The Chronicles of Derp: An Unlikely Hero

by thatguyfromkfc

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3077

When local mailmare, Derpy, is assigned a mission by the Princess will she succeed or fail?

When local mailmare, Derpy, is assigned a mission by the Princess will she succeed or fail? Is who Celestia expects to be behind the mysterious dissaperance of the element of harmony the real culprit?

I apoligise for the shortness of the chapters. If it's needed then I will put all of the chapters together to make one big story. (Finally finished! Thanks for all your positive comments!)

Published 2011-12-19 23:13:28 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-26 21:03:03 UTC

The Chapter where Derpy becomes a hero

Derpy sat in the huge hall she had just entered. There were different coloured tapestries all along the walls and a black and white marble floor. A brown wooden table ran along the length of the room and was filled with all kinds of food from different places in Equestria.
"So, Derpy." Princess Celestia said "You're a mailmare. Is that right?" Derpy nodded, politely.
"Why are you asking?" She asked. It sounded politer in her head than it did out loud.
"Just wondering." Princess Celestia replied. Princess Celestia was a surprsingly friendly alicorn considering she was also a goddess and would have to go through a lot of stress.
"So how come you invited me here?" Asked Derpy she had been wondering that since she first stepped into the hall.
"Because I need to ask something of you." Replied Celestia "How would you feel becoming a hero?" Derpy stopped just as she was about to have another mouthful of food. Her jaw dropped open and her eyes widened.
"B-b-b-b-become a hero?" She stammered in surprise. Her as a hero!
"Yes...a hero." Princess Celestia replied simply.
"I-i-i-i'm fine with it." Derpy said. She was lying. She wouldn't be fine with it. She would be MORE than fine with it.
"Good. But before you make you're final decision I'm going to tell you what I need you for." Princess Celestia told her.
"O-o-ok" Derpy stuttered still in shock from what the princess had told her.
"Princess Luna has gone missing." Princess Celestia explained "And so have the elements of harmony."
"Do you mean the 'spirits' of the elements of harmony or the actual elements?" Asked Derpy.
"The actual elements." Replied Celestia "And with Princess Luna being missing I think she has something to do with it." Derpy was in shock at what the princess had just told her.
"S-s-so you think N-n-nightmare M-moon is back?" Derpy asked. Celestia nodded. "And you're sending me to deal with it?"
"Pretty much." Celestia said. Derpy faked a laugh.
"Good joke, princess!" She laughed.
"It's not a joke." Celestia told her simply. At that sentence Derpy fainted.

Derpy's eyes opened. Her vision was blurred but she could just make wavy, sparkly mane of Princess Celestia.
"Oh! You're awake!" She exclaimed.
"I think I've made my decision." Derpy said her vision becoming clearer "I'm gonna do it." Princess Celestia sighed in relief.
"I was worried you were going to let Equestria down and let Nightmare Moon return." She said in one breath "We better let you get some rest before we start training."
"T-t-training?" Stammered Derpy.
"Of course!" Princess Celestia exclaimed "Did you think we're going to let you go out there without training?" At those words Derpy fainted again.

Derpy awoke with a start.
"Oh. It was just a dream." She sighed.
"It wasn't a dream." Said a familiar voice. Derpy turned round to find herself face to face with Princess Celestia.
"P-P-Princess Celestia?" Asked Derpy.
"Yep. It's me." Princess Celestia said. Derpy felt like fainting again but tried not to.
"S-s-so when does training start?" Stammered Derpy. She may have just fainted twice and almost had a heart attack thanks to a sun goddess but she was still determined to save Equestria.
"You're a determined mare!" Exclaimed Celestia "But you need to get some rest before training starts."
"Who will be training me?" Asked Derpy.
"I have assigned a royal guard to train you. But before I leave you remember this." Princess Celestia said "Don't give in to temptation." And with that she left the room leaving Derpy to rest.

The Chapter That Includes Temptation

Derpy Hooves struggled through the Everfree Forest. Derpy still couldn't believe Celestia hadn't told her this before she had made her decision. She tripped on a log and her muzzle slammed into a tree. She swore under her breathe. She couldn't help it. She had to let her anger out. At the princess, at Nightmare Moon at the guard who had given her such a tough time during training. Derpy heard a snap and turned around in a flash to see a dark figure standing in front of her.
"Hello, Derpy Hooves." It said "We've been expecting you." There was a sudden scream and the figure turned into a purple mist and shot at Derpy. She jumped out of the way and the mist slammed into a tree and dissapeared. The worst part of being in the Everfree Forest was the fact that it was night. That was what unnerved Derpy the most. She had no way of telling the time and she didn't know how long night lasted so if Nightmare Moon was behind this then she wouldn't be able to tell that Equestria had fallen into eternal darkness until it was too late. She wasn't sure where she was going either. She was just wandering aimlessly around the forest. She knew it was a bad idea but she wanted to find the elements as fast as possible and get back to her normal life as a mailmare.

Derpy suddenly heard more snaps coming from all directions. She was trapped.
"You can't escape us now, Derpy Hooves." Taunted a voice. Derpy suddenly smelt... it couldn't be...no... it was...
"Muffins!" Derpy exclaimed. She had forgotten all about what Princess Celestia had said. She had given in to temptation.
"Yes, Derpy." Another voice said "Muffins." The figures suddenly came out of the shadows and Derpy ran at the one holding the plate of muffins. The pony suddenly moved to the side and Derpy fell onto the ground.
"You can only have the muffins if you leave the forest. Leave the forest and don't ever come back." The pony said.
"Ok!" Exclaimed Derpy. The pony set the muffins down in front of Derpy.
"Now go!" The pony commanded.
"Let me just eat these muffins first!" Derpy said.
"No!" Shouted another pony. Derpy suddenly looked angry. She got the plate of muffins and started throwing them at each of the ponies.
"WHY THE HELL IS SHE GIVING US MUFFINS!?" Shouted one of the ponies.
"I'M NOT GIVING YOU MUFFINS! I'M ASSAULTING YOU WITH MUFFINS!" Derpy shouted back. The ponies suddenly turned into the purple mist that Derpy had seen earlier. Derpy prepared to jump sideways again but the mist just shot upwards and flew away. Derpy suddenly remembered what the princess had said earlier. She suddenly face hoofed. So she had just assaulted ponies with MUFFINS! She had just used muffins to assault somepony. She couldn't believe herself. She just sighed and walked on.

The Chapter In Which A Shocking Discovery Is Made

Derpy looked around wondering where to go next. She stood there for what seemed like hours before she walked towards the moon. She was sure it was Nightmare Moon. She would be pretty suprised if it wasn't. But the strange thing was she kept coming across puddles of brown liquid. It smelt oddly familiar. She had just walked on ignoring it. She kind of doubted it would be Nightmare Moon because of those puddles. It just didn't seem like something Nightmare Moon would do. Anyway, she kept walking towards the moon. While she was walking she noticed something strange. In the sky there were bluey blobs. They were the shape of clouds and dripping out of them was the brown liquid. She decided she would do something. She stood underneath the blob, put her head up and opened her mouth. Small drops of brown liquid landed in her mouth. Her taste buds suddenly tingled in excitement. It tasted like... no. It couldn't be. It tasted like... chocolate milk. As soon as she thought those last two words there was angry squawk from behind her. She twisted round rapidly and saw a chicken. Except... it had a snakes body. She had come across a... a... a cockatrice. She shut her eyes firmly determined not to look at it. Then she realised what she had seen the yellow, animal loving pegasus Fluttershy do. Her eyes suddenly shot open and she attempted what many people called 'the Fluttershy stare of doom' she excpected it not to work but she was wrong. She felt her legs turn solid. It felt like they were incased in stone. Well, they were incased in stone. The cockatrice doubled it's efforts. The rest of Derpy's body started to turn to stone quicker but she had one last thing to try that she had seen Fluttershy do.
"AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" She yelled. The cockatrice was taken aback but soon recovered and kept trying. But Derpy kept yelling. "YOU CAN'T JUST TURN PEOPLE TO STONE! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!" She continued. She was suprised at how much like Fluttershy she sounded. She kept yelling and eventually the stone blew apart scattering everywhere. The cockatrice stared in suprise. Derpy kept staring. The cockatrice could almost feel the anger seeping down for this pegasus that stared down at it. It turned round with speed and flew off. Derpy suddenly heard clapping behind her.

"Bravo!" Said a voice. The voice was suprisingly cheery. Derpy turned round to see a creature standing there. It was a jumble of different things. Derpy knew who this was and she wasn't going to let him return that easily. Derpy went for the Draconequus that stood there but with a snap of his fingers they both dissapeared in a flash of light.

Authors Notes: I apoligise for the shortness of this chapter. I just wanted to get the introduction of the REAL villain out of the way before I continued. If you have any requests for the story or you know who the villain is (it's easy to guess now. Just by the chocolate milk and the name Draconequus.) put them in the comments. Fifth and possibly final chapter coming soon.

The Final Chapter Where Derpy And Discord Have A Battle

Derpy looked around at the place they had just appeared in. There were stained glass windows with depictions of Discord's reign. Looking at these depictions Derpy began to feel sorry for him. She realised that he had only wanted to have a bit of fun. She knew that Celestia imprisoning Discord in stone had changed him. He had wanted revenge. Derpy didn't know who was the bad guy there. Derpy still needed to get the elements and stop Discord. No matter how sorry for him she felt. He had tried to turn the place Derpy loved into a world of chaos.
"What do you want with me?" Derpy asked angrily.
"Well as Celestia sent you I want to trap you, tie you up and leave you here." Discord replied cheerily. Derpy's eyes widened in fear. Discord sootarted laughing manically.
"Blame your precious princess." He laughed "She trapped me in stone and I was turned into the lord of chaos." Derpy suddenly ran at Discord catching him off guard and slamming him into the ground. The lord of chaos threw her off and she slammed into a wall. Derpy recovered quickly and retaliated by diving at him and knocking him to the ground. He snapped his fingers and a rope appeared out of nowhere and attempted to trap her. She jumped sideways and Discord was smacked in the face. He snapped his fingers and Derpy flew upwards and smashed through a hole in the roof. Derpy looked around rapidly for any sign of the lord of chaos but there was nothing. There was sudden flash of bright white light and Discord appeared with a smug look on his face.
"Where are the elements Discord?" Derpy asked defiantly.
"I think it's time for another one of my riddles!" Discord exclaimed.
"Oh no." Derpy said her voice muffled after her facehoof.
"If you want to find your precious elements, then this riddle will have something relevant. Look where you back where you began." Discord taunted. He snapped his fingers and dissapeared in a blinding flash.

Derpy flew towards the castle. She knew the elements would be there. She burst into the hall where she and the princess had eaten. She looked everywhere for the elements but she couldn't find them. By the time she had finished the hall was a mess. Tables had been overturned, tiles had been ripped up. Suddenly Derpy heard a cough behind her. She turned round to see Princess Luna standing there.

Derpy flew towards her house. So the elements hadn't been at the castle. She had told the princess the whole story. Princess Celestia would probably interrogate her but at least she knew where to look now. She ran flew through her front door, literally. She made a hole in it. She saw an envelope on the floor. It was the same one she had received the letter in. It was lumped. Derpy ripped it open and out fell six jewels. Five necklaces and a tiara. The elements of harmony.

The mane six stared at Derpy.
"Wait so Celestia asked YOU To find the elements?" Asked Rainbow Dash. Twilight hit her over the back of the head with her hoof. Derpy just nodded and layed the elements out on the table. The six mares stared in suprise.
"Don't look so surprised." Derpy said. Twilight magically gave each of them their jewels and turned to look at Derpy.
"Thank you for finding the elements." She said. She turned to the door and left with the other mares.

The light from the elements grew brighter until suddenly Twilight's concentration was broken.
"WAIT!" Shouted a voice. Derpy suddenly flew to stand infront of Discord.
"It isn't his fault." Derpy explained "He just wanted to have fun but Celestia saw it as chaos and imprisoned him in stone." Twilight seemed to think about it for a bit before magically removing each if the mares jewels. Derpy suddenly felt herself being turned round and hugged. As soon as she was let go of she looked up to see Discord smiling gratefully down at her.
"Thank you." He told her. She smiled up at him. She knew Celestia wouldn't be happy but she didn't care. It looked like it would be a happy ending after all.

THE END

The Chapter Where Derpy Gets An Invitation

Derpy Hooves returned home afer a good few hours of flying around and posting letters. She was a mailmare. She met alot of people on her daily rounds and she had been out so many times that she felt like she was prepared for anything. But she wasn't, however, prepared for what she would find when she got inside. She stuck the key in the lock and turned it. The was click that signalled the door was unlocked. She walked in and noticed a letter on the floor. For Derpy this was normal she got letters every day. She opened it, as she normally would, and read the text.

Dear, Derpy Hooves

You have been invited, by Princess Celestia, for a dinner at Canterlot Castle. She hopes you can make it.

From, The royal letter writer.

Derpy Hooves started jumping about with glee almost knocking a vase over in the process.
"I'm going to Canterlot Castle! I'm going to Canterlot Castle! I'm going to Canterlot Castle!" She shrieked. She ran outside shouting the same thing over and over again. She stopped when she tripped and landed on someone's flowers.
"Hey!" The pony yelled angrily.
"Sorry!" Replied Derpy walking back to her house. She was going to Canterot Castle for dinner. Derpy did find it a bit weird that the princess would invite her when she could of invited someone else. She didn't care though she was too happy to worry about that because in a few hours she was going to have dinner with the princess. But she wasn't at all prepared for what the princess would ask of her at the dinner.

I apologise for the shortness of the chapter I just wanted to tell how Derpy ended up having dinner with the princess. So I hope you've enjoyed this chapter there will be more on the way soon.

Epilouge

A special epilouge for people who wondered what happened next.

Derpy sat all alone in her house. She was still in shock at what she had done. Discord didn't deserve to be forgiven. Derpy knew that but somewhere deep down she knew Celestia had just overreacted. Sure Discord's idea of fun wasn't exactly safe but still... Now I bet you're wondering where Derpy's daughter Ditzy was, right?

Ditzy sat at a lone table away from all of the other fillies. She had been shunned because of her bad eyesight. Nopony would talk to her or even look at her. Ditzy had a hard time at summer camp. Everypony was mean to her. They called her names, threw stuff at her, pushed her and blamed things on her that she didn't even do. Like the time Purple Velvet knocked over a vase. They only blamed Ditzy because of her eyesight. They thought it would be the most believable and Ditzy was tired of it. She just wanted to go back home. To get away from it all.

Derpy sat pondering her decision when there was a sudden knock on the door. Derpy went and opened it to find two important looking ponies in black suits standing on the porch.
"May we come in?" Asked the tallest of them. Derpy was suddenly worried. Had Celestia found out about what Derpy had done? Was Derpy going to be banished to the moon?
"Y-y-yes." Stammered Derpy, nervously. The two ponies walked in silently. Derpy followed them into the living room. All 3 ponies sat down. There was a moment of silence before the smallest of the ponies spoke.
"We regret to inform you that you're daughter Ditzy Doo has gone missing." He explained. Derpy's heart suddenly sank. Her ears drooped and her mouth turned into a frown. The two other ponies looked at her sadly. They stood up and walked out of the room to leave the now crying mare alone. Derpy looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes.

'She'll turn up eventually.' She tried to convince herself 'She will. She'll show up.' But the tears kept coming back.

Author's Notes: I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. There's more to come so don't worry.