"Yeesh. I don’t know what the old Grogar's cleaning service was like, but this old lair could certainly use a good makeover." Discord quietly muttered to himself as he glanced around the foyer of the villainous lair on his way towards the exit, not wanting to alert the three villains that were currently resting in their nearby bedchambers. It was an early rainy morning, and he had to step out of the cave for a minute, and he didn’t want to have to explain what the Lord Of Chaos was doing in the fortress, when just a minute ago they were looking at the large, blue, horned image of the first emperor of Equestria, the almighty ram Grogar.
"I better slip out of this place now that I’ve gone and changed back. Walking on all fours these past few days has just been murder on my nails!" He massaged his sore fingers, which stretched out and squeaked like balloon animals as he touched them. "Honestly, I’m starting to regret disguising myself as that frail old ram of all villains." Discord said to himself as he stepped on the big rock platforms. "I could have been that giant lava monster I bunked with back in university. A lair inside a VOLCANO? How cool would THAT be?"
A strange loud beeping sound from his wrist watch caught his attention, and he quickly shut it off before it attracted anycreature. "My goodness!" He gasped as he looked at the four small arrows pointing in all different directions. "It’s almost noon-thirty. Fluttershy must be expecting me by now." He remembered that he was supposed to be meeting his Pegasus girlfriend, Fluttershy, for a lunch date that they had arranged at a popular establishment within Restaurant Row in Canterlot. "Ah well. I’m sure those three idiots won’t notice if their fearless leader leaves for an hour or two."
Glancing around one last time at the ominously glowing lair that was now his part-time home, the tall draconnequs sighed happily. "Adieu for now, my humble abode. I have a beautiful pony waiting for me in Canterlot, and I don’t want to keep her waiting another minute!" He raised his bear paw, ready to snap himself out of there, when suddenly...
"Uh, hello? Is someone there?" A cute little voice echoed through the walls of the lair. Discord cringed. Great, just great. He really had to step out right now, and of course SHE of all of them suddenly needed something from him. As the tiny pink Pegasus fluttered her tiny wings into the large room, Discord barely had time to get down on his hands and knees and transform once more into the sharp, intimidating goat, immediately getting back into character as he glared his bright yellow eyes at the annoying little pegasus. Great. Simply teleporting out wasn’t an option now. He’d just have to see what she wanted.
"Grogar? Are you busy?" Cozy Glow called out as she fluttered around the tall table in the dead center of the room. "I heard someone talking." She looked into his glowing crystal ball that was mounted on the table, with clear bemusement. "And I can tell by the fact that you aren’t gazing into your silly little globe here like you’re SUPPOSED to that you must be super busy with them."
She was taken by surprise as the ram suddenly leapt onto the table in front of Cozy and knocked her to the floor with a burst of yellow magic from his mighty horns. "Stay away from my globe, you little brat!" He growled, and placed a hoof protectively against it. "This is my all-seeing eye! My only glimpse of the outside world!" He pointed a stubby glowing hoof at Cozy as she struggled to climb to her feet, and pulled her up to eye level. "And it’s worth more than you’ll ever be in your miserable little life!"
Cozy Glow scoffed, simply shooing away the bright yellow aura around her neck and flying onto the bench nearby. "Well, I suppose that’s true. And if you really don’t think I’m that worth having around, maybe I’ll just trot my way out of here and you can find some other villain to work for you who’s as manipulative as me!" She grinned and turned to the exit like she was actually considering it. Beneath the disguise, Discord heaved a sigh. His reason for recruiting her into his plan was obvious. This filly was good.
Grogar lit his whole body up and levitated off the table in a magic ball, and in a flash he appeared before Cozy, blocking her exit from his lair as he snorted angrily right in her face. "Stop right there!" He stomped his hoof on the ground. "You three aren’t going ANYWHERE! Not until we find a way to finally destroy Twilight Sparkle and her friends. I already told you all I’m searching for another powerful artifact, since you three have already failed to retrieve my-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your weird little bell. We get it, we weren’t able to get it." She looked away with a small smirk that Grogar didn’t notice. "You don’t need to remind us every five minutes." She was interrupted by a loud grumble coming from her stomach. "Oh, right. Listen, so Tirek, Chrysalis and I are in the mood for some lunch, and I was just wondering-"
Grogar waved her away with his hoof and continued hopping across the rocks towards the exit. "There’s plenty of food stashed away in your chambers! Now stop bothering me, and don’t leave your garbage out again! Sheesh..."
Turning the corner and hiding behind some stalagmites, Grogar let out an annoyed sigh. If he had to spend one more day with Cozy and her annoying questions he was going to go crazy. Well, crazier. He was just about to transform back into Discord when he suddenly heard an annoyed cough, and he turned his head and found Cozy right there, leaning against a rock like a gangster. How on Earth did she do that?
"Anyways, we don’t want any more of that crummy food you give us! It tastes worse than the pies Professor Pinkie Pie used to make for us in class."
Oh, she was taught by Pinkie Pie. That explains a lot. Discord thought to himself.
"We want to go outside the lair and get something GOOD somewhere!" She said and clapped her fore hooves excitedly. Grogar rolled his eyes and groaned. Fine. This was fine. He’d just meet up with Fluttershy, then snap up some food and bring it back to the lair.
As if she’d read his mind, Cozy flew up and bopped him on the snout. "Aaaand we want you to get it right now!"
Grogar felt his goat AND draconnequs blood boiling. Fine! He’d slip out of the lair, snap up some food, feed these nasty little buggers, and THEN go to meet Fluttershy!
"Alright! You wait here!" Grogar commanded as he finally, FINALLY reached the exit. "What do you three feel like? Some candy? Maybe some chicken wings?" He glanced back at her smirking expression. "Or a salad! I actually know a friendly salad who could-"
He turned his head and suddenly bumped into Cozy’s squishy growling stomach as she once again seemed to teleport in front of him. "Oh, actually, we were thinking about someplace else!" She tapped a hoof against her chin in mock thought. "Oh, I know! How about McDonald's?"
Now Grogar threw his head back and laughed. This puny pegasus had made some strange requests in the past but this was pushing it. "MCDONALD'S? Oh, please! What do I look like, a trotting vending machine? The answer is NO!" His eyes lit up in anger as he spoke. Discord always hated that stupid place, from the moment he’d first went there a few years ago with Screwball. The kids there were annoying, the place was cheesy and childish, and the food was expensive and soggy. If he went to that cash cow kiddie restaurant right now, especially looking like Grogar, he’d become a huge laughingstock... and the sight of Grogar and Cozy Glow having returned would probably freak out everypony and cause mass hysteria.
And worst of all, he’d miss out on time with Fluttershy!
He froze as he imagined her, sitting in the restaurant, stomach rumbling impatiently as she waited for him. "Oh, and by the way, I heard there’s a McDonald’s somewhere in Canterlot." Cozy said. "You can take me there, and then when we’re done you can look around for that new artifact you were talking about."
Discord perked up as he considered it. It was actually a pretty good idea. He could take Cozy to McDonald’s to pick up lunch as Grogar, eat with Fluttershy as himself, AND send Cozy away to find the artifact. "Alright." He said finally, pointing a menacing hoof at her. "But if YOUR'E coming with me, we’ll need to do it secretly."
He sat down on the ground and propped his head up on a hoof in thought. "If only there was some way we could hide ourselves while we’re there, like in some sort of magic moving vehicle like a chariot, and we wouldn’t even have to enter the building to order... but that sounds impossible, even for me."
Cozy groaned. He obviously wasn’t going to figure this out on her own. But being the scheming Pegasus she was, she’d already planned for that. She turned and flew out of the lair while Grogar was distracted, and she soon returned to his surprise, driving a big red sports car, which she and Tirek has stolen together days prior. She rolled down the front window and glanced down at the goat. "Need a lift?"
Discord growled swear words to himself, hoping Fluttershy would at least find the car impressive, and he teleported into the front seat, pushing Cozy into the booster chair in the passenger seat next to him, feeling the smooth leather of the chair against his back as he struggled to arrange himself in his seat, eventually lying on his stomach and controlling the wheel with his magic.
"Now we're talking!" He declared as he drove the car out of the lair, running over several plants in the surrounding forest in the process. He’d have to hire Mistmane to fix up the greenery sometime. "Now, I'll go to McDonald’s and get you three your lunches. Then we’ll try to find the artifact and come straight back." He glanced over at Cozy, who innocently strapped herself into her seatbelt. "Any questions?"
Cozy rubbed her arm and grinned nervously as she looked out at the raindrops gently running down the window. "Um, yeah, could we go back to the cave for a second? I have to pee first."
Even in the land of Equestria, driving a big sports car in public is hard enough. Especially when you’re furiously trying to drive the acquaintance in your passenger seat to her favourite 24 hour restaurant. Not to mention when you’re secretly planning on meeting up with your girlfriend at a nearby place at the exact same time, and you have to multitask.
Now, add to that the immense stress of trying pathetically to drive with your magic, while looking like your friendly neighbourhood Lord Of Chaos, currently disguised as an evil emperor ram, plowing through a royal city full of ponies that pretty much hate you either way, while the small pink Pegasus sitting with you as your acquaintance constantly bugs you with her orders for a burger and a side of fries and-
"Two burgers."
Sorry, two burgers and a side of fries at your desired location that was the newly opened McDonald’s. But for a newly opened restaurant, Grogar had a pretty hard time trying to find it, but he was hardly even paying attention to it. On the inside, his Discord-y brain raced as he tried to remember where exactly Fluttershy told him to meet.
Driving the car down the concrete, almost glowing roads of the city of Canterlot, Grogar tried to make sure that he and Cozy weren’t seen by any of the passing ponies, which they thankfully weren’t. Either because nopony really remembered who either of them were by now, or because they were driving down the street too fast... or just not well enough. After the hour-long drive over from the lair, Discord was having trouble steering a car like a regular pony, especially in this complicated goat form. He had ran over a few gardens, maybe crashed into a street lamp or two every few minutes. The draconnequs couldn’t even remember the last time he’d driven a car... or when all these street lamps started appearing in forests.
"So, Grogar, what are YOU going to order at McDonald’s?" Cozy Glow interrupted his thoughts, asking her large blue chaperone the question for the millionth time as she flashed him that same annoying smile. Grogar simply scoffed. "I’m not ORDERING anything, you little pipsqueak, remember? I'm simply bringing you here so that you can eat and order for the others, and in the meantime I am setting out to find the that artifact we need to finally vanquish Twilight Sparkle and her friends!"
"Meh, whatever. I just want me a burger right now." Cozy simply stated, before crossing her hooves over her growling belly and quickly falling fast asleep in her chair. Discord groaned in his own voice, resting his furry chin on the steering wheel as his goat horns glowed with his powerful magic, massaging his chin and steering the car for him as he thought to himself out loud. "I can’t take her anymore! If she plays one more Songbird Serenade song on the radio, I’m going to lose my mind. Well, what’s left of it, I guess. I’ve simply got to find Fluttershy right away so that we can have our little lunch date and then I won’t have so much on my plate. Literally."
He paused, briefly glancing over Cozy’s blue loofa-like hair, and in that quick moment, he noticed a familiar noise yellow pink-haired Pegasus sitting at a table outside an old-fashioned restaurant as the car drove past. His eyes lit up with excitement. He’d finally found her. The least she could have done was given him directions.
"That’s IT!" He yelled, switching back to his impression of the gravelly goat's voice upon uttering the last syllable. He slammed on the brakes, causing the car to screech to a halt in the middle of the road, nearly throwing Cozy through the front window, ensuring that she was now awake.
”Wha! What?" She sat up and shook her head wildly, looking around. "Oh, golly! What’s happening? Are we there yet?"
"Uhhhh..." Grogar’s voice trailed off as he looked out his window at the big, yellow, cheesy-looking restaurant he had the car in front of. Atop it's red sunny roof rested a gigantic, terrifying-looking balloon of a pony wearing a big afro, dressed as a clown and sticking his hoof out in a frozen wave. Discord grimaced to himself. Bah, please! THIS is what gives the little ponies nightmares nowadays? I can turn rain into pigs blood and transform apple trees into monsters! THAT thing looks like a grilled cheese sandwich and a bottle of ketchup had a baby.
"Yippee! We’re here!" Cozy cheered and flapped her wings furiously in her seat. "I’m gonna get some burgers and fries and nuggets and some sod-" Her cries were muffled as Grogar jammed his hoof into her puny little mouth. "SILENCE! Do you want all of Equestria to know that you’re free and here in this car? Just wait here."
Grogar flung open the big car door and planted his hooves firmly on the sidewalk. As soon as he had blinked his small rectangular eyes against the brightness of the sun, he was suddenly approached by a strange-looking pony. A unicorn dressed as a smaller version of the monstrosity sitting atop the building hopped up to him, holding a flyer up to the ram's nose. "Hey there, friend!" He chirped excitedly. "Heading over for a bite to eat? How’d you like to have 50% off your next Happy Meal order? All you have to do is show 'em this flyer and-"
Ignoring the frightening sounds of the streams of blood pouring out of the pony's mouth as Grogar sliced his throat all the way open and threw his gargling body into the bushes, Cozy Glow hopped over into the drivers seat and hissed at him, "Grogar! What are you DOING? We have to stay in the CAR, remember?"
Grogar gave her a cheeky smile. "Uh, I know. But first I’m just, uh... making sure these puny ponies know that even after a millennia, I am still a powerful force to be reckoned with!" He pointed at the car door and his hoof lit up, forcing the open door to close, slamming Cozy’s face against it like mashed potatoes. "Uh, you just stay there for a minute. I have to make sure the area is completely empty!" He leapt out of Cozy’s sight, briefly ducking behind the car and glancing around. Cozy slumped back in the seat and sighed. "If he was going to do that, why did I even bring this car?" She settled down in her chair for another nap. "I could have gone and held up a bank or something..."
Fluttershy sat alone at her table for two in the shade outside the orange decorated facade of the Tasty Treat, glancing angrily down at her phone, anger building up in her chest at how late her boyfriend was. Where was he already? Why wasn’t he answering his phone? What could Discord be doing right now that was more important than meeting her for lunch? Maybe he was up in Celestia's castle, drawing on Philomena's face as she took her afternoon nap in her cage. She wish she could have texted him one more time, but It often took her up to ten minutes to type and send a single text. Curse these stupid hooves...
Suddenly, in a burst of magic, the chair across from her transformed into a giant red throne, seeping with a chaotic red mist that Fluttershy recognized immediately. A minute later, Discord’s long thin form suddenly shot up in the seat across from her like a waving inflatable balloon man. "Phew!" He wiped sweat from his forehead, which landed in the empty vase between them and sprouted a tall bouquet of flowers in the blink of an eye. "Fluttershy, my dear, I’m back! Sorry about that."
Fluttershy slapped her forehead. ”Sorry for WHAT? This is the first time I’ve seen you all day!" She growled. "Oh, right. Uh..." Discord nervously looked around and picked up the flowers in the vase and held them out to her. "Flowers?"
Fluttershy sighed and leaned back in her chair. Her stomach roared with hunger and she silenced her belly with a rub of her hoof. "Discord, I’m starving! I was waiting until you got here to order!" She folded her arms and rolled her eyes. "Because you can NEVER decide what you want to eat. Honestly, how can a creature with teleportation powers like yours always be so late to everything?"
Discord blushed. "Well, Fluttershy. It just so happens that I had a late night last night, doing, uh..." He thought back to twelve hours ago when he was Grogar, chasing a puny little mouse out of Chrysalis' bedchambers at the lair as she backed herself into the corner away from the mouse and squealed in fright.
"Well?" Fluttershy asked.
"... I was mmmmowing the lawn!" Discord finally lied, putting his lion paw on the tabletop and transforming it into a mini lawn mower. "Yes, mowing the lawn! I do it once every week! Those parasprites have just been eating away at the grass lately when it gets too tall. It’s very distracting to my reading."
Fluttershy just shrugged and pulled up her menu. Discord breathed a sigh of relief. Keeping all these heartbreaking, disgusting lies about pretending to be the villainous Grogar were getting harder and harder to keep as time let on. He quickly pulled his eyes out of his head and squeezed them tightly to wring out all the sweat before putting them back in his head and folding his hands on the table.
"Anyways, I'm ever so flattered you enjoy spending so much time with me, Fluttershy, but I don’t see why we even have to eat out like this! Especially since nopony in this city still really likes me." He glanced over at a fancy-looking couple from Sires Hollow sitting at a nearby table and shooting him dirty looks. "And I just have no idea why. After all, I AM the Lord Of Chaos for a reason, you know! I could summon an entire restaurant of my own right here if I wanted!" He looked down at the menu. "And maybe not serve food with names that sounds like they were taken from an enchantment table!"
He raised his fingers to snap them as if daring her, but he was interrupted by the distant sound of a horn honking. He looked out into the distance, his eye twitching. "You’ve gotta be kidding me..."
Thankfully, Fluttershy didn’t hear the horn as she was focused on the menu. "So, what looks good? I know you can probably just snap up all the bits you want to pay with," She set down her menu and looked up at Discord with an innocent smile. "But, um, Angel Bunny really doesn’t want me to spend much of the money that we’ve saved together, so maybe..."
Discord suddenly teleported onto the table onto the menu, now much smaller and clutching at his crotch. "Yes yes yes, of course. But oh, you’ll have to excuse me for a moment! I left the house quickly this morning after a big glass of water..."
"Oh, I thought you had the power to turn your water into wine?" Fluttershy questioned.
"Oh, yes I do. But it seems I drank a bit too much and now I really need to use the potty." He teleported back to his seat at regular size and pushed away from his royal seat. "If you’ll excuse me. I need to transition from one throne to another..."
"Oh, but, um..." The yellow pegasus protested, but Discord was already gone in a thick cloud of smoke. She sighed. "Why does he always grab at himself when he needs to use the bathroom. It’s not like there’s anything DRAWN down there..."
Marching back through the alleyway towards his car, Grogar seethed with rage as he saw that Cozy had moved their ride from it’s spot on the road, and it was now in the parking lot, which was pretty empty aside from a few chariots. The ram lit up his horns and threw open the side door, where he found Cozy Glow, grinning smugly and about to place her hoof back onto the horn. "Hey, Grogar! You getting my message?"
"HOW could you move the car?" He whispered. "I had told you to wait until I returned, did I not?" He got back into the car, again throwing Cozy into the passenger seat and thinking. "The others are probably waiting on us! We just have to order our food and get back home! But how will we order?"
Cozy groaned. "It’s easy! Just go through the drive-thru! You say what foods you want into the speakers and they just hand it to you. They probably don’t even see our faces at all!"
Discord was surprised. "Wait, SERIOUSLY?" He accidentally spoke in his own voice, but played it off as a cough and returned to the Grogar voice. "You don’t even need to enter the damned place?" Cozy nodded. "Eeyup! My dad showed me that when I was younger. Although most of the time he tried to say his order into the garbage can. I ended up having to bribe the cashier to give us free food."
Cozy and Grogar laughed as he started up the car and drove it around the restaurant to the drive thru lane. "Now," Grogar huffed and looked back down at Cozy, who already had a couple of little pink napkins ready. "I have a feeling that this is the most frustrating part. Now that we’re finally, FINALLY here, what do the three of you all want again?"
"Oh, golly, that’s easy. Um..." Cozy Glow thought hard about it, but ultimately came up empty. "Oh, I don’t remember what I wanted. And I think I might have forgotten to ask Tirek and Chrysalis."
While Discord banged his hard furred head furiously on the steering wheel and regretted every life choice he'd ever made in his existence to bring himself to this moment, Cozy Glow suddenly remembered. "Oh, I know! They’re both pretty big orders, though. But don’t worry, I memorized EVERY employee that ever worked at a McDonald’s over the years ever since my very first time eating here."
Grogar rolled his eyes as he massaged his aching forehead. "I’m not surprised. So what?" When he looked back, she was cheerfully hopping out of the car and marching around the car in the direction of the Employees Only door. "So while you were gone, I noticed a new pony working at this place." She called out. "She probably doesn’t even know me at all, which is PERFECT! I’ll have our food in no time!" She said cheerily with a wave of her hoof, for almost half of the parking lot to hear.
"Wait just one..." Grogar started to protest, but it was too late, as she’d already opened the door and disappeared shortly into the restaurant. "Hoo colt, that filly never listens!" He was about to follow her, but he froze as he saw an unexpected figure in the distance. A familiar bright yellow Pegasus was approaching the restaurant. "Oh, crap!" Discord growled, and a second later he had abandoned his seat.
As Fluttershy approached the McDonald’s, she was blindsided by another loud POOF! as Discord now stood before her, now dressed as a magician. "Fluttershy, my dear, where ever are you going? I was just practicing a new magic trick that I was about to show you." He reached behind his back and pulled out a nickel, a gummy bear, and a big jug of diet root beer. "This is sure to blow your tiny pony mind!"
Fluttershy giggled and waved him away with her hoof. "Oh, that’s all well and nice, Discord, but I decided, since you were taking too long to order at that other place, we could try eating out someplace a little easier, like McDonald’s!"
Discord felt ice flooding his veins as he tapped his fingers together nervously. "Oh, uh, I don’t know if that’s really necessary. I don’t think you should really eat any of the food here, because uh..."
Fluttershy gasped, looking over her body and putting both of her hooves on her belly. ""Why? Are you calling me fat?" Discord facepalmed, dragging the stretch of his face down with his paw. "No, no, not at all, my dear! I simply-"
He took that moment to grow a second pair of eyes on the back of his head to gaze through the restaurant's windows. He saw, to his unfortunate dismay, Cozy Glow standing at the counter, seemingly deep in a heated argument with the pony standing at the cash register.
"Oy, vey- oh, I mean!" Discord brought his attention back to Fluttershy, wagging a finger in her face. "Yes yes yes! You are absolutely right, Fluttershy! I completely agree!"
Fluttershy brightened up. "Oh, goodie! So we CAN go and eat inside." She kissed Discord’s paw and headed for the restaurant. "I knew you’d understand!"
Discord groaned so loudly that it could almost be heard in Ponyville. Why, oh WHY did this have to be so difficult. "Sure! Go ahead! I’m right behind you!" He snapped his fingers and disappeared once again. The root beer that was levitating in the air feel back to Earth and splattered all over Fluttershy. She grumbled the most polite curse word that she could think of and sat down on the sidewalk. Now she was covered in the messy drink, and it was really making her need to pee.
"What do you MEAN, you don’t make it anymore?" Cozy Glow screeched as she pitter pattered her hooves on the counter with frustration. Thankfully, the rest of the diner was mostly empty except for her, some workers, and another innocent filly sitting near the restroom doors. "My friend really wants to have a McDLT for his lunch. He says he hasn’t had it since he was younger and hotter, which I’m pretty sure was like a billion years ago!"
"Exactly," The employee sighed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Listen kid, I’m not sure how long you and your friend have been gone, but we don’t make that anymore!" She shrugged. "You’ll just have to order something else from our menu."
Cozy's fur stood on end with anger, and she was about to scream for the establishments manager, when she felt a sudden burst of light beneath her, and gazed down to find a large black hole about to swallow her up. "Woah-!" She cried out before she fell through, which the exhausted pony behind the counter decided it was best to ignore.
After a minute of nothing but blackness swallowing her, Cozy fell through another black hole that brought her into an orange restroom stall, where a fuming Grogar was ready to catch her. They were hidden away between the dull grey walls and the orange stall doors. "What is the matter with you? Why haven’t you ordered yet?" He hissed.
Cozy’s eyes almost visibly rolled back into her skull as she slid out from his arms. "It turns out, because war and poverty and disease just wasn’t enough, they’ve taken the McDLT off of the menu!" She hung her head low in shame. "Golly, I guess this was all a big waste of time. We should just go back to the lair."
I couldn’t agree more, Grogar sniffed.
Suddenly, a hoof knocked ever so gently against the stall door. Grogar began to sweat and his eyes narrowed. That knock was TOO gentle.
"Um, excuse me?" The last voice in the world he wanted to hear at that moment squeaked out. "I just came into the ladies room to use the toilet while I wait for my friend Discord to come back? Have you seen him around?"
This was it. Grogar glanced around for a possible exit, but with Cozy in his clutches, he knew it was too late. The jig was up. "Wait, Discord?" Cozy shrieked. "Why would somepony want to see him of all creatures?"
A second later, the door was flung open, and Discord just barely managed to lose the disguise before Fluttershy took in the wild scene before her. "COZY GLOW!" She cried. "DISCORD?!" Her eyes flew from the diabolical small filly glaring back at her, and the embarrassed elderly draconnequs holding her in his arms. "What is going on here?"
"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Cozy leapt off the toilet and hysterically trotted towards her, her mane puffy mane frazzled and a slight quiver in her step. She glanced back at Discord. "So that was you the whole time? I knew that it couldn’t have been the real Grogar all along!" She pointed a hoof accusingly at Fluttershy. "Was this your master plan all along? Team up with the Lord Of Chaos to prank me at McDonald’s with some bogus menu?" She shook her hoof in the air. "Why, I oughta-"
WHAM! A metal pipe suddenly struck the filly in the back of her head, and she was out like a light. Fluttershy gaped at Discord, who shoved it back in his ear and sat down on the toilet. "See? I TOLD you I had to use the bathroom!"
"And you’re absolutely SURE that she’ll stay unconscious until she’s back at the cave?" Fluttershy cowered behind her friend as he stood with him on the grassy hill, inspecting the pony sound asleep in front of them. The day was finally over, and the evening sun was just starting to set over the horizon.
"Celestia help us if she doesn’t." Discord murmured as he sat down on the grass next to her. "I’m truly sorry, Fluttershy. I hadn’t thought when I assembled all those villains that they actually had such vibrant LIVES they needed to live! Please, I’m just doing this as a final test for Twilight and the other girls, including you. This is a massive secret that I’m trying my best to keep, and-"
Fluttershy pressed a hoot to his mouth. "Discord, it’s okay. You’ve already explained it plenty of times. If you really think that this will help boost Twilight's confidence when she takes over, then well..." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Then I guess I can understand it. You can bring her back to the cave and act like nothing happened, and I’ll keep quiet about it." "She did the "Cross my heart and hope to fly" sign.
"But PLEASE, Fluttershy, you must understand that I’m doing this for the good of our dear friend. So if something goes wrong , even if I get caught, you can’t let anypony know that you knew about my secret the whole time!" Discord begged.
Fluttershy offered the draconnequs a meek but caring smile as the gears in her head started turning. "Got it. I’ll pretend to be all innocent, like "Oh, Discord, how could you do this to Twilight? And US?' Um, I mean, if you think that that’s okay?"
He grinned back at her, running his talons through the pony’s pink mane. "And nopony will be the wiser." He reached behind his back and retrieved a large brown McDonald’s bag from underneath his wing. "Now, would you care to enjoy a McDLT with me?"
Fluttershy giggled, taking a burger and bumping it with his in a toast. "Whatever you say, Grogar."
