The Road to Healing

Chapter 5: Reborn in Flames

It had taken Duskfall a full week, but she finally had everything she needed for the thermite funeral. Enough red iron oxide and aluminum flake to bury her in and 40-mesh screen to sift the two together. Most of it was stolen, some of it was bought, but hopefully it would do the trick. Duskfall had dug a grave that was six feet deep, put all the fresh made thermite in the grave, set up a camera to record the whole thing, and now it was time for some final words for the dearly departed.

“Twilight, Tom, I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t save you. I’m not smart enough. I’m not powerful enough. All I’m good for is giving others carnal pleasures. As long as you haunt this body, I can’t even do that! Please, as I commit this body to the flames, let me be free! If I can’t be the perfect toy for others to use and break as they please, then I am less than nothing! I’m sorry I can’t join you in death or oblivion. Just let me do a little good in the world…” With those words, Duskfall let herself fall into the grave.

“Anything you’d like to say before I ignite, Pinkie?” Duskfall called up. Of course Pinkie had words. Duskfall listened intently as Pinkie rambled on. Under other circumstances, Duskfall might have become impatient, but if there was ever a time for long tangents and topics that were only barely related to the point, it was now. For all Pinkie could be a pest sometimes, she really was wonderful. Duskfall needed to do something nice for her later. Roughly fifteen minutes later, by Duskfall’s reckoning, Pinkie’s speech finally came to a close.

“Thank you, Pinkie. That was very sweet,” Duskfall said with tears in her eyes. With a final breath, Duskfall buried herself in the thermite and ignited it all.

In the three and a half months Duskfall had been on this world, she had died in many ways. Each one had its own flavor, each one enjoyable in their own way. However, Duskfall had found some measure of sexual pleasure in each and every one of them. Somehow, as she burned in the thermite, this death was different.

The burning fires felt like a warm blanket. It felt comforting. A strange sense of serenity and calm enveloped Duskfall. As her flesh burned, all she felt was peace. Duskfall didn’t question it, she just let it happen. Soon, all that was left of her was ash.

The Journal of Duskfall Sparkle Year 1 Month 3 day 24

Of all the places to have a pseudo-spiritual experience, there are stranger than a funeral. Although it took me a few hours to realize that fact, once I had come down off the Zen high. Once I had come back to my right mind, I tried transforming myself. It was as easy as breathing.

I’m not ashamed to admit I cried for quite some time after I changed. It meant I was free, but grief doesn’t go away just because a funeral happens. When I return to Equuis, there’s one last thing I need to try, but until then I will perform my duty to the best of my ability. I will let myself be killed and fucked over and over again until Celestia or The Doctor decides I can return to Equuis. Whatever random standards those two expect me to meet.

I’m so glad I have Pinkie with me. It’s not so much what she says, but more her general presence that’s important to me. She is my rock. I enjoy what I do, make no mistake, but having someone who will always greet me with a smile, even if she isn’t the real Pinkie, does make me feel better.

I think for today, I’m just going to relax and sleep. I want to savor this peace for as long as it lasts. Tomorrow, the new and improved Duskfall will take the stage and nothing will be the same! My next project will be creating body doubles of one kind or another. Even if they’re simply hard light holograms, I’ll be satisfied. After all, I want to be able to help as many people as possible. There’s only one of me and so many people who need my services.

End of Journal Entry

Author's Note

Duskfall Sparkle

Mental Corruption: 81.2%

Afflictions:
Addiction to Sex
Addiction to Death
Schizophrenia

Perks:
Insanity: [147%]
Darkness: [54%]
Magic: [104%]
Immortality

This turned into more of a watershed moment for Duskfall than I was expecting. She's taken a big first step towards Healing, instead of just wallowing in her Mental Corruption and Insanity.

I was tempted to represent this in an even more massive upswing in her Darkness, but upon reflection decided a 24% jump was sufficient. After all, her Darkness is playing a huge role in her Healing. Still, it's a little bit too early for her Darkness to make a big dent or for Duskfall to realize what it is, so it's still only just broken 50%.