Pony Grumps

Chapters

Welcome to Equestria, bitch/ bath time
Meet the neighbors.
a very grump wedding part 1.
The crystal lovelies part 1
The Crystal Lovelies Part Two
A Very Grump Wedding part 2

Welcome to Equestria, bitch/ bath time

Pony Grumps

Welcome to Equestria, bitch/ Bath time

"Congratulations, Jon, you saved all of Hyrule from a giant pig. I think I have a cookie somewhere for you.”, said Egoraptor.

"Thanks. That's all for this episode of Game Grumps. Tune in next week, which will be next month for you guys by the way, for the new game!”, said Jontron as both of them started to laugh. After a few moments they finally stopped laughing as Ego reached up and turned the microphone off.

"Now what should we do?", said Egoraptor.

"Play another fucking game.”, said Jon.

"Oh yeah. Which one should we play?"

"I don't know.”, said Jon as he took out a random pen. "Here, throw this at the wall. Whichever game it lands on, we'll play."

"Aren't we just ripping off AVGN?"

"Just throw it."

"Fine." Ego grabbed the pen and threw it against the book case full of games. Jon got up and pulled out the case.

"This is a DVD; you got something to say to me?"

"It's not my fault, it's the pen. It got the wrong coordinates."

"Don't blame the pen, I like the pen."

"What do you have a crush on the pen?"

"Maybe I'm gay for pen."

"How do you know it's a boy pen?"

"Because it's a fucking pen, that's why." Just then, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it."

Jon opened the door to find a mail woman with a package. She had an all gray shirt, brown cargo shorts, a brown mail bag, blond hair, and she was crossed eyed. "Can I help you?”, said Jon, with a rock by his feet, but the mail woman said nothing. She just handed him a big package and walked off. "That was weird." He walked back in to find Ego playing with his Kindle.

"Who was it?"

"Apparently it was a package."

"From who?"

"I don't know, it's unmarked." Jon opened the package. Inside under all the week old, balled up paper, was a case. The case contained a disk that said 'Game Grumps: Adventures in Equestria.'

"We got a game."

"What's it called?", said Ego as Jon handed him the disk, he stared at it for less than a second before making up his mind. “Cool, let's play it." Ego got up and opened his 360s disk tray.

"Stick it in good.” said Jon as Ego got back on the couch.

The game booted up and an 8-bit screen came on with the Game Grumps logo on it. They both pressed the start button on their controller, then, all of a sudden, the screen turned into a back shot of them on the couch. They both turned around to see nothing, and then turned back several times.

"What the hell? Did we enter Spaceballs or something?” , said Ego. Jon put his hand out and started to wave it and saw his TV self waving it in sync.

"This is creeping me out, turn it off." Jon said as Ego got up and tried to turn the 360 off, but nothing happened.

"I can't, it won't let me."

"Try unplugging it." Jon suggested Ego grabbed the cord and pulled it out of the wall. Once it was unplugged, the screen went black, but a green dot remained on the screen. Ego jumped on the couch and both friends hugged each other in terror.

"I'm scared Jon."

"You have soft hair."

"I know." The TV began forming text for them to read. It said

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Game Grumps. I am going to have to put you in Equestria.” , said the text as a giant portal formed in the TV and lighting flowed out and grabbed them.

"The TV's going to rape us." said Ego

"Good bye cruel world." ,said Jon. Both of them got dragged into the TV, both screamed in terror at the sight of binary coding around them, as they fell deep into the unknown.
________________________________________________________________________________

Celestia was using her magic to spread bath salts into her large bath tub. She dipped her hoof into the water to test the temperature. She let out a satisfied moan when she found that the water was the perfect temperature. It wasn't too hot or too cold, it was warm and just right. She stepped into the bath and let out a sigh. She let her wings spread out as she submerged her whole body, except her mane and head, under the water.

"Ah, all my paperwork is done, my sister is taking over business for me, and I have three whole hours to myself." Celestia let out another sigh of relaxation and repeated "Three whole hours..." She closed her eyes and started dozing off.
As she dozed off, a small flame started to form above her head.

"Ah, that must be a new friendship report. How I love hearing from my subjects while I relax." The flame started flickering in place, but instead of a scroll, it formed into two bodies. Jon and Ego appeared from the area the fire had been, and fell into the water. Celestia had a look of surprise as the two of them came up from the warm water coughing hard.

"You okay, Jon?” said Ego

"I have water up my nose.”, said Jon as he blew water out of his nose "It's seriously way up there."

"Who, and what are you two?” asked Princess Celestia. Both of them slowly turned towards her.

"Who, and what are WE? Who, and WHAT are you, walking marshmallow with a head dildo and wings?"

"Oh, of course. My name Is Princess Celestia of Equestria. Now If I may repeat myself, who, and what are you?"

"My name is Egoraptor and this is Jontron. we're humans-.”, said Ego

"I don't know about you.”, said Jon

"Shut your goddamn face. I have no idea how we got here but I'm in a giant bath with a giant horse and a giant boner so I don't need you interrupting me."

"You mean a tiny boner.”, said Jon as Ego face palmed himself

"See, it's statements like that that makes people think we're gay."

"You two are certainly some interesting characters.”, said Celestia

"You're a character.”, said Ego

"How dare you, you know she’s from a cartoon.”, said Jon

"You don't know that."

"You are talking to a fucking..... What are you?"

"I'm an alicorn."

"A fucking alicorn, how often can you say you see one of those things?"

"I think they have one in Mexico somewhere, or maybe China, they think of everything."

"*Ahem* getting back on topic, I don't know how you two got in my bath, but it appears the bath time fun has been doubled."

"Jon, I'm having second thoughts about this place."

"Sister, can I borrow your conditioner... Oh, I didn't know you had company. They are very strange looking.”, said Luna. Ego looked at her with wide eyes that looked like someone saw the most beautiful thing in the world and his face formed a big smile.

"And now I'm having third thoughts."

"Maybe we should talk in a place that's more private.", said Celestia as she went out of the bath and used her magic to wrap a towel around her waist and mane. Both of the Grumps, annoyingly followed her out of the bath in soaking wet cloths.
As they walked to Celestia's bedroom, they all talked about each other’s worlds. They told her how they were internet personalities, and then they had to tell her what the internet was, though, they stayed away from talking about Rule 34. After a few minutes, they finally arrived at Celestia's chamber.

"Well, not that this wasn't fun, but could you magic us back to earth already?” asked Ego

"I'm afraid that since I don't know were your earth is I can't "magic" you anywhere. I can, however, make your stay here a pleasant one until me and my sister can get you two home. First we need to get you some disguises. Hold still." Celestia then blasted them both with a magic beam. After the smoke cleared, the moderately popular internet sensations, had been turned into ponies. Jontron was a unicorn with yellow fur, a black mane and tail, his two gears logo for a cutie mark, surprisingly enough, all of his clothes but his beige hat were gone. Egoraptor was a Pegasus with blue fur, a black mane and tail, and his animated face for a cutie mark.

"Great, I always wanted to be a horse.”, said Jon

"You’re a pony, not a horse."

"Oh, yeah, that makes me feel better. Not to question "God" but we don't have a place to live.”, said Jon

"Unless we are sharing with you two, in which case I call your sisters bed."

"That won't be necessary good sirs. My faithful student will be more than happy to take you two in until I can find a way to get you two home. Her name is Twilight sparkle and she lives in Ponyville library, It is easy to find since it's made from a tree, I will allow my guards to escort you there."
Both Jon and Ego trotted off towards the carrier, as the two flew over the alien country side, they noticed it was almost sunset outside.

"This place looks so beautiful.”, said Jon.

"Oh yeah, the hills or the city?”, said Ego.

"Neither. I don't have a vagina."

"Right answer.”, said Ego as he gave Jon a bro hoof. "Look, there’s the town."

"Ten bucks say this Twilight is a book worm.”, said Jon

"I say she’s a Twilight fan.”, said Ego

"You’re on." The carrier landed in the middle of Ponyville, as soon as they were off, the guards nodded and flew off, leaving the pair on their own. "So, where’s this place again?"

"All she said was it was a library built into a tree.”, said Ego

“I just realized that's a fire hazard waiting to happen.”, said Jon when all of a sudden they both were stopped by another pony. They both looked forward to see a certain pink colored pony.

"Hello?" Pinkie just stared at them silently. "Hello....... Um, green light." All of a sudden, Pinkie jumped in the air gasping, and ran off. "Now I'm legitimately scared of this place.” The Grumps trotted around for a while, until finally, they found the library.

"Well, should we just go in?"

"No dude, don't be rude. Just knock on the door, and wait for them to come." As Jon said that, the door opened and Jon slipped and fell in.

"Hello, you two must be the Princess' friends."

"Yeah, I'm Egoraptor, this pile on the floor is Jontron."

"Hi lady, your carpet is lumpy."

"That's because you’re lying on Spike." Jon got up and saw a pancaked Spike on the ground. He then used his magic to snap him back to normal.

"How did you know how to do that?" Jon mulled over the question for a few seconds and finally answered.

"I don't know."

"Where are we going to sleep? Because I'm getting tired."

"Well, I have an extra bed one of you can have, and one of you can sleep on the couch."

"I CALL THE COUCH.", quickly said Jon.

"I'll take the bed."

"Before you two go to bed, did you two happen come across a pink pony on the way here?"

"Why yes, and I just want you to know that if she has a problem we will be there for her."

"No, it's not that. Just be ready for a party tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Well it's getting late, let's go to bed.” said Jon as he jumped on the couch and pulled the blanket over himself.

"Something tells me our stay here won't end well.” said Ego as he trotted off to bed and quickly, dozed off.

Meet the neighbors.

Jon woke up to find himself on the couch with his hind legs open and one of his hoofs over his head. He lowered his hoof and saw the inside of the library. He was all alone except for the dragon he fell on the day before, who was sleeping in a basket on the floor.

"That can't be good for your back”, said Jon as he got off the couch and stretched. When he was done stretching he walked over to the downstairs bathroom. As he entered it, Ego came down, stopping halfway downstairs to rub his eyes. He walked to the fruit bowl and picked up an apple. As he brought it up to his mouth, he heard Jon scream from the bathroom,

“Holy mother of god.” Jon ran out of the bathroom.

“What’s wrong?”, said Ego.

“Dude, duuuuude, have you looked at your dick yet?”, asked Jon.

“Umm, no why?”

“Look between your legs”, Ego did as his friend asked, and stared where he assumed his privates would be. He quickly jerked his head back up after realizing what Jon meant.

“Dude."

“I know. It looks like you’re a woman, right?”

“Well that, and the fact that it’s so easy to see.”

"Oh yeah, that too."

"Kinda makes me wonder how easy it would be to sneak a peek." All of a sudden, Arin and Jon heard a loud yawn from the stairs. They saw Twilight there with her hair all messy and bags over her eyes.

"Morning you two, I hope you slept well", Twilight greeted the pair with a yawn.

"I'm a bachelor, I'm accustomed to sleeping on the couch", said Jon

"You sleep on the couch in my house too", said Ego.

"Shut up."

"You two are some strange ponies."

"I'm not a po-" Jon began informing the unicorn, before Ego put his hoof over his mouth with an awkward smile on his face.

"Anyway..., I guess I need to give you two a trip around town. Let me just freshen up and then we'll get going."

"Sounds good.", said Ego as he continued to hold the now flailing Jontron. Twilight trotted over to the bathroom and closed the door, at which point, Ego let go of Jon as he let out a huge breath and fell over. Jon got on his hooves as Ego was saying,

"Are you a fucking idiot Jon? We can't let anybody know about us being humans."

"Did you have to grab my muzzle!?"

"Yes... Yes I did."

"Well, give me some fucking warning next time."

"I wouldn't have to if you just knew how things worked, Now don't tell anybo- I mean 'anypony' that we're humans."

"Noted."

"What's noted?", asked the now returning Twilight as she exited the bathroom with a brush tugging at her mane.

"I was....... Uuuuhhhhh just telling Jon to take notes and he said noted." Jon gave ego a very dirty look after Twilight was not looking at them anymore.

"Really."

"Shutup Jon."

"Anyway, are you two ready to check out the rest of Ponyville?", said Twilight as both Jon and Ego nodded their heads in agreement. Twilight opened the door with her magic as Jon and Ego followed her. The town was hustling and bustling with ponies.

The market was full of stalls selling everything from pots and pans to apples and carrots.

As Twilight was walking she pulled out her grocery list.

"So this place is advanced enough to have indoor plumbing, but doesn't know how to make a grocery store?", complained Jon.

"This place is like a reverse third world country", said Ego.

"Okay, you two-", said Twilight as she pulled out another list and a small bag of bits "- since Spike has the day off, maybe you two can help me out. I know the princess wanted me to take you two in, but you can consider this your way of paying for rent. Meet me at Sugarcube Corner when you're done, just look for the big pink building."

"Oh Lordy, yes, master, right away master", said Ego.

"Oooookay then", said Twilight as she trotted away.

"What the hell was that Arin?"

"I was pretending to be an old jive black girl from the south."

"I find that both racist and hilarious. Lets do this shopping list."

Jon and Ego were trotting through the Market, stopping at the stall that sold asparagus.

Jon used his magic to lift out some bits and picked up the asparagus. Both Jon and Ego walked towards the next stall when Jon said.

"Dude, real talk?"

"Yeah?"

"This can't be good for the economy."

"What can't?"

"A currency made from gold. It's like, unless you have a never ending supply, it is so fucking impractical."

"That's a good point actually. Oh shit hold up, here's the apple stand", said Ego as both Jon and Ego trotted over the apple stand. There were two ponies there. One was orange with a blond mane and a hat, the other had a red mane and a bow

"Howdy there, I'm Applejack, and this is my little sister Apple Bloom"

"Howdy sirs. Are you here to buy some apples?", said Apple Bloom

"Why, yes, we are here to buy some apples for Twilight", said Jon

"What are we, her new slaves?", said Ego

"Well, I don't know about you, bu-." Applejack came up to both Jon and Ego and started to shake Ego's hoof in an overly exaggerated fashion.

"I haven't seen you around Ponyville, that must mean y'all must be new in town. Well, any friend of Twilights is a friend of mine."

"Same here, Applejack", said Jon as Ego looked at his throbbing hoof

"So where are you two from any how?"

"We're from California" informed Jon, as Applejack and Apple Bloom looked at him with a quizzical expression

"Where in Equestria is that?", asked Apple Bloom curiously.

"It's a district in Canterlot. We're from Canterlot", Ego deadpanned.

"Oh, I bet Rarity's gonna love you two."

"BUT 'I'M SAVING MYSELF" Jon exclaimed out loud, as everypony in the market looked at him with a scrunchy face.

"Jon, calm down. Sorry, my friend is very excitable."

"I couldn't tell. Anyway, you two came to buy some apples, right?" Ego pulled out the grocery list.

"Yeah, can we have five apples?"

"Alright then,", said Applejack as she put the apples into the bag they had "That'll be 15 bits partner." Jon used his magic to float 15 bits out of the money pouch. Both Jon and Ego gave Applejack a nod and trotted off.

"Y'all come back now." she waved them away.

"And you keep being a western stereotype", said Ego as both of trotted away while laughing.

The both of them continued to shop through the market when they found out that the list they were given was all done.

"Well, now what?", said Jon.

"Didn't Twilight say to meet her at someplace called Sugarcube Corner?"

"Oh yeah, well it shouldn't be too hard to find a pink colored building."

Both Jon and Ego trotted through Ponyville looking for the place, when all of a sudden, they heard somepony yell out "LOOK OUT BELOW!"

They turned around to see a rainbow streak heading right for them. Jon sidestepped as Ego was struck to the ground. Ego had stars in his eyes as he got up to see a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane. She also got up and looked over to Jon and Ego and gave out a small chuckle.

"Sorry about that, I was trying out a new trick."

"I see stars..."

"That's Arins way of saying it's okay." Ego got up, stumbling around a bit before he stopped next to Jon and hit the side of his head to uncross his eyes.

"The name's Rainbow Dash."

"Hi there Rainbow, I'm Jon and this is my friend Arin but you can call him Egoraptor."

"You two must be the new ponies Applejack was talking to."

"How do you know we were talking to Applejack?", asked Jon

"I was cloud swimming nearby when I heard you two talking." As Jon and Rainbow were talking, Ego used his wings to fly off to a nearby cloud.

"Say, we're actually trying to meet Twilight somewhere, do you know were Sugarcube Corner is?"

"Oh it's right there", said Rainbow pointing at a building no more than 10 feet away.

"Well, now I feel like an idiot, anyway lets go A.... Arin."

"Over here", called out Ego as he lowered down a cloud he was sitting on.

"There you are. That looks so comfortable."

"It is, hop on." Jon brought up his front hoofs and he fell right through the cloud as his horn got stuck in the ground, causing Rainbow and Ego to fall back laughing.

"Oh sure, pick on the fat guy." Jon got his horn out of the ground after a bit of struggling and got back up, rubbing his head.

"You okay, Jon?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Well now that that's out of the way, let's get to Sugarcube Corner."

"Actually, before you two go, let me give you a little advice. Don't question or engage the pony called Pinkie Pie, trust me, your brain wont be able to handle it."

"Thanks for the random advice. Come on Arin."

"Right behind you, Jon", said Ego as he and the cloud followed Jon. He passed some ponies while saying "Beep beep, I'm a cloud, one way".

As they Got to Sugarcube Corner, Ego got off the cloud and followed Jon inside. As they stepped in, the smell of many sweets overcame them. They stood there for a good minute, enjoying all the sweet and fresh smells. When they stopped smelling they saw that Twilight was there picking up some cupcakes.

"Oh, there you two are, how did the shopping go?"

"Just fine, and we even met more of your friends", said Ego.

"That's great, who did you meet?"

"Well, we met walking pride parade, and we also met southern stereotype." Twilight looked at Jon with a quizzical expression.

"He means Applejack and Rainbow dash. They looked like nice ponies."

"Oh, well it's good to hear you two are getting along with my friends. Now we just need to make a stop at Carousel Boutique to drop off a new book for Rarity, then we're done." Twilight trotted out of Sugarcube Corner as Jon and Ego followed right behind.

"So what's a boutique anyway, Arin?"

"It's like a dress shop."

"Yeah, you know what else is like a dress shop?"

"What?"

"A sharp dressed man." Jon gave three very loud claps as Ego chuckled. Twilight just rolled her eyes at the two silly ponies. All three of them finally made it to Rarity's shop and entered with the sound of a bell chime.

"I'll be there in a minute", said a feminine voice in another room. Ego walked away from Jon and Twilight as Rarity walked out of another room.

"Oh Twilight, I was expecting you", said Rarity.

"OH, IT'S A MARSHMALLOW PONY!", yelled out Jon. Rarity and Twilight looked at Jon with a look of pure shock. after a few moments Rarity let out a cough and said "Who is your, strange, friend, dear?"

"This is Jontron and the pony behind you is Egoraptor."

"Well it's nice to meet friends of Twilight. Anyway Twilight, did you find that new book I was looking for."

"Yes, it's right here." Twilight used her magic to levitate out a book with the title "The Dress Makers History Guide: Part 3 Color and Animal Patterns".

"Oh, thank you so much Twilight. My intuition tells me that fire pattern saddles are going to be in this month, and I want to be ready."

"I never thought this place could get any more girly", said Ego

"Could you be any ruder?", said Jon

"Yeah " Ego said as he made a loud fart sound and lifted one of his back legs. "Right in your face."

"I'm legitimately sorry for my friend, he's from a different time."

"It's quite alright, Jontron, a lady like myself sees all kinds of strange people come into this store. He just might like Pinkie pie."

"Well, it's getting late. Jon and Ego, we should head back home."

"Okay, I'm getting tired anyway", said Ego with a yawn.

"Nice to meet you, Rarity", said Jon as he gave a wave before leaving.The three of them came to the library which was for some reason, completely dark.

"Spike must have gone over to play with Apple Bloom."

"Oh, do they have a little thing going on. A little Nick knack patty whack still riding catelacks?"

"Um, well they're both old enough to be special someponies, but Spike really only feels that way about Rarity."

"He wants to get in the non-existent pants of that marshmallow", said Jon

"Well, at least he has high hopes", said Ego.

Twilight used her magic to open the door and all three of them entered the pitch black library. She then used her magic to get the lights when all of a sudden the whole room was filled with everypony in town. All of them yelled out "SURPRISE". confetti sprang from everywhere.

"Yay, whatarewecelebrating.", said Ego in a rush.

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, we met yesterday. I threw a special party just for you two. How do you like your welcome to Ponyville party."

"It's... Nice"

"Well duh, of course it's nice, parties are always nice no matter who you are and since I saw you two yesterday I knew that you two were new because I know everypony and I mean everypony in ponyville and since you two were new I had to throw you a welcome to ponyville party and invite everypony here."

"WE GET IT! YOU'RE A PONY!" Ego slapped Jon upside his head.

"What he means is, where's the punch?"

"Oh, right over there."

"Thanks, now let's party." All of the ponies in the room let out a cheer as the party commenced. They partied well into the night until all who were left were Spike, Twilight, and the Game Grumps. Pinkie was passed out on the couch until Rainbow put her on her back.

"I'll take Pinkie home. You two might want to get use to this because she does parties about once a week."

"I'm sure we can handle a little cake and punch once a week" said Ego

"Say Rainbow, where's Fluttershy?" asked Twilight while picking up litter with her magic.

"Oh, she's in Canterlot helping some unicorn with an animal show. She should be back tomorrow"

"Well we'll introduce her to Jon and Ego at a picnic tomorrow."

"Definitely, but for now me and Pinkie are turning in. See you tomorrow Jon and Ego."

"Please, call us-", said Ego as he looked at Jon, both gave a nod and said "-THE GAME GRUMPS." Rainbow gave a raised eyebrow to both of them and then let out a small chuckle.

"Okay then, uh, 'Game Grumps' see you two tomorrow." she made her way out the door, as Ego went upstairs with Twilight and Jon hopped on the couch.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile. in a deep and dark cave in a far away land. There can be heard the sound of thousands of insect like creatures all over the cave. Two bright and green eyes can be seen in the distance, breaking through the dark cave.

"Don't you worry my babies. Soon, Canterlot will be ours, and then, all of Equestria."
Said a feminine voice followed by an evil laugh.

a very grump wedding part 1.

Jon and Arin were sitting on the couch, pretending to watch television, Twilight trotted into the room to see the both of them looking at a fox that had broken into the house.

"I'm sick of Fox, let's do something else," said Jon, as Arin let the fox out of the house.

"How did a fox get in my house?" Twilight asked in deadpan.

"We let it in because we were bored," nonchalantly replied Arin.

"Have you even tried talking to somepony?" she wondered, letting the fox incident slide.

"I guess we did not think about that," said Jon sincerely.

"How about we go talk to some of the ponies we met yesterday?" suggested Arin, his face shining at the prospect of doing something.

"Well, there is that picnic we were talking about yesterday. You two can also meet Fluttershy, though it might take some time
for her to warm up to you two, she's a little shy."

"Gee, I would have never guessed," said Arin sarcastically.

"I'm sure you three will get along just fine."

"So, when is this picnic?" asked Jon.

"Actually, I was just about to head over there."

"Well then, what are we waiting for then?" Arin said, quickly getting on his hooves. "Let's go have a picnic."

"Alright then, let's go." the Grumps nodded and followed Twilight out of the house. It was still early in the morning, about maybe ten in the morning. All three of them made it to the clearing where the rest of Twilight's friends seemed to be setting up a blanket. Noticing Twilight and the GameGrumps, the group waved them hi.

"Howdy there you three," greeted them Applejack.

"Hey there, girls," said Twilight in return.

"Now that that's out of the way, let's eat.", said Ego, already eyeing the food.

"Hold on you two, while we set up why don't you two introduce yourself to Fluttershy."

"Okay, but it may take a while considering she is hiding behind the drama queen," said Jon, as he pointed at Rarity.

Fluttershy doing just as Not so Grump had said, putting her head deep into Rarity's shoulder. Rarity moved to the side as Fluttershy got up and hid her head behind her mane. Jon and Ego went up to her, the shy pony trying to desperately look away from the pair.

"Hi, I'm Jon, and this handsome fellow here is Ego, but you can call him Arin, you must be Fluttershy."

"Um.... H-hello," said Fluttershy with a barely audible voice.

"Huh?" said John as he got closer and held his ear up.

"I... I said hi."

"Huh?" he repeated as he held his his ear even closer to Fluttershy.

"You.... You're getting a bit close."

"Speak up." Jon had his ear right up to Fluttershy's mouth. Fluttershy let out a small squeak and started to blush as he felt her lips press up against Jon's ear.

"Well, anyway, it's nice to meet you, and we hope to be good friends with you," both Jon and Ego sat down near the blanket and looked at the spread of the food available. The group started digging into the food, Fluttershy sporadically grabbing some food and then hiding behind one of her friends.

"So, how long have you two known the princess?", asked Twilight, breaking the silence.

"Oh, uh about three years. We met her at a dance," lied Ego.

"You mean the Grand Galloping Gala?"

"Yeah, that." Jon responded instead.

"We got invited because we are huge internet celebrities.... That sounded really pretentious."

"Come on! You know we're used to being the funniest mother fuckers in the world!" Jon cheerfully chimed in.

"What the hay is an internet?" asked Applejack confused.

Both Ego and Jon remained silent, unable to respond further, they looked at each other, hoping that an answer would pop up. To their fortune, the sound of Spike running towards them caused the awkward atmosphere to clear as the group focused in the tired dragon.. "Give me a second," said a winded Spike. Finally catching his breath, a letter came bursting out of his mouth.

"Wow, he must have some serious indigestion problem," joked Ego."Anyway, what does it say, Twilight?" he asked with interest,

"Dear Twilight, I'm sure you are as interested as I am in the royal wedding..... Wedding?" she began, her eyes showing her confusion.

"Speaking of weddings, you and the goos have been engaged for how long?"

"Not now Jon, I'm listening." Jon huffed but stopped his rambling.

"I will be presiding over the wedding as usual, but I want you and your friends to help out with the wedding preparations. Fluttershy, I want you and your song bird choir to provide the music. Pinkie Pie, I can think of no one more qualified then you to plan the wedding reception. Applejack, you will be in charge of the catering. Rainbow Dash, I would love it if you performed a Sonic Rainboom as the bride and groom complete their vows. Rarity, you will be in charge of making the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids. Jon and Arin, I want you two to assist the girls in their tasks however you can.
And you Twilight, will have the most important job of all, making sure everything goes according to plan. Hope to see you all very soon, yours truly, Princess Celestia."

"Sounds like fun, so, who is getting hitched?" Jon asked, while Twilight examined the letter, a look of confusion in her face.

"I don't know. It's doesn't say anything about who is getting married."

"Oh, I was probably supposed to give you this one first," said Spike sheepishly as he handed Twilight a second scroll.

"Dip shit," insulted Ego in a low voice.

"Princess Celestia cordially invites you the wedding of princess Mi Amore Cadenca and..." she stopped and gasped before reading the last two words. "... My brother."

"Plot device!" called out Jon, while Twilight ignored him, just standing there with a look of shock in her face.

"Tiny eyes, she has tiny eyes." Arin whispered to Jon, giggling slightly at a joke in his head.

"Your big brother is getting married. That' great news Twi!" congratulated her Applejack.

"Yeah, great. Great news that I got from a letter and not my own brother to tell me instead."

"Don't feel too bad, I have a estranged brother as well", said Ego.

"You do not!" yelled John.

"You got me!" both John and Ego shared a laugh. When they came back to reality they saw Twilight's friends gathered around her, all including Fluttershy, glaring at them menacingly, causing the two ex-humans to look away and whistle innocently.

"I'm sorry girls, but it's just that ever since I came to Ponyville, Shining and I have grown distant."

"You, have a lot of exposition to go through, how are you going to explain it?" Jon asked jokingly.

"In song?" Arin added, when suddenly, random background music could be inexplicably heard. "Oh look, I was right. Know what? I do- I don't even care, while she's singing,let's see what's in the basket."

"Okay!" both Jon and Ego walked over to the picnic basket, Jon unceremoniously putting his head in. "What's in there?" asked Arin from the outside.

"Okay, we got..... a TLC, tomato, lettuce, and cabbage. A cupcake-" Jon added before quickly eating the whole thing in one bite. "-some apples, I see a muffin wrap, but no muffin, weird-" he said,as a passing by gray pegasus appeared to be munching on something right over them. "-and balloons." He pulled out balloons, but accidentally let go of them. "Bye balloons."

"Dude, I don't hear any music, I think she's done," both Jon and Ego went back over to the girls after not finding anything good.

"So, what's going on?" asked Ego.

"Well, it looks like we're heading to Canterlot," responded a serious Twilight.
_________________________________________________________________________________________

The girls and the Grumps were soon on a train heading to Canterlot, they all quickly began to chatter away the whole trip, except for Twilight, who was looking out a window with a frown of disapproval on her face.

"It must be exiting for y'all to be back in Canterlot," Applejack's voice could be heard, having a conversation with the Grumps.

"What the hell are you talking abou-" said Jon as Ego elbowed him in the stomach. "-oh, I mean yeah, of course we're excited!" Rarity raised a brow and approached the pair.

"Um... You didn't tell me you two were from Canterlot," said Rarity.

"Oh yeah, we're 'canters' at heart," as the train got closer to the castle, they noticed a giant urple barrier around the castle. As they passed through it, Jon let out a shudder. "Eww, I feel violated. Is my virginity still there... Yeah, I think so."

"You're not a virgin, Jon."

"I WAS MAKING A JOKE ARIN." finally arriving, the group left the train just to find guards all over the train station.

"Jesus, overkill much on the guards," said Ego.

"You can never be too careful Arin. the weirdest caricatures can show up to these things," said Rarity as Pinkie sneezed out some confetti.

"Fair enough."

"You all go, I need to talk to my brother." Twilight began without notice.

"Have fun with that," said Jon.

"I will."

"Then good," the remaining seven ponies went ahead, as Twilight went off on her own. "So, what exactly should we do?" asked Jon excitedly looking around.

"Well, the winged marshmallow goddess said we should help the girls with the wedding preparations." reminded him Arin.

"Indeed I did," both slowly turned to see Princess Celestia standing there with a smile on her face. "I'm very glad to see you two decided to come and help us with the wedding."

"Well, it's not like we had a choice," complained Jon getting a slap from Arin for it.

"What he means to say is we're happy to help."

"I'm glad to hear that. I hope your stay here in Equestria is being a pleasant one."

"Oh yeah, I love living in a world were I can't have a giro."

"He means we're having fun."

"Glad to hear that, but I'm also here to warn you two. There's a reason there is so much security for the wedding. There has been a threat upon Canterlot, I don't know who it is, but I want you two to keep your wits about you, anypony could be trying to bring down the barrier as we speak..." she finished ominously.

"Don't worry, we defeat monsters on a daily bases." Arin quickly pointed out.

"Good to hear. Now, go to the castle's royal kitchen, I think Applejack can use your help with the catering."

"Yes masta." both responded, running off in the opposite direction, while Celestia gave off a small chuckle and flew back to the lookout tower.

After some wasted time, the two of them finally came across the kitchen where they saw Applejack and several other ponies already hard at work.

"Hey there, Applejack."

"Howdy there you two. Ya'll here to help with the food?"

"Exactly."

"Good, there are some aprons and hats over there. You two can work over in that section."

"I feel like I'm in a restaurant," said Ego as both of them trotted over to the section. Their task? Putting caramel on freshly made cookies.

"I have an idea, give me your hooves," said Jon as Ego put his hoofs up. "We can get work done faster if we can move faster." Jon used his magic to spread the caramel on both of their hooves. as soon as Ego put his hooves down he started to slip everywhere. Ego picked up a tray of cookies and tried to bring it over to Jon but instead crashed right into him, causing all the cookies to go flying. Ego slipped to the next tray and managed to get it on the counter just in time to slide into the wall. As he was about to get the next one, Jon took a spoon full of whipped topping and tossed it right at his face.

"Jon, I can't see!" said Ego as he slid right out to the area were Applejack was. He crashed directly into Twilight who was up against a pole at that moment. Ego regained his composure to see Twilight on the floor covered in powered sugar and caramel. "Sorry about that, we were having some trouble with the backed goods." he apologized, using his most welcoming voice.

"I love it when you do that." chuckled Jon.

"Why the hay are you two covered in sugar!?" asked Applejack, looking at the mess on the floor.

"That's part of the problem. We kinda got caramel on our hooves and started slipping all over the the place."

"How do you 'accidentally' get caramel on your hooves?" asked an angry Twilight as she wiped the sugar off of her face.

"Magic?" said Jon, grinning innocently.

"Seems legit."

Just then, Princess Cadence came in with a disapproving frown on her face. "I'll go talk to her, Twilight." offered Applejack, already making her way to the pink pony.

"Who's that?" asked Ego.

"That's Princess Cadence." irritably noted Twilight.

"She looks like a pretty pink princess."

"Two of those things are correct, anyway, she's a complete jerk. I don't understand how the sweetest foal sitter in the world can turn into such a-."

"A bitch?" said Jon.

"I'll assume that's an insult and say yes. I can't believe my brother would marry such a.... 'bitch', as you put it."

"Wait, so that's who your brother is getting hitched to? She looks like what the rest of you should look like, except bigger," said Ego.

"It does not add up, she was the sweetest foal sitter ever and she's acting like such a jerk."

"Is she Irish, and/or on her time of the month?" asked Jon.

"Time of the month? Do you mean her heat cycle? Why would that make her mean?" Twilight asked confused.

"Wait, a what cycle?" Twilight slowly turned to look at Jon, suspicion noticeable in her face.

"Okay, I want you two to come with me," gulping, the Grumps followed her into a secluded part of the gardens.

"Now, I want you to tell me the truth."

"What truth?" said Arin, his eyes shifting nervously.

"Look, I know that you two might be weird, but I know for a fact that both of you should know what a heat cycle is," both Jon and Arin began sweating as Twilight stared them down, unable to handle the pressure, Arin let it out.

"Okay, the truth is that neither of us are ponies. Actually, we're humans in disguise, courtesy of your Princess of the sun."

"Wait, you're both humans?" hesitantly asked Twilight with a serious look, that quickly, grew into a very big grin on her face.

"You two seem very trust worthy, but I don't believe either of you. I want you to prove it."

"How?", said Arin. Twilight made a book appear with her magic and flipped to a random page.

"Tell me a complete out of no were story from the humans." Arin thought for a second about what event in history to tell her about. He decided to talk about the Roman empire. After a lengthy talk, Twilight look through the book and went wide eyed.

"Oh my celestia, you really are humans!? This is absolutely incredible! Up until today, all books about humans were just myths and legends. I even remember one about how we were all created by a human turned alicorn!" Twilight continued in tangent.

"Well, I'm happy that you are happy, but you cannot tell anybo- I mean anypony about us being human." warned Arin.

"Of course, on one condition...... You tell me everything about your people."

"That sounds reasonable. When can we begin?" asked Arin.

"I'm heading off to see Rarity next, so how about now?" all three of them headed off to the part of the castle were Rarity was at, passing a few rushing ponies, to their luck, they were too busy to pay them any mind. "So first off, why don't you both tell me what your real names are?"

"Well, we weren't lying about our names..." said Ego.

"Really, do most humans have such strange names.?

"Well if names like the completionist, peanut butter gamer, and the nostalgia critic sound strange, then no because those are not real names."

"You humans have two names."

"No, it's an internet thing," when Twilight raised a confused brow, at that, Arin continued. "Basically, there's a giant invisible field of information where people can use it to do almost anything they want."

"Wow, you can access information when ever you want."

"Basically."

"Now I'm sad I don't have a cell phone," pouted Jon, when all of a sudden, all three of them heard a ringing sound coming from Ego's ass. He put his hoof down there and pulled a cell phone from a skin pocket. "Oh my god you have skin pockets, that's adorable." laughed Jon excitedly.

"Well sure, all ponies have pockets."

"Wow, I'm getting great reception here, and Wifi. How's that even possible."

"Magic?" said John.

"Makes sense."

"Who is it?" asked Jon.

"It's Barry, I'll let the voicemail get it."

"What is that thing anyway?" Twilight asked, confused at the object in Arin's hoof.

"It's a smartphone. It's basically a small library that you can fit into your pocket. It can hold thousands of songs I'll never listen to and apps I'll never use. and to top it all off this smartphone is also a phone, which basically, allows me to communicate over long distances."

"So wait, you can play songs without a record or performer?"

"Exactly."

"Can I listen to something?"

"Sure, hang on." Ego pulled out some earbuds that had somehow grown to fit in pony ears. "Put this in your ears", said Ego as Twilight used her magic to put them in. Ego pressed the play button on his phone.

"Who is this?" Twilight asked, jumping sligthly at the music.

"Adam Levine."

"Why is she yelling at me?"

"I don't know, but it's probably about him breaking up with a girl."

"Wait, this is a man, why is his voice so high?

"I don't know, someone chocked him a little to hard." The three of them reached the building were Rarity was making busy at work with the dresses.

"Hello you three."

"Hi Rarity, just checking on the dresses."

"Well, they're all done, what do you three think," asked a hopeful Rarity.
Do I look like a woman?" said Ego.

"Well I think they're beautiful Rarity," Twilight praised, glaring at him over his rudeness.

"Thank you Twilight, I hope Cadence thinks so too."
Don't count on it, she's on the rag," said Jon.

"Excuse me!?" all three of the ponies turned around to see a scowling Cadence.

"He said it." Jon quickly pointed his friend.

"Bullshit."

"Not that you three care, but I'm too busy to be worried with the likes of you," she said as she walked past them. "Are these the dresses?" she asked Rarity. As the three of them looked at them talking, Lyra went right up to Jon and started to look him over with a look of interest. Jon finally noticed and looked at her.

"What do you want, missy? You are kind of on my personal space."

"There's something about you I like. Me and my friend are going to be in town till the wedding is over, would you like to join us after the reception for a 'private' party?"

"Arin, Twilight, help?" Jon began in a high pitched voice.

"Uh, maybe we should head over and help Pinkie, let's go."

"You go, I wana see how this turns out," rolling her eyes, Twilight used her magic to grab both their tails and yanked them out of the room. Soon, the three of them were walking over to the main hall where Pinkie was setting up for the party. The hall was covered in streamers, games, balloons, and a music box.

"Hey there guys, what's up!"

"Hi there Pinkie, just checking in and seeing if you need help."

"Well, actually, I can't decide what board games to put out." As Twilight and Pinkie were talking, Jon and Ego were looking at the music box. Jon used his magic to give the thing a cord so they could plug Arin's phone in it. Twilight noticed and said,

"What are you two doing?"

"Experimenting," Jon pressed play and "Somebody that I used to know" came on.

"Oh, this sounds fun. What song is this I've never heard it before!" said Pinkie.

"It's somebody that I used to know by gotey."

"What other songs do you have on that thing?"

"Oh, quite a lot. Mostly because I get pressured into buying my music." The three of them were huddled around the music player when Cadence walked in.

"Is this where the reception is going to be held?"

"Yes it is Mrs. Cadenca."

"Then where is the planer for this party, I have some issues with this." she looked around to see three ponies huddled in a
corner around a music player. "Excuse me, which one of you is in charge of the reception."

"I am, Do you like it huhhuhuhuh."

"Sure, if we were little kids."

"Thank you."

"And what is that horrible music playing."

"It's the Black Eyed Peas," said Jon

"I don't think that would go over well at a party, except for maybe I got a feeling, Try some Florida's I cry." Arin intervened.

"You will be trying nothing, turn the music player off. If I come in here tomorrow and I hear any music you are both off the planing committee," she said as she walked off.

"What an ass cock," Jon pouted, disconnecting the phone from the machine.

"Are you saying she has a dick up her ass?" Arin pointed out incredulously.

"She acts like it," Twilight walked by them with and angry look. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go talk some sense into my brother."

"Have fun with that, we're going to be around Canterlot and explore the sights," Twilight continued to walk away as Jon and ego walked around the now dark streets of Canterlot.

The streets that were once filled with ponies of many shaped and colors was now dark and mostly abandoned, the only lights were from street lights and buildings.

"You know, if there weren't so many snobby bitches, I could see myself living here."

"I hope you're not referring to me,"the Grumps stopped in their tracks at the sound of the voice, and turned around to find none other then Luna.

"Oh, it's you."

"And you two are the humans that Tia turned into ponies."

"What are you even doing here."

"As the princess of the night, it's my job to watch over the ponies, and since we didn't get a chance to talk, I'll be watching over you two." Ego had a very wide grin on his face as Jon just looked at him.

"Well okay then, but I think it may just be you and me because I think Arin is out of it."

"NO I'M NOT, I mean I'm fine."

"Then walk with me," said Luna as the three of them walked down the street.

The Grumps explained who they were and how they got to this world. They talked about the internet, cars, fast food, and video games. Luna actually showed a great interest in these 'video games'. Before they could talk more, they saw Twilight running towards them.

"Jon, Arin, we have a problem." said Twilight in ragged breaths.

"I need to get back to the watchtower anyway, see you two later," Luna flied away.

"Thanks for horn blocking me Twilight."

"Wait,, what? Ugh, whatever! Guys we have a problem. Cadence is not who she says she is, I saw her blast my brother with a beam that made his eyes do this," said Twilight as she started to roll her eyes around.

"She gave him goggly eyes?" said Ego.

"He is under mind control. Tomorrow all three of us are going to stand up to her and get rid of her."

"Eh, I'm in, let's kick her right in the head and ass!" Arin yelled.

"Yeah, right in the head and ass." the three of them ran off to the hotel so they could sleep up for tomorrow.
___________________________________________________________________________________
"HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO SET AN ALARM," said a running Jon.

"I MAKE MONEY OFF THE INTERNET, I DON'T WAKE UP TILL NOON," still arguing, the pair finally reached the wedding rehearsal to help Twilight. When they got there all of the ponies were already walking out with a look of disappointment. Including the Princess. "Something tells me we missed some shit going down."

"Now I'm gonna be lost in the story," the grumps went in to see a sobbing Twilight. Twilight looked up to see them and wrapped herself around Jon for comfort and started sobbing into his coat. "What happened?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say she tried to expose Cadence and it backfired so now all of her friends, brother , and mentor disowned her....... But that's just a guess."

"T-that's exactly what happened." Twilight said through sobs.

"I guess I called it."

"Why weren't you two here? I needed help!"

"We're sorry, someone didn't set an alarm."

"How many times are you going to bring this up?" groaned Arin, annoyed.

"Now thanks to what I did, my friends, Celestia , and my only big brother now hate me."

"We really did miss a lot, but at least I'm caught up now." seemingly out of nowhere, Cadence walked in and started to pat Twilight on the head.

"Cadence, I'm so sorry for what I did," just then, her eyes glowed green for a second and she said. "You will be." A ring of pure fire formed around the three of them.

"Oh god, not again." Jon yelled in fear.

"Why do portals consistently try to rape us." Arin groaned more annoyed than anything.
The three of them were consumed by fire and disappeared, as Cadence walked away with a evil smile on her face.e.

To be continued in part 2

The crystal lovelies part 1

Twilight woke up to hear some strange sounds as well as Jon and Arin talking. When she went downstairs, she saw the grumps playing on the device they got yesterday. The device was all black with a insignia that has a P, an S, and a three. it was connected to a very flat, silver thing projecting images.

"What are you two doing" , asked Twilight.

"We're playing a video game called lollipop chainsaw. It's a game were you kill zombies as a cheerleader with a chainsaw" , said Arin

"Well, it sounds... like a lot of fun." After Twilight said that the cheerleader on the TV screen said,

"Killing zombies gives me total wood." Twilight gave a wide eyed look at the TV and after a few moments said,

"That human sounds very familiar. Were have I heard that voice before." Before Twilight could think about it more, Spike came down the stairs with a scroll in his claw. Twilight saw it and before Spike could explain what was on it, she grabbed it from him with her magic. After reading it for only a few seconds she let out a loud gasp and started to run around the library looking for books and packing them in a bag. Both Jon and Arin were just looking at her run around the library.

Eventually Arin Nudged Jon with his shoulder but he said nothing. Arin did it again only a little harder. Finally, he said...

"Ask her", said Arin.

"You ask her", said Jon as he pushed Arin a little. Then Arin pushed Jon back only a little harder so Jon retaliated with a even harder push. Then Arin jumped on Jon and caused a big fight. Twilight finally noticed and pulled them apart with her magic and said

"Will you two stop fighting and help me.", she said as she gave them both death stares. She put the two of them down. "I just got a letter from the princess and She wants me and the rest of my friends to come to canterlot and she want's to give me a test. And a test by the princess Is something I do not take likely, So I need to get ready. I'll Be to busy getting everything for the test so I need you two to get my friends". Twilight ran off again to keep looking for her books. Arin and Jon looked at each other and quietly decide to run off and get the rest of the mane six so they would not incur the wrath of the Purple destroyer.

"So, there's five of them, and only two of us... how can we do this.", said Arin.

"Easy we just go walk and try to find them.", stated Jon.

"Oh yea that makes sense." Just as they finished talking, they saw Rarity walking by.

"Or we could ask the marshmallow mare and save ourselves some time.", said Arin.

"You know what... your right, let's go.", said Jon as the two of them ran after Rarity.

"Marshmallow mare wait, we want to ask you something?", yelled out Jon.

"Oh hello you two. How can I Help you."

"Twilight Is having a episode and needs all of her friends to come as soon as possible. Can you help us round up the rest of Twilights friend?", said Arin.

"Of corse I'll help darlings. I was heading over to pinkie pies, I'll tell her know to go to Twilights. You two Sould go to Sweet apple acers, Applejack and Rainbow are having one of there barbaric competitions of skill."

"Were on it.", said Arin and Jon as they gave a salute and ran in opposite directions. After a couple of seconds they came back and looked at Rarity.

"It's that way.", she said as she pointed down a dusty road. The two Grumps ran down the road heading off to find applejack.

Some time later, the Grumps, Rainbow, and Applejack arrived back at the library to see Rarity and Pinkie standing in the middle of the tree library as Twilight continued to have a episode. She was running around as shot some quills towards spike as he put them in a bag.

"Is she she still having a episode?" asked Jon to pinkie pie.

"Yep, she has a tendency to do these kinda things every so often."

"That girl needs to get laid big time so she can calm down.", said Arin Jokingly.

"Yea seriously,l this girls a bigger nerves wreck waiting to happen then Tonayo. Do atleat he doesn't have to deal with shit like a giant globe chasing her or a alien invasion."

"Actually she's taking this pretty well, al thing considered.", said Applejack. Just then a bright light blinded the grumps as they felt themselves being chucked into the air and landing back on the hard wood floor. When they finally regained sight, the entire library was all discombobulated. It was as if the library was tossed into the air by a powerful force and crashed back down.

"Maybe we should just head to Canterlot.", said Rarity.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The grumps were sitting on a bench while the rest of the man six were pacing around at the train yard. They were all waiting for Twilight to get back from her test. Jon was messing with his magic and using it to make a ball of energy and a mini wall. He started bouncing the ball off the wall back and forth.

"Hay Arin."

"Yeah."

"How long do tests usually last anyway."

"You went to school, you tell me."

"How has any of my actions in the past indicated that I went to school. If I was on grumps I would be telling everybody to stay in milk and drink there school, but we're not on grumps so I don't have to do that."

"Hey look, Twilights back", said Pinkie. As Jon tossed the ball as he was looking away it flung back and hit Arin in the face.

"My eyes, I can't see shit", yelled out Arin as he fell over and off the bench.

"Oh man sorry about that. Just keep blinking and you should be fine." Arin got back up covering his eye. He gave Jon the look of death for a couple of seconds before the two of them ran over to where Twilight was.

"So Twilight, how did the test go.", said Rainbow.

"I think we need to have a twilight passed the test party", said pinkie as she whiled out a party cannon and fired it int the air.

"I'm afraid not yet pinkie.", said Twilight as the confetti went back into the cannon. "Where going to the crystal empire."

"That sound like a drug reference.", said Jon.

"Well I'll try anything once."

"Come on everypony, on the train." said Twilight as the group got on the train.

The train was traveling for a while until eventually the terrane was changing from grass filled planes to dark, snow filled tundra. There was also a powerful wind forming outside, kicking up all the snow and making things almost unseeable. Rarity used her magic to pull out her one of her bags of luggage and pulled out a pink and white scarf.

"Can I have one of those so I can stay warm", said Ego.

"Yea me too" , said Jon.

"Of corse darlings, I packed plenty" , She said as she pulled out two scarfs. she gave a green and red one to Jon and white one to Arin. The train came to a stop at the train station.

"Dame, these mooks build train tracks fast", said Jon.

"Actually there are some villages out there", said Twilight as she pointed to some buildings.

"Oh, they look nice"

"Sure the real-estate is good, but look at the location.", said Arin as him and Jon shared a laugh. After they finished laughing they noticed the man six leaving the train as spike was caring Rarities luggage. Jon and Arin hopped off the train an were hit my the harsh tundric weather. All of a sudden Spike dropped the luggage full of scarfs and they just covered Arin and Jon so much they looked like Mummies.

"Sorry guys. Here let me get that stuff off of you.", said Spike as he grabbed a small peace of scarf and pulled causing the scarfs to come off and to spin Arin around. He was dizzy afterwards but all the scarfs except the one he was wearing. "Alright now your turn Jon"

"NO, I want this stuff to stay on. it's safe and quilted" said Jon.

"Twily", said a voice in the snowy darkness. A white pony in a black scarf and eye guards came out of the darkness and took off the eye guards and was revealed to be shinning armor.

"Hey it's I forgot to learn your name", said Jon

"Oh right. Between the invasion and the wedding I never introduced myself to your... interesting friends Twilight. There will be time for that later tough. Sombras out there somewhere. We need to get back to the empire before it's not late."

"Then why are we still here, let's get going" said Rainbow.

"Arin?"

"Yeah Jon?

"I can't move, help me." Arin grabbed one of the scarfs and started pulling Jon like a statue. The group was trotting until they started hearing some moaning. Everypony was looking around until a mass of Smoke with two eyes. Jon jumped out of the scarfs and started running faster then he has ever ran before. The rest of the group followed him as the smoke was closing in on them.

"Go, I'll hold him off", said Shining as the smoke started to swallow him. The group kept running until they saw a barrier.

"Dive bomb", said Jon as he dove into the barrier. The rest of the group went in as well. When they went into it, all the snow was gone and it was bright and sunny. Arin was blinded by the change in light so he didn't see Jon on the ground and tripped over him. "OW, youtuber pileup. Can someone help us up?" Rainbow and applejack came over and helped Arin and Jon up. All of a sudden shining armor jumped trough the barrier and landed on the ground.

"Shining, your horn", said Twilight as she went up to shining and helped him up. He had black crystals on his horn.

"Oh buddy, you should get that checked out. Most humans that have stuff like that on there horn don't turn out to well", said Jon. After Shining recovered they all looked out to see a large town with a tower that was made out of crystals. "Holly shit that's a lot of meth."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The group made there way to the throne room of the crystal tower. Every pony sees a obviously weak cadence.

"Cadence!", yelled out Twilight. Cadence saw Twilight and ran up to her and performed the sunshine dance.

"You know Arin, we need a friendship dance."

"No we don't."

"Yeah your right, besides me physique is not designed for dancing anyway."

"Don't say that man, you'r beautiful."

"Thank you. I can't say the same about you tough."

"Oh", said Arin as he pretended to look sad.

"Hay guys.", said Twilight as both of the grumps turned to her.

"Come on, it's time to investigate and see if anypony here remembers anything that can help us."

"Great idea. Me and Jon will go take the east street and ask all the crystal meth ponies. You all decide what your going to do." Before the rest of the mane six could say anything the two grumps ran off. They started going door to door asking if any of the crystal ponies knew anything, with the usual result of Arin actually trying to help while Jon would do general shenanigans and make the crystal ponies very uncomfortable. As they where walking Jon stopped in the middle of the street and looked at the palace. When Arin noticed Jon was no longer walking he went back to Jon.

"Uh Jon, are you okay."

"I just realized that it looks like where in France."

"What the fuck are you talking about."

"Look at the palace, it looks like the Eiffel tower, except made of meth... and shiny."

"Oh shit, it does look like the Eiffel tower."

"Dude does that not freak you out in the tinniest bit. These ponies ether came to our world and told us of there architectural ways, meaning all modern cutler came from these creatures with a possible thumbs. There is also the possibility that we are standing on the renames of a future where humanity is wiped out and we are replaced with horses of higher intelligence that have learned to use technology to both achieve flight and to have magic like powers.", Jon said while Arin gave him the most are you serious look he can muster while drinking a milkshake.

"... or it could just be a giant coincidence.", said Arin while giving a shrug.

"Or it could just be a giant coincidence. You know in hindsight that seems like the more plausible option." The two grumps started to laugh until a purple blur passed them by. the rest of the mane six passed them by with applejack stoping to tell the grumps what's happening.

"Come on you two, one of the crystal ponies said there's a library here and Twilight thinks it may have answers we're looking for."

"Alright then, lead the way reverse cowgirl." said Jon as the two grumps followed Applejack and Arin tossed his milkshake in the air. the grumps and Applejack arrived at the library just as the rest of the mane six where looking around the library. Applejack ran off to start looking as did the grumps. the Two of them where looking at the titles of every book in the library. After a while Jon turned to Arin and said,

"Do you know what where looking for."

"No, just keep pretending that your looking and hopefully the others will find it."

"Good idea man, I don't want to read a fucking book anyway."

"Everypony, I found something.", said Twilight. The rest of the mane six and the grumps rushed over to Twilight. The book was about the history of the empire. "This should tell us what we need to know about Sombra and hopefully how to defeat him."

After reading the book for what felt like hours, the mane six and the grumps believed they found the answer on how to stop Sombra. Apparently the empire had a festival called the crystal fair. The fair would rase the spirits of the ponies and there happy spirits would defend the empire from darkness. So the mane six set out to set up the fair while the grumps would be general dumb asses like Jon mummifying himself with a flag and Arin Getting a armor helmet stuck on his head. But eventually the fair was built and they where ready to start the fair. Arin Saw Twilight setting up a heart statue.

"What's with the heart?"

"The book said something about a heart in the center of town so I made this one from a rock."

"Seven out of ten, needs more Explosions, IGN.", said Jontron as Twilight looked at him with a look of confusion. As the fair was underway the ponies changed from depressed to very happy as they where enjoying the food and activities.

"You know, if conventions and parties where this effective at curing depression, that would solve so much problems in the world.", said Jon.

"I can't remember the last time I was this happy. With all the ponies this happy the crystal heart will be able to help us again.", said the librarian from earlier.

"Wait what crystal heart. I taught there was just a heart under the crystal french tower."

"There is, the happy spirits of the crystal ponies are needed in order to power the heart in order to repel evil. I'm surprised you where able to find it, I taught it was lost years a ago. Mmm, funnel cake." The grumps both looked at each other with pure terror and ran as fast as they could to Twilight who was near the statue. As they where running Jon ran into a stall and came out covered in powered sugar and licked it off. The Two of them made it to the statue and Arin covered it with a cloth.

"What are you two doing?" said Twilight aggravated.

"Book smart, we fucked up!" yelled Jon.

____________________________________________________________________

Jon, Arin, and Twilight where all in front of Shining armor and Cadence who was looking Even more tired by the second.

"I don't understand I looked over this book so many times how could I have missed something.", said Twilight as she was looking over the book. As she was looking she got all the way to the last page and noticed that the last page was gone.

"Oh no, the last page is missing."

"That's bad right?", said Jon.

"Being oblivious as always Jon.", said Arin

"Do you even know what's going on?", said Jon in a aggravated way.

"No but at least it Don't admit it."

"Guys this is serious!", exclaimed Twilight "Without the last page in the book we don't know where the heart is, and without the heart we have nothing to stop Sombra and Cadence can't keep the light and love up forever." Just as Twilight said that, Cadence Collapsed and her magic shield in the distance slowly faded away. The large cloud of Darkness that the ponies encountered earlier manifested itself and was slowly moving towards the empire. A giant face with a red horn appeared with a giant evil grin.

"Oh no.", said Twilight very worried.

"Welp, let's get looting.", said Jon as he ran back into the palace and was seen running off with shining armors guard suit.

The Crystal Lovelies Part Two

The crystal lovelies part two

Arin grump, Twilight, and shining armor just stood there as the cloud of darkness got closer and closer to the empire. Shining helped Cadence get back up and she gave him a smile before turning to the darkness and bringing the barrier back up and slicing the tip of Sombras horn off.

"That may be the largest circumcision I have ever seen.", said Arin.

"There is no telling how long cadence can hold out. We have to find the crystal heart before it's to late.", said Twilight with determination.

"I'll come with you.", said Shining armor.

"No, you need to stay here with Cadence. She needs your support now more then ever."

"Just Rub her head and say she's pretty, that usually works for Jon when he's feeling down."

"Come on Arin.", said Twilight as she motioned him to follow. The two of them started to run down the hall and saw Jon on the right side with a ton of valuables things all over his body and walking in the same direction they were running. As they passed him Jon saw them and yelled out-

"Are we saving the meth empire again."

"Yeah we are.", yelled Arin back to Jon. Jon ran towards them and all the valuables dropped to the ground. "So what's the plan book smart, how are we going to save the day".

"I'M going to save the empire, you two need to stay and make sure the ponies never find out about the heart being missing and keep them happy."

"Why?", said Arin

"Yeah we save the world in games all the time, why can't we do it for real this time?", said Jon

"You do know that's not us in the video game, right?"

"Haven't you ever seen that one movie where they train someone to fly a spaceship by using an arcade game? I'm sure the same principal applies"

"Guys please, I need you two here. The happy spirits of the crystal ponies are the only thing that can power the crystal heart. And when they find out the heart is missing, there spirits are going to be anything but happy. So I need you two to help my friends keep them busy and distracted from Sombra and from finding out about the heart until I can find it.

"Alright fine, we'll do our best.", said Arin as they exited the castle.

"Let's do this. GRUMPS AWAY!", said Jon as he ran off in one direction. Arin followed him towards the festival until Jon got winded and stopped.

"So what's your plane Jon."

"I... don't... have one. I figured if I keep running I would run into something." both Jon and Arin looked around.

"Well since there doesn't appear to be anything here I think it's time we think of something."

"Your right, now howe can we distract these meth ponies and keep them happy." The two of them touched the bottom of there chines as they both appeared to enter deep taught. Jon Gasped and said "I got it, we destroy this place. Now hear me out. If we destroy this place then there will be nothing for that puff of smoke to destroy, then he'll get board and leave." Arin looked at Jon for a good five seconds before saying

"Jon, that may be the single most stupid plan you have ever come up with... let's do it." Both Jon and Arin went up to a stand with nobody around it and ripped off the top and wrapped them around fence postings. Arin took the makeshift torch and was about to light it with one of the lamps before Twilight ran by and yelled out "We're trying to save this place not destroy it." The grumps shrugged and tossed the torches away.

"Looks like we need a plane B, and luckily I have one. We are gonna use our natural talents of making complete asses of ourselves and play a game in front of all these meth ponies. If they are to busy laughing at us they will never notice the cloud of doom.", said Jon.

"That may be our best option but we don't have our games or any other equipment to do a live show."

"Well there has to be a way to make a live show?" But then, all of a sudden an arrow landed in front of them with a bag full of a game, a system, a projector, and a magic generator. "That will work, got a love that malevolent blessing. Let's get unpacking." The grumps set out to set up for a live show. They put the projector up so it would project against a flat wall to a house. They managed to set everything up as well as getting a little bit of a audience going.

"Alright, let's do this, what game are we gonna play.", said Arin as jon was digging trough the bag looking for the game. However, when Jon came out of the bag, he had a pale face on him and said "Oooooh noooooo" as he slowly turned the game around to reveal it was a copy of final fantasy 13.

"Oh god hallway simulator, dame you malevolent force!", yelled Arin causing the audience to laugh a little. "There's no way we can make this game funny."

"Yeah seriously, even sonic 06 was so much of a train wreck it was funny but this is just boring."

"We have to try, we need to muster all the grump power in us and make this game funny. If these meth ponies are not happy then we have failed this place and our profession." Jon looked at Arin with a glimmer in his eye and said "Your right Arin, let's do this.", said john as he used his magic to put the disk in. "Welcome to game grumps where we try to play games except when they play us which is all the time." Both the Grumps did there hardest to make this game funny and for the longest time it seemed they where succeeding. They did there hardest to make hallway simulator funny but eventually the game started to break them. They where getting tired and the jokes stopped making the crowed laugh. Finially Jon collapsed on Arin. "Come on Jon, we have to keep playing to keep them happy."

"I can't play anymore. There's no more crowed and I'm game grumped out.... Hey is it darker is it just me.", said Jon as both of them looked into the sky to see the shield disappear and the cloud approaching the city. "Something tells me the pretty pink princess is as grumped out as me... So shall we run for out lives?"

"That sounds delightful.", said Arin as the two of them ran off screaming in the same direction as the rest of the ponies. Until tehy reached the center of the city has had nowhere else to run. The two of them hugged each other and starred at the cloud as the face in it got closer. "I think this is the end buddy, that being said your still not getting back that game I borrowed from you." Arin gave Jon the biggest really bitch face he could muster. Then Cadence flew in and landed next to where the fake heart was and crushed it. She placed the heart in the center and the heart started to rotate and a bright light started to emit from it. "Oh I think this is the part where the evil get expelled." Then the heart blasted the light outwards and blew up the evil unicorn. "Well they just murdered a man. At least he can tell everyone in hell he blew up."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

The grumps where in front of the entrance to Canterlot with the rest of the mane six, waiting for Twilight to come out.

"So while we tried to make the ponies happy that purple unicorn managed to find the heart?", asked Arin.

"Well it clearly wasn't that evil unicorns heart.", said Jon.

"Oh yeah, That would be hilarious if Twilight got together with that evil unicorn.", said Arin.

"Yeah they could make it work."

"I honestly have no idea what you two are talking about half the time.", said Rainbow Dash.

Then Twilight opened the door and proclaimed "I PASSED." Jon blew up a party popper along with pinkie next to Twilight.

"Congratulations!" yelled Jon. Rarity went up to Twilight and started to sing.

"I guess these ponies really love to sing.", said Arin as him and Jon stayed back away from them singing.

"Maybe they live in a world that runs on sound of music logic where song numbers can come at any time of day."

"You know what that is a very distinct possibility, I hope we never have to be a part of one."

"Well maybe you don't.... hay is the train leaving without us."

"... SON OF A BITCH! Hay wait for us!" yelled Arin as him a Jon tried to chase after the friendship express. The two of them ran into the sunset chasing after the train yelling curse words all the way.

A Very Grump Wedding part 2

Jon and Arin woke up on top of each other In the middle of a giant cave. Jon looked around to find nopony around

"ARIN, WERE ARE YOU" screamed out Jon.

"Underneath you."

"Oh, hi. Are you getting sonic 06 flashback here."

" Yeah this definitely feels like the cave. Let's just hope there are no crazy glitches this time, I really don't feel like losing my mind this time."

"WILL YOU GUYS GET OFF ME!", said a very angry Twilight. Both Jon and Arin looked down to see the purple mare underneath both of them with a look of annoyance . They both got off her so Twilight could get up.

"Were are we anyway.", said Jon.

"I have no idea.", said Arin.

"Your in the crystal caticombes under Canterlot castle." said a voice.

"Whose there?", said Arin.

"Is that you Barry?", said Jon.

"No you idiot it's me.", said the voice as the evil cadence appeared in a reflection of one of the crystals.

"What have you done with my brother."

"Oh don't worry he's fine. I transported you to the crystal caticombes under canterlot castle keep you out of the way of my master plane."

"And what's that", said Twilight.

"That would be no fun.", said both of the grumps in a almost imitating voice of the evil Cadence.

"How did you know I was going to say that."

"We play games all day, we know Pretty much how all kinds of stories go", said Jon.

"Well I'd like to see you two try and guess how this story is going to end. And just a heads up, it won't be a happy one.", said the evil cadence as she started to evil laugh. Twilight lit up he horn and hit the crystal with a beam of magic.

"THAT'S SOME HARRY POTTER SHIT, I wish Barry was here so he could play with that.", said Jon. Twilight shot at the next crystal that had cadences face on but Cadence kept jumping from crystal to crystal. When Twilight shot at the last crystal. When it shattered into a million peaces, there was a Cadence with a very messed up mane.

"Get her.", said Jon as he, Arin, and Twilight all tackled the cadence before she had a chance to get away. The cadence covered her head before she lowered he hoofs.

"Twilight, Oh I'm so glade to see her."

"Nice try evil cadence but I'm not falling for it this time", said Twilight When all of a sudden She did the sunshine sunshine dance. Twilight jumped and hugged cadence. "It's really you." As the two hugged Jon grabbed a crystal and was ready to hit the cadence over the head when Twilight said "No." Jon put the crystal back and just went back over to Arin.

"We need to hurry and get to the wedding before it's to late", said cadence as all four of them ran off. As the four of them went through the cave, cadence started to sing this day aria.

"Another song? What is with this world and its obsession with music, for that matter wears the sheet music."

"Sheet music?"

"Were the hell else do you think they get the lyrics for this song from."

"Hey there's a hole lets go this way.", said Arin as the both of them went trough the hole. After a while they appeared on the other side of a huge casem as cadence and Twilight flew over.

"Were'd you two come from", said Twilight

"Our parents", said Jon All of a sudden three mares came out from the darkness with big green glowing eyes. All three of them said "You can never leave." When all of a sudden cadence took her flower bundle and threw it past them as all three of them jumped after it.

"Women", said Jon as Twilight and cadence both slapped him upside the head as he yelled out "WHAT, I JUST SAID WOMEN". all four of them ran to were the wedding was being held.

The evil cadence, shining armor, and Celestia were all at the wedding alter with half of canterlot in attendance. Celestia was going over the wedding notes when all of a sudden Twilight, Arin, and Jon all came into the doors.

"Get away from him you bitch", said Jon.

"Yeah, what ever that means. she cannot marry my brother", said Twilight. everypony turned and gasped while her friends just had a look of disappointment on them.

"WHAT, why must she be so protective of her brother....... I mean, why must you try to ruin my special day."

"Because it's not your day, it's mine-", said the good cadence. "- Everypony, this cadence is not who she appears to be, She's a changeling. She is using the love from shining armor to make herself stronger." All of a sudden the evil cadence revealed herself to be a changeling alicorn.

"Well well well, looks like you four figured me out, to bad your to late to stop me. shining armor is completely under my control and my changeling army is already breaking threw the barrier as we speak. in a matter of minuets the barrier will be down and my army will suck out every last ounce of love that this pathetic kingdom has. First canterlot, and then all of equestria, and no one can stop."

"Okay first of all I don't even want to know where your sucking that love from. and second can you keep showing us how much of a stereotypical villain you are by monologue some more", said Arin.

"SILENCE", yelled Chrysalis as both Jon and Arins mane flew back and stayed in a straight line until they stroked it back down.

"I'm afraid you made one mistake. Now that you have so foolishly revealed yourself to me, You have lost your element of surprise, and as the princess of this kingdom, it'a my job to defend my kingdom from monsters like you and to stop you", said Celestia as she flew into the air and blasted chrysalis with a sun beam. the two of them beam struggled for a little bit until chrysalis beat Celestia. she flew across the room as her crown was blown off.

"Wow, your all powerful leader is a weakling", said Jon.

"Princess!", said Twilight as she ran over to Celestia.

"Twilight, you and your friends need to get the elements of harmony, your the only ones that can defeat her."

"You heard her, Move bitch.", said Jon as he ran out of the room pushing Arin with him. The grumps and the elements of harmony ran through town avoiding incoming changelings. "Kamikaze changeling 12 o'clock", said Jon as a changeling landed right in front of them. Twilight stomped on it and the eight of them kept going. Just when they were about to get to the chamber housing the element, a small changeling army was waiting for them. All of them turned into one of the main six and the grumps.

"looks like were going to have to fight our way to the elements.", Said Rainbow. The eight of them charged at the changelings. Arin was halfway towards the battle before a changeling looked at him and he ran in the other direction as Jon jumped on top of a changeling and started to punch his head as it ran around with Jon screaming "OHMAMA" Over and over again. Rainbow dash uppercut the changeling that was chasing Arin. He then ran up and punched a changeling right before the changeling Jon was punching ran into him and the three of them ran into a bunch of changelings, knocking them over like they were bowling pins. Arin picked up Jon and they ran back at the main 6 to help them keep fighting. Pinkie picked up Twilight and used her as a Gatling gun.

"Hay let me try.", said Arin as he picked up Jon and twisted His tail making him shoot like a gun. the main six managed to defeat them but the grumps somehow managed to get them selfs surrounded. "Go on without us", said Arin as the main six went on with frowns on there face. "Why would you say that, now were fucked", said Jon. "We can handle this, we defeated grantilda didn't we.", said Arin "No we didn't. We never completed Banjo Remember", said Jon. "Then stop bringing it up."

The Grumps tried to fight them off But all the the changlings were to much and they were getting surrounded. "Well shit, this won't end well." When all of a sudden, A Pegasus figure in a trench coat and UK flage shirt appeared in the sky. the grumps looked at him Right before he swooped down and wiped out all the changelings in a second. As the figure passed by he whispered to the grumps
"I'll watch over you guys, but for now, I must kick ass.",

"Who the hell was that", said Arin.

"Who cares, lets just get out of here", said Jon as the two of them tried to catch up to the main six But it was covered with changelings. The two of them hid from there sight untill they were far enough away and followed them.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

the grumps found themselves back were the wedding was being held. they looked inside from a window and saw Chrysalis was standing there with cadence and a very dopy looking shining armor.

"Look at this guy, he looks like he's putting on his best poker face.", said jon while pointing at shining.

"now go my children, go and feed.", said Chrysalis.

"But don't eat to fast or you'll get a sick tummy. Okay no more jokes we have to Save the girls.", said Jon.

"Alright here's the plan", Said Arin in a determined voice. "I'll pretend to be in parole And she'll try and help me. meanwhile you sneak around to the other side. When she is about to suck the life out of me, you jump on her back and hit her as hard as you can while I hit her with a rock." Just then Chrysalis went out to the balcony to see how Canterlot was being taken over by her army.

"She sounded a lot smaller in the plan."

"Okay plan B, We paint ourself black and pretend we are changelings. We go towards the girls and let them free. Then we shanghigh them, and make them think of a plain."

"Were are we going to get black paint."

"Okay okay okay. Here's is plane C which I like to call absolutely cannot fail. It's brilliant and foolproof."

"What do we do Arin"

"We run up to Chrysalis-"

"Yeah....."

"And we kick her in the face." There was a good minute of silence before Jon said

"That sound like a good idea."

"Okay on the count of three we bulrush her and kick her. One......Two......." When all of a sudden a loud explosion was heard and queen Chrysalis as well as all of her minions were seen hurdling away from the castle from a pink aura.

"Well, mission accomplished I guess", said Jon.

"I guess so."

"Well lets go join the rest of them." Jon and Arin went around and entered the throne room to join the rest of main six.

"There you two are.", said twilight.

"Yeah, we were worried those changelings got you two.", said Rainbow dash.

"Well there were a bunch of them all around us, and one of them had like a bee hammer. But then, with all our strength, beat them all up.", said Jon.

"Well the point is that Chrysalis has been defeated thanks to the power of Shining Armor and Cadences Love", began Celestia. "Now I believe all of you have a wedding to get ready for." All the ponies ran off to prepare for the re-wedding. The main six went back to what they were doing originally, and Arin and Jon did what they do best.... get in the way and make a big mess, except this Cadence enjoyed there fooling around. And this time the two ponies in love got married without a hitch. Arin and Jon watched them kiss on the balcony when Jon said

"You know I just realized something."

"What's that?", said Arin.

"Princess is like a king, of more accurately queen, is this world. If that's true then what the hell is cadence a princess of anyway."

"She's the princess of love.", said Celestia.

"I get that, but where's her kingdom." Celestia looked at Jon for a minuet before she let out a small chuckle.

"Maybe some time I'll tell you all about it, but for now I think you two have reception party to go to." The Grumps ran off to the party as Celestia giggled at the two of them. "I have a feeling those two are going to bring quite a bit of adventure to Twilights friends."

__________________________________________________________________________________________

The main six and the grumps were walking down ponyvill going back to there homes. Everypony except pinkie looked absolutely exhausted. They were no longer wearing there dresses as Rarity was caring them. She insisted on holding on to them so she could get ideas for more dresses. All the girls went back to there houses and Jon and Arin went with Twilight back to her house.

"Man I havent partied like that since we beat Goof Troop ", said Arin

"You mean that time you grew another chin", said Jon as Arin Slowly looked at Jon with a big smile on his face and said "Shut up."

"Guys, you got a package, and it's not from the princess." Jon and Arin ran over to the giant box to see what it is. Twilight opened the box for them with her magic as Jon and Arin reached in and pulled the stuff out into the light so they could see what they got. They pulled out a SNES, PS3, GENESIS, and a T.V.

"Holy shit, look at that."

"Yeah it's like were back in the grump room. Who sent us this shit ", Said Jon as he used his magic to lift up small letter at the bottom of the box. The letter read-

"Dear Grumps

I found out were you guys are. I won't be able to send you Home but I sent you some special gifts to hold you guys over. Don't worry about power, I'm sure the power of magic Will help you guys.

Sincerely

BARRY and Suzy

Author's Note

Hay guys, I know it's been a while Since I wrote a Story. Recently I lost motivation to write stores because of the pony drought , And with college I was just to busy to have time to write when I felt like it. But I'm back bitches, Writing my stores. And in answer to who the man that saved them was, Well let's just say stay tuned.