Author's Note

*Warning* Offering Clop Implied Below

Chapter 11: Lessons In Self Defense

After you get established with work and your daily routines start to stabilize, you are surprised with a visit from Twi-Force.

“Hi Anon! Did I wake you?” She asks with a big bright smile on her face.

“Considering that it’s my day off and the Sun just started to rise…” You look down at her now waning smile through your groggy eyes and cannot finish that sentence like you normally would, “…Sigh… Nope. How can I help you?”

As her smile returns, you just cannot stay upset at her. “I came to give you a present!”

You blink a few times to banish the blur inducing sandmen from your eyes. “Umm, thank you?”

“Your welcome! It’s a book!”, of course it is, “I found a book on a nearly lost martial art called Points’ Way! It combines several ancient earth pony fighting stiles with pressure points to dismantle an opponent’s nervous system and even stop their heart!”

You just stand there, awestruck at how nonchalant Twi-Force is being while mentioning killing something. “H-hay, Twi-Force… Why do you want me to have a book about a martial art that could kill something?” She tilts her head to the side inquisitively.

“I want you to read it then learn to use it, of course.” She clearly did not understand what you were asking.

“OK, but why do you want me to do that? You know that I don’t want to hurt anypony right?”

Twi-Force smiles warmly up at you, “I know, yet that does not mean there are no ponies, or creatures for that matter, that may want to do you harm. Monster attacks are a rather common occurrence around here due to the proximity to the Everfree. Additionally, while you may be immune to magic based attacks, it also means I cannot protect you with defensive spells like I do for my other friends. I just want you to be safer now that you will be working outside the Tree-Castle.”

“Oh yeah… I keep forgetting about that as they are usually resolved by you girls within a few minutes to a half an hour, tops. Not to mention how calm the town is when that happens.”

“With that said, I talked this over with the girls. They agreed to teach you how to fight against both monsters and other creatures. Though, I wanted to teach you, my fighting style relies heavily on my magic. I will still be teaching you unicorn and magic creatures’ weaknesses.”

“Thanks Twi-force. I appreciate your concerns and help.” You lean down to give her a quick hug. Though you were never that touchy-feely when you first appeared here, Twi-Force seemed to like hugs, so you are getting more used to them.

The next day you were in a large open field outside of Ponyville with the whole gang together except Zecora. She wanted to come but was busy with a cure for a pony that foolishly wandered into the Everfree and ate some random plant. Still, she promised to teach you some Zebra fighting moves later and their weaknesses too. You sometimes wish she lived in town, but too each their own.

“What ya thinking bout, Nony?” A pink party pony is now covering your vision.

“Not much P-Pop, just miss Zecora a little is all. Still, thanks for coming everypony!”

“Awwa, you didn’t get surprised at all! No fun Nony!”

You chuckle a little at that, “Guess you’ll just have to try harder, huh?”

“You’re going to get the biggest surprise of your life, Mah-hahahaha!” P-Pop says while twirling an over-sized curly mustache she has on for, reasons? P-Pop has the weirdest magic you’ve seen here. Discord is Chaotic, but P-pop stretches even your suspension of disbelief.

“May we please focus? I have an appointment at the hair salon this evening.” Rares’ comment brings you back to the matter at hand.

“Ok, so… your all going to teach me to fight?”

“Sure are Sugar Cube! I ain’t too keen on ya fighting, even if ‘n ya ain’t a typical stallion, no offense. But, I do want to make sure ya can handle a tussle if ‘n one finds ya.”

“No prob Jacks, and thanks for the help everypony.” Blatant sexism aside, she means well.

“No biggie Bro! Now let’s wrassle!” Rain-Bro says as she leaps at you before getting caught in a purple magic field, “Arg… Your no fun Twi!”

As Rain-Bro struggles adorably to escape, Twi-force interjects, “We will start by taking turns dueling Anon. I have healing spells and first aid kits ready if any-PONY gets hurt. Do I make myself clear girls?”

“Well, I don’t want to hurt anypony if I can avoid it, I am rather tough… I think… so no need to hold too much back. Just promise no crotch or face shots please?” You relaxed a bit when they all agreed.

Three hours into training. After you get an explanation about the place that are off limits for safety or manners you have had several ‘matches’ with your friends. These consisted mostly of you running away and dodging lighthearted attack attempts, with occasional wrestling sessions whenever Jacks or Rain-Bro had turns.

“Hahhh-hahhh-hruuuurraa!” You pant while you lunge at P-Pop. She is the only pony who insisted that you make the first move and you have been trying to grab ahold of her or gently poke a pressure point so Twi-Force, who was acting as referee, would say you win. P-Pop simply side-steps your lunge with a ballerina pose and you fall again.

Looking back, you see her darn cake eating grin and know that this is getting you nowhere fast. P-Pop has not left her starting position at all. This calls for a different strategy. You stand up and look defiantly at your prey.

“Giving up, Noooony?” She wiggles her eyebrows in a wave to taunt you.

“Hey P-Pop! I want to see how your powers are affected by a magic power enhancing pressure point. If you let me win and teach me to dodge like that, I may consider letting my curiosity overrule my better judgment. So, what do you say P-Pop? What to make it chocolate rain with me?”

P-Pop freezes, blinks a few times, looks at the girl’s frantic gestures trying to get you to reconsider, and saunters over to you. You could swear she is swaying her hips more than usual.

“Why Nony, if you wanted to poke me that badly, all you had to do was ask.” She lays prone on the ground in front of you and spreads her legs while grasping her fluffy tail to cover herself.

“Uhummm,” you clear your throat, “…The pressure point is on your back…”

“Uppsies!” Pinky rolls over for you giggling and smacks your leg with her tail.

“ANON’S WIN! WEREDONEFORTODAY!” Suddenly Twi-Force is pushing you towards the Tree-Castle, “Thanks for your help girls, BYE!”

It was two weeks before we tried again, and P-Pop only taught you how to dodge from then on. Additionally, there was a very official looking signboard in the field that stated, ‘NO LICKING, NO SUCKING, NO TOUCHING GENITALS, NO KISSES, AND NO INVITATIONS TO DO THE ABOVE’

Although it seemed like a lot, you suppose it is just Twi-Force’s way of protecting her friends and let it go as you continue your now weekly training sessions.