Trial and Error: Second Edition

Chapter the Twentieth: Preparation

Kai sipped at his pine tea from atop his castle walls. It had been three weeks since his last encounter with the three thieves. In that time, Rarity had not been the victim of any assaults, and Kai had been to lunch with her twice. He had also finished his new prototype wings, but they required that he have the couplings surgically implanted. He had designed them in such a way that he could remove them if they became damaged, as they needed to be lightweight.

Usu sat down next to him with his own tea. "Enjoying the sunrise?"

Kai chuckled. "It's nice. So's the tea."

"Just a little something I picked up. I may be a horrible pony, but I do have some skills that aren't criminal. I'm not a monster, you know."

"And yet, you still need to wear a collar around my home."

Usu rubbed at his neck. "I'm still not sure why that is. Are you just some kind of dominus who gets his rocks off on this?"

"Not at all. Like I said, it's just to keep you from running off."

"Not like I have anywhere I need to be. Pretty sure the others wrote me off awhile ago."

"I thought Tundra cared about you?"

"He probably isn't calling the shots."

"Boys!" called Fluttershy from below. "Breakfast is ready!"

Kai and Usu stood up, finished their tea, and made their way down to the courtyard. Usu had put together a fairly nice table for outdoor use from two logs Kai had brought back. Atop the table was a fairly nice spread of pancakes, garbanzo sausages and poached eggs.

When Kai returned from Ponyville, his bandages were gone, and both of his eyes were usable. It was just past noon when he stepped into Fluttershy's bedroom.

"Are you ready to begin?"

Fluttershy looked up from her stitching. She had taken up a needle and thread to pass the time whenever Kai was out. "What are we doing today? I thought we had finished the build?"

"We did. Now we need to attach them."

Fluttershy grimaced. "I'm not sure I'm okay with that. Didn't you say they need to be surgically attached?"

"Yes. But first, I need you to draw out the plans, right on my back."

"I don't know how to do that."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of the difficult parts."

"What exactly would I need to do?"

"I need you to separate sections of my trapezii and latissimi dorsi. I will handle adding in the extra deltoids and triceps, as well as connecting the suspensory tendons to false supracoracoideuses split from my pectorals and attached to a keel that I'll also be implanting."

"So... I'm going to be cutting into your back?"

"And neck. And I'll do my chest."

"And we're doing that here?"

"Yes."

"In one of these rooms?"

"Yes."

"Not in a sterile environment?"

"I don't have a sterile environment."

"My point exactly. I don't even know how I'm supposed to alter them, and I don't think we even have sharp enough knives to do this safely. I know you've done all of your own medical procedures right here in this castle in the past, but you need a real doctor with a real medical license to do this. I'm not qualified to do this."

"I can't hire a doctor. I have no insurance, and I have no money. And I don't want to just take more of yours."

"You won't have to." Usutora walked in with a chest on his back. "I was going through your stuff, and I'm pretty sure there's enough in here to not only hire a doctor, but to keep them silent long enough for you to disappear."

"Don't be ridiculous, Usu. That chest is sealed shut. Even if there is money in there, We're never going to be able to retrieve it."

"Oh?" Usu put the chest down on the floor and twisted it around so that they could see the latch. "As you can see, the locking mechanism is an internal design, so you'd need the key or a good idea of what the inside of the lock looks like to break through. However..." He placed a small wooden stick against the back and gave it a firm strike with a rock. He then turned the stick and rock around and gave another firm hit. "The hinges are cheaply made, so you can just go through those. Ta dah!"

He pried the lid off, using the hinges as a lock, and the lock as a hinge. he spun the chest around and dumped the contents across the floor. Inside was a large stockpile of golden coinage, as well as a large collection of precious gems. "I'm the most infamous burglar in all of Equestria. You think I only know one way through a lock? You give me too little credit."

"This is all well and good," said Kai, kicking a coin back onto the pile. "But there's another problem. I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Start anywhere," encouraged Fluttershy. "You can tell us."

"No, I mean with holding up a doctor. I'm not capable of holding them to my will without keeping them under lock and key, especially if during the procedure, my flesh is open. I can't stongarm them if I'm bleeding everywhere."

"I have a solution to that problem, too."

"And what exactly would you suggest, Usu?"

Kai made his way into town under cover of darkness. Usu was following close behind him, uncloaked. Kai carried with him the implants he had built, as well as twice the amount of gold coins Usu had recommended. Usu carried with him his sabre. While Kai was certain that Usu posed no threat to him, he was uneasy with threatening the doctor.

The two entered the hospital and approached the receptionist. "Excuse me young miss," said Usu in his most urgent voice. "But my friend here is injured. We need to see a surgeon right away!"

"Of course, right this way." The receptionist stood and rushed them to an exam room. As Kai sat down, she ran off to fetch a doctor.

"That seemed way too easy," said Kai, his brow furrowing.

"Since most ponies are treated well by the egalitarian system, and the healthcare is basically universal, it's fairly easy to cause a small panic. It's useful for passing through without any questions asked, but you can easily abuse this, so do so sparingly. Overuse will certainly change things."

"Right. Rest assured, I'm not going to overuse this. It's unlikely I'll ever use it after tonight."

"Of course, if you do break it, we'll find another way through."

The doctor walked through the door. "What seems to be the problem, sirs?"

Usu closed the door. "You're going to fix my brothers shoulders. He has a diagram for you to follow. You're also going to do it all under the table. No paperwork, am I clear?"

"Are you suggesting that I perform an unlisted surgery? I could lose my job, or worse, my license to practice!"

"We're willing to pay," Said Kai, dumping the sack of coins on the table. "We won't tell anypony that you did this, as long as you keep your mouth shut. Deal?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't take on that risk."

As the doctor turned to walk out of the room, Usu drew his blade. "I didn't ask if you would do it. I told you you that you were going to." He held his blade to the doctor's neck. "If you do the surgery, you won't be harmed. Of that, you can be sure."

The doctor was sweating now. "Alright, alright, just... Put away your blade. I'll do it."