For as long as she had dwelled within the quiet village, Rainbow Dash’s unwilling neighbors had been prone to criticize her humble abode. Sure, they’d been excited at first to see someone moving in at last, actually building a house on the long-vacant lot- but the displeasure had begun the moment construction had begun. “Excessive,” they had called it when they first bore witness to the framing. “Gaudy,” came soon after the walls had been completed. Their compliments of the pristine mansion itself were somewhat lacking, if the owner had anything to say about it. What they said about the owner itself was less nice, criticizing the parties and noise and general rambunctiousness that Rainbow was so naturally talented in creating.

Not that she minded. Rainbow Dash, in her usual verve, considered it little more than disguised encouragement and would carry on until she had to deal with those in uniform, and perhaps a little more after that. It wasn’t that she was a terrible neighbor –though perhaps not the best of neighbors- but Rainbow believed a life lived quietly was rarely one of value, and assuredly not one worth emulating.

And for the past two hours, she and Pinkie had been very loud.

If one had caught a glimpse of the dwelling within, it would have been considered cleaner than the aftermath of the average tornado; an obvious trail of clothing led its way through the halls, outer apparel giving way to now-torn undergarments that had clearly been cast aside in a frenzy. What few effects that dotted Rainbow’s hallways had been thoroughly ransacked, either thrown to ground or left shattered by the heady violence of the two paramours. The bedroom door had remained open throughout, per Pinkie’s prerogative. It was probably for the best, if Rainbow was honest: they’d worked up a serious sweat themselves, and a closed door would only have helped the walls add to the perspiration. Maybe if they’d stopped after one round, it wouldn’t have amounted to much. Two, perhaps, if they’d been calmer. But Round Two had been over an hour ago, the excessive sexual drive of the two women not allowing them to actually cease and desist from their animalistic hunger until each had been thoroughly satisfied in a way neither had ever expected to be satisfied in the first place. Rainbow had always known she was well-versed in high-capacity sexual violence, but never in her life had she expected to find an equal.

Much less a superior. Lying there on the bed after two long, glorious, perfect, and thoroughly exhausting hours of frantic lovemaking, the unparalleled athlete rolled herself away from the giggling, deliriously happy baker and found herself staring up at the ceiling in no small degree of awe. She’d hyped herself up for Applejack for months now, more or less thinking of no one else. She’d prepared her body for an apple farmer’s caress, knowing the farmgirl was capable of feats of strength that only Rainbow Dash could match. She’d readied herself in every way she knew how, not willing to be outmatched even by the woman she’d expected to be the love of her life. Yet now, at the receiving end of Pinkie Pie, a single thought that held a single word within it was all the prismatic woman needed to sum up her feelings on the marvelous ordeal: “Ow.”

Pinkie giggled, twisting herself about so as to lie beside –but not on- her long-desired lover, body thoroughly drenched in sweat and sexual delight. “Did we have fun?” she asked playfully.

Rainbow had been thoroughly schooled but wasn’t one to admit that. Pinkie’s luxuriously thicc body wasn’t a façade, and perfectly suited for the frenzied woman’s voracious hunger. Rainbow Dash had trained herself to fight, to endure, and even she had been completely outclassed. Pinkie Pie had made her feel like little more than a rank amateur, and surprisingly she didn’t mind that thought in the slightest.

When she received no response in kind, Pinkie forced herself into a sitting position and looked down upon her prismatic prize with some slight concern. “Rainbow Dash?” she asked. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Only because,” Rainbow managed at last, “I wanted you to.”

Pinkie smiled, lying beside her heart’s desire and placing a kiss on Rainbow’s nose. “So that was fun,” she remarked, a hand gently pushing aside frazzled hair and allowing their eyes to find each other clearly. “Maybe take a nap, go another round?”

Rainbow’s spirit, well supplied with a full assessment of Pinkie’s body, was more than willing. Her flesh, far more thoroughly conquered, was spongey and bruised. “Maybe another time,” she wheezed.

Pinkie erupted into laughter, cuddling up beside her well-toned girltoy in a gentle snuggle. “Miss Rainbow Dash, I didn’t wear you out, did I?”

Her pride was at stake here. “Maybe a little.”

“Bothered by that?”

Rainbow allowed herself another one-over of Pinkie’s perfectly delectable body- and a small feel of pristine titty for good measure. “Not one bit,” she replied.

Pinkie glowed, content to dwell beside her long-awaited prize and bask in her conquest. “Well, if you don’t mind, how about I make us something to eat?” she offered. “I don’t know about you, but I think I’m still hungry.”

Rainbow had been treated like a five-course meal with this woman, but didn’t mind the offer. “Sounds good by me,” she answered.

“Yay! I’ll take a shower, you never want your food to get dirty,” Pinkie said. “But… I don’t know if I can manage your super-expensive shower all by myself, Rainbow Dash. If only you could help me figure it out.”

The offer was inviting, as well as the implications, physical exhaustion overridden by lustful senses. Besides, it wasn’t as though she didn’t need to clean up herself. Rainbow struggled to get to her feet and was helped more by Pinkie than she would’ve admitted, the two women wandering haphazardly over to an awaiting shower that had them thoroughly soaked in moments flat, the comforting flow of the water unclenching their well-used muscles and letting them truly begin to relax. Body still pressed closely against body, even in Rainbow’s spacious shower stall; Pinkie seemed eager to keep feeling Rainbow’s naked body every now and then, and Rainbow felt no inclination to make her stop. They tried to shower, tried to get themselves clean- or at least pretended to. It didn’t take much time for the two to become intertwined yet again, though perhaps their passions a bit more dialed back than they had been before. Rainbow was a more physical being, decisively unromantic and thoroughly sexual in nature- but Pinkie wanted to kiss, and she was in no mood to stop her.

In fact, she found the argument rather persuasive. Pinkie wasn’t as soft as Rarity had been, but there was warmth in each touch of tongue she felt; there was a sweetness on her lips that held a hint of spiciness- did she taste like cinnamon? A thought that clearly required a thorough analysis, Rainbow pressing Pinkie against the shower wall and allowing herself means to explore in deeper fashion. She was surprised at how much she was enjoying this- not just the act itself, but with whom she shared it. Pinkie Pie wasn’t elegant like Rarity, not strong and confident like Applejack; she was attentive, sweeter than the confections she was always surrounded by, who she was taking a person who she had never regarded often and turning her into something desirable. Why had she never considered Pinkie Pie before? Pinkie had clearly considered her. There was something to explore here, and Rainbow liked the idea.

She might just see where it took her.

Their comfortable, warm, shower-soaked kisses eventually came to an end, reality setting in as they extracted themselves from the depths of the shower and crept down to the kitchen, most unfortunately fully clothed. Cravings of hunger began to set in and arouse a different physical need; Rainbow found her mouth already watering, memories of Pinkie’s culinary skills coming back to mind. She wouldn’t leave the table unsatisfied, of that much she was certain.

“Oh gosh, this is the best thing ever,” Pinkie breathed, fingering through a drawer of items and bringing forth a piping bag of icing in hand. “Just what I needed after all that fun we had!” She cocked her head back and prepared to squeeze the rich delicacy directly into her awaiting mouth-

Rainbow felt the flicker of recollection the moment after she saw the piping bag extracted. The Cake’s house- wedding cake- bad idea- poison! “HOLY FUCK DON’T EAT THAT!” She ripped away the deadly concoction the very moment the first sputtering had managed to leak out, barely missing Pinkie’s awaiting orifice and spattering onto the countertops.

“Rainbow!”

“Oh jeez! You didn’t eat any, did you?” Rainbow asked, tossing the piping bag aside and tending to her- girlfriend? Friend with Benefits? I need to get this question answered. “Pinkie, you scared me half to death!”

“It’s just icing!” Pinkie chided playfully. “Goodness, Rainbow, it’s not like I’m not already sorta fat.”

“It’s not about the icing –wait, you’re not fat, you’re extra thicc and I love it- wait a minute! Focus!” Rainbow motioned for silence, trying to get herself and get a grip on her thoughts. “OK… look, that piping bag... uh, it was- sort of, umm- poisoned. By me.”

Pinkie cocked an eye at Rainbow, mystified and suspicious. “Wait…. Isn’t this the icing we were gonna put on Applejack’s wedding cake?” she mused, taking the piping bag and examining it.

“Yeah, I- look, it was a bad idea,” Rainbow admitted. “I backed out and thought better of it. I guess I had a little bit of a conscience to help me out. I’d poked some holes in the bag to add the poison and was planning to just leave it there, but I messed up. I meant to throw it away, actually, guess I just forgot.”

Pinkie sighed and shook her head at her potential girlfriend’s bullishness, giving the piping bag a squeeze- and then suddenly turning rigid. “Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow, in desperate need of something to drink, paused in her search for a water bottle. “Yeah?”

“There’s no hole in this piping bag.”

She hadn’t heard that. Rainbow let the fridge close itself, coming over to Pinkie’s side and taking the most definitely poisoned bag of icing and giving it a thorough examination. She’d poisoned it, she knew she had. It definitely wasn’t a good idea, but she’d pierced a pair of small holes in the center to see it done-

“There’s no holes here,” Rainbow said.

“Uh-huh.”

“I punctured the piping bag to put the poison in,” Rainbow added.

“Uh-huh?”

“I- I dropped the piping bags.” Rainbow gave a start. “I grabbed the wrong bag, thinking I’d grabbed the poisoned one.”

“Uh-huh.”

A rigid, horrified turn to her dear companion. “Pinkie, what did you guys do with the other piping bag of icing?”

“We used it,” Pinkie answered tremulously.

“On Applejack and Princess Celestia’s wedding cake?”

“On their wedding cake.”

“I accidentally poisoned their cake.”

“Uh-huh.”

Pink fuzz held the gaze of numerous colors. Silence held the space between them, realization at what was going to happen swiftly setting in. Poison on a wedding cake, a wedding cake that was surely going to be eaten. By guests, by the wedding party, and the two brides right off the bat. Poison often killed people rather effectively. Pinkie looked at Rainbow, and Rainbow looked at Pinkie. After all their silence had been used up, reality demanded some measure of a reaction, and the two horrified women gave the only one they knew:

Screaming.

“HOLY SHIT I KILLED PRINCESS CELESTIA!” Rainbow shrieked.

“THEY’RE GONNA BLAME THE CAKES FOR THIS, OH MY GOD!”

“OH FUCK, ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE THERE! EVERYBODY WE KNOW IS THERE! HALF OF FUCKING CANTERLOT IS THERE!”

“AND THEY’RE GONNA KNOW IT WAS US!”

“I JUST KILLED HALF A CITY BY ACCIDENT!”

“OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD-”

“OH SHIT- AND THEY’RE GONNA KNOW IT WAS ME!”

“Oh my god we’re gonna DIE!” Pinkie cried, a deluge of tears absolutely drenching the kitchen floor.

Rainbow wanted to run- needed to run, anywhere away from here. She needed to go into hiding, she- “I need to stop that wedding reception!” she roared. “Pinkie, when does their wedding start? Where is it?”

Pinkie gave a wet sniff. “It’s in the palace,” she moaned, “and the wedding started ten minutes ago.”

Ten minutes ago, in a city quite far away. With no way to reach it in time, and no means by which she could enter, Rainbow’s tactical calculations summarized the entire situation rather succinctly: “We are so fucked.”

“Oh no we’re not!” Pinkie’s drenched hair suddenly dried itself, the frizzy woman taking Rainbow in an iron grip and racing out the door. “We’re gonna destroy that wedding cake and save everybody’s butts right now! Quick- to the Pinkie Trebuchet!”

Rainbow had never known Pinkie could be that fast, she positively dragged along through town until she was in the backyard of the bakery and standing beside a gargantuan machine of wood and rope the likes of which she hadn’t seen anywhere but pictures in history books. “What the hell- a catapult?”

“Catapults suck ass, you beautiful idiot!” Pinkie replied, throwing Rainbow into the bucket and promptly snuggling in beside her, a rope held fast in the grips of her hands. “Now shut up- we’re flying!”

“Wait we’re-”

A harsh tug from Pinkie Pie and the rope released the bucket at last, the counterweight moving with speed that made even their rapid trek through town seem like a snail’s pace in comparison. A sudden lurch from below and Rainbow found herself flung through the air with as much dignity as last week’s trash, hurtling into the sky and leaving the scream she released somewhere miles behind her.

Anyone who had been able to squeeze themselves in had found themselves into the royal hall, the incredible throng of spectators not enough to deter any of the guards who had wanted a glimpse of their Princess’s wedding. They knew it would be a once-in-a-lifetime event, a moment in time that would be cherished by all who witnessed it- and most by their beloved Lady herself. Some had debated amongst themselves: would this make the farmer Applejack a Princess? If so, what was she the Princess of- Nature? The arguments were good-natured, but endured constantly, even if the participants didn’t much care about the answers. Their Celestia, whom they cherished in their work, was getting married. Her happiness was what mattered most to them.

Despite the desire for otherwise, some unlucky few still found themselves outside and away from the ceremonies- and eventual festivities. Watchful eyes still patrolled the walls, even if not a soul expected a thing to happen. Every Princess of Equestria was inside the hall for the wedding, along with some of the kingdom’s greatest defenders. Anyone who chose to strike now was suicidal.

A cheer erupted from somewhere within, only slightly muffled by the great breadth of stone that encapsulated it all. A pair of armed guards patrolled along the walkways, pausing to listen for a moment as the great roar of a throng came into earshot.

“Guess that did it,” said the taller of the two, a small smile growing even on his dour face. “Ever thought our Princess would be a married woman?”

“No. And you don’t get to pussy out of answering,” said his companion. “Now… defend yourself, asshole.”

The guardsman sighed, tired of this debate that had continued since they had begun their patrol. He was right and that was simply it, far as he was concerned. This argument was superfluous right from the moment it had begun. “Yes.”

“No,” the other countered, glaring and positively set in her mind.

“Yes.”

“I'm telling you, she's the little spoon,” the guardsman said.

His friend snorted. “Get fucked. The Princess of Equestria is not a little spoon."

“Bet.”

“OK, wise-ass. Why?” He’d been arguing this point for a while now, and demanded a full explanation. Now was no time to falter.

The taller of the two groaned. “Total relinquishment of power. Gets to relax and be vulnerable. Why wouldn't she be?” he asked.

“Because that's stupid. She's the big spoon.”

“Five bits I'm right,” came the challenge.

His companion, however, was not quite so foolish as to be certain. “Go fuck yourself.”

The guardsman laughed, knowing that he’d gotten his friend into a corner. “Pussy.”

… But there were some things one simply couldn’t take. “Fine, here. Jackass.” Coins switched hands and confirmed the bet, a stupid question already forming in the soldier’s minds. There would be a time when they’d get it answered, no matter the consequences. It was only a matter of time.

Silence carried between them as they continued their rounds, walking along the gleaming stone wall and surveying the lands below.

“... Who's got the bigger rack, Princess Luna or Fluttershy?”

“Fluttershy.”

“Yeah, I think so, to-”

A hand held up in a call for silence. “Hold on. You hear that?”

The guardsman held a hand to his ear, straining to hear the strangest of sounds: a high-pitched squealing thing that seemed to be growing in volume- or perhaps even growing close. “Yeah, is- is someone screaming?”

A darkened shape was moving through the air with great speed, coming directly towards them and showing no shift in its trajectory. Was it an animal? An explosive? It surely couldn’t be-

“Is that a person?”

As if on cue, the world suddenly became very weird- a pair of human figures, one screaming in terror as the other echoed in delight, crashing onto the wall with such perfect finesse that it seemed remarkably uncanny. Right before the eyes of the two stunned guards stood two young women, absolutely out of place and offering no explanation for how they’d even gotten there in the first place.

“Wow, that worked!” Pinkie cried happily, breathless from excitement at their airborne trip. “Ooh, we’ll have to do that again if we don’t get thrown in prison! Can we, Dashie, please-”

“Hey!” Some manner of instinct finally found its way into the minds of the shocked guards and they made to grab hold of their unexpected foes-

“Whoop! Sorry, boys, we’ve gotta go!” Pinkie cried, she and Rainbow racing away down the wall and heading towards the nearest entrance into the castle hallways.

Rainbow was in a near-state of panic as she ran alongside her eager accomplice. She needed to correct this mistake now or else she really might see prison walls for the rest of her life. Was Tartarus still open? She didn’t want to find out the answer. She just needed to find that cake and somehow make right her potentially disastrous wrong before things got out of hand. The idea of killing all her friends and all of the kingdom’s royalty by her own stupidity wasn’t a thought that she found very appealing.

“Stop where you are! Freeze, dammit!” Their pursuers were still hot on their tail and gaining accomplices; those along the wall were focused on nothing but their surprise assailants that no doubt wanted to cause mischief, even if they did seem quite familiar-

“We’re gonna get caught!” Rainbow gasped, the halls of the castle like a labyrinth as they entered. How was she supposed to find this cake if she didn’t have the slightest clue where it was?”

“Oh no we’re not!” Pinkie replied confidently, taking Rainbow by the hand and leading her along. “Come on, I know where they’re gonna have the reception!”

“Stop right now! Surrender, hands on your head!” The calls for an end to the chase were growing louder with each new voice, the clink of armor and weapons making Rainbow’s stomach churn. Pinkie was guiding them expertly and they were moving as fast as they could, but time wasn’t on their side. If the reception had already started before they’d arrived…

“Wow, they’re all really fast, even with all that armor on,” Pinkie said, taking a look over her shoulder at the growing horde of guards giving chase. “That’s kinda hot, I’d ask for a date or two if I didn’t love you so much-”

“Hey!”

“Just kidding- oop, we’re running out of room!” Pinkie ducked as a stone flew by her head and missed only by mere inches. “Rainbow, you’re gonna have to go on alone, I’ll stall them!” A hand delved into the pocket of her shorts and extracted a massive sledgehammer, pressing the titanic object into Rainbow’s hands-

“But I don’t know where to-”

“Next hallway and take a right, you’ll see the reception hall ahead of you! Love you, let me eat your ass later!” Pinkie stopped dead in her tracks and whirled herself about, casting aside her shirt and letting her magnificent bosoms be displayed in all their unparalleled glory. “Feast your eyes, boys!”

Those that managed to stay conscious in the sight of such naked splendor gave a cacophony of reactions, some crying out in words of praise, others unable to do anything but gawk at this truly unforgettable experience. One or two turned to their comrades-in-arms and began throwing punches, clearly eager to knock away any potential rivals that could threaten their imagined claim upon such tracts of land-

Rainbow found herself stopping by instinct, suddenly buoyed by anger at such a reveal of the glorious milkers she adored. “Hey, those are mine-”

“Run, you idiot!”

Rainbow felt more pressure to not let those bum guards get a good look at her girlfriend’s titties but she obeyed, racing down the hall and seeing the grand doors of the reception hall far ahead of her- and still sealed shut! “Holy shit, I might actually pull this off!”

Before there could be any chance of someone appearing to stop her, Rainbow Dash crashed through the door and tried to seal it shut behind her, immediately calling it a waste of time in light of more pressing matters. She scanned the room, searching for the beautiful cake that required total destruction by her hand. The place was beautifully decorated, clearly the work of Pinkie and Rarity together, the displays of excellence now doing little more than obscuring her view. She needed that damned cake-!

“Aha!” There in the back corner, sitting alone on a table and meant to hold the attention of the guests as they came towards the food line. It was a beautiful thing, probably the best cake Pinkie and the Cakes had ever created. It really was a pity it had to be smashed. “Alright,” Rainbow said, taking the massive sledgehammer and swinging it high into the skies above her head. “Time to die, bitch!”

The hall doors slammed opened and there, adorned in a magnificent pink dress and somehow seething with unimaginable wrath, was Princess Luna. Her eyes locked onto the now-trembling form of Rainbow Dash, a quick analysis of both sledgehammer and situation enough to explain everything. “Don’t- you- dare!” She snarled.

Rainbow dared.

At least she wasn’t dead. Or Rainbow didn’t think she was dead. She might be surer of that statement if she was certain how she’d gotten here.

She was, far as she was aware, in a prison cell. Cold and dingy, marked by an air of ill use about it. The palace likely wasn’t a place that saw its prisons ever put to much use, so she might be this cell’s first occupant in quite some time. Maybe even centuries. It would be a cool fact if it didn’t mean she was probably gonna die.

She wondered how she’d ended up here. Rainbow wasn’t certain of much after the remnants of wedding cake had overwhelmed her vision. There’d been a hand –likely Luna’s- and then after that, nothing. It wasn’t the best recollection of past events, nor did it explain how she’d ended up down here. I hope Pinkie’s alright, was her first thought.

Her second thought was a little more rancorous. How dare she show off her tits like that! Those are mine, dammit!

There was a sound from somewhere out of sight that brought an end to her musings. A creak that spoke of rusted hinges, maybe a door somewhere being opened. And footsteps, alright- but heels? Here? Rainbow was fairly certain it wasn’t Princess Luna. As they came close and at last into view, she hadn’t expected a mermaid wedding dress that held Applejack.

There was a small tremor of spirit inside her at the sight of the beautiful farmgirl, despite Rainbow’s best efforts. This was why Princess Celestia had instructed her to not try and attend the wedding; the dress fit wonderfully, flaunting the natural sensuousness that Applejack so easily possessed. The soft, creamy, almost-rosy white was a perfect match for the blonde hair, and seemed to make her freckles twinkle like stars. The addition of makeup, perfectly applied and only in spare places, had enhanced the woman’s natural beauty. To Rainbow Dash’s displeased mind, it wasn’t difficult to remember why she’d fallen for this woman; she really was one of the most beautiful women on earth.

Applejack regarded the imprisoned Rainbow Dash with a bemused expression, the barest hint of a smile hidden behind a hand resting against her lips. “Howdy,” she said.

Rainbow pushed unhappy thoughts aside and tried to ignore how she wanted to feel. “Hey, Applejack.”

“You smashed my wedding cake,” Applejack remarked. Her voice was calm, eerily like Princess Celestia’s. Just how much had she changed since she’d become entwined with the Princess?

“There was an accident.”

“You didn’t mean to smash my wedding cake?” Applejack asked.

“Umm.” Rainbow floundered for a moment. “An accident before that.”

“So I heard.”

She needed to ask, a small fear of someone suffering due to her mistakes. “Is Pinkie alright?”

“Yeah. She’s upstairs saying hi to the girls,” Applejack answered. “Told us what happened, too.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Rainbow wanted to look anywhere but Applejack, to think of anything but Applejack. Celestia had been right, she really wasn’t capable of this. Maybe never capable again, but she didn’t want to lose such a good friend because of her idiocy-

“Did you really try to kill Tia?” Applejack inquired.

Tia? Of course. They were a couple, of course such names would find their way. “It was a coping mechanism?” Rainbow suggested.

“Through murder,” Applejack assessed.

“I didn’t say it was healthy.”

Applejack shook her head, looking away for a moment until her smile couldn’t be held in check, laughter breaking through and illuminating the dulled prison. Even in the midst of her embarrassment, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but join in- even if it were at her own expense.

“Rainbow, darlin’,” Applejack said, “you might the most stubborn gal I’ve ever met. Attack goats, for heaven’s sake.”

Rainbow couldn’t resist laughing at that one. “I’ve had better ideas,” she admitted.

“Well… thanks, I guess,” Applejack replied. “Doubt we would’ve wanted to start married life with getting poisoned. I mean, would’ve been nice to not have the cake poisoned at all…”

“I wasn’t trying!” Rainbow protested. “Look, AJ, I just- would- would you do me a favor, please?”

Applejack regarded her friend, still glowing with that gentle amusement that seemed almost royal, too graceful for a mere apple farmer to acquire on her own.

Rainbow knew what she was going to do would hurt. “Look, umm,” she began, “I know you probably know what’s going on and everything- and… and how I feel- or felt.”

“I know,” Applejack said, her voice softening and losing its touch of humor in light of more serious matters. “Tia and I weren’t trying to hurt you, I promise. I know it’s not fun.”

A reminder of Rarity, a love she’d denied Applejack only a few years ago. How odd that it had led to this. “Can you-? Look, I know it’s stupid, but can you tell me? I need to hear it from you to make it stop.”

Applejack smiled, sympathy in her eyes as she waved a ringed finger for Rainbow to see. “And I’ve never been happier,” she declared, “I love that silly Princess, Rainbow. Tia and I just… she makes me happy.”

And I wouldn’t have? The question wanted to be asked, it begged to be, but Rainbow stamped it out with a solid shake of her head. Those days were gone, never to be born or see daylight at all. If Applejack was her friend, even in the barest measure, she would be happy for her. “Congrats on getting married, AJ,” she said at last. “Celestia is… she’s cool.”

“Oh, cool, is she?” Applejack teased. “What, did failed regicide make you change your mind?”

Rainbow knew better than to try and answer. “So, umm… what are you gonna do with me- Princess?” she added, remembering at last what had transpired.

“Oh hush, I ain’t no Princess,” Applejack replied. “At least not like that. I’m still an Apple, even if I got married, and don’t you forget it. I don’t want none of this fancy titles and what-not in the slightest.”

“Why not?”

“Because she is far too humble,” came the answer, Princess Celestia stepping forth from out of sight and standing beside her bride, a single kiss to the forehead as greeting. “She’ll never let me treat her right, no matter how much I beg her.”

“Don’t you start that again,” Applejack countered, the argument between the two clearly an old one. “I’m just your girl and that’s all that matters. I don’t need to be some Princess for that to be true.”

“Another time, perhaps,” Celestia said, smiling nonetheless as she turned to Rainbow. She was clearly the perfect match to Applejack, dressed in a resplendent wedding dress that so naturally accented her beauty. They were both lovely, and each made better by the other. It was the first time she had seen them truly together, Rainbow realized, and she was glad she had not put it to an end.

“So you decided to show up after all,” Celestia guessed.

“Sorry for destroying your wedding cake,” Rainbow said, and truly meaning it.

Celestia looked at Rainbow, and then turned to her wife, her smile growing as a light danced in her eyes. “I believe it can be forgiven,” she said after some thought. “But only if you come join us at the reception. We’d hate for you to miss it.”

Rainbow Dash, despite her misgivings, had a good time. She didn’t intend to stay for more than a few minutes, but found herself in the midst of a far more finely dressed crowd for nearly an hour. Greetings with friends were shared alongside apologies, some not quite yet complete in light of darkened pasts. Rarity’s eyes still held sorrow, only dimmed by the comforting touch of her darling Fleur; Luna still appeared eager to squish Rainbow like a bug, the fire promptly squelched by Fluttershy’s gentle words. Rainbow hoped there would be time to see those wounds healed and finally made right.

Rainbow held back as guests took to the floor in a dance, her eyes drifting through the numerous couples as they went back and forth in tandem, some perhaps more perfectly than others; Rarity and Fleur were a seamless pair, the two pristine beauties intertwined in an elegant waltz that Rainbow knew she never could have managed; there was still bitterness between she and the fashionista, but maybe she’d see it put to rest someday. A gleam of light caught her eye and she smiled softly at the sight of Fluttershy resting comfortably in the arms of Luna, the two dancing slowly and so deep in their own little world that none could hope to rouse them from it anytime soon; they held wedding bands, too, Rainbow realized- she’d love to finally hear the story behind it.

A wave of blonde hair and Rainbow gave a bittersweet smile as she watched Applejack move alongside Celestia, a small pang of heart as she watched them kiss. It would be a long while before she was fully alright with it, but she wanted to be. Needed to be, really, if she were honest. They’d been friends long before Rainbow had tried to change things, and Applejack had spent many years glad of Rainbow’s friendship in turn. It would be such a waste to throw it all aside and cling to bitter feelings, especially now when both could be happy with a different sort of future. Maybe not fully, maybe not yet, but someday- hopefully soon.

Rainbow caught the eye of Celestia and could have sworn she saw a smile; a wave of farewell and the prismatic woman turned to leave, trying not to laugh as she saw Twilight out of the corner of her eye, arms about Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom as the drunken, lovesick trio toddled off to find some secluded corner. Just what else had she missed in all her oblivious pining? The thought of frizzy, pink hair entered her mind; one absent from festivities, and somehow the one least likely to be.

The evening sun was fading in the distant sky when Rainbow Dash at last found herself standing outside the gates of her home, a weary sort of smile on her face as she beheld it. Yes, it would likely be a lonely night, but there were far worse fates. She could live with it for a little while longer, and it would be good to get her thoughts sorted out.

To her surprise, the door opened; Pinkie Pie, kitchen apron draped across her front as she stood at the threshold, a warm smile adorning her sweet face as she awaited the arrival of her heart’s deepest desire. “Hey, Rainbow Dash,” she said gently. “Welcome home.”

“Hey, Pinkie,” Rainbow greeted, smiling more deeply at the sight of the comfortably dressed woman. Pinkie wasn’t anyone but Pinkie, not a dash of elegance or regality, or any of that strong presence in the slightest- nothing but warmth and sunshine, all of it there for Rainbow to cherish. She would not have to be alone tonight after all, and the thought soothed her, made her tired spirit find a fresh wave of energy. Before Pinkie could say another word, Rainbow took the loving woman in her arms for a kiss of her own making, a small squeak of happiness slipping from between them as the overjoyed baker melted into her arms.

“Ooh…” Pinkie’s face was rapturous. “Feel free to do that anytime.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Rainbow said smoothly, enjoying the pleasant plumpness of Pinkie’s lips on her own for a second time around. “Can I come in?”

Pinkie’s hand took her own and led her inside, the lights of the kitchen beckoning them further in. “I hope you said hi to everybody,” she said, “sorry I had to leave early, I wanted to make us some dinner. I figured you wouldn’t want to stay long.”

The intuition was a surprise to Rainbow, but one she was quickly grateful for: a wonderful spread of roast chicken sat upon the kitchen table, completed by a steaming bowl of mashed potatoes and green beans along its side. The smell was intoxicating, a fantastic indicator to the quality of the meal. She was already beginning to feel her mouth water. “Wow.”

“Like it?” Pinkie asked. “I figured you’d like something simple- you know, nothing too heavy. And it’s mostly pretty good for you, so you can stay fit and strong like always!”

“It’s perfect,” Rainbow whispered, taking a seat and leaning back to survey the glorious meal before her. It was for her- her and Pinkie, the pink-haired chef sliding down onto Rainbow’s lap and settling her arms about her neck.

“Mind if I keep you company, sweetheart?” Pinkie asked, leaning in and placing a kiss on Rainbow’s cheek.

Rainbow Dash laughed, at last realizing just how pretty Pinkie Pie really was. It was a shame it had taken her this long to figure that out, too. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she answered happily.

Author's Note

And so it ends.

I wish I'd done better on this, I never could figure it out. Damn. Shout-out for my most downvoted story because I didn't use the most common shipping pair in the show.

Well, I'm off. I've got an epilogue for something else to finish.