Mare-Do-Well: Thorny Rose
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyrighted by Lauren Faust, Hasbro, and The Hub, while Batman: The Animated Series is copyrighted by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini, DC Comics, and Warner Bros. Entertainment. I own nothing.
Well, folks, it’s time for the next Mare-Do-Well re-write of a B:TAS episode, this one introducing the pony version of one of Batman’s best known rogues while giving us a sneak peek at another rogue, so sit back and hope you enjoy this thriller.
Thorny Rose
At a field filled with beautiful and exotic flowers on a small island within sight of Manehattan, a shadowy pony could be seen surreptitiously digging around a beautiful-looking rose. Once the pony was certain they had carefully dug out the plant, they removed it from the ground, placing it inside a nearby pot filled with soil before departing the field…
Several hours later, the same field was filled with reporters covering the ground-breaking of a new prison for the city. Standing on a wooden platform overlooking the reporters were several important Manehattan ponies, including Twilight Sparkle, Commissioner Applejack, and an elderly tan earth pony with a gray mane and tail, blue eyes, a rolled-up scroll cutie mark, and wearing eye glasses and a white shirt collar with a green cravat. This was Manehattan’s Mayor, Marion Mare.
“My fellow citizens,” began Mayor Mare, speaking to the gathered reporters, “It is with great civic pride that we gather here today to break ground on what will eventually become Alcatrot Prison, the most secure prison in Equestria, funded thanks to a grant from Twilight Industries,” she continued, gesturing to Twilight Sparkle, who stood up in response as the ponies in the audience began applauding.
The mayor soon turned to the final pony on the platform, an indigo alicorn with an ethereal blue mane and tail with stars in them with green eyes and a cutie mark of a black splotch with a crescent moon and a black collar around her neck with a similar crescent moon as she continued speaking: “As you know, this project started out as the dream of one pony who is with us today. And she would like to give a few words to us before we begin the ground-breaking of what is sure to be the first of many vast improvements provided by her in the Manehattan justice system. Mares and Gentlestallions: I give to you Manehattan’s newly-elected District Attorney, Luna Moonbeam!” The ponies in the audience once again began cheering and applauding loudly as Luna made her way up to the podium to speak.
“Thank you, Marion,” said Luna, smiling at the mayor before turning to the reporters, gesturing to the field around them: “From this field of thorns and wildflowers, we’ll build a new institution that will result in a better, safer Manehattan for our foals to live in!” The reporters in the audience cheered louder than ever as Twilight and Luna telekinetically levitated a pair of shovels into the ground to begin the digging, the photographers beginning to capture their efforts on film as the two ponies did so.
However, nopony seemed to notice the same mysterious pony from earlier watching the ceremony from an overlooking hill. Fuming in annoyance, the pony turned away from the ground-breaking, carrying the pot containing the wildflower with them on their back.
Later, the pony could be seen tearing out an article in the newspaper focusing on the Alcatrot ground-breaking with a photo of Luna and Twilight shaking hooves and the headline “GROUND BREAKS ON LUNA’S DREAM”. The pony soon attached to the article to a nearby bulletin board featuring other newspaper articles about nature being destroyed for the sake of development before taking a watering can and beginning to water the saved rose from the field, the pony scowling as they thought about how the plant’s brothers and sisters were now being torn up thanks to the bulldozers now plowing the field so that Alcatrot could be built. The pony silently vowed then and there that Luna Moonbeam would pay for the destruction of so much plant life…
Five years later, life in Manehattan may have been somewhat better, but it was by no means safer thanks to the local crime gangs as well as super-villains like Discord and the Fear Shaman. Even Alcatrot Prison provided little protection for the ponies of the city as at that moment, a red unicorn prisoner was dashing for a helicopter that had just landed in the prison courtyard being piloted by a green earth pony. “Go, go, go!” the unicorn shouted towards the pilot, leaping into the helicopter as it began taking off to freedom, Alcatrot’s alarm klaxons fading into the distance.
At Manehattan Police Station Headquarters, a phone soon began ringing in Commissioner Applejack’s office as the earth pony commissioner picked it up. “This is Applejack,” the orange earth pony spoke into the phone before her eyes widened in shock at what she was hearing. “WHAT?”
Outside Applejack’s office, the police ponies were busy filing reports, taking calls, or, in the case of Detective Rainbow Dash, eating donuts. However, the mood soon changed as the Commissioner burst out of her office in a hurry. “There’s been a prison break by air from Alcatrot!” the earth pony explained. “The copter’s headin’ this way!” Immediately the rest of the police followed Applejack out of the work area to help deal with the fugitives. However, while nopony was looking, Rainbow Dash soon doubled back to finish the donut she had been eating before leaving to rejoin her fellow cops.
Inside the fugitive helicopter, the escaped unicorn prisoner chuckled triumphantly. “We’re home free,” he smirked to his companion as the helicopter continued flying through the skies of Manehattan. However, the two ponies didn’t notice Mare-Do-Well perched on the roof of a nearby skyscraper as they passed it until the unicorn vigilante suddenly fired a magical blast at the helicopter, causing it to buckle in the sky. “Whoa! What was that?” the unicorn wondered.
“Probably just some turbulence,” the earth pony replied nonchalantly. However, just then, Mare-Do-Well teleported herself onto the tail of the helicopter, silently hanging onto it as it flew through the night sky.
Among the buildings the helicopter flew over as it continued its flight from Alcatrot was a fancy restaurant called the Rose Café, where inside, District Attorney Luna Moonbeam was sitting with a female cream-colored earth pony with a red mane and tail with pink streaks in them, green eyes, and a rose cutie mark. A brown earth pony stallion with a thin mustache and a tray cutie mark soon approached the pair carrying a tray with food on it. “Por Madame, ze carrot soup,” the earth pony said in a Prench accent as he handed the soup to the cream-colored pony. “And por ze DA, hayseed salad,” he continued, handing the salad over to Luna.
“Thank you,” replied Luna, nodding to the waiter as he left before turning to her companion: “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Let’s eat!”
“I don’t know,” the earth pony said as she took a rose out from the centerpiece display and sniffing it. “Shouldn’t we wait for your friend?”
“Twilight?” asked Luna. “Nah, don’t worry about it, Roseluck, Twilight’s always late. She probably got hung up on business…”
Continuing to hold onto the helicopter, Mare-Do-Well soon fired a magical blast at the helicopter’s propellers, damaging them and causing the helicopter to fall to the roof of the skyscraper below, crashing against the side of the observation area.
The unicorn prisoner slowly got up from the crash as he made his way to the elevator door. “What was that?” the unicorn wondered confused. He soon got his answer as Mare-Do-Well suddenly popped up against the window of the helicopter, startling the fugitive.
“I hear she’s rich,” said Roseluck, taking a sip from a glass of water.
“That’s right,” confirmed Luna, cutting her salad. “Twilight runs with a high-class crowd…”
The red unicorn fugitive continued running across the rooftop, fleeing from Mare-Do-Well. The unicorn soon got an idea as he suddenly telekinetically grabbed a nearby led pipe and attempted to swing it at the hero. However, before he could do so, Mare-Do-Well suddenly tackled the escaped unicorn, resulting in a struggle between the two of them at the very edge of the skyscraper. The stallion soon gained the upper hand, pinning down Mare-Do-Well as he telekinetically raised the pipe up to smash down onto the unicorn heroine…
“…But she still manages to get her kicks in,” continued Luna.
Before the unicorn fugitive could bash Mare-Do-Well with the pipe, the vigilante suddenly bucked the stallion in the chest, causing him to fall over and drop the pipe.
“There’s nothing we don’t know about each other,” finished Luna, smiling at Roseluck. “I think you’ll like her.”
“If she’s your friend, I know I will,” grinned Roseluck in reply.
Mare-Do-Well soon approached the escaped prisoner, pulling him in close to her as he stammered in fear. “Wh-Who are you?” the red unicorn asked fearfully.
“Your worst nightmare,” Mare-Do-Well answered darkly, glaring at the other unicorn. Just then, a searchlight suddenly hone upon the convict and vigilante as a police chopper arrived at the scene.
“This is the police!” Rainbow Dash’s voice suddenly came from the copter. “We have you surrounded! Nopony move!” Mare-Do-Well soon released the unicorn escapee, who collapsed face-first in fear, as she teleported to safety.
With Mare-Do-Well already having prevented the fugitives from fleeing Manehattan, all that was left for the police to do was arrest the re-caught fugitives. As Commissioner Applejack watched Officer Spitfire, a yellow pegasus with an orange mane, tail, and eyes lead the red unicorn away, the unicorn could only stammer in fear: “B-B-Big wings!”
“Yeah, yeah, big wings,” replied Spitfire unimpressed. “Move it along!”
Meanwhile Mare-Do-Well was busy driving the Mare-mobile back towards Sparkle Mansion. She soon activated the vehicle’s on-board communications, causing Rarity’s image to appear in the computer screen. “Rarity: This prison break’s caused me to run a bit behind schedule,” the heroine explained.
“Fear not, Mistress Twilight,” the snow-white unicorn replied. “I have alerted Luna about your delay. She and Miss Roseluck patiently await your arrival at the Rose Café.”
“How’s the food?” asked Mare-Do-Well as she continued driving.
“In my humble opinion?” said Rarity. “Exquisite.”
The Mare-mobile soon arrived at Mare-Do-Well’s underground lair, where the unicorn got out to find Rarity waiting for her with some perfume and a comb. “I think I’ll be taking the Accord this evening, Rarity,” said Twilight as she removed her mask.
“As I anticipated,” replied Rarity smiling. “You’ll find it waiting out front with a full tank of gas.”
A few minutes later, Twilight was completely freshened up and was ready to depart. “Any recommendations, Rarity?” asked Twilight as she got into the car.
“If I may say, Mistress Twilight, might I suggest the fettuccine alfredo?” said Rarity.
“I’ll give it a try,” the other unicorn replied thoughtfully.
“A wise decision,” grinned Rarity as the car left Sparkle Mansion. “Bon appetite.”
It wasn’t long before Twilight Sparkle had arrived at the Rose Café, apologizing profusely to Luna and Roseluck for keeping them waiting. Once the purple unicorn had ordered and gotten her food and tea, the three of them were soon swapping stories and behaving like the old friends Twilight and Luna were.
Presently, the three of them were laughing as Twilight was just finishing up an anecdote from hers and Luna’s youth. “You should have seen the look on Luna’s face,” the unicorn finished, resulting in another round of laughter from the three ponies.
Just then, Roseluck gasped as she looked at her watch. “My, look at the time,” the cream-colored pony said. “Sorry, you two, I’ve got to run.”
“So soon?” asked Luna concerned.
“I’m sorry, I’ve got an early meeting tomorrow,” Roseluck explained. “But you stay. Spend some time with your crazy friend,” she continued, gesturing towards a grinning Twilight, “and call me the minute you get home, Ms. District Attorney,” Roseluck finished, giving a Luna a deep and lengthy kiss which an embarrassed Twilight eventually looked away from to give the other two ponies their privacy.
“I’ll…I’ll call you,” a flustered Luna eventually managed to say as Roseluck broke apart their kiss.
“That’s good,” said Roseluck, getting up to leave before turning to Twilight: “Nice meeting you, Twilight.”
“Same here,” the unicorn replied. Roseluck soon began walking out of the café, the attentions of the stallions she passed soon distracted by the sight of the beautiful earth pony that had just walked past them.
“So, what do you think?” asked Luna, noticing Twilight staring after Roseluck.
“Does she have any siblings?” asked Twilight, grinning at her friend.
“No, Rose is one of a kind,” replied Luna, the indigo alicorn grinning at her friend. “That’s why I’ve asked her to marry me.”
Shocked at this last statement, Twilight spat out the tea she had just been drinking. “Marry?” the purple unicorn repeated stunned.
“It’s going to be the page one headline tomorrow morning,” confirmed Luna smirking. She soon frowned as she began rubbing her neck with her hoof. “Is it just me, or is it getting warmer in here?”
“I think you’re still flushed from that kiss,” replied Twilight, grinning at Luna before getting serious: “Luna, you just signed her on as an intern last week.”
“And I already know she’s The One,” said Luna, beginning to wipe sweat off her face.
“But what about Starburst?” asked Twilight, referring to the stallion Luna had been going out with for the past two years. “Do you really think he’ll approve of you fooling around with somepony else?”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Starburst will come around eventually,” replied Luna, getting out a handkerchief which she soon began rubbing her face with. “Gosh, it’s hot in here.”
“Still, marriage is a major step, Luna,” continued Twilight, pressing on with her argument. “Don’t you think you’re rushing it?”
“No way,” continued Luna, shaking off a wave of dizziness. “The moment I laid eyes on Rose, love hit me right in the face.” As if on cue, Luna then collapsed face-first into the chocolate mousse she had ordered for dessert.
Twilight chuckled at the sight of this. “Luna, you’ve lost your mind,” the unicorn said, grinning. However, Luna didn’t get up. “Knock it off, Luna,” said Twilight concerned, getting up and heading over to her friend. She soon picked Luna up out of the mousse revealing the indigo alicorn unconscious and breathing weakly. “LUNA!” shouted Twilight, getting the attention of the other ponies in the restaurant.
An ambulance soon arrived to take Luna to Manehattan General Hospital, Twilight traveling with the paramedics there. “Hang on, Luna…hang on,” the unicorn said worriedly, following her friend into the ambulance as it took off from the Rose Cafe.
Soon the ambulance had arrived at the hospital. Immediately, several doctor and paramedic ponies loaded Luna onto a gurney as they began wheeling it over to the Intensive Care Unit.
“Isn’t that the District Attorney?” one nurse pony asked, noticing Luna.
“She’s not breathing,” another pony spoke up. “Do we have a pulse?” she asked, taking Luna’s hoof and feeling for a pulse.
“Get the EKG and move her into the OR!” ordered an earth pony doctor. “ICU 3, STAT!” Twilight Sparkle could only follow the other ponies silently, concerned about her old friend’s well-being.
At Manehattan Police Headquarters, Commissioner Applejack was in her office when she picked up a ringing phone. “This is Applejack,” the earth pony began before her eyes widened for the second time that night at what she was hearing. “WHAT?” she shouted again.
Outside the Commissioner’s office, the police ponies still on duty were busy filing the police report on the captured escapees from earlier that night when the Commissioner once again burst into the work area in a panic. “Luna Moonbeam’s in a coma at the hospital!” the earth pony shouted. “Move out!” Immediately the rest of the police followed Applejack out the door, although Rainbow Dash once again tried sneaking back to grab one last donut. This time, however, the rainbow-maned pegasus was stopped by Officer Spitfire, who grabbed the other pegasus by the ear, dragging her along with her.
“Come on, Dash!” shouted Spitfire irritated, dragging along an embarrassed Rainbow Dash.
By the time Applejack and the rest of the police force arrived at Manehattan General Hospital, Luna was already in the ICU, being watched over by Twilight Sparkle. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Spitfire soon joined the unicorn outside the room as the earth pony doctor from before began checking Luna’s heart rate with a stethoscope, frowning as he looked at the alicorn’s vital signs and coming to the only possible conclusion the evidence gave him…
The doctor soon made his way out of the ICU where he was accosted by Twilight and the three police ponies. “What’s the story, Doc?” asked Applejack, making her way over to the doctor. “Heart attack?”
“No, Commissioner,” answered the doctor gravely. “Miss Moonbeam has been poisoned!” The other four ponies’ eyes widened in shock as they heard this news.
“Land sakes…” breathed Applejack stunned. She soon put on her authoritive air as she turned towards her two subordinates: “Dash: Ah want you ta get down to that restaurant and figure out who did this! What’s it called again, Twilight?” she asked, turning to the unicorn.
“The Rose Café,” Twilight answered.
“The Rose Café!” repeated Applejack. “Get down there!”
“With pleasure, Commissioner,” said Rainbow Dash, leaving to head down to the restaurant.
Applejack then turned to Spitfire: “Spitfire: Ah want police guards on duty here ‘round the clock! Got it?”
“Yes, ma’am!” the yellow pegasus responded. Meanwhile, feeling that Applejack had Luna’s security well in hoof, Twilight soon headed over to the doctor, who was in his office, viewing a blood sample of Luna’s underneath a microscope.
“Excuse me, Doctor,” asked Twilight, entering the office. “Are we talking about food poisoning here?”
“I doubt it,” the doctor replied, looking up from his observations. “This is the most virulent strain of poison I’ve ever come across. Don’t worry, Miss Sparkle,” he added, getting up and starting to leave the office. “We’re doing everything we can to help your friend.”
“Is Luna going to be okay?” asked Twilight worried.
“I…don’t know,” the earth pony doctor admitted. “The poison is racing through her system. If the DA’s going to make it, we need to find the antidote, and fast!”
Twilight suddenly put on a thoughtful look as she came up with an idea. “Do you mind if I take that sample, Doctor?” she asked. “Maybe Twilight Industries’ scientists will have better luck finding the source of the poison and its antidote.”
“Well, it’s not like I can do anything more with it,” the doctor conceded as he left the office. “All right, but be careful with it.” Once the doctor had left, Twilight soon got out a handkerchief and removed the slide containing Luna’s blood sample from the microscope, staring at it. She was indeed going to investigate the source of Luna’s poisoning, but not as Twilight Sparkle, but rather as Mare-Do-Well…
Meanwhile, back at the Rose Café, Detective Rainbow Dash was fiercely interrogating the restaurant’s staff, currently glaring at the griffon chef Gustav who had made Luna’s desert.
“So what did you put in this ‘mousse’?” Dash asked accusingly, glaring at Gustav.
“Well, chocolate, sugar, eggs, crème…” Gustav listed.
“STRYCHNINE?” interrupted Dash, getting into Gustav’s face.
“No, no strychnine,” the griffon answered apologetically. “But I added just a pinch of vanilla.” Dash could only groan in annoyance at this, before turning to a blue earth pony in a waiter’s uniform.
“DO YOU KNOW WHO DID IT?” the rainbow-maned pegasus shouted at the other pony. “TALK!”
“Hey, I just do the dishes, okay?” the earth pony replied innocently, causing Rainbow Dash to once again groan in annoyance.
Inside Mare-Do-Well’s underground lair, the unicorn was busy analyzing the sample of Luna’s blood she’d gotten from the hospital on her crime computer as Rarity watched alongside her.
“We’ve isolated the toxin, Rarity,” Mare-Do-Well finally announced as the computer began printing out its findings. Rarity soon took the paper as she began reading the results.
“It appears to be a lethal poison that is derived from the plant Rosis Cei Volaris,” the purple-maned unicorn explained as Mare-Do-Well put in an image of the plant on the crime computer. “More colloquially known as the Wild Thorny Rose.”
“I’ll get a plant sample of it from the Manehattan Botanical Gardens,” said Mare-Do-Well, getting up and making her way over to the Mare-mobile. “We can use it to work up an antidote.”
“I’m afraid that choice of action’s unfeasible, Mistress Twilight,” replied Rarity regretfully as she continued reading the crime computer’s findings.
“Why’s that?” the other unicorn asked.
“Because the Wild Thorny Rose has been extinct for nearly five years, which means there is no antidote,” Rarity explained. “The last known field of them was torn up five years ago for the construction of…Alcatrot Prison…” she trailed off, realizing what was going on.
Mare-Do-Well frowned underneath her mask as she came to the same conclusion. “Well at least we now know the motive for Luna’s poisoning,” the heroine said, gazing at the image of the plant on the crime computer. “Unfortunately, there are at least a dozen eco-terrorist organizations in Manehattan capable of this, not to mention if the rose truly is extinct, then there’s no hope of getting an antidote for Luna…”
The shadowy pony who had saved the last Wild Thorny Rose five years earlier grinned in triumph as they cut off one of the rose stems from the main plant. Soon the poison of the very plant whose species Luna Moonbeam had made extinct would finish the DA off and their revenge would be complete…
At Manehattan General Hospital, Twilight Sparkle watched Luna from outside the ICU, the DA barely clinging onto life. “Fight, Luna,” whispered Twilight to herself. “Don’t let them win.” Even though her discovery had meant there was probably no cure for Luna, the unicorn wasn’t about to give up hope.
Just then the elevator doors across the hall opened up as a distraught-looking Roseluck entered the room. “Oh, Twilight,” the earth pony sighed. “I came as soon as I got your call. How is she?” she asked, standing next to Twilight as she gazed at the unconscious Luna.
“We’re…not sure,” said Twilight sadly, gazing at the helpless form of her old friend. “Unless the doctors manage to find an antidote for her, she’s not going to make it.”
“I want to see her,” said Roseluck, gazing at Luna.
“Sorry, ma’am, no visitors,” replied Officer Spitfire, guarding the doors of the ICU. “Commissioner Applejack’s orders.”
Roseluck soon burst into tears as she continued staring at Luna’s form, causing Twilight to take the cream-colored pony and lead her away from the ICU. “Come on, Roseluck,” the unicorn said sympathetically as she took the sobbing Roseluck past Spitfire. “You should get some sleep. I’ll walk you to your car.”
Once Twilight and Roseluck arrived at where Roseluck was keeping her car in the parking garage, the cream-colored earth pony blew her nose with a tissue. “Promise to call me if there’s any change?” she asked Twilight as the unicorn opened the car door.
“I will,” promised Twilight, taking the other pony by the hoof. “Now go home and get some rest.”
“Luna’s lucky to have such a good friend like you, Twilight Sparkle,” said Roseluck, taking the purple unicorn by the shoulders and moving in to kiss her. However, at the last second, the earth pony moved her head away, turning into a hug instead. Twilight, remembering the deep kiss Roseluck had planted Luna with at the Rose Café, immediately found this as suspicious, but said nothing.
Roseluck soon pulled away from the hug as she entered her car. “Good night, Twilight,” the earth pony said.
“You too, Rose,” replied Twilight, closing the car door behind Roseluck. Once Roseluck’s car had left the parking garage, Twilight frowned. Maybe it was time to do some digging on Luna’s new fiancée…
A few minutes later, Twilight was driving back to Sparkle Mansion in her car as she called Rarity. “Rarity: I want you to dig up anything you can on Roseluck,” the purple unicorn requested. “Who she is, where she’s been, what she does, the works.”
“Consider it done, Mistress Twilight,” replied Rarity as she went to work with the research.
Once Twilight had returned to Mare-Do-Well’s underground lair an hour later, Rarity was waiting for the other unicorn with a full dossier on Roseluck. “What do you have, Rarity?” asked Twilight.
“Miss Roseluck is a research chemist with the cosmetics firm Chez Gerard,” Rarity explained as she had photographs of Roseluck and the Chez Gerard office building appear on the crime computer. “She works on the development of new fragrances, such as their recent product ‘Nightshade’,” the white unicorn continued as the Chez Gerard office building photograph was replaced with images of the ‘Nightshade’ advertising campaign as well as its tagline “It’s deadly.”
“So she would have the knowledge of plants to make a poison from the Wild Thorny Rose,” observed Twilight as she began changing into her Mare-Do-Well costume. “Is there anything on her that would suggest a motivation to do so?”
“I was just getting to that,” replied Rarity, replacing the ‘Nightshade’ images with a shot of Manehattan University. “Miss Roseluck has a PhD in Botany from Manehattan University, where she gives a monthly lecture series on endangered and extinct plant species. Attendants describe her to be very passionate about the subject to say the least.”
“Well, then I think it’s a safe bet to say that Luna’s engagement is off,” said Mare-Do-Well, levitating her fedora onto her head and heading over to the Mare-mobile.
An hour later, Mare-Do-Well was making her way along the rooftop of a large greenhouse registered in Roseluck’s name. Staring down through the greenhouse’s glass ceiling, the unicorn heroine soon saw Roseluck in a gardener’s hat, gloves, and hairnet, cutting the leaves of a plant Mare-Do-Well immediately recognized as the Wild Thorny Rose.
“Oh, you’ve done so well, today, sweetheart,” the cream-colored earth pony said sweetly to the plant, taking off her gardener’s hat. “Now get some rest, and don’t worry: I won’t clip off any more of your beautiful petals…unless I need them!” she finished darkly.
Roseluck soon turned off the lights in the greenhouse before making her way over to a nearby tape recorder and turning it on, causing classical music to begin playing throughout the greenhouse. Smiling, the earth pony soon made her way behind a nearby curtain as she removed her gloves and hairnet, letting her red-and-pink mane once again flow freely down her head.
Meanwhile, Mare-Do-Well had made her way into the greenhouse through the roof and was soon galloping over to where Roseluck was getting changed. The unicorn vigilante was halfway across the greenhouse when suddenly a trap door opened from beneath her, causing Mare-Do-Well to fall down a deep pit where several razor-sharp cacti awaited her below. Thinking quickly, the unicorn soon grabbed a nearby vine and used it to swing herself over to the over side of the trap door.
Unfortunately, the “vine” Mare-Do-Well had grabbed onto soon turned out to be part of a carnivorous plant as it suddenly wrapped itself around Mare-Do-Well’s top right hoof, bearing its fangs at the masked unicorn. Two more “vines” soon wrapped themselves around Mare-Do-Well’s top left hoof and chest, dragging the heroine over to where a giant Venus flytrap was waiting to eat her.
Mare-Do-Well’s struggles to free herself from the flytrap’s grip soon caught Roseluck’s attention. “What has my sweet flytrap caught this time?” the cream-colored pony wondered, peeking out from behind the curtain.
As Roseluck watched, Mare-Do-Well soon put her hind hooves against the side of the Venus flytrap and began using them to kick the plant’s teeth in. “Hmm…a little big for a fly,” Roseluck observed, chuckling as she soon turned on the spotlights, revealing herself dressed in a sleeveless and legless green leotard with a small wrist-crossbow attached to her front right hoof. “Mare-Do-Well!” exclaimed Roseluck, gazing at the unicorn heroine. “To what do I owe the honor for this late-night rendezvous?”
“Luna…Moonbeam…” explained Mare-Do-Well, struggling to free herself from the Venus flytrap’s grip.
“Oh, the poor District Attorney,” realized Roseluck in an overdramatic tone. “I hear she’s not expected to live. How sad.” Roseluck soon began crying fake crocodile tears before turning it into a full-on evil laugh.
“Why…Roseluck?” asked Mare-Do-Well, continuing to struggle against the flytrap.
“Please…call me Thorn Briar,” the earth pony explained. “You see…even the DA isn’t above the law, and Luna had to pay for her crime.”
“What crime?” asked Mare-Do-Well confused.
“Why…murder, of course,” explained Thorn Briar with the tone of a parent explaining to their child that one plus one equaled two. “Plowing up a field of wildflowers for that silly penitentiary of hers.” She soon made her way over to the Wild Thorny Rose as she continued: “This little rose would be extinct if I hadn’t saved my precious from those horrible bulldozers!” she finished darkly. “The blood of those flowers is on her hooves!” the earth pony shouted angrily.
Just as sudden as Thorn Briar’s temper tantrum came about, she soon calmed down eerily as she got out a stick of lipstick. “So I sealed her fate…with a kiss!” the cream-colored pony explained as she rubbed the poisonous lipstick on her lips. “As I will now do to you!” she finished as two more of the Venus flytrap’s “vines” grabbed Mare-Do-Well by the head and got her into position.
Walking over to the tied-up Mare-Do-Well, Thorn Briar removed the bottom half of the unicorn vigilante’s mask before kissing her right on the lips. The unicorn soon began trying to spit the poison out to no avail. “Aw, what’s wrong?” Thorn Briar asked mockingly as Mare-Do-Well’s vision of the earth pony super-villain suddenly started going blurry. “Afraid I have cooties? Look, now you’ve gone and hurt my feelings,” complained the earth pony in mock hurt as Mare-Do-Well continued trying to spit out the poison. “Too bad,” she continued, taking out a small purple perfume bottle. “I was going to share the antidote with you. It’s a lovely fragrance, don’t you think?” asked Thorn Briar, opening the bottle underneath Mare-Do-Well’s nose before spraying some of the antidote onto herself. “I call it ‘Rose From the Dead.’”
Suddenly, Mare-Do-Well kicked at Thorn Briar, knocking the earth pony aside, as the masked heroine wrapped her hind legs around the greenhouse’s sprinkler system. As the flytrap started trying to pull her into its mouth again, Mare-Do-Well telekinetically levitated the clippers Roseluck had been using earlier to cut the leaves of the Wild Thorny Rose over to her and used them to cut off the “vines” the flytrap was using to restrain her, causing the flytrap to shriek in pain. “NO!” shrieked Thorn Briar in outrage as Mare-Do-Well leapt down in front of the environmentally-obsessed earth pony.
However, it seemed that Mare-Do-Well’s luck had chosen to run out just then as the unicorn vigilante suddenly attempted to fight off another wave of dizziness brought about by the poison. “MURDERER!” shouted an enraged Thorn Briar, aiming her wrist-crossbow and firing at Mare-Do-Well, who ducked just in time, causing Thorn Briar’s arrow to rip through the Venus flytrap. The earth pony gave another outraged gasp at the sight of this before reloading her crossbow and attempting to fire again at Mare-Do-Well, who managed to avoid the darts as they landed in trees and plant growth formulas.
Getting an idea, Mare-Do-Well soon teleported herself on top of one of the spotlights Thorn Briar had turned on, causing the red-and-pink-maned pony to once again aim her crossbow at Mare-Do-Well and fire. This time, however, Mare-Do-Well teleported away from the spotlight as the arrow tore through the cable connecting the spotlight with the roof of the greenhouse, causing the spotlight to fall through a tree into a nature pond, the broken cables immediately causing the plants in the greenhouse to catch on fire. “NO!” screamed Thorn Briar as she watched all of her precious plants burn around her.
Deciding to cut her losses and retreat, Thorn Briar soon made her way back to the Wild Thorny Rose and grabbed it as she attempted to make her escape. However, every direction the environmentally-obsessed super-villain attempted go in, she found herself cut off by flames. A burning tree nearly fell onto her, but she was saved in the nick of time by Mare-Do-Well, who tackled the cream-colored earth pony out of the way.
Getting up, Thorn Briar soon noticed Mare-Do-Well hanging onto the edge of the trap door, still weak from the poison. Grinning malevolently, the earth pony soon got up and aimed her crossbow at the unicorn. “Enjoy extinction, Mare-Do-Well!” shouted Thorn Briar triumphantly as she prepared to finish the masked heroine off.
“I’m not going alone,” replied Mare-Do-Well, lifting up her hoof to reveal the Wild Thorny Rose in it, much to Thorn Briar’s concern. “Your choice, Thorn Briar,” said Mare-Do-Well, holding the flower over the flames. “The plant for the antidote. What’s it going to be?”
Grinding her teeth in anger, Thorn Briar soon dropped the perfume bottle over to Mare-Do-Well, who made her way over to take the bottle as she handed the plant over to Thorn Briar. “Oh, my baby…My precious baby!” Thorn Briar sobbed as Mare-Do-Well took some of the antidote, making sure to save some for Luna.
Once Mare-Do-Well had taken the antidote, she soon grabbed Thorn Briar and the Wild Thorny Rose and teleported the three of them out of the greenhouse just before the fire caused it to collapse. “My pretty baby,” said Thorn Briar, stroking the plant as Mare-Do-Well watched the earth pony in silence.
At Manehattan General Hospital, Luna Moonbeam soon woke up to find Twilight Sparkle, Commissioner Applejack, Detective Rainbow Dash, and the earth pony doctor watching over her. “Where am I?” the alicorn wondered.
“You’re in the hospital, Luna,” replied Twilight smiling.
“Why? What happened?” Luna asked confused.
“You got poisoned and passed out into your chocolate mousse,” explained Rainbow Dash as the earth pony doctor put a thermometer into Luna’s mouth to take her temperature.
“But we caught the pony who did it and yer gonna be fine now,” replied Applejack reassuringly.
“Now, Luna,” said Twilight, looking down at her friend, “about your engagement to Roseluck: We’re good friends, right?” Luna nodded in confirmation. “And we’ve got to be honest with each other, right?” Another nod. “Okay then: I think Rose is wrong for you.”
“Boy, ain’t that Understatement o’ the Year,” chuckled Applejack amused, much to Luna’s confusion.
At Alcatrot Prison, two earth pony security guards were standing watch over a cell.
“So this is where they’re keeping that new arrival?” the first guard asked the other. “The one who tried to poison the DA?”
“Right,” the second one answered. “At least until the judge formally passes her sentence tomorrow. Wouldn’t surprise me if she’s sent to Dysart rather than here.”
“I agree,” the first guard replied. “I actually heard her talking to that flower she brought in earlier. If talking to plants isn’t a sign of insanity, I don’t know what is!”
Inside the cell, Roseluck rocked back and forth on her bunk, staring vacantly. “They can bury me in the ground, as deep as they like,” the earth pony said. “But I’ll grow back,” she said, getting up and making her way over to the Wild Thorny Rose, staring at it. “We always grow back, don’t we baby?”