To Have and To Hold

by Freglz

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 7542

It's a hard thing, trying to live your life while you're always in the spotlight. More so when you've found your one true love.

It's a hard thing, trying to live your life while you're always in the spotlight.

More so when you've found your one true love.

Written for the Change of Pace Contest.
A very late entry into the AppleDash Warm and Fuzzy Feelings Event.
Edited by Shakespearicles.
Original art by Reysi.

Published 2020-11-01 09:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-11-01 09:40:00 UTC

A Morning Like Any Other

Sunlight filtered in through the kitchen windows. You have to be an early riser when you’re working on a farm, especially when you’re well on your way to becoming the de facto matriarch of the homestead, but today I was up particularly early. It had only been a couple of weeks since Sugar Bell had moved in, and I’d resolved myself to making her feel welcome. What better way to do that than to surprise the whole family with freshly made apple flapjacks?

I wrapped a foreleg around my stomach as it grumbled at the warm scent of oats baking in the oven. I knew the wait would be worth it, but my insides were having a hard time believing that. Honestly, I couldn’t blame them; my eyes stung from a lack of beauty sleep.

Somepony kicked the front door open and I jumped in my seat at the dinner table, whipping around to see Rainbow trotting into the house with a pleasant grin. “Morning, AJ.”

My ears stiffened. Having her swing by unannounced every so often weren’t nothing new – on the contrary, I’d grown to love her surprise visits – but if I knew Dash, which I did, then ‘morning’ and ‘awake’ weren’t words you’d associate with her. Still, she was here, and I couldn’t help but smile in kind. “Mornin’, sugarcube. Surprised to see you up this early.”

“Whaaat?” She rounded the table with a soft chuckle – the sort that said she had something good to share with me. “You think I’d prefer to sleep in when I can see you at your finest?”

“My finest,” I echoed, rolling my tired eyes. “Right. Because I’m exactly what you’d wanna wake up to at the crack of dawn.”

As she reached my side, she hopped into the free space beside me and shimmied close, draping a wing over my withers and nuzzling her head beneath my chin. “You are, though. Always. I thought you knew that already.”

Stars, she can be a real sap when she wants. She never had a tough outer shell, just the illusion of one. But although I imagined myself closing my eyes and sinking into the feeling of her warmth against mine, her silken mane and plumage against my coat, I sighed and gently pushed her back. “What's goin’ on, Dash? Got some news for me?”

“Heh.” She snatched a quick peck on the cheek before she met my gaze again, smirking. “If you checked the mail, you should know. Twilight’s inviting you, me and the other girls to a wedding.”

Messages from Twilight had grown rare since she’d taken Celestia and Luna’s place, which was only natural. Still, this was an odd way to start things off again. “Who’s the lucky couple?”

“Lyra and Bonbon. They’re renewing their vows.”

I turned to face Rainbow properly, bemused. “Gosh, it’s only been a year since they got hitched. How many times are they gonna do it?”

“Beats me, but I’m sure going.”

I blinked, stunned, then angled my head and arched an eyebrow. “To a weddin’?”

“Only if you are.”

Getting excited over something so schmaltzy was the last thing I’d have expected from her. But if she wanted to go, I wasn’t going to stand in her way, so I shook myself out of my stupor and shrugged. “Sure. Why not? Free food, right?”

“Thanks,” she hummed, caressing her wing up and down my back, then turned her attention towards the oven. “Speaking of which—”

“Yes, Dash, I’ve got an extra flapjack for you in there.”

“That’s my girl.”

Mountains and Molehills

Little did I know that Rainbow’s surprise announcement would be the tip of a big, troublesome iceberg. At that point, most weddings in my experience hadn’t been all that austentatious, nor had I ever seen the appeal in making a massive show of it. Love ain’t something you have to prove to anypony but yourself and your betrothed – that’s how I see it.

Evidently, Lyra and Bonbon had other ideas.

“Does it really need to be this tight, Rares?” I questioned as I watched myself in the mirror. Rarity’s magic levitated fabric, sewing needles and thread, measuring tape and a steaming cup of tea around me and the dress I wore, using whichever instrument she saw fit. “The stitchin’ feels weird along the back.”

“It needs to be, darling, or else it won’t conform to the dress code,” she answered matter-of-factly, too preoccupied with her work to think about sounding diplomatic. “I’m sorry, but the instructions were very particular. I’d typically prefer to have a nice compromise between form and function myself, but if the newlyweds want a formal ceremony, then I’m never one to disappoint.”

I cocked an eyebrow and turned my head to give her a sideways look. “They’re already married. How can they be newlyweds if they’re already—”

She sighed and rolled her eyes, then strolled around the dias to stand facing me. Although I’d never dare say it aloud, those red-framed glasses of hers always made her seem ten years older. Didn’t help that she had that quaint smile – the kind where you can never really tell if she’s being sincere or condescending. “It’s not about what you call it, dear, it’s about the concept. And it’s a rather romantic notion if you ask me. This is their opportunity to outdo themselves – to improve upon their special night. To spark their love anew.”

“To put the rest of us through a whole lot of hassle, more like.”

“C’mon, AJ,” Rainbow said before Rarity could open her mouth. She looked over her shoulder from the small desk in the corner of Carousel Boutique, a fountain pen in her right wing – generously loaned by the resident fashion expert – while she steadied a piece of paper with her left forehoof. “It can’t be that bad. At least it beats working on the farm all day, right?”

I snorted, smirking. “Like you’d know anythin’ about that, freebooter.”

“Hey, you take that back.” She unfurled her other wing and jabbed its tip directly at me, smirking in kind. “I’m a crucial member of the team, because I boost morale around the house. Haven’t you ever seen how happy your sister is nowadays whenever I swing by? She’s turning into Scootaloo two-point-oh.”

“Scoutin’ out a newer model to replace her with, huh?”

“You wish, Jackie.”

Rarity glanced back and forth between us. At first her expression was neutral, but then a proud grin started shining through like a polished gem in direct sunlight. “You two really do make a wonderful pair,” she said whimsically, then focussed on me again and sipped her tea as her measuring tape wrapped around my barrel. “It honestly boggles the mind how you didn’t fall for each other sooner.”

“Yes, Rarity,” I groaned, “we know, we’re dense. No need to kick up a fuss about it.”

“I dunno, AJ, she raises a good point.” Rainbow snickered to herself as she returned to her scribbles. “How did you last so long against my wily, feminine charms?”

“Feminine charms? There’s hardly anythin’ feminine about you. Heck, my brother can be more girly than you, and he’s damn near straight as an arrow.”

Rarity’s hoof shot up to cover her mouth as she gasped, and excited glint in her eye as she swung back around to witness Rainbow’s reaction.

She hadn’t seemed to have been paying much attention, but that was before she hung her head and let out a long, quiet breath, running a forehoof through her mane. And after tapping the tabletop a couple of times, she swivelled in her seat to face me with an infatuated smile. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

Yes, she has, plenty of times – so many that I’ve lost count, in fact – but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing it from her. There’s just… something in those deep, swirling, beautiful pools of magenta that keeps me hanging on every syllable. It fills me with warmth, all the way from the tips of my ears to the end of my tail, and makes me feel like I could float with her to the clouds and beyond.

“Aww.” Rarity lowered her hoof to her chest, sharing an affectionate look with us. “Stop it, both of you. You’re making me green with envy.”

Rainbow laughed and shrugged, shaking her head. “What’s there to envy? You could have any mare or stallion you ever wanted just by fluttering your lashes, and you’re jealous of us?”

“No, not you.” Rarity waved a dismissive, lighthearted hoof as she began circling the dias once more, now measuring each limb in turn. “It’s the missed opportunity I’m envious of. Here I am designing brand new outfits for all of us – myself, Pinkie and Fluttershy included – when I could be redefining the very idea of a bridal gown.”

The smile I didn’t realise I was wearing shrank as a nerve plucked at my core. “What’s that got to do with us?”

“Why, everything!” she blithely exclaimed, only to yank herself to a halt and snap her gaze toward me with a look of sudden realisation. “That is, I mean to say, not that I mean to imply anything, of course. You’re perfectly welcome to progress at your own pace. Although it has been… how long, exactly?”

“Over a year,” Rainbow answered. Her enthusiasm waned somewhat when her eyes met mine. “Officially. Before then… who knows? We sure don’t. The lines get kinda blurry when you try figuring out when the friendship ended and… this began.”

“Not that the friendship side of things ever really ended, mind,” I quickly added, even though I’d rather have remained quiet, because I knew the point Rarity was going to make. “We’re the same as we’ve always been, just with… some other stuff tacked on.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow agreed, nodding along with me, then switched focus again to Rarity with splayed ears and a coy, apologetic smirk. “And, uh… Rares? Could we please not get ahead of ourselves? We’ll be ready when we’re ready. No need to rush.”

“Oh, I understand perfectly well, dear.” She whisked over a pin and stuck it through the fabric between my withers – so close and so sudden that my breath caught and an icy chill ran down my spine. “It’s just that, well… if you’re both so sure of this bond you share, and from an outside perspective I can most assuredly say that you complement each other quite nicely… why not?”

I arched an eyebrow and deadpanned, unimpressed. “Because maybe we don’t need to?”

“Well, of course you don’t need to, but it would be sweet, wouldn’t it?”

Since it was obvious she had a wad of cotton stuck in both ears, I looked to Rainbow to gauge her response – see if she was getting as off-put as me. Perhaps I was after some kind of validation, assurance that said it was okay to feel agitated, to disagree with seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses. Ponies are allowed to believe whatever they want, but they don’t get to say theirs is the hoop everypony else should jump through.

Dash, however, chuckled awkwardly, shuffling her wings and rubbing her foreleg as she shied away from both myself and Rarity. “I’m not sure I wanna think about it just yet.”

“Not to mention the legal benefits,” Rarity continued, talking more to herself than either of us. “And the thought of getting to call somepony else your own. Stars, if I found my Prince Charming…”

“You did,” I dispassionately stated, then snorted amusedly. “Or did Blueblood leave such a bad impression that you’ve forgotten all about him?”

“That didn’t count,” she huffed, swivelling back around with a cautionary frown – the sort that said she saw the humour, she just didn’t appreciate it. “Heavens above, Applejack, how many times are you going to bring that up?”

“As many times as it takes ’til it stops being funny.”

She kept pouting at me for a good few seconds after that, then sighed and shook her head. “Impossible. Simply impossible. Here I am spending valuable time and effort on making you the absolutely best possible version of yourself, and you deign to drag me through the muck of one of the most humiliating nights of my life. For shame, Applejack. For shame.”

“It’s a miracle we’re friends, ain’t it?”

“Quite.” The pins and thread keeping the gown together unwound, and the fabric slid from my body to the dias. “Now, that’s all I need from you. Step down, let Rainbow have her turn. She’s always had the more interesting figure out of the pair of you anyway.”

Before I could open my mouth and mutter a witty quip that would’ve one-upped the parting shot, Dash spun about and hopped out of her chair with a spring in her step, beaming a wide, enthusiastic grin. “Finally. Took you long enough. I was starting to think we wouldn’t get out of here in time for lunch.”

“O ye of little faith, when have I ever let you down?”

I blinked, thoughts and expression blank as my focus hopped from one to the other and back again. Getting excited for a wedding was one thing, because as she explained before, there’d be plenty of free food on offer, not to mention a responsible amount of alcohol should the event itself prove… well, uneventful. But if there had to be anything the Rainbow I knew would never have practically jumped for joy over, it was fashion. And as much as it stunned me, it also confounded me. And most surprisingly of all…

“Come now, Applejack,” Rarity beckoned, waving me down from the circular platform, “you can’t have enjoyed staring at your own reflection that much. Or has Rainbow Dash here rubbed off on you more than you’d like to admit?”

“Oh, buzz off, Rares,” Rainbow dismissed, chuckling as she bumped her shoulder with a wing. “You know I’m not like that anymore.”

“Well, for as long as Applejack hangs Blueblood over my head, I don’t see why I can’t hang your ego over yours. So, either you convince your girlfriend to lay off the criticism, or I recount every moment I can remember where your pride got on everypony’s nerves – the Mare Do Well incident included.”

She groaned, ears flattening, then rolled her eyes and looked up at me. “C’mon, AJ. My turn.”

I blinked once more, then absently nodded and ambled down the steps to the floor of the boutique proper. I didn’t know what to say, why exactly it felt as if my chest had tightened and both she and Rarity might be silently judging me, and I didn’t know how to express it either. Instead, I wandered past them for the same table had been sitting at and took her place on the cushioned stool.

While they busied themselves with the finer points of dressmaking, I occupied myself by trying to understand why on Earth I’d feel irritated by Rainbow behaving like this. Just as ponies are allowed to believe different things, they’re also allowed to expand their interests. For example, I never cared much for the complexities of flight, or history beyond the stories Granny Smith would tell me, Big Mac and Apple Bloom when we were young.

So, what gave me the right to get agitated over this? Sure, it was unexpected, but that was hardly a good enough reason. Maybe she and I just needed to have a talk about it later, but at the same time that would’ve been so petty of me, sitting her down for a discussion on what she could and couldn’t take an interest in.

It’s a pain, when you know how you feel about something yet fail to understand what motivates those feelings. You want things to make sense, because then you know that you’re making rational, informed decisions… but then you realise that you’re still the same emotional pony you ever were and always will be.

I sighed and peered over my shoulder to the tabletop, then arched an eyebrow and scanned the nearby floorspace. The pen was there, the paper wasn’t. “Uh, Rainbow? Where’d that thing you were working on go?”

“Right here,” she announced, flicking open a wing to reveal the slip firmly secured between two primaries. “Don't worry, it’s not going anywhere.”

Odd that she’d rather keep it on her than out for me to find. “What is it, anyway?”

“Oh.” She held it in front of her and narrowed her eyes. “It’s, uh… nothing, really. Just a few ideas for what I wanna say at the wedding, or vow renewal thingy, or whatever.”

My ears perked up. “You’re one of the speakers?”

“Something like that. It was Twilight’s idea, so blame her if it backfires.”

I hesitated, pondering on this new information for a short while, then slowly nodded. I didn’t see why I couldn’t have been told of this sooner, because we’ve always made a point of being honest and true to each other, but at least I didn’t learn about it on the night of the ceremony. Not that it really would’ve mattered in the end.

“Stars,” I murmured to myself, shaking my head, “I sure hope this is worth it.”

Fleeting Joy

The whole of Ponyville turned up for Lyra and Bonbon’s initial wedding. It weren’t no secret how close those two were, even years before they made their announcement in the local newspaper. Word around town had it that some ponies were placing bets on when they’d finally tie the knot. Now, I’m not a gambling mare, and I don’t normally expect things to happen between two individuals lest I be a hypocrite, but if the rumours were true, I’d have joined in for the pure novelty.

But this renewal was on an entirely different level.

For starters, it was being held in Canterlot – already a solid twenty-four hours’ travel by train, which required an horrendously early start to the day in order for us to catch it – and that was to say nothing of the passengers. Many of them, strangers travelling from the southern outskirts of the kingdom to the capital, came up to us for an autograph, or to simply thank us for all the hard work we’ve done protecting them. That was fine once upon a time, but now the praise was beginning to feel stale; the same couple of lines recycled over and over. To me at least.

The passengers who didn’t were sometimes loud and obnoxious, especially the foals who hadn’t yet grown out of their diapers. The one consoling thought I had is that none of them were as bad as Apple Bloom, and I’ve suffered through enough temper tantrums to last me a lifetime thanks to her. Not that I was much better, so Granny has told me.

The seats we had to sleep in didn’t help, so stiff and rigid, and with the sound of the engine chugging along up front and the clickity-clack of the railroad beneath us, I barely got any shuteye at all. Worse still were the beds in the hotel that had been booked for us, which were far too soft and malleable, including the featherdown blankets and fluffy pillows. It was like the universe couldn’t make up its mind which end of the spectrum it preferred.

Rainbow’s presence was the only genuine comfort I had, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie notwithstanding. She could wrap her wings around me, and everything would feel just a little bit better, like all the troubles in the world didn’t matter so much, so long as we had each other. It was certainly reassuring to wake up with her by my side, knowing that however far we were from home, she would always be there.

But that was in the morning. This was tonight. And as the five of us took our prearranged seats around a circular table in the main hall of Twilight’s new palace, I was both struck and unnerved by how clean and pristine everything was. The tablecloth was white, as were the roses, the vase that held them, the napkins, the empty plates awaiting our food, the chairs and tables themselves, the drapes hanging between and wrapping around the pillars… It would’ve been easier to name everything that wasn’t white. Even the guests looked out of place.

Speaking of which, it appeared that barely anypony else from Ponyville had been invited, or at least it seemed that way compared to how many unfamiliar faces there were – all Canterlot locals. You could tell by how they styled their manes, how easily they wore their suits and dresses, their accents and mannerisms, even how they sipped their wine.

Lyra and Bonbon wanted a do-over. That much I understood. But did they really think that this was better than what Ponyville offered? It was far more… heartfelt there. Here, the sole reason anypony from Canterlot attended was so they could brag about it to their friends, or try to get cosy with Twilight and her inner circle. And yet the happy couple appeared perfectly content, holding each other’s hooves while they sat in the centre of a long table on a raised platform, along with their closest friends from Canterlot and Ponyville, and Twilight towards the end on Lyra’s side.

Meanwhile, we’d been given the prestigious honour of not having anything to do with the proceedings. We watched as the pair read their vows aloud on the balcony, shared a kiss to a round of applause, then stared without comment as the whole table ran through their prepared speeches. Nothing about this was really much different from the ceremony in Ponyville, bar a fresh coat of paint.

I guess they just hadn’t been satisfied with what their hometown could provide.

To keep myself from frowning disapprovingly, I began to curl and flex my rear hooves and to chew on the inside of my cheek. Wearing a tolerant mask for the past few days had taken its toll on my patience, and since neither I nor Rainbow nor any of us served any purpose beyond being yet more faces in the crowd, I had to wonder what the point of inviting us was. From what I gathered, they were more Twilight’s friends than ours anyway, and she’d hardly had any time to chat with us all evening.

I could tell Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie didn’t feel the same, but I was starting to feel like I’d been snubbed – turned into one of many third wheels. Not intentionally, but still.

And according to the programme, dinner wasn’t due to be served until after the sentimental stuff had wrapped up. At this rate, that wouldn’t be for another half hour.

“Why’re we here?”

The other four glanced at me while Twinkle-whosit concluded her sermon, but only Fluttershy and Rainbow lingered as the audience clapped and hollered. “Whaddya mean?” the latter asked, angling her head. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Yeah, to support our friend,” I said flatly, nodding as I rolled my eyes. “I get that. She invited us, so we’re bein’ polite. Thing is… does Twilight really need our support here? Half the country already knows about these two by now, and that they have Twilight’s personal seal of approval, and ours by extension. It ain’t like havin’ us around proves anythin’ new.”

“Maybe Twilight just wanted to see us again,” Fluttershy supposed. “It has been a long time since we spoke face-to-face. Running a kingdom is a lot of work.”

“Sure, and on the one night it could be a convenience for her, she’s barely spoken a word to us beyond a welcome and a hug.”

Rarity sighed and returned to me as she finished clapping. “Well, in case you haven’t noticed, dear, she is a little predisposed. We can’t expect her to be as available as she used to be. Her title may be the same but her duties have changed significantly.”

“I ain’t disputin’ that.” I shrugged and shook my head, neither of which felt extremely comfortable while I had the dress on. “It’s just that… all we are right now is decoration. We sit here and we smile and wave, when we could be enjoyin’ ourselves back home instead of listenin’ to these girls talk about how much they mean to each other. And if Twilight doesn’t even have the time to give us the time of day, then… well, why shouldn’t we have declined?”

Everypony’s eyes widened.

“Look, I’m just spoutin’ what’s on my mind. This ain’t my idea of a night well-spent. And if the only practical reason Twilight wants us here is so it doesn’t look like the six of us are driftin’ apart, she should just come on out and say it.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Rainbow exclaimed, but quietly enough that the other tables couldn’t hear. “Let’s pump the breaks for just a sec, AJ. Don’t you think you might be… well… overthinking this? We’re a long way off from losing touch with one another.”

“Sure, we know that,” I dispassionately agreed, then gestured toward the rest of the hall and everypony in it, “but they don’t. And like it or not, what they think matters. We’re public figures, all of us, so we have to pay attention, or else ponies won’t think of us as role models anymore, or want to do business with us – that goes for you and me especially, Rares – or… whatever. Point is, we can’t go around ignorin’ folks.”

“I, uh…” Fluttershy mumbled, lowering her eyes to the table and flattening her ears. “I mean… well, not to sound rude, Applejack, but I don’t think any of us were thinking that.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow warily murmured, reaching out and laying her closest hoof over mine. Her touch was delicate, as if I’d suddenly grown frail. “What’s gotten into you, Jackie?”

Somehow, I got the sense that she was being condescending, but I stomped the thought out before it could take root. She’d never talk like that to me, not ever. “Nothin’,” I grumbled, then deflated and hung my head into my free, waiting hoof. “I’m just… annoyed. At a lot of things. But mostly, I’m just gettin’ kinda fed up with all these expectations.”

“Like what?”

“This. The vow renewal.” I motioned vaguely to the hall again before sitting back up and cheerlessly meeting everypony else’s gaze. “Why shouldn’t have I accepted the invite? What good reason do I have to not watch two ponies show each other and the whole world how much they mean to one another? Oh, because it’s a slight inconvenience for me? Because it’s only a day’s travel by train? Because the clothes I have to wear aren’t comfy? Because I’d rather stay in bed and read a mystery novel with my girlfriend snuggled up beside me? Don’t you see how… petty and selfish that sounds?”

Silence descended upon the table, and aside from whatever was happening on-stage, it was absolute. Rainbow, Rarity and Fluttershy stared at me with varying degrees of shock and sympathy. Pinkie, as always, was the odd one out.

“Don’t be silly, silly,” she said with a bubbly giggle and a carefree wave. “You’re not selfish. How is wanting to spend quality time with your special somepony selfish? That’s sweet!”

Despite her reassurance, my nerves weren’t convinced. “Yeah, well, it doesn’t feel that way,” I muttered, removing my hoof from Rainbow’s and scooting the chair back so I could slip out of it. “Now, if you don’t mind, girls, I think I should go cool off by myself for a while.”

Quick as a whip, Rainbow immediately followed suit. “I’ll come with.”

“No.” I shut my eyes and grimaced at how harsh my tone was; it felt like I’d just kicked myself in the gut. “I mean… sorry, Dash, but no.” I turned around and started walking backwards, and the instant I saw the angle of her ears, her upturned brows, her disheartened expression, I knew that I was somehow making a terrible mistake. “I really think I need to be alone for—”

That’s when I heard screaming. Not the terrified kind, but excited, and laughter too. I spun back around just in time to see something shooting straight for me. With scarcely a single second to react, it smacked me in the face, and the hoof I’d been lifting to protect myself wound up catching it. What I’d failed to notice, however, was the tidal wave of mares diving after whatever it was, and as they crashed into me, I was sent sprawling onto the floor, half-buried beneath a writhing mass of ponies.

Wrestling myself free from them wasn’t too difficult, but when the world stopped spinning and the ground steadied itself, my heart sank.

I’d caught the bouquet.

“It looks like we have a winner, ladies and gents!” a voice I recognised as Twilight’s announced from seemingly nowhere and everywhere at once. “Congratulations to Applejack!”

Applause, cheers and whistles erupted from all around me, so intense that it threatened to flip the world on its head all over again. “What?” I mutely croaked, looking this way and that and only ever seeing happy, smiling faces. “No, I… you don’t understand, I—”

Rarity shot up from her place at the table and raised a hoof defiantly. “NOPONY MOVE!”

As quickly as it started, the praise died down to a whimper.

Taking advantage of the awe she had struck, Rarity marched out to meet me. At first, I thought she was jumping to my defence, but then I realised what she was focussed on. “Oh dear, it’s already staining,” she hummed to herself, enveloping the hem of my dress in her magic and holding it up to reveal a large red stain in the fabric – spilled wine. “I’m sorry, Applejack, but I simply cannot allow this dress to be ruined on its debut. Would you mind if I escort you to the bathrooms? I’m sure you’d appreciate the privacy, and I can loan you a different one for the time being.”

I scowled, feeling as if salt had been rubbed into an open wound. She knew better. Surely everypony did. They just kept choosing to be ignorant. “No need,” I grumbled as I snatched the skirt from her grasp and stomped off to the nearest bathroom on my own. “I think I’m done here.”

The Best Worst Night Ever

Canterlot could be deceptively beautiful from the railing of the palace gardens, so high above it all. You get to see the city not for the ponies that make it up, but as a vibrant tapestry of lights and tiled roofs. The garden itself paled in comparison to a nighttime view like this. The architects and urban planners certainly knew what they were doing when they designed this place.

It’s just a shame that all things in life couldn’t go as smoothly.

I lowered my gaze to the bouquet in my hoof, dangling over the edge of the balustrade. If I’d just let it go, it would’ve fallen, and I’d have never have had to see it again, washed away into a gutter on a street outside the palace grounds, forgotten on a rooftop, or picked up by some passerby who needed it more than I ever did. One pony’s trash is another’s treasure, after all.

But for whatever reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Somehow, the very thought of letting go felt cruel. The bouquet never meant to hurt my feelings, it simply predicted that I’d have a happy life ahead of me. How could something so benign be wicked?

But that was precisely the problem. It was wicked because it was benign; the most hurtful relationships are the ones you find it hard to say no to. At least Rainbow and I respect each other enough to know when to give each other some space. Society at large ain’t the same.

I sighed and flopped onto my haunches, chin resting on the cold stone railing. Without the dress on, I felt far more free, but now I was beginning to miss my hat left back at the hotel. Nothing was really keeping me from fetching it, but I couldn’t just leave. Sure, I’d left the main hall, but at least I’d be around if anypony needed me.

“Quiet out here, huh?”

Languidly peering over my shoulder, I saw Rainbow emerging from the hedges. She still had her gown on – no reason to take it off, if she still planned on being a part of the ceremony. “More or less.”

“Wanna talk about what happened?”

“What’s there to talk about? I explained myself well enough, didn’t I?”

She hesitated, then wandered toward me and sat down by my side, folding her forehooves on the railing too. “I suppose you did.”

“Right.”

“But the thing is, Jackie… well, how long have you been feeling like this?” Rainbow turned to me and swathed her wing around me, sheltering me from the cool night air. She’d always been better at that than any dumb blanket anyway. Time permitting, I can easily stay nuzzled in her embrace for hours. “Do you really think everypony is out to get us?”

“No.” I shook my head, ears pinning themselves rearward as I settled my chin on the balustrade again. “But they ain’t bein’ considerate neither. And I’m sick and tired of havin’ to compromise with everypony, especially when what they’re concerned about ain’t none of their business.”

“Us, you mean? Like, you and me?”

“Yeah.” I sighed once more, heavier this time, and brought the bouquet up to view the purple and blue flowers – the only splash of colour from that starsforsaken celebration. “Whatever happens between us, it should be because we want it to happen, not because anypony else expects us to.”

She shuffled closer and pressed her wing tightly against me, her body touching mine. “I don’t think they meant to pressure you.”

“That ain’t how it feels.”

Another silence fell over us, with only a gentle breeze, the rustle of leaves and the distant echo of an orchestra of strings from the main hall whispering through the garden. Sounded like a waltz. Me and my four left hooves wouldn’t have done too well at that. At least Twilight could freestyle when the mood struck her. As for me, the most I can do is a hoedown. Anything that requires an imbalanced routine where somepony gets to be the leader, I’m like a newborn stumbling about on shaky legs.

Rainbow was much better at that kind of thing. She had to be, what with her job as a Wonderbolt and all, taking her around the world and back, meeting foreign peoples and their kings, queens and various other heads of state, dancing in a formal setting. She’d kicked up plenty of fuss about it, practically threw a tantrum one night after returning from the academy, but she had talent where I had none.

She turned her head and buried her snout into my mane, drawing in a deep breath, then planted a long, tender kiss on my temple.

As much as I wanted to, for as much warmth as she filled me with, and as many delightful shivers that trickled down my spine like fresh snowmelt, I couldn’t bring myself to smile. “Why did you want to come here?”

“Hmm?”

“The mornin’ you arrived to give me the news.” I angled my head towards Rainbow and soberly peered up at her from the corner of my eye. “You’re not the sort who comes bargin’ in at such an early hour to say that there’s a weddin’ goin’ on. Firstly, because it’s a weddin’, or a pseudo-weddin’, and secondly, because the next thing you’re known for after your ego is your ability to nap and sleep through almost anythin’.”

Even through the gloom of night, she was beautiful. Rarity had worked wonders when she’d styled her multicoloured hair, and accentuated her features with golden earrings that glistened in the moonlight. Nevertheless, there was no mistaking the surprise on her face as she closed her mouth and cleared her throat. “I just… wanted to spend time with you.”

“We do that every day, though. Right now, we could be doin’ what I said we could’ve been doin’, if only we hadn’t gotten ourselves dragged into this mess.” I shrugged and lethargically gestured in the direction of Ponyville, so far to the south that it couldn’t be seen beyond the mountains and rolling hills. “What makes a vow renewal so special? What could we possibly do here that we can’t do any other day back home?”

She appeared lost for words, stunned as if she hadn’t considered planning this far ahead. That was quite typical of her, honestly, even today. She’s gotten better, but sometimes you get to see the rigid, inflexible mare she used to be, so dead-set on getting things done that obvious hiccups don’t become apparent until it’s already too late. But for as much trouble as that kind of outlook has put us in, it’s still endearing, because it reminds me of me – how similar we can be.

On that night, all I could do was smile empathetically and give her a quick peck on the tip of her nose. “Look, I appreciate the gesture, Dash, I really do. And you know I love you. So, so much. But we gotta face the facts. Some stuff just ain’t for us.”

Rainbow met my gaze with a forlorn sense of hope. “I thought it would’ve been a welcome change of pace.”

“O’course you did, you lovable goof.” I snacthed another kiss from her, this one on her cheek, then slipped the back of my hoof up to her chest. “And like I said, your heart’s in the right place. It’s just that I’m not cut out for it. Not their interpretation, anyway.” Then I bought the bouquet over to our side of the ledge, chuckling. “And besides, what’s with all this fascination over a bunch of silly flowers? It’s not like it actually means anythin’, or could even predict the future.”

Evidently, she couldn’t see the humour in it, or at least wouldn’t acknowledge it. That was fine, I figured, so long as she knew I was alright.

But then as the good humour eventually faded, like a sweet perfume dissipating in the open air, I exhaustedly sighed once more and leaned into her, staring off towards the horizon. “Sometimes I wonder if we could disappear and get away with it,” I mused aloud, half-joking, half-serious. “Leave. Start again. Whatever. But no matter what’s possible, one thing’s for certain: I’m not lettin’ anypony tell me how to live my life.”

Her wing twitched, briefly pulling away from me as if I’d given her an electric shock.

I can’t lie to save my skin, and she ain’t the best at telling them herself, but if there’s one thing I am good at when it comes to secrets, it’s knowing when somepony is keeping one. It certainly helps that her two most expressive appendages have a mind of their own.

“Somethin’ wrong, Dash?” I asked, taking my weight off her shoulder and looking at her directly.

She refused to meet my gaze at first, frowning anxiously down at herself, then pinned her ears back yet again and shared her shy, apprehensive expression with me. “Well, you said you don’t want anypony telling you how to live your life, right?”

My own brows furrowed, uncertain where this might be going. “Yeah?”

Rainbow lingered on me for a few seconds more, hesitant, then let her breath go and retracted her wing from around my withers, folding it at her side. She swung her head left and extracted something hidden within the folds of her dress. And when she returned to me, her face had grown sullen.

Resting on the flat of her extended hoof was a golden chain and a wooden ring.

My eyes widened, and I swear that my heart skipped a beat. “Oh.”

“Yeah…”

I blinked once, then twice, then limply shook my head as if to wake myself from dozing off. I’d missed plenty of sleep, sure, but daydreams couldn’t be that vivid, could they? But still, the ring remained, and a lump was building in my throat. I coughed to remove it. “So, uh…” I tenuously began, gawking back and forth between her and the trinket, “that’s why you wanted to come here, isn’t it? To propose?”

“Yeah…”

It figured. She ain’t exactly the most imaginative type, so even though both of us have always steered away from big, elaborate displays of affection, especially in public. and reject clichés wherever we can, she’d try pulling off one of the oldest, most overused tricks in the book. “And that note you were writin’… that was for me, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

She may have been lost for words before, but I feel like I’ve been stranded in the middle of nowhere – a miniscule island in a giant ocean. I’m not upset, but neither do I feel warm nor cold. It’s just… stillness. Calm. As if the entire world has shrunken down to this single, tiny object. “Huh.”

Rainbow looked up at me, confused. “What, that’s it? Huh?”

I shrugged, still staring at it. “Can’t think of anythin’ better. It’s all kinda… unexpected, I guess.”

“You don’t seem very surprised.”

“And you don’t seem too eager to ask.”

She recoiled somewhat, wings flaring a little. “Should I?”

I looked up at her. She seemed bewildered. Stupefied. Adorably so. She could’ve been the gosh darn cutest thing in the whole universe in that moment, and that alone would’ve made me the luckiest mare. But I wasn’t going to put her on the spot like that, no way. So, instead, I let my attention wander southwards again and held her forehoof in both of mine. “What’s it made from?”

“Applewood,” she said after a stunned pause, then blinked and shook herself out of her stupor, beaming a small, wistful smile down at the ring. “It’s got this enchantment on it too, courtesy of Twilight. Whoever wears it, so long as we, uh… y’know…”

“Love each other?”

“Yeah, that. So long as we love each other, whoever wears it can walk on clouds.” Rainbow giggled bashfully, and even though it was dark her blush shone through like a glowing hotplate. “I want you to have it. The first thing I want to see every morning when I wake up is you. The second is this. And I want you to keep wearing it, even when I’m not around, because then you’ll know every second of every day that I’ll never, ever stop loving you. Never.”

I met her eyes once more, those mesmerising, delectable pools of magenta and suddenly found myself overwhelmed by a tingling, insatiable itch – a yearning emptiness that begged me to latch onto her and never let go. “Dash…”

“Please, Jackie.” She stole a peck of her own from the tip of my nose. “Would you have me?”

My mouth hung open, caught on the precipice of that fateful word.

I wanted to say it. I really, truly did. My heart pleaded for me to just give in and let the emotion, this wondrous state of complete euphoria, sweep me away to that inevitable response. But for as much happiness, as much sheer joy as I felt, it would’ve been too predictable. And we, as a couple, were meant to be anything but.

“Tell ya what, Dash,” I said, barely keeping the shakiness out of my voice as I lay one of my hooves over the ring and gently lowered it, smiling at her all the while. “You keep it for now. You keep it, and then you spring it on me again sometime when we're back in Ponyville. We both know what the answer's gonna be. The real question… is how you'd surprise me.”

Rainbow appeared to be a little discouraged at first, but the more I went one, the more she began grinning like an idiot. It took every ounce of self-restraint I had not to hug her right then and there.

“Think you can do that?”

In the blink of an eye, her forehoves cupped my cheeks and she pressed her lips to mine. I barely had enough time to squeak, and when I realised what was happening, what could I do but sink into her embrace, humming blissfully.

The kiss may as well have lasted hours for all I cared, and it would’ve been nice if it had, but both of us required air, so it broke apart was we knew it inescapably would, and we lay out foreheads against one another, snout to snout.

“Yes,” she breathed, quiet as a mouse yet without a shred of doubt. “Absolutely.”

The ring wouldn’t matter much in the long run.

She was all the magic I’d need.