The Price We Pay

by IncandescentSolaire

Rating: teen
Tags: Mystery, Suicide / Self Harm, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Human
Length: 2023

Twilight understands many concepts, whether it be scientific or mathematical, but she understands little about life itself. She questions this in her dreams, and finds an answer.

Twilight understands many concepts, whether it be scientific or mathematical, but she understands little about life itself. She questions this in her dreams, and finds an answer.

The one to answer this question of hers is an unexpected arrival.

Human tag although it isn't human, only takes the form of one.
All warning tags are tagged only because of the conversation, not actual actions.

Published 2020-08-07 19:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-08-07 19:50:00 UTC

The Price We Pay

Twilight found herself upon an open void, a vast open space of nothingness, yet she stood on something. Despite everything surrounding her being dark, she was colored as if she was under a bright light, which she was not. She turned into every direction, searching for something to catch her eye eventually, yet nothing did. She had never dreamt of this before, and the vast nothingness surrounding her concerned her slightly.

It almost felt like years had passed on by, the seconds crawling their way in the steady race of time.

Then suddenly, light appeared. It seemed like it was thousands of miles off into the distance, dancing in the darkness. It got bigger as time went on, almost seeming to be an explosion that kept increasing in distance, the shock wave ever so slowly making its way to her. Yet, it never came. With each second that it seemed to get closer, she also seemed to get farther. She was intrigued by the light, yet it taunted her, not gracing her eyes with the beautiful up-close picture of its intricate dance.

And, with another second passing, it disappeared as if it had never existed before.

Yet, the feeling of herself still getting farther and farther from where she was before, stayed. There was nothing to get farther from, as everything around her was simply darkness, yet it still felt the same. Somehow, she felt like she was moving farther from the void, despite it consuming her.

There was no world. There couldn't even be a concept of absence, as there was nothing to begin with except herself. And, much to her knowledge, she might not even be anything in this new universe that presented itself before her eyes. She could simply be the empty universe. Though, why would she think of something like that? It made no sense, no logical sense, no emotional sense to think of something like that. So, why was she?

She couldn't have been important enough to have an entire universe around herself. Though, maybe it was true. Perhaps she deserved to be in an entire universe filled with only nothing but herself. Perhaps she deserved it, or perhaps there was something in the nothingness, yet she couldn't see it. Perhaps she was the nothingness, and she couldn't see something because she was overcome by nothing?

Perhaps, she was thinking too deeply about this.

She felt something shift behind her, and almost instantly, she whipped her head around to see whatever it was. It had been what seemed like an eternity without feeling anything, or seeing anything but herself. She was beginning to think that she was the only thing that existed in this new universe, that she was the only thing that mattered. That couldn't be true, but it didn't help that there was nothing telling her she was wrong.

What stood in front of her was a tall bipedal figure, wearing a black coat with a black hood over its head. It stood well over her, being very much over seven feet tall. It stared down at her, yet with no eyes. Despite that fact, she felt as if she was being scowled at underneath the hood.

"Twilight." It spoke, its voice low and gruff, a low grumble below in its tone.

She stared at it, tilting her head in question. "Yes." She answered, though it was not a question. It was simply a response. It walked towards her, being now only three feet away from her. It continued to stare down at her, with its two hands that were at its sides now behind itself, holding themselves.

"Do you understand what I am?" It asked.

Twilight, not knowing anything about it, not knowing where she even was, simply nodded. She had a feeling, yet she couldn't describe it. Like she has felt this being before, like she has known it at birth, like she has known it forever but never really was able to greet it. Like a long, far off distanced friend, who'm you forgot the face of.

"You seek answers." It said.

Twilight nodded her head. She had almost forgotten the reason why she had appeared here to begin with. She was confused in the beginning, as if she forgot why she had suddenly appeared in an empty universe, but now, now she remembered. She puffed her chest out, trying to build confidence yet failing internally, and spoke. "What is.. life?"

A sudden boom rang out in the empty universe, Twilight could feel it under her hooves.

"You ask a simple, yet unanswerable question."

Twilight tilted her head, confused. "What do you mean?"

It shook its head, giving a soft low chuckle. "Life isn't just one thing. It is whatever you think it is."

"Couldn't life be considered.. well, a living creature?" She asked.

"Perhaps. Though, I believe that is a wrong interpretation. Life and a living being are two different things. A living being is something that is experiencing its own life, yet life itself is not defined by one concept. It is defined by the person living it, and perhaps that is what is most confusing. Even in death, you still experience life, Twilight."

Twilight tilted her head further, a little confused on what It meant. How could you experience life, if you were dead? The logic behind that didn't make much sense. You couldn't move, you couldn't talk, you couldn't do anything except.. Well, nothing. Nothing at all. "How is that possible? That doesn't make any logical sense."

"Why are you thinking with logic?" It asked.

"Aren't we supposed to..?" She asked back, countering Its question.

It shrugged. "Yes and No. Thinking with logic is good when you're living, but think beyond that. Life, in general, has no logic. No matter how much you define it, research it, or try to understand it, it won't yield any results that you will find understandable. The fact that life works without logic, is logical. It makes sense. How can something that is undefinable, not understandable, and unable to be proven, logical? That's the logic behind it."

The continued use of Logic was hurting her head, so she shook her head and tried to switch topics. "Then why does everpony think that they know what life is all about? Countless wars have been started, and even ended by that simple understanding. Life is lived a certain way, life is perceived a certain way. Why do ponies think they understand it, if you say that they don't at all?"

"They live their own life, and with that, comes their own understanding of it. Perhaps they think they don't know it, or perhaps they think they do. Everyone has a different perception of what life is, and even if you were to ask two ponies who think they believe the same thing what life truly means, they will answer in complete difference. And, even if they were to answer the same? The perception is all different."

It continued. "Wars were started over the simple fact that life is lived a certain way as to control the way life worked. Atleast, their life worked. It would be easier for them to control others into believing something, and under a common idea, as it would benefit their life. Sometimes one deems it necessary for another pony to die in order to continue fulfilling their life the way they see it should be fulfilled. Even if they don't know how to perceive life itself."

Twilight shook her head. "You aren't speaking with..."

"Logic?" It answered, to which Twilight nodded. "Didn't I tell you before? Nothing makes sense here, so you won't find a path to your answer that you'll like. You most likely won't even understand it to begin with. You seek to understand life, but you don't understand the basics first. Where do you think life begins, Twilight?"

"Birth?" She asked.

"Maybe. Sex leads to pregnancy, which leads to another pony being born, to perceive life in their own view, but that isn't where life truly begins. It begins long before the act of sex, and the result of birth. Life begins when it wants to, and when it feels like it. You can't control that, nor perceive it. You won't ever be able to grasp it."

Twilight shook her head once again. "You speak your words strangely. It almost sounds like you're skipping words, or sentences, or just.. complete topics in general."

"I suppose I do speak strangely, and without thought to my words. But, you speak without thought to yours. You try to seek the understanding of life, but you never will until it's too late."

Twilight frowned slightly. "Do you mean death? At death, do we figure out what life really is?"

"No. Even if you were to kill yourself at this very moment, to slice your throat, or to jump off a high ledge, you wouldn't figure it out. Death isn't the answer to understanding life, nor trying to escape from life, as it lives on past your death. You think your life may have ended when you lose control, but it doesn't. It will keep on ticking, and without remorse to your actions."

Twilight could feel the rumble beneath her hooves again. "So, death, nor suicide, is the answer. So, at what point do we realize what life really is?"

"At the point that it becomes too late."

"You don't make sense.." Twilight said, putting a hoof to her head. She was beginning to have a headache, and it was all because of a strange figure talking in circles in front of her. Something that she is constructing in her dream, or atleast, she thought.

"You begin to realize what life is when you've lived it. At the point where you look back, and begin to regret. Not just one thing, but everything. And, no matter how hard you work at something, you will begin to regret something. Those who try to live without regrets are tasked with a near impossible idea, yet they still carry on. Nobody can tell them that they can't live that way. Yet, even if you try, you will most likely begin to question the what was, and not think about what is."

"So.." Twilight started. "You say that when you begin to regret what you've done in your life, you truly understand what it is? What if they don't regret anything? Even if that is.. impossible, in your words, hypothetically what if?"

"If they don't regret anything, then they continue their life until they do."

"But I just said-" Twilight sighed audibly with a groan, turning around and staring into the void. She could still feel herself moving from where she was before. As if she was living the future, and the present was the past. And, now, the future was the past. Isn't the present simply the past and the future?

"You seek answers to a question nobody can answer except life itself, Twilight. Why did you expect to understand its answer?"

"It's not an answer! It hasn't answered anything!"

It laughed lightly. "The price we pay to live life, is to never be able to understand its meaning."

Twilight groaned. "You know what? I regret even asking, just ignore that whole.. thing. I don't even want to talk, my head hurts."

"Then you've found your answer." It said.

Within a tenth of a second, Twilight's eyes shot open. She lifted herself from her position, seeing that she was tucked away in her bed. With a quick glimpse to the window, she saw the sun slowly rise up into the sky, giving a glorious glow onto everything that lay underneath it.

"That answered nothing.." She groaned.

Author's Note

A quick, small story.

There will be multiple stories like this, all connected together. The sequel will come out soon enough, and with it, will come even stranger dialogue.

Perhaps you can uncover the secret that lay hidden in the story? There are multiple. Try your best, and you might find an answer to another question that many ask themselves.