Paroled

by Minty Sundae

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Luster Dawn, Cozy Glow
Length: 5306

After a century of confinement, the world is unleashed on an unsuspecting Cozy Glow.

After a century of confinement, Cozy Glow is unleashed on an unsuspecting world the world is unleashed on an unsuspecting Cozy Glow.

Cozy Glow group contest entry. As such, this story probably contains Cozy Glow. Let me check the character tags to confirm that...

Prompt: They’d set her free. They’d told her she deserved another chance. She didn’t know what being reformed meant, though, in a world where the heroes crushed the wrong-doers with overwhelming force.

Published 2020-08-24 04:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-08-24 04:10:00 UTC

Chapter 1

In many ways, Luster Dawn’s life had mirrored Twilight Sparkle’s. Under the guidance of an alicorn mentor, she’d transitioned from being a loner with no desire to have friends into a having a tight friendship with five other ponies. While the Elements of Harmony had long since been destroyed by King Sombra, that hadn’t stopped Twilight Sparkle from dispatching her to resolve friendship disputes.

The term ‘friendship disputes’ had been broadly defined to include such disparate incidents as ‘monster attacks’, ‘megalomaniacs bent on world domination’, and everything in between. Sometimes it had even truly involved resolving a dispute between friends, though that tended to be the exception, not the norm.

For the better part of a decade she and her friends had been Equestria’s first line of defense.

There were differences between her and Twilight, of course. Not the least of which was that despite being a gifted mage, Luster had never unlocked the secret to ascension. Time continuously marched on, and she’d eventually been replaced with a younger protégé. Now well into her golden years, Luster could still feel many of the injuries she’d received in the line of duty every time the weather turned damp. That was why she’d retired to the desert settlement of Mareizona. Not that Twilight Sparkle would truly let her retire as long as there was still blood coursing through her veins.

Her latest project was a doozie. One that would’ve been better served to a younger mare, or, at the very least, a mare with a stronger maternal instinct than a notorious bachelorette. Instead, a few years shy of her centennial, she found herself staring at the object in her living room. A living statue, the enfant terrible known as Cozy Glow floated over a pile of cushions. It was a poorly-kept secret that Cozy had been hovering at the moment of her petrification, and hence wasn’t attached to the statue of Tirek and Chrysalis. The spell sealing her in stone kept her mortal body constantly floating at exactly the same distance off the ground as she’d been hovering when petrified.

As such, she’d been stolen many times over the past century. Visiting buckball teams would often prank the Canterlot team by dressing her in their own colors and then suspending her over the home team’s bench. Other ponies had tried using her as a piñata, beating her repeatedly with sticks to no effect. The spell protected her from harm, whether it be from vandalism or the slow, steady progress of weathering. It didn’t, however, protect her from graffiti, and there’d been some very colorful things written on her in the early years of her confinement. The graffiti had trailed off as those she’d hurt either moved on or passed on.

None of that mattered any more. Twilight had decided that a century of punishment was sufficient, and that it was time to parole the villainous filly. Luster sighed and stared at the scroll in her hooves. All she had to do was cast the spell that was written there, and one of history’s greatest monsters would be freed. So many things had changed in the hundred years since Cozy had been imprisoned. With the current safeguards in place, the wily filly truly posed no danger. Twilight wouldn’t release her if there was even a remote possibility she could run amuck. Yet even knowing that, it didn’t make it easy.

With one final sigh, Luster cast the spell and the stone encasing Cozy Glow cracked and fell away. The pink filly fell to the pillows and bounced off, shaking flakes of marble as she moved.

Cozy quickly returned to a hover, her eyes darting around the room. “Where am I? Who are you? What do you want?”

“Cozy Glow, my name is Luster Dawn, and yes, I know everything there is to know about you.”

Cozy giggled. “Not everything.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that.” Luster smiled. “It’s been many years, Cozy. You’ll find that things are radically different these days. The window you’re pretending not to look at is magically warded. You’re not authorized to open it, and it won’t let you break it. Please feel free to go ahead and try. If you can get out of here, you’re free to go. I’m old, I’m not going to chase after you.”

“You’ve got a horn, don’t you?”

Ding. “Cozy Glow: one demerit. Referring to a unicorn-specific body part is racist.”

Cozy recognized the voice. “Headmare Twilight?” She looked all around the room, and flared her nostrils, trying to catch a hint of the alicorn’s scent. “All I can smell is old pony.”

Ding. “Cozy Glow: two demerits. Age discrimination.”

“Where the Tartarus are you hiding, Sparkle?”

Ding. “Cozy Glow: three demerits. It isn’t acceptable to speak of the place where wicked ponies were once punished.”

“But it’s perfectly acceptable to send a ten-year-old filly there?” She waited for a ding that never came. “Oh, no rebuttal for that?”

Ding. “Cozy Glow: four demerits. Sarcasm detected.”

“I should probably stop you at this point. Reaching five demerits results in an automatic visit from the Royal Guard robots.”

“How long before it resets?”

Luster chuckled. “Demerits don’t reset, Cozy. If you rack up one more demerit over the course of your life, you’ll be punished.”

“What kind of punishment?”

Luster shrugged. “I have no idea. It isn’t talked about. All I know is that once someone gets to five demerits they'll be punished.”

“Some...one?”

“We use 'someone', ‘anyone’, ‘everyone’, and ‘no one’, or 'somebody', ‘anybody’, ‘everybody’, and ‘nobody’ these days. It’s inclusive. The world has changed dramatically since you last trotted free. There are no geopolitical borders. There are no countries. Equestria, Yakyakistan, even the Dragonlands… these are places that no longer exist anywhere but the history books and outdated maps. We are no longer the nation of Equestria, but rather the world of Equus.” She turned away from the filly. “Omni, current map of Equus.”

A three-dimensional projection appeared in the middle of the room, and Cozy’s jaw dropped. “Whoa. That’s even better than the map in Twilight’s castle.”

“Ah, you mean the friendship map. This projection spell was based on that, except anyone can pull this up at any time.”

“But I don’t have magic.”

“Go ahead and tell it to zoom in on something.”

“Current map of Canterlot.”

The map shifted, and zoomed in towards the global capital. Canterlot Castle had been rebuilt, and she cringed to see her defeat had been memorialized in stained glass. “Ugh. I find that disgusting. Just show me the statue garden.”

Ding. The map obeyed the command, while Twilight’s voice once more echoed through the room. “Logging complaint to Canterlot Castle. Please detail what you find offensive.”

“The stained glass window of Cozy Glow, Tirek, and Chrysalis.”

Ding. “Complaint logged. If the Council of Friendship deems your report to be valid, the offending window will be removed. The current Council of Friendship is comprised of Princess Twilight Sparkle, representing ponies. Dr. Zachary, representing zebras. Dragon Lord Ember. King Thorax of the changelings. Princess Skystar of the hippogriffs. Princess Yvette…”

“Stop. I don’t need the entire list. Just let me know what they decide.”

Ding. “Noted. Thank you for using Omni.” The map disappeared.

“What’s Omni?”

“It’s short for Omniscient. You can probably guess who developed it.”

Cozy twitched. “I’m never going to get her voice out of my head. So how does this world work. Does this Council of Friendship run everything or…?”

“Princess Twilight runs Equus. She’s advised by the Council of Friendship, which is made up of the highest ranking member of each sapient species on Equus. Twilight runs everything past the council before taking action, though she does outrank them and can take matters into her own hoof if needed. Especially in urgent situations.”

Whatever Cozy was going to ask next was interrupted by gurgling from her stomach.

“You hungry?”

“I haven’t eaten in a century.” She stopped herself before she could add ‘what do you think?’ at the end. If sarcasm was considered a crime in the future, she’d just have to learn to bite her tongue. At least until she found out what the punishment was. Knowing Twilight, it was probably something along the lines of going to bed without dessert, but there was no sense taking chances. “What does every…body do in the future when they get angry? I get the feeling that yelling and breaking things is frowned upon.”

“No one gets angry, anymore, Cozy Glow.”

“How? What do you do when you don’t get your way?”

“My way? There is no ‘my way’ or ‘your way’ these days. No one disagrees.”

Cozy Glow blinked. “At all? Ever? How is that possible? Like, for example, if I suggested we order a pizza for lunch, what toppings would you want?”

“Pizza toppings were outlawed decades ago.”

“Huh?”

“Research indicated they were one of the leading causes of arguments. All pizzas are served as plain cheese, with toppings available on the side to be added to individual slices.”

Cozy sat on her haunches. That was a lot to take in. Pizza was her favorite food, specifically because it was the easiest thing to get others to argue over. “What if we were hanging out, and I wanted to play miniature golf and you wanted to see a movie?”

“I would go see the movie and you would go play mini golf. Or perhaps we could both enjoy both activities. Activities are more fun with friends.”

“That sounds exactly like something Twilight Sparkle would say.”

Luster chuckled. “It should. It’s the Third Law of Friendship, and she wrote the laws.”

“Laws of Friendship?”

“Oh yes. After fully documenting the letters she mailed to the late Princess Celestia in the Friendship Journal, Princess Twilight further distilled her findings into a set of easily memorized laws that all creatures live by.”

“Princess Celestia is dead?”

“Yes, she and Luna both. Contrary to popular belief, alicorns are long-lived but not immortal. They retired after your attempted conquest and lived out their final days in Silver Shoals.”

Cozy groaned. “I need a milkshake. Chocolate.”

“You want whipped cream, sprinkles, or a cherry on top?”

“Whipped cream. Lots and lots of whipped cream.”

“Omni, extra-large chocolate milkshake, heavy whipped cream.”

Ding. Cozy watched in awe as a glass appeared filled with the delicious-smelling shake.

“Here you go. What would you like to eat?”

“Pizza. Can I get extra cheese?”

“Two slices of pizza, extra cheese.”

Ding. Two slices of pizza dripping with gooey cheese appeared in front of the filly.

“Wow. What is this?”

“Omni also functions as a food synthesizer. Anything you want, any time.”

“And everypon…everybody has access to this?”

“Twilight Sparkle ensured it. No one should go hungry. It’s the Sixth Law of Friendship: Food, folks, & fun.”

Cozy demolished the pizza, and a minute later there was nothing left but a few spots of grease on the plate. She sipped her milkshake and pondered her current situation. She needed more information. “Why have I been freed?”

“It’s been a century. Those that you hurt in the past have since passed on. Princess Twilight felt it was time for you to get a second chance. She also felt that it would make it difficult for you to lash out at any of them for thwarting you previously.”

“No reven…”

“Don’t say that word. Not unless you want a fifth demerit. That’s one of the banned words. The very concept of getting someone back for something they did is reprehensible.”

“The future isn’t fun at all.”

“I suspect it’s less that the present isn’t fun, and more that your views of ‘fun’ may not necessarily conform to what society as a whole considers enjoyable. For example, looking at your mark, you enjoy playing chess. There’s a park near here where there are chess tables always set up. You could head over there and find someone to play a game with.”

“You’re just going to let me out? What happened to all that talk about the magically-reinforced windows?”

“I’m going to come with you. It’s my expectation that you won’t attempt to escape.”

“You’re just going to trust me?” Cozy blinked. “I don’t even trust me.”

“Of course. Law 7: Without trust, there cannot be friendship.”

Luster led the way to the chess tables in the park and Cozy Glow settled down opposite from her. Luster was a rather poor opponent, and Cozy checkmated her in a dozen moves. She played a few other ponies, looking for a challenge, but failed to find one. Her opponents all understood the rules for moving the pieces, but none of them seemed to grasp the concepts of strategy needed to truly play the game. It was the most one-sided match she’d seen since the entire world teamed up to stop her nefarious plans a century ago. In her mind, her failure was the fault of her incompetent minions: she never should’ve trusted Tirek or Chrysalis to play any part in her schemes.

“Congratulations, Cozy. You’ve successfully defeated all comers.”

“Uh, yeah. Good games, every…body.” She held her tongue about her opponents being weak. Sadly, Luster had been the best of them. A triumphant game of chess usually sated her appetite for conquest, at least temporarily, but playing against novices took all the fun out of it. It was a far cry from the last time she’d played the game, back when there were chessmasters who could legitimately give her a run for the money.

Cozy followed Luster back to her house. It was nice bi-level, in what appeared to be an affluent part of town. Thinking back, Cozy couldn’t remember seeing any part of town that didn’t look affluent.

“Is everypo… everybody rich in the future?”

“There is no wealth, Cozy Glow. The Fifth Law of Friendship: Income disparities create envy.”

“The nobles must dislike that.”

“There are no nobles, anymore. Titles also create envy, and hence were also outlawed by the fifth law.”

Cozy Glow paused and considered her next words carefully. How can I be sarcastic without being sarcastic? “I’m guessing that Twilight Sparkle ran into trouble with the nobles immediately upon taking over?”

Luster chuckled. “You could say that. As you said, they weren’t pleased with that. Getting rid of the entitled noble class was one of her biggest accomplishments. They didn’t contribute anything to Equestria, but they were happy to suck the treasury dry. Princess Celestia tolerated that over her centuries of rule because she needed them. At first, it was a way to appease the former leaders of the three disparate pony tribes. Later, because she needed the help after Princess Luna was corrupted by the Nightmare. Twilight, with a vast network of friends, didn’t have need of them and in her usual efficient way, cut the dead weight from the system. Omni, current map of Canterlot.”

Ding. “Current map of Canterlot.”

“Zoom in on the statue garden.”

The map shifted, and Cozy looked in shock to find that the statue of Tirek and Chrysalis had been joined by many others. “Is… is that Prince Blueblood?” She felt ill. Like many fillies, she’d at one point harbored a bit of a crush on the prince, before she realized that she’d have a better chance of becoming a princess by taking the position by force rather than marrying into it.

Luster nodded. “He refused to back down. He was the first being to reach five demerits. He was also the first to reach ten, twenty, fifty, one hundred, and the only one to ever make it to one thousand.”

“A thousand demerits? I thought bad things happened to you after five.”

“They do. He reached five immediately, but didn’t stop racking them up. By the time anyone could intervene he’d gone well beyond what the demerit system was designed to handle. Princess Twilight decided he needed a bit of a timeout. Omni, when is Prince Blueblood scheduled for parole?”

Ding. “Prince Blueblood is currently scheduled for parole on the hundredth anniversary of his stoning.” The image flashed to a calendar with a date several years in the future.

Cozy Glow looked at the date and did some calculations. “Omni, what’s the current day?”

The calendar shifted to the current date, exactly one hundred years to the day after the villainous trio’s defeat. Prince Blueblood still had a dozen years left to sit in stone. Having been through it personally, she didn’t envy him at all. She gulped. “Omni. Are Tirek and Chrysalis scheduled for parole?”

Ding. “Their parole depends entirely on the success of the rehabilitation of Cozy Glow.”

“Me?”

Ding. “Yes. It was determined that you posed the least threat, and hence were given priority for release. Should you be able to successfully integrate into society, the others will also be released from confinement one at a time.”

Cozy bristled at being dismissed as a lesser threat but bit her tongue. Literally, to the point she could taste blood. Arguing would only get her a fifth demerit, and potentially a one-way trip back to the statue garden. She also wasn’t sure how she felt about her former cohorts being left in stone. Part of her cringed, remembering the soul-crushing loneliness, while part of her felt they deserved it for failing her and dooming all of them to their punishment. Of course, choosing not to reform just to spite them would be stupid. Not that I’m planning on reforming, but I can certainly pretend to. At least until the right situation comes along.

“Omni, abridged history of Equus since the defeat of me, Tirek, and Chrysalis.”

Omni caught the filly up on world events of the past century. The incredulous filly could do nothing but roll her eyes as she listened to report after report of countries ceding their sovereignty to create a new worldwide government. It would make it difficult to incite wars if there were no other countries. She could always stir up civil unrest, that had served her well previously. After listening to the social reforms she started doubting her chances of getting anyone to listen to her. There was no dissent. There was no poverty. There was no resentment or deeply rooted grudges. Magical and technological advances had made it so nopony needed to work for a living anymore, leading to increased leisure time. In her eyes, it had made everycreature weak and ripe for the plucking.

Cozy looked to Luster Dawn for confirmation, and the elder unicorn nodded. “The world’s changed, Cozy Glow. You need to change with it.”

“I have no problem changing the world. I just want to change it my way.”

“Look out the window and tell me what you see.”

Cozy flitted to the window and looked outside. “I see a pegasus, two griffins, a dragon, a yak, and a hippogriff playing buckball in the park across the street. I see an earth pony and a unicorn pushing a baby strolled down the block. I see… Oh, I see.”

“You see that sowing the seeds of discontent amongst the tribes isn’t going to work ever again.”

“In my defense, I thought the windigos were a myth. Now that I know they’re not, I wouldn’t try that again.” She shrugged. “Besides, pulling the same stunt twice and expecting a different result is madness.”

Luster coughed. “How many world domination attempts do you have under your belt?”

Cozy smiled sweetly. “Just two. Hey, the second one was totally different. I had lackeys and a super powerful artifact.”

“Yes, and I’m sure you think it would’ve worked if not for the bumbling antics of those lackeys.”

“Of course it would’ve!”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

Cozy sighed. She’d learned her lesson about team-ups: never again. That meant she was on her own this time around, and she had no plan whatsoever. Channeling angry, jaded, discontent, jealous, bitter, scared, and/or annoyed ponies only worked if the masses were some or all of those things. Without that, she couldn’t stir up an angry mob to serve as her unwitting army. Her silver tongue was the best weapon at her disposal. Her brilliant mind could only do so much with her own small, fragile body. She’d just have to play the long game this time instead of letting impatience get the best of her. Again.

Her internal musing was interrupted.

Ding. “Cozy Glow, upon review of complaint A-74561 the Council of Friendship has ruled the stained glass window would indeed be offensive to you, and it shall be removed and destroyed no later than the end of the week. Please accept the sincerest apologies of the staff of Canterlot Castle, including Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“Uh, thank you. Omni, if I wanted to see Twilight Sparkle, how would I go about doing that?”

Ding. “Meeting request submitted.” Ding. “Meeting request approved. Prepare for teleportation.”

“Whoooooa…”

Cozy blinked her eyes to acclimate to the new environment. The last time she’d been inside Canterlot Castle, it had looked drastically different. Of course, she’d helped with the ‘renovations’ in so much as she was responsible for approximately a third of the damage that had needed to be repaired. Or rather, replaced. As a general rule, repairs required having something left to rebuild.

“Cozy Glow! Forgive me for not welcoming you personally. I felt that perhaps it might be better to delay our reunion until you’d had a chance to adjust to all the changes.”

“Probably for the best. Last time I saw you I ended up a statue for a century.”

“You tried to kill me.”

“You tried to kill me too.”

“You started it.”

“I’m a villain. What’s your excuse, hero?”

“Everybody’s a hero, Cozy Glow. Even you.”

“And everypony’s a villain, princess. Even you.”

“The capacity for evil is also inside of everyone. At least it used to be. These days we’ve purged evil from society.”

“So what happens when you get to five demerits, anyway?”

“Reeducation at the School of Friendship.”

“That’s it?”

“It’s complicated. For the worst offenders it can be… unpleasant. Cozy Glow, look at me.” Cozy reluctantly turned her attention to the princess. “I know you want to be a princess, or an empress, or whatever, but it really isn’t all that fun. I’ve had to make horrible decisions, like leaving you in stone for a hundred years. I’m thankful that Celestia gave me one last kindness, making the decision to petrify you for me. Regardless, I’ve made decisions I regret. Many of them. Yet in the end, after thinking and rethinking them, all of them were best course of action at the time. Walk with me.”

“Do I have a choice?”

Twilight sighed. “Cozy, I know you hate me, but I’m not a monster. I just want what’s best for everyone, yourself included. If you’d just let others into your heart, and make some real friends for once instead of conveniently discarded lackeys, you’d be happier. I want to show you what happens to those who don’t.”

Cozy relented and followed Twilight out of the castle and into the statue garden. She’d already seen that Prince Blueblood had been petrified, but she wasn’t prepared to see hundreds of new statues; the garden had grown substantially since her own time. “Oh golly.”

“Here we have dozens of nobles who couldn’t let go of their sense of entitlement.” The princess tapped on Prince Blueblood, but Cozy recognized a number of the others. She’d memorized all of the Canterlotian nobles in the hopes some of them might be useful in her political coup. “Cozy Glow, you’re a better pony than Blueblood.”

“Huh?”

“You’re a smart filly, and I’m confident you can adapt to the new world you find yourself in. I think I’m going to have to reseal Blueblood in stone at least two or three more times before it gets through to him.”

The next statue didn’t surprise her in the least. “Oh, if it isn’t my old buddy ‘Grogar’ in the stone.” She bucked against Discord’s petrified remains, knowing it wouldn’t damage his stony form in the least. “I’d ask what he did, but I suppose the better question, really, is what didn’t he do? Was the new world order too orderly for him?”

“He didn’t take Fluttershy’s passing well.”

“Gee, there’s a surprise.” Cozy hadn’t had any demerits since entering the princess’ presence, so she had no qualms risking sarcasm. Confirming her suspicions, there was no ding. Do as I say, not as I do. Not so different, you and I, after all.

“He did this to himself.”

“Oh.” That’s unfortunate. As crazy as it would be to ally with him, he’s probably the only other being in the world who hates this place as much as I do.

“He was afraid that without Fluttershy he’d do something he’d regret.”

“Whatever helps you sleep better at night, princess.”

They kept walking, and Twilight named the other ponies, griffins, dragons, and other creatures sealed in stone and explained what they’d done to warrant it. She led the way to a petrified colt. “Sweet Tooth. This is Equus’ current worst offender.”

“He’s my age. What did he do?”

“He keeps refusing to eat his vegetables and instead only ever eats desserts.”

Cozy Glow’s jaw dropped. “You stoned him for that?”

“I didn’t have a choice. He reached five demerits and reeducation didn’t work.” She sighed. “This is his third turn as a statue. The first time was just a day, the second time was a week, and this time I’m leaving him petrified for an entire month.” There were tears in her eyes. “I hate doing it.”

“Then don’t!”

“The rules are the rules, Cozy Glow. If he gets the demerits, he has to face the consequences for them. I’m hoping a full month away from his friends and family will make him see the error of his ways.”

Cozy broke away from Twilight, trying to put as much distance between herself and the twisted princess as she could. She came to a stop when she found herself in front of a very familiar statue. “Oh golly.”

She reached out a hoof to her former comrades. She tapped on Tirek’s leg. “Hey, Tirek old buddy, it’s me, Cozy Glow. I know you can hear me in there. It’s been a century and so much has changed. Oh golly, this new world is horrible.”

There was a pop, and Twilight Sparkle teleported next to her. “Somehow I figured I’d find you here.”

“I belong here. Just seal me back up in stone, Twilight. Like Discord, there’s nothing left for me here on Equus. I can’t scheme. I can’t plot to overthrow you. Nopony will follow me, because you’ve got them all so brainwashed they can’t think for themselves. I can’t be me. I can’t live here. I don’t want to live here.”

Twilight looked down at the wretched filly in front of her. “I had hoped that you would see the benefits of friendship. With anger and hatred eliminated, everybody gets along all the time. It’s utopia.”

“Not for me. I tried, Twilight, I really, sincerely tried. I know you won’t believe me, but I don’t want to go back in stone, so I tried my hardest to play by your rules. Oh sure, sooner or later there would’ve been a power play to usurp you, but that would’ve been years down the line. Without an army at my command, I’d have to take you down personally, and I’m just a pegasus. Without magic of my own, there’s no way I could take out an alicorn without a lot of very careful scheming. I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.”

“Why didn’t you? You never killed a single pony.”

“Duh. Killing ponies is icky. Besides, it’s more fun to gloat when those you’ve conquered are alive to hear it.” She hopped up on the statue, posing in Tirek’s outstretched arms. “If I lean myself this way it makes it look like he’s blowing bubbles into my tummy!” She twisted in his stony arms. “Ouch! Could you hurry up with the petrification spell. This pose is uncomfortable. I don’t think my spine is supposed to bend this way.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I’m not turning you back to stone, Cozy Glow. You’ve done nothing to deserve it.”

“But I’m miserable! Your utopia is my Tartarus. If not stone, send me back there. Please. Do I really need to attack you? I’ll do it.”

She flew towards the alicorn, who protected herself with the spell her brother had taught her more than a century earlier. Cozy pounded on the bubble ineffectively. “Come on, you coward. Kill me, Sparkle. Ha! You’ll never forgive yourself if you kill me, will you? Do it. Do it! Do it!!!” Cozy continued screaming and pounding against the force field until she collapsed on the ground, fury spent.

“You’re right, Cozy. I’d never forgive myself for killing anyone, let alone a child. It pained me to seal you in stone, perhaps more than you’ll ever know.” She knelt down and tapped her horn to Cozy’s forehead. “Your demerits have been reset to zero. Go forth into the world of Equus, Cozy. Live. Learn. Love.”

“Go where?” The defiance of a few moments earlier had been replaced with the crumpled resolve of the broken filly. “My parents are long dead. I have no friends, and any that might have stood beside me are right here.” She patted a hoof on Tirek’s stony form. “I don’t even have any bits to my name. Please, Twilight. This is a mercy kill.”

“There’s no mercy in ending a life, lest of all that of a young and healthy subject.”

“I’m not your subject! I’ll never be your subject!”

“Cozy, what planet do you live on?”

“Equus.”

“I’m the Princess of Equus. Ergo, you are my subject regardless of whether you want to be or not. As for your other concern, you’ll find that we’ve moved on beyond money. For example: Omni, health scan of Cozy Glow.”

Ding. Patient’s vital signs are stable. No sign of sickness. Subject’s blood pressure is elevated. Suggest follow up scan next week to determine if this is a chronic condition that requires medication.”

“And if I remember correctly, you were fond of a certain dessert Pinkie Pie used to make. Omni, triple-chocolate milkshake, heavy whipped cream, Pinkie Pie style.”

Ding. The milkshake appeared in front of Twilight, and she offered it to the filly. “Whatever you want, whatever you need, just ask Omni.”

“Omni, crowbar!” Cozy waited and nothing appeared. “Uh, Omni, how about a big stick? Any kind of blunt object?”

Twilight shook her head, sadly. “Cozy Glow. There are no weapons. Go. You can walk into any town hall in any city on Equus and request a home and one will be provided for you. Working is no longer required, as spells take care of everything. Everyone has all the perks of being a princess without any of the responsibilities. It’s everything you ever wanted, Cozy. Go forth and enjoy it.”

“Not everything. There’s no defeated cries of mercy from my enemies.”

“You’ll just have to make do without ponies moaning in agony. Goodbye, Cozy Glow.” Twilight teleported away, leaving the filly alone once more.

Cozy flopped on the grass and sipped her milkshake as she contemplated. She didn’t fear death, but if she couldn’t give Twilight centuries of guilt, then there was no point in throwing her life away.

It was a world where she could have everything she wanted, except that which she desired most: power and control. She was a chessmaster forever doomed to play checkers. Truly there was no worse punishment for the filly than being forced to lead a conventional life of mundanity and obscurity.