of the advances of prying stallions, and I have found a way to combine etiquette with biting rebuttals which I find is most effective in halting inappropriate behaviour in its tracks. What infuriates me is not, however, the way that these ponies approach me, but how they approach my sister. Luna is still young, still unaware of just how rotten the hearts of some of these supposedly upstanding ponies truly are, and I feel burning disgust whenever one strives to seperate her from me to talk in private, or approaches and lavishes her with slimey compliments and conceited, self-serving compassion. She may not understand truly what is happening yet, but she is growing tired of it, and she has mentioned on more than one occasion how Count Purplehoof has made her feel uncomfortable. I think she knows that Starswirl is not likely to return, and though she does not ask for him any more, I know she misses him as much as I do. When Starswirl was here, everything seemed in hand, and though he did not give me what I wanted at all times, I never felt as if there were any risk of failure or harm. When If I see him again, I owe him more gratitude than I can ever express, even with my countless years of life. For now, however, the responsibility of running the kingdom has fallen squarely to me, and Luna is no longer my little sister, but my charge, too. I shall protect her, as Starswirl protected us, and I shall educate her, as Starswirl educated us. This is my duty now, and I shall not falter. The promise I made to keep Luna safe is now more important than ever, and nopony else can bear the burden of that important task. I will find a way to keep Luna safe from these predators, no matter the cost, and no matter what it takes to fix this intolerable state of affairs.

7th May 5 E.E.
The restricted section of the library truly does hold a vast array of arcane wisdom. I have been informed that this is merely the beginning of the restricted section, and that as the years progress, more and more texts will be added as I see fit. I can see why some of this information is considered necessary to restrict from common knowledge; there is powerful magic contained within the scrolls, some of which is far easier to use than comfort suggests it ought to be, given its potency. In the wrong hands, chaos could easily sweep the land. That was not why I attended the restricted section, though it did give me pause. My search was not immediately or directly successful, not in the sense that I hoped it would be, but I came across fragments of that which I sought, and with much study and thought, I believe I have a solution. It is uncertain, but my studies and my micro-experiments have given me confidence in my hypothesis. My attempt would not be an entirely new spell, not with the multitudes of components from which I would construct it, yet its purpose and effect would be utterly novel. Banishment, as a framework for my spell, is common among other aspects of magic, from a pure vanquishing spell to the variety of magicks which utilise it in their design, but none have the scope nor the target nor the ambition of my objective. This discovery of a resolution has heartened me, though it is not without some doubt, to which Mage Meadowbrook would undoutedly tell me is natural and expected of a young mare in a position of power and responsibility, and Mistmane would suggest is an indication that I am considering my options carefully. I already know what Starswirl would say; a young princess must be wise and sure of herself, for she bears the burden of her subjects and her kingdom. I have considered this matter long and hard, and I am certain of what must be done, even if the thought of doing so offers some small measure of apprehension. To refuse to act would be irresponsible, negligent, and least of all cowardly in the face of what persists. Whatever meagre doubts I have, they are insubstantial when held against the sickness that I have witnessed gripping Equestria. No, I cannot neglect my responsibility to my subjects. The mare I discovered on the streets of Canterlot - now a mother to a gorgeous yet unwanted foal - deserved better. The stallion under the employ of Countess Rosewood deserved better. The spurned spouses and abused commoners, the vulernable and the frightened and the lonely, all of them deserve better. This problem will continue forever if I do not apprehend it, and now I have a solution, I cannot falter at the mere presence of doubts. Anxiety is expected when pioneering any novelty, when exploring any untouched frontier. There are many who came before me who have embarkened on unmapped courses which held far greater and more unknown dangers than anything to which I can claim to be imperiled, and they held far lower a station than I. If I am to be a princess, the Princess of the Sun, a ruler of this new nation, I must be firm in my convictions and lead without wavering. I cannot and will not abandon my subjects to the whims of cruelty and chaos thrust upon them by nature. This is not about me, but about them; for those I have witnessed suffering, those I have not, and those who may yet suffer if I do not act. Mostly, as selfish as it may be, this is for Luna. I have made a promise on her behalf, and I am so close to achieving it. For my dearest sister, no price is too great.

20th May 5 E.E.
I am not certain what I had expected from the spell, but I suppose I had anticipated a great disturbance or climactic eruption. Needless to say, that did not occur. Indeed, I would describe it more as a tugging disappearance, like water swirling down a drain and vanishing softly. There was no great ripping from my very being, no explosion of colour or feeling, no rush of heat or of cold, no great sensation at all. There was no flash or shadow, and for a while I wondered if it had had any effect whatsoever, or whether I had merely imagined an effect out of anticipation. I investigated myself to determine if it had worked, and as far as I can tell, it has. I thought of my encounters with my lover, of how we touched and toyed, and the memories, as vivid as they were, caused no effect upon my body. I was thoroughly disinterested, much as I was with my tutoriship in mathematics. I tried touching myself, playing with my body in ways I have before, but I could not compel myself to arousal, no matter what I tried, neither in body nor in mind. My marehood was unresponsive to my fingers' dance, whether soft or rough, and the activity was a chore for me, even when I attempted to engage in practices that have brought me to ectasy in the near past. I struggled to remember why I even enjoyed them, outside of the knowledge that I had in fact been enamoured with such erotic practices. This, I would hazard, is a sign that I have succeeded, though I cannot say to what extent this is the case. Had my spell resulted in a great cacophony, a fantastical explosion which eclipsed the sun and moon, I would have known that I had had some great effect, but alas, I am restricted to my own observations for now. In the coming days and weeks, I shall see if my libido truly suppressed, or whether this is a temporary effect, and whether this is isolated to me, or whether the scale of my ambition has been realised. Perhaps the greatest spells are too great for us to witness, much as an ant cannot comprehend the machinations of a court, which itself is more sweeping and significant than any material construction. Perhaps spells, too, have no visual clues, just wide-reaching ripples through society? All I can do now is wait and see.

21st June 5 E.E.
It has been a month and a day since I cast my concocted magic, and I can now say with certainty that I have succeeded utterly. I have not once had any lustful thought or inclination since the casting, and I have had to remind myself to think about such matters for the purpose of determining whether or not they occur to me at all. To my greatest pleasure, I believe that I am far from the only pony to be experiencing this wonderful absence, to such an extent that I would even dare to suggest that I have truly banished the root of all sinful behaviour from Equestria. Compared to the previous months, in which either myself or Luna would be harrangued and harassed by lascivious pursuers, there has been a complete decline of such behaviour. I have noticed with no small amount of satisfaction that the elite of Canterlot who could barely keep their intentions or hands to themselves are conspicuously more introverted, which they themselves appear to have noticed. I do not wish to make a habit of feeling glee at the confusion of those around me, but such prevailing concerns coming from those who have previously disturbed my sister is indeed something I have found enjoyable to witness. I am sure both Countess Rosewood and Count Purplehoof have noticed my exuberence when engaging with them, a sentiment they do not return when we engage in our interlocution, which is suspiciously far less frequent now. It may be my imagination, but I believe I have seen their beleagured expressions lengthen and deepen over this past month from what I deduce must be long and heated arguments. It was not my intent, but halting their deplorable dynamic with those they considered beneath them has apparently laid bare their passionless marriage, which I find is at least some small measure of vengence for the poor servants who suffered the indignity of their carnality. I must confess, ever since their predatory inclinations have been censured, I have become far more amenable to interactions with the court. Perhaps, in removing one pleasure, I have made room for another? I had feared I might miss the drive of lust, like one appreciates the allure of sugar and cakes, yet that has not been the case. I do not mourn its absence at all, nor yearn for its return. I had anticipated a period of craving, a natural bodily reaction to such absolute deprivation, which of course I had calculated in my planning and considered a necessary sacrifice, yet my magic has reached far beyond the symptoms and vanquished the very core of the problem. Perhaps I underestimated my capability, or perhaps I failed to consider precisely what was being banished. Regardless, the results are perfect, and I am overjoyed at the state of affairs. Luna has noticed my excitement, and has inquired as to why my demeanour has become so positive in recent weeks. Despite having to bend the truth, I honestly informed her that I had isolated and removed a sickness from Equestria which had been eluding me for the past year, the very same which had afflicted the young mare who had stayed at our castle in the winter. There was no way she could have understood the scale of my accomplishment, yet she was ecstatic, and so, so proud of me. That joyous expression of her shall be burned into my mind for eternity. I think we shall go foraging in the woods later. It feels as if it has been so long since I have been able to spend time with her with truly nothing to fear nor fret about. Truly, everything I have done, all of the hard work necessary to create my spell, has been rendered worthwhile by her reaction, as ignorant as it may be.

10th September 5 E.E.
I have heard rumours muttered in the halls of Canterlot about infertility, and I cannot shake the dread it brings me. This could be coincidence or something as simple as a period of adjustment, but the scale of the musings and the tone of the whispers does not bode well. I have covertly appraised other settlements throughout the kingdom for similar sentiments, and have found an abundance of such concerns. There is no doubt to me - and I must be honest - that this is an entanglement of my design. I endeavoured solely to remove lust and its evils from Equestria, not to eliminate procreation, yet throughout the land, ponies are noticing their lack of ability to engage in the necessary act. When I devised my plan, the thought of what would happen when ponies wished to sire offspring naturally begot a simple answer; they would understand what was necessary and fulfil the act, much as ponies understand that they must sow and reap to obtain a harvest. Everything in life requires a process to accomplish, and we engage with such acts in order to achieve a desired outcome. Why would procreation be any different? Ought I explain to them what must be done? Surely they will see that they must simply go through with it, or else live without the succor of parenthood. It would be fruitless, I fear. I did not simply remove lust, but the biological process entirely. There is no reaction to sexual stimulation, as I discovered, nor the drive to engage in such base and primal activities. From what I understand, stallions cannot summon the vigour of their parts, much as a mare cannot summon the receptivity of hers, as I have witnessed firsthand from my own experimentation. Even if this were achievable, and the act were not a great and painful difficulty, would there be a desired result? How much effort would be required? Could we demand this of ponies? That is certainly not right. It seems as though my capability far exceeded my expectations, and these unforeseen consequences are a new frontier of problems that I must overcome. Perhaps there was something deeper than mere base feelings, or at the very least, some importance I did not appreciate or recognise. Why else would the marital relationships of the court - among them Count Purplehoof and Countess Rosewood - be so evidently strained, where before there was no indication whatsoever of any difficulty in their lives? I am sorely tempted to consider it a problem of their own making, an arrogance begot of a lack of responsibility and accountability, an inability to reflect inward and resolve their own relationship issues, but I cannot be a gracious ruler and ignore my own part in forcing these issues to the forefront. Their problems may be their own, but I have drawn to the surface the wider problems that had previously been covered with a balm, and now the boiling pustules of Equestria's social problems are flaring and unavoidably present. The importance of lust eluded me, a solution to a problem that previously did not exist, and one which I have now created. These norms cannot be taught, or imparted; they are were innate, and I have stripped that inherent function from my subjects. I must find a solution to this problem. It is my responsibility, and mine alone.

13th November 5 E.E.
This entry may have to remain brief, as my hands are still shaking. I will not deny I was scared, struggling to contain the fury of a multitude of creatures from across the world who demanded to speak to me. I feared violence if I refused them, both for myself and for the guards who were resolute in their defiance of the demands for entry. I granted them attendance, one at a time, and each carried the same message from their respective kingdoms and peoples; they were incapable of producing offspring, and had heard that the new princesses of Equestria had been responsible. I am not sure how they heard this information, yet it has spread throughout the known world, and even if it had been true, there would be no satiating the fury of a hundred species with mere denial. I drew upon Starswirl's teachings, and spoke in a manner I have found distasteful since he imparted upon me its morbid wisdom. Marechiavelli's literature may have been unpleasant, but it was necessary to avoid conflict and bloodshed, and so I informed the representatives that any retaliation against Equestria would doom their entire civilisation, and that extinction was not a suitable price for revenge. It was cold, and hard, and dispassionate, yet it gave them pause, which I needed to insist that I took full responsibility for this mistake, and would find a solution which I would share freely and willingly with the citizens of every civilisation. Some took more convincing than others, but by the end of the day, I had persuaded all of my visitors that it was in their interest to allow me time to devise a solution. My hands had stopped shaking by the twentieth visitor, yet they have started again as I climbed to my bedchamber, not out of fear, but the inescapable reality of what I have done. It is not merely ponies I have afflicted, but every creature in this world. Every sapient creature, every sentient being, every animal, potentially. This is unacceptable. By any other name and conducted by any other creature, it would be evil. I am not an evil mare, and I will not become one! I will not be the mare responsible for the world ceasing to exist out of hubris! I shall find a solution, and I shall fix this error. The process may be gone, and irretrievable, but it served a function, and the intelligence and wisdom of ponykind shall see that that function once again returns to the world. If I have to break myself to achieve it, I shall fix my mistake.

5th December 5 E.E.
It is done. I pushed myself further and harder than I did even in developping my banishing spell, and now I have a solution which has borne fruit. A sample of the prospective mother and father, be it a mane clipping, a feather, or a tuft of fur, can be combined and their vital essences extracted, which, in conjunction with various spells and compounds, allows for the development of an infant. My tests produced predictable and consistent results, and I have reached out to the known nations and peoples of the world to attend a conference where I shall share with them the resolution I have earnestly promised them, along with the terms to which they must acquiesce. Marechiavelli has made it clear that I must ensure I have leverage over those who wish to harm me and my subjects, and given their fury at my interference with their self-governance, as unintended as it may have been, there is good reason to believe I will need leverage. I shall inform them that with a receipt of a sample from the prospective mother and father, we shall bear the burden of producing infants and caring for them until their birth would naturally have occurred, at which stage they shall be delivered - again at our expense - to the donors. This shall, for all intents and purposes, be a reinstatement of the process of producing a child, with the additional benefit of avoiding the difficulties and struggles of pregnancy. Indeed, it is more certain, and more specific in its scope, allowing for a far greater outcome than if nature had been allowed to run its course. With the promise of a hands-off approach on the part of Equestria, and a pledge to honour our obligations to the signatories, there is no reason for the other nations to disagree, or to find fault. The only condition shall be that Equestria's sovereignty is respected, and that the process is allowed to remain classified as state secret belonging solely to the Kingdom of Equestria. I have no doubt that this shall be the most difficult point to sell to them, though they shall, ultimately, have no choice. I am a mare of my word, as I have shown, and my only demand is for peace in exchange for their species' continuation. It is not only a bulwark to all external threats, but a solution to any harm - their endeavour shall be their undoing, no matter how great their warriors or genrals. Their rememdy, should I fail to uphold my oath, will be the ire and incursion of the entire world, as expressed in the signing of the treaty to whom all shall bear witness at my conference. It is not unreasonable to protect my subjects and my kingdom, and requiring the other powers of the world to agree to peace in exchange for our utmost charity in such a laborious task is perfectly acceptable given the current circumstances. It may be unpleasant, but a ruler does not have the luxury of ruling in the world she desires, but the world she inhabits, and with the circumstances I have found myself in, all I seek is to remedy a grave oversight on my part, and to ensure peace and stability for my subjects. My regrets linger, and I cannot deny there was recklessness and a near-calamitous result to my efforts, but I believe that, ultimately, I have had a positive impact on this world. This new state of affairs, and my diplomatic and magical activities therein, have brought about perhaps the greatest peace this world has ever known or will ever know, such is its permanence. Countless species have been saved from extinction by my efforts, and with additional study, those who have become extinct may walk the world once more. Civilisations no longer need to fear famine or overpopulation, nor population collapse, because my work has provided a way forward, a means of controlling these messy and previously tenuous factors of life. The only risk I can see is that this information is the greatest danger that the world may ever encounter, and that means it cannot be allowed to fall into the wrong hands. The process I have developped must be kept secret, passed on to the very select few who are worthy of bearing the great responsibility of curating every civilisation and species, not for selfish gain, but for the good of all. That selection process will require a new devising and a meticulously organised structure, and I must see to it at once. Much as how Canterlot library has a restricted section, Equestria must have a restricted organisation dedicated to its continuation. I fear there is much to be done, but I set out on this path with hope and belief in myself and my subjects. The noble intentions with which I have embarked shall prevail, and in greater glory than they began.

10th February 6 E.E.
This is the first entry written at first instance into this diary, and it marks an end to the way things were, in my mind at least. There are no more pages from Luna and I's shared diary to remove, no further information to extract and discard, no writing which must be erased. Every previous entry in this diary was once written in plain ink in a mundane and standard journal, albeit one of personal and sentimental value, beholden to any eyes which chose to gaze upon it. It may have been rude to do so, and perhaps even scandalous for all parties involved, but it would never have been a matter of utmost danger, as it is now. That diary, the one Luna and I still share, is now inoffensive and safe, without risk of offending the aristocracy or exposing the secrets I have established. This diary contains every thought that cannot be expressed publicly to those outside my chosen circle, to whom I am eternally grateful. There were more than I anticipated, though still few enough to be extraordinarily remarkable in their character. They understood, as I did, the threat that such knowledge as I have assessed must be kept hidden poses to this entire world, and they are unfaltering in their dedication to its safekeeping. They work tirelessly, assisting in the nurturing of the newly created infants, from inception to delivery, and have provided wonderful and ingenious schemes to ensure that this necessary procedure continues smoothly. Some have created instruments, items, tools, and chemicals for this purpose, while others have sped the means by which donations are received and children distributed to their rightful parents. Every day, they improve the production of griffon cubs, of pony foals, of kirins and breezies and every creature who requests our efforts, and every day, the world grows more bountiful. Publicly, I have given a royal decree for the study of nature and its creatures, encouraging and contributing to this ambitious exploration for knowledge for the betterment of Equestrian society and the world in which we live. I have received no fewer than eight requests to attend banquets in my honour, each invitation overflowing with exaltations of my wisdom and majesty, and while I cannot truly take full credit for this path upon which Equestria is placed, I must confess I am flattered by the admiration of my subjects. It is for them I strive, and to learn of their appreciation is heartwarming and invigorating, and reinforces my conviction whenever that swirling, flickering dimness of doubt whispers at the back of my mind. My subjects do not truly understand what I do for their sake, neither the nobility who offer their own patronage to such causes as I propose, nor the commoners who sing songs of my divinity and grace, and for all the beauty in their offerings, the partial knowledge from which their sentiment arises brings with it a feather-light cloak of discomfort. I can embrace their affections, accept their belief in me as a saviour for resolving the libido crises which shook the world briefly and acutely and their love for my contributions towards our great and prosperous country, even if this is my sworn duty as a princess and their ruler, but some of the actions I must undertake in my role is the harder sentiment with which I must contend. Without its existence, there is no purpose to the knowledge regarding libido or sexuality, save to risk embitterment and conflict. After sacrificing so much in pursuit of peace, I cannot risk conflict arising over this lost aspect of our being, and so with a heavy heart, I know I must remove that knowledge from the creatures of our world. It feels improper to discard books and scrolls in such a way, yet even as I do so, I meet no resistance. Already, ponykind is indifferent to the seizure and removal of tomes regarding sexual reproduction, their interest in that topic having departed with their lust. To most, they are merely relics of a bygone time, even if that time can be measured in months. There is no sentimental attachment to the bodily urges and acts which once constituted our deepest and most depraved of relationships, and I believe most have largely forgotten that they once enaged in such acts at all. Despite the ease of this adjustment and the painlessness of the transition from a lustful to a lustless society, I cannot help but feel melancholic for that which I have disposed so totally. In a few generations, perhaps even as few as three, if my plans continue at their current pace, all memories and knowledge of sex shall have vanished from the world, like a lingering spectre fully dissipating and passing into the beyond. When that time comes, I shall have left entirely behind a world into which I was born - that in itself sets me apart from this new world - and entered one which, although identical in many of its qualities, will be fundamentally different on a vital level. Nevertheless, that is the price of progress and stability, and my sentimental attachments are secondary to the needs and interests of my subjects. I would always on some level be aside and apart from the world over which I presided, both as an alicorn whose life spans epochs and as a ruler whose responsibilities span planetary bodies, and my attachment to the world in the sate it was at the time I entered it is perhaps the closest sentiment I share in common with my subjects. As they fade from the world and their attachments with them, I cannot allow my own attachments to anchor me to a past which does not meaningfully exist. My duty requires me to detach and let go, but that does not mean that I must be utterly destructive in my duties. All that must be done to secure this hard-won peace is to isolate the knowledge from the outside world, and so a vault of the forbidden subject would serve as suitable a soltion as mass burnings. This depository of knowledge will ubdoutedly serve my chosen circle well in their labours, since they have proven themselves to be trustworthy and loyal. I shall have a chamber constructed at once for this purpose.

3rd March 8 E.E.
It has been over two years since my last entry, which speaks wonders of the success of my schemes. There has been nothing to write about which could not be said in my diary with Luna, or recorded in publicly available accounts. The Entrusted - the chosen circle of ponies with whom I embarked upon this great endeavour - have perfected the infancy process, and preside over an increased membership of loyal and hard workers, in addition to the societies and institutions which have bounded into being for the noble pursuits of learning and discovery. There is no society which I can name which does not have at least one of my trusted disciples at its head, utilising each and every new discovery to improve our processes and objectives. We have moved beyond ensuring the continuation of ponies and griffons and dragons, but also all animal life. We are now stewards of this great world, and we meet that greatest of responsibilities with unfaltering conviction. I can still scarcely believe how much has improved since I pledged to keep Luna safe from the pernicious claws of lustful ponies; birth rates are measured and controlled, with records kept of every family in our realm. All their needs can be met, their suffering alleviated far more efficiently should it ever arise. The frequent flight of storks across the world has allowed for far better communication and diplomacy than I had ever envisiaged as a filly, and I believe that the Pillars themselves would be proud of my accomplishment in that field. I miss them still, but I take comfort in what I have achieved and accomplished in their name. Without them, Luna and I could never have become the mares we are today, and not a day passes where I am not grateful for their tender care and tutorship. Truthfully, Luna has been a pillar in her own right, a buttress and support without whom I would be a far lesser ruler. Without her, I never would have had the conviction to do what was right, and without that, we would not have this peace and prosperity which has consequently arose. That is, of course, not a universal fact; the loss of the Crystal Empire is a tragedy which cannot be understated, nor Luna's injury during the battle against Sombra. She has recovered quickly, as is expected, but I cannot help but fear for her wellbeing, even with the assurance of the royal physician and her colleagues. No pony ought to be exposed to dark magic like that, least of all my sister, and I can still see the moment she was struck with that awful beam, the black mist that shrouded her eyes, and feel that deep, icy terror gripping my heart. I must confess that I feel responsible for this outcome. If I had decided to petrify Sombra, as Luna and I did with Discord, would this have ended differently? If that corrupted king had been bound in stone, would the Crystal Empire still stand today? Would Luna have been hurt? I am not certain, but the possibilities scamper about inside my head, refusing to leave me alone. That was why I returned to this journal, and what I have seen has restored my hope and dampened those questions. What I have done, I have always done for the good of my subjects, and most of all, for Luna. My choices are, and always have been, motivated by her. Whatever I do, I know that I have done so in her interest. Knowing that, I can face any obstacle, and calm the doubts which arise intermittently to challenge my resolve.

22nd June 8 E.E.
Luna is gone. I have cried and cried, and I cannot cry any more. My staff know, but I do not care. I should care. I must be strong for my subjects, be the fearless, ceaseless ruler they deserve, but I could not stop the pain from bursting out of me. Now, I have no more to give, no more energy to weep or sob, and no more tears to wipe from my face. It is all my fault. I should have known this would happen. I should have stopped Sombra sooner, I should have been better, I should have known she would fall They shall have their dutiful princess. In short order, I shall learn to smile again, and I shall force that split across my face for their benefit. In time, I shall become accustomed to the absence and the agony of it. Right now, from this very moment, I shall perform every duty required of me. There shall be no break or respite for me, because there is no respite from duty. What is the point? I want to leave, to fly and fly until I discover some new world where this pain cannot follow. This is my burden, and it is well-deserved. There were innumerable signs, but I refused to listen. I was too arrogant, too assured, and what has happened to my dearest sister is the consequence of my actions. I played with fire, and now I must live with the burn I received. Everything I did, I believed I did for Luna. Was I doing it for me all along? Starswirl might have known, or maybe not, but he would have been wise enough to prevent me from my course. He was wise enough to do so. He cautioned me before he knew what I was attempting, and he was, as he always was, correct. It should be Luna standing here, and me trapped in some cold and lonely prison for my crimes. It should be, but it is not. I cannot work with what is not. That, I have learned the hard way. My subjects await.

31st October 950 E.E.
When I first learned of Ponyville's tradition of "Nightmare Night", I had to hide my disgust. It was not an insult to me, nor an attempt at mockery or caricature, and so I had no cause to interfere. Still, the memory of my sister's twisted, sneering face was sharp in my mind, and I ran cold with dread and dredged-up mourning. I couldn't help myself but examine out of a unpleasant curiosity what occurred on these nights, quietly observing the sleepy town and its perculiar custom, and as I did so, I noticed small, subtle details, easily dismissed as coincidence or an overactive imagination. I believe the Equestrian Society of Pony Psychology calls it "Apophenia", though the Equestrian Astrological Association confirmed my observations, so this can't be a product of pure imagination. Every Nightmare Night, the same constellation flickers, always in a particular order. There is no known reason why this happens, and it has not been recorded prior to my observation. I have consulted many tomes on magic from the libraries and archives, and with the notes I made by my side, I observed the stars again tonight. I am not sure how to react to what I have seen. Joyous? Terrified? Dispassionate? From what ponykind knows of magic, and the patterns present on this specific date, there is only one conclusion I can draw, and it seems both too awful and too serendipitous to be true. If Luna is to escape her imprisonment and return to Equestria, it will be on the longest day of the thousandth year of her banishment. If I had predicted this nine ceturies ago, it would have been obvious that my desires were overriding my reason, yet our comprehension of magic has developped in leaps and bounds since that time, and I am now confident to say that this is a very real and likely prospect. Still, it seems to be a gift to me, a chance to see Luna again and return to the loving days when we ruled side-by-side. I miss her more than I can write in words, and I want nothing more than for that to be true, but I have to consider what her return would truly mean. Firstly, there is the obvious issue of her corruption. When she was banished, it was in the form of Nightmare Moon, and I know that this will not have changed in her absence. If Luna returns, Nightmare Moon returns with her, and so does the threat she poses to the entire world. This must be resolved, and permanently. I shall not lose Luna a second time. To that end, I must study the Elements of Harmony further, learn what else they can do, and what must be done to utilise them to their fullest. I shall look to the great academies and schools to find those attuned to magic, and see if I can find a unicorn whose ability may unlock the Elements' greatest feats. The fate of Equestria may well rest on this. The second matter is equally distant and immediate, and I shall raise the issue with the Entrusted at our next meeting. If a pony may return from banishment of their own accord, does this mean that all banishments are temporary measures? It is a prospect which concerns me, given the foes which reside in various states of banishment, and it raises serious questions about the efficacy of Equestria's solution to existential threats. These issues must be addressed with urgent consideration, even if the resolution takes generations to accomplish. Perhaps a compilation of the observations I have made is in order? A book about predictions and prophecies would be a fine addition to my tower, and it has been a long time since I have written academically. If nothing else, it will help order my thoughts about this discovery, and allow me a way to process my options.

22nd June 1008 E.E.
A thousand years is still a long time, even for alicorns, but reuniting with Luna felt as if we had never been apart. I was afraid she would reject me, that she would become embittered or lash out in anger, but the vanquishing of Nightmare Moon and Luna's reformation utterly flushed her of her corruption and envy. She was renewed, reinvigorated, and completely unharmed, both in body and mind. For the first time in a millennium, I cried, and she cried with me. Twilight has brought me more joy and hope than she can ever realise, and I can't truly repay her that debt. Without her and her friends, Equestria would be a darker place, literally and figuratively. All of Equestria owes them a great debt. The Elements of Harmony are rightfully theirs now, both as possessions and sources of empowerment. Their relationship with the Tree's fruits are more symbiotic than Luna and I's relationship with them, and it was undoutedly for that reason that the Elements were so effective, why they worked when all I could manage was to bring to bear their raw power. The Pillars would be proud of this day, and I believe that they would approve of their successors' successors. I certainly do. Luna and I shared the day together, rekindling our sisterhood and making up for the lost years. She deserves the authority that I have returned to her, but I must admit that it will be a relief for me to halve my duties. It feels as though a great weight has been lifted from me, and I no longer feel oppressed by the encroaching dread that permeated every day. Perhaps I was wrong about the inevitability of the failure of banishments, and the danger that posed? I never wanted to send Luna away, and perhaps that was conveyed when I cast the banishment, giving Luna a means to return? I'm not sure, but I'm far too happy to ponder over what is now firmly in the past. For Luna and I, the only road is forward, and we will share that future together.

2nd June 1010 E.E.
The changelings should never have been able to attack Canterlot, but their arrival was co-ordinated, strategic, and overwhelming. The invasion required a population in excess of what our projections allowed, even with the most optimistic estimates. There were many within the Entrusted who believed the changelings were extinct following their departure from the Canterlot Accords one hundred and thirty eight years ago, with the only possible explanations for their continued existence being hibernation or a very cautious and isolated lifestyle. Their aggression was not in keeping with behaviours expected of a critically endangered species, not even as a desperate last-ditch effort to secure resources. These changelings were new, which means they were bred. Three possibilities exist, none of which bode well. The first is that the infant generation process has been discovered and replicated, almost certainly by espionage. If this is the case, the most likely culprit would be the changelings themselves. The second possibility is that the process has been provided to the changelings by a traitor, meaning that I would need to re-evaluate the entirety of the Entrusted and redetermine their loyalty and trustworthiness, which jeopardises the creation of all infant creatures. The third possibility is that the changelings have devised a means of circumventing the cessation of reproductive function, and have managed to develop another way to procreate. As demonstrated by their attempted invasion of Canterlot, uncontrolled repoduction would spell disaster for the rest of the world, who do not have the advantage of self-reliant reproduction. Although all of these possibilities are severe, my greatest fear is the third option, as it would explain why communication from the griffons and the hippogriffs have decreased in recent years. Previously, I had not thought of it as a major matter, but given the arrival of unexplained numbers of changelings, this may be a symptom of a much larger problem. Decisive action must be taken, but as with all things in leadership, the action must be directed and appropriate. I must investigate this situation and determine what course is best for Equestria. In addition to allowing me to decide which action to take, it will alleviate the worries that are prodding at me. Currently, I am fretting about the waning of the banishment I cast, as irrational as that may be. There is no proof that the banishment is fading, but the mass production of a changeling population without my knowledge cannot just be hand-waved away, and if in fact this is what is happening, a plan must be prepared. If the banishment is fading, then what would that mean for international relations, and Equestria's sovereignty? As we have already seen, a species outside of Equestria's benevolent restraints may simply decide to disregard our status as sapient beings and march to war, whether the victims be ponies or any other countless civilisations. We have not witnessed war in so many generations, and I have no desire to see it emerge for the first time under my rulership. Perhaps the banishment wasn't truly a banishment, but a suppression of all natural urges? Could that be the case? It certainly sounds more likely that our biology was suppressed rather than an aspect of our existence vanished into the ether, now that I consider it. I'm not sure, and I'm worrying again, creating scenarios in my head as if I don't have enough to focus on. I shall deal with this matter pragmatically and level-headedly, and not engage in flights of fancy.

30th July 1010 E.E.
I was brought urgent news that the Crystal Empire had returned this morning, and I immediately sent for Shining Armor, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and the Element Bearers. I have had to prioritise the immediate concerns first, but with all of the pieces in play, I have time to consider the implications of its return. I have complete faith in my student and her friends, as I do in Cadence and Shining Armor, but my fears now lay in the near future. Whether or not the spell I cast a millennium ago was banishment or suppression is irrelevent. Every banishment and imprisonment has suffered the inevitable effects of entropy and collapsed, from Nightmare Moon to Discord and now to the Crystal Empire itself. In the best case scenario, the libido of every creature on this planet was indeed banished, and as with every other example of banishment, the citizens of our world have been spared the suffering that they would otherwise have endured, and instead thrived in the absence of whatever tyranny and cruelty would have existed. Even in this case, in which I banished rather than suppressed all libidos across the planet, there is an endpoint, a final moment in which containment is effective, before it collapses and that constrained entity is unleashed once more upon the world. I am faced with an inevitability I never thought - or wanted to think - I would have to face; lust will return to Equestria, and all its effects and impacts will preside again over the creatures of this planet. Unlike Nightmare Moon, unlike Discord, and unlike Sombra, what can the heroes of Equestria do to stand against it? There is no foe to fight, no evil to overcome, just the presence of a naturally occurring impulse. Perhaps, as with Discord, it could be struck down again in an identical manner, but then what? How long will it remain away before returning? I like to think that I have grown wiser in my many years of rule since I so recklessly dismissed a part of every creature's nature, and something within me is telling me that it would be wrong to repeat my previous action. There would be benefits, even, to allowing nature to take its course; the Entrusted would no longer need to work tirelessly to keep species alive, there would be no need to suppress and censor information about sex, and most importantly, my subjects would be free, liberated from the shackles that I have clamped so readily about their hooves and wrists. I have the chance to do the right thing. Twilight and her friends have shown me that we have come a long way, that there is hope and prospect for a harmonious kingdom beyond my established order. If I allow nature to take its course, I know she will find a way to offset the problems it will cause. We will have the best of both worlds, and I will no longer need to lie to my subjects to keep them safe. Still, I dread what that day will bring. It will be messy. If Twilight is to hope to succeed in stabilising Equestria, she will need to be better prepared, in a position of better authority and readiness, and for that, she must be taught and trained. I will further her education immediately, and impart on her everything she will need to deal with this mess I have created situation for which I am responsible.

1st July 1011 E.E.
It has happened far earlier than I had hoped, though not entirely unexpectedly. I was roused at the stroke of midnight not by any external source, without fatigue, and I knew what this meant. The feeling of parts of my body reawakening after a thousand years of disuse was not painful, but it was certainly odd, and disconcerting. It was almost as if a numb limb were returning to full function, passing through the absence of feeling to the buzzing sensation as operation returned, and finally to a slow, inexorable drip of heat, like sand falling steadily in a timer. I will call Shining Armor, I will order him to refuse anypony except Princess Twilight into the castle, who I will require to be brought to the library should she arrive. I shall leave the key to the forbidden chamber for her to find, and allow her to discover this truth which I have kept hidden for so many generations. I was going to have to tell her sooner or later, but I had been hoping it would be later, and that I would be able to tell her personally, in a calm and private environment. There's that hubris of mine again, always believing I had more control over a situation than I truly did, or at the very least, ignoring the uncomfortable truths. As scared as I am for my subjects, I can at least take consolation in that it will be much, much worse for me; the heat in my loins is growing at a staggering rate, and I can feel the flush on my face. Everypony in Equestria will be facing the feedback of their lifetime of neglected lust, but for most, that will be at most a few decades, and less for many more. I will have to deal with the hundreds upon hundreds of years of inactivity, the generations' worth of abstinence, and I have no doubt it will be agony. I wish this didn't have to happen, that I'd been wiser or found a better solution than I did, but I know I can't change that now. I pray that everypony remains safe, and that whatever punishment the comsos sees fit to inflict upon me remains centred on me, and not my subjects or my family. Luna is safe in her room, asleep, and I shall ensure she remains so, entrenched in her realm of dreams until the backlash has passed, safe and sound, as she always should have been. She has suffered enough, and even faced now with the full consequence of my hubris, I shall not let the hundreds of years of neglect ravish her, as they shall ravish me. She deserves better. They all deserve better than this. Twilight deserves better than this, but all I can offer her now is this diary. I will leave this for her, among the other tomes I once thought to hide away. She will need them all. Twilight, if you are reading this, I am so, so sorry. I will explain everything to you once this ordeal is finished, but for now, please read everything, and try to understand why I did what I did. I can only apologise for being such a foolish old mare, and hope for your forgiveness one day.