Part 1/2 - "Hearts Weeping, Friendships Leaping"
Part 1/2 - "Hearts Weeping, Friendships Leaping"
Today was a particularly extremely fun day for the always enthusiastic Pinkie Pie. Not only were she and her 6 'bestest friends in the whole world' going to spend three whole fun-filled days camping near the Tree of Harmony - the beacon of their friendship - but she was especially excited for Twilight's promise of a joyful friendship retreat.
Like the alicorn had mentioned earlier, all the girls had been so busy with running the newly formed School of Friendship that they barely had any time to just relax and spend quality time together as friends. Pinkie loved her third job teaching all the creatures of Equestria and beyond - she really did - but she also noticed the decline in the group's personal time lately; besides, any excuse to have fun with her friends was guaranteed to be approved by her.
The peppy pink party pony began bouncing around as she began to imagine all the fun activities they could do together - that is once the group was reunited as they were apparently split up within the confines of the Everfree Forest.
This didn't bother the pink bundle of energy though as she knew they would all be found soon.
"Then we can do friendship trust falls, eat tons of marshmallows and tell cool stories, play hide and seek...." her mind began rattling on as she hoped to find her remaining friends along the way.
Besides, she already found one of them anyways.
Indeed, right next to the energetic earth pony walked a lavender alicorn who appeared to be...annoyed?
"Huh, I wonder why Twilight's acting so much grumpier than usual? She was fine earlier. And why does her coat seem to be a darker color? And her mane looks frazzled for some reason?"
Pinkie began contemplating the strange state of her friend but decided to brush it off with a layer of optimism.
"She's probably as excited to start this retreat as I am! I mean, she did plan it after all. But why is she all the sudden so focused on finding the Tree of Harmony? She acts like she's never heard of it..."
Truthfully, when she had discovered her friend, Twilight all the sudden became focused on 'rounding up the others' until the topic of the Tree of Harmony came into question. The rather irritated alicorn began questioning what the tree was and what it's source of power was before she demanded the pink pony take her to it. Pinkie herself would've found this behavior strange but she figured this was all some sort of friendship activity where she was tested on her knowledge of friendship.
And wanting to prove that she knew her friendship, Pinkie declared she would take the purple princess to the tree herself, all while recounting the history regarding the tree. Pinkie was going to win this game no matter what.
She began reminiscing about the time where the Elements had battled Tirek and opened up the chest that the tree had bestowed upon them (all while including over-the-top physical props) as Twilight marched beside her silently.
"And then we all grew super-long manes with all kinds of colors, and your castle grew out of the ground, and everypony was like, 'Whoa!' And then we sang this song about rainbows, and..." she recapped with her traditional enthusiasm before a faint, yet heavy sobbing sound filled her ears.
She began searching for the sound of the painful crying before her eyes focused on a view that shattered her big cupcake-loving heart into smithereens.
There, in the middle of an open patch of forest, laid the form of Fluttershy uncontrollably weeping as she huddled into her own hooves, her whole body shaking with each painful choke.
Pinkie's whole cheerful demeanor diminished upon seeing the broken state of her friend. Fluttershy was the sweetest, kindest, and most loving pony in all of Equestria (at least according to Pinkie), and to see that same pegasus now so clearly distraught made the normally perky pony explode with worry.
"She never ever deserves to be sad! Well, no one deserves to be sad - but especially her!"
Pinkie immediately leapt over to Fluttershy's side, which unknowingly annoyed a scowling Twilight.
"Fluttershy! What's wrong?" the pink pony asked, her brows deeply etched in concern.
The heartbroken pegasus rose her head up, displaying her tear-filled eyes as she barely coughed up a response in her fit of tears.
"Every creature is mad at me!"
The earth pony gasped in complete and utter shock. Sure, she had seen her rather sensitive friend be upset before, but she swore she had almost never seen her this upset before. The pegasus's sobs returned to full volume as her whole body began quivering, drawing Pinkie back to reality.
"What?! That can't be right!" she retaliated incredulously as she sat down and immediately picked up the weeping pony in her grasp, holding the shaking body close to her as she delivered a warm embrace.
Pinkie wanted to be happy right now. She wanted to be playing games and laughing with her friends on this retreat, but the devastated form of the usually kind pegasus managed to break her out of her happy form and replace it with a deep-seeded compassion to make her feel better.
As she held the pegasus close, she tried to comprehend the meaning of her friend's words.
"How can anyone be mad at Fluttershy? She's like the physical embodiment of puppies, cupcakes, and rainbows combined. She'd never do anything to purposely hurt someone."
Then, suddenly, after a silent moment of her trying to comfort the butterscotch pegasus, she was interrupted by a certain string of words that she'd never expect a certain alicorn to ever say - especially with one of her best friends in an emotional breakdown.
There stood an annoyed Twilight which brought everypony to a screeching halt.
"Can we hurry this up? We're on a schedule here!"
Pinkie's eyes froze in bafflement as she looked away from the crying form in her hold.
"How could Twilight say that to her friend? To Fluttershy? Doesn't she care? And why is her coat still different?"
"Twilight, your schedule can wait! Fluttershy's upset." Pinkie shot a warning glare at the princess in front of her, still maintaining much of her bewilderment before leaning her head back in to nuzzle Fluttershy, whose eyes opened up slightly.
Pinkie wondered how Twilight could even worry about her retreat at a time like this - when one of her friends was pouring her heart out. Wasn't this retreat supposed to be about friendship after all? What kind of a friend scowled and ignored another in need?
"Well, tell her to get over it! I'll go get the others. Stay here!" Twilight bitterly barked as she stomped away in obvious anger.
All the pink pony could do was glare disappointingly at the retreating form while refocusing her efforts on trying to make her friend feel better. Fun and games could wait after all; this sweet, gentle mare was in her hooves and she wouldn't let her down.
After several long minutes of the kind-hearted pegasus's crying and sniffling, her vocal displays of heartache seemed to begin calming down significantly, indicating to the rather worried Pinkie Pie that it was perhaps time to transition into figuring out what exactly went wrong.
As one hoof was softly petting Fluttershy's pink mane, she used her other front hoof to bring the pegasus's face so that it directly faced her own.
"There, there. Don't listen to Twilight, I have no idea what's going on with her. What's going on, Flutty-Buddy? Why do you think every creature is mad at you?"
Fluttershy regarded her friend's warm, yet worried expression before she began nuzzling into the earth pony's warm chest.
"Oh, Pinkie! Today has been awful!" she sniffed. "I found a lost baby bird and placed it back into its nest but then I found myself lost from everypony else. I began to panic before I spotted Rainbow and asked her to help me, but all she did was take off and leave me alone in the woods! Then I found some more animals in the forest and tried to ask for help, but they all hissed and growled at me, calling me a 'bully' and a 'heartless jerk'! Then, they surrounded me and I got upset - until you and Twilight showed up, and she... she... she yelled at me!" she tearfully concluded as the sobs picked back up again.
Pinkie sat there speechless as she tightened the hug around the animal-lover pony. None of this was making any sense to her - yet she could only watch as her friend broke down again. The earth pony slowly found a few tears in her eyes as she stared off into the distance of the forest for a good moment.
"How is this even possible?! Animals are mad at Fluttershy?! They love her - it's her passion! Then Rainbow abandons her when she's the most loyal pony I know! Then Twilight gets all mad and storms off to focus on her schedule! Something's not right here, it's almost like everything is the opposite..."
Fluttershy soon found her voice again as her shaky tone quickly redrew the attention of the sometimes scatterbrained pony.
"Everyone hates me! The animals, my friends... I'm all alone. No one wants to be around me anymore! Everyone wants me gone! No one loves me anymore! I'm all alone! I'm alone! Everyone..."
Fluttershy muttered in rapid fashion before an overwhelming amount of shaking and hyperventilating quickly made Pinkie retract the hug she had held her friend in as she quickly stepped back in fright.
The pegasus - still in the midst of tears falling down her cheeks - had a hoof placed over her chest as she started to violently pant, almost like she was grasping for air as her whole body vibrated.
"Flutters...?" Pinkie shakily mumbled, unsure of what was going on as she felt her own insides began to shake. She had no idea what to do, but one look at Fluttershy's panicking form told her she needed to do something and she needed to do it now!
Then, Pinkie's mind began to retract to a certain word, "panic".
As if a sudden bolt of lightning had zapped her wacky and candy-coated head, Pinkie suddenly gained a powerful series of flashbacks as she began remembering her sister, Marble Pie on the rock farm.
Marble, much like Fluttershy, was a very introverted and timid creature who often preferred to keep to herself. In fact, Marble may actually be worse off than the Element of Kindness as Pinkie could remember her sister on multiple occasions had developed severe cases of anxiety when spotlighted in public or in very stressful situations. Heck, Pinkie could remember multiple times where Marble slowly became unable to breathe as her whole body seemed to collapse. Her and the rest of the family would calm Marble down with their parents' instructions - not really knowing what was going on until their father had explained what a panic attack was.
Everything suddenly clicked, as Pinkie took another glance at Fluttershy, slowly seeing her transform into her sister in her mind.
"Is... is she having a panic attack?"
Pinkie's prediction became very likely as Fluttershy continued to clutch her chest and tearfully grasp for air. With her eyes widened and a determined look soon on her face, the earth pony knew what she had to do.
"Shhhh... it's ok.." she spoke gently as she slowly approached the trembling form. "I'm going to be right here, I'm not going anywhere. I need you to focus on taking a deep breath in..." she demonstrated, softly breathing in a gasp-full of air. "...and then let it out." she concluded. The yellow pegasus, seeing her friend, slowly began following Pinkie's movements and instructions as they were repeated in a soothing manner.
"Breathe in."
"And out."
"Breathe in."
"And out."
"Breathe in."
"And out."
After several long minutes of following the process, Fluttershy had completely stopped shaking as her breathing and posture returned to normal function. Sure, she still looked miserable (even with the tears being forgotten for the moment) but Pinkie counted this as progress knowing her friend wouldn't overwhelm herself again.
"Feeling a little bit better?" Pinkie softly asked as she wrapped a hoof around the pegasus's frame.
Fluttershy managed to give a weak smile as she nodded.
"Good." Pinkie quietly exclaimed, giving off a warm smile before it transcended into a serious and worried frown.
"Now I'm not sure what's up with the animals, but something tells me Dashie and Twily aren't acting like their usual selves. I know for a fact they wouldn't normally say stuff like that to you. They're our friends and I know they don't hate you."
Fluttershy's smile slowly turned back into a depressed frown as she once again positioned herself so that she could bury her head in Pinkie's soft chest.
"Everyone's probably finally sick of me! What if they don't want me around anymore?!" she fearfully exclaimed, though thankfully no more tears came as she finally seemed to be spent out from before.
The pink earth pony gently rubbed a comforting hoof down the pegasus's smooth back as she carefully rested her head in the long pink mane.
"Well, I know that's definitely not true. Even if Rainbow and Twilight and the others felt that way - which I'm sure they don't - everyone couldn't hate you. I will never hate you, you're one of the best ponies I know."
The pegasus's body physically hardened as the earth pony could feel her head shake in a 'no' like fashion.
"Y-you're just saying that..." she weakly sniffed.
Pinkie's eyes widened as she felt the sting of tears threaten her again.
"She really doesn't know how special she is?!... to me?!"
Pinkie suddenly ceased her comforting motions as she leaned back to grab Fluttershy's head with her front hooves, guiding it so it was at eye level with her own. A concerned brow displayed on Pinkie's face as she and her friend stared directly at each other - Pinkie now noticing how red and puffy the other mare's eyes were.
"How can you think that?! You're the best! You're like a vanilla cupcake with the sweetest pink frosting."
Fluttershy sniffled at the compliment as she looked away from Pinkie's worried gaze, her focus instead on the grass below them.
"Y-you don't have to lie to make me feel better..." she hesitated before a pink mane came directly into contact with her face, prompting the pegasus's eyes to stare back at her friend.
"Fluttershy, please stop! I'm telling the truth here. How can I..." she paused before an idea struck.
"Flutter-butter, I'm going to make a Pinkie Promise here and now that what I'm about to say to you is nothing but the complete and honest truth. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Ok?"
The pegasus's eyes widened in shock. She knew how seriously Pinkie took the patented 'Pinkie Promise' so she had to be telling the truth. Fluttershy nodded her head in understanding.
Pinkie gave a soft smirk before her serious face returned, beginning her speech.
"Fluttershy, from the very first day I met you and for the rest of my life, you have and always will be one of the kindest, sweetest, wisest, friendliest, beautiful and most-loving ponies I have ever met."
Fluttershy's eyes sparkled as a large smile slowly crept across her face, continuing to listen with full interest.
"You will always make me smile by just being yourself. The way your smile lights up any room, the soft and gentle hugs you give that can make anyone feel nice and calm, the way in which you to try to see the good in everyone and offer them your kindness, the care and compassion you put into taking care of any and all animals throughout Ponyville and beyond - all of these traits show me just how much of an amazing pony you are."
"P-pinkie..." Fluttershy softly whispered, taken back by the sentimental words her usually bouncy friend was putting on full display.
"The most amazing thing about you though is how brave you are."
Fluttershy quickly exclaimed her opinion on the matter as she tried to look away from her friend with a small blush developing on her face.
"No, I'm not." she replied bashfully though still with that same warm smile on her face.
"Yes, you are!" Pinkie countered as Fluttershy's attention was redrawn.
"You stood up to a big, mean dragon when you were terrified of it, you helped Ponyville with the water tornado, you befriended Discord, you overcame quite a bit of your stage fright, you accomplished your dream and built your animal sanctuary, and you've practically helped save Equestria a dozen times."
"That was all you, Fluttershy! You did all those amazing things! You've worked on your confidence a lot in the years that I've known you and you've grown so much. We really need to start calling you Flutter-bold now." she playfully joked at the end, causing the pegasus to give a light giggle.
"You're one of the most amazing ponies I've ever met and I don't think I could want too many ponies to be my best friend like I'd want you to be. There are so many ways in which I appreciate you for who you are. So while I highly doubt that all our other friends will ever hate you, even if they do, you'll never have to be alone. I'll always be here for you and I'm not going anywhere." she concluded with upmost sincerity.
Pinkie then slowly let go of Fluttershy's face as she enveloped the pegasus in a tight, affectionate hug.
"You're amazing Flutters and I'll always let you know that... I love you, Shy-Shy."
Fluttershy, on the other side of the embrace felt a few leftover tears water her eyes - though this time in a happy manner with a loving, appreciative smile - as she returned the magnitude of the hug, surprising even Pinkie.
The pegasus clenched her eyes shut as she nuzzled her head joyfully on the other pony's neck.
"I love you too, Pinkie..." she softly uttered, making Pinkie smile.
"...you're one of my best friends."
"...you're one of my best friends."
Something about her friend's statement made Pinkie freeze as her eyes shot open, all while still holding on to the pegasus. Something about that particular declaration made something roar inside Pinkie's head.
"You know she's only saying that because she thinks you're her only friend now. Once she has her other friends back, she won't feel the same way." a voice echoed in Pinkie's mind.
Her self-consciousness grew confused as she called back to it. "Huh? Who are you?"
"I'm your doubt, Pinkie." it stated.
"Oh, hi. Pleased to meet you!" her mind cheerfully welcomed before it remembered something. "But why are you here? And what's this about Fluttershy?"
"How can you two be best friends? You're two completely different ponies."
"Wh-what do you mean?" her internal mind began stuttering. Meanwhile, externally, Pinkie's face conceived into a nervous frown, her eyes drifting downwards.
"I mean that she's quiet and laid-back while you're loud and spontaneous."
"Hey! That may be true but that doesn't mean we can't be best friends!" she thought defiantly.
"Really then? How much have you two hung out in the past...just the two of you?"
"W-well..." Pinkie's face lowered even more as she feverishly took a glance back at the pegasus who was still obliviously nuzzling her.
"Exactly. She'd much rather be at a quiet tea party or taking care of her animals than running around with exploding confetti cannons."
"Hey! Just because we have different interests doesn't mean we can't be best friends!"
Her doubt sighed for a moment.
"And how often have you two worked on finding a compromise? An activity you can both do?"
Pinkie's mind remained silent as she tried desperately to find something to use as a retort.
"Exactly. Now, do you honestly think she likes being a part of your crazy energy?!"
Again, nothing from Pinkie as she felt her mouth silently gasp in realization, feeling her throat dry up.
"Let's see here:
- You've constantly scared her on multiple occasions.
- You've frightened her animals with your cannons and she's gotten upset about it before.
- You made her cry when you kept trying to 'help' her with her stage fright.
- She never goes to your parties unless all the others are there.
- Heck, even this morning you practically gave her a heart attack playing hide and seek.
Face it, how can you two be best friends?"
Pinkie's eyes began to moisten, her gaze wavering back and forth as she tried to come up with something - anything as a rebuttal - but words failed her.
Finally, doubt managed to hit her with a metaphorical gut punch.
"Look, no offense here, but you'd only end up hurting her if you two were actual BFF's. Once she has her other friends back, she'll forget all about what she said - and honestly, it's for the best."
Pinkie's began to try and wrap her head around her doubt's suggestion, but a sound of quickly approaching hoofsteps caught the attention of her - as well as finally Fluttershy who had remained unaware of her internal ranting - as the two eased their way out of the hug to greet the visitor.
Upon closer inspection, the two made it out to be none other than... Twilight? But this time, she appeared to be her normal color of lavender and her mane seemed totally fine, unlike earlier. What was perhaps the weirdest thing about the whole situation though was that instead of a bitter angry scowl like earlier or even a totally apologetic expression from her previous behavior, she instead appeared to be...concerned.
` Regardless, Fluttershy flinched a bit in fear upon seeing the somewhat familiar pony from earlier who had yelled at the two of them and completely disregarded her feelings. The flinch didn't go unnoticed by Twilight however as she took this into account - combined with the pegasus's still red and puffy eyes - and turned around to face Pinkie with a disappointed frown.
"Oh, great. You upset Fluttershy, too?" the alicorn mildly glared at Pinkie.
Both earth pony and pegasus looked at each other in bewilderment before expressing their glances back up at Twilight, who began to look just as confused - but more so because of the other two's reactions.
After a moment of processing however, Pinkie soon found herself giving Twilight a cold-blooded glare with a slight snarl.
"What?! I upset Fluttershy?!" her mind exploded.
Pinkie soon found herself standing up as she proceeded to trot towards Twilight with a look of rage in her eyes.
Twilight and Fluttershy were both shocked as Pinkie marched ever closer. This pony, who was usually seen as a beacon of laughter and goodwill, had a look of fury in her eyes that the two had never seen before. It wasn't even the rare over-the-top theatrical anger either. This was genuine.
"Pinkie?" Fluttershy concernedly muttered as she gaped breathlessly, trying to rise up and reach out a hoof to her friend, but to no avail.
As Twilight's face converted into a look of shock with a small trace of fear, Pinkie began questioning why she was even this mad in the first place as she slowly strutted towards the princess. Sure, the accusation hurt and seeing Fluttershy upset made her stomach crawl but why...
"Because Twilight'd normally be right? Because it's usually you who does upset her?"
Pinkie's glare wavered for a moment as she walked ever closer.
"Because you feel guilty that you've hurt this sweet angel of a pony before?"
"Pinkie?!" Fluttershy tried a little louder, but it was no use.
Pinkie found her glare starting to come back as she was mere inches from Twilight. She was about to speak until...
"Because you think you're a bad friend?"
Pinkie paused as her eyes suddenly began watering before snapping back to reality, going muzzle-to-muzzle with Twilight as she delivered an icy glare.
"You know what, Twilight? Maybe if you weren't so worried about schedules, you'd realize you're the one ruining the retreat for your friends!"
Twilight gasped before a look of hurt adopted her features.
"Well, if my friends don't care about the retreat I planned for them... maybe they should've stayed home!"
All Fluttershy could do was watch on with a look of horror.
Everything that happened after that felt like a blur to Pinkie, and that was saying something considering she was the one that was usually a blur.
After a little back and forth between the alicorn and the earth pony, they were soon discovered by the rest of their friends - who all seemed to be having arguments with each other as well. Accusations of this and that, while the others either denied or made more accusations - it was almost like everypony was hanging out with nasty duplicates of each other, but how crazy would that be?
Finally, after the tension had escalated well beyond it's breaking point, Twilight ceased the madness with an authoritative shout.
"Everypony, quiet!"
At this, everyone had stopped yelling at each other as they turned towards the princess with looks of curiosity.
"Listen. We know each other really well — the great stuff and how to get on each other's nerves, too. I wanted a fun trip with my friends. But instead, I got carried away with plans and ruined everything. If you want to forget it all and head home, I won't be offended. I just want us to stop fighting."
Pinkie took this speech to heart along with everyone else. While it didn't necessarily explain why or how everypony had gotten on each other's nerves, she heard an important truth in that statement. They'd always be the best of friends no matter what came their way and they would always have each others' backs. It was a comforting statement that filled a cozy warmth inside Pinkie's heart as she found herself beaming along with all the other ponies. They would always be her friends and nothing could change that.
Sure enough, everyone quickly began apologizing to each other and made amends with huge grins on their faces. Pinkie quickly took to Twilight's side and apologized for her previous anger and for any 'apparent' displays that indicated she found Twilight's plans boring - she wasn't sure what that was about, but she didn't care. She was simply ecstatic to see everyone getting along again and was about to initiate a big group hug before two voices stopped her in her tracks.
"So... does that mean you still want to have the retreat?" Twilight asked with a newfound source of hope.
Everyone agreed before a meek, nervous voice vacated their hearing.
"If everypony likes me again." Fluttershy pawed at the ground, wondering if her friends would ever want her company.
"YES!" everyone except Pinkie shouted as they soon collided with the pegasus, sending everyone into a sprawling group hug.
Pinkie smiled as she prepared to join in the tackle-cuddle fest before a familiar voice plagued her head.
"See? She has all her closest friends back. She doesn't need you to be her best friend anymore. Again, it's for the best - you don't want to hurt her after all." it said as Pinkie's face morphed into a downcast frown.
"Let's get to that Tree. I have the whole campsite set up and ready." Twilight exclaimed as she got up to begin leading her group of friends.
"...sure." Pinkie spoke up with what she tried to disguise as her traditional ecstatic grin, walking over to the pile of friends. "We'll have lots of fun."
The rest of the gang however seemed somewhat skeptical as they stared at the pink pony with concerns on all their faces.
"Uh... ya sure yer alright, sugarcube?" began Applejack.
"Yeah, you were the one who was the most excited for this retreat!" exclaimed an equally worried Rainbow Dash.
"Calm down Pinkie, it's not so bad. You still have your other friends who all love you." she silently told herself as she slowly felt her grin become more natural. It wasn't completely perfect, but it was better at least.
"Yeppery Peppery!" she exclaimed in a much more enthusiastic tone. "Still just recovering from... today." she replied more solemnly.
"Well, it's not a total lie..."
"Are you sure? If something is bothering you, we can talk about it." Starlight Glimmer offered.
"Indeed darling. You don't look or sound like a 100% Pinkie yet." Rarity examined.
Pinkie's smile turned more mellow, yet fully appreciative as she addressed all her friends.
"I appreciate that, really I do. But I'm fine, I probably just need some time to cool off." she replied sincerely.
Most of her friends nodded their heads except for Twilight and Fluttershy.
"Alright, Pinkie. But I still apologize for yelling at you and accusing you. If you're still upset with me, I..." Twilight began before she was cut off by a pink hoof to her lips.
"Silly Twilight! I already forgave you. I'm fine, really." she grinned, albeit a little apprehensively.
"Even though it feels like you just lost a pony who hugged you and said they were your best friend... or is it that you feel like you're a bad friend?" spoke doubt one more time.
"Let's get a move on! I really want to see the campsite!" she exclaimed, before she took off in a fast-paced trot towards the direction of the tree. The majority of the group simply gave a shrug, deciding not to push the issue any further, before following the earth pony's trail.
Fluttershy however remained in the back of the group as she stared off in the distance, sporting a contemplative look of worry.
"Something's wrong with Pinkie.... this isn't like her at all." she anxiously thought before her thoughts flashed back to the events that had previously transpired with the two of them.
"I love you, Shy-Shy."
"But she's my best friend and just like she helped me, I'm going to help her!" she affirmed herself with a bright, positive smile as she quickly rushed to catch up with the others.
`
Author's Note
Hey everybody, how are you all doing? Welcome to this brand new fic!
This is going to be a two chapter story diving into Pinkie and Fluttershy's bonds as friends.
(*I have no idea why there aren't more stories like this for these two out there, but I'm happy to oblige.*)
Anyways, before I end this A/N, I want to stress that by no means am I trying to joke or make fun off anyone who has or know someone who has struggled with anxiety, panic attacks, or any of the following behaviors included in this chapter. I am trying my best to represent these factors and the respected characters in both an accurate and respectful manner, though I do not know everything associated with dealing with someone with a panic attack, so if there are any concerns or issues in regards to any portrayals, please feel free to let me know.
Will Fluttershy be able to help Pinkie and save her from her own doubts? Will our favorite party pony be able to gain some self confidence in herself? Can this story be more wholesome fluff?
Stay tuned for the second part which should hopefully be out soon.
Pinkie and Fluttershy are amazing ponies.... I mean.... sincerely,
-frenettek314
Part 2/2 - "A Twinkle in the Sky"
Hours after the group had made it to and (unfortunately) rebuilt their campsite, they were finally able to relax as they all gathered around a warm, roaring campfire in the cool, crisp forest night. Today had been unexpectedly stressful for everyone involved - what with each of them having supposedly acted like the complete opposite of their true selves - but that didn't matter anymore; everyone was just happy to get along once again and hopefully regain some form of normalcy for the night and the rest of their retreat.
Well, mostly everyone was happy.
As Pinkie stared longingly at the fire while the rest of her friends were currently occupied with a round of campfire stories and other playful conversations, the pink pony began to remember those haunting words her doubt had plagued her with.
"How can you two be best friends?"
"...you'll only end up hurting her..."
"It's for the best..."
Pinkie's soul began to freeze over as she was constantly barricaded with those constant vocal jabs. How could Fluttershy say they were best friends? They were so different - she was sweet and kind and Pinkie was just a silly pony. How could she...?
Her mind began to trail off so much, she almost didn't notice the slight yell accompanied by a hoof frantically waving in front of her face.
"Pinkie!" Rainbow exclaimed, snapping the earth pony back to attention as she noticed all her other friends had ceased their conversations to regard her with concerned expressions.
"Wha..? Oh... Hi Dashie." Pinkie spoke with a fraction of her normal enthusiasm as she tried her best to conceal her pain.
"Pinkie, are you ok? You've been really quiet and you were just staring in the distance..." Starlight Glimmer explained as the others collectively nodded their heads in agreement.
"Y-yeah. Just some thoughts about stuff that happened today." Pinkie stated. She didn't want her friends to know the exact reason but she also wanted to remain as close to the truth as possible.
To her surprise though, it was a very worried looking Fluttershy who decided to speak next, which didn't do well to quell her anxieties.
"Pinkie, would you like to take a walk with me? We can go somewhere quiet to talk about what's bothering you." she offered so sweetly it almost made Pinkie cry. The pegasus sounded like she was very worried. Worried for her.
Pinkie flinched with pain as she felt her insides crawl.
"Why does she care so much? I'm usually the one who scares her the most..."
"N-no thanks." she stuttered a bit. "Though, I think I'm going to go explore a bit by myself."
"Pinkie..." Rarity softly whispered.
"It's fine!" Pinkie all too quickly explained before she relaxed a bit.
"It's fine..." she spoke quieter as she gave a bitter smile to her friends. "I just need some time is all..." she finished as she slowly trotted away from the campfire and into a clear trail through the woods.
The rest of the gang couldn't help but look at each other with mental skepticism. They knew Pinkie wasn't acting like herself and they wanted to help, but it didn't seem like Pinkie was completely hiding everything - she at least was honest about what may be troubling her and if some alone time helped with that who were they to judge?
For now, they all decided to somberly return to their conversations - making the decision that they would become more involved if the problem worsened. Everyone decided that this was the best they could do for now.
Except Fluttershy.
The pegasus noticed the minor indications that her friend was truly troubled. The long, silent distant stares, the small shaky smiles that she knew weren't completely genuine, the echo of a stutter in her voice, and...
"...the way she flinched when I spoke to her."
Realizing that her best friend may be upset because of her, Fluttershy slowly rose up from the log she was sitting on, staring out into the direction of the trail with a hardened look on her face as she began walking towards the path.
"Fluttershy?" Applejack called out, noticing her friend march her way towards Pinkie's whereabouts. "Where are ya going?"
The pegasus in response looked over her shoulder at her questioning friends with a slight spark in her eyes.
"To find Pinkie." she boldly stated before she increased her speed off into the distance.
The group only looked at each other with more concern than before - now two of their friends had ventured out into the night with very little context as to what exactly was going on.
"Should we go after them?" Starlight turned and asked Twilight.
The alicorn was about to respond before she took notice of the way she found Pinkie and Fluttershy hugging and consoling each other earlier. While she had originally assumed that the earth pony had made their friend upset, she now knew the opposite held true as she saw the way the two seemed to care for each other.
As the sight of that moment lingered in the lavender pony's mind, she turned to address the others with a slight smile on her muzzle.
"No. I know they'll be fine as long as they're together." she sagely reasoned as the fire in the middle cracked a brilliant orange glow.
A small pink bundle of mane and limbs sat ever so quietly - perched at the top of a majestic hilltop view - as she gazed profoundly at the brilliant illustration of the moon and stars that danced the night sky.
As she awed at the shimmering aura that the moon gave off, she delivered a long sigh as she glanced dejectedly at her own hooves.
"Am I really a bad pony? I've probably hurt someone who means so much to me and yet she still calls me her best friend."
As she internally monologued alone, she failed to hear the quiet, elegant hoofsteps of a yellow pegasus slowly approaching her.
Thankfully for Fluttershy, finding her friend proved to be a simple objective. On her trek up she had met some of the animals from earlier in the day, which she apologized profusely to in the event that she had upset them. Thankfully, the animals began to realize that this pony was not the same 'heartless monster' from earlier and accepted the kind mare with open paws, claws, wings, whatever may be.
After asking the creatures of a pink pony potentially walking by, they happily pointed the pegasus in the direction of the traveler, which she thanked in sincere appreciation before eventually finding her intended target where she currently sat.
Fluttershy slowly waltzed up to the pony until she was a few feet away before softly clearing her throat.
"Pinkie?"
The earth pony jumped in surprise from her seated position before she swiftly tilted her head around to address the newcomer.
"What are you doing here?"
The pegasus delivered a soft tender smile.
"I'm here to check on you. I wanted to make sure you're alright."
Pinkie's eyes shifted downwards as she brought her head back to the direction of the hillside, her back facing the mare.
"You should go back to the campsite. You have a lot of best friends down there to spend time with."
Fluttershy's smile immediately vanished at that; a thin concerned frown replacing it instead, as she slowly moved so she was standing right beside the sulking pony.
"What about the best friend I have right here who's clearly upset? I'm worried about her."
Pinkie paused for a moment before sighing in response.
"You can have much better friends than me." she firmly stated as she gazed back up at the stars overhead.
The pegasus now began to sit cautiously right next to the pony as she began extending a wing and rubbing her friend's shoulder.
"Pinkie, now you're scaring me. What's going on?"
The pony made no effort to remove the wing from her body, yet she tensed at the touch as she began feeling the cascade of tears dripping down again. She still refused to look directly at the pegasus.
"We can't be best friends..." she weakly muttered as she bowed her head in shame.
Fluttershy could feel her heart plummet as the wing stopped its comforting motions. She felt her eyes water in sadness and fright as she moved her head closer to the other form.
"What?! Why not?!"
Pinkie paused as her doubt reared its ugly head.
"Because you'll hurt her."
"Because you're too different."
Then her eyes sobbed at the last one.
"Because she deserves better."
"Because... we just can't!" Pinkie finally exclaimed externally.
"Why can't we?" Fluttershy retaliated as her nerves began to quiver.
This definitely wasn't the normal Pinkie. The pony who always loved to laugh and smile and hang out with her friends. Seeing her friend this sad and upset only made her heart weep. And now she was saying they couldn't be friends?! The pegasus wanted to help and resolve the situation, but she didn't know what to do if the mare was refusing to open up.
"Please... just... we can't." Pinkie slowly choked as she felt each word was like a poison cupcake in her mouth. She didn't want to turn away the soothing voice but what other choice did she have?
"Pinkie, you need to tell me what's going on. I can't help you if you don't tell me." Fluttershy calmly explained, wanting nothing more at the moment than to fully embrace her friend and tell her whatever fears or concerns she had weren't necessary.
Pinkie finally stared directly at the opposing pony as her eyes trickled in despair.
"You shouldn't want to help me!" Pinkie exclaimed.
Now, Fluttershy was floored. She was quickly becoming frustrated with her failure to understand the situation. First Pinkie said that they couldn't be friends and now she was being told that she shouldn't want to help her.
"Pinkie Pie, now you're just being silly! Of course, I'm your friend and I want nothing more than to help you with whatever is going on. I'm not going to leave you alone until you are ready to tell me what's wrong because that's what friends do!" the pegasus retorted triumphantly, her brows slightly narrowed as her voice was laced with a touch of frustration - though it was mostly a result of her worries for her broken down friend.
"How can we be friends?! I don't get it!" Pinkie exclaimed in frustration as the tears roared down now.
"What do you mean how?! What are you trying to say?" retaliated Fluttershy.
Finally, like a bag full of air that had just popped, Pinkie's turmoil all came flooding out.
"Because I'm a bad friend!" she cried, suddenly collapsing onto the rocky terrain in a fit of sobs.
Fluttershy remained utterly speechless. She had never seen Pinkie break down like this before; to see this bundle of energy and laughter transform into a pool of tears and hysteria lurched at the pegasus's heart like a puncturing arrow.
"She thinks she's a bad friend?! How can she..." she silently thought as tears wept for the heartbroken Pinkie Pie.
The mare finally received a form of instincts as she scooted herself closer to her emotional friend before picking her up with her front hooves and wrapping her in the tightest hug the pegasus had ever performed.
"Pinkie, please stop! You are not a bad friend! You're one of my best friends and I'll always love you!" she sputtered out as she began nuzzling the bouncy pink mane in an attempt to console her.
"H-how?" the pony shakily replied.
"I'm still not sure what you mean by that." Fluttershy softly spoke. "How about we just take a few moments to relax and then we can work this out?"
Pinkie's mind began racing. On one hoof, she felt like she wanted to run as fast as she could and escape the pegasus before she discovered the full truth - before she inadvertently hurt her. On the other hoof, slowly looking up to see the tearful, yet nurturing smile on the mare's face gave Pinkie an odd feeling of comfort that told her to go ahead and try anyway- to push through the doubt no matter what and have confidence in her. Have confidence in herself.
After a moment of internal debating, Pinkie glanced up at the pegasus and weakly nodded her head.
"Ok..."
Fluttershy smiled at this and gently pushed Pinkie back into the warm embrace as she began rubbing her mane.
"Shhh... it's alright. I'm here. I want to help you. I'm not going anywhere."
Having Pinkie's sobbing eventually dwindle down into nothing more than a few light sniffles, Fluttershy slowly removed herself from the embrace before she used her wings to lightly tickle the pink pony's stomach.
"Hee hee. Stop it, Shy-Shy! That tickles!" Pinkie roared out in laughter as her trademark bouncy smile soon found it's way home where it belonged.
The pegasus resumed the tickle attack for a moment before she folded back her wings with a beaming grin on her face.
"There's the happy Pinkie I know! Now, are you ready to talk?" she asked as she sat herself on a nearby rock on the hill before motioning for the pink pony to take a seat directly across from her.
Pinkie's laughter naturally dwindled down as she looked at the rock with curiosity.
"If I don't, you're just going to tickle me again aren't you?" she asked knowingly.
The pegasus adopted a sly smirk as she nodded her head in confirmation.
"Alright, but... this isn't going to be easy to talk about." Pinkie warned as she cautiously took her place.
"Well, why don't we start from the beginning and work our way there? That's what you did with me when I was upset earlier." Fluttershy offered.
As Pinkie looked back at her butterscotch friend, she couldn't help but marvel at the kind pony's natural gift for comforting others. Whether it be an animal or another one of her friends, Fluttershy had this presence about her that let everyone know that she was there to listen and everything would be ok. Her warm inviting smile and the offering, yet non-confrontational way she spoke to others to get them to warm up was a treasure that very few ponies could possess.
While both mares found their talents in the caring and cheering up of others, Pinkie had to admit that the pegasus's internal beauty allowed her to console even the most tortured or damaged spirits with a grace that contrasted from her own overly bubbly persona. While Fluttershy took a little longer to let that aura of hers open up, it was a power which could help more ponies than a simple party or joke could ever do. To say Pinkie respected the similar yet also different style of compassion that the spirit of kindness held was an understatement. Heck, if she didn't work with animals, perhaps she could've had a career as a therapist.
Pinkie smiled at her friend in appreciation before she gave a quick sigh.
"Okey-dokey. Well, remember back in the forest when I found you crying and then I comforted you?"
Fluttershy gave a fond smile at the memory of her friend being so warm and kind. She nodded silently, prompting her friend to continue.
"And then I said you were one of the most amazing ponies I ever met?"
Fluttershy developed a small blush on her cheeks as she quickly turned her head away from the other pony, though still adorning a rather cute smile.
Pinkie inwardly smirked at the timid pony's bashfulness. "Some things never change."
"Y-yes I do - and thank you by the way. That made my day." the pegasus meekly responded.
"Anytime, Shy-Shy." Pinkie closed her eyes in delight before the attention was re-focused on the topic at hoof.
"Anyways, after I did that, you began to hug me - which I always enjoy a nice Flutterhug..."
Fluttershy blushed again.
"...but after that, you said I was 'one of your best friends'."
Fluttershy nodded, seeing Pinkie's expression transform into a more neutral thin line.
"And you absolutely are. But why is that upsetting you? Why do you think we shouldn't be?" the pegasus persuaded in a motherly manner, allowing the conversation to proceed.
"Well, once you did that a new voice appeared in my head. They said their name was 'doubt'." Pinkie began.
"Aw, yes." the yellow pony sagely nodded. "I'm quite familiar with that one."
"You are?" the earth pony tilted her head quizzically.
"Oh yes." she responded, "Doubt will always try to make you question things even if you felt confident about something before. Doubt tries to make you worry about things, even if they're not true - in fact, I struggle with that every day. Doubt told me everyone hated me earlier."
"Really, it did?"
"Oh, yes. But a certain sweet pony named Pinkie helped show me doubt was just being silly." Fluttershy added with a wink, causing said sweet pony to giggle.
However, the giggling soon stopped as Pinkie developed a new question.
"But what if doubt's telling the truth and not being silly?"
The pegasus respectfully thought for a moment before responding.
"Well, what was doubt telling you?"
Pinkie sighed again, before finally working up the nerve to explain.
"Well, doubt told me that the two of us can't be best friends because we're so different from each other."
Fluttershy paused her calm demeanor at that as her eyes widened in realization. Everything was slowly starting to make sense and her guess as to exactly what was happening made her heart wince in sympathy.
"Really?" she asked worriedly.
Pinkie sadly nodded.
"Mmm hmm. Doubt made me realize that the two of us really don't do a lot with each other because we have very different lives. I mean, you're a gentle and quiet pony, while I'm a loud and silly pony..."
Fluttershy nodded as a touch of guilt slowly enveloped her with a frown.
"We really haven't spent that much time together, have we? I had no idea she'd want to..."
"...then I began thinking about all the ways in which we've struggled in the past. I mean, you're not too big into parties, that's a given - but there's also other things like how my balloons sometimes interfere with your animals, how my loud nature frightens you, that time where I made you cry about your stage fright..."
` Pinkie and Fluttershy both winced upon that particular memory, both having regrets.
"...heck, even this morning I gave you a near heart attack with hide and seek; and that made me think, 'how can we be best friends if all I do is constantly frighten and/or hurt you?'"
Pinkie felt her tears begin to creep up on her again as Fluttershy felt her own sadness overcome her in sympathy and heartache for her friend.
"Pinkie..." Fluttershy softly uttered as Pinkie carried on.
"So doubt told me that you had other, better best friends waiting for you once you guys made up and I didn't want to argue... because... because..."
"Because why, Pinkie?" the pegasus asked as a tear fell down her cheek.
"Because I'm a bad friend!" Pinkie sobbed. Immediately, Fluttershy flew over to the rock Pinkie was sitting on and wrapped her up in another hug, trying in vein to conceal her own tears.
"Pinkie, you are not a bad friend. You're a great friend, a wonderful friend in fact!" Fluttershy cried as she nuzzled the pony close.
"No I'm not!" Pinkie countered. "I'm scared that if we became best friends, I'd end up hurting you or driving you away, and I don't want to do that! I'm a bad pony, Shy! You should stay away, I don't want my silliness to hurt you!"
At that, Fluttershy froze for a split second before her tears nearly doubled as she quickly lifted the pink pony's head up with her hooves so that the two were directly staring (/sobbing) at each other.
"Pinkie, please don't ever say that! Don't ever think you'll make me leave you, because I won't! I love you just the way you are!"
"Please don't lie to me!" Pinkie cried as she clenched her eyes shut in emotional pain.
"Pinkie! I'm not lying to you! Just like you weren't..." she suddenly stopped as she remembered what the other pony had done earlier to make her trust her words.
The pegasus gently lifted the earth pony's head again so that she would open her eyes.
"Pinkie, I'm going to make a Pinkie Promise that what I tell you now will be the complete and honest truth. 'Cross my Heart and Hope to Fly, Stick a Cupcake in my Eye'."
Pinkie's eyes glimmered in response. Those who knew about the 'Pinkie Promise' were smart enough to never break one.
The pink pony wordlessly nodded.
"I love my Pinkie just the way she is. Yes, there have been plenty of times where I struggle to keep up with your energy, but I've honestly grown to love your silly quirks over the years - I couldn't imagine you without them."
Pinkie gave a tearful smile as her lips quivered at the sentiment.
Fluttershy returned said smile as she pressed on.
"And yes, I can get scared easily, but let's be honest a lot of things frighten me. And I know we haven't spent a lot of one-on-one time in the past, but I was never really sure how to approach you on it or even if you wanted that - but now since I know you do, we can work together on finding activities that we can both comfortably enjoy doing. That's why we have Buckball isn't it?"
Pinkie gave a soft laugh as she drew memories of the ponies' recent introduction into the world of Buckball and how surprisingly good of a team the two plus the chill Snails made.
"Just because we're different doesn't mean we can't be best friends; In fact, our differences help encourage our friendship. You always know how to make me smile in the long run and you've always encouraged me to come out of my shell and try new things, while I'm sure there are ways I've helped you, right?"
Pinkie sniffled as she eagerly nodded.
"Of course! I would've never held such an awe for wildlife or tea without you!"
Fluttershy smiled at that as she wiped her own puffy eyes with the use of her wing.
"So how about the two of us work on improving our friendship together? Because I want you to be and to know that you're my best friend, and I want the two of us to get to know each other better and become closer than we ever have before - sound good?"
The pegasus however barely had any time to process exactly what happened as a pink blur nearly tackled her, nuzzling its mane onto her cheek.
"I'd love that, Flutter-Butter."
Fluttershy smiled as she nuzzled the pink pony's cheek back in a warm, friendly display.
"Me too, Pinkie."
Both earth pony and pegasus were currently lying down on their backs, peacefully watching the shimmering stars swim ever so daintily across the night sky. After a rather emotionally-intense day, both ponies found the relaxing activity of stargazing to be the perfect accompaniment to the promise of their new friendship.
Pinkie stared lazily at the sky as she blissfully sighed.
"Today sure was crazy, even by my standards."
Fluttershy didn't look up but she did give a soft laugh as she smiled up at the sky.
"Yeah. But somehow everything worked out in the end. And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."
Pinkie just gave a soft murmur of agreement before an angelic voice spoke up once again.
"Hey Pinkie?"
"Yeah?"
"I was just thinking - We both still have issues with our self-confidence and we both agreed we would work on finding new activities together, so I had an idea... what if we agreed to meet up once a week so we can help each other with any issues, and then afterwards we could do something fun - just the two of us."
"You mean like a therapy/bonding session?" Pinkie questioned as she tilted her head.
"Mmm-hmm. Something like that."
"Are you sure? I really don't want to take up too much of your time with the school and the sanctuary."
Fluttershy turned her head to meet Pinkie's as she gave a small smirk.
"Even with all that, I still have plenty of time to spend with each and every one of my best friends."
Pinkie couldn't help but return the smirk.
"Hide and Seek?"
"Only if you actually let somepony else find you first."
Pinkie couldn't help but laugh out loud at that, which Fluttershy soon found herself joining in.
"Now I'm going to have to call you Flutter-sly."
"I wouldn't be opposed to it." Fluttershy iterated with a bashful shrug.
Pinkie went back to thinking for a moment as an idea cracked in her head.
"How about board games? I love board games!"
Fluttershy immediately cracked a wide smile as her tail managed to wave a little bit in excitement.
"I love board games too!" she exclaimed before she realized her volume, "If that's ok with you, I mean."
Pinkie laughed once again.
"I guess we're already finding things together."
The two leaned back and mindlessly watched the stars for a little while longer before both ponies simultaneously got up to begin heading back to the rest of their friends - knowing it was starting to get late.
"Shall we head back? We have a whole day of activities planned for tomorrow." asked Fluttershy.
"Indeedy we shall, Flutty-Buddy - but I have an idea before we head back." she announced, capturing the pegasus's interest.
The remaining group at the campsite continued to eat marshmallows and trade stories as they all noticed the fire begin burning out.
"Where in Celestia's sake are those two?" questioned Applejack starting to get worried.
"I say, they've been gone for a while." Rarity agreed as the others started wondering what they should do.
Then, like a prayer that had been answered - only to deliver a bunch of questions as well - came the form of a happily sprinting Pinkie Pie, carrying a giggly pegasus on her back.
The two soon reached the gawking stares of the rest of their friends as a still giggling Fluttershy slowly made her way off of the party pony's back.
"Oh, sorry we were gone for so long." she quoted bashfully.
Twilight was the first one to recover from her shock.
"Oh, that's fine. Is everything ok?"
"Yepperooni!" chirped a grinning Pinkie Pie as she bounced her way over towards one of the tents.
"Don't worry. She's ok now." Fluttershy assured as she soon plopped a marshmallow in her mouth.
The rest of the group could only playfully shrug with collected smiles on their faces. As long as everyone was happy again, the friendship retreat was back in full swing.
And indeed as Pinkie slowly got in one of the sleeping bags, she soon found herself dozing off into a peaceful slumber. Dreams of the exciting adventures she and her friends would have on the retreat filled her head as she couldn't wait to partake in another great day tomorrow.
No matter the struggles or the doubts that attempted to bring her down, Pinkie knew she had the best friends in the whole wide world; and whatever happened next, they would never be separated.
As Fluttershy and the others quietly made their way to their respective sleeping arrangements for the night, a light snoring could be heard from a single tent, making the pegasus smile.
"Good night, Pinkie..." she whispered as she made her way to her own tent.
"...and thank you... for being you."
Author's Note
So was this not just a cute friend-shippy fluff story, but also a heartwarming tale about two friends helping each other through their mental health issues? Probably.
This was a short, simple story but I hope you enjoyed it all the same. And remember to take care of yourself (be who you are), as well as offer a supporting hand to any friends who may be struggling.
We all have problems but we have each other to work through them.
Until next time,
-frenettek314
