Swag Life ft. Sab

by RainDevour

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Tragedy, Random, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 940

Sabastian goes to Equestria

Sabastian goes on an adventure.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-26 15:05:53 UTC

Equestria op

It was a bright and sunny day in Spring Valley PIECE OF SIGHGIT High School. Sabastian walks out of the classroom after fucking 20 girls feeling proud of himself. He decides to wait by the "usual" spot where his friends. And of course, Nathan "coolguyswagboihomie42069 " Woo shows up looking fresh and beautiful today. Hell, everyone loves this guy, he's just so handsome, and so cool, and so handsome. And cool.

"'eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," Sabastian greeted.

"Sup?" Nathan "coolguyswagboihomie42069" Woo responded.

"Nothing much dawg, you know me, fucked about 20 girls last period, en pee en pee," Sabastian answered

"DAMN, shame I'm such a fucking loser like Aaron that I only fucked 1, and it was a guy too" Nathan said in despair.

"Speaking of people you can fuck, there's Celest, why don't you go talk to her?" Sabastian suggested

"Oh yeah? There's your girlfriend right over there," Nathan smirked, pointing at Stephanie Land, who was conversing with Kira and other fatties.

"Oh so it's like tha- OH SHIT AARON's coming HIDE!" Sabastian panicked.

It was too late, Aaron "Faggot" Chan was already heading their way. His little bitchass was already stanking up the place. What an ass, not to mention a low Elo scrub.

"HAY GAIS, DON'T MIND ME, I'MA BE ChILLIN HERE DAWAG, YOLO, SWAG, GUCCI, REPRESENT" Aaron announced.

"Riiiiiiiight, welp I gotta hit the hay you know talk to me on Skype and we'll pwn some noobs on LoL, peace" Sabastian quickly said.

"Come on man don't leave me with this guy," Nathan whispered.

"Later" Sabastian said without any thought

"Fuck you"

Sabastian walked out of his school and went n his usual way. He phone beeped and displayed "new text". Sabastian reads "I cannot pick you up today, your sister is fucking cray dwag, -love mom".

"FAWK! Now I have to walk. You fucking kidding me." Sabastian yelled.

Other people started noticing Sabastian's outrage. Sabastian also noticed he was attracting attention, and they were not interested in his dick. Sabastian silenty walked away whistling like a faggot on Skype does.

Halfway to his house, Sabastian noticed something. It was a little station that had the title swag. It had an appearance of an ATM. Sabastian decides to look at it. He simply puts his hand over it and on the screen displayed:

"Sabastian M. Diaz"

Swag Points: 24900

"What would you like to purchase?"

A hotdog: 500

A dildo: 2000

Ass monkey: 4000

A LoL Tutor: 10000

A Person Who Could Help Aaron With His Faggotry: Insufficient amount.

The list goes on and on.

"Whoa, 24k swag points? SHIIIIIIIIIIIIET" Sabastian exclaimed.

"Oh man, THIS IS TIIIIGHT"

Then Sabastian noticed something near the bottom

"Portal to Equestria: 25000"

"WOW, I'm 100 away?" Sabastian complained.

Sabastian decided he had to do something to earn at least 100 swag points and looks around. He notices Jimaine Garcia who happened to be walking by. It's a good thing Sabastian trimmed his pubes, it allowed more space for his balls to grow. He waved at Jimarine and winked. Jimarine nervously smiled response, shyly waving back.

She wants it.

"Swag points updating"

"Sabastian M. Diaz"

Swag Point: Almost as close as Nathan (26,000)

Alright, let's see what kind of business this Equestria thing got for me.

The kiosk transforms into some oval looking shape, similar to Portal's portal (worst description NA). Sabastian steps in curious of what await for him.

Sabastian immediately teleports to what looks like a...Ponyville?

"What the beep*? Wait what? Did it just *beep*ing beep me? DA *beep*, since when can you not cuss? This is *beep*ing bull*beep*. Woooow." Sabastian said.

"Who are you?" A Pink Party Pony Mare questioned obviously never seeing this type of species.

"Uhh, hi?" Sabastian replied in response.

Pinkie Pie pulls out from what seems like a microphone and announces "HEY EVERYPONY, LOOK AT THIS WEIRDO I'VE JUST FOUND".

"Whoa whoa" Sabsatian replied in shock

"HE'S SO WEIRD," Pinkie Pie acknowledged.

"Hey, can you be a little more quiet?," Sabastian asked

"I MEAN SERIOUSLY, LOOK AT HIS HOOVES, OR WHATEVER THOSE ARE"

"No seriously, shut the fuck up," Sabastian commanded, annoyed.

Pinkie Pie was successful at attracting attention. Sabastian decided to just run, leaving the approaching ponies curious. They decided not to give chase.

"*Beep*," Sabastian panted.

" I need to hide"

Sabastian approached to what looked like a barn. He heard some voices inside. Then he noticed Aaron at the window, stuck.

"BRO HELP ME OUT" Aaron cried out desperately

"HAhahha, fatty," Sabastian smirked

"DUDE SRSLY, I'M ABOUT TO GET RAPED," Aaron commanded in a serious tone.

"Wait wait, how'd you even get here," Sabastian wondered.

"I don't know,  I saw a portal as I was stalking you and decided to go in it," Aaron answered.

"WAIT WTF? You stalked me?" Sabastan yelled in surprise.

"DUDE JUST HELP ME OUT!" Aaron stated for the third time.

"Ok what's your Elo?" Sabastian asked

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" Aaron responded

"What's your Elo?" Sabastian asked, not joking.

"I'm only Bronze ok? You happy?" Aaron hesitated.

"Welp, later, I can't be hanging out with low Elo scrubs like you," Sabastian explained, not giving a fuck.

"WHAT, NO PLEASE" Aaron begged

"Whoa there, loverboy, where do you think you're going?" Applejack giggled.

"YOU KNOW WHAT SABASTIAN, I HOPE YOU FUCKKNG CHOKE ON MY INTESTINES YOU LITTlE CUNT, I NEVER FUCKING LIKE YOU, ONLY NATHAN WAS COOL, AND JEZ AND SOMETIMES CHRISTIAN, AND NATHAN" Aaron yelled making sure to give Sabastian a message.

"Aight, peace, have fun," Sabastian walked away, disregarding everything Aaron said.

Sabastian walked away hearing feminine laughs and a girly scream.

To be continued.