Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapters

Crash Landing
Meeting the Crew
Showers are Great
The First Interview
A Day on the Town
The Starting Line
Lunar Arts
Game Night
The Second Interview
A Friend and Teacher
A Helping Hand
Sparring Slipups
Amusement
Farmer's Daughter
The Third Interview
Under the Weather
Halloween Happenings Part 1
Halloween Happenings Part 2
Forest Friend
Hearth's Warming (Christmas) Prep
Tis the Season
The Date
The Fourth Interview
Midnight Rendezvous
A New Skill
A First Outing
Expert Aid
A Bad Day
Aftermath
Acceptable Terms
Kidnapped
Unfamiliar Foes
A Transitory Update
The Frosty Date
That's the Power of Love
A Peaceful Winter Wrap Up
Firestarter
Lost in the Woods
Testing the Flames
A Wintery Date
True Names
A Reality Faced
Twilight's Lament
Mental Strain
Bargains
The Trail
A Snarl of Thought
Milestones
Boredom
Shadows Stirring

Crash Landing

Chapter 1: Crash Landing

I had finally worked up the courage to attend my first ever convention. I didn’t particularly have a huge budget, but I had been saving up for almost a full year just for this event. I probably would’ve gone last year, but, well, worldwide pandemic. I had even decided to try and enjoy the full experience with a fairly simple cosplay. Black slacks, red ‘silk’ shirt, some leather bracers, and my hair grown out and done up in a pigtail made a simple, yet effective costume of the Heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. Even if I was slightly shorter and not nearly as ripped as Ranma, my hair was perfectly black and with a touch of makeup I could even pass as Asian if no one looked too hard.

I was alone, but that didn’t hamper my enjoyment of flitting from stand to stand, purchasing things that particularly caught my interest and attending panels. The first day of the convention was winding down and I was about to return to the hotel room I was staying at when a voice called out to me.

“Hello there, stranger!” I turned to see a man dressed as the Resident Evil 4 merchant. Now, I was no stranger to fanfiction, having poured more hours than I could remember reading and writing all kinds of fanfiction. I had, over the course of my reading, come across a handful of Displaced stories, but thought nothing of what I believed to be a well made costume. Oh boy, if only I had been a bit more paranoid. Well, to be honest, if I knew he was the Merchant, I still would’ve probably done the same thing. Only much more eagerly.

“Greetings, stranger,” I greeted in return, “What are you selling?” The man chuckled.

“I might have something that’ll enhance your costume, for a price,” He pulled out what looked like an exact replica of the dragon shirt Ranma had worn during the duel with the Golden Pair, “You can hold it, if you like, get a feel for the quality.”

I accepted the offer and felt the fabric in my hands. I was no tailor, but even I could tell the quality of the shirt. I looked up to ask for a price when I was suddenly overcome by a curious falling sensation.

Twilight Sparkle was curled up in her favorite loveseat with a good book. Spike was with Rarity in the gem caves and Starlight was with Trixie doing something or other. Truly, this was bliss. Of course, no good thing could last and this proved itself once again and a loud crash was heard and something fell through the roof of the library.

“What in Equestria?!” Twilight exclaimed in surprise. The dust settled to reveal what looked to be a teenage girl, but there were a few odd things about her. For one she was clearly not a pony. Twilight almost thought she was from Sunset’s world, but something about that assumption felt off to the purple Alicorn.

Of course, all that musing took a backseat when Twilight realized that this person, whoever she was, had just crashed through her roof after an unknown fall. She sprang into action, first sending small pulses of magic to each of her friends to let them know they were needed and then running the gamut of first aid spells she knew.

Once she was reasonably sure the stranger wasn’t about to immediately expire on her library floor, Twilight set up her unexpected visitor in a guest room and went to fetch Dr. Horse and Nurse Redheart.

I was no stranger to splitting headaches. I used to suffer migraines when I was younger. Still, the headache I awoke to was a solid 8 in the grand scheme of things. Thankfully, even as I shook of the last vestiges of unconsciousness, the headache was receding. While my eyes were closed, I took stock of the situation. I went to a con, I met a man in a suspiciously well made Merchant “costume”, I was offered a piece of apparel for my cosplay outfit, and now I was in a bed with no memory of how I got there. A quick tensing of my muscles to check let me know I was definitely not in my old body.

“Feck, I got ganked by the Merchant,” I swore in a distinctly feminine voice. That struck me as odd, seeing as I was had been dressed as male Ranma, so either the Merchant was playing with me twice over or I had the Jusenkyo Curse. I was fine either way.

“Oh! You’re awake!” I cracked an eye open. Unless my eyes deceived me, sitting in a chair next to the bed I was in was a sinfully adorable anthro Fluttershy. She was wearing a light green blouse and even had a cute red beret on her head, “I should tell Twilight!”

She was out the door before I could get a word in edgewise. As I lay there waiting for Fluttershy to return with Purple Smart, I couldn’t help but wonder what I had done to deserve such a wonderful thing happening to me. I got turned into Ranma Saotome. Curse or no curse, that was already a ten out of ten on a list of greatest things that could’ve happened to me. I was in Equestria. That on its own was a spectacular turn of events I could have only dreamed about previously. Add in the fact that, if this Fluttershy was anything to go on, they weren’t quadruped ponies but attractive anthros and I was seriously wondering if I had died and this was some kind of Heavenly paradise.

“Hello? Are you still awake?” The cautious voice of Twilight Sparkle asked as she and Fluttershy returned to the room. Whatever time it was, Twilight looked like she had just been woken from her sleep, as she was wearing a snug gray t-shirt and blue sweat pants. As if the crystalline environment around my bed hadn’t clued me in, the wings and horn on Purple Smart made it clear this was probably post Tirek’s attack, even if I still didn’t know when exactly on the show timeline this was.

“If I’m not awake, I’m doing a very good impression of it,” I snarked. Fluttershy giggled while Twilight rolled her eyes, “So, how’d I wind up here?”

“I was hoping you could tell me. You did kind of just crash through my roof,” Twilight informed me.

“Oh…sorry ‘bout that,” I felt compelled to apologize. Fluttershy’s eyes lit up and I had a fair guess as to why. I hadn’t even intentionally used the phrase, but I’d flip out too if I met someone who looked and sounded exactly like a fictional character I liked…it was then I realized just how much trouble I was in. I was going to be surrounded by attractive anthro versions of some of my favorite “fictional” characters. I just had to play it cool. How hard could that be? I was so screwed…

“Well, seeing how you aren’t a Pegasus, I highly doubt you got there under your own power, so you don’t have to apologize for anything. Well, first things first, let’s introduce ourselves. I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship,” Twilight started the introductions.

“I’m Fluttershy,” Fluttershy’s voice held a note of cautious optimism. I really didn’t want to disappoint her by telling her I wasn’t the real Ranma, but I wasn’t dumb enough to lie to her about it either.

“My name is… My name… Feck,” I swore, “I can’t remember my name. That’s frustrating; I remember quite liking my name.”

“That’s awful! Is there anything else you don’t remember?” Twilight asked worriedly.

“Well, let’s do a quick status check. I was born in Pleasant Grove, Utah. My parents were Ruth and Steve Green. Well there’s my family name, at least. I had six younger siblings. I remember all my passwords. Yeah, I think the only thing I don’t remember is my given name,” That was very strange to me.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of selective amnesia quite that selective before,” Twilight remarked, “Is there anything you’d like us to call you for now?”

“Get me a cup of hot and cold water and I might have an answer for that,” Twilight was mystified by my answer, but Fluttershy looked to be doing her best silent Pinkie Pie impression. A moment later and I had the requested cups of water, “Well, here goes nothing.” And I splashed myself with the hot water.

The transformation was almost instantaneous, but the feeling of it was just so strange I don’t quite know how to express it. The closest I can come to describing it without spending years on a language arts degree is that I felt like I was being stretched and squished at the same time. It was also very strange to suddenly gain several inches of height and for the world to suddenly shift ever so slightly in color.

“Alright, until I can think of something cleverer, you can call me Ranma,” I decided as I splashed myself with cold water and Fluttershy squealed happily. Twilight looked like she was about to pop a blood vessel or two, so decided to tackle the lesser of the two quandaries before her.

“Uh, Fluttershy, why are you acting like Pinkie Pie the time she drank non-decaf?” Twilight asked.

“I believe I may have an answer to that. If I play my cards right, I might even be able to squeeze in an explanation of how I got here. What say you both?” I asked pleasantly. Fluttershy meekly nodded and Twilight sighed.

“Alright, let’s hear it,” She said as she crossed her arms under her chest.

“OK, so a preface, do you know Multiverse Theory, Twilight?” I asked.

“I have a mirror portal to an alternate dimension in my house. I’m pretty sure it’s more than a theory,” Twilight quipped.

“Right…” I probably should’ve expected an answer like that, “Anyway, Fluttershy is acting like a fangirl because I look and sound very similar to a fictional character she knows and I even have that character’s curse, as I just demonstrated. Now, to be clear, this was not the body I was born into. For one obvious thing, I was born a male and will never claim to be as fit as the character I am now. I had the questionable luck of running into an interdimensional being of unknown power and even lesser known motives that may or may not get his jollies off on changing random people into random fictional characters based on whatever that person is cosplaying as at the time and more often than not throwing them into some version of Equestria.”

“How do you know all that?” Twilight wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer, but also couldn’t bring herself to not ask.

“A strange confluence of Multiversal happenstance. I thought the Merchant himself was nothing more than a fictional character. I also have a version of Ranma ½ in my home dimension. As if that weren’t awkward enough, the adventures you, Fluttershy, and the rest of the Elements of Harmony are portrayed as media for little girls. Although, in the show and books and whatnot, you are all quadrupeds, so that’s a very clear indication that at least a few things are different,” I probably could have broken the news more gently, but I was never the most tactful person so even if I felt bad for breaking the news that way, I couldn’t think of a way to phrase it better without lying.

All things considered, I thought Twilight took having her worldview shattered into itty bitty pieces rather well. She only screamed with mind bending confusion for ten seconds. It’s one thing to know, logically, about the Multiverse. It’s another thing to have it knock down your door and tell someone that they’re someone else’s waifu for laifu.

“So people have watched me like I watch Usagi…” Fluttershy muttered with a thousand yard stare.

“Well, like I said, it was marketed to little girls! There was nothing too embarrassing or private!” I tried to be positive. I decided to not mention the amount of smutty fanfics and porny fan art there was. My omission didn’t matter.

“Rule 34,” Fluttershy said flatly.

“Oh…you have computers…yeah; we had Rule 34 where I come from too,” There was no nice way of saying we were probably both thinking of ‘interesting’ fan art of each other if the blush I felt on my face and saw on hers was any indication.

“Why wouldn’t we have computers?” Of course that’s what snapped Purple Smart out of her existential dread.

“The show was very coy about the level of technology in Equestria. On the one hand, you had Vinyl Scratch and her dubstep setup. On the other, combustion engines seemed to either not exist or be extremely rare. Of course, I have no idea how indicative of Equestrias in general that is, but I’m not a being capable of observing and cataloguing and finding a level of commonality amongst an infinite number of Equestrias,” I shrugged.

“An Equestria where there was electronica music but no cars or computers of any kind? I would love to study their technology tree,” Twilight was already thinking of theories as to how that came to be, given the happy smile and glazed eyes she acquired.

“Uh, I can get you more hot water if you like?” Fluttershy offered.

“Why would I want more hot water?” I asked blankly.

“Well…you did say you were a guy,” Fluttershy pointed out.

“Oh. Right. Well, truth be told I’ve known I am gender fluid since I was old enough to seriously think about my sexual identity. I’m perfectly content like this. I’m making up for lost time, if you will. Doesn’t hurt that I’m a sexy little redhead,” Redheads were 100% my thing back home. I found few things as sexy as a mane of red hair. Although Fluttershy’s gorgeous pale pink was making a strong case for itself, “Thank you for the offer, though. I do appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” Fluttershy blushed slightly. Twilight had at some point returned to the land of the living.

“I should probably gather up the others. You’ve been unconscious for two days, Ranma, and I’m sure they’d like to know you’re awake, even if it is the crack of dawn. Actually, I’m pretty sure the only one who would care it’s the crack of dawn is Rarity, on the assumption she hasn’t pulled another all nighter. I’ll be back,” With that promise, Twilight teleported away.

“So, do I want to know why you were watching over me all night long?” I asked teasingly and Fluttershy’s face went full tomato.

“I only came in an hour ago…” Fluttershy protested quietly with the cutest pout I ever did see. Feck, if these ponies didn’t induce type 9 diabetes in me, I’d still probably die of cuteness overload. Well, if I was gonna die anyway, I decided to push my luck.

“So, your favorite Ranma ship?” Fluttershy made a mewling sound in response to my question.

“Don’t make me choose… I love them all too much~” Fluttershy buried her face in her hands.

“A girl after my own heart then. I will also ship Ranma with anyone, given the right circumstances, although I confess a special love for Ranma X Nabiki from my recent reading,” I confessed.

“I, uh, I really like Ranma X Kasumi…” It was clear from how embarrassed she sounded that it would be cruel of me to do anything more than arch a knowing eyebrow.

Before we could start weebing out in earnest, Twilight returned with the rest of the crew.

Author's Note

OK, so, a few important things to get out of the way.

Firstly, when I say Anthro in this story, I mean somewhere around a 4 on this chart.

Second, I have read Xenophilia and very much enjoyed it. I will admit a few of my ideas for this fic got corrupted by Xenophilia. So if you see something you recognize from that fic, I know, I did it on purpose. Shockingly, I do still have a number of original ideas in my head for this fic.

Third, Just like Tom was very religious, for certain parts of my character's backstory to work here, he/she is going to touch on politics. Both personally and at Twilight's request for cultural exchange. I'll try to keep politics to a minimum, but it is a subject I feel very strongly about. Although, just to put any fears to rest, there won't be anyone calling people "libretard" or "conservitard" or whatever it is kids say these days. I hate the Left and Right equally.

Fourth, while this is primarily a fluff fic where Ranma is going to eventually get lucky with a number of ponies, there will be darker moments. I think I might be incapable of writing pure fluff. Recently my respect for people who can write pure fluff has risen dramatically. No sex, no violence, no emotional trauma, just pure feel good fluff. I'm just a dark, twisted mockery of a human being who is jealous of them.

Fifth, this fic is not going to be my primary focus. At least, not until I finish The Broken Series or this fic comes to its natural conclusion. Whichever comes first. I'll try to post at least once a month, but I make no promises.

Sixth, just because I'm using the Displaced framing device does not mean I want this to be a "Real" Displaced story. No crossovers, no vague threat to Equestria, no Void Dwellers fking things up just for the sake of it, none of it. This is just me writing a fic where the person Displaced doesn't spend an eternity bitching and moaning about how they miss their old life. The worst Ranma is gonna face is his/her own emotional trauma. Some time in the far flung future, there'll be a happily ever after, the end. Feel free to ask me for a crossover with your Displaced, but I will always say no.

I think that's everything important. I hope you all enjoy one of the most self-indulgent things I have ever written. And I've written quite a lot of self-indulgent things.

Meeting the Crew

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 2: Meeting the Crew

“Sorry it took so long,” Twilight apologized, “If someone hadn’t decided sleeping on an unmoored cloud was a good idea, I would have been back much quicker.”

“Twilight, you were only gone for a minute, at most,” I pointed out.

“I know, an absolute eternity, I’m so sorry,” It was then I spotted the amused twinkle in her eyes. So, this Twilight had a mischievous streak, did she? I could work with this.

“And how do you propose to make it up to Fluttershy and me? After all, mortals like us don’t have all the time in the world,” I teased back. Rainbow started snickering and Pinkie was full on guffawing.

“I suppose I could dump you in the Everfree for a few months, see if that fixes your smart mouth. I’m sure everyone would appreciate that,” I threw up my hands in surrender.

“I yield, you win!” I would’ve been waving a white flag if I had one.

“Word of advice, new kid, don’t try and out talk Twilight. She may be bad at practical jokes, but she’ll slice and dice anyone with words,” Rainbow warned.

“She juliennes too!” Pinkie chirped.

“Well, before this goes any further, let us introduce ourselves,” Rarity suggested.

“A good idea,” Twilight agreed, “Even if I feel the need to warn you that she’s already heard of all of us. I’ll explain later.”

“Whatever, I’m Rainbow Dash! Fastest flier in Equestria!” Rainbow’s hair was done in a messy faux-hawk, perfectly suited for someone who spent all their time flying at high speeds. Her cyan ears poking out the top of her head were just barely clearing her hair. She was dressed in a sporty black tee-shirt and tight fitting biker pants. No other expression in my mind would fit Rainbow Dash more perfectly than that cocky grin she was giving me right now.

“Howdy, Ah’m Applejack,” As much as the farmer’s daughter stereotype might kill some people, that was Applejack to a T. Flannel shirt and well worn blue jeans, topped with that iconic Stetsons hat. Hey, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Sometimes they actually do exist. Applejack’s golden wheat blonde hair was tied up in a ponytail not dissimilar to the way Tifa Lockhart wore her hair. A small, but welcoming smile adorned her face.

“Rarity, charmed to meet you,” Rarity’s outfit was easily the most well put together of the bunch. The only one who came close was Fluttershy. She wore a long sleeved blouse of some kind of light gray material and matching pencil skirt. I also noticed she was wearing tights. Her hair was, instead of the coiffed version of the show, was allowed to run almost completely free, reaching down to her mid back, if I guessed correctly. Somehow the lack of well maintained curls made this Rarity seem a bit more mature, at least to my eyes. Her eyes held a look of polite curiosity and the beginnings of ideas.

“This is kinda weird, cuz I’m Pinkie Pie, but a different Pinkie Pie, and you only know of that other Pinkie Pie, but I’m going to introduce myself anyway because I hope we can be friends! I’m Pinkie Pie, even if you already knew that,” As an introvert, I was only ever able to tolerate small doses of pony Pinkie. Yet I always enjoyed the small doses I did allow myself to have. The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows was one of my favorite episodes. As for this Pinkie, her hair was done in the typical Pinkie Chaos of cotton candy and her clothes consisted of a comfy tee shirt that looked like it was trying to eat her with her Cutie Mark emblazoned upon it along with purple sweat pants. It was pretty easy to see comfort was Pinkie’s primary vice as far as her wardrobe was concerned. Her face was split in the standard Pinkie Pie grin, accompanied with the cute squeak noise.

“And I’m, uh, I’m Starlight Glimmer,” Starlight was clearly at least a few years older than the other girls. However, the way she carried herself made her seem a whole lot younger. She somehow projected less confidence than Fluttershy. Although, granted, I’ve only ever interacted with Fluttershy one on one in the guise of a character she likes, so it’s quite possible my impressions are skewed. As far as her clothes, Starlight was wearing a spaghetti top with a denim jacket overtop and some kind of leg hugging pants I couldn’t identify. Her Cutie Mark was on the breast pocket of her jacket. My only guess was this was not long after Starlight’s reformation and she was still learning that you can’t just mind control your friends on a lark. Or maybe she was just different from the Starlight of the show and I was thinking about it way too much.

“I’m Spike! Nice to see you finally awake!” Spike was almost exactly the same as his show counterpart. He was a little more lanky and taller and closer in body structure to a teenage human than a small child, but he was also still naked. Were all dragons naked or was Spike just a nudist? Was it a culture thing? I mean, I couldn’t see his dick waving about, so I guess it was fine, but it was still kinda jarring to see all these people dressed up and then BAM naked dragon. I feel like that could be the punch line of a bad joke. Oh well, best dragon bro is still best dragon bro.

“You can call me Ranma. As you may have been able to tell, I’m not from around here. A cosmic entity decided to pluck me from everything I’ve ever known, loved, and hated and drop me here. To throw me even more off balance, he turned me into the fictional character I was cosplaying as,” I introduced myself.

“Nerd,” Rainbow snickered.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is that the pot calling the kettle black? Written any good Daring Do fanfiction lately?” It was a shot in the dark, but the way Rainbow blushed and her wings flared out told me I had hit pay dirt.

“How do you know about that?! I mean…I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rainbow lied with an adorably scrunched face. Applejack decided to take pity on the prismatic mare. She planted a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“Dash, sugarcube, everyone knows about yer fanfiction. Maybe try a username that ain’t some variation on ‘rainbowdashisawesome’. It ain’t hard to guess it’s either you or Scootaloo,” Applejack said patronizingly.

“I’m ruined,” Rainbow moaned, “Wait, if you’re from another world, how the heck do you know who Daring Do is?”

“Very astute, Rainbow,” Twilight complimented, “Ranma’s world seems to have had an interesting overlap in fiction with ours. I might as well get this out of the way now, but we also played a role in the fiction of Ranma’s world.”

“What do you mean, Twilight?” Rarity asked.

“We were apparently stars of a television cartoon,” Twilight confessed.

“Whelp, that’s mah call to get back to the farm and not think about somethin’ so horrifyin’” Applejack shuttered and moved to leave. She didn't quite make it out the door.

“Horrifying? What are you talking about? A whole different dimension knows how awesome I am!” Rainbow crowed.

“You should be doubly proud, Rainbow, you were the gateway drug,” I remarked.

“What do you mean ‘gateway drug’?!” Rainbow squawked in outrage.

“I mean you’re the one who served to bridge the gap between a lot of guys and the slightly more feminine bent of the cartoon. Without you acting as a middle ground, a lot of people would have missed out on something they would ultimately love. It isn’t just you either; your cartoon was a phenomenon. I’ve heard more than one story about how before the cartoon, people’s lives were just empty and gray. They were going through the motions and some were ready to give up. Then the six of you plus Spike came into their lives and suddenly it was like the whole world was reborn! A fanbase sprang up around the show and it was all about love and tolerance. Artists, song writers, authors, reviewers, parody makers, casual fans, and hardcore, people from all walks of life flocked to the show. It isn’t too much to say the show saved lives. It certainly saved mine,” The room was quiet. I hadn’t intended to make a big speech or anything. I just said what I felt.

Suddenly, by some group instinct, I found myself in a group hug. Even Spike was a part of it. I melted. My primary love language was physical touch. Something I was actively discouraged from practicing as a man. Even if it was just because I was female at the moment, I savored the physical affection I was receiving. They were strangers to me, yet with little cause they were willing to comfort me. Ultimately the group hug ended, as all things must.

“So, Ranma, you’re probably going to be here for awhile. It'll take me at the very least a year to figure out how to send you home. Do you have any plans?” Twilight asked. I decided to keep the fact I'd rather stay in Equestria under my hat. No sense needlessly upsetting them at this juncture, or so I thought. I knew full well I was experiencing "grass is always greener" syndrome, but other than my cats, I couldn't think of anything I would legitimately miss.

“Poke around, looking for work, and ideally get my own place to live,” I responded.

“Ranma, you only have the clothes on your back. Where are you going to stay until you find paying work?” Twilight questioned and I knew full well I was going to get read the riot act should I answer with my intentions of camping out in Whitetail Wood.

“I have no good answer for that,” I answered truthfully.

“Well, fortunately for you, I have more space in the castle than I know what to do with. At least until Princess Celestia somehow convinces me that the Princess of Friendship needs intimidating guards following her everywhere,” It sounded like that was a common argument between the two, “Also, I would love to learn more about your world and society. An outsider’s perspective on not only Equestrian culture, but on every culture on Equuis is sure to make for at least some good research papers. That’s not even considering your unique biology! Naturally I’ll be paying you for your time.”

“Room, board, and helping advance science? Why, Princess Twilight, are you perhaps…trying to seduce me?” I really poured on the Shatner in that delivery.

“Is that a yes?” Twilight asked patiently. She didn’t rise to the bait, even if there was a round of snickering from the peanut gallery.

“I accept, but I insist you pay me the same as any other research assistant and not a bit more,” I was determined to not be a charity case.

“Oh…I, uh, understand,” Twilight looked down for a moment, but then lifted her head with a wicked gleam in her eyes, “I understand that you’re destitute with no way of getting home, nothing but the clothes on your back, no idea how to live in a completely alien society, looking like no other species on Equuis which is sure to draw unwanted attention, dealing with your new sex changing curse, and a completely unfamiliar body. You know, you’d qualify for refugee status, right? One word to Celestia and you’d be in the system with government housing and a small stipend. Doesn’t that sound wonderful, Ranma?”

“You defeated my pride…by appealing to my pride. Well played Twilight Sparkle, well played,” Nothing she said was wrong. Her points were well made and irrefutable. In this particular battle of wits, I had come unarmed.

“It’s not like I don’t have the extra bits lying around. I am a princess, after all. Work with me for a few months, build your character reputation and credit, and we could probably convince the bank to give you a loan for buying your own place. You might also consider building a new place. It’s only marginally more expensive to start with, but pays itself off in the long run, given it’s less likely you need to perform repairs, you can add things like solar panels at the outset, and you can customize it to your liking,” Twilight suggested. It might have been my imagination, but it sounded like Twilight still wasn’t the biggest fan of the castle. There were, of course, cons to building a house. Such as the time between purchase and moving in, but I could deal with that.

“That sounds great to me. When do you want to start swapping notes?” I asked.

“You still only just woke up today. Take the day and get your thoughts in order, maybe start familiarizing yourself with the layout of the castle. You’ve been through a lot and I know firsthand that notes taken while frazzled are bad notes. Also, before I forget, here,” Twilight levitated a cup of warm and cold water to me, “Might as well show the others your curse too.”

A quick demonstration of my curse from male back to female had some interesting results. Applejack was just dumbfounded, Rainbow seemed to just be passively curious, Starlight was wigging out over the implications of the magic of the curse, Spike was plain creeped out, Pinkie was babbling something so fast I couldn’t understand her, but judging from the way Fluttershy’s wings were beginning to fan out, it might’ve been something lewd, and Rarity had a face that just screamed ‘idea!’.

“Rarity, I’m gonna cut you off for a second. If you insist on making cloths for me, then I only want workout clothes for my male form and maybe something for more formal occasions. For my female form, you can go wild. I will find a way to make it up to you!” Rarity pouted at me a bit, but the gears of inspiration refused to be stopped once they were in motion.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll work something out,” Rarity replied airily. I got the strangest feeling I was slightly out of my depth. Oh well, I’m sure it was nothing.

Author's Note

So, that little speech from Ranma was completely unintentional. I was thinking about the scene while in the shower and suddenly the words came tumbling out of her/his mouth.

Also, I know jack and shit about fashion. So...feel free to pretend they're wearing whatever. I am a fashion disaster and I know it.

Next chapter will probably include Ranma bumbling about the castle and maybe a start on the first session with Twilight. We'll see where my inspiration takes me.

In other news, I am trapped in an eternal hell, denied the sweet release of sleep or death. Forever forced to stew in my own twisted thoughts. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFF!!!! WHY IS IT MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS?!?!?! Of course, none of you will know what I'm losing my shit over this time for a long time yet. I'm not OK...

Showers are Great

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 3: Showers are Great

Everyone left the room to get on with their days, leaving me alone. I had a whole day to do with as I pleased. I will admit, the idea of taking a nap was an appealing one. However, Twilight did say I had been out for two days. A quick sniff of my armpits told me that, yes, I was getting a bit ripe. So, my first action would be taking a shower.

I threw off the covers of the bed and immediately ran into my first problem. The completely alien sensations of my new body were horribly distracting. I was almost sorry I hadn’t stuck to my new male form, but I knew I had to get used to this sooner or later anyway.

The feeling of my bare chest rubbing against the fabric of my shirt made me wish very much for a bra. How did the original Ranma survive without one? I hadn’t even started walking and just breathing was driving me wild. Of course, Genma would’ve probably verbally slaughtered his son and Nodoka might’ve literally killed him had either of them caught him wearing a bra for more than just some scheme. I felt my respect for the pigtailed martial artist rise quite a bit.

Even that was competing with the sense of missing something from between my legs. I was so used to sitting down with my legs spread slightly apart and being mindful of my junk that it was with a fair amount of shock that I realized I was sitting with my legs pressed together and not feeling the slightest bit of discomfort. There were dozens of other small things competed for my attention, but I could ignore them for now and parse them later.

Steeling my nerves, I stood and walked out the room. Then I realized I probably should’ve asked for a general layout of the castle. Twilight probably thought I was going to stay in my room. To be fair, I thought I was going to stay in that room too until I realized I was getting a bit stinky. So now I was faced with the choice of staying put and waiting an unknown amount of time for Twilight, Spike, or Starlight to come back and show me around or go exploring for myself.

Sitting around with nothing to do, not even a book to read, was never one of my strong suits. I wanted to be doing something or sleeping and I had already discarded the idea of sleep. So that meant I’d be putting on my imaginary fedora, grabbing my pretend whip, and setting out for adventure!

I say adventure, but what I really meant was poking my head in every door to see if I could find a bathroom or a towel or a laundry room. It took me almost thirty minutes of searching every room, but I eventually found what I needed. Fortunately, the bathroom and the laundry room shared a joint space and there was a towel hung up ready to use.

Unfortunately, that brought me to another problem. Showering in my new body was going to be absolutely necessary, but beyond that, what was appropriate? I was born a male in a completely different body. Was the current circumstance of inhabiting a female form morally wrong or creepy? Should I blindfold myself in the shower so I wouldn’t see Ranma’s body, either male or female? Where should the line be drawn? Did a line need to be drawn?

There was also the consideration that, with the Multiverse being a thing, there were probably an infinite number of me with their own lives who looked exactly like I used to. What if one of them was a sex worker? Did I have any right to complain just because they bore a resemblance to me? I had used the term ‘original’ in relation to the Ranma I was familiar with, but who actually was able to lay claim to being the ‘original’. If there even was an original and they didn’t all spring up at roughly the same time on a cosmological scale, did that original deserve to have a say on how the others behaved? That started to smack of authoritarianism in a way I didn’t like.

While I was sitting cross legged in the laundry room, turning these thoughts over in my brain, Spike walked into the room.

“Oh, hey dude, why are you sitting on the laundry room floor?” Spike asked. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out the way I wanted.

“I can’t think of a way to say it without sounding stupid,” I finally confessed.

“Word of advice, everyone is dumb. Some are just better at hiding it than others. If you just listened to the words Twilight used you’d think she’s the smartest person ever and never had an idiot moment in her entire life. However, if you listen to what she’s actually saying or watch her in action, it’s pretty easy to see she can and does fuck up like the rest of us. So, just say what you want to say,” Spike encouraged.

“I feel like this body isn’t my own so I should have as little to do with it as possible. It doesn’t help that short, busty redhead is pretty much my ideal in looks and it has low key been turning me on. It makes me feel like a molester or something,” I explained.

“Dude, you’re thinking about it too hard. I’ve lived with Twilight my whole life, so trust me when I say you are definitely thinking about it too hard. Are you a body snatcher?” Spike questioned pointedly.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” I replied.

“Then it is still your body, even if it looks differently. That means it is yours to do with as you please. You want a tattoo? Go ahead! You want to ‘get to know’ your new body better? I think that isn’t just reasonable, but important. I speak from experience when I say that walking around in a semi-constant state of arousal and doing nothing about it will just drive you crazy. There is no reason I can think of as to why you shouldn’t be allowed to do what you want. You’re an adult, right?” Spike wondered.

“Uh, I was 23 at home and I have no idea how old this body currently is. In the anime and manga Ranma was 16 at the start, but no one is sure how long the story takes and I’m almost positive this body is at least 20, so I think I still qualify as an adult? Maybe we should ask Twilight if she knows a way to identify someone’s age.” That was a good question. I hadn’t measured myself in any way, but I was pretty sure my female form was taller than my manga counterpart and going off the mirror I had found in the bathroom my proportions were ever so slightly different. Of course, there was translating an artist’s drawing to an actual flesh and blood person to be considered, but the art of Ranma ½ was usually fairly realistic with Ranma himself.

“Yeah, we probably should,” Spike agreed, “But for now, I need to use the toilet and I think you were looking to take a shower.” With that the young drake walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I almost asked him how he knew I was there for a shower, but suspected he might have a superior sense of smell. In any event, Spike had lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and I was very grateful to him. Heck, I continue to be grateful to him. He’s a good friend.

Eventually Spike finished his business and left after promising to tell Twilight to come see me sooner rather than later. Now it was time for the harrowing experience of undressing for the first time. Not wanting to agonize over it, I just slipped off my pants, shirt, and shoes. I already knew there were no undergarments, but I wondered why there wasn’t even a pair of boxers. It was unimportant at the moment. I dumped the clothes into the washer and turned it on and walked into the bathroom.

Walking without clothes was both better and worse than being clothed. On the one hand, the fabric was no longer setting me off by rubbing against my new chest. On the other, they were jiggling unconstrained and that was extremely distracting in its own way. I know people don’t tend to wake up one morning and suddenly have fairly sizable tits where there were none before, but I still had to wonder how women with bigger chests went about their daily lives. It was a skill I was going to have to learn. As much as the idea made me uncomfortable, I was going to have to at the very least talk to Fluttershy and Rarity about it. I could ask Pinkie too, purely for my own amusement, but getting a coherent answer out of her on such a subject might be asking too much.

It wasn’t that the other girls were flat except maybe Rainbow, but Fluttershy and Rarity were the ones I thought most likely to have actually useful tips and hopefully Rarity would be able to make me clothes that didn’t risk arousing me with every movement. I didn’t know if my level of sensitivity was normal and I was just overreacting because I was unused to it or I was particularly sensitive. Another thing I would have to figure out sooner or later.

That was a discussion for another time, however. For now it was time to do a bit of experimenting in the shower. First things first, I wanted to know exactly what temperature triggered the change from male to female. Well, I was in a shower, so I wouldn’t have the exact measurements, but that could come a little later. The results surprised me.

There was no single temperature that triggered the curse if the water was above or below it. There seemed to be a fairly sizable dead zone. If I was female, it took water temperature comparable to a hot shower to change to a male. If I was male, it took a temperature of about refrigerated water to become female. Admittedly, it had been a few years since I had read the manga or watched the anime, but I don’t recall the curse being anything other than a hair trigger. Of course, the story only covered very specific parts of lives of the Nerima Wrecking Crew, so it was certainly possible the change conditions were cherry picked for the sake of the story and/or the rule of funny. It was also possible that my version of the curse simply operated on different rules to the one of the manga. With the preliminary results providing more questions than answers, I decided to move on to examining my new bodies. Deciding to start with what I know, I turned up the water temperature until it triggered the change to male.

One thing that immediately became clear to me was that the change between male and female was not a shallow one. They seemed to be, for all intents and purposes, completely separate bodies. My female form had nearly flawless skin, but my male form had scars. A healed puncture wound on my left shoulder, the scarred remains of a gash on outside of my right thigh, and what were clearly claw marks across my abdomen the perfect size for house cats. However, there was one scar that shocked me: a thin, diagonal scar across my right breast. That was one of my scars.

I had been roughhousing with two of my younger brothers in our backyard. I had been 10 at the time and we were having a lot of fun. It was one of the last happy memories I had of my family. One of my brothers had shoved me and I fell to the ground. Under any other circumstances I would have tackled him back and we would have continued having fun. There was a sharp obsidian rock where I landed. It cut easily through my shirt and into my pectoral muscles. I wound up needing stitches for it and naturally it had scarred. Either this was the coincidence of all coincidences, or this really, truly was my own body given a different form and a new curse. This small confirmation made me happier than I care to admit.

Anyway, looking over my male body, it wasn’t hard to see Ranma was an excellent specimen of a young man in his prime. Well defined musculature, healthy looking hair, clear eyes, and after only a small bit of coaxing, a penis that was about 6 inches long and 3 ½ inches wide. So it was a little longer but with a little less girth than the average. I was absolutely fine with that.

Patting myself down and feeling firm muscle everywhere I touched was an exhilarating feeling. I had kept more or less in shape by biking around town, but there had always been a little bit of pudge around my stomach that I had never felt particularly motivated to knuckle down and get rid of. However, now that it was gone and I inhabited a body similar to a martial arts prodigy, well, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I just let this physique go!

Now for the final jump for my male form. I was going to take care of the erection I had invoked but hadn’t gone down. I noted that I was uncircumcised, whether because Ranma hadn’t been or because I hadn’t been was unclear. I carefully made sure my penis was clean before starting. I know some people like to lather up before masturbating, but I had always felt it was a waste to do so as I was perfectly capable of getting myself off without it. It didn’t help that the only moisturizer I did like to use was prohibitively expensive.

I wasn’t dumb enough to think that everything that had felt good in my old form would feel good in this one. I did expect at least some overlap, but I would need to do some investigating. I gently grasped the shaft closer to the tip than the base with one hand. The other hand went to my scrotum. I usually never bothered with my balls, since toying with them was almost never worth the effort, but again, new body new rules. They were noticeably more sensitive, but I still didn’t think they were worth the effort.

As I began stroking, I was pretty thankful I rarely used porn to jerk off. I usually preferred using my own imagination to construct fantasies and it wasn’t uncommon for me to get off while writing these fantasies down for later examination. That wasn’t even necessary here, because I was literally living a fantasy. As my arousal built, I started moving faster and faster. I played a bit with my foreskin and found it to my liking, but mostly grasped at my shaft at various points and rubbed. Not long after I started, I felt myself coming closer to the edge. I braced myself against the shower wall as I went past the point of no return and my knees went weak as I ejaculated.

That familiar feeling was, in a word, comforting. I could wax on about how having something stay roughly the same in a sea of change was good for me, but I won’t. Instead I discovered something very shocking entirely by accident. After I had ejaculated, I went to lower the water temperature so I could change. I did this without giving my arousal the chance to fully calm down, not giving it a second thought. I nearly screamed when the change hit. I certainly made a strange noise I’m not sure I can reproduce.

I had read that men and women experience arousal differently. In my experience as a man, arousal started in the penis, sending a heady feeling to the brain that encourages continuing the arousing act, reinforcing the feeling of arousal in the penis and the cycle continued until I pictured a crusty old politician in a Speedo, I jerked one off, or I simply tried to ignore it for a while.

Reading something and experiencing it firsthand are quite different. All my male arousal that was still hanging around was translated directly into female arousal and given a turbo charge. My core felt like it was on fire. I’m not sure how exactly to describe how my vagina felt other than hot and horribly empty. My breasts, most notably my nipples, felt sensitive enough that even the water of the shower was nearly pushing me over the edge and my nipples felt hard. What was going on in my head was the closest thing to what male arousal felt like, but even there I want to describe it like having a different flavor. Like comparing vanilla to strawberry ice cream, they were both ice cream yet both undeniably different.

The real problem was that I had zero idea on how to actually take care of myself outside of a few smut stories I had read that were unreliable at best. Still, I wasn’t in a position to be picky about what advice I took. I was so incredibly horny that I am absolutely sure that if someone, anyone, had poked their head in the door I would have instantly jumped them. I slid down to the floor of the tub and as slowly as I could tolerate I poked a single finger into my vagina and set my other hand searching for my clitoris. I’m not ashamed to admit I shrieked like an animal or maybe more like the damned. Completely new sensations overrode my conscious thoughts. This was like the first time I had jerked off as a guy but somehow so much worse! Or better, depending on your point of view.

I had once, foolishly imagined that putting a finger in a woman’s pussy was in some way comparable to putting a finger in your mouth. I was an idiot and would like to apologize to women everywhere for ever having that thought. My new pussy was soft and sensitive and moving around my finger and sensitive and did I mention sensitive? As for my clitoris, I’m pretty sure I only touched it through the hood but I don’t have the words to describe how intensely pleasurable it was.

I’m pretty sure I came immediately. I had no idea what a woman’s orgasm was like, but I spasmed, juice was now coating my hand, and I felt the arousal abate enough that I could string two thoughts together. I was still wildly aroused, but it wasn’t to an animalistic I-Need-To-Fuck-Something-NOW level anymore.

“Note to self: if I don’t want to spend the whole day as a quivering, horny mess, don’t transform while aroused. I wonder if it goes both ways or only from male to female?” As curious as I was, if it did go both ways then I might have flat out died if I tried it then and there given I was still as horny as a rabbit.

I certainly wasn’t leaving the bathroom until I had come down to a point where I could at least pretend I didn’t want to nail everything that moved. I absolutely did not trust my legs at the moment, but I also wasn’t a fan of the cold water pouring down on me as it did nothing to abate my need. So I slid myself around until I could reach the valve and make the water warm enough to be comfortable but not nearly warm enough to trigger the change.

Now that I was no longer in freak out mode, I did my best to ignore how much I wanted to stick my finger back in my snatch and went about feeling the rest of my body. There was certainly a lot of muscle on this form as well, but it was all covered by a delightful amount of feminine fat, just enough to look soft without actually being soft. Feeling the curvature of my waist down to my hips and into my butt was surprisingly erotic for me. I was and will continue to be a tits person, but I couldn’t deny my new body cut a fine figure in every regard, even if I would never say that out loud. I don’t quite have the ego Dash does.

Speaking of tits, I had expressly avoided mine. Now, I had looked into the matter when I was much younger, but cup sizes and things still didn’t make any sense to me. Beyond the general idea that A cups were mosquito bites and DD cups were pretty big, I was utterly clueless. So I had no idea where on the scale my new body landed. That was a conversation with Rarity I wasn’t sure I was looking forward to or not. All I knew was they looked pretty big on girl Ranma’s frame in the anime and manga and they looked even bigger from my new perspective. Deciding not to hesitate, I grabbed at my new boobs to see how it felt.

“Ow! Ow! Gently you idiot!” I berated myself. Turns out that just clawing at sensitive titflesh was a bad idea. If anyone asks, I’m going to blame that particular lapse in judgment on how horny I was. I tried again, this time just gently rubbing and kneading everywhere except my nipples and areole. It was quite pleasant. I don’t know if I was just already so aroused that more didn’t really register or if it was something else, but just calmly touching my breasts was somehow relaxing. It didn’t abate my lust, but it was relaxing none the less.

Eventually I decided it was time to move on to my areola and nipples. They were certainly sensitive and my nipples were proudly poking out. I knew what I had to do. I had to at least try it. I put my left nipple between my pointer finger and thumb. At first I flinched away due to how much feedback I got from that alone. I gathered my nerves and went for it.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I screamed and writhed around for a bit. I think I triggered my second orgasm. I was just thankful no one was around to hear me or if they had, they were merciful enough to leave me to my own devices. I decided then and there that I would not tweak my own nipples in the future. It was simply too much power for me to have over myself.

At this point I was feeling a little worn out and less horny. I wasn’t sure how long I had spent in the shower. I would have very much liked to continue my self exploration, but I had probably used up too much water as it was. So I quickly washed myself with soap and conditioner and shampoo because I can never remember which to use first, turned off the water, carefully dried myself off, and then realized I’d have to wait around naked while waiting for the dryer to dry my clothes.

I was a guest, so I wasn’t going to make a mess on the laundry room floor, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been very tempted.

Author's Note

I hope this wasn't too painful to read. Obviously, I'm a guy and have only ever been a guy. However, even in TG porn and hentai, they almost always skate over how males and females experience arousal differently. So I wanted to pay special attention to that point.

For any ladies reading this, could you tell me if this was way off course? I know I portrayed Ranma as perhaps unrealistically sensitive, but I think it's balanced out by the fact that she/he was previously a guy and was utterly unprepared for any female sensations. Thus we don't get a very good idea of how sensitive Ranma actually is. Still, I want the smut aspect to have at least some grounding in reality. Reality in a story about an aquatransexual martial artist in an anthro pretty pony land... *cries in self-hatred*. But seriously, feedback is super appreciated in this.

Next chapter we have Ranma's first interview with Twilight and discovering his/her new age. And before any of you wig out, he/she is over 18. I would slice off my own hands and never write again before writing pedo stuff, even as crack and even if it didn't go against the site's TOS.

Also, Spike is still best dragon bro.

I'm going to have to try and research bra sizes and shit again...yay. :yay:

I almost forgot, don't submit this story to the Displaced group. Apparently any lowlife can place any story in any group. So I had to bother the poor moderators of that group to get this story removed because I don't intend to follow their rules and didn't want to leech off the "Law Abiding Citizens" of that group.

The First Interview

Author's Note

Before any of you say anything, consider this: If a pony learned even half of the fuckery that goes on in our world, how would they react? Twilight immediately going to get drunk is quite possibly a tame response.

Also, the Interview chapters will be in third person format. It's just easier for me this way.

I reiterate, POLITICS! You've been warned twice now. Should you proceed, you have no one to blame but yourself. I only briefly touched on politics in this chapter and I tried to be as fair as I know how. It was super tame. It was mostly a history lesson that led into a mention of politics.

I know some of you will be curious, so when Ranma mentions something she/he saw online that caused him to fear for the human race? It was a reddit thread on a subreddit run by TERFs that has since been deleted for hate speech... r/gendercritical if you must know. Otherwise I might've posted a link to it just to see other people's reactions.

Why was I poking around that particular corner of the internet? Long time readers will already know the answer! I hate myself. To my newer readers: I hate myself. This has been your Public Service Announcement.

Above and beyond anything else, I hope you enjoy the little bit of alt-history fiction I indulge in.

The First Interview

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 4: The First Interview

Twilight was more excited than she had been in a long time. In mere minutes she would begin the first steps in the practical application of many Exo- type fields. Exobiology, Exopsychology, Exosociology, and Exoarcheology just to name a few! The portal was still technically a state secret, even if most of the scientific community already knew about it. With the only reliable portal being located in Twilight’s castle, it had remained almost entirely unexplored. Twilight was going to be the cutting edge! She double checked the camera to make sure everything was ready. She couldn’t afford any screw ups!

“Hey, Twilight, we ready to go?” Ranma walked into the library, where their first interview would be held. She paused upon seeing Twilight fiddling with the camera.

“What?” Twilight noticed her pause.

“I, uh, was kinda expecting a quill and scroll. Reflecting upon that assumption makes me feel very dumb,” Ranma replied.

“Electronica music and they still used quills?! I shudder to think how much paper this other me goes through in a week. Why, the checklists alone…” Twilight couldn’t bear to continue the thought, “Anyway, we’re ready to start whenever you are.”

“Ah, before we start, I wanted to know if you know a spell to determine my age. Well, this body’s age anyway. The real Ranma is 16, but I’m older than that,” Ranma explained.

“I do know a spell that’s usually used for archeology, but it’s easily modified. It’ll only give you down to the month, but that’s the best I’ve got without seeing a professional,” Twilight said apologetically.

“Hit me with it,” Ranma invited. A few seconds later and Twilight cast the spell.

“Your body is currently twenty one years and three months old,” Twilight announced, “How old you were you before?”

“Twenty Three years and seven months,” Ranma answered.

“Congratulations, you’ve gotten back two years. Oh, before I forget, Celestia and Luna both want to meet you. Celestia will be here either tomorrow or the day after to help you get started on citizenship. I’m not entirely sure when Luna will show up. She might just show up in your dreams and skip the physical visit altogether,” Twilight warned.

“Well, I can work with that. Let’s get started with that interview, shall we?” Ranma took a seat, crossing her legs and Twilight sat directly opposite of him. A few deep breaths to make sure she was calm and levitating a tablet that held a few of the questions she wanted to ask over to herself, she was ready.

“Ready?” Twilight asked.

“As I’ll ever be,” Ranma responded and Twilight telekinetically hit the record button.

“This is Twilight Sparkle, former student of Princess Celestia and Princess of Friendship. The date is July 13th 1005 ANM. The Time is approximately 11:20 AM. I will be conducting the first of hopefully several interviews with a human from a completely separate dimension to that connected to the mirror portal crafted by Starswirl the Bearded. She currently goes by the name of Ranma, but once had a different name and body. However, she does not remember her original name. She was transported to Equuis by a being known only as ‘The Merchant’ for unknown reasons. Ranma is currently also suffering under what she describes as a ‘curse’ that causes her to switch sexes upon exposure to sufficiently heated or cooled water. If you would demonstrate, Ranma?”

Ranma lifted a previously prepared cup of hot water and dumped it on herself, changing to her male form. He stood and demonstrated the change for the camera before pouring the cold water over himself.

“I only became aware of this so called ‘curse’ within the last day and Ranma herself has only been here for three days. Is there anything you would like to make note of, Ranma, before we continue?” Twilight asked.

“The only thing I can think of that’s important is that my species is human and our scientific name is Homo Sapiens meaning ‘wise man’. We’re also the only sapient species on Earth. If I think of anything else after the interviews I’ll try and make note of them and ask them at the end,” Ranma replied. That tallied with what Twilight knew of the other side of the mirror, "Oh! There was also no such thing as magic on Earth, at least as far as I'm aware."

“Very well, we’ll begin with society. I’ve always held the opinion that the easiest way to understand a society is to understand their family structure. So, what does a human family look like?” Twilight asked.

“You’ve unintentionally stepped onto a very loaded question to start out with…I’ll give you the traditional answer. One man and one woman meet, fall in love, get married, and have kids,” Ranma responded.

“A single male/female pair? Does this pairing last for life or only until the children reach adulthood? What does the gender ratio look like in humans?” Twilight inquired.

“The pairing is supposed to last for life, but rarely does. As for gender ratio, it’s almost perfectly 50/50,” Ranma replied and Twilight’s ears perked up.

“50/50?! The closest that we have on Equuis is a 40/60 split one way or the other! Ponies are almost 5 to 1 female to male! What about relationships outside of marriage?” Twilight questioned.

“Relationships are almost all one-on-one. Marriage is one-on-one regardless of the sexes of the couple by law,” Ranma answered and Twilight was shocked.

“They control who can marry who BY LAW?!” Twilight yelled in outrage. That was just...wrong.

“In almost every civilized country monogamy is the law. The only exceptions are countries on continents called Africa and Asia and a single island country,” Ranma confirmed.

“I know of Africa and Asia, there are continents bearing that name on the other side of the portal,” Twilight was forcing herself to be as professional as possible. The laws on the other side of the mirror weren’t so abhorrent, “Tell me about your family in particular.”

“My Mom met my Dad, they got married, they had me and my six younger siblings,” Twilight took a moment to consider if she wanted to press for a real answer. Something about this was a sore subject to Ranma, clearly. Twilight decided to proceed with caution.

“What is your parent’s relationship like?” A dark shadow flickered across Ranma’s face for an instant. Twilight would have thought she imagined it, if not for her answer.

“Why would I care about my parent’s relationship?” That was inconceivable. Almost every species with even a modicum of intelligence learned how to behave around other members of their species from their parent or parents! Ranma was too old for this to be teenage rebellion. Unless humans aged very strangely, Ranma was a fully developed adult with her secondary sexual characteristics. She certainly spoke like an adult. Was she an orphan? No, she would have mentioned if they were dead and she had referred to them in the present tense. Were they divorced? Again, Ranma would have mentioned it. The only reason Twilight could think of for Ranma’s distain towards her own parents would be…oh.

Serious child abuse by a parent was almost entirely unheard of in Equestria. It was vanishingly rare even outside of Equestrian borders. In those one in a million happenings, the rest of the herd almost instantly caught wind of it and had the offender arrested before any lasting harm could be done.

But in a system where one-on-one relationships were not only common, but enforced? If one parent became abusive, then the options of the other parent were very limited. If both parents were abusive? The thought alone was disgusting, but Ranma hadn’t shown any favor towards either parent. If one was suffering at the hand of the other, Ranma would have defended them as a matter of fact, even if she didn’t realize she was doing it.

Twilight prayed she was wrong. She had jumped the gun on more than one occasion. Even if she was right, Twilight ran the risk of digging up some long healed trauma. She couldn’t act without knowing more. Twilight resolved to keep a close eye on Ranma.

“How do humans reproduce?” Twilight asked, trying to move the interview away from dangerous waters. Ranma arched an eyebrow.

“Male puts penis into female vagina. If the woman is ovulating, she can become pregnant from the man’s sperm,” Ranma replied, “A human woman enters menopause at around 50 years of age, but a human male remains fertile for his whole life, barring special circumstances.”

“How often do human women experience menstruation? Do they not also have an estrus period?” Twilight asked.

“Menstruation occurs about once a month and they don’t have estrus. Do ponies have both?” Ranma was very surprised.

“Not exactly, menstruation is bi-monthly and only has a mild chance of pregnancy, but ponies go into heat generally the first week of April and a few mares do it again in early September. Both weeks are holidays for obvious reasons. It isn’t technically estrus, but mimics enough features of it that the layperson calls it estrus anyway. During heat, pregnancy is almost a certainty with a compatible mate,” Twilight explained, "I wouldn't recommend being male during those weeks."

“Duly noted,” Ranma responded.

“Well, now that we’ve covered family and touched on reproductive topics, let’s move on to society at large, specifically government. What method of governance did your country employ and if you know it, the governance of other countries,” Twilight requested.

“Well, The United States of America, most concisely, was a constitutional democratic republic,” Once again, that was consistent with what Twilight knew of the other side of the mirror, “But as for other countries, well, there are 195 countries so I don’t know most of them.”

“195? What year was it on your world?” That certainly didn’t match.

“2021 AD,” Ranma answered.

“How strange…that’s the year on the other side of the portal, but there are only about 73 countries,” Twilight noted.

“73?! How?!” Ranma exclaimed in surprise.

“After their World War, paranoia ran so high that another World War would happen that countries started invading and conquering each other in hopes of being able to survive that war. They eventually became known as the Unification Wars collectively and they started about a year after the close of the World War. I won’t bore you with the exact list of who conquered who right now, but The United States took over virtually all of both American continents and Egypt now rules over 75% of Africa,” Twilight lectured.

“Egypt took over most of Africa? That’s a surprise. How’d they manage that?” Ranma had always enjoyed alt-history.

“Israel joined forces with them,” Twilight answered. Ranma’s jaw dropped.

“Israel hates Egypt almost as much as they do the Palestinians!” Ranma shouted.

“And that’s how Egypt got Israel on their side. They promised to help stamp out the Palestinians. Of course, when all was said and done, Egypt turned around and conquered both, but hindsight is 20/20,” Twilight shrugged, “What happened on your world?”

“After the first World War, there was a major economic depression around the world. A man named Adolf Hitler rose to power in Germany and militarized Germany. He placed the blame for the hardships Germany faced on the Jews. The first official act of World War II was Germany invading Poland in 1939. Britain and France both immediately declared war on Germany. The rest is a very dark chapter in human history. In the end, almost 85 million died and thus the deadliest conflict in human history even to this day.” Ranma answered solemnly, "That's a gross oversimplification, of course, but it's enough to get a basic idea."

“The Unification Wars totaled almost 300 million in total from all conflicts. It’s funny, they were so afraid of a Second World War, but when it did actually happen, the death toll was so much smaller,” Twilight said morosely.

“Humans suck, don’t they?” Ranma laughed humorlessly.

“You’re not as bad as ants,” Twilight pointed out. This evoked a real laugh.

“‘Not as bad as ants’ what a lofty title!” Ranma chuckled.

“Also, as you said Humans suck. In my experience, individuals are pretty OK,” Instead of cheering Ranma up, the statement seemed to cause her to wilt.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Ranma said neutrally.

“Well, let’s move on to the interpersonal aspect of society!” Twilight moved on, “How do humans socialize?”

“That’s a very hard question to answer. When I was taken, we were just on the tail end of a very deadly worldwide pandemic. Society was only just starting to come back together into a new normal. If I had been taken maybe six months later, I could probably tell you more. For more than a full year, human contact was pretty much limited to online interactions and people you already lived with. That’s how much the pandemic affected the day to day. There were standing orders for people to remain at least 6 feet apart from one another if they did have to go outside,” Ranma told her.

“That’s awful!” Twilight gasped.

“For that year, COVID-19 and Coronavirus became some of the most feared words on Earth. It was a more contagious and more deadly version of the flu. For the first six months, virtually everything that was non-critical was shut down, including schools,” Twilight hated the thought of schools being forced to close down. All that time for education lost!

“What was society like before the pandemic?” Twilight asked.

“If I’m being honest, it was on the very edge of imploding. There was such an awful Us vs. Them in every facet. Men vs. Women, Liberals vs. Conservatives, Democrats vs. Republicans, and more were rampant. No one was allowed to talk about it either, to try and be a middle ground, because you’d immediately be vilified by both sides. I’m not a sociologist; I don’t know really how to explain it any better than that,” Ranma sighed.

“I don’t understand the context between the other two, but Men vs. Women? How could society degrade to such a state? Both sexes are important in their own ways!” The more Twilight learned, the more Ranma’s world sounded like a twisted, dark funhouse mirror. Although, if people were passing laws concerning who could marry who, that was a big clue as to how society might begin to collapse.

“OK, so this is just my own understanding and again, I’m not a sociologist. In ancient times, men were the hunters, the providers. The women were tasked with staying at home and taking care of the children,” Twilight bit down on her knee jerk response to that and thought about it.

“In a world where the sexes are 50/50, I suppose it makes sense for the more physically powerful sex to take on those roles without magic to serve as an equalizer...” Twilight mused.

“Humanity evolved, but the mindset didn’t. Women were seen as subservient, lesser than men for a very long time,” Ranma continued.

“Ponies went through something similar. Stallions were to be protected at all costs, because they were much rarer than mares. Until Luna and Celestia took the throne, stallions were often considered non-entities, good only for their sperm,” Twilight commented.

“Eventually the women got fed up of being treated as second class. All across the world, women banded together in the name of equality with men. I obviously wasn’t alive back then, but reading about it is awe inspiring. Those people were heroes. Eventually they got the laws changed and women, at least legally, became equal to men,” Ranma recounted.

“It doesn’t end there, does it? Even when Luna and Celestia worked to change the laws here, it was still a long time before society reflected the laws,” Twilight noted.

“You are correct. The second wave of this movement concerned itself with treating the social injustice women still labored under. Again, they were heroes and successfully changed the world,” Ranma’s eyes lost focus and she sighed.

“Why didn’t it end there? If everyone was equal, what more was there to fight for?” Twilight asked.

“The general idea of the third wave was to tear down ‘harmful gender norms’. This is the one that started during my lifetime. The idea was good and I agree that certain gender enforced behavior is either outdated or not healthy to begin with. However, I personally think the execution was lacking. Not everyone in the movement agreed what constituted ‘harmful gender norms’. They splintered, resulting in many groups still waving the flag of the original movement, but having completely different ideas on how to fulfill their goals. Ultimately extremists appeared in every group and ‘harmful gender norms’ became ‘men are the enemy’. There are genuinely good people still in the movement, I knew one or two personally and know of several more, but I fear they’ve become little more than tools for the extremists. Some of the things I saw online made me genuinely fear for the future of humanity,” Ranma said sadly.

“That can’t have been the opinion of any kind of majority…” Twilight sounded horrified.

“In 2017 over four million people marched in the United States alone for this. Worldwide it was over five million. I wouldn’t be surprised if the number had been higher if more countries allowed peaceful protest. If it isn’t a majority, it’s one of the most vocal minorities of human history. Most of the mainstream media treats the extremists as the last word on what is good in the world. Speaking against them can result in censure, losing your job, and being harassed endlessly,” Twilight searched Ranma’s face for any sign she was joking. All she found was a stony face and tried eyes.

“OK, let’s end the interview here, I…need to not think about this,” Twilight turned off the recording and teleported to Berry Punch’s bar. For the first time, Twilight was thankful Berry ran her bar all day.

A Day on the Town

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 5: A Day on the Town

I didn’t spend much time in the library after Twilight teleported away. She was a big girl and could handle herself. I also had no idea where she had teleported to, so it wasn’t like I could track her down and see if she wanted to talk. More to the point, I hadn’t been outside the castle yet. So I decided it was time to remedy that. I had important things I could be doing in town.

Once I opened the doors to the outside world, it really hit me. Seeing Ponyville sprawled out before me, the clear skies, the wonderfully warm sun, it really sank in that I was, in fact, in another dimension. And I couldn’t be happier. I only barely clamped down on the desire to shout for joy.

I walked into town and realized that, no matter how much I had watched the show, I had little idea where I was heading. Well, the Carousel Boutique was an isolated building that was taller than most of the other houses. I could’ve probably jumped on a rooftop to try and get my bearings, but I wasn’t nearly familiar enough with my new body to want to risk something like that.

So that left me with asking for directions. I was tempted to just wander aimlessly to start getting the residents used to me. I could even claim I was fulfilling the male stereotype of hating asking for directions if I was asked later. However, the feeling of my shirt rubbing against my chest and my pants rubbing against my ass very much incentivized me to get to Rarity ASAP. I very, very badly needed underwear.

A lot of people had been looking at me with various levels of discretion, so I probably had my pick of guides. Derpy was an appealing choice, but I might wind up at Sweet Apple Acres if I followed her direction. Until I knew more, Spoiled Rich was right out. Lyra and Bon-Bon looked to be out on a date, so I didn’t want to interrupt them. When the market and Big Mac came into view, I decided to try my luck with him.

Now the only question was how to approach him. I didn’t have any money, so I couldn’t claim to be casually buying an apple. Had Applejack mentioned me to him? I decided there was no use dallying around and approached. Unsurprisingly, Big Mac was a mountain. A plaid flannel shirt of red and simple blue jeans were what he wore, but his size and muscles from life on the farm really made an impression.

“Er, Hello, Big Mac,” I greeted.

“Howdy,” He returned.

“Uh, did Applejack maybe mention me?” I asked hesitantly.

“Eeyup,” I let out a sigh of relief, “What can I do fer ya, Ms. Ranma?” Being called Ms. was definitely a surreal experience. It was one I could easily get used to. No, I had to focus!

“I was wonder if you could point me in the direction of Rarity’s Boutique. I am in need of her services,” I explained.

“Walk down ta tha edge of the market, turn right on Canter Street. Follow it till ya get to B Boulevard an’ take a left. Ya’ll should see Ms. Rarity’s place sooner or later,” Big Mac directed.

“Thank you, you’ve been a huge help. Once Twilight pays me, I’ll stop by and buy an apple or two!” I promised.

“Take care,” Big Mac bid me farewell.

“You too,” I replied before heading on my way. Once I was away, a huge grin broke out on my face. I HAD JUST TALKED TO BIG MAC! I was gonna have to get over this sooner or later, but just talking to my favorite ponies made me so gosh darn happy…and they were almost all my favorites!

I followed Big Mac’s instructions and sure enough, I eventually spotted Rarity’s Boutique. I double checked to make sure it was still within business hours before letting myself in.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique!” Rarity called out before she looked up at her new customer, “Oh, Ranma, I wasn’t expecting you so soon…or any time today, really. I thought Twilight would keep you tied up for at least the whole day.”

“We wandered onto some sensitive subjects so Twilight decided to end it for now. I thought I’d do something productive in the mean time and so here I am to get measured for clothes and stuff,” I told her.

“And Twilight isn’t with you because..?” Sharp as a tack, this one.

“I actually have no idea where Twilight is. She ended the interview by teleporting away. I wasn’t gonna let that stop me. I have to figure out my way around sooner or later,” I shrugged like it was no big deal. I was worried about Twilight, but as I’ve said before, she’s an adult who can more than take care of herself. Rarity pursed her lips before speaking.

“Well, I suppose I’ll just have to talk to her about that later. For now, if you would be so kind as to follow me into my backroom so you can strip and I can get your measurements?” Rarity requested. I was blindsided by her bluntness and meekly followed her with no fuss, “Strip.” She commanded and I followed with no hesitation. I was overcome with a flush of embarrassment and tried to cover up with my arms and hands.

“Is this necessary?” I asked timidly. Rarity looked at me with a calculating eye.

“Yes. Now, I don’t believe you need a bra-”

“Yes I do!” I earned an arched eyebrow for my outburst, “The feeling of my…uh…my…”

“I deal with naked people all the time, Ranma, you can say breasts in front of me,” Rarity chided.

“My breasts rub up against my clothes and it’s very distracting,” I forced myself to say.

“Ah, of course, you were a male full time before. Silly me, it slipped my mind. How did your world handle bras? Did you use cup sizes like we do?” Rarity inquired.

“I know almost nothing about bras,” I confessed. Rarity smirked.

“Aw, that’s so precious. Such a pure boy you are~” Rarity teased.

“I’m not pure!” I scrunched up my face in anger, but I was told later it looked more like a pout, “I looked up this stuff when I was younger, but it might have well been in another language. I just gave up after realizing D cup was big and A cup was small. I didn’t think I’d ever need to know any of it.”

“Well, allow me to demystify the subject. To find one’s cup size, you first measure the abdomen under the breasts. Then you measure around the farthest part of your breasts. The difference in inches is the cup size, starting at A cup with one inch. Let’s get you measured, shall we?” Rarity levitated a tape measure over to me and it wrapped around my abdomen for a moment before moving to around my breasts, “30DD, you’ll find most store bought in that size to be just a little bit loose. Naturally, I recommend letting me custom fit your bras.”

“Ever the savvy business woman,” I snarked. Rarity simply smiled at me.

“Now, there’s the question of what style of bra you’d prefer. Do you intent on doing a lot of physical activity?” Rarity asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

“So at least a few sports bras…” Rarity mused to herself, “You’d probably kill me for suggesting a triangle bra if you knew what that was, so that’s out. Full-cup and Longline are probably a good place to start you with.”

“I avail myself to your superior knowledge,” I said with complete seriousness.

“A good attitude to have,” Rarity remarked. A minute or so later and she had all the measurements of my female form, “So, is that offer to dress you in whatever I please still open?”

“Only my female form, but yes,” I agreed. Rarity’s eyes gained a predatory gleam.

“Yes, well, speaking of your forms, I still need to measure your male form,” She levitated a glass of hot water to me and dumped it over my head. I was not amused, but I didn’t say anything. Rarity soon had the measurements for my male form as well and I splashed myself with cold water when she was done.

“Thank you for doing this for me,” I said gratefully.

“Think nothing of it. I’ll have this done in a few days’ time. Now, are you absolutely sure I can’t convince you to let me whip up a special something for your male form?” Rarity fluttered her eyes at me.

“I…I suppose the worst that could happen is I simply don’t wear it,” I gave in. If Rarity wanted to do this, then who was I to stop her?

“You won’t be disappointed!” Rarity promised, "Until I've got your order ready, however, I have a sports bra in a size close enough to your own that it should at least be serviceable." Soon I had said bra and Rarity taught me how to put it on. It was still strange to wear such a thing, but it was miles better than before.

With my business at the Boutique completed, we said our farewells and I set about looking for Rainbow Dash. This time I was content to just wander around town, getting to know the lay of the land. I had never been great with following directions, but once I had a mental map of an area, I never got lost. My family had moved 20+ times growing up, so I had a lot of practice honing this particular skill. Before you ask, no, I wasn’t an army brat. My Dad just has one of the worst cases of itchy feet known to mankind.

By my reckoning, it took me about three hours of wandering before I finally spotted a shock of rainbow hair poking over the side of a low hanging cloud. I didn’t know if she was napping or simply lounging. It was certainly an option to just sit under her cloud and wait for her to make a move. I didn’t want to be rude and wake her up if she was asleep. I had no idea how light a sleeper Rainbow was. Fortunately, the problem was solved for me.

“Oh, hello Ranma. What brings you here?” I turned to find Fluttershy.

“I want to talk to Rainbow, who’s up on that cloud, but if she’s napping, I don’t want to wake her,” I explained as I pointed out the cloud. Fluttershy looked up and hummed to herself.

“She really shouldn’t be napping at this time of day. If she is asleep, I’ll go wake her,” Fluttershy decided and flew up to the cloud. I watched as she landed and soon heard talking a moment before Rainbow poked her head over the side of the cloud.

“Yo! What’s up?” She called down. Looks like she wasn’t napping after all.

“I need to figure out how strong I am and stuff! You know martial arts and stuff, so could you help me?” Rainbow blinked a few times.

“Yeah, sure, I can get something set up for you tomorrow. Are you just interested in how strong you are or do you actually want to learn?” Rainbow asked.

“This body is based off a top level martial artist! I don’t know if I inherited any of the muscle memory, but even if I didn’t I’d still like to learn!” I replied. Rainbow Dash flew down to my level to give me an appraising look. Fluttershy came down a moment later.

“I’m not gonna go easy on you,” Rainbow warned.

“This is Ponyville. Something weird and/or dangerous happens almost every week. Since I’m in this position anyway, I’d rather be able to make myself useful. Do your worst, Rainbow,” I said firmly.

“I like where your head’s at!” Rainbow smiled, “I’m gonna have to think about what styles to teach you though. You don’t fly, so that’s most Pegasus styles out the window. No magic means most Unicorn styles are worthless too. We’ll have to see exactly how strong you are before deciding on Earth Pony styles, but you might be a little too small to make the best use of those. I might have to call in a friend who specializes in the deer styles if we really want to find a good match for you.”

“It sounds like you’re looking at a full plate, Ranma,” Fluttershy noted, “Helping Twilight with her research, learning martial arts, eventually looking for your own place, learning more about our society, and whatever else you might get up to.”

“To do anything less would be an insult to the opportunity I’ve been given!” I proudly declared. Fluttershy smiled serenely at me while Rainbow failed at trying to hide her snickering behind her hands. I thought it was cool.

“Well, if we’re gonna do that, I’ve gotta go start preparing. Catch you later!” Rainbow took off at speed without waiting for either me or Fluttershy to respond.

“I have shopping to do in town…would you maybe care to join me?” Fluttershy asked hesitantly.

“I would love to join you,” I answered and I followed her back towards the market.

The sun was setting as I returned to the castle. I had quite enjoyed the sedate shopping trip with Fluttershy. With her by my side, the townsfolk had contented themselves to just looking at me instead of any of them being brave enough to talk to me. I knew that'd likely end as soon as the CMC set me in their sights. But all good things must come to an end. As soon as I opened the doors, I heard two people being very loud. I couldn’t make out the words, but it sounded like their voices were carrying all the way from the library. Ever curious, I made my way there.

“Starlight, stop struggling~!” I heard as I stood outside the door.

“Get off me Twilight! You always do this when you’re drunk!” Starlight complained.

“I’m not- I’m not drunk! I’m justa little tipsy, is all!” Twilight was making a good effort, but she was slurring a little too much to be as sober as she claimed. A part of me wanted to just go to my room. Yet, this was also somewhat my fault. Also, leaving Starlight to her fate would be an awfully cowardly thing to do. With all this in mind, I opened the door to the library.

Two heads snapped instantly in my direction. For a moment, we all just stared at each other. Both ponies were sitting on a couch and Twilight was draped all over Starlight, who looked very uncomfortable. The Alicorn was also pretty flushed, probably from alcohol. So, Twilight was a cuddly drunk, was she?

“Ranma, run, save yourself!” Starlight warned. Twilight grew a very predatory grin.

“Ranma!” Twilight teleported on top of me before I could react. She started rubbing her body all against mine, “I haven’t had a new person to cuddle since Starlight! Yay!”

“You really shouldn’t have come in here,” Starlight sighed.

“This is kinda my mess and- EEP!” I squeaked as Twilight started groping my breasts.

“You have some nice boobies, Ranma,” Twilight giggled absently.

“Twilight’s a full grown mare. It was her choice to get drunk. You don’t have to go white knight,” Starlight shook her head.

“What kind of man would I be if I didn’t help those in need? ACK! Twilight why are you touching me there?!” I shouted.

“Don’t look like a man. Don’t feel like a man,” Twilight mumbled.

“What do you mean ‘what kind of man would you be’? It’s a mare’s job to protect the stallions,” Starlight sounded confused.

“Where I come from men protect the women,” I replied as Twilight continued her cuddle assault, “I don’t know enough to say if it’s a full gender reversal though.”

“Huh, I guess your home has a better female to male ratio then?” I was a little bit annoyed we were talking shop while Twilight was all over me, but I had asked for it.

“Yes, almost perfectly 50/50,” I answered.

“50/50?!” Starlight shouted.

“Twilight had that same response. How come?” I asked.

“Magic influences life very heavily here on Equuis. Generally the more magically inclined the species the more the ratio is in favor of females. To put it simply, Magic is Life and females produce more Life. It has backfired in the past though. Pureblood Reindeer went extinct three hundred years ago after a plague killed all their males. All that’s left of them are hybrids. Originally, Reindeer had an eight to one female to male ratio,” Starlight explained. During her explanation, I noticed Twilight had stopped moving. Thankfully, she had fallen asleep.

“Uh, so am I just going to sleep on the floor tonight? I don’t know how you ponies deal with hangovers,” I remarked. Starlight got this odd, almost fond look on her face. She lifted the sleeping Twilight off of me telekinetically.

“Don’t worry, ‘hero’, I’ve got you covered,” Starlight and the slightly snoring Twilight left the library, leaving me on the floor. Despite its crystal nature, it was almost comfortable. Still, I had plans with Rainbow the next day. Also, Twilight touching me everywhere had left me a bit horny and taking care of myself in a public place would be in poor taste. So I got up, went to my room, locked the door, and started settling in for the night.

Author's Note

A little bit of lore, a little bit of characters being warm and fluffy, this is exactly what I needed. I was gonna leave the drunk Twilight scene off until next chapter, but decided next chapter would be full enough with the start of Ranma's training and a certain someone coming to pay a visit.

BTW, I don't say this enough, but I'm super duper happy that so many of you are enjoying this little bit of self-indulgence.

The Starting Line

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 6: The Starting Line

“It’s a beautiful day outside. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming…on a day like today, kids like me…should be burning in hell,” Ever since I had been dumb enough to listen to one of my work friends about Undertale and did a genocide run without knowing what that meant, that line had always floated around in my head during nice days like today.

“You say something, Ranma?” Rainbow asked.

“Just thinking out loud,” I lied.

“Egghead,” Rainbow quipped, “Anyway, let’s get you started on establishing those baselines! I set up test dummies rated for Earth Ponies just in case. I don’t think you’ll need ‘em, but better safe than sorry. Otherwise, this is your show Ranma, how you wanna kick things off?”

“Heck if I know. Jumps maybe? Original Ranma was a pretty great jumper,” I decided.

“You can do it Ranma!” Fluttershy cheered. I wasn’t sure exactly why she was watching me, but I wasn’t without ideas either.

“OK, standing high jump. 3…2…1…” I put as much strength into my legs as I could and sprang up a good two stories. I had yet to consider how to land. I halfway hoped Rainbow would catch me, but no such luck. I planted face and top half of my body first into the ground and it hurt.

“Are you OK, Ranma?” Fluttershy asked with concern.

“Aren’t these things supposed to be air bags? Why do they hurt so much?” I whined as I rubbed my chest. Rainbow burst out laughing.

“Whoever told you they were airbags was lying to you. It’s not as bad as getting kicked in the balls, but getting hit in the tits hurts like a bitch too,” Rainbow explained, “If you’re gonna be a fighter, you gotta learn to either not get hit there or get used to the pain.”

“Duly noted,” I sighed and already the pain from the shock was dissipating.

“Anyway, with jumps like that, it might not be a waste to teach you some Pegasus styles after all. If we can get you some mid-air control, you could make some great use of those techniques,” Rainbow noted.

We spent a little while longer going over various kinds of jumps until Rainbow was satisfied.

“So, next up let’s see how hard you can hit. I wanna see what you think a punch is, so just let loose on this dummy here,” Rainbow pointed at the dummy closest to her. I stepped up to it and positioned myself as I had been taught and threw a punch. The dummy swayed a bit with impact, but otherwise didn’t respond. A series of numbers popped up in the air above the dummy. Rainbow let out an appreciative whistle and Fluttershy let out a quiet ‘oh my’.

“Well, looks like I was right to set up the Earth Pony dummies and I gotta say, you do know the basics of a punch. You had a decent stance, throwing the punch with your whole upper body, and thumb outside the fist. I can’t tell you how many newbies put their thumb in their fist,” Rainbow shook her head ruefully, "Not to say you can't still improve, but not bad."

“I did study martial arts for a couple of years,” I noted.

“Really? What styles?” Rainbow asked.

“I learned karate and judo. Judo focused mostly on throws and pins and no strikes of any kind while karate focused more on kicks and punches. Neither are armed styles,” I recited from memory.

“Sounds pretty basic to me, but if all you had were humans, then I guess there weren’t a bunch of species and tribes doing stuff only they could do in their martial arts.” Rainbow reasoned.

“There were over 170 different styles of martial arts back home, but most of them really only stood out in the philosophy. Tiger style Kung Fu is about absolute offense, but Tai Chi is, to my understanding, all about finding inner peace. Both are considered Kung Fu, but one is a fighting style and the other is used for meditation. That’s about where my knowledge ends, unfortunately,” I said apologetically.

“Nah, that’s fine. It might be better you don’t know all that much anyway. Easier to train you from scratch if we don’t have get you to unlearn a bunch of stuff,” Rainbow said dismissively.

“So what do those numbers above the dummy mean?” I asked.

“Oh, right, that’s the force of your punch in psi. A trained Earth Pony can get about 17 to 19 hundred psi out of a punch. Strongest ever recorded was over 2600 psi. You’ve clocked in at about 1650 psi. I bet with some proper training we could get you up to at least 1800!” Rainbow said excitedly. I was privately wondering if I could get it even higher than that. I wasn’t sure if I was using Ki to boost my punches or not.

For the next couple of hours we continued setting baselines. How many sit ups, pushups, crunches, sprints, mile runs, and more. I was pretty well worn out by the time we finished.

“Alright, I think I have what I need to start with. Anything else you wanna note before we call it a day, Ranma?” Rainbow asked. I decided to voice something that had been bugging me all day.

“I feel like I have some kind of muscle memory, but it doesn’t match up with anything I’ve done. I might’ve inherited more than just Ranma’s looks and curse,” I explained.

“That…could be a problem,” Rainbow admitted, “Do you know the styles Ranma practiced?”

“Ranma didn’t practice any one style. He used his family style “Anything Goes” or to be more accurate “The School of Indiscriminate Grappling”,” Fluttershy answered, “He just cherry picked anything useful and added it to his style. I could lend you the series so you can see for yourself.”

“Ugh, reading homework,” Rainbow groused, “But if it might help, I don’t see why not.”

With that agreed upon, Fluttershy and Rainbow headed to Fluttershy’s house while I headed back to the castle and a shower. Unfortunately, I was bushwhacked as soon as I opened the door.

“Welcome back, Ranma,” Twilight greeted. Standing next to her was Celestia. I’ve read stories where Celestia is lauded as the pinnacle of beauty for pony-kind. This Celestia was gorgeous, make no mistake, but I wouldn’t go that far. She was a full head and neck taller than Twilight and wore a simplistic one piece white dress that wouldn’t have looked out of place on Naminé. It billowed in some unseen wind just as her hair did and combined with her regalia and large white wings, it gave Celestia quite the ‘angel queen’ look.

“Er, greetings, your Highness,” I bowed crisply and felt extremely awkward that I was sweaty and wearing a sweat drenched workout tank top in my first meeting with the one who was basically the queen.

“Quite the charmer you’ve got here, Twilight,” Celestia snarked. I was immediately thankful that this Celestia seemed to be a more laid back type. I shudder to think what I would’ve done if I had wound up in an Equestria with a tyrannical overlord Celestia.

“Usually, when meeting royalty, I’m given a bit more heads up and a more accurate time frame than ‘tomorrow or the day after’,” I snarked back. Twilight attempted the classic ‘innocent whistling’ but Celestia’s growing grin told me the white Alicorn was on to her former student.

“Apologies, Ranma, my…secretary must have lost the memo,” Twilight was now sweating bullets.

“Funny how that happens, isn’t it?” Twilight remarked nervously. She probably didn’t want Celestia to know she had been hungover all morning. I decided to take mercy on Twilight.

“I was probably just out the door so early this morning Twilight didn’t have a chance to tell me,” This was a lie, of course. Starlight, Spike, and I had been helping Twilight suffer through her hangover for two hours before I left to see Rainbow. Twilight mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ to me.

“Is that so…” Twilight and I both knew Celestia was old enough to not be duped by our petty schemes. But for our own sakes, the effort had to be made! “If it was so difficult for Twilight to track you down afterwards, perhaps you need a tracking spell placed on you, Ranma?”

“If it is convenient for Twilight to do so, then I will gladly take on this burden!” And now I was just hamming it up. Twilight looked mortified, but Celestia started giggling.

“I think we’ll get along just fine, Ranma,” Celestia assured, “Now, let’s get you started on your citizenship.”

“Do I have to sign up twice, since I have two forms?” I asked.

“It’s very rare, but not entirely unheard of for shapeshifters such as Changelings and some of the more magically aligned breeds of Dragons to wish to become citizens of Equestria. Because you are limited to just your male and female forms, it’s a much simpler matter. When you submit your citizenship documentation to Mayor Mare you will also need to present a picture of your male and female self,” Celestia explained.

“You can thank me for that! I didn’t want anyone else going through the bureaucratic nightmare I went through after ascending. Even after my coronation it was still six months until I was ‘officially’ recognized as a princess due to the law treating my ascension as if it were some kind of shapeshifting and not a one-time transformation. Getting a sex change done would’ve been easier and those are nearly impossible!” Twilight huffed.

“She’s still a bit bitter over that,” Celestia said unnecessarily.

“What’s this about sex changes being nearly impossible?” I asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from mountains of paperwork.

“It’s only ever been done successfully once in all of Pony history. Research into it all but stopped because the price for failing the ritual was…messy,” Twilight shuddered.

“Quite right, although with Ranma’s unique ‘curse’, maybe research could be reopened?” Celestia noted.

“I’d be happy to help if I can,” I replied readily, “I will draw the line at dissection, however.”

“You drive a hard bargain, but I think we can accommodate your unreasonable demands,” Celestia smirked.

“Alright, well, I’ll fill out the paper work and have those pictures at Town Hall ASAP, but for the moment, I’m quite sweaty and I’m sure I stink, so if it pleases your Highness, I would like to take a shower,” I gave an exaggerated bow and almost toppled over, still not used to the extra weight on my chest.

“You may take your leave,” Celestia used her most imperious voice with a gleeful twinkle in her eyes, “Speaking of leaves, I must go myself. A princess’ work is never done, after all.”

Twilight said her farewells to her mentor and Celestia teleported away, presumably back to Canterlot.

By most metrics it had been a good day. I got to listen to Twilight swear off alcohol for what Spike claimed was the 14th time. I got to test the current limits of my new body and spend time with both Rainbow and Fluttershy. I even got to make what I thought was a favorable impression to Princess Celestia, even if my heart would always belong to the Lunar Republic. So I was content to take my warm, but not hot, shower and head off to bed.

The next day I’d get my first batch of clothes from Rarity. I also had an early morning jog with Rainbow planned. But that was still in the future. At that moment, I managed the astonishing feat of falling asleep almost immediately. I was just hoping no one would notice I had skipped dinner.

Author's Note

"What I'm doing is wrong. I know it's wrong. But I'm going to keep doing it anyway because I hate myself."

Lunar Arts

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 7: Lunar Arts

It had been a couple of days since I submitted my citizenship papers and Mayor Mare had assured me that the process would be completed by the end of the week. In the meantime, I had been exercising and training with Rainbow, learning more about this world, and generally getting to know the locals and the lay of the land.

On this particular day, I was heading out to Fluttershy’s cottage. She had invited me there the day before and since I didn’t have anything better to do until tomorrow when I had my next scheduled appointment with Twilight, I gladly accepted. As I arrived at her cottage, I knocked on the door.

“Hello, Ranma, I’m glad you came. Come in, make yourself at home,” Fluttershy answered the door with a smile. Upon her invitation, I entered Fluttershy’s cottage for the first time. It was comparable to the one in the show, but the furniture was modified for Fluttershy’s bipedal body and it also contained a cheap television pressed up against one wall and what looked like a fairly high end computer against another.

“So, any particular reason you asked me to come over or did you just want to chat?” I asked as I took a seat.

“A little of both,” Fluttershy confessed as she moved over to the computer and turned it on, “You said the version of this world you were familiar with featured all of us as talking equines, right?”

“Yeah, all your fur and hair are the same colors, you’re just fully equine ponies,” I confirmed as Fluttershy pulled up an image and beckoned me over.

“Did we happen to look anything like this?” Fluttershy asked. I was deeply surprised to see on the screen a well done rendition of the Mane 6 done in a style that looked like a cross between Miyazaki and Obata Takeshi with a touch of unique style to tie the two together.

“A little closer to Western- er- Equestrian style animation, but otherwise they’re perfect. Where did you find this?” I asked and Fluttershy blushed and fidgeted slightly,

“I made it myself,” She answered, hiding her face behind her hair. “Taking care of forest critters and strays doesn’t pay a whole lot, and so most of my bits come from art commissions.”

“I can see why! This looks amazing, Fluttershy! Is this your only style or can you do other styles?” I asked eagerly, my eyes alight with wonder at her beautiful art. I have and will continue to have the highest respect for those who have the ability to make any kind of art.

“I can do many styles, but this is my comfort zone,” Fluttershy answered, wringing her hands nervously.

“I wish I could draw anywhere near this level,” I said slightly enviously.

“I’m sure you aren’t giving yourself enough credit,” Fluttershy said demurely, glancing at me through her hair.

“It’s a good day when I can draw a straight line. Dexterity was not one of my strong suits,” I shrugged, “Everyone’s got different things they’re good at and I accepted, more or less, that art of the non-written variety is beyond me.”

“That may have been true in your old body, but what about now?” Fluttershy asked and I froze. Shaky hands had plagued me whenever I held any kind of drawing tool. Not enough to be clinically significant, but enough to make my schoolwork look like illegible chicken scratches and any art I attempted to look amateurish at best. Would that carry over to my new form?

“I have no idea. Twilight’s the one who filled out my citizenship paperwork so I haven’t held any kind of writing or art utensil since I got to Equestria,” Fluttershy promptly pulled out a drawing pad and stylus. She held them out to me with a hopeful expression on her face.

“You won’t know unless you try,” She pointed out. Several emotions warred within me as I nervously licked my suddenly dry lips.

“I hate to make this sound like some kind of childhood trauma, because it isn’t, but I’ve kinda gotten used to the idea that I wouldn’t be able to draw. If I pick up that stylus and I still have trembling hands, it’s gonna hurt,” I said honestly.

“You’re going to have to pick up a pen or something sooner or later. Isn’t it better to get it out of the way now?” Fluttershy encouraged, her eyes in full doe mode now.

“And the thought would’ve never crossed my mind had someone not reminded me that with a new body there is a potential for new physical quirks and the loss of old ones,” I pointed out mulishly. I hated how hopeful the idea made me and I hated even more how afraid I was of that hope being extinguished. I grit my teeth and balled my fists and I steeled myself against the possibility of failure. I reached out for the stylus and pad.

“You’re going to be just fine; after all, fictional Ranma pulls off a bunch of stunts that wouldn’t be possible unless he had amazing dexterity,” Fluttershy assured me, placing her hands in her lap as she looked on. Then a thought occurred to me.

“Fluttershy, which hand is Ranma’s dominant one?” We looked each other in the eyes for a few moments.

“I…don’t think it’s ever stated?” Fluttershy said as she searched her memories to be sure.

“Given Genma being Genma, do you think he trained Ranma to be ambidextrous?” I wondered, still nervously gripping the pad and stylus. I don't know why I was treating the stylus like it might bite me, but treat it that way I did.

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Fluttershy answered honestly, twirling her hair with a finger, “Oh! I should probably move,” She got out of her chair and offered it to me. With a deep breath, I placed the pad on the table, took the stylus in my left hand which was my formerly dominant one, and sat down.

“So, how do I draw with this thing?” I asked, looking to my host, who was standing off to my right side.

“Right, how silly of me!” Fluttershy exclaimed. I choose to believe that she was simply unaware of what I was seeing and feeling as she bent over to set up the pad and program because I was in my female form, “You’re good to go!” She said happily as she returned to standing position, her hands behind her back. Something about her easy smile relaxed me as I turned my attention back to the pad and stylus.

With one last nervous dry swallow, I put stylus tip to pad. I already knew what I wanted to try and draw. One line. Two lines. Three lines. A perfectly acceptable equilateral triangle was now sitting on the screen of Fluttershy’s computer.

“Feck, I don’t know why it’s so beautiful, but I can’t help but think that it is,” I said. It was just a dumb triangle, yet I was getting so choked up over it. Fluttershy put a hand on my shoulder.

“Even something as simple as a triangle can be beautiful to the beholder,” Fluttershy said softly. I turned to look at her and saw a wistful sort of smile on her lips.

“Yeah, I’m just being an idiot,” I apologized, sheepishly rubbing my neck.

“No!” Fluttershy suddenly gained a surprising intensity, taking me by both shoulders and staring into my eyes. Then she realized what she just did and backed off a bit, “Sorry, it’s just, being happy you can draw now isn’t stupid. What made you want to draw?”

“Well, at first it was because I was just a kid who wanted to copy all the cool things I saw on TV. At that age no one really notices if your hand’s a little unsteady. You’ll grow out of it. As I grew older, my reason for drawing changed, but that slight instability never did. I wanted to draw because my imagination was overflowing! I had to share what I saw in my mind’s eye with someone or I was going to explode! Since I was unable to do the visual arts, I turned to the written word. There were definite pros and cons. I could wax philosophical without worrying about panels. However, when trying to describe something only I could see with my mind’s eye… I felt I had failed every time someone got the wrong idea or didn’t get it at all. I don’t regret becoming a writer. It’s brought a lot of good into my life. But there was always this thought in the back of my head ‘wouldn’t it be great if I could write and draw’. I guess it was eating at me more than I realized,” I chuckled weakly. Fluttershy leaned up against a wall and began talking.

“For me, my art was a way to escape. At first, it was intensely private, to the point I didn’t even show my parents my sketchbook. I could doodle cute little animals and have them go on picnics and things. I’m sure if my show counterpart is anything like I am; you know I wasn’t exactly the social butterfly Rainbow is. Ironic considering my Cutie Mark,” Fluttershy shook her head, “I’d just slip away into my art, oblivious to all the ponies around me. Of course, I couldn’t do that at flight camp and those rare moments I might have been able to draw were often plagued by bullies. I still have the sketchbook I used at night during flight camp, although it’s hard to see what exactly I was drawing through the dried tear stains.”

“That sounds really rough,” I said sympathetically. Fluttershy gave me a weak smile before continuing with her tale.

“I survived long enough for the Rainboom incident to happen, got my Cutie Mark, and moved to Ponyville. At first, I thought everything was perfect. I had animals who loved me and I loved them, this cottage that had been abandoned at the time, and I was able to draw the life around me unmolested. Then the bills started to come in. Mayor Mare really saved me at the time. She managed to convince the bureaucracy that I was a wildlife conservationist and I was paid a small stipend for my work. Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite enough to cover all my expenses. As the collection calls started, I was quite desperate. Desperate enough to try and make money from what I thought was just a silly hobby at the time. So I stayed up for a couple of nights making sure to put together a portfolio of my best work, borrowed my parent’s all-in-one printer, and sent my work in to some online art commission sites, and hoped for the best,” She let out a long sigh, as if feeling that stress all over again.

“Well, given what you’ve said and I’ve seen, you got picked up by someone,” I said, impressed with Fluttershy all over again.

“Not just someone, but a handful of those sites were willing to take me on as an artist and one of them was even willing to float me some bits in exchange for the rights to one of the works in my portfolio. It was terrifying to me that my work could be seen by anyone with a computer and an internet connection, but I comforted myself with the promise of anonymity. That’s changed over the years, of course, as my work gained some popularity and more requests started coming in. No one outside of my circle of friends and my family knows I’m the one who does the drawing, but over the past two years or so especially, I’ve grown more comfortable with the fact that I do have fans and I’ve even been known to host an art live stream from time to time,” Fluttershy giggled.

This was a fascinating side to Fluttershy that her show counterpart didn’t really have. Sure, show Fluttershy had her thing about sewing and depending on how canon the comics were that ‘Chamber of Extreme Knitting’ existed. However, this Fluttershy seemed to have a sort of quiet ease about her in regards to her art. In the comics, Fluttershy had been eternally frustrated by her own stress and anxiety over her creations. This was just my opinion, but comic Fluttershy seemed to have a love/hate relationship with her knitting. Ultimately I felt it caused her more stress than it cured. This Fluttershy was utterly in love with her art and felt safe pouring everything into it.

“Well, all this was really just a longwinded way of saying art is important to me and you shouldn’t call yourself an idiot for feeling the same way about your own art,” Fluttershy lightly scolded me, wagging her finger at me in a teasing manner.

“You’re right, of course. I’d call myself an idiot for not knowing that, but you’d probably give me another 15 minute sermon,” I joked and Fluttershy hid a chuckled behind her hand.

“I can teach you to draw, if you like,” Fluttershy offered.

“I would like that very much, but it’ll probably be a while before I can accept that offer with any seriousness,” I said regretfully, getting up out of Fluttershy’s chair.

“I understand and the offer’s open whenever you’re ready,” Fluttershy replied, calmly retaking her seat.

“Thanks, Flutters, you’re a sweetheart,” I said genuinely, favoring her with a heartfelt smile. Fluttershy blushed slightly and I sensed an opportunity, “Say, I’ve been wondering something since I found out you make art.”

“Yes, Ranma?” Fluttershy responded, her face the picture of innocence. It was a horrible thing I was about to do, but my devilish nature demanded it of me.

“How many Ranma lewds have you drawn?”

“And it’s so easy, when you’re evil~! This is the life, you see, the devil tips his hat to me~!” I had been singing Voltaire’s ‘When You’re Evil’ all the way to Twilight’s castle since leaving Fluttershy’s cottage. With my feminine voice it was entertaining to me to swap around the notes and cadence to make a decent sounding female cover. It had taken me a few tries, but by the time I was outside the castle doors, I was fairly satisfied with what I had.

I ate the bare minimum of dinner to truthfully claim I had, in fact, eaten, and skipped off to bed after my normal nightly routine. As I slept, I dreamed. This dream was a familiar one to me. One I had had often enough that I already knew I was dreaming as it began, yet was powerless to change the script.

I was in a trench dressed up as a WW I soldier in Nazi Germany, judging by the swastikas. My commander was dressed as a Union soldier from the American Civil War and making a speech in what sounded like French. To top off this strange mish mash of wars, I was holding a bb gun of all things. Oh, and my commander was Ash Ketchum for reasons I suspect only God Himself knows. The only change to the usual scenario that served only to make it even stranger was that I was in my female body.

“Quite the interesting dream you have here,” A voice next to me noted and I jumped, startled, and fell on my back clutching my bb gun for dear life.

“Don’t do that!” I shouted before realizing that I had been able to break the script of the dream.

“Don’t do what?” Luna asked coyly as she offered a hand to help me up. I took it and hoisted myself back to standing.

“You know what you did,” I grumbled and took a second to take in the appearance of the Princess of the Night.

Where her sister had perfected the ‘Queen of the Angels’ motif, Luna was rocking the ‘big titty goth gf’ look. A midnight blue hoodie with her Cutie Mark on the kangaroo pocket. Her pants were black jeans and her shoes seemed to be regular tennis shoes. Her casual clothes conflicted with her 'prim and proper' tone in a way I found delightful. You probably wouldn't even suspect she was a princess if not for her crown and the presence of both wings and horn. Thus she was infinitely more appealing to my sensibilities than her sister could ever hope to be. Some part of me appreciated how appropriate it was that I, a diehard Luna Republic citizen, would end up as a simp for Luna upon meeting the real thing in this world. The rest of me was scrambling to try and keep a civil conversation with the woman who, despite looking no older than I was, was at least a thousand years my senior, no matter how sexy I thought she looked.

“So, you are the one they call Ranma Saotome, are you?” Luna sized me up while keeping her hands in her kangaroo pocket. She walked around me, observing me from every angle. Suddenly I found myself in my male form and Luna repeated the process before returning me to female, “You are certainly a fit looking specimen of your kind.”

“Er, thanks, Princess Luna,” I said awkwardly, fidgeting slightly and my hands toying with the bb gun I held.

“You may call me Luna when we are alone. You are staying with Twilight and tantamount to the first representative of your kind, your entire world. My Sister also claims you have something of a sense of humor and it would be a shame to squander it under the weight of formalities,” Luna’s face and voice was completely serious as she stood there, gazing at me. But something in her eyes gave the impression she was taunting me.

“Whatever you say, Lulu,” I teased, perfectly willing to rise to her challenge.

“Would you mind telling us about this dream and how you’re finding Equestria thus far, you cheeky waif?” Luna asked conversationally.

“Unlike most you’d probably use that word on, I actually know what ‘waif’ means and I’m not homeless and there’s nothing ‘thin’ about these,” I gestured to my chest.

“Would you prefer mudlark?” Luna inquired.

“Still not a street urchin,” I crossed my arms under my chest and gave a challenging smirk.

“Very well, you have proven some small knowledge of insults, ragr,” Luna, for the first time, let a small smirk grace her face, matching my pose. I blinked a few times, trying to place the word Luna had just thrown at me.

“Yiddish? No, definitely not… Icelandic? I don’t think so… wait… was that an Old Norse word?” Luna’s smirk grew, letting me at least know I was on the right track. I’m not and will never claim to be a linguist, but if I had heard a language before I was able to guess other words in the language if spoke aloud. It also helped immensely if they were spoken correctly like I suspected Luna had. It was a trick my Yiddish speaking grandfather had taught me as he tried to get me to learn both Russian and German when I was younger. He failed, but the trick stuck with me and so did the habit of collecting random words from a bunch of random languages into my vocabulary. I've tried to keep it out of my recollections just for the sake of avoiding unneeded confusion. I can hardly go from calling Fluttershy 'bella ragazza' in Italian one sentence and then refer to the stylus in Yiddish as a 'פארשאלטן כייפעץ' in the next and expect everyone to follow along.

“Alright, I don’t know nearly enough Old Norse to even guess at the word. You win, Lulu,” I conceded.

“It’s a term used for someone to call a man effeminate,” Luna enlightened me, “Our own version of the Vikings used the word too, except in reverse. I have heard you come from a world that was originally patriarchal.”

“Well, at least the insult was accurate that time. Can’t get more effeminate than literally turning into a girl,” I shrugged, “You ever think how weird it is that we all speak the same language that comes from a similar linguistic background?”

“Given the forces we’re dealing with and lack of clear motive, it’s entirely possible you were purposefully placed in this Equestria with a similar linguistic heritage just to laugh at us as we question that very fact,” Luna shrugged, instead looking out over my mishmash battlefield while leaning up against the dirt walls of the trench, “So, the battlefield?”

I explained to her the circumstances of this particular reoccurring dream and she grew thoughtful. As she thought she placed a finger over her mouth, as if trying to keep her thoughts from spilling out before she was ready to share them. Since this was a dream and her realm besides, I was under the impression that she could give herself as much time as she wanted to think it over. I don’t know how much of that thought was fandom leaking in and how much was accurate to the show and as my earlier encounter with Fluttershy proved, those around me may sound and look like their pony counterparts and even have similar personalities, they aren’t the same and likely neither are their abilities an exact 1 to 1.

“Truthfully, I do not know how comparable pony psychology or indeed the psychology of any Equestrian is to your own. Under other circumstances, I would assume your dream was simply a manifestation of the fear and anxiety you feel for being kidnapped from your home and placed here in Equestria without even your body staying constant. Yet this is a dream you’ve had for several years, always the same. Do you remember any events immediately preceding the genesis of this dream?” Luna asked, one ear cocked to the side while the other remained upright.

“Unfortunately not, as at first I assumed it was just another one of those dreams I have where I remember all the details for no particular reason, so didn’t make note of it until it repeated for the 4th time. Could I show you a standout dream I had directly before this one started? Maybe that could help shed some light?” I suggested. I already had a fair idea as to the source of this dream, but it never hurt to hear the thoughts of a professional so I decided to let her draw her own conclusions untainted from my input.

“I don’t think it can hurt. This is your dream, so you can change it, but I can also assist you if need be,” Luna offered.

“I think it’s best if you help, I don’t know what works and what doesn’t in Equestria’s Dream Realm, so rather than me bumbling about for however long it takes to figure it out, let’s get straight to the point. How will this work? Will you root around in my mind for the dream?” I asked with a slight twinge of worry in my voice. I had things in my head I didn’t want anyone to see. I took a defensive stance with my arms under my chest.

“Nothing so barbaric, I assure you,” Luna replied, her hands opened in a classic ‘I’m not armed’ way made to calm someone, “Simply think of the dream and I will be able to skim it off the top of your mind, as it were.”

“Alright, here it goes,” I cast my mind back to the dream. It was one I’ll probably remember for the rest of my life. It had been…enlightening to say the least. Luna imposed her will upon the dream and it changed. It wasn’t a particularly long dream. There was a teen girl and a handsome reaper, with a scythe on his back, hopping from rooftop to rooftop with a large full moon silhouetting the pair as they ran. They weren’t running from anyone or away from each other, simply enjoying the thrill of their rooftop run and laughing all the way. Soon, the pair descended to street level with its cobblestone streets and alleys.

“Thanks Sammy, it was fun, as always,” The girl said happily. Given the heavy shadowing, it was nearly impossible to make out anything other than the fact she was a girl. The same went for her companion, no features except a slightly masculine frame.

“It’s the company that makes it fun, Natsuki,” Sammy seemed to grin at the girl and then leaned down to kiss her. It was a horribly overblown affair, the pale moon illuminating the kiss, rose petals from nowhere fluttering about in an ethereal breeze, all that. Then the dream ended. Even if was a dream and I had never been kissed before that and still hadn’t had my first kiss, I couldn’t help but imagine that all kisses must be like the one I felt in that dream. The soft feeling of his lips on mine...

Yes, in this dream, my role had been that of Natsuki. I was 13 at the time and you can imagine I woke up with a very confused boner and the ghost impression of the kiss on my lips. That was the beginning of a number of years of very frustrating, less corporeal dreams and trying to rationalize away the fact my dreams portrayed me as a straight or bi girl more and more often.

I won’t discuss yet what finally triggered my breakdown and acceptance of my nature as a bisexual gender fluid, but I certainly wasn’t in a healthy headspace when the war dreams started up.

When the dream wrapped up, Luna cast a sideways glance at me. I think she was trying to get a read from my body language if she could defuse the tension with a joke or if I needed this to be handled with absolute seriousness. I guess some facet of her Dream Walking ability allowed her to tell what role I had played in the dream. Else she had simply seen enough of these types of dreams to make an educated guess.

“It’s not often I meet someone who is aware of the source of their troubled dreams yet continues to have them,” Luna noted offhandedly.

“I’ve always been the introspective sort. Sadly, just because I understand what’s going into the feelings that cause the dream doesn’t mean I was able to control the external influences,” I noted, holding my hands behind my back as I stared at the frozen scene of the kiss. Luna tilted her head in acknowledgement.

“Indeed, just because I was aware my jealousy was eating at me, that did not make it any less potent when the Nightmare overtook me,” Luna agreed, looking past the kissing figures and at the moon itself, her hands buried in her kangaroo pocket and her wings unfolded and almost limp behind her.

“Which is better, knowing what causes your pain and being unable to fix it or suffering under some unknown affliction? What is scarier, the monster we see or the ones we create for ourselves in our imaginations?” I waxed philosophical, stepping closer to what once was my dream self, trying to parse any details I had missed in the original dream. Yet all I saw was a shadowy and vaguely feminine figure.

If when I had this dream I had known where my life would lead me…I like to pretend it would’ve saved me a lot of heartache, but I know full well my anguish would have just found a new source sooner and the wait for my departure to Equestria would have made the torment both better and worse.

“I’m glad we had this discussion. It’s allowed me to get some of my thoughts in order that I hadn’t truly realized were in disarray,” I said gratefully to the Lunar Diarch, nodding my head in her direction.

“I can sense there are still a great many things bothering you, but I shall not pry. However, I think I would very much like to get to know you better and one day perhaps you shall open up to me of your own volition,” Luna said with a note of hope in her voice, her wings fluffing a bit.

“I look forward to being close enough friends with someone to speak my mind with them and not fear the repercussions. Maybe that friend will even be you, Luna. You’ve already made a good first impression, using obscure words with me. I would also like to see where further interaction takes us,” I said as I walked up to Luna and stuck out my hand, “To the future?”

“To the future,” Luna shook my hand and the dream began to fall apart as I started waking, “I hope to see you again soon, you troglodyte.”

The dream ended before I could refute being called a cave dweller or protest that the ‘old fashioned’ label probably fit her better than it did me even if I had just offered a handshake of friendship.

Author's Note

Why is this chapter a good 1000 words longer than the previously longest chapter? Why did it take me so long to type this? Why is Ranma such a mess?

Well, I'm prepared to answer one of these, at least.

The reason it took me so long to write this was because I've been heavily distracted from my writing recently. If you want the whole story it's in the author's notes of Shattered Souls, but basically my insomnia has been worse than ever and the days kinda started bleeding together until I noticed it was the first of October and I had to finish this chapter asap.

I'm quite fond of what I've done with Fluttershy's character thus far. I'd like to hear feedback on her, if at all possible.

Also, yes, I do tend to slip in random words from languages around the world into my dialogue if I'm not paying attention and I'm with people who already know me. I'm told it's quite hilarious to hear me suddenly spit out a string of Russian words in an American Southern accent. It's even funnier for me when they realize the only language I speak fluently is English, for a given value of "fluent".

I also admit I had to look up the actual Yiddish spelling for 'Cursed Object'.

Game Night

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 8: Game Night

“You’re not going to get away with this!” Twilight cried. I laughed my best evil laugh.

“My dear Princess, it’s already too late. I’ve already gotten away clean! Thanks for the help, Starlight!” I cackled. It’s important to thank the little people who served as stepping stones.

“I regret everything,” Starlight grumbled.

“We trusted you, Ranma! How could you betray us?!” Spike bemoaned, grasping his head in his claws.

“I swing into Twilight’s final Yakyakistan territory from my northern Crystal Empire territory!” I declared with a bloodthirsty grin on my face as I rolled the dice and Twilight rolled hers. Finally, after nearly 9 hours, I conquered the last of the Bibliophile Alliance and claimed victory in the game of Risk.

“You people are such a bunch of hams,” Rainbow observed from her seat, sitting cross legged with her head in her hands. Somehow Twilight had gotten her in on the game, but to no one’s surprise, Rainbow had been eliminated fairly early. True to her title of ‘Element of Loyalty’, Rainbow hadn’t seen Twilight’s betrayal coming until it was far too late.

“Half the fun of Risk is pretending to be a mustache twirling dictator,” Starlight commented as we cleaned up the board game. Her face was so straight as she said it, none of us were sure if she was aware of the irony of what she had just said.

“Oh, the Bibliophile Alliance could have done great things! We could have changed the world! Instead you heathens teamed up against me,” Twilight playfully pouted.

“You always win, Twilight. Might as well let the new kid have a shot,” Spike defended himself, his hands raised.

“And it had nothing to do with the fact I promised you immunity for 15 turns and help in that video game you’re stuck on in exchange for helping me drive Rainbow and Twilight out of the Badlands,” I snickered as we walked out of the library and towards the kitchen for a long overdue meal.

“Details, details~” Spike waved me off airily.

“Man, when you can’t even trust your own family,” Rainbow quipped, shaking her head ruefully as Spike flipped her off while Twilight wasn’t looking. The sporty Pegasus just smirked in reply.

“Well, anything’s better than those game nights Spike and I spent playing nothing but two player games. If I have to hear Spike say ‘rook to e5’ again this year, I might have screamed,” Twilight snarked as she pulled out a few boxes of pasta.

“I will beat you at chess one of these days, Twilight! Just you wait!” Spike swore dramatically as he placed a pot of water on the stove to start boiling.

“In your dreams, maybe,” Twilight teased as she pulled out some jars of pasta sauce, “You forget, young grasshopper, I may have taught you everything you know, but I have not taught you everything I know.”

“You should have seen them the first game night after I started living with them. They were just staring at a game of checkers looking absolutely miserable. When I offered to join them for a game of Go Fish, you’d have thought I had just offered to give Twilight sole control over all the libraries on Equuis,” Starlight smiled at the memory as she pulled apart some ground beef to make into meatballs and meat chunks in the sauce.

It was the sign of people who had lived together for awhile that they could automatically go about their cooking assignments without needing to say anything to each other. As someone who had only been living with them for two weeks, I admit I felt a bit jealous of their coordination. Starlight, the next most recent, had already been living here for just over 3 months.

“Well, I’m glad you could save them from the horrors of 2 player games, Starlight,” I quipped as I awkwardly stood there, hoping for some kind of direction. I wanted to help with dinner, but the three of them seem to have it under control and Rainbow was already sitting at the table. Twilight noted my uncomfortable energy and took pity on me, for which I am eternally grateful.

“Ranma, why don’t you get started on the garlic bread? Do you know how to make homemade garlic bread?” Twilight asked as she dumped the pasta into the now boiling water.

“Olive oil, butter, minced garlic in some amount and lather it on the bread. That’s all I know,” I said apologetically, shrugging my shoulders.

“2 tbsp olive oil, 4 tbsp room temperature butter, 3 minced garlic cloves, ¼ cup of fresh chopped parsley, salt to taste,” Twilight rattled off as she stirred the pasta while Spike stirred the sauce beside her and Starlight was on the opposite side of the counter, cooking the meat. Following Twilight’s instructions, I soon had a garlic mixture and was spreading it on two loaves of French or in this case Prench bread before sliding them both into the oven on the top rack and set the oven to broil.

My job complete, I took my place at the table with Rainbow as I watched the other three continue cooking. Starlight was rolling the meatballs with her magic while dumping the remaining small bits of meat and grease into the sauce, Twilight diligently stirring the pasta in what I was sure was the most optimal manner, and Spike casually reminiscing about the highlights of our game while making sure the pasta sauce didn’t burn.

It was strange to me, how even with this current feeling of being an outsider, I still felt infinitely more at home here than I ever had with my flesh and blood family. These people were quickly wiggling their way into my heart and I couldn’t find it in myself to put up the effort to stop them. But I couldn’t bring myself to open up either, damn fool that I am. So I put on the mask that was second nature to me, pretended to eat my fill of dinner, and headed off to bed. My thoughts of family and secrets chased me into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

Author's Note

Sorry this is a bit shorter, but I just couldn't muster the will to write anything heavier. October has not been an easy month for me so when it came time for me to write this, I just had the intense desire to veg out with something almost purely fluff.

The Second Interview

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 10: The Second Interview

If anything could be said to motivate Twilight Sparkle, acquisition of new information would be a foremost contender. A love of learning was a primary tenant of what made her who she was. Yet even with that in mind, Twilight felt the slightest bit of trepidation for her next interview with Ranma.

She had expressly chosen a hopefully safe topic: technology. Yet she was not blind to the possible applications of technology, as demonstrated so helpfully by the humans on the other side of the mirror. Still, Twilight didn’t predict anything that she wasn’t already somewhat prepared for in Ranma’s report.

“I’m here, Twilight,” Ranma announced as she entered the library.

“Punctual as always, Ranma,” Twilight complimented as she glanced at a hanging clock.

“So, which way do you want to tackle this? Should we go from stone age to modern day or the other way around?” Ranma asked.

“From the stone age, I think. As far as we know, your world was devoid of Magic. Even the world on the other side of the mirror has a passive aetheric field. It’ll be easier to dissect the differences between our three worlds if we start at the basics and work our way up,” Twilight opined.

“Alright, I’m ready when you are,” Ranma said as she took a seat.

“Then let’s begin,” With that, Twilight sat across from Ranma and used magic to hit the record button.

“This is Twilight Sparkle, Former student of Princess Celestia and Princess of Friendship. The date is September 21st 1005 ANM. The time is approximately 10:30AM. This is the second in what will be a series of interviews with our new resident from another dimension, Ranma Saotome. The subject of this interview will be comparing the path of technological development between our two civilizations in an abridged manner. For this interview, we will be starting at the beginning and working our way towards modern day. Ranma, begin when ready,” Twilight requested.

“Alright, so for my world, as far as we know, we had zero access to magic. So for us the earliest tools were just sharpened rocks dating back about 3.3 million years ago,” Ranma began.

“3.3 million?!” Twilight exclaimed.

“The first toolmakers on Earth were a pre-human species. Don’t ask me which one, because I can guarantee I’ll butcher the name and even then scientists weren’t sure which hominin species were the first to use tools,” Ranma explained.

“Ah, I see. Early species of ponies could only barely use magic and further they were an almost exclusively herbivorous species. So instead of sharpened stones for more effective killing, there was a focus on unearthing larger rocks to form walls. Shovels were one of the earliest complex tools of our civilization,” Twilight noted.

“On Earth, spears, knives, and axes were the first to appear. Humans evolved as endurance predators, despite our simian ancestry,” Ranma revealed.

“Ah, this is why humans have so little fur! It allows your sweat to evaporate off your skin more readily!” Twilight deduced.

“That’s what I’ve been given to understand,” Ranma agreed, “Even after tools came into the picture, it wasn’t until about 1.8 million years ago that proto-humans started settling down enough to start building habitation that wasn’t just sleeping in the nearest cave.”

“Really? Pony’s ancestors started making primitive hovels almost immediately after the creation of the ax. Although that’s probably due to them always living on the open plains and having magic to make the manipulation of construction materials so much easier,” Twilight mused.

“Given that, I’d guess caves made those early Ponies claustrophobic?” Ranma asked.

“Yes, early houses had very open roofs. Eventually the convention of making lean-tos instead of roofs caught on and was how Pony houses were predominantly built. It wasn’t until Ponies started interacting with Minotaurs and Beastmen that we adopted a more closed roof approach. Even still large skylights are a staple in Pony architecture,” Twilight lectured.

“Well, for Humans, the first ‘houses’ were believed to be basic wooden frames covered completely in animal skins. It wouldn’t be until 400,000 years ago that Humans started mastering fire,” Ranma continued.

“That recently? Proto-Pony species have been manipulating fire for at least 2.1 million years. Of course, we didn’t start cooking with fire until approximately 500,000 years ago. Before then such a thing would’ve been considered a desecration of something holy. A Unicorn’s ability to command fire was seen as a gift directly from the gods at the time,” Twilight noted.

“Huh, in one system of belief, it was believed a rogue god gifted fire to Humanity because they saw the potential in us. He was punished quite severally for his actions,” Ranma said.

“Funny how even across dimensions some things say somewhat consistent. Anyway, we’re getting off topic. We’ll save Equuis’ religions against Humanity’s religions for another day,” Twilight course corrected.

“Right, well, after fire was mastered, people began cooking. Since cooked food lasts longer, the absolute need to be a hunter/gatherer society was lessened. With a better ability to store food, people could gather in larger numbers and more time could be devoted to pursuits such as building. About 6,000 years ago, the first proper civilizations were founded: China, Sumer, Egypt, and the Indus Valley. That’s when things really started taking off. The first forms of writing were created, architecture became a thing, and explicit social hierarchies were put in place,” Ranma continued.

“That’s somewhat similar to how things transpired around the founding of the first Griffon city-state,” Twilight noted, “Since Ponies at that time were still primarily herbivores, cooking was never an obstacle to keep us from forming population centers.”

“Well with fire under control, people started learning how to melt metals and the so-called Bronze Age began. Once bronze came into the picture, warfare changed forever. Given the alloy was stronger than any naturally found element such as wood, copper, and obsidian, any army equipped with bronze had an almost insurmountable advantage,” Ranma told her.

“For us Ponies, our next age would be the Cold Iron Age. With Ponies having the easiest access to magic, most of the other species of Equuis were looking for a way to conquer that advantage. When it was discovered that iron cooled to 0 degrees Celsius could dampen magic, the race was on to find a way to implement this practically. The Breezies discovered CFCs at about the same time the Centaurs discovered vapor-compression refrigeration. With that the Cold Iron Age began and war ceased to be about which side had more Unicorns,” Twilight revealed.

“Funnily enough, for Humans our next age was the Iron Age which is still ongoing. Although ‘Iron Age’ is something of a misnomer, given that time was more about the creation of steel from iron. Steel went into making the usual things, swords, armor, farming tools, etc. However, the real spotlight should be on the printing press which was created around 1440, which was a little under 600 years ago,” Ranma said.

“That’s actually about when Equuis first saw printing presses. Given how often several of the major powers were at war such intellectual pursuits were unfortunately stalled until then,” Twilight sighed.

“Speaking of war, the most important invention on that front to come out of the time period was the rifle,” Ranma recalled.

“Yes, I’ve seen firearms on the other side of the mirror. On Equuis, long range weaponry has always been arrows, catapults, and magic, especially after the invention of Spell Paper in the early 150s After Nightmare Moon. Spell Paper allowed those magically inclined to infuse a single use spell onto specially treated paper. Of course, Spell Paper wasn’t available in bulk until after our own printing presses were invented,” Twilight recounted.

“The next big player was the compound microscope, invented in the 1620s,” Ranma was moving closer to what was taught regularly in school.

“So Humanity has had microscopes for 400 years? Equuis has only had them for 250 or so,” Twilight seemed embarrassed.

“Well, you had us beat in refrigeration. We didn’t start creating artificial refrigeration until about 250 years ago ourselves,” Ranma retorted.

“Wow, we were able to keep things cool, so amazing,” Twilight said sarcastically.

“Steam Engines were created in the early 1700s and the first steamboat was built in 1783 with the first manned hot air balloon going up that same year,” Ranma told her.

“You’ve only had steam power for 200 years?!” Twilight yelped, “Equuis has had steam power for almost 1500! Air ships have been around for over 900!”

“Earth doesn’t even have air ships like you do. We went for airplanes after a singularly unfortunate incident with a zeppelin, the Hindenburg Disaster in 1937. But we’re jumping ahead a little bit. In 1804 the first steam locomotive was created and in 1807 the first useful combustion engine was invented,” Ranma told her.

“I had wondered why I never saw an airship during my adventures on the other side of the mirror…” Twilight muttered.

“In 1816 Humanity started harnessing electricity with the invention of the electric telegraph,” Ranma relayed.

“I suppose without access to magic to create and manipulate your own electricity, it only makes sense Humans wouldn’t have been able to tame it until recently,” Twilight mused.

“In 1825 the first electromagnets were created, which would in turn lead to the creation of the first electric generator down the line in 1834,” Ranma told her.

“That’s less than a ten year turnaround, not bad,” Twilight commented.

“And the first solar cell was created in 1839, even if the technology wouldn’t be utilized for some time,” Ranma rattled off.

“The Reindeer invented solar panels some 600 years ago to take advantage of their extreme day/night cycles,” Twilight noted.

“The next major invention would be the mass production of paper in 1844, which I’m sure you can appreciate,” Ranma smirked at Twilight.

“Nothing like the smell of freshly printed books,” Twilight agreed with a giggle.

“Let’s see, reinforced concrete for building was somewhere in the 1850s and the lead acid battery was invented just before that decade ended…” Ranma remembered, “The first man-made plastic was 1862 and I’d be ashamed of myself if I forgot Louis Pasture inventing pasteurization and proving the germ theory in the 1860s with his vaccines.”

“Germ theory was actually proven some 400 years ago on Equuis. With magic to detect life signs, we were able to tell something was living inside us when we got sick,” Twilight said.

“The father of modern genetics also published his book in…1865? Unfortunately, that book wasn’t appreciated in his time. What was appreciated and subsequently bemoaned was the invention of dynamite in 1867 by good old Alfred Nobel,” Ranma snickered.

“I feel like there’s a joke there..?” Twilight asked.

“After Nobel died, his will stipulated that every year from then on, five prizes would be awarded to those who help advance humanity in the following five fields: Physics, Chemistry, Physiology or Medicine, Literature, and Peace,” Ranma explained.

“So there’s an award named after someone who invented a new way to blow stuff up in the fields of peace and medicine?” Twilight tried to fight back giggles.

“Yep,” Ranma grinned, “Let’s see, what’s next? I think the next major thing would be the commercialization of the electric generator in 1873. This development fed into the creation of the telephone in 1876 and the phonograph in ’77. Then Thomas Edison put forward the electric light bulb. Technically there were others before his, but his was the only one that was easily mass-producible and bright enough for common use. Speaking of Edison, he and a man named Nicola Tesla were bitter rivals, Tesla developing alternating-current electricity or AC while Edison pioneered direct current or DC. Tesla would go on to invent the Tesla Coil, which directly led to wireless technology still used to this day.”

“Conflict sure has a way of inspiring creativity,” Twilight snarked.

“Yep, and on the trail of electricity, we have the zinc-carbon battery in 1886, which made portal power sources practical and in that same year gas powered cars were invented. As a writer, it’d be remiss of me not to mention the ballpoint pen being invented two years later, which is the same year radio waves were discovered,” Ranma remarked.

“On Equuis portable power has always been a matter of pulling mana out of the local area and converting it into electricity and we never had gas powered vehicles,” Twilight noted, “But I do appreciate the invention of the ballpoint pen.”

“Let’s see…CFCs were invented in the 1890s and the first proto-type aircraft was developed in 1890 and is claimed to have flown 100 meters, even if we only have confirmation of a flight half that distance,” Ranma continued.

“It’s hard for me to imagine a whole world growing up in which flight isn’t an everyday occurrence for a good fraction of the population,” Twilight mused.

“And later that decade such inventions came to be as the cinematograph, diesel engine, and the first x-ray device. The decade ended with the invention of the most widely used plastic, polyethylene, and the rechargeable batteries of nickel-cadmium, nickel-iron, and silver-cadmium,” Ranma said.

“We discovered polyethylene at approximately the same time, only 100 years ago,” Twilight remarked.

“Now we’re back at the zeppelin, first invented in 1900, which quickly had competition from the Wright Brother’s aircraft, first flown in 1903 and proven to be a practical flying machine in 1905. Then came the first TV broadcast in 1909 to close out the decade,” Ranma recited.

“Sounds like it was an auspicious decade,” Twilight quipped.

“1915 was when tanks first hit the scenes on Earth, followed a year later by the Czochralski process, which allowed us to start making single crystal silicon, amongst other things. So that was a pretty quite decade,” Ranma said, “And the 1920s were looking to be the same until 1927 brought the first quartz clock, but the real boon year of the 1920s was 1928, which had the invention of penicillin, the turbo-jet engine, and the first demonstration of the practical electric television.”

“You’ve only had penicillin for 100 years? That’s fascinating! If you didn’t have penicillin and no healing magic, how did your species survive?” Twilight sounded baffled.

“We evolved without those things, so the lack of them never became an issue. It’s not like we had magic and then lost it,” Ranma shrugged.

“True,” Twilight conceded.

“Well, then in the 1930s, we have the electron microscope, FM radio, and…the discovery of nuclear fission,” Ranma sighed.

“Yes, I’ve learned about nuclear technology on the other side of the mirror. As an energy source, it’s remarkably clean, safe, and efficient. As a tool of war, it’s frightening. But at least it was never used that way,” Twilight shivered.

“Well…” Ranma said awkwardly.

“ATOMIC WEAPONS WERE USED ON YOUR EARTH?!” Twilight yelled in shock.

“August 6th and 9th 1945, two bombs dropped, first on Hiroshima and the second on Nagasaki. It was the definitive end of World War II. Atomic weapons haven’t been used since,” Ranma replied.

“That’s…horrifying,” Twilight murmured.

“Moving past that, in 1947, the first transistor was created, followed by the atomic clock a few months later in 1948. In December of 1951, the first nuclear power plant went online to produce power for residential use. Solar batteries and the collecting of solar energy became practical in 1954. In 1956 the first hard drive was invented and quickly followed by the first personal computer in 1957. 1957 is also when the first artificial satellite went into space, kicking off the Space Race between America and the Soviet Union,”

“Space Race?” Twilight asked curiously.

“It was a matter of pride for both countries to be the first to put a man on the Moon, considering the Soviet Union had been the ones to launch that satellite,” Ranma answered.

“Put a man on the Moon?! Even on the other side of the mirror they’ve only done manned orbital shuttles!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Like you said earlier, conflict breeds creativity. It also creates growth. In the end, America won the Space Race, putting Neil Armstrong on the Moon on July 20th 1969, alongside his partner Edwin Aldrin,” Ranma told her.

“That’s incredible! I mean, Princess Luna was on the Moon 1000 years ago, but that was done by the Elements and not entirely on purpose,” Twilight said.

“After that, we hit the 1970s and everything starts revolving around information technology. The pocket calculator in 1970, email in ’71, the first microprocessor in ’71, the first video game home console in ’72, the first graphical user interface in ’73, the Internet Protocol Suite in ’74, the Altair 8800 that started the microcomputer revolution in ’75, the Global Positioning System in ’78, and finally the first handheld gaming console with interchangeable cartridges called the Microvision in ’79,” Ranma rattled off.

“That doesn’t sound too different from our own information technology revolution,” Twilight remarked.

“Right, so then in the 1980s, it started with the invention of Flash Memory in 1980, CD-ROMs in ’82 with laptops the same year, the first commercially available cell phone in ’84, and the lithium-ion battery in ’85 to end the decade,” Ranma continued.

“On Equuis, laptops came about 8 years earlier than yours did, maybe because we already had our mana batteries?” Twilight hypothesized.

“Could be,” Ranma shrugged, “Then we move to the 1990s, which had the invention of the World Wide Web in 1990, the first solid-state drive in ’91, the first web browser in ’93, the first smart phone in ’94, the DVD in ’95, and the first portable MP3 player in ’98. After that the 2000s and 2010s were mostly content to improve upon the existing technology, with the two major notes being the creation of the first synthetic organism JCVI-syn3.0 in 2016 and the commercialization of the first quantum computer in 2019.”

“You’ve only created synthetic organisms in the past decade? You’ve had nuclear power for 80 years, but not synthetic life?! Ponies have been creating artificial life for over 1500 years!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Using magic, you mean. Not by deconstructing and reconstructing the very DNA of single celled organisms,” Ranma pouted.

“That’s…accurate,” Twilight admitted, “Anyway, this interview has been enlightening. Your technological history has some parallels to species on Equuis, notably the Griffons and Minotaurs, but there’s certainly enough here that’s uniquely your own, even when compared with the other side of the mirror.”

“I’m glad I could be of help,” Ranma replied.

“And this marks the end of today’s interview,” With those words, Twilight turned off the camera.

Author's Note

Shockingly, I did remember most of this stuff from my history classes. I just needed to double check a few dates and skim for some important inventions I almost forgot about.

On a more personal note, I've been learning how to code in Python. I've actually been somewhat enjoying myself.

I feel like there's something else I wanted to say that I'm forgetting...It's not about Standing United, since I'm still in the middle of working on that...oh, duh, I had my birthday since I last posted to this fic. I'm now an old man of 25. :raritycry:

A Friend and Teacher

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 11: A Friend and a Teacher

If anyone had told me back in my old life that I’d be studying martial arts for anything other than self-defense, I’d have likely thought they were trying to sell me something. I had vastly preferred swimming or biking as my mode of exercise and had no interest competing.

Now I was sitting around with Rainbow and Scootaloo, waiting for one of Rainbow’s friends to teach me some of the styles Deer favored so I could enter martial arts tournaments for profit. Truly life is full of unanticipated surprises, both for good and for ill. I do believe this was a surprise for good.

“So when about is she going to get here?” I asked the prismatic Pegasus.

“She should’ve been here ten minutes ago, but if she had showed up on time it might be the first sign of the end times,” Rainbow snarked, “I’ve never known Summer Flame to be less than fifteen minutes late.”

“Summer lives at her own pace,” Scoots nodded in agreement, “‘A martial artist is never late or early. They arrive exactly when they mean to.’”

“Sounds like an interesting gal,” I chuckled as I stuck my hands in my pockets.

“Interesting is one word for her. I can’t think of too many others who would pick up and move at nothing more than the prospect of a new student,” Rainbow shook her head while wearing a fond smile.

“Wait, what?” I was surprised to hear that.

“Yeah, as soon as I told her about you she got a funny look on her face and declared she was moving to Ponyville. No idea what that was about, but Summer’s gonna Summer,” Rainbow shrugged as she fluffed her wings.

“Maybe there was a scroll from her ancestors portending my arrival,” I snarked, fully believing I was being facetious.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Rainbow remarked and upon my incredulous look she reminded me of a key fact, “Dude, this is a world of Magic, remember? Prophecies and shit aren’t the most uncommon thing, even if half of them are self-fulfilling, a quarter of them are bullshit in the first place, and the last quarter of them are only strong guidelines.”

“Duly noted,” I said, scrunching my face as I adjusted my worldview. It was odd to me how I had been here almost a full month and some of the realities of this world still wasn’t common sense to me. Maybe I was expecting myself to adapt too quickly?

“Oh! Here she comes!” Scootaloo pointed across the clearing, her underdeveloped wings buzzing excitedly. I looked and sure enough a young woman was approaching us. Her coat was a blue a few shades darker than Rainbow and her hair was rich auburn and a lot thicker and bushier than the average Pony’s. Her attire was very plain, just a black sports bra up top and gray sweat pants down bottom. The thing that really drew my attention was the almost branch like horn on her head. She was a Kirin.

“Hey Summer!” Rainbow called out, waving her arm in greeting.

“Yo, RD,” Summer greeted casually, “Hey small fry,” She affectionately messed with Scoot’s hair.

“Summer!” Scootaloo playfully complained while ‘fixing’ her hair. Summer then turned to me and sized me up.

“So, this is the Ranma you’ve told me about?” Summer asked of Rainbow. For my part I was standing still, slightly nervous under the scrutiny.

“That’s her,” Rainbow confirmed, “I did tell you her scrawny looks weren’t everything.”

“Scrawny?! If I’m scrawny then what does that make you, Rainbow?” I playfully teased.

“Delightfully well proportioned, unlike some top-heavy girls I know,” Rainbow shot back with a challenging grin. Suddenly Rainbow found herself in a headlock courtesy of Summer, “Betrayal!”

“Us ‘top-heavy girls’ gotta stick together,” Summer smirked as she proceeded to noogie Rainbow.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Let me go!” Rainbow piteously moaned as her escape attempts were thwarted by the Kirin’s superior positioning.

“Say Auntie!” Summer commanded.

“Auntie, auntie, you win!” Rainbow tapped out and Summer let her go.

“So, now that Rainbow’s ego has been put back in its proper place, let me properly introduce myself. I’m Summer Flame, Kirin and third degree black belt in The Way of the Bramble. Rainbow’s given me some heads up on your situation, but there’s no substitute for firsthand experience,” Summer grinned as she got into a loose fighting stance I didn’t recognize. Her feet were flat to the ground but her legs weren’t far enough apart for a horse stance. Of course, saying I didn’t recognize it wasn’t saying a whole lot, given my limited knowledge of martial arts.

“Name’s Ranma Saotome, please to meet you,” I replied. My first inclination was to go into a stable horse stance, but my instincts started to disagree with that plan of action and I found myself in a stance with my legs much closer together with most of my weight on the balls of my feet. I could tell Summer noticed this hesitation by the way her eyebrow arched, but she said nothing.

“Alright you two, on your mark…get set...GO!” Rainbow shouted.

Summer was instantly on the offensive, throwing a fairly even mix of kicks and punches to probe my defense. I was only barely able to keep up and let in more than a few of her attacks. A large part of my trouble came from that fact that my mind was telling me to zig and my body was telling me to zag.

Summer then tried to knock me off my feet with a leg sweep. I jumped over the attempt and decided to make a few offensive kicks of my own. This proved to be a mistake as Summer grabbed my right leg and threw me. I managed to recover in midair and land on my feet, but wasn’t given much of a chance to breathe.

Summer came at me with a different stance, this one a lot lower to the ground in almost a wrestler’s fashion. I, who had only ever sparred with my fellow judo and karate students, had no idea how I was supposed to approach this. I tried to kick at her head, but she powered through and grabbed me around my midsection.

I tried to stay grounded, to not let her bowl me over, but between her surprising strength and my inexperience, she lifted me off the ground and brought me down hard. A few moments later, she had me soundly pinned.

“I think that’s it,” Rainbow announced and Summer freed me from her pin. She then helped me back on my feet.

“So, I guess what Rainbow said is true. Trained in a ground based striking style but you’ve got another set of muscle memory ratting around in you,” Summer appraised.

“Yeah, that’s an accurate summation,” I sighed, “I just don’t know what to do. I was only ever a green belt, so I don’t have the experience needed to take advantage of this muscle memory and even if I did a part of me honestly feels I’d be cheating.”

“Well, lucky for you I have a few ideas,” Summer assured me as she clapped me on the shoulder, “We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other in the future.”

“There are worse fates,” I snarked with a small smirk on my face.

“Rainbow didn’t say you were such a sweet talker,” She laughed, “We’ll see if you still feel that way in a couple of months.”

Author's Note

Uh...It's still February?

To be honest this month has been just a complete disaster from start to finish and I barely had any time to write this. From internet outages to my youngest sibling coming home sick while conveniently forgetting we still have a minor little thing called Corona going about. His test results come back today and I'm worried.

Hopefully I get the next chapter out before the very last day of March, but I make no promises. And to think I wanted to have the first chapter of Standing United out tomorrow! Life waits for no man, I guess.

A Helping Hand

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 12: A Helping Hand

“Thank you ever so much, dear,” Mrs. Cake said as I hefted another load of confections onto the back of a delivery truck.

“It’s fine Mrs. Cake,” I assured with an easy smile.

“Really, this couldn’t have happened at a worse time. Pinkie went off to Manehatten with her sister just before Carrot threw out his back while watching the twins,” Mrs. Cake sighed as she lifted another box off the counter.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake had received one of their biggest out-of-town orders in years yesterday. Unfortunately, as Mrs. Cake had said, Mr. Cake was hurt and Pinkie was on a trip with her sister Maud and Rarity. I had been on the hunt for a banana nut muffin for breakfast when I noticed Mrs. Cake looking rather distressed.

In my experience, when you live in a small town asking the question ‘what’s wrong’ will either get you waved off with a forced cheery smile or they’ll tell you their whole life story before finally getting around to what’s actually the matter. When I asked what had Mrs. Cake looking so stressed, I got the life story. Honestly it was something I had both loved and hated about visiting my grandfather on my Mom’s side of the family out in Virginia.

So after about 15 minutes of talking my ear off, Mrs. Cake finally told me about the deliver and the lack of people around to help her load the truck. Having nothing better to do, I offered my services as a pack mule. Mrs. Cake gratefully accepted and that’s how I had ended up spending my morning loading up a truck.

“Is this the last of it?” I asked as I slid another box into place.

“Yes it is, and thank goodness,” Mrs. Cake sighed as she put down her own box, trying to catch her breath.

“I could’ve done it all by myself, you know,” I told the older woman.

“Absolutely not, you already swindled me into hiring you for only a banana nut muffin,” Mrs. Cake huffed playfully.

“That’s me, Ranma Saotome, con artist extraordinaire,” I giggled as Mrs. Cake swatted my shoulder.

“Alright, you, get out of here with your ill-gotten gains. I’m sure a young thing like you has plenty of better things to do than to hang around with an old woman like me,” Mrs. Cake demurred.

“Mrs. Cake, I can say with confidence that you are nowhere near old. My mom is old. She’s a good twenty years older than you,” I remarked.

“Alright, now I know you’re nothing but a sweet talking charlatan,” Mrs. Cake smirked as she shook her head.

“OK, I know when I’ve overstayed my welcome. I suppose I’ll just have to find other pretty young lasses to charm for my own nefarious ends,” I chuckled, “Say hi to Mr. Cake and the twins for me.”

“Of course, dear, see you later,” Mrs. Cake bade and I left. There was a strong sense of satisfaction as I headed back to the Castle to get started on my delayed daily routine. I had been in Ponyville for slightly over a month now and things were going great for me. I had started work on getting my own home a few days ago; I was in shape and greatly enjoying my lessons with Summer, I couldn’t have asked for a better person to become, and I had some amazing new friends.

So why in the name of all that was good and holy couldn’t I relax and just be happy? Well, maybe that’s being a bit overly dramatic. I was as happy as I could ever remember being. However, my ‘happy’ was what most would still consider feeling a little blue.

I know full well, intellectually, that telling someone who’s clinically depressed ‘you have a good life so get over it’ is about as helpful as telling someone who has a headache that a bullet to the brain will solve their problems. That still didn’t stop me from feeling guilty that I wasn’t in abject euphoria. Just another wonderful aspect of the mental health disorder we call depression.

I pushed these thoughts aside as I turned my thoughts to happier things. Luna had sent me a letter saying she’d be visiting me soon. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to spending more time with the beautiful best princess.

Summer had also arranged for me to participate in a beginner’s tournament in two week’s time. It would be my first chance to really test my skills since I had taken Karate all those years ago. With that in mind, I spent the next hour practicing my forms and thinking about my future.

Author's Note

I'm really sorry this chapter was late. I was pouring so much focus into finally finishing Standing United that this ended up a bit neglected.

Speaking of Standing United, for those of you who follow that series of mine, it's been submitted for approval and should hopefully be live in a couple of days.

Sparring Slipups

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 13

Summer Flare had decided that it was time for me to get some firsthand experience with some fighters of about my skill level. I had been training under her for about two weeks by that point and I was slowly but surely learning a happy harmony between my old muscle memory and my new instincts.

Thus I was sitting in a locker room in a gym in Canterlot. I had already changed into a tank top and shorts, awaiting someone to come get me. I was going to be having a sparring match with one of the students of this gym. Summer was sitting nearby, offering support and acting as my coach. Spike, Starlight, Twilight, and too my surprise, Fluttershy had all come to support me. Rainbow would be here too, but her schedule as a Wonderbolt took priority.

“You ready, Ranma?” Summer asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I responded as I rolled my shoulders, “I know this is just for training, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit hyped up anyway.”

“It’s only natural, you haven’t fought anyone of your skill level yet,” Summer said serenely.

“Thanks Summer, I-”

“Ranma Saotome, you’re up,” A bulky Unicorn entered the room without preamble. I stood up.

“Good luck, Ranma,” Summer wished. I nodded thankfully and followed the man out the door.

The venue wasn’t the biggest. It was little more than a ring and a few small bleachers. Still, it was more than enough to get my heart beating with nerves. Since this was just a sparring match, the only people in the stands were my friends, cheering me on. Words couldn’t express my gratitude to them as I hopped into the ring.

My opponent for the day entered a few moments later. She was a dark blue Pegasus with periwinkle blue hair, dressed in a sports bra and shorts, along with gloves on her hands. There was also something annoyingly familiar about her I couldn’t quite place. Something about her cyan eyes and the way they looked at me with something akin to amusement put a name at the tip of my tongue that refused to fully vocalize itself.

The referee had us shake hands and we took to our sides. We both slipped into our ready stances as the referee raised his hand.

“Ready? Begin!” He announced as he lowered his hand. My opponent pounced on me with a flutter of her wings. I blocked her first swing but then found myself nearly blinded by her wings being shoved in my face.

I retaliated with a leg sweep, knowing that with her wings busy she wouldn’t be able to fly. She jumped but it gave me an opening to shove her off me, giving me some space to contemplate my next move. She tried the wing trick again, but I grabbed her wing and threw her. She recovered mid-air and dove at me.

We grappled for a bit, my strength struggling to offset her larger frame. Slowly, but surely I was being pushed down towards the mat. I knew if I didn’t do something I was looking at a pin. So I decided to try something crazy. I fell backwards, surprising my opponent. While she was off balance, I rolled on top of her, attempting a pin of my own.

Unfortunately, her wings were a lot stronger than I gave her credit for. She was able to temporarily use them like a second pair of arms to get enough leverage to perform one last flip before I was eating mat. I struggled fruitlessly for a few moments before admitting defeat.

“I guess they don’t train World War vets like they used to,” She whispered in my ear and I froze before biting on my tongue to keep myself from cursing at the lunar minx.

“The winner of this sparring match is Starry Skies!” The referee announced and she let me go. I stood up, shook her hand, and gave her my best ‘this isn’t over’ look before heading back to the locker rooms.

“Not bad for your first spar,” Summer said as she entered the locker room while I was in the shower.

“It was Luna,” I grumbled as I shampooed my hair.

“Huh?”

“Luna used some kind of glamour. To what end, I’m not sure,” I explained.

“And you know this…how?” Summer asked, understandably skeptical.

“As she had me on the ground she said something that she could only know about if she had access to my dreams,” I replied, “Something from my old world.”

“I see…” Summer said.

“And I will have my REVENGE!” I swore dramatically before getting shampoo in my eye. Oaths of vengeance are typically more impactful when not interrupted by a series of swears directed at shampoo.

“Whatever you say, Saotome, but you’re gonna need a lot more training if you’re gonna take on a princess,” Summer’s smirk evident in her voice.

“Everyone’s a comedian,” I sulked as I tried to wash out my eye.

“Well, I’m gonna see about scheduling you a real sparring match. Let’s hope this next one doesn’t turn out to be Celestia in disguise,” Summer giggled.

“A pox upon all of you,” I huffed.

“Alright, I’ll leave you alone. Meet back at the hotel after you’re done showering?” Summer asked.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I said and with that she left me to the warm water and my impotent vows of getting even with cheeky moon princesses.

Author's Note

Well would you look at that, I actually managed to post this chapter in the correct month. It must be a sign of the end times.

Speaking of end times, I went and bought myself a set of weights. 2 5lbs, 2 8lbs, 2 12lbs. I finally got sick of putting on weight during lockdown and decided to invest in an alternate method of exercise. I really hate living in California.

Amusement

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 14

I wandered back to the hotel room I was sharing with Fluttershy, Spike, Twilight, Starlight, and Summer. It was a couple of hours after my bout with a certain belligerent moon princess and I had wanted to take advantage of the gym facilities while I was in Canterlot. Ponyville did have a gym, but a gym in Canterlot is obviously going to be better equipped.

“Welcome back,” Starlight greeted as I entered the room.

“I’m so sorry about Luna,” Twilight apologized sheepishly as I flopped down on one of the beds.

“I will gather an army of mice to invade the Moon,” I grumbled as I stared up at the ceiling.

“Mice don’t even particularly like cheese though,” Starlight pointed out in that way that made me wonder if she herself had once had a serious plot to have mice devour the Moon. I sat up.

“Starlight, sometimes I worry about you,” I told her.

“Why do people keep saying that to me?” Starlight sounded genuinely confused.

“We’re all just concerned about your wellbeing is all,” Spike replied smoothly.

“Well…thanks?” Starlight said.

“Ranma, was that your first face to face meeting with Luna?” Fluttershy asked abruptly.

“It was, why?” I responded.

“Oh, no reason,” Fluttershy said with a detectable note of amusement in her voice.

“Care to share what’s so amusing?” I asked with an arched eyebrow aimed at the Pegasus. To my surprise, Fluttershy giggled. Looking around, I wasn’t the only one surprised by the normally demure Fluttershy looking like the cat that caught the canary.

“Fluttershy, are you feeling alright?” Starlight asked worriedly.

“I’m fine, I just think it’s cute,” Fluttershy giggled again. For most of us, we were baffled, but something clicked for the ever quick witted Twilight.

“Fluttershy, you can’t think she really..?” Twilight trailed off.

“She already snuck into Ranma’s spar, didn’t she?” Fluttershy pointed out. Twilight’s face scrunched up as she contemplated Fluttershy’s words.

“Anyone care to enlighten me?” I asked.

“Sounds like some weird pony custom,” Summer shrugged.

“I have no idea,” Spike shook his head.

“If it’s a weird pony custom it’s probably a Pegasus one, because I’m clueless too,” Starlight admitted. We turned to Fluttershy, who seemed content to let us labor in ignorance and Twilight was too deep in thought. I stood up.

“Right, well, while we wait for Twilight.exe to process I’m going to take a shower,” I announced and headed to the attached bathroom. I cleaned myself off of the day’s grime in relatively short order and emerged from the bathroom to see the whole room smirking at me.

“None of you are going to tell me now, are you?” I asked and their continued silence affirmed my fears, “I hate all of you,” I declared petulantly.

“Ranma, we all agreed that it’d be best if Luna told you in her own time,” Fluttershy soothed.

“Told me what?!” I grumbled.

“Knowing Luna, you’ll find out soon enough,” Twilight said confidently.

“Full disclosure, I’m either going to stew on this for weeks or completely forget it happened tomorrow,” I confessed.

“Can’t help you there,” Summer quipped and I let out a long sigh and I flopped back down onto my bed. I then slipped under the covers.

“I’m gonna hope I forget. So goodnight,” I said.

“Good night, Ranma,” They said and soon thereafter sleep claimed me.

Author's Note

Now, I know what you're all thinking, so let me explain:

Starlight wanted to sent mice to eat the moon to free Nightmare Moon so Nightmare Moon could beat Celestia so Starlight could install her Cutie Markless paradise.

Farmer's Daughter

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 15

I was wandering around Ponyville, only this wanderer was not aimless. I was looking at houses and plots of land that might one day be my home. Truth be told, I was looking forward to having my own place. As much as I enjoyed living with Starlight, Twilight, and Spike, there was some yearning inside me to have something that was well and truly mine.

Speaking of that goal, I would be having another session with Twilight in the next couple of days. The topic would be philosophy and religion. It was one I was very much looking forward to, as I had spent many a sleepless night pouring over the philosophical writings of Locke, Martin Luther, Sun Tzu, Confucius, and more.

As my mind was occupied about what to best share during the upcoming interview, I walked directly into a similarly occupied Applejack.

“Oh, Sorry AJ,” I immediately apologized.

“Nah, I wasn’t watchin’ where I was goin’,” AJ waved me off.

“You seem bothered by something,” I noted.

“Is it that obvious?” She drawled. I smiled faintly.

“Just a little, so tell me what ails you,” I encouraged and AJ sighed.

“It’s nothin’, I’m just being a silly old woman,” Applejack tried to wave me off, but we both knew the lie for what it was. I arched an eyebrow.

“I’m not typically of a mind to let a friend stew in their own melancholy. At the very least talking about it can’t hurt, even if I can’t help,” I encouraged and AJ gave in.

“I’m just worried about ‘Bloom is all. Now that she’s got her Cutie Mark...it just feels like she’s growin’ up too fast. I know she won’t do nothin’ stupid but…” AJ trailed off.

“You can’t help but be worried for the little sister you’ve helped raise since your parents passed,” I said gently.

“I know it’s silly. I ain’t really her mama. I just try an’ do my best…but I can’t replace the real thing,” AJ looked down at the ground.

“You may not be able to replace her, but you’re what ‘Bloom has and from where I’m standing she could do a whole helluva lot worse for a mother figure,” I told her sincerely. She looked up.

“Do ya mean that?” She asked quietly.

“I absolutely do. AB is happy and healthy, which is more than a lot of orphans can say. You, Big Mac, and Granny Smith gave her this opportunity. You’re family, in blood, deed, word, and spirit. No matter where she goes, what she does, or how old she gets, this fact is immutable. Take comfort in that Applejack. It’s a truly beautiful thing,” I said as I felt myself choking up. Suddenly I found myself in a crushing hug.

“Thank ya, Ranma,” She whispered hoarsely.

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” I protested weakly as a light blush came over my face.

“Don’t mean I didn’t need ta hear it,” AJ said firmly. She let me out of the hug before taking my hand, “You doin’ anything?”

“Nothing that can’t be done later,” I answered and found myself being dragged towards the Apple Family Farm. I allowed myself to be taken into the farmhouse without protest.

“AJ is that you?” An elderly woman’s voice called out.

“Yeah, Granny!” Applejack called back.

“Well yer just in time fer lunch!” Granny Smith replied as AJ dragged me into the kitchen.

“Do ya mind if I set an extra seat for Ranma here?” AJ asked as she sat me down.

“Oh?” Granny arched an eyebrow.

“She gave me a talkin’ to when I really needed it, so I figured the least I could do is bring her over fer lunch,” AJ told her.

“Well why didn’t ya say so!” Granny exclaimed and turned to me, “Now you sit down there and eat yer fill missy, yer skinnier than a scarecrow in December!” A

“You really don’t have to go to all this trouble,” I said, feeling rather awkward.

“Nonsense! An Apple repays her debts!” Applejack insisted.

“It really wasn’t that big of a deal,” I said, wringing my hands subconsciously.

“It is to me,” AJ said in a softer tone. I couldn’t really say anything to that, now could I?

“Alright,” I relented. AJ smiled and soon I found myself being treated to southern home cooking for the first time since my grandfather passed away 8 years ago.

As we were eating, Apple Bloom came into the kitchen. She was dirty and dusty with twigs in her hair, but a huge smile on her face.

“I’m home!” She announced.

“And you’re filthy! Bath ‘Bloom,” AJ ordered.

“Can I at least eat first?” Bloom pleaded.

“Oh, fine, but wash your hands and get those sticks out of your hair,” AJ relented.

“Thanks!” Bloom chirped and bounced to the sink to carry out Applejack’s instructions.

“So what were y’all doin’ this time?” Granny smirked at her granddaughter.

“Oh? This? Scoots hit a rock and we took a tumble into a bush,” Bloom replied casually.

“You alright?” AJ asked with concern.

“I’m fine Applejack,” Bloom assured her, “Also, hey Ranma.”

“Hi Bloom,” I greeted in return.

“Mark my words, that fool scooter is either gonna kill ya or make ya all indestructible and I dunno which is worse,” Granny Smith snarked.

“Granny!” AJ swatted her shoulder. The old woman cackled with amusement. Bloom rolled her eyes as she sat down and started serving herself.

“So what brings y’all around for lunch, Ranma?” Bloom asked.

“Applejack and I ran into each other and she insisted I come over for lunch,” I told her and saw AJ shooting me a grateful look.

“Aw, and here I was hopin’ AJ had brought you back to ‘meet tha family’,” Bloom smirked as AJ turned red.

“APPLE BLOOM!” Applejack thundered as the younger girl laughed unrepentantly.

“Oh? Was I perhaps brought here under false pretenses?” I decided to get in on the teasing. Somehow AJ turned even redder as Granny Smith resumed her cackling.

“See if I ever bring you over again!” AJ harrumphed.

“Now is that any way to talk to yer lady friend, Applejack?” Granny ribbed her and AJ planted her face on the table, a groan of defeat coming from her.

Author's Note

So, good news, I'm about 1/3 finished with the next chapter of Standing United.

No other news I can really think of that doesn't boil down to: these last few months have been absolutely absurd and I want off this crazy thing.

The Third Interview

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 16

Twilight would be the first to admit that philosophy had been a subject that, as a young student, had never really held her interest, religion even less so. When she had moved to Ponyville had started making friends from all walks of life, she had taken up these subjects to try and better understand them and their worldviews. This effort had only grown when Starlight had been added to the mix.

Starlight, at least back when she was running her own town, had seen the world in a fascinating blend of emotionless practicality and childish selfishness. Under other circumstances, Twilight might have presumed Starlight to have a severe case of antisocial personality disorder, but her growth in the months since the time travel incident pointed in another and utterly bizarre direction: Starlight had somehow never learned right and wrong existed until it was expressly pointed out to her.

But that was a train of thought for another time. For now Ranma had entered the library, Twilight set up the camera, and their third interview began.

“This is Twilight Sparkle, former student of Princess Celestia and Princess of Friendship. The date is October 23rd 1005 ANM. The time is approximately 11:00AM. I am now conducting the third interview with Ranma. Today’s subject will be philosophy and religion,” Twilight rattled off with practiced ease.

“Not exactly the safest of topics to bring up at the dinner table,” Ranma couldn’t stop herself from snarking.

“Indeed,” Twilight smiled indulgently, “So, Ranma, you’ve been reading some of our literature in the months you’ve been here. I would like to hear if you’ve noticed any differences between the philosophies of our worlds.”

“That’s a difficult question to answer. The philosophy of this world is surprisingly homogenized. Certain philosophers place higher value on certain things, but I can count on one hand the number of philosophers I came across that held significantly different views. I’d theorize it’s a side effect of having beings that live for hundreds of years and immortal Alicorns knocking about,” Ranma replied.

“Oh? Care to elaborate?” Twilight asked.

“Well, for one thing, there’s almost no overlap between philosophy and economics in this world,” Ranma answered.

“Why would economics require philosophy other than ‘don’t lie, cheat, or steal’?” Twilight asked confused.

“From my understanding, it boils down to ownership. Who owns the bread a baker bakes? Is it the baker or is it the farmer who grew the wheat?” Ranma asked.

“Assuming the baker paid for the wheat, then the baker owns the bread, of course,” Twilight replied.

“I’d agree with you, but there are certain schools of thought that posit that the baker doesn’t own the bread. In one argument the money paid to the farmer isn’t enough to pay for the time and labor and that the farmer still owns a share of the bread, because the payment was more of a lease, rather than a transfer of ownership. Another would say that the government owns the bread, the wheat used to make the bread, and the land the wheat was grown from. A third would have you believe that the baker, the farmer, nor the government owns the bread, but rather the distant descendants of whoever the land originally ‘belonged to’,” Ranma replied.

“OK, I can vaguely see where the first two arguments originate from, but the third one just seems nonsensical to me,” Twilight admitted.

“Pre-Unification, the Unicorns conquered the land that would one day become Manehattan from the Earth Ponies, correct?” Ranma asked.

“Yes, that’s right,” Twilight replied.

“Well the idea is that the land that makes up Manehattan is ‘stolen’ from the Earth Ponies and everything on it and that it produces is rightfully owned by the Earth Ponies,” Ranma said.

“But that was thousands of years ago! No one involved is still alive and even if they were, conquering land is something every civilization has done. You can’t steal land in the same way you steal property. It’s not like you can pick up a whole wedge of earth and move it someplace else! People fight for the land because it is desirable, one side wins, the other loses, and then the losing side can decided it’s either not worth it to try and take or retake the land or that it is worth it and fight another battle or else work out some kind of economic deal,” Twilight had such a confused face as she tried to work out the logistics of it in her head. Ranma took pity on her.

“I know that, you know that, the people who originally came up with this line of thinking know that, but the easily manipulated masses will believe the strangest things if you present it in the right way at the right time. For an easy example, in Germany those in power propagated an idea that a specific group of people was responsible for all their woes. It was nonsense, of course, but the people grabbed onto the idea. It was something physical, something tangible they could fight back against to improve their awful situation. But just being angry at someone isn’t enough. You need to be a lot more than angry to be able to vent your primal desires onto another living person. So those in power slowly began treating this group as less than human. They put out propaganda to feed this idea that they weren’t human, that they were lesser. Eventually the public stopped seeing them as human and the holocaust happened, one of the greatest tragedies of my world’s history. Six million members of that group were systematically rounded up and murdered. All off an idea that was utterly absurd if you took five seconds to think about it, but the masses ate up because it was delivered in the right way at the right time,” Ranma said softly.

“That’s…horrifying to think about, even if I’ve seen it in practice on a smaller scale firsthand,” Twilight admitted.

“There’s a term I’ve become fond of in recent years. You’ve no doubt heard of dimwits, yes?” Ranma asked and Twilight nodded, “Well there are also mid-wits. Those that are smart enough to regurgitate the talking points to simulate intelligent conversation, but when you try to move beyond those talking points, they become utterly unable to explain the deeper context of these ideas or why they believe in them so firmly.”

“I might’ve known one or two of these so called ‘mid-wits’ in my time,” Twilight remarked with mild amusement.

“Mid-wits are dangerous insofar as they believe themselves to be intelligent to the point where any contradictory opinions must be either misinformed or malicious lies. These are the types of people who are easily led into cults and once they are there they are nearly impossible to extract from said cult,” Ranma remarked.

“Fortunately for this world, there aren’t many who would be inclined to galvanize people like that,” Twilight remarked.

“A very good thing indeed,” Ranma agreed, “But it seems like we’ve gotten a little side tracked from philosophy in general and haven’t even touched on religion. Sorry about that.”

“Not at all, this was still very enlightening. We can discuss broader themes and religion next time,” Twilight assured.

“Alright, I look forward to it,” Ranma replied.

“And this ends today’s interview,” Twilight announced and turned off the camera.

Author's Note

This one got away from me completely, I'm not even going to pretend otherwise. What was originally going to be a discussion on religious based philosophy in broad strokes turned into a rather more narrow look into economic philosophy. Oh well.

Standing United is about 2/3rds finished. So hopefully that'll be out soonish tm.

Under the Weather

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 17

“God has abandoned us and existence is torment,” I moaned as I blew my nose.

“It’s just a cold, you big baby,” Starlight teased.

“No! This is the worst kind of cold! It’s the kind that leaves you just sick enough to be absolutely miserable, but just barely not sick enough to sap all your energy and leave you wanting to sleep in bed all day!” I protested as best I could through my stuffy nose.

“Those are the worst,” Twilight agreed sympathetically.

As was utterly typical for me, I had gotten sick the night before I was supposed to do something important. In this instance, I had been supposed to close on a plot of land on the northern outskirts of Ponyville. It was about 5 acres of land, which I thought was maybe a little too much room, but I adored the location and the worst that could happen was I simply did nothing with the extra square footage.

Fortunately, Luna ‘just so happened’ to be in Ponyville and offered to take care of it for me. The lunar diarch had been skulking around Ponyville a lot recently. I had my suspicions as to why; I like to think I’m not quite as dense as the original Ranma, but I also got the feeling there was supposed to be some sort of formality Luna wanted me to observe. So in the interest of pulling a fast one, I had been secretly looking up various mating rituals while pretending to be completely oblivious. Turnabout is fair play, after all.

Of course, I wasn’t going to manage to do that for at least a couple of days, given Twilight had gone full mother hen and recruited Spike to her cause. To be quite honest, I didn’t mind the attention, even if I thought it was a little over-the-top for a common cold. What can I say? I liked having a pretty girl worry over me, so sue me.

I shuffled myself deeper into my cocoon of blankets. I have always been and continue to be a firm believer in the value of sweating out your sickness. I know it doesn’t actually make you heal any faster, but I’ve always felt significantly better after a toasty nap and a warm shower.

Just then Spike returned with a tray bearing chicken noodle soup, a glass of water, and some pills to help relieve my symptoms.

“Thank you Spike,” Twilight and I said at the same time.

“No problem,” He said, “You’re supposed to take the pills every four hours as needed, so eat the soup and try and get some rest.”

“Will do Spike,” I replied and popped the pills into my mouth before washing them down with some water. Spike nodded in satisfaction and left my room.

“Anything else I can get you Ranma?” Twilight asked.

“I’ll probably need another box of tissues in the somewhat near future, but other than that I think I’m fine. I’m gonna eat the soup and try for a nap,” I replied with a sniffle.

“Alright, rest well Ranma. Hope you feel better soon,” Twilight wish.

“What she said. And if you get the rest of the castle sick I’ll never forgive you,” Starlight snarked.

“Duly noted,” I replied dryly as Twilight swatted her. Starlight giggled as Twilight then ushered her out of my room.

Left alone, I slurped down the soup, drank the rest of the water, and lay down to take a much needed nap.

Author's Note

They say to write what you know and what I know right now is that I've been chain sick all month. I started the month with a stomach bug that lasted about a week, came down with strep throat a few days after that which lasted a week and a half, and now I have both a cold and covid despite being vaccinated and I'm 97% sure I know exactly who gave it to me, given I virtually never leave the house and the person in question frequently goes out partying in questionable neighborhoods.

The real kicker? As soon as I got my positive test back, the little shit starts screaming at me when I went to the bathroom, telling me I'm somehow "selfish" for not having an attached bathroom to my room and thus needing to leave my room to use the toilet.

Fortunately the Covid itself is supremely mild and I'm recovering from the cold. Hopefully September finds me not as constantly sick.

Halloween Happenings Part 1

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 18

“You know, I could just go as myself. This isn’t what I originally looked like, after all,” I quipped as I stood in the back room of Rarity’s boutique, surrounded by dozens of different cloths and fabrics, the difference between the two words something that still eludes me. Rarity favored me with a dramatic gasp.

“How could you say something so awful in my presence, Ranma?” Rarity pouted at me as she took my measurements for some unknown reason. I had been by the boutique for some new clothes not two weeks ago, but Rarity insisted she needed to measure me all over again.

“Because I love the way you react when I do,” I teased and she swatted my shoulder with a huff.

“You are simply impossible Ranma,” She shook her head as she tried to hide a slight smile.

I should probably explain why I was in Rarity’s backroom ‘tormenting’ her. All Hallows’ Eve, or Halloween for the regular folks, or Nightmare Night for the pony folks was tomorrow night. It was just another oddity that both Halloween and Nightmare Night took place on approximately the same day. About a week ago, Pinkie had come up with the idea to spice up the holiday. Instead of picking our own costumes, we’d put our names in a hat and whoever drew our name got to choose our costume.

As it so happened, Rarity drew my name and Rarity being Rarity, she insisted my costume be perfect. Especially since this was my first Nightmare Night. She knew full well about Halloween, she just didn’t care. Any excuse to go all out, I suppose.

Speaking of going all out, Rarity couldn’t seem to settle on what, exactly, she wanted me to wear. I had also been forbidden from adding my input into the proceedings. I had the distinct impression Rarity wanted to dress me in something very feminine, but couldn’t decide if she wanted to go for feminine demure or feminine sexy. I also had a faint inkling that Rarity had wanted to draw Rainbow’s name. Rarity’s ire might have also been slightly roused when I was the one who drew Rainbow’s name.

So all in all I was resigned to my fate. I wasn’t as opposed to dressing femininely like Rainbow would be, but it gave me a bad case of imposter syndrome, so I tended to only do it in private or when I was in swimwear. Unless you counted me doing my exercise routines in a sports bra as dressing femininely and there is an argument to be had there.

“I wonder…” Rarity mused before suddenly grabbing my arm and dragging me to her bathroom, where she proceeded to fill the sink with water and dunk my head before getting to work. When Rarity was finished manhandling my hair, although I’m sure she’d object to me calling it such, she took a step back to look at her hard work…work that had involved sweeping my hair over my right eye.

“Ranma, darling, give me your best ‘seductive’ look,” Rarity ordered.

“Flirty or ‘I want you in my bed now’?” I asked somewhat sarcastically.

“Second one,” Rarity replied with dead seriousness. Personally, I was becoming deeply concerned, wondering what kind of costume would require me to make bedroom eyes, but I complied.

“YES! That’s it! It will be perfect!” Rarity shrieked with energy approaching manic levels and dashed out of the bathroom, leaving me to check the mirror to see what she’d actually done to me.

My new hairstyle reminded me most vividly of the hairstyle sported by Helen Parr from the Incredibles, but there was a veil of it covering my eye, giving me a more sensual look. Honestly it made me think of some kind of seductive spy, going around bedding enemy spies to get their secrets before ending them after a night of passion.

“There are worse things in the world than being a character from one of Rarity’s trashy romance novels brought to life,” I decided. Little did I know I was on the right track, but a little off on the specific subgenre.

About an hour later I was back in the back room, blindfolded. Rarity wanted my costume to be a surprise until the festivities the following night. So I was poked and prodded and dressed up while my mind conjured endless possibilities for the end results. My every attempt to get a hint out of Rarity met with abject failure. So I went home that day torturing myself by wondering what my costume was.

The Next Day – Nightmare Night

I really shouldn’t have been surprised when Rarity wouldn’t let me have the costume until minutes before the party and further insisted she put it on herself while I was blindfolded again.

“Is all this really necessary?” I asked as she dressed me.

“Ranma, trust me, it’s all about presentation,” Rarity’s smirk was evident in her voice as she pulled away the blindfold. As I took in my appearance, I was surprised. Not by the very flattering emerald green cocktail dress that hugged my curves, that had been more or less expected. The surprise came from the demonic horns on my head, the bat wings on my back, and the spaded tail.

“You made me a succubus,” I said as I noticed the tail moving about as if it were actually real.

“You can thank Twilight for the life-like additions. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without her,” Rarity smirked, looking entirely too pleased with herself. She was currently dressed up in her own costume, a fisherwoman. Starlight had been the orchestrator of this particular turn of events, much to Spike’s eternal dismay. At least Rainbow had been kind enough to choose a firefighter costume for him. There were much, much worse things he could have been.

“Now, come along my little demon of the night, I want to show you off to the others,” Rarity giggled.

“Careful, I’m not a particularly picky succubus; I’ll happily nom on a pretty girl’s life force too,” I grinned wickedly at the fashionista, wiggling my fingers in a faux-threatening manner.

“Someone save me from this ferocious predator,” She said dryly and I pouted.

“I could be a ferocious predator. You don’t know,” I said petulantly. Rarity just arched an eyebrow at me and I submitted. Rarity grabbed my arm in victory and dragged me to the party.

Author's Note

So there I was. I had been sick all August, tried to write in September, but hated literally everything I typed. Suddenly it was the last week of September and I hadn't written a thing. Writers' Block is awful. But then, two nights ago, I was experiencing a particularly bad bout of sleep deprivation and self-loathing when suddenly inspiration struck! Suddenly I plopped down a couple thousand words in the span of a day, this included.

On that note, Standing United Chapter 2 should be dropping in the next week or so.

Also, this is part 1 of 2. Why does this need 2 parts? You'll see~

Halloween Happenings Part 2

Romancing the (Martial) Artists

Chapter 19

I’m going to be honest. I was rather nervous as I walked into Sugarcube Corner with Rarity. It was a mixture of my introverted nature acting up and the fact I was dressed just this side of being allowed out in public.

“Well, Ranma, don’t just stand there,” Rarity favored me with a wicked grin. She knew she was tormenting me and enjoying it, the sadist. It was almost fitting that Starlight had chosen to make her dress up as the Equestrian version of Freddie Kruger.

“I hope you realize, this means war,” I said dourly, to which Rarity just giggled.

“Darling, you’d have to be a player first,” Rarity’s smirk as she said that utterly destroyed me. I was so far out of my depth it wasn’t even funny. Well, he who lives to run away lives to fight another day. With that in mind, I opened the door to the party.

As the door opened and everyone turned to look at the new arrival, I suddenly had an intense bout of empathy for Fluttershy’s plight during the Hurricane Fluttershy incident. I felt exposed. I felt judged. Worst of all, I knew it was all in my head. Yet, there was some part of me that found it thrilling. Conflicting desires to flee and bask in the attention rose within me.

Perhaps fortunately, the choice was taken from me as Rarity shoved me through the doorway.

“Daaamn Ranma!” Rainbow whistled appreciatively before getting dope slapped by AJ. I was pleased to see Dash wearing the Seaman uniform I had picked for her costume. I thought it was appropriate to dress her up like a Navy recruit when she was a member of what amounted to an Air Force unit.

“Rainbow, behave yerself,” AJ chastised while dressed up as a rodeo clown, courtesy of Pinkie. Rainbow opened her mouth and AJ raised her hand preemptively. Rainbow swatted it away.

“What did you do to tick off Rarity?” Rainbow asked.

“A lady does not get ‘ticked off’ Rainbow…she gets even,” Rarity brandished the false blades on her fingers that were part of her costume with a terrifying smile.

“And you all thought I was crazy when I made her dress up like a slasher killer,” Starlight drawled.

“Wow Rarity, you made Ranma into a total knockout!” Pinkie giggled. Twilight had selected to have the party planner dress as a train conductor.

“It was a simple matter with such an exquisite base to work with,” Rarity demurred, causing me to flush with embarrassment.

“You do look really good, Ranma,” Twilight said with a slight blush, looking extra cute in her sailor fuku Starlight had picked for her, “I don’t know if I could dress like that, especially given, you know…”

“I surrendered myself to this possibility when I had Rarity make my costume for my girl form. Maybe not being able to remember my name has given me some kind of disassociation, I’m not a psychologist,” I shrugged and suddenly noticed most of the eyes in the room were on me, “What?”

“You don’t remember your name?” Starlight, dressed as a nutcracker thanks to Spike, asked with a slight tone of horror.

“I could’ve sworn…” I furrowed my brow as I tried to think, “Oh…I only ever told Flutters and Twi…oops.”

I really didn’t like the way some of them were looking at me. AJ was looking at me with mild pity, Rarity looking aghast, and Starlight had an odd look of creeping terror? That was strange, but then again, Starlight was often a strange lass. I didn’t pay it too much thought at the time. I would come to rue that decision.

“Come on guys, I’ve been here for almost four months now. If this were a major issue, someone would’ve noticed something by now, right?” I said and that seemed to dispel most of the heavy atmosphere that had accumulated. The irony this statement would invoke in the future was also something I would come to rue.

But regardless of future ruing, the rest of the night was spent having fun and Luna even showed up as the party was winding down. All in all, I enjoyed myself, even if I didn’t know what was about to be set in motion.

Twilight’s Castle, after the party

Twilight was getting ready for bed when there was a knock on her door.

“Come in,” Twilight said around a yawn. To her mild surprise, instead of Spike, it was Starlight, “Starlight? What’s the matter?”

“Well…remember that magic you sorta told me to stop studying?” Starlight started bashfully, nervously rubbing her hands together.

“Starlight…” Twilight sighed.

“Wait, no! I’m not studying it anymore but…Ranma said she doesn’t remember her original name. But she clearly remembers almost everything else about her former life or she wouldn’t be able to have those in-depth interviews with you. Doesn’t that strike you as odd?” Starlight prompted.

“Well, yes, but why are you bringing it up?” Twilight suddenly had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Starlight had opened the conversation with talk about her research into Soul Magic, something that was heavily regulated to say the least.

“In my research…well…names have power Twilight. Someone getting thrown through the Void Between and emerging from the other side without their name? Hopefully it’s nothing but I can’t help but be worried,” Starlight said as she looked away.

“Can you tell me the worst and best case?” Twilight asked cautiously.

“Best case it’s just something that wanted to take over Ranma’s old life back on her world. Worst case…there are a lot of bad things even a regular unicorn can do to you after they take your name. I hate to think what some horror from the Void could do with her name,” Starlight said with a shiver.

“Starlight, tomorrow we’re going to the restricted section of the Canterlot Archives,” Twilight announced.

“Huh?” Starlight was caught off guard by this sudden statement.

“We don’t know enough about what might be going on here. Until we know more, there’s no sense worrying the others. So starting tomorrow we’re both going to be researching Soul Magic,” Twilight decided firmly.

“Are you sure?” Starlight asked quietly as she looked down. Twilight placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sure. You’re not who you once were, Starlight. The old you wouldn’t have been concerned for Ranma’s sake. I trust you,” Twilight said sincerely. Starlight sniffled and smiled.

“Thanks Twilight,” She said softly.

“Don’t thank me just yet. I’m told my study sessions can get pretty extreme,” Twilight joked, evoking a giggle from Starlight.

“I’ll keep that in mind. But if we’re going to be hitting the books tomorrow, we should probably get some sleep. Night Twilight,” Starlight bid.

“Goodnight Starlight,” Twilight returned and Starlight left. Soon thereafter, Twilight slipped between the covers of her bed and tried to sleep while her mind swirled with worry for her friends.

Author's Note

Ah ha! You thought I was a rom-com Halloween party, but it was I, Plot, the whole time in disguise! Muwahahaha!

So yeah, this fic hasn't been without plot, it's just been very, very in the background. It's still going to be mostly in the background, but it's now rumbling slowly to the foreground.

In other news, this month has been pretty good to me with one major sucky day. As everyone who's followed me for awhile knows, I have pretty bad insomnia. As it turns out, I probably have sleep apnea and it's been getting worse. So my doctor set up an appointment at a sleep lab to hopefully get me one of those cpap machines. Unfortunately they gave me the wrong address, so I missed my appointment and what was supposed to happen on October 12th is now happening on November 9th.

Hopefully it helps. I don't know how many dreams about drowning followed by abruptly waking up after 1 1/2 of sleep I can tolerate.

Forest Friend

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 20

If I were of a more poetic bent, I might say something along the lines of ‘the cold brings people together’. But I’m not, so instead I’m going to say I hate being cold with every fiber of my being. Despite being a winter baby, born in the frozen wasteland that is January, the months from November until March are persona non grata as far as I’m concerned. Of course, I can’t exactly ban these months from coming around every year and I’m not inclined to move away from Ponyville for warmer climes.

Thanksgiving came and thus went what I considered the first major holiday since arriving in Equestria. I had a lot to be thankful for and the final Thursday of November was as good a time as any to reflect on that, even if most of my friends didn’t understand why I was so pensive on that particular day.

November passed away into December and all minds were turned towards Christmas/Hearth’s Warming. My own mind was also occupied with getting my newly purchased property ready for the construction of my new home come spring. Suffice to say it was a busy time. It also forced me out and about more than I would have preferred in the cold.

“Hey Ranma, can I get some help for a minute?” Spike came up to me one early December day.

“Sure thing Spike, what do you need?” I replied.

“This’ll be Twilight’s first Hearth’s Warming as a Princess and Celestia may or may not have just ‘suggested’ Twilight host this year’s festivities,” Spike informed me with a weary sigh.

“I take it Twi’s not handling it particularly well?” I asked somewhat sardonically.

“Which is why I’m here asking for your help,” Spike breezed past my comment, “I need you to bring in half a dozen Douglas firs and then dress them up.”

“And where am I acquiring these trees from, my good drake?” I inquired.

“The Apple Farm, where else?” Spike replied, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find Pinkie.” With that, Spike left in the direction on Sugar Cube Corner.

I briefly considered going to check up on Twilight but figured even if she was stressing out over this sudden bombshell the best way to help her would be to help get this thing organized and let her see everything was under control. With that in mind, I headed out to Sweet Apple Acres.

“Mornin’,” Big Mac greeted as I approached the farmhouse.

“Morning Big Mac, I’ve heard you’re in the business of selling Chri- I mean, Hearth’s Warming Trees,” I corrected myself.

“Eyup,” The older man replied.

“I need six of ‘em for the castle. Celestia decided to make Twilight host this year’s festivities,” I told him and he winced.

“Ah’ll go get AJ,” He informed me and turned to head back into the house.

“Thank you,” I said gratefully and he just nodded. A short while later, Applejack appeared.

“How bad is it?” She asked bluntly.

“Spike left to see Pinkie, about catering I presume, so not too bad I don’t think,” I replied and Applejack let out a sigh of mixed relief and exasperation.

“Y’all would think after the Want-it Need-it mess they’d both know better,” She grumbled.

“Both of them?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Twi to say no to Celestia and Celestia not ta spring things like this on Twi,” AJ clarified. I shrugged, unwilling to comment further. So we headed to the area of the farm reserved for the evergreens. Upon arriving, we realized our day was about to become much, much longer.

“Ranma, are you seein’ what I’m seein’?” AJ asked calmly.

“If you’re seeing some sort of pest devouring all the trees, then yes, yes I am,” I replied grimly. AJ threw her hat to the ground angrily.

“Gosh darn it! If it ain’t fruit bats it’s parasprites! If it ain’t parasprites it’s this!” Applejack ranted.

“I don’t suppose you know how long it’ll take to get more trees?” I asked hesitantly.

“Well that depends. Iffen we wait fer another order from up north, about a week and a half,” AJ replied evenly.

“And our other option would be?” I was almost afraid to ask.

“There’s a grove o’ evergreens that grow in tha Everfree, because Celestia forbid that place make a lick o’ sense, and if y’all help me bring some back, you’ll get your trees and I’ll owe ya a huge favor,” AJ answered.

I wasn’t eager to trudge into the Everfree in the cold, but I did need those trees and having AJ owe me a favor was quite tempting. With my choice all but made for me, we quickly made some preparations for our expedition and headed out.

AJ and I marched through the fresh snowfall deeper and deeper into the forest. Wandering around the twisted forest was bordering on old hat for AJ. I, however, didn’t have quite that much experience. I had gone on some expeditions with Summer or Fluttershy, but today’s hunt for the evergreens took us far deeper into the forest than I had ever been before.

Thankfully with winter proper nearly upon us, most of the more troublesome creatures had gone into hibernation for the season. Thus did we come to the grove of trees unmolested. Unbeknownst to us, our luck was about to take an interesting turn and by ‘interesting’ I mean in the Chinese curse kind of way. Just as we set about cutting down the first of the trees…

“WHO DARES DISTURB US?!” A booming voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere nearly gave us both heart attacks. Both AJ and I searched for the source of the voice and came up empty.

“Who’s asking?” AJ asked wearily, her eyes continually scanning the area.

“I am the sacred protector of this grove since time immemorial!” The voice replied haughtily. This response got AJ to arch an eyebrow.

“If you’ve been here since ‘time immemorial’ then where was ya when I was here about two years ago?” Trust Applejack to be able to sniff out a con. My heart was still trying to escape my chest after the voice startled me.

“I was asleep,” The voice tried to claim after taking just a beat too long to answer. AJ and I shared a look.

“Sure you were, now why don’t you come out here and talk to us face to face?” I proposed.

“I don’t parley with mortals,” The voice tried to sound imperious but ended up sounding more petulant.

“Well, if y’all won’t talk to us proper like, I guess we’ll just take these trees and leave,” AJ replied and we made like we were going to go back to cutting down the trees.

“WAIT!” Out from behind one of the nearby trees sprang what could only be a dryad. She wore a simple one piece dress made of maple leaves that started green at the top and gradually progressed to fall orange, reds, and yellows, and finally dead browns at the bottom. Her hair looked like it was made of evergreen needles, yet also like normal hair at the same time. Her hair was done up in a long ponytail. Her eyes, somewhat appropriately, where a pure green color with no discernable pupil or iris. Her skin, however, was a mild oddity to me. Instead of her skin being bark like or a greenish hew, her skin was a pink so pale as to almost be white.

“Finally decided to show yourself?” AJ asked briskly.

“Please, don’t take my trees! I’ll do anything!” The dryad begged with such vehemence that both AJ and I were taken by surprise. This surprise was only compounded when she threw herself to the ground to grovel before us, “Absolutely anything!”

“Er, there’s no need fer that now,” AJ blushed.

“You’ll leave my trees alone?” The dryad asked hopefully.

“We need the trees, but I’m sure if we talk it out, we can come to a solution that’ll make everyone happy,” I said, “First things first, introductions. I’m Ranma and this is Applejack. What’s your name, miss?”

“Thistle,” She replied quietly.

“Any particular reason y’all tried to scare us to an early grave?” AJ said with a mild reproach in her voice and Thistle flinched.

“I’m sorry…I just…I couldn’t…I didn’t want…” Thistle started tearing up, “I didn’t want to lose another home!” She started crying in earnest.

“Lose another home?” I prompted gently.

“Those stupid Timberwolves tore down my old tree last fall! They ripped it apart! My home! My beautiful tree! While I was still inside and sleeping!” She wailed. I couldn’t imagine how traumatic it must be to have your home defiled around you. Compassion drove me to gather the weeping dryad in a hug. Thistle clutched onto me like a lifeline as she continued crying.

“Shucks, I’m sorry ta hear that,” AJ said awkwardly. If Thistle heard her, she made no indication of it. I simply continued to comfort her until she cried herself out.

“Sorry…” She said hoarsely as she wiped her eyes clean.

“No need to apologize,” I replied simply.

“So what are we gonna do now?” AJ asked bluntly. I shot her a look, but she was right in that we still had business here. Fortunately I had the start of an idea.

“Thistle, how many trees do you need?” I asked.

“I only really need one, but it’s more comfortable with more of them,” Thistle answered honestly.

“Good, Thistle, how would you feel if we transplanted one of these trees to my property and added a few more tress come spring?” I proposed.

“WHAT?!” Both Thistle and AJ exclaimed.

“Think about it, we get the trees we need, Thistle gets a home away from the possibility of Timberwolves and in town if her tree ever gets sick or otherwise needs care, we’ll be right there for her,” I explained.

“That does sound nice…” Thistle mumbled, “But…being around people…”

“My land is a fair bit outside Ponyville proper, so you don’t have to interact with anyone besides me once the construction of my house is done,” I assured her.

“Are you sure about this Ranma?” AJ asked.

“As sure as I am about anything,” I replied and I’m sure that response didn’t give AJ a whole lot of comfort.

“I accept,” Thistle decided.

“Alright, pick out the tree you want us to transplant and we’ll get started.”

Author's Note

Originally this was just going to be AJ and Ranma wandering around the Everfree and chatting for a bit. Then Thistle sprang into being and the rest is history.

Hearth's Warming (Christmas) Prep

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 21

Hearth’s Warming was just over a week away. Despite how much I despise the cold, the Christmas season was still easily my favorite. With this being my first winter season in Equestria, I wanted my gifts to be special to show how much I appreciated the ones who had taken me in.

Some were easy: A stylized drawing of her pony self using the art talents I’d been learning with Fluttershy for Rainbow. A replacement set of tools for ones I’d noticed were in disrepair around the Apple Farm for Applejack. A self-drawn replication of The Amazing Spiderman #1 with Spike inserted as Peter Parker.

Others were not so easy, if only for figuring out the practicality. Like how I was going to lure an unsuspecting Luna into a traditional Yule dance.

And then there were the ones that seemed downright impossible, like finding a meaningful gift for Pinkie or something to properly convey how much I appreciated Fluttershy.

I knew, of course, that anything I gave my friends would be well received. But, as always, the rot in my head made it seem like the lack of expectations was a pressure all on its own. So it was I was musing over these poison thoughts while nursing a cup of hot chocolate.

“Something bothering you, Ranma?” Starlight asked when she came across me.

“Just mulling over my own inadequacies,” I sighed.

“That sounds depressingly familiar,” Starlight remarked as she pulled up a chair.

“I just…I know that a gift that comes from the heart is the important thing. But something in me keeps insisting it has to be something that amazes them,” I lamented.

“You could always get them all gift cards,” Starlight deadpanned and I gave her a look.

“Just who do you take me for?” I grumbled.

“Someone who’s stressing out way too much over something really dumb. Not that I have much room to talk,” Starlight said bluntly.

“Yes, thank you, I realized that much on my own,” I snarked.

“So instead of worrying about physical gifts, give them something irreplaceable: your time,” Starlight said and I was momentarily shocked. This shock must have been plain on my face because Starlight pouted at me, “I can have my moments.”

“Starlight, you’re a genius,” I said simply and hugged her.

“Yeah, well, as someone who sulked around for the better part of 20 years because I didn’t get to spend time with someone important to me, let’s just say I have some perspective on the matter,” Starlight muttered, somewhat embarrassed.

“You’ve saved me a week of losing my mind over this. I owe you Starlight,” I told her earnestly.

“I didn’t do anything special…” Starlight demurred.

“Well, regardless, I’m thankful. I have some things to pick up now that I’m not stewing in my own misery. See you later Starlight!” I guzzled down the rest of my hot chocolate and made my way out, just barely catching Starlight saying ‘you’re welcome’.

Author's Note

The Christmas party will be 20% cooler and the fun shall be doubled.

Tis the Season

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 22

The sun was just dawning on what promised to be an eventful Hearth’s Warming, if nothing else. I had a plan in place for the gifts I was going to give and Luna would be right where I wanted her: At Twilight’s Castle for the party. Now all that was left to do was execute the plan and everything would be fine, or so I told myself.

I was making my way to Fluttershy’s cottage. I was familiar enough with her routine to know she’d already be up and about. She was also the one I wanted to give the first gift of the day to. My sense of sentimentality demanded it.

As I walked up, I spotted Fluttershy tending to her chickens, spreading feed across the yard for them.

“Merry Christ-er Hearths Warming Fluttershy!” I called out, two decades of habit getting the better of me once again.

“Happy Hearts Warming to you as well, Ranma,” Fluttershy allowed herself a giggle at my expense as I walked closer, “What brings you here so early this morning?”

“Because I felt it important that you receive my first gift of the day,” I said seriously, surprising Fluttershy.

“Why?” She asked softly and I took a steadying breath.

“Fluttershy, I may like to claim I’m a wordsmith, but even if I’m not just flattering myself, I’m only good with the written word. I don’t have the words to describe just how important you are to me. You were the first person to greet me when I first awoke. You helped me rediscover a passion in art I had long since extinguished. I can’t overstate how much it means to me that you’ve cared for me. I don’t know if this is love but…I’d like to find out. Do you, maybe, wanna go on a date sometime?” I said, bashfully staring at my feet as I delivered the last sentence.

It was probably just as well I was looking at the ground at the time or I might have instinctively dodged out of the way as Fluttershy wrapped me in a surprisingly powerful bear hug. It also helped get me out of explaining why I tensed so much from the physical contact.

“Yes!” She cried happy. I felt something inside me shift with her acceptance. I slowly, shakily returned her hug. Fluttershy, ever the empathic one, noticed my composure was holding up about as well as wet tissue paper.

“Ranma..?” She prodded softly. I chuckled softly as watery eyes overflowed.

“Look at me. I asked you out, you said yes, and I’m the one acting like a schoolgirl who just got asked out by the quarterback,” I muttered as I rubbed my eyes clear. Fluttershy just redoubled her hug.

“I don’t mind Ranma,” She assured me.

“So much for my cool first confession,” I joked lamely and Fluttershy was good enough to giggle for me. Eventually she let me go.

“I need to get back to tending to my animals. I’m sure a few of them are already wondering where breakfast is. Talk to you later about scheduling our date?” Fluttershy asked with the most adorable blush.

“Of course,” I replied, sure I had my own blush on my face. Fluttershy nodded happily and I turned to leave.

“Oh, and Ranma?” Fluttershy called out. I turned back around, “Thanks for choosing me first.”

“I meant what I said about you being the most important to me and if Luna wants to beat around the bush with ancient traditions she thinks I don’t know about then it’s her own fault if she ends up second banana,” I said with a shrug.

“I suppose that’s true,” Fluttershy replied. She then headed off to continue her morning routine and I set my sights on the other infamously early riser on my list.

Even this deep in winter, the work of a farmer was never done. There was still plenty to do in upkeep and preparation for the next season. So it was no surprise I found Applejack already up and about.

“Morning Applejack!” I called out to her as she was chopping some wood.

“Mornin’ Ranma,” She replied as she brought her axe down on another block of wood.

“I come bearing your Hearth’s Warming gift,” I informed her without preamble. This caused AJ to put down her axe.

“Comin’ to give me my gift in private? Folk might start talkin’,” AJ teased me.

“You’re so funny,” I drawled with a wiry grin as I pulled out the gift receipt and handed to AJ, “I know you wouldn’t much care for anything overly sentimental, so I got you something practical. I saw some tools around the farm were a little past the point where elbow grease can save them, so I got you some replacements, ready for pickup down at Filthy’s place.”

I watched as AJ’s eyes scanned the contents of the gift receipt. She then folded it up and put it in her pocket.

“Thanks Ranma. This…I appreciate it a whole lot,” She said gratefully.

“You’re very welcome,” I replied happily. I felt good knowing my gift would really help AJ, “See you at the party tonight?”

“I’ll be there,” AJ promised and got back to her chores.

“Hey Rainbow! Happy Hearth’s Warming!” I shouted up to the rainbow haired woman who was lounging lazily on a cloud. Why she was choosing to do this when the temperature was below freezing was a mystery to me, especially when she had a perfectly good house with perfectly good heating to lounge in. Even if my brain still had some trouble wrapping itself around a cloud house with internal heating.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Ranma,” Rainbow replied as she poked her head over the side, “What’s up?”

“Your Hearth’s Warming gifts!” I called back as I waved a folder containing them for her to see.

With her usual energy, she zipped down from the cloud to seize her gift. She eagerly opened the folder and beheld what was within.

“Is this…me?” She asked as she flipped through the artwork.

“Yup, I told you all about you being ponies, so I thought you might appreciate seeing it. The first one is as close to the show as I could manage and the others are various styles I’ve been dabbling in,” I told her.

“This is awesome!” She said enthusiastically.

“I’m glad you like them,” I replied with a smile.

“Like them? I love them!” Rainbow shouted, “I’m gonna go put these someplace safe! Thanks Ranma!” And with that she bolted off, leaving me standing there with an amused smile.

As afternoon faded into early evening everyone was scrambling about with last-last minute chores to get ready for the night’s festivities. This low level frenzy meant not too many people gave me a second glance as I walked towards Twilight’s castle with a fishing rod I’d borrowed from Big Mac in tow.

Of course, those that did give me a second glance were thoroughly confused. Unfortunately for them, I wasn’t of a mind to relieve them of their confusion. I was on the hunt. The hunt for wascally book worms! Or at least one book worm in particular who was about to give herself an ulcer. So I had a fishing rod and a stack of copyright infringement and with these two seemingly simple items, I would hopefully put a stop to any stress-related gastric crises.

To my absolute lack of shock, Twilight was fussing with table decorations in an attempt to get them all perfectly positioned. So, I lined up my cast and let it rip. Admittedly, it had been some years since I had last gone fishing, so instead of on the table Twilight was at like I had planned the stack of paper tied onto the end of the fishing line ended up on Twilight’s head.

“Hey!” She squawked in surprise.

“Sorry!” I apologized as Twilight grabbed the papers and turned to give me the evil eye.

“What is this?” She asked with best ‘you are in so much trouble’ voice.

“Your Hearth’s Warming present,” I replied glibly.

“Really?! What is it?!” There was just something so wholesome about how she can go from disciplinarian to excited school girl in 2 seconds flat.

“Well you said you’d have liked to see some of the literature from my world and lucky for both of us, the only book series I have memorized well enough to copy word for word doesn’t seem to have a counterpart here or on the other side of the mirror, strangely enough,” I shrugged. In a world with an Indiana Jones who was actually real and mirrors of just about every manga series I can think of, there was just no Harry Potter counterpart.

“Thank you!” She exclaimed happily before she started to look conflicted.

“Go. Read,” I ordered, “This place was perfect last night Twi, you stressing over it anymore isn’t going to do anyone any good. So go take an hour or two to yourself before the party starts.”

Twilight seemed to want to argue, but thought better of it and slunk off to her lair with her newly acquired prize.

The party was in full swing and everyone was enjoying themselves. Everyone except a certain anti-social moon princess, that is. This was just as well for my evil schemes. All the better to savor her surprise when I sprang my trap on her if we were alone.

So with everything in place I made my approach.

“Good evening O Princess,” I greeted with a flourishing bow. Luna arched an eyebrow.

“Good evening Ranma,” She replied warily.

“Would you care to dance? The balcony is conveniently empty,” If Luna hadn’t been suspicious before, my complete lack of trying to hide any scheme was doing the job.

“And what manner of prank awaits me on that balcony?” Luna asked suspiciously.

“No prank. Although I can’t guarantee you won’t end up feeling silly by the end of it,” I replied and I could almost see the cogs turning in Luna’s mind as she weighed the pros and cons of following me to the balcony. As I knew it would, her curiosity won the day. She took my arm.

“Lead the way Ranma. I can only hope I don’t regret this too much,” She sighed as I lead her to the balcony. She kept a watchful eye on me as I closed the doors behind us and then her eyes went wide as I turned on the music.

“Might I have this dance?” I asked with a cheeky smile. Luna groaned and the taller woman buried her head in my shoulder.

“How long have you known?” She groaned.

“I’ve been suspicious since that stunt you pulled at my first practice bout. Although to be fair, I didn’t think much of it until the others made a big deal of what you’d done. After that I did a little bit of research into ancient Pegasai courtship rituals and when you tried to ‘covertly’ do a couple more of them with me, I had my confirmation. Then the question became how long you would play games while thinking I was completely oblivious. When Hearth’s Warming rolled around and you still hadn’t said anything, I decided to take matters into my own hands,” I told her.

“And here we are,” Luna sighed.

“And here we are,” I agreed, “I also don’t know whether to be insulted you think I’m that dense or pleased with how thoroughly I pulled the wool over your eyes.” This provoked a snicker from Luna.

“Consider my eyes well wool’d,” Luna said dryly. She stood up properly, “Now then, I believe I am owed a dance.”

And so we danced.

Author's Note

So, people have been asking about / complaining about my chapters being shorter and little to no work being done on Standing United. There is a good reason for this. I didn't want to say anything before now in case I was just crazy. My doctor has now assured me that I am not crazy.

I have severe sleep apnea.

How severe is severe? I stop breathing approximately 40 time an hour when I'm asleep. Anything above 30 times an hour is medically considered severe.

Side effects include: fogginess, problems relating to memory, lack of energy, insomnia, and a whole host of other nasty things that have made it progressively harder for me to write as my condition has deteriorated over the last year or two.

The reason I didn't get a sleep test earlier? It wasn't until June or so of last year that it got so bad that I was actively waking up gasping for air. Then it took me 6 months to get an appointment because for whatever reason I couldn't get an appointment before that.

So now my doctor has ordered a CPAP machine for me and it should be here in 4-6 weeks.

Obviously I don't want to wait that long, so if I'm lucky I'll be using one of my dad's old CPAP machines until it arrives. If my usual level of luck is consistent, it's going to be a long 6 weeks.

Whatever the case, please bear with February's and maybe March's chapters probably being on the shorter side and hopefully by April I'll be getting good night's sleep for the first time since I was a pre-teen and as a consequence be full of vim and vigor and thus able to write more than 5 words in a row before my mind decides to wander back into the Silent Hill Fog.

Edit: My usual luck has held. Loooooong 6 weeks here I come.

The Date

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 23

I will forever thank my lucky stars that Las Pegasus just happened to be within easy travel distance of Ponyville the week after Hearth’s Warming. Otherwise I might’ve endlessly agonized over where to take Fluttershy on our first date.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, why would I want to take Fluttershy to someplace as loud and busy as a pony version of Las Vegas? As it turned out, Las Vegas was home to a petting zoo that had some more exotic animals, such as koalas, scarlet king snakes, and panda bears. I had also checked online to see if they had a bad reputation and to my relief they had several recommendations from various animal welfare groups.

So it was that Fluttershy and I were on an airship sitting next to each other and as this was my very first date, I was feeling a lot of things one might expect: Nervousness, bashfulness, and anxiety, to name a few. However, one thing I wasn’t was panicky.

There was a sense of security when it came to dating Fluttershy. I wasn’t worried about needing to impress her in some over the top way or otherwise needing to ‘prove’ myself to her. This was probably a combination of the fact that we had known each other for a few months before I asked her out and the fact we were both relatively uncomplicated, low maintenance people.

“We are now arriving at our destination of Las Pegasus! Thank you for choosing Clear Skies Airways!” A voice came over the intercom system. Sure enough, a moment later the airship shook slightly as docking clamps secured it. Once that was done with, Fluttershy took my hand and pulled me up.

“Come on Ranma! I can’t wait to see all those adorable animals!” Fluttershy’s enthusiasm lit up her face. Fluttershy was always adorable, but with the expression on her face, her adorableness was going even further beyond! Yes, I made a DBZ reference, no I am not sorry.

Hand in hand we made our way quickly to the petting zoo. I had already paid for the tickets online and printed them out, so we ended up in a much shorter line. Truth be told, I was surprised how long the line for the petting zoo was to begin with. I guess a lot of people want the chance to play with a panda bear cub, which I couldn’t blame them. Adorable fluff balls should be lavished with attention.

“So, what do you want to see first?” I asked as we entered the petting zoo. The zoo itself was split into separate habitats that visitors could walk through. There was a reptile house for the cold blooded creatures, an enclosure for various kinds of butterflies and moths, and various artificial environments for all the other creatures they had. It was mindboggling that all of this was built on clouds, but that’s magic for you.

Fluttershy looked at the map of the zoo and cutely chewed at her bottom lip as she tried to make up her mind. Her eyes roamed as she weighed each choice, trying to break free of decision paralysis. Finally she spoke.

“I want to go to the butterfly enclosure,” She decided, “And you pick the next one, Ranma.”

“Sounds good to me,” I replied and using the map, we made our way to the butterfly enclosure. As soon as we entered, Fluttershy started working her charms and soon she had to spread her wings to offer as much room as she could to perching butterflies and moths. I happily took a picture of her with a disposable camera I had bought for the occasion.

The rest of the day was spent going from habitat to habitat. I got to play with a boa constrictor, which was super cool. The panda cub was just as adorable as I’d hoped and the combined powers of Fluttershy and the panda cub nearly sent me into diabetic shock. Another highlight was a lion cub that seemed dead set on using the top of my head as a perch on which he would survey his domain.

However, as all things must, the day eventually came to an end. As the sun was setting, I saw Fluttershy back to her cottage.

“Thank you for today, I had a lot of fun,” Fluttershy said warmly.

“I enjoyed myself too,” I replied, “I’m glad we got to spend the day together.”

Fluttershy smiled at me and then kissed my cheek. I felt myself blushing, “See you later, Ranma,” She then walked into her cottage and closed the door behind her.

I will admit to being a massive fucking dork and had a huge stupid grin on my face and was blushing like a school girl over a kiss on the cheek. I had never experienced romance before. As a kid I had been too cowardly to state my feelings and as an adult a mix of my mental health problems and the crushing realities of adulthood had kept me firmly out of the dating scene.

Still, if a kiss on the cheek was enough to make me happier than I can remember being in a long time, then that was just fine with me.

Author's Note

If you degens think we're skipping right to the sex, then you got another thing coming! Eat your wholesome veggies before you get your lewd disserts!

The Fourth Interview

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 25

Given Hearts and Hooves day was fast approaching and that Ranma had entered into two relationships rather recently, Twilight thought that exploring relationships and how they functioned was an appropriate topic for this interview. So it was she set up the recording at the agreed upon time and sat across from Ranma.

“This is Twilight Sparkle, former student of Princess Celestia and Princess of Friendship. The date is February 8th 1006 ANM. The time is approximately 10:30 AM. This is the fourth interview with Ranma. Today’s subject will be relationships and how courtships ultimately culminate,” Twilight reported and turned to Ranma.

“So, Ranma, while I realize relationships weren’t exactly your forte before coming to Equestria…” Twilight couldn’t keep herself from making that cheeky jab.

“Yes, yes, make all the jokes you want about my previous eternal bachelor status. It all rolls off my back like water off a duck, for I am a bachelor no more!” Ranma beamed happily.

“And we’re all very happy for the three of you. But getting somewhat back on track, I understand relationships like the one you currently enjoy are rare on your world, as per a statement you made in an earlier interview,” Twilight said.

“Polygamy actually has a fascinating history on my world. Polygamy appears semi-frequently in the Old Testament of the Bible with Jacob, Abraham, King David, and King Solomon being notable among them. King Solomon especially is said to have practiced both polygamy and had a harem, with 700 wives and 300 concubines,” Ranma said.

“1,000 women?!” Twilight exclaimed in shock.

“That’s what the Bible says,” Ranma shrugged, “Further, it’s said that David and Solomon’s wives led them astray, into worshiping strange gods. Meanwhile Jacob and his wives were blessed and Abraham was commanded by God to marry a second woman after his first wife became too old to carry child. However, by the time the New Testament took place, marriage was almost entirely monogamous. In fact, I struggle to think of a single instance of polygamy in the whole of the New Testament.”

“Any idea what caused the change?” Twilight asked.

“Best guess is it had to do with the Romans, who dominated most of the known world at the time, and the Greeks before them. They weren’t terribly kind to the Jews and even less so to the Christians who came about later on. So it wouldn’t surprise me if polygamy stopped being a thing to avoid persecution,” Ranma replied, “A similar thing would happen much, much later on in the 1800s where a sect of Christians known as the Latter Day Saints were practicing polygamy but due to the local government hunting them down over it, the practice was suspended.”

“Hunting them down..? Can you clarify?” Twilight asked.

“I mean sending local militias to burn down their homes and kill them and when they fled west to unclaimed territories they sent the national army after them,” Ranma replied candidly.

“Over marriage practices?!” Twilight shouted in indignation.

“There were other reasons, of course, but that was one of the major ones,” Ranma replied.

“Ranma, I mean no offense to you, but your home world genuinely sounds awful,” Twilight said candidly.

“I’m not exactly its biggest fan myself,” Ranma deadpanned, “Anyway, that about does it for relationships on my world: Polygamy, monogamy, and harems. Mind you, when I say polygamy, most commonly it was one man being married to however many women independently.”

Twilight nodded at this information, “Polyamory here on Equuis is almost always a group who are intermarried to each other. It’s most commonly seen amongst Ponies and Hippogriffs, but you’ll find relationships like that in most species. Monogamy is practiced almost exclusively by the Minotaurs and the Breezies. Finally the harem structure is most commonly seen among Changelings and Griffins in both its regular and reverse forms.”

“I see. What other forms of relationships are there?” Ranma asked.

“Well Dragons don’t have relationships per say. The males and females get together every so often and then raise the fertilized eggs together. The only exception is the Dragon Lord can pick one egg in a clutch to raise as his or her own if they so desire. In practice it’s rare for a Dragon Lord to pick an egg more than once a century, if that,” Twilight replied dutifully.

“That’s certainly an interesting way to go about things. On Earth there was a saying that went like ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, but the Dragons seem to put it into practice,” Ranma mused.

“Then the Griffins, aside from harems, which are typically seen amongst the nobility, also have what they call flocks. Typically they’re made up of 2-3 males matched up with 7 or so females. One of the males is the ‘alpha’ male and the others report to him and he decides who can mate with who and when. However, the other males can challenge for the position of alpha at any time and it’s quite common for the role of alpha to change claws a dozen or so times in the lifespan of the flock,” Twilight explained.

“And the flock stays together after these challenges?” Ranma asked in mild surprise.

“The flock is considered something sacred, so breaking it up over something they see as such a trivial thing reflects very poorly on anyone who leaves the flock,” Twilight answered.

“Are there any other forms of relationships?” Ranma asked.

“The Sea Serpents are an interesting case. They swim across the oceans on more or less the same route over the course of a year for almost all of their adult lives. Any Sea Serpent who shares a part of their journey is considered something akin to a husband or wife. It’s rare for any Sea Serpent’s path to cross over more than 3 other’s paths. However, there’s always at least one member of the opposite sex who shares part of their path. As far as anyone’s been able to figure out, it’s some sort of magical homing instinct,” Twilight said with an unsatisfied shrug.

“That’s fascinating,” Ranma said appreciatively.

“Last, but not least, it would be remiss of me not to mention the Buffalo. The chieftain decides all mating pairs and the pair will stay together until the child is old enough to fend for themselves before being potentially matched with a new mate,” Twilight said.

“What if the pair is completely incompatible for whatever reason?” Ranma asked curiously.

“Both parties are then sent on individual walkabouts for about six months in order to cleanse themselves of their ill feelings. Typically upon their return they will be matched with new mates, but it’s not unheard of for the returning pair to try and work things out between them,” Twilight replied promptly.

“It’s wild to hear how many types of relationships there are,” Ranma remarked.

“Said the person from the world where they persecute you if you aren’t strictly monogamous,” Twilight snarked.

“It has changed a tiny bit in recent years, but not much,” Ranma admitted in defeat.

“Speaking of, it strikes me how quickly you adapted to being in a polyamorous relationship, given the circumstances,” Twilight noted.

“Individual humans are eminently adaptable creatures, given sufficient motivation. I’d say being transformed into a fictional character and dropped onto a new world is great motivation to adapt. Or curl up in a ball and cry. 50/50 split, probably,” Ranma said with a completely straight face.

“Well, when you put it like that,” Twilight suppressed a giggle behind her hand.

“There’s also the fact that Fluttershy and Luna both mean the world to me and being able to make both of them happy and letting them make me happy with no conflict of interests or fears of cheating and hurt feelings…it’s quite liberating,” Ranma said.

“I see,” Twilight, for her part, was glad to hear this. Still, she would be failing in her duties as Princess of Friendship ifs he didn’t do a little good natured prodding, “So, any plans to add anyone else to your relationship?”

“I’m not at liberty to discuss that with the public,” Ranma retorted.

“Oh, come on! You can’t say something like that!” Twilight groaned, now made deathly curious by the cryptic answer.

“I can and I will,” Ranma smirked.

“This concludes today’s interview,” Twilight huffed with a noticeable pout and turned off the camera.

Author's Note

Something a little bit beefier in honor of 3 fantastic nights of sleep. Unfortunately, those 3 nights were only peripherally related to my CPAP. I got a full face mask for it, which is better, but the pressure is so low I can barely breathe. Since I can't modify the pressure myself, I'm stuck until the doctor in charge of my case comes back.

Still, when I first got the mask and used it, I would wake up with terrible post nasal drip. A call to my general practitioner and he prescribed me some allergy nasal spray. This is what lead to those 3 nights of great sleep. The nasal spray opened my sinuses wide open and I was able to breathe at night for once. Unfortunately, that nasal spray is also highly addictive, so I could only use it those 3 nights.

Still, it's given me a nugget of new information to share with my doctor, so hopefully it helps in the future.

Midnight Rendezvous

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 26

I was coming home rather late at night. I had intended to be home much earlier, but apparently a massive order had come in for Sugarcube Corner and I was the first person Pinkie had run into who she trusted to know which end of a whisk to stick in the bowl. Unable to turn down Pinkie’s puppy eyes even on the best of days, I soon found myself up to my eyeballs in various batters and creams.

The amusing part of that statement is that you can’t even know if I’m exaggerating or not because Pinkie Pie was involved. Anyway, I was coming home after a long day slaving over a hot oven alongside the Cakes and Pinkie. Truthfully, I didn’t mind it. Cooking has always been something I enjoy…just not the cleanup afterward.

I’m getting off topic again. I arrived home to find Thistle still awake. This in and of itself was rather odd, as the dryad was typically asleep as soon as the sun went down and that had been hours ago. What was even odder was that she was staring through one of my windows with hawk-like determination.

“Thistle? What are you doing up?” I asked as I approached. She didn’t answer me directly. Instead she settled herself for muttering darkly about ‘shouting loud enough to wake the dead’ and ‘inconsiderate meat bags’.

Getting a response like that, I was starting to get a little worried. So I entered the house and found Fluttershy sitting on one of my couches with Luna asleep while resting her head on Fluttershy’s lap. The mystery deepened, as Luna was supposed to be in the middle of Night Court.

“Welcome back Ranma,” Fluttershy greeted quietly as she gently brushed Luna’s hair.

“So Thistle is outside wishing death upon us all…care to explain?” I asked.

“Luna had a rough night at court. A noble wanted her to rearrange the stars for his birthday. The astronomy guild somehow caught wind of this and unsurprisingly was not fans of the idea. Rather than let Luna decide, the two parties spent the better part of two hours in a shouting match without letting Luna get a word in,” Fluttershy explained, “Eventually she got fed up, kicked them all out, and came here.”

“I imagine the Royal Canterlot Voice was employed?” I asked dryly Fluttershy nodded.

“Thistle came to get me after Luna woke her up and you can probably guess the rest,” Fluttershy replied.

“Sounds like Luna could use some good, old fashioned comfort food,” I said and I moved to the attached kitchen, “Are you hungry Flutters?”

“I wouldn’t mind something to eat, but haven’t you been helping Pinkie cook all day?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yup, but I don’t mind. Making something nice for my girlfriends, especially after one of them has had a hard day, is more than enough reason to do this,” I said as I dug out some boxes of elbow noodles. I could almost hear Fluttershy’s blush. I have such an adorable girlfriend.

Soon I had the noodles boiling away in a pot and a homemade cheese sauce my great grandmother used to make in a separate pot. Nothing says ‘comfort food’ like home made mac and cheese. Ideally I would’ve made the noodles myself too, but this hadn’t exactly been planned for.

As I was about to set everything to simmer until it was done, Fluttershy spoke up.

“Ranma..?” She called out hesitantly.

“What’s up?” I asked as I adjusted the heat on the stovetop.

“I…I think there’s something else wrong with Luna,” She said quickly and I came over, concerned she might be developing a fever or something.

“What is it?” I asked with concern.

“It’s…hard to tell through all the eye shadow she normally wears but…if you look carefully under her eyes...” Fluttershy trailed off. I was feeling more than a little confused, but examined the area under Luna’s eyes as best I could.

At first, nothing jumped out at me. She had bags under her eyes something awful, but there was no rash or infection as far as I could tell. Then my subconscious caught it. How were there bags under her eyes? Luna, Princess of the Night and guardian of the Dream Realm, should not be missing enough sleep to have visible dark circles under her eyes. Fluttershy saw my expression as I had my realization.

“There are potions and spells and medicine for helping someone get to sleep and most of them are non-addictive, so there’s no reason for Luna to be suffering from insomnia…unless…” Fluttershy trailed off again and I recalled the Tantabus incident.

“You’re worried she’s using it again?” I asked.

“I don’t know…I want to trust her, but at the same time if she’s hurting herself again, especially now that we’re in a relationship…but if she isn’t and she’s losing sleep for some other, completely innocent reason and I bring it up again she’ll feel like I don’t trust her!” Fluttershy made her dilemma known to me.

“Leave it to me Fluttershy. I’m somewhat removed from the incident, so if I ask she’s less likely to get defensive, if I even have to ask at all,” I assured her.

“Thank you Ranma,” She said, looking relieved.

“No problem. I admit I’m slightly worried myself, if for no other reason than my own history with chronic insomnia,” I told her.

Soon thereafter, the food was ready.

“Luna, it’s time to wake up,” Fluttershy nudged the slumbering princess gently. Luna let out a quiet groan. She clearly wanted to go back to sleep, but her brain had woken up just enough to smell food and her stomach growled. Thus the ancient war between two of the three most primal desires of living things played out once again, the war between the desire for more sleep and the desire for food.

Fluttershy and I watched with a certain fondness as food won the day and Luna groaned louder before sitting up, freeing Fluttershy from her lap pillow duties. She rubbed the bleariness out of her eyes and yawned.

“What time is it?” She asked as she stretched the kinks out of her muscles from sleeping in such an awkward position.

“About half past eleven,” Fluttershy answered. Luna groaned again, this time of annoyance.

“I’m not looking forward to going back to Canterlot. It’s only a matter of time before Tia gives me the whole ‘concerned big sister’ routine,” She grumbled.

“Fluttershy told me what happened. I admit I’m a little concerned myself,” I told her, “Your makeup can’t quite hide those bags under your eyes Lulu.”

“Blame Tia,” Luna said shortly.

“Care to elaborate over a bowl of fresh made mac and cheese?” I tempted her. Another growl from her stomach answered for her.

“Yes please,” Luna blushed. I served up three bowls and we sat at the table to eat. After a few mouthfuls Luna started talking.

“Tia’s decided she want to ‘improve diplomatic relationships’ with the Minotaurs and so is going to spend about a month in their capital, Istanbull...which is right next to some of the best beaches in the world,” Luna told us.

“You think it’s a working vacation?” I asked and Luna nodded.

“I wouldn’t normally begrudge her doing such, but due to how sudden this decision was and how long she’ll be away, I’ve been left holding the bag. I’ve been filling out so much required paperwork and attending to other preparations that even my usual tricks for being active during both day and night are failing me. Thus these circles under my eyes and my temper being somewhat shorter than usual,” Luna explained.

After Luna laid bare her woes, I noticed Fluttershy relax as her fears were laid to rest.

“Well, you should probably apologize to Thistle. If she hasn’t gone to sleep by now, she’s still cursing your name for waking her up,” I told Luna and she grimaced.

“I should, shouldn’t I? Hopefully she can forgive me,” Luna sighed.

“I’m sure she’ll understand,” Fluttershy said optimistically.

After that, the conversation becomes much more mundane. What books we had recently read, what projects we were working on, what mess the Bearers of the Elements had gotten into this week, things like that.

There is a simple pleasure I can’t overstate to talking about nothing in particular with loved ones around a hot meal. Especially for someone like me who spent most of his life the special kind of isolation brought about by my specific mental illnesses and a family that was less than supportive.

If there ever comes a day where I take the companionship of these wonderful people for granted, it will be both a very sad day and a uniquely happy one. It will mean that such feelings of love and companionship will have been in my heart so frequently that it stops being the exception. That loneliness is no longer my constant companion and instead a fading memory...if the day comes that I no longer wax poetic about these feelings in my heart, then I will count myself amongst the truly blessed.

Author's Note

Forgive me, I still don't understand the difference between mascara and eyeshadow, so if I mixed up the two, please correct me.

Nothing else to really report. Still waiting for my sleep doctor to return.

A New Skill

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 27

After Luna’s nighttime outburst, it was a few days before Thistle deigned to forgive her, but eventually forgive her she did. Quietly, as someone who had suffered from long term insomnia, I was halfway to agreeing with the dryad’s ire. In any case, things ended happily enough and I was content to put it from my mind. I had other things to be concerned with.

There was, of course, the matter of Luna taking on the responsibilities of keeping Canterlot running while Celestia was away. Thankfully after our late night chat and bowl of mac and cheese, she seemed to be in a much better place to deal with that particular issue.

The other major thing on my mind was that Summer had finally decided my training was at the point she felt I could start participating in rookie level tournaments. The tournament she had signed me up for was a little over two weeks away and I was diligently training.

The rules were fairly straightforward; it would be a single elimination MMA style match with the only restriction being no tools or weapons. This brought me to my current conundrum. How was I going to deal with magic?

While I could use magic, I had to rely on runes and potions. I had no way to channel magic through my body naturally like a Pegasus does with their wings or a Unicorn with their horn. The most obvious solution would be to use chi attacks, but there was an issue I was wracking my brain trying to overcome.

The most universally applicable of Ranma’s repertoire of chi attacks was no doubt the Moko Takabisha. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the boundless confidence the real Ranma possessed. Likewise, while I certainly had my moments in the past, my depression had never been consistently bad enough to fuel a shishi hokodan, let alone use it consistently in a fight.

So naturally the solution would be to find an emotion I personally resonated with enough to create my own variation of the attack. This was easier said than done. So it was I was pounding on a training dummy while trying to do enough self-reflection to find the answer to my problem.

My mind initially considered avarice as a potential fuel source, which probably says more about my opinion of myself than I want it to. In any case, it was quickly dismissed. As much as I thought I could be greedy, it didn’t fill me up nearly enough to materialize a chi blast.

I tried and discarded several different emotions, some positive and some negative, until I tried hope. There was a spark there. Not quite right, but I could feel I was getting close. What was like hope, but not exactly hope?

I ruminated on this for a little while before it hit me. What is the hope for a better tomorrow without the determination to survive until the dawn? What is hope without the determination to see all the obstacles before you and press on regardless? Even in my darkest hours there had been a core of determination at my center that saw me through.

I focused my thoughts and my chi and in my hand a small orange orb flickered in and out of existence. I was overjoyed, but tapered down on my excitement and tired to focus on my determination to win the tournament with this new skill. Of course, it would take more than this, but with renewed dedication, I resumed training. Now all I had to do was think up a silly name for my attack.

Author's Note

My sleep specialist has vanished off the face of the earth. My new one won't be available until July 21st.

A First Outing

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 28

The day was here. The time was now. My first tournament was about to begin and I was about to enter the ring and find out who my first opponent would be. I had no delusions about winning. My determination blast might be generally useful, but it could still be dodged, blocked, and probably deflected back at me by magic users.

I did theoretically know the hiryu shoten ha, but that move was all but worthless. Even if by some miracle I did manage to trick someone into following me into the spiral, it would only ever work once. It didn’t take a genius to notice when someone is moving in a very deliberate way before doing something.

Still, despite how pessimistic I sound, I had hope that I’d at least take a couple of victories. Summer had trained me well, after all, and she wouldn’t throw me into a tournament just to see me fail…right? Probably best not to dwell on that question…

In any event, I entered the ring and found myself face to face with a mountain of muscle. Even my male form was utterly dwarfed by this gargantuan griffin. Trading blows with this guy was not an option.

The referee brought us to the center of the ring and had us shake hands and reminded us of the rules before sending us back to our corners. Soon thereafter the bell rang, signaling the start of the first round.

We approached each other, sizing each other up. Shockingly, I did not want to make a wrong move and get KO’d instantly, so I was hesitant to engage first. Thankfully, my opponent was more than happy to take the initiative and lunged at me with an open palmed strike.

I slipped around the attack and used my speed to hammer as many hits into his abdomen as I could. I figured if it worked on Ryoga after his shatter point training, there’d be no reason it wouldn’t work on this guy, assuming I survived that long.

He tried to grab me but I danced away from his grasp. He retaliated by using his wings to buffet me with powerful winds to knock me off balance. I got clotheslined and hit the mat hard. A body slam would’ve turned me into a smear, but I was able to roll out in time and got back on my feet.

As he was getting back up, I launched a chi blast that I am as of now too embarrassed to name. It caught him on the chin and he went skidding back. I pounced on the chance to hammer away at his abdomen again as he was rebounding off the rope. He took a swipe at me and I backed off. He got back into position, but I could tell he was hurting.

Unfortunately, getting slammed into the mat earlier wasn’t exactly doing me any favors either. I had to start thinking about ending this fight. I let off another chi blast which he took full force, raising his arms to protect himself as much as he could. I followed up immediately by throwing all I could into one more assault on his abdomen.

I jumped away, panting heavily, hoping I’d done enough. Mercifully, my opponent fell to his knee, holding his abused abs, and tapped out.

After a few moments to collect himself, the ref brought us both back to the middle and we shook hands again.

“Good fight,” I said and he nodded in agreement. I can respect a man of few words.

My next opponent was the completely opposite of my first, a Pegasus mare who was even smaller than my female form. Her coat was sea green and her mane was sky blue.

“Hi! I’m Slip Stream! What’s your name?” She greeted eagerly.

“I’m Ranma,” I replied cordially.

“That’s a nice name Ranma! What fighting style do you use?” She asked blithely. I blinked.

“How dumb do you think I am?” I asked. She shrugged carelessly.

“You’d be surprised how often that works,” She said plainly. I gave her a flat look as the ref had us shake. She returned it with a wide grin as the fight began.

If Rainbow Dash prided herself for being the fastest flier in Equestria, then this girl might just be the fastest thing on land. Even in the limited space of the ring I was having trouble keeping track of her. She was moving so fast I was having trouble answering the flurry of blows she was landing on me.

However, despite the number of hits, she actually wasn’t hurting me all that much. Why? Force equals mass times acceleration. Slip had very little mass behind her punches and on top of that while her feet were giving her all the acceleration in the world, she slowed down just enough when she started punching that her offense felt extremely lacking.

“Give up! You can’t beat what you can’t catch!” Slip Stream crowed.

“Is that so?” I wondered and if we weren’t confined to a ring, she might very well have been right. But the limited area of the ring meant there were only so many places she could possibly be. That meant all I had to do was react quickly enough to one of her attacks.

I weathered her blows until the opportunity presented itself. She attacked on my left forward side and I was just barely able to grab her arm as she threw one of her flurry of punches.

“Gotcha!” I exclaimed with a grin.

“Uh oh…” Was her witty reply as I lifted her over my head and slammed her down onto the mat. I wasn’t about to give her the opportunity to get back up and resume her relentless assault. Not letting go of her arm, I flipped her on her front and pinned her arm behind her.

“Yield!” I ordered from on top of her.

“Alright, alright, I give!” She surrendered and I let her up as the ref called the match in my favor.

“Good fight,” I said.

“Yeah, you too, ow…” She groaned as she rubbed her shoulder, “But don’t think this is the last you’ve heard of me!”

“What are you, a Saturday morning cartoon villain?” I teased.

“You don’t know that I’m not,” She replied cheekily and left.
________________________________

My third match was one I had been dreading. I was matched up against a unicorn. His coat was black and his mane was neon blue.

“Hi, I’m Magma Star,” He introduced himself politely.

“I’m Ranma Saotome,” I returned as the ref had us shake hands. As soon as we returned to our corners and the fight began, Magma ignited his horn and his fists became shrouded in a dark purple aura which I presumed was supposed to act like boxing gloves.

We approached each other and traded a few blows to test each other’s guard, but as we did that I immediately felt something was wrong. Suddenly it felt like I was trying to move through molasses. I knew it was some kind of enfeeblement spell, but that knowledge wasn’t exactly helpful.

I threw out a chi attack in the hopes that I could disrupt his spell, assuming it was even the kind of spell that needed to be maintained, but I was slowed down to the point that he was able to easily sidestep my attack.

I put up as much of a fight as I could, but with my speed and mobility severely curtailed, Magma was able to relentlessly land blow after blow.

Eventually I was put on the ground and the ref called the fight. Magma ended the spell, we shook hands, and I headed to the locker room. Summer was there waiting for me.

“What have we learned today?” She asked me.

“That magic is way too strong and I don’t hit nearly as hard as I thought I did,” I snarked as I tried to rub the newfound soreness out of my arms. Summer gave me a flat look, “That chi doesn’t act as a natural counter to spells the same way someone’s inherit magic does.”

“Good. Now what are you going to do about it?” Summer asked.

“Either I figure out how to use chi as a substitute to overcome spells and people’s natural resistances or I train to the point that I can win even under enfeeblement spells and overcome people’s natural resistances,” I replied. I had been mulling this problem over for awhile now, but this tournament had really crystallized the issue in my mind.

“Not unreasonable solutions,” Summer replied, “In any case, you did better than I expected today.”

“Gee, thanks,” I drawled sarcastically. Summer smiled slightly.

“We’ll get you there one way or another Ranma,” She assured me, “But for now, let’s get you home. I’m sure your girlfriends are waiting to patch you up.”

“You’re being very cheeky today,” I grumbled.

“Am I? You must be imagining it,” Summer replied breezily. I decided I had enough aches at the moment without adding a headache and left it alone, hoping it wouldn’t come back to haunt me.

Author's Note

So, mixed news. On the one hand, I was able to finally talk to a sleep specialist. On the other hand, she barely spoke English and we could hardly understand each other. I got a new appointment in September.

Fortunately, the one thing the doctor was able to get across was that I was freaking lied to about my CPAP machine not having user-side control. It's just hidden behind pressing multiple buttons at the same time and holding them down for 10-20 seconds.

So at least now I can start experimenting with pressures and humidity to see what suits me so I might actually be able to start using the thing before the year is out. So yay, progress!

_______________________________________________________________________________________

In other news, I've gotten about half of the chapter for Standing United finished, so yay progress!

Expert Aid

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 29

When it came to solving magic based problems, there was really only one woman for the job. With my infantile grasp of using my chi and my lackluster knowledge of the mechanics behind magic I had no hope of coming up with a way of dealing with magical opponents on my own. So it was I found myself in the familiar setting of Twilight Sparkle’s castle/home. Upon entering I soon ran into a certain scaled member of the Sparkle household.

“Morning Spike,” I greeted.

“Hey Ranma,” He returned, “What brings you here this early?”

“I was hoping to get a moment of Twilight’s time. I’ve got a problem related to magic and no one does magic better than Twi,” I replied and he nodded in understanding.

“Well, let’s go see if she’s snapped out of her coffee fugue state,” Spike joked and I knew better than to voice my opinion on the disgusting bean water. Not if I wanted help today. So I held my tongue and followed Spike to the kitchen and found Twilight there clutching her cup of coffee like a life preserver.

“Morning Twilight,” I said.

“M-morning Ranma,” Twilight replied around an impressive yawn.

“Long night?” I asked and Twilight nodded as she yawned again before taking a sip of her coffee.

“I’ll be fine,” Twilight assured me before taking a bigger swig of her bean water, “So, what brings you here Ranma?”

“It’s come to my attention that Chi isn’t a suitable replacement for the passive magic inherent to natural born denizens of Equuis. I got hit with some kind of enfeebling spell during my tournament and I couldn’t do anything at all about it. I either need to find a way to train my Chi to be able to better throw off magic or some other solution,” I told her, her ears pricking up as I explained my dilemma.

“Well, I’ve been meaning to ask you over to examine your Chi anyway, so this works out perfectly!” Twilight said happily as she gulped down the rest of her caffeinated beverage. Without ceremony, she dragged me down to her laboratory. In short order I found myself connected to all sorts of equipment and sensors of all kinds pointed at me as Twilight sat down at her computer.

“Alright Ranma, if you would summon your Chi,” Twilight requested and I did so, willing a small orb to manifest in the palm of my hand.

“How long do I need to hold this for?” I asked.

“Ten minutes should suffice,” Twilight replied as she typed away at her keyboard.

Ten minutes later and I was fairly bored of standing around with my hand out maintaining the chi ball.

“Alright, you can stop now Ranma,” Twilight finally told me. I let the Chi dissipate and my tired arm fell to my side.

“So what’s the news, doc?” I asked as Twilight unhooked me from her machines.

“Chi appears to have a similar wavelength to magic, however it is much less energized. An orb of magic the same size as your orb of chi would typically hold about five times the energy,” Twilight answered.

“Well if the energy density is that low and the energies are roughly synonymous then that explains why I wasn’t able to offer much resistance,” I sighed, “My Chi just got completely washed out.”

“That seems to be the case, yes,” Twilight agreed.

“Is there any way to increase the energy density?” I asked.

“Maybe…Chi isn’t exactly like Magic, so I can’t say anything definitively without going over all the data I collected,” Twilight admitted.

“Is there anything I can do?” I offered.

“Come back in a few days. I’ll probably have more tests to run on you then,” Twilight replied and sat back down at her computer and started typing away again. Taking the dismissal for what it was, I left.

Now I had to wonder what I was going to do with myself for the next few days. Patience was not one of my strongest qualities. Typically if I was waiting for something I tried to forget about it until the time came. Unfortunately, much like trying not to think about the pink elephant, the more you try not to think about it, the more it appears in your thoughts.

Well, this was Ponyville. I’m sure something interesting will happen sooner or later. I just have to find it.

Author's Note

Just as one problem seems to be resolving itself, three more take their place. I've learned that I'm heavily Vitamin D deficient, have straightening of the neck, and for some yet-unknown reason these past two weeks when I'm sleeping suddenly my feet and toes start spasming, waking me up.

At least the Vitamin D is easy enough to take care of with vitamins and I'm scheduled for physical therapy for my neck.

At the very least, I've gotten more work done on Standing United.

A Bad Day

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 30

One day I’ll learn to be careful what I wish for. Especially when I’m wishing for excitement in Ponyville.

I had been in Rarity’s boutique getting outfitted for some dress shirts for my male form. There was a function happening in a few weeks involving various diplomats and other well-to-do folks from all over the world. For appearance’s sake, I would be attending as a male, which is just as well, since if I was going to trip over my two left feet, I’d rather do it with pants on than a dress.

In any case, I was standing around doing nothing much as Rarity double checked my measurements and levitated bits and bobs this way and that. Suddenly a pulse of sickly green magic flew through the room, washing over both of us.

“What the hell was that?!” I shouted in surprise as I checked myself to see if anything had happened to me, but if something had been done, it wasn’t visible to the naked eye. Satisfied I wasn’t about to die suddenly, I turned to Rarity.

“Are you OK?” I asked and a sense of wary unease filled me as Rarity turned to me with a very predatory expression.

“Oh, I’m more than OK, darling~ I have a strong handsome man like you around~” Rarity cooed and I was very freaked out. Rarity was fully capable of being a flirt, but never had she spoken with such raw lust in her eyes.

I tried to employ the Fast Break technique, but Rarity was quick enough on the draw to keep me from escaping. Using magic to detain me, she pinned me against the closest wall.

“Naughty, naughty Ranma~ Don’t you want to play with me?” Rarity asked seductively as she pressed herself up against my immobile body, her chest against mine and her left leg lifted up, rubbing against my crotch.

“Not particularly,” I said, trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. I could maybe fire off a Chi blast, but I was hesitant about potentially hurting Rarity. There was also the possibility that she could dodge or block the blast and then I’d really be up a creek without a paddle.

“Oh Ranma, your mouth says one thing, but your body is more honest~” Rarity purred. Yes, Rarity rubbing against my cock was giving me an erection, but that didn’t mean I wanted to have sex with someone not in their right mind!

“You’ve read way too many trashy romance novels if that’s the line you’re going with,” I taunted.

“Provoke me all you want Ranma, I will get what I want and you will thank me for it after we’re done,” Rarity responded with a lustful smirk.

“That’s a bold statement for someone whose sexual experience begins and ends with the aforementioned trashy romance novels,” Yes, I was shooting my mouth off at a very bad time. Yes, I myself was a virgin still, despite my girlfriends’ best efforts. Still, I just couldn’t let a comment like that go. It wouldn’t be the first time I made a snide remark when I shouldn’t have and it won’t be the last.

Rarity’s eyes took on a dangerous look as she grabbed my head and planted a firm kiss on my lips. I’d be lying if I said I hated being kissed by Rarity, even if the circumstances made it uncomfortable.

“Let’s move this to my bed, Ranma~” Rarity purred and I shuddered. Kissing was one thing; sex was a whole other kettle of fish. I didn’t think of it as rape, given Rarity was in no more control of the situation than I was. Still, call me old fashioned, but I wanted the giving of my virginity to be something special. As such, I was very much against Rarity’s designs on said virginity.

I was floated up to Rarity’s room, struggling fruitlessly to break her telekinetic grip. She pinned me to the bed and was about to take off my shirt when a blessed, piercing shriek rang out.

“RARITY! COME HERE!” Never in my life had I been gladder to hear Sweetie Belle’s voice.

“I’m in the middle of something!” Rarity shouted back. She continued undoing the buttons of my shirt.

“NOW RARITY!” Sweetie Belle demanded from somewhere in the boutique. Rarity’s growing aura of bloodlust was quite impressive and I was very much glad it wasn’t aimed at me. She turned to give me a look with fluttering eyelashes.

“Now, don’t you go anywhere Ranma. I’ll deal with this pest in two shakes of a lamb’s tail~” She then summoned some of her cloth to tie me to the bed before marching off to ‘deal’ with Sweetie.

Whether she genuinely thought strips of cloth would keep me tied down or that I would actually want to stay, Rarity was about to have a rude awakening as I fairly easily tore off the cloth and immediately made my escape out the window.

Any hope I might have had that the mind altering magic had only affected Rarity was shot as soon as I looked around outside. It was utter chaos. Some people were brawling in the streets, others were making out like their lives depended on it, still others were curled up in balls crying, and a few were stealing in broad daylight even!

Whatever was going on it had hit all of Ponyville. That meant Twilight wasn’t an option. So I had to make contact with Canterlot and hope they were outside the radius of whatever spell did this. I turned to head home to call Luna, only to be met with a metal bat to the head.

As I came to the only think I could think about was how much my head hurt. I let out a groan of sever displeasure.

“Ah, finally awake, are you?” A somewhat familiar voice asked. I opened my eyes only to immediately shut them again when a floodlight snapped on, blinding me.

“Bon-Bon? What the hell?” I asked as I noticed I was manacled to a steel table with metal restraints on my wrists and ankles.

“Who do you work for?!” She snapped at me.

“I don’t work for anyone?” I was confused. What was she babbling about?

“LIAR!” She screeched, “But we have ways of making you talk…”

“Bon-Bon, what are you-” my question was cut off as a wet cloth was slapped across my face. I had consumed enough spy media in my life to know what was about to happen next. Sure enough, I soon had water being poured on me.

There’s a reason waterboarding is considered torture. It worked exactly as advertised too. As Bon-Bon poured the water over me it definitely felt like I was drowning. The cold water also triggered my transformation.

I don’t know how long exactly Bon-Bon waterboarded me. Time flies when it feels like you’re drowning. Eventually she let up.

“Are you ready to talk?” She questioned menacingly.

“Yes! Yes! I’ll talk!” I shouted. Bon-Bon had clearly gone into some crazy paranoid nut mode. So the only thing I could really do to get out of this situation was ‘confirm’ her worst fears. Even if it probably wasn’t the most ‘noble’ thing to do.

“Who sent you?!” Bon-Bon demanded again.

“It was Lyra!” I lied and Bon-Bon froze.

“L-Lyra..?” She looked devastated and the possibility I was lying didn’t even cross her paranoia frenzied mind.

“Yup,” I ‘confirmed’, “Definitely Lyra.”

“LYRA!” Bon-Bon rushed out of the room, leaving me alone. Now I just had to figure out how to escape.

The change from male to female had left my wrists with a little wiggle room, but not enough to slip out naturally and I wasn’t of a mind to find out if breaking my wrist actually worked or was just Hollywood nonsense.

The obvious first thing to try was a chi blast, but that hope was quickly dashed when the beam bounced off the metal harmlessly. When that failed I tried brute force to similar success. Maybe, maybe if I had still been in male form I would have had more luck, but my female form just wasn’t strong enough.

“Think stupid, think, there has to be a way out of this…” I muttered as I thought about every martial arts technique I knew of from the manga and anime. Eventually my mind hit upon an idea. Happosai and Genma had been able to create physical chi constructs out of their battle aura. If I could do the same maybe the outward pressure would snap open the shackles?

“No big deal Ranma, just figure out how to do a completely new technique before Bon-Bon comes back and murders you for falsely accusing her girlfriend of conspiring against her,” Given she had got directly to waterboarding I shuddered to think what she’d do to me if she were actually wanting to hurt me.

In theory making a Chi construct shouldn’t be that hard. Instead of focusing Chi in the palms of my hands I just had to suffuse the concentrated Chi across my whole body and push it outward. Actually, I didn’t even need to do that much, if I could just do it around my wrists and ankles that would be enough for now.

It took a little bit of trial and error, but I was able to start forming solid Chi constructs around my ankles and wrists. Once I had that down I started pumping more and more Chi into them to make them expand.

Unfortunately, I had failed to take into consideration Newton’s third law. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every bit of pressure the Chi constructs were putting on my bonds, they were putting an equal amount of pressure on my ankles and wrists.

At this point I was too worried about Bon-Bon coming back, so I had to take the gamble. Which would break first, my bones or the restraints? I kept pushing on. It felt like I was trapped in a vice, slowly increasing the pressure. The pain was quite something, but it sure beat being waterboarded.

Just as I was sure my bones must snap I heard the sound of something popping open. For a moment, I thought my bones had snapped, but as there was no accompanying excruciating pain, I looked and saw the restraints had yielded first.

I took a moment to rub my sore appendages, but I was pretty sure I was going to have some nasty bruising in the morning. I got off the table and it was a simple enough matter to blast the door off and made good my escape.

Unsurprisingly, as I made my way home to try and call Luna for help, I was in a bad mood. I was wet, hungry, tired, and in pain. So I was in no mood to deal with an overly angry Rainbow Dash when she accosted me.

I tried to keep walking and ignore her, but I should have known better. Ignoring Rainbow Dash is rarely a smart move, even under more normal circumstances. She got up right in my face.

“Fuck you Ranma!” She shouted.

“Why don’t you do it yourself, you coward?!” I snapped back. That was my second mistake: calling Rainbow a coward. I quickly found myself on the ground.

“I ain’t a coward!” She yelled and forced a sloppy kiss on me.

Unlike with Rarity, Rainbow was a fighter, so I had no hesitation in blasting her off me. I then got on top of her and pinned her to the ground with one arm behind her back.

“Rainbow, you’re going to go away when I let you go, right?” I asked with all the menace of an elder brother tormenting their younger sibling.

“Let me go!” Rainbow demanded so I put a little more pressure on her arm, “OK, I give!”

I let Rainbow go and she bolted away. That was easier than I was expecting, but I wasn’t going to complain.

Eventually I made it home to find Thistle had caused a bunch of plants to grow into a protective wall around it. Had she fallen to the same madness as everyone in town?

“Thistle, open up!” I called out, hoping for a response. Fortunately, one was forthcoming as Thistle poked her head out of the growth.

“Ranma?” She asked and I breathed a sigh of relief. Thistle was still sane. She phased fully out of the growth and hugged me tightly, “You’re OK! Everyone else had gone crazy and I was worried!”

I hugged back, “I’m glad you’re OK too. Can you let me in so I can call Luna or Celestia to hopefully fix this mess?”

“Of course!” Thistle opened the way for me. We headed inside and I quickly made a call to Canterlot.

After that the Princesses showed up and made short work of the mess. Apparently the source of the problem had been some sort of evil amulet fueled by Windigo magic designed to cause strife in the hearts of Ponykind. Bon-Bon, in her role as Agent Sweetie Drops, had been disposing of it when Lyra had distracted her and she messed up the disposal, destroying the amulet and causing all the magic to be released in a more catastrophic way.

I suddenly felt a lot less guilty about setting the paranoid Bon-Bon on Lyra…

Author's Note

Sometimes you just want your character to suffer.

Aftermath

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 31

Once I had gotten a chance to calm down and sift through my feelings in the aftermath of the Windigo amulet I decided I was rather displeased with how things had gone down. It was sheer dumb luck I had escaped from both Rarity and Bon-Bon. I needed to train more. I needed to develop better techniques. I just needed to be better.

Fortunately Twilight and her big brain had come up with a possible solution for my biggest weakness. Magic didn’t have a concept of hot or cold in the way chi did, so Twilight theorized that if I could make my chi hot enough I could fend off spells.

The problem with this solution was twofold. First, I had to find a way to make my chi sufficiently hot. Obviously the heat of a battle aura wasn’t enough or I wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. Second was, once I got it hot enough, keeping it that hot.

I had a couple of ideas I was playing with to accomplish this, one was to simply pick a ‘hot’ emotion and generate as much of that as I could. Unfortunately my temperament tended more towards the mild. While I had been very, very angry youth, that particular flame had long since guttered out.

My other best idea was to steal heat from my opponents, not unlike the Happo 5 Yen Satsu. Although, come to think of it, if I could learn that particular technique then heating up my Chi would become all but moot. Definitely something to consider for later.

There was one other thing happening. Fluttershy had somehow gotten word of what had happened concerning Rarity and Rainbow. Whether they had confessed out of a guilty conscious or someone else had told her I didn’t know, but I suspected the former.

I was genre savvy enough to imagine one of two outcomes: Fluttershy discovers a heretofore unknown yandere side or she and Luna are offering them to join our relationship.

So I considered if I actually wanted either Rarity or Rainbow.

Rarity was easy. I knew we were utterly incompatible. Rarity was a social butterfly infatuated with the trappings of high society. I was an introvert who thought high society was little better than a plague. There was also the matter of her emotional outbursts, to put it politely. Sure, Rarity was gorgeous, but even if I was the type to value beauty highly, I already had Fluttershy and Luna, who are both beautiful, if I do say so myself.

Rainbow, on the other hand, was a lot harder to find an answer for. Or maybe it would be better to say I couldn’t think of a reason to not date Rainbow, if the opportunity presented itself. She is a cute sporty tomboy tsundere, which is a type I’ve always had a soft spot for. Beyond that, while I had no particular interest in sports, I didn’t hate them like I did high society either. Added together with my martial arts training and we had things we could bond over. She also had a love of Daring Do books, which I bet I could expand into other series.

Really, the only downside I could think of was that Rainbow was sometimes a loudmouth with an ego, but I’ve been known to shoot my mouth off too, so glass houses and all that.

Now, you might be wondering if Fluttershy and Luna were having a chat with Rarity and Rainbow about what had happened, why wasn’t I in there with them? Because I had no intention of making things even more awkward than they already were. Talking about why they jumped me and what would be done moving forward with me sitting there fidgeting nervously as the awkwardness suffocated me would not have been productive for anyone.

So instead of that, I was doing some practice forms and thinking in a field a little ways off from Fluttershy’s cottage. I had given Luna and Flutters clearance to do whatever they felt was right and I trusted them. If the ‘right’ thing was Rarity and Rainbow in the dungeon for a week or two, well, technically they did commit assault against me.

“Ranma, we’re finished!” Fluttershy called out to me. I bounded toward her and we headed back towards her cottage.

“So, what’s the verdict?” I asked, a nervous ball of energy forming in the pit of my stomach.

“Luna and I offered Rarity and Rainbow to be part of our herd, on a trial basis. Rarity declined, but Rainbow asked for more time to think about it,” Fluttershy summarized.

“That’s about what I expected you’d do,” I admitted and Fluttershy gave a soft giggle.

“I’m glad we met your expectations,” She smiled at me.

“What surprises me is that Rarity declined, given what I’ve heard of her past of jumping on any chance of romance, especially given she’d be directly involved with Luna,” I noted.

“Actually that’s part of why she declined. She said she didn’t trust herself to have pure motives with Luna,” Fluttershy told me and I raised my eyebrows as my estimation of Rarity went up somewhat.

“And the other part of why she declined?” I asked.

“She said you and her wouldn’t match well,” Fluttershy replied with a shrug.

“That’s the same conclusion I came to, actually,” I told her and she made a noise of slight surprise, “You disagree?”

“No, I just didn’t think you’d have thought about it, is all,” Fluttershy confessed.

“Kinda hard not to think about it after I was quite literally tied to her bed,” I said mildly, this caused Fluttershy to blush. I knew Fluttershy well enough by this point to know she was blushing because she was embarrassed for being presumptive, not the lewd implications of what I’d just said. It’s always the quite ones man.

“What about Rainbow?” Fluttershy asked.

“I can’t think of a single good reason to not at least give her a shot, but I also have to ask if you’re alright with it,” I said as I took her hand.

“I’d be lying if I said I’d never considered trying a relationship with Rainbow,” Fluttershy told me, “But the cliché fear of losing her friendship always held me back. This is as good an excuse to put aside that fear as any.”

“And what’s your read on how Luna feels?” I inquired as we reached her front door.

“She seems surprisingly eager. I get the feeling she’s wanted to expand the herd but didn’t know how to bring it up,” Fluttershy replied and I made a hum of contemplation.

“We’ll need to talk about it. If you girls have anyone you want to add, I don’t want you to hesitate to bring it up,” I said.

“As long as you feel comfortable doing the same,” Fluttershy followed up swiftly.

“Yes, yes, I know ‘no putting myself in a secondary position or depreciating myself. I’m an equal and loved member of this herd’,” I recited and Fluttershy rewarded me with a peck on the cheek.

“Good, we’ll discuss this properly next time Luna has some free time,” Fluttershy nodded. I kissed the top of Fluttershy’s head.

“You make such a good head mare,” I complimented and Fluttershy’s face turned red and she grew that funny half grin someone gets when they’re very pleased with themselves but trying not to show it too much. She was so adorable.

“Th-thank you Ranma…” She said.

“Do you think I should go have a chat with Rainbow or leave it for a bit?” I asked her.

“Give her a day or two, I think,” Fluttershy opined, “Then you should definitely talk to her.”

“Alright, you know her best,” I replied, “See you later Fluttershy.”

“See you Ranma.”

Author's Note

Well, my spasming is still going on, I've gotten a bunch of blood tests done, MRIs done of my brain, lower back, and legs, an EMG, and a EEG done in the course of the past month. The only positive thing I've gotten out of all these tests is that I don't have brain cancer.

I'm seeing a neurology specialist who specializes in movement disorders the morning after this goes live, so hopefully he'll have answers or at least know what tests to preform to get answers.

Acceptable Terms

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 32

It had been a couple of days since Fluttershy’s little powwow with Rarity and Rainbow and I felt it was high time to have a chat with Rainbow myself. I managed to track her down at her home. She was lounging near one of her rainbow water pools.

“Hey Rainbow, can we talk?” I called out to her as I walked up the solid cloud bridge that connected her home to the ground.

“I guess we should,” Rainbow sighed, “Pull up some cloud.”

“You sound so excited to see me,” I deadpanned as I sat down next to her. She gave me an unimpressed look.

“You’re so funny,” She said dryly.

“Well, no point dancing around the topic. How are you feeling about Fluttershy’s offer?” I asked. Rainbow let out a long slow sigh.

“You know, it’s funny, if you had told me a year ago Fluttershy would be head mare of a herd, I wouldn’t have believed you,” Rainbow said with something akin to nostalgia in her voice, “Is it weird I’m kinda proud of her?”

“I don’t think so, no. You’ve known her the longest out of any of us, been her friend the longest. You’re happy to see her grow, even if it’s in ways you didn’t expect,” I replied.

“I guess that makes sense,” Rainbow said as she scratched her cheek.

“Of course, that doesn’t help answer the main question,” I pointed out.

“No…I can’t stop thinking about it, turning it over in my head. I don’t know what I want,” Rainbow admitted.

“Afraid of saying yes, but can’t think of a good reason to say no?” I asked.

“Rainbow Dash ain’t afraid of anything,” She made a token protest.

“Of course,” I humored her, “But if you were..?”

“Some garbage cliché about being afraid of messing up my friendship with Fluttershy,” Rainbow muttered.

“You must be really confident in your ability to fuck things up,” I quipped and Rainbow gaze snapped to me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” She shouted indignantly.

“It means I don’t think there’s anything you can do that would make Fluttershy hate you,” I replied mildly.

“I guess you’re right…” Rainbow settled down.

“And it’s not like you have to commit whole hog right away. Most people go on a few dates before going steady where I come from,” I told her.

“That’s true…” Rainbow said hesitantly.

“Rainbow, as someone who is a master of talking themselves out of a good idea, I know what I’m about to say only has so much impact, but the worst that can happen is we go on a couple of dates and we decide it’s not a good match. The best that can happen? Well, I’ve been quite happy these last several months,” I shrugged.

The look on Rainbow’s face was one of great internal struggle after I finished speaking. I held my silence as she debated with herself. Nothing I could say now would be helpful.

“Rrggh, I’ll do it!” Rainbow finally shouted.

“Alright, I’m sure Fluttershy and Luna will be happy to hear it,” I told her with a genuine smile. Rainbow let out a sigh of what sounded like relief.

“So when do you want to do this thing?” She asked.

“Well it won’t be this weekend, because Luna and I have that fancy get together, but after that we’ll have to see when our schedules match up,” I told her and she nodded.

“Guess I’ll talk to you later,” She said, a light blush gracing her cheeks as the reality of what she had agreed to settled in.

“Guess you will. See you on the flip side RD,” I bid and left to tell my girls the good news.

Author's Note

It's been a looooong month, but I have tentative answers. The neurologist suspects genetic dystonia, so he sent me to see a geneticist. The geneticist, based on the fact that no one in my family has had dystonia, thinks it might instead be a rare genetic defect where my body responds very poorly to a lack of vitamin b12. More specifically the Malonic Acid that's created when experiencing vitamin b12 deficiency.

In any event, the geneticist slated me for a complete genetic workup to see if it's dystonia or catch that b12 defect if it does exist. I'll hear back sometime late December/early January.

Aside from that, I finally got fed up with my CPAP machine not being nearly as helpful as I had hoped, so I went in for an exam to see if I might have a deviated septum. As it turns out I do and it's on the severe end as far as these things go. This diagnosis was made easier by the fact I had had a head MRI in the course of trying to find the source of the spasms. The doctor I saw recommended I get it surgically corrected. The surgery room is booked for the next 8-12 weeks though, so no date for the surgery yet.

On top of all that, my parents and I all caught covid. This is my second time having covid, despite having gotten the jab just before I caught it the first time. My Dad is fully vaccinated + boosters and my Mom was allergic to the shots. So we're all sick for Thanksgiving. Although for me, this bout of covid is significantly milder than the first time, only giving me a slightly runny nose and a bit of a sore throat. My Mom, on the other hand, had to be rushed to the hospital because she couldn't breath and was severely dehydrated.

So yeah, November has been a rough month all around.

Kidnapped

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 34

Like so many misadventures, it all started on what had been a relatively normal day. Our first date with Rainbow was only a few days away and I had been doing some kind of body conditioning Summer had cooked up which involved me sitting in the frozen lake. Even under normal circumstances, I hate being cold, but using my chi it had been manageable.

So it was that I, in my female form and a swimsuit, desperately using my chi to not freeze to death, was just outside my house when I bumped into Fluttershy.

Ordinarily I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Fluttershy and I were always going to each other’s houses, either on a whim or because we had something to talk about. However, with my chi as active as it was, I noticed something off about Fluttershy’s presence.

“Hey Fluttershy,” I greeted as I tried to figure out this strange feeling about her.

“Ranma, why are you soaking wet and wearing a swimsuit?” Fluttershy asked with an understandable amount of bafflement.

“Summer had me out in the lake for training,” I explained.

“In the middle of February?!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah, I’m not too thrilled about it myself. I’d like to get into some dry clothes and a warm blanket,” I said.

“Of course,” Fluttershy nodded and took my hand. The direct contact catalyzed the realization: This wasn’t Fluttershy.

But if this wasn’t Fluttershy, then who was it? My mind jumped to the two most obvious answers. Either this was a prank by Rainbow, Pinkie, or someone else or this was a changeling.

Of course, this world was different enough from the show’s world that, even if this were a changeling, that didn’t tell me much about the situation. It could even, theoretically, still be a prank by a changeling Fluttershy knows.

So then the question became: how do I deal with this? Do I immediately confront this imposter or do I play along in hopes of finding out more? There was also the chance that this was the opening act of the season 6 finale, in which case time was of the essence.

With all this taken into consideration, there was really only one prudent course of action. I brought not-Fluttershy inside, locked the door behind me, and pinned her to the floor.

“Who are you and where’s Fluttershy?!” I demanded of the imposter.

“Ranma, what are you doing?!” Not-Fluttershy cried.

“Who are you and where’s Fluttershy?!” I repeated.

“I am Fluttershy!” The fake tried to insist.

“I can tell from your chi that you aren’t!” I told the pretender. She went still for a moment before in a flash of green fire the not-Fluttershy was replaced with a muscular Earth Pony. The changeling started trying to break my pin…and was succeeding.

In my female form I simply didn’t have the mass or strength to keep the changeling down without seriously injuring them first. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go that far just yet. So instead of trying to prolong a doomed pin and potentially getting in trouble from that, I jumped off and created some space between us.

“Where is Chrysalis keeping Fluttershy?!” I shouted as the changeling got up.

“Chrysalis? You think I’m part of her hive?” The changeling asked with clear derision. That answer was not what I was expecting and immediately told me that any assumptions I might have been able to make about changelings from my knowledge of the show were invalid.

“But now you know too much. I can’t let you live,” The changeling said menacingly and another flash of green fire revealed a large bear-like monster. I wasn’t about to try and fight that thing head to head so…

“THISTLE, HELP!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. The changeling charged me, but roots burst out of the floor like a mass of snakes, wrapping up the changeling’s monstrous form tightly.

“I would have thought you’d try to fight first,” Thistle commented as she stepped out of the roots.

“I’m not exactly of a mind to have my shit kicked in or my house torn down by a changeling,” I deadpanned. The changeling in question struggled against their bondage, but Thistle maintained a tight grip no matter what form they tried to assume.

“I guess,” Thistle said and I was tempted to ask just what kind of mental image she had of me, but there were bigger fish to fry at the moment. I called up Luna on our emergency number and in a flash of teleportation magic the Lunar Princess appeared. She looked around and then fixed the changeling with a furious glare that would make lesser men piss their pants in fear.

Luna wasted no time using her magic to root around in the changeling’s mind, searching for where they took Fluttershy. The changeling struggled, but in the end was no match for Luna’s power.

“They have her in an abandon mine. They were going to replace most of Ponyville and then try and overwhelm me with numbers while using what locals remained as living shields,” Luna relayed their plans.

“So do we go in guns blazing or do we try and sneak in and get Fluttershy out?” I asked.

“Sneaking into anyplace filled with changelings is all but impossible at the best of times. We have little choice but to use force,” Luna replied, “I will summon my guards and we will make our way to the mines to free Fluttershy.”

It was torture waiting for Luna’s guard to arrive. I wanted to get out there and save my girlfriend already! But I knew Luna felt the same from the way she was continuing to glare at our captive and her wings were fidgeting ever so slightly. I wasn’t going to be the kind of idiot who charged off recklessly and got everyone in more danger. So I tried to be patient and waited.

After what felt like an eternity, Luna’s guard arrived and we set off for the mine. As we got closer, Luna and some of the more magically gifted of her guard started weaving spells to delay our detection for as long as possible. Luna then started discussing what information she had gleaned from our changeling captive on the enemy’s strength, position, and where exactly in the mine Fluttershy was being held.

With a plan made and roles assigned, we readied ourselves for the assault on the mines. I could only hope Fluttershy was safe.

Author's Note

Unfamiliar Foes

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 35

As we headed towards the mines, Luna sent two ahead to sweep the area for any changelings who might be on watch. Luna’s guards uncovered three Changeling sentries and expertly silenced them before giving the all clear.

As a group we entered the mines and found it to be surprisingly spacious. I could only assume the Changelings had been modifying the tunnels for their own use and/or comfort. Something I noticed right away was that there didn’t seem to be any kind of pods for keeping victims. The mine, other than seemingly being carved out some more, seemed perfectly normal. Maybe they had hidden their victims even deeper into the mines, but we had been walking unopposed for ten minutes.

Eventually we came to a spacious chamber. I was trying to temper my frustration with not finding any clues to Fluttershy’s location. But as we were nearing the center of the chamber…

“INTRUDERS!” Suddenly the room was flooded with Changelings, “PROTECT THE RITUAL CHAMBER WITH YOUR LIVES!”

Ritual chamber? That didn’t sound good. Indeed, that sounded quite bad. If they had Fluttershy kidnapped for some kind of ritual…my mind was already jumping with horrible possibilities.

In a situation like this, in an enclosed space with enemies swarming on all sides, it would be unsurprising for panic to erupt. But Luna’s guard maintained discipline and together we fought through the horde of Changelings. Blasts of magic were flying every which way, and while my chi blasts weren’t on the level of someone like Luna’s Alicorn might, at full power they were enough to knock around a fair few Changelings.

Slowly we carved a path to the back entrance of the room, the Changelings becoming more vicious and desperate the closer we got. Whatever was back in this ritual chamber, they really were defending it with their very lives. What could drive them to such madness? If whatever it was involved Fluttershy…that just gave me more strength to push forward. The determination to save someone I love fueled my attacks.

We made it into the next tunnel and ahead of us saw a great stone door. Along the edges of the door was some kind of runes. It was all properly esoteric horror-y. We continued to press forward while the rear guard fended off those Changelings that were still behind us. As we got closer to the door, there were naturally less Changelings between us and it, letting us put more into reinforcing our rear.

In short order, we arrived at the door. We tried opening it, but of course nothing was ever that simple. The door resisted efforts magical and mundane to open it. So we hunkered down while Luna worked on translating the runes in the hope that it held some kind of answer for opening the door.

It was certainly something, down there in the dark, claustrophobic tunnels, defending ourselves while Luna calmly translated the runes as if there were nothing more pressing going on than a summer breeze. I couldn’t help but once again be amazed with one of my girlfriends. As for me, I was quickly realizing I needed to work on my endurance. I was also strongly considering learning some way of carrying hot water on me at all times. While it wouldn’t have been much, my male form would have had at least a smidge more endurance.

As sweat pour down my face and determination was the only thing keeping me up and fighting, I heard Luna make a sound of displeasure.

“What’s wrong?” I called to her.

“This door requires a sacrifice of blood to open. What a distasteful group of Changelings we’ve found,” Luna sneered. Quick as a flash, Luna used a small knife to cut her hand and placed the bleeding wound against the door. The door glowed an ominous red before slowly swinging open.

“Quickly now, we don’t know how long the door will remain open,” Luna ordered her troops as she healed the cut. As expected of professionals, they were able to orderly and efficiently fall back through the door. Just like Luna had warned, soon after we were on the other side, the door closed shut.

While this meant we no longer had to deal with the swarm, it also meant we either had to find a new way out or fight our way through a second time. Neither option seemed particularly attractive, but we took a minute to catch our collective breaths, drink some water, and pressed on.

It didn’t take us long thereafter to reach the ritual room. The five Changelings in black hoods, with runes on the floor and fire that seemingly burned without fuel kinda gave it away. What I was more concerned with was the trussed up Fluttershy lying on the floor in the center of some kind of runic circle.

“If you value your lives, you will release her!” Luna shouted, just barely below Royal Canterlot volume.

“Infidels! You dare desecrate this sacred place with your uncleanliness?!” One of the Changelings hissed. As much as he sounded like a cartoon villain, the knife he held was real enough.

“Step away from Fluttershy,” I growled.

“Never! The girl is to be a sacrifice to our goddess! She should be honored!” The Changeling declared, wildly gesturing with his knife.

“It seems cultists are the same, no matter the era,” Luna complained and cast a concussive blast that knocked the five Changelings away from Fluttershy.

“No! The Formless Mother will not be denied!” The one I assumed was the head cultist shrieked. We were all on guard for any sort of funny business, but were not expecting him to jam the knife into his own arm!

“O Formless Mother, take this sacrifice of wounded flesh and give me the power to smite your foes!” He thrust his bleeding arm upward and some kind of strange distortion appeared in the air. Some kind of tendril reached out from the distortion and touched the cultist’s wound and the blood that was pouring out was seemingly set aflame!

“Praise the Formless Mother!” The other four cultists exclaimed.

“Stop him!” Luna shouted urgently and her guard sprang into action, casting spells and firing guns. I joined in with my chi blasts. However, all our attacks seemed to wither and fade as they got close to the cultist, who started laughing madly.

“You’re too late! The Formless Mother protects me!” He crowed.

“Damn,” Luna swore, “You all focus on the other four cultists before they get the bright idea to power up as well. I’ll deal with this one.”

“Right!” Her troops and I all agreed and we sprang into action. Given spells and other long ranged attacks seemed to do nothing, so that left us with melee combat. Fortunately melee combat was something I had gotten quite good at over the last couple of months. Luna’s guard was no slouches either. Unfortunately, we were tired from the gauntlet we had gone through to get here.

“Fools! Even an Alicorn is as an ant before the Formless Mother!” The head cultist exclaimed and threw his flaming blood at us. There was too much blood and too many of us in a relatively small area for us to dodge all of the blood. Fortunately, while it definitely hurt something fierce, it didn’t seem to do much more than that. Even better, it didn’t care about friendly fire, if the cultist that got hit crying out in pain was any indication.

Fiery blood or bloody fire rained down upon us all. Luna attacked the head cultist in an attempt to stop the downpour. She held nothing back as blasts of powerful struck the head cultist. For all his boasting, it was clear Luna was having an effect.

With this opening, the guard and I resumed are attacks on the lesser cultists. Fortunately for us, it seemed these cultists were less adapt at dealing with pain than we were or their leader. As they writhed from the searing blood, we fell upon them. Two of them we knocked out and tied up, but the other two still had the wherewithal to fight.

They cast spells with wild abandon, clearly not caring who or what they hit. I saw a spell flying towards Fluttershy, who was still tied up. I just barely managed to deflect it with a chi blast and rushed to Fluttershy’s side to untie her.

The attack that nearly hit Fluttershy did not go unnoticed by Luna. If she was mad before, she was nuclear now. With an almighty blast of what seemed like pure moonlight, she sends the offender several inches into the stone wall.

“This farce ends now!” Luna declared, fury in her eyes and her aetherial mane flapping in an unseen gale. The night’s cold rage clashed against the fiery blood as I finished untying Fluttershy and she clung to me like a drowning woman holding a life preserver.

“It’s OK Flutters, we’re here,” I soothed, rubbing her back gently as the guards finished off the last of the four lesser cultists.

“I-I knew you’d come for me…but I was so scared…” Fluttershy trembled.

“I know sweetheart, it’s OK,” I assured her over and over.

Meanwhile Luna was slowly but surely overwhelming the head cultist.

“No! This is impossible! I am chosen of the Formless Mother! The head cultist cried.

“Whatever eldritch abomination you call god has no place on Equuis!” Luna declared imperiously and with one final push the bloody fire spluttered and was snuffled out by Luna’s Cold Night, leaving the head cultist frozen to death.

Luna powered down from full goddess mode and immediately rushed over to Fluttershy and me, sweeping us both up in a bone crushing hug.

“I’m so glad you’re OK!” Luna cried with her face buried in Fluttershy’s mane.

“Luna…air…” Fluttershy gasped as we were smushed against Luna’s chest.

“Oh!” Luna exclaimed in realization and let us go. Fluttershy and I gasped for air as Luna’s guard ensured the surviving cultists were secured.

After some less life threatening hugging, the inevitable question needed to be asked.

“So what do we do now?” Fluttershy wondered. A quick sweep of the ritual chamber made it pretty clear there was only two ways out: teleportation or through the stone door. Unfortunately and predictably, there was a runic array to prevent teleporting and it was carved deep enough into the rock that removing it could very well destabilize the room and breaking the runic enchantment would take days.

That left us the door and probably the adherent Changelings outside. Not an attractive prospect, but at least there was plenty of blood around to open the door. Thus we prepared ourselves to fight back the way we came, but as the door opened there was a noticeable lack of an angry swarm of Changelings. In many ways this was more concerning. It meant they had fled. It meant they could strike again.

Despite the bitter taste this left in my mouth, the important thing was that Fluttershy was safe. We could go home and prepare for the next time. They wouldn’t catch us off guard again. And when they did come for revenge, they’d find a Ranma Saotome who was a hell of a lot stronger than I was now. They’d be sorry for messing with my family.

Author's Note

Why yes, I've been known to enjoy a spot of Elden Ring and Elden Ring lore, why do you ask?

This has been a looooong month for me, but mostly positive. My family are planning to move to tentatively Alabama sometime in the next 3-5 years, so we've started cleaning out the house in preparation for that.

I have the surgery for my deviated septum scheduled which will hopefully fix my airways and thus let me have air as I sleep. That'll be March 30th.

And the thing I'm most personally pleased about is I got the Necromancer title in Final Fantasy XIV on the 14th after grinding for it since December of last year and Lone Hero on the 22nd. For those who don't know, long story short, Necromancer is earned by doing a piece of side content known as Palace of the Dead, a place meant for a party of 4, solo, starting from floor 1 and going all the way to the final floor of 200 without getting a duty fail, either by dying, dcing, or going over the time limit. It's one of the rarest titles and widely considered to be one of the most difficult. Lone Hero is from a similar type of side content, known as Heaven on High, which is only 100 floors.

So yeah, I'm pretty pleased with myself.

A Transitory Update

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 36

It was only natural that in the immediate aftermath of Fluttershy’s kidnapping, a lot changed very quickly.

The first and most obvious change, at least to the general public, was that Rainbow had taken it upon herself to spend just about every minute of every day near Fluttershy. While I personally would have probably found such behavior suffocating, Fluttershy said she found it cute and as long as she was happy with it, I saw no reason to complain either.

The second change and one that was hidden from most of the public was the fact that Luna had posted a number of her guards to Ponyville. Each of the Element Bearers and I had been assigned two each plus relief shifts. Thankfully those who had been selected for this duty were remarkably discreet. If you didn’t know they were there, it was very difficult to tell they were following you.

Honestly Fluttershy and I should have probably already had a guard or two, given we were dating Luna, but that ship had sailed. So we could only learn from the mistake and fix it moving forward.

Luna had interrogated the Changelings we had captured, but alas, none of them knew why Fluttershy had been targeted. Apparently the only one who knew anything about anything in the Cult was the Head Priests of each cell. They moved randomly across Equuis and met only at random times in random places as dictated by the prophetic visions of these Head Priests. It was an annoyingly effective way of making sure if one cell were to fall, the others could live on.

As far as why Fluttershy had been targeted, we could only think of three plausible reasons. The first was they wanted the blood of a virgin. If that was their goal, then there were many easier virgins to get access to that likely wouldn’t bring the wrath of Luna down upon them. Also Fluttershy wasn’t exactly the blushing virgin most people assumed her to be. While I personally had abstained, Luna and Fluttershy had gotten physical a few times that I knew of.

The next possibility was that they were after an Element Bearer and Fluttershy just happened to be the easiest to capture, given she lived at the edge of town with only her animals or they saw a chance and took it. This was the theory I was currently subscribing to.

The last of the possibilities we considered was that they had gone after her specifically because of her ties to Luna. Whether they intended to use her as bait, as revenge against Luna for some slight, or some other reason, we didn’t know. Luna favored this explanation as Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow were just as easy, if not arguably easier, to catch if they were simply seeking an Element Bearer.

With all these uncertainties in the air, I had taken it upon myself to redouble my training. While I had by no means been useless, I wasn’t satisfied with my performance during Fluttershy’s rescue either. The limits of my strength, endurance, skill, and techniques had all been made painfully clear to me. Martial arts wasn’t just about having fun, staying in shape, and maybe making some cash on the side anymore. It was about protecting my loved ones. If they decided they wanted to try again, I wanted to be ready.

So it was I had taken to adopting some of the training regiment Luna’s guards underwent. It was hard to get used to at first, but I was filled with determination to be better. It might not be today or tomorrow. It might be the Changeling cult or it might not be. But this world was a dangerous one and I might not always have the luxury of being able to rely on Luna and her guard.

That being said, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Given what had happened we had rescheduled our group date with Rainbow and I know I wasn’t the only one looking forward to it, given the aforementioned closeness between Rainbow and Fluttershy after the incident.

This would typically be the part where the protagonist blithely states something along the lines of ‘and I hope nothing goes wrong’ only for the next entry to have the date be ruined in some comical and/or horrendous way. Not me. I’m genre savvy, savvy?! You’re gonna get a nice retelling of a nice date with my lovely girlfriends and like it!

Author's Note

By the time you next hear from me, I'll have undergone my nasal surgery for my deviated septum. It's entirely possible I'll sleep through April, so if there's no chapter next month, nobody panic.

As for how this month has gone, aside from the usual insomnia problems which the aforementioned surgery will hopefully fix, I've been getting bloodwork and an EKG done to see that I was fit for said surgery.

I also completed the latest Deep Dungeon solo, Eureka Orthos, so I'm rather happy about that. With all 3 Deep Dungeons solo'd, I'm now free of their curse.

Other than that it's been a pretty slow month. The only other thing really of note is that I had some good fried chicken the other day for the first time in years and I was reminded why fried chicken is considered soul food. I was filled with a sense of contentment after eating it that I hadn't felt in quite a long time. Even still I feel it, a couple of days later.

Fried Chicken is good y'all.

The Frosty Date

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 37

After much planning and an unfortunate setback, the date of our date with Rainbow had finally arrived. I had spent no little amount of time thinking about how I wanted this to go. We had decided we’d all get to pick an activity and I, in my infinite wisdom, had come up with the idea of doing a picnic lunch…at the tail end of February. I am 100% sure Luna was taking pity on me when she decided to pick ice skating as her activity.

Regardless of my own mental damage, Rainbow had elected to go to the movies after we finished ice skating and Fluttershy wanted to do some stargazing. Thank all that is holy I Summer had taught me how to keep myself warm with my Chi.

So it was that I had spent the better part of last night and this morning prepping lunch. I had ended up buying a number of thermoses for keeping the soups and stews I had made hot, as well as some hot coco. I also made some tuna fish salad and bought some potato chips. Once everything finished cooking, I packed it all into a genuine, bonafide, Yogi Bear-approved picnic basket.

Any reports of me having a stupid smile on my face as I gazed at that picnic basket are highly exaggerated I assure you.

Putting rumors aside, I was ready to go as Luna, Rainbow, and Fluttershy arrived for our date.

“Everyone ready?” I asked as I hefted the picnic basket.

“That looks heavy, you sure we got enough food?” Rainbow joked.

“Alicorn, Martial Artist, Jock,” I said pointing at Luna, myself, and Rainbow respectively, “If anything I’m more worried about still not having enough.”

“You worry too much Ranma,” Luna said, “Worse come to worse we can always fill up on movie theater fare.”

“Strangely that doesn’t make me feel better,” I said dryly, “I’m the moron who suggested a picnic lunch in the dead of winter. The least I can do is seeing to it you’re all satisfied.”

“Honestly Ranma, you act like a little cold will kill you,” Fluttershy teased.

“That’s what they all say just before it gets you!” I gestured dramatically, “And when you’re nothin’ but a popsicle, don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

“But I know you’ll be there to thaw us~” Fluttershy wrapped her arms around me, her head barely coming up to my shoulder. I’m sure I blushed as Fluttershy snuggled into me and Rainbow and Luna snickered.

“I suppose someone has to do it,” I muttered.

“Then we’ll be counting on you,” Rainbow clapped my shoulder.

“As much fun as it is teasing Ranma, I did want to get to ice skating today,” Luna said with an indulgent grin.

“We could change today’s date to snuggling Ranma all day,” Fluttershy suggested and I wasn’t entirely sure how serious she was as I watched Rainbow’s face turn completely red.

“Tempting, but I think that’s a bit much for Rainbow’s first date with us,” Luna said, taking pity on Rainbow’s poor soul.

“I suppose,” Fluttershy relented and let go of me.

The four of us in winter gear headed out to the frozen lake. Before Luna had suggested it, I had never gone ice skating before in my life. So it had been a week of dedicated practice for me, since I had no desire to spend a large portion of our date on my ass. Thankfully I had managed to pick up the skill relatively quickly.

As we arrived at the lake we found it perfectly frozen over and a number of other ice skaters were already enjoying themselves. I barely resisted cracking a joke in my head about people willingly subjecting themselves to the cold and enjoying it. The four of us laced up our skates and hit the ice.

As we skated, it was pretty clear where each of us sat on the totem pole of skill. I, naturally, was at the very bottom. I could skate and I wasn’t making a fool of myself, but I could do little more than propel myself forward. Rainbow was the next step up, displaying the confidence she did with most physical activities but not the same mastery she displayed in flight. Luna and Fluttershy owned the ice. There was really no other way I could think of to describe just how at home they both seemed doing tricks and gliding around the lake.

I think we all had a good time, all things considered, although a part of me couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps ice skating made for a better 1 on 1 date than a group date, since Flutter and Luna spent most of the time skating with each other and Rainbow and I were paired off by virtue of our lesser skill.

In due time a late lunchtime rolled around and I deployed my army of thermoses. The troops did admirably in keeping what needed to be hot at a good temperature. I was proud of them. If you think I’m silly for thinking about my newly bought thermoses like this…yes.

Of course, I ended up making a little bit too much, but leftovers never hurt anyone. It should probably tell you something that as soon as the thought entered my head cries of ‘food poisoning’ and images of Codename: KND flashed through my brain. I have never claimed to be the most mentally sound person in the world.

Once we were finished eating, we packed up what remained and started making our way to the movie theater for Rainbow’s portion of the date. It was with little surprise she took us to see an action/adventure film. It was a fine film and we had the typical movie snacks of popcorn and candies.

I wish I could tell you more about the film itself, but our group were otherwise engaged in the back row, if you know what I mean.

Once the movie ended, we left with silly grins and slightly flushed faces. This time of year, even though it was relatively early at just past 6pm, the stars were already out and Luna took care of her duty of ushering the moon into the sky as we were leaving the theater.

We headed up to the top of a grassy knoll near Fluttershy’s cottage, where she had already set up the stargazing equipment. Gazing into the depths of space as Luna narrated each star we looked upon them; it was a lovely way to spend the evening. I was glad that Rainbow enjoyed herself as well.

Eventually the hour grew late. Yawns from me, Fluttershy, and Rainbow grew more common. The call of our beds became more alluring.

“I think we can call this a successful date,” Luna said.

“I had fun,” Fluttershy said as she stretched from being bent over a telescope.

“I did too,” Rainbow added, “I like spending time with you guys.”

“I like it too,” I said and smiled at Rainbow. She blushed slightly. Fluttershy took her hand.

“I hope you join us on more dates,” Fluttershy said sincerely. Rainbow’s blush had progressed to full bloom.

“I’d be amenable to it,” Luna nodded.

“Sure thing,” Rainbow agreed. I noticed Fluttershy was still holding Rainbow’s hand. I couldn’t be more pleased with how things were turning out.

With plans for future dates agreed upon, even if the details could be hammered out later, we all headed home for the night.

Author's Note

I completely underestimated how much my surgery would put me on my ass. My nose is still sore and stiff feeling and I'm starting to become slightly concerned.

The first week was hell. My nose was constantly bleeding and the braces they put up my nose were uncomfortable as all get out and my body had an immune system reaction to them. After they were out it slowly got better until I was able to breathe again and better than ever. This last month has basically been me sleeping, eating, writing a few words, maybe playing some games if I have the energy, and going back to sleep.

20+ years of sleep debt is a hell of a drug. I'm still feeling kinda blegh. But at least I managed to finish this.

In other news, I decided that in this time of improvement I might as well try and fix my diet. Less sugar and junk food, more keto-like. I'm not cutting out carbs entirely, both because my doctor said I didn't have to and because I don't think I could afford it without having some cheap pasta/bread to fill out my meal roster from time to time.

I'm also currently looking into things like Factor meal kits. If they're affordable enough and taste decent, I can just have them prep me keto meals and not have to worry about shopping for myself and potentially getting tempted by those dastardly carbs. Or sweets. Mostly the sweets.

Hopefully I can get back into my usual monthly uploads.

That's the Power of Love

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 38

Winter was finally winding down. March was here and Winter Wrap Up was days away. As for today, it was relatively pleasant weather for the time of year and I was just lying down on a small hill in my backyard. A book was within easy reach should I desire it. Summer had been working me like a dog recently and I was just taking a day to relax.

Of course, for me ‘relaxing’ still entailed my mind incessantly chewing on some issue or another, large or small. On this particular day I was still mulling over the issue of heating up my chi and/or stealing other people’s heat. My magic weakness was becoming an ever pressing issue. Luna’s investigations had turned up another cell of cultists, but they had managed to give her men the slip and I was becoming more anxious by the day.

Aside from becoming a chi vampire or supercharging a ‘hot’ emotion, I had also started wondering if ‘pressurizing’ my chi was possible. How I would actually go about doing so, I hadn’t the faintest idea. Even if I could do so, it sounded distinctly unhealthy, so it was something I had more or less shelved.

The other idea my mind was working on was a sort of ‘point defense’ idea. If I could sever the connection of magic from caster to me, then the spell would fall apart. So theoretically all I would have to do was superheat the point of contact or create a small spot of superheated chi between me and the spell caster where the mana was flowing.

Of course, that idea still required me to know how to superheat my chi in the first place, but it sounded more practical than heating the entirety of my chi. Though I was no closer to figuring out how to be a chi vampire either, since in the Ranma ½ canon, Hinako had had her metabolism modified at a young age by Happosai in order to be able to do what she did.

Wouldn’t it be convenient if my body started processing mana after living in a mana-rich environment? Of course, I had asked after that possibility and Twilight had confirmed I was out of luck as far as that solution was concerned. Unless something drastically altered my biology, which to be fair, wasn’t an impossibility in this world. Although I would probably be hesitant about such a thing, I think my biology has been messed with enough, thanks.

Another possible solution was wearing some kind of magic-retardant armor, but not only would that hinder my fighting abilities to unacceptable levels, I was also paranoid about any item-based immunity failing me at the worst possible time or getting caught with my pants down, literally. Wearing such a thing 24/7 would be just impractical.

“There has to be something I’m overlooking. I’m going to feel so dumb when I figure it out,” I sighed out loud.

“Figure what out?” Thistle stood over me as she asked. I explained to her the issue I’ve been having with magic and my possible solutions. Thistle blinked a few times and then looked at me like I was an idiot.

“Is not love considered a ‘hot’ emotion? Do the bards not sing of fiery passion invoked by love?” Thistle asked.

My mind short-circuited. How had I not realized that sooner?! I WAS IN AN MLP WORLD! LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP WERE WHAT MADE THE WORLD GO ROUND! LITERALLY! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Thistle seemed to sense my inner turmoil and seemed all too pleased with herself for causing it. She had a definite air of ‘don’t underestimate me mortal!’ to her.

“I hate you,” I eventually managed to say through the immense frustration blockading my brain.

“If lies make you happy,” Thistle replied with an amused grin. She then wandered off, content in her superiority over me, leaving me to stew in my own inadequacies. Oh well. At least now I had a place to start working from.

…After I got done with the busywork surrounding Winter Wrap Up, of course.

Author's Note

It has been an exceptionally long month. Family drama, getting sick, my laptop breaking, trying a new diet with Factor_ that I ended up cancelling because the food was awful, and more.

Family drama is family drama and this particular instance of family drama is particularly personally, so that's all I'll say about it.

The sickness was just me catching a case of what I think is Pink Eye. Or whatever it is has my eyes hurting, feeling dry, and waking up with my eyes crusty, so if it isn't pink eye, it's some kind of eye infection. It's nothing too serious, just makes writing or otherwise looking at my screen for long periods of time a pain.

My laptop's keyboard keys started sticking and then falling out, so I had to send it in for repairs. Not sure when I'll get it back. I'm never buying a Lenovo again.

I decided I wanted to try losing some weight so my doctor told me to go on a semi-keto diet. I know myself well enough that if I do my own shopping at least a few non-approved items will find their way in. So I decided to try a meal kit thing. I ended up going with Factor_. But their food was awful. To the point of nearly being inedible. So I ended up cancelling it. Might try Hello Fresh or something later.

Next chapter look forward to Winter Wrap Up shenanigans. It'll be like Christmas in July! :pinkiecrazy:

A Peaceful Winter Wrap Up

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 39

Winter Wrap Up was upon us. Given Twilight had been put in charge of organization, there was a distinct lack of panicked chaos as everyone scurried around in a frenzied haste to try and get things done on time.

Now, one might assume as a non-pony who doesn’t have pony magic, I would be not all that helpful in Winter Wrap Up. And you’d be right for the most part. While I could skate on the lake well enough and do arts and crafts for the wildlife, I couldn’t participate in any of the heavy lifting, like moving the snow clouds into storage or reenergizing the land.

That’s not to say I didn’t have my own role to fill. As I had filled the slot of local handyman, I was going around doing basic things like reapplying paint, fixing leaky roofs, cleaning out gutters, that sort of stuff. I had been studying up for this all winter. It was sweaty work, but it was honest work.

As I was working I’d occasionally see Rainbow busting a few of the excess clouds or Fluttershy leading this or that animal around. Overall it was a peaceful day.

If you had told me back when I was majoring in computer sciences that I’d end up as a handyman, I wouldn’t have believed you. But then, I was also under the assumption that Displaced was just a genre of isekai, so shows what I knew back then. Although I can’t exactly say I’m upset with how things turned out.

“Hey Ranma, you almost done up there?” I heard Applejack call out to me.

“Just about!” I called back as I put down the last of the replacement shingles, ready to be put into place on the roof I was on, “What do you need?”

“The Flower Triplets asked me to find you, they want you to repaint their garden fence!” She told me. I blinked.

“They told me not an hour ago that they didn’t need that fence painted!” I said.

“You know how those three are, wishy-washier than an eel in a bathtub,” AJ shook her head.

“I’ll take care of it,” I told her. AJ nodded and took off for wherever she was needed next.

I finished up with the roof I was on and headed over to the Flower trio. They were about as decisive as I expected.

“So you three want me to paint this fence cherry blossom pink?” I asked.

“Yes, we’re sure,” The eldest sister Rose said.

“Absolutely,” The middle sister Lily added.

“100%” Daisy, the youngest, chimed in. I wrote it down in my handy dandy notepad. Something that had persisted from my old life was my ability to completely forget something someone told me five seconds ago. I was and still am a complete space cadet at times. It was Luna who got me the notebook, as she used to be the exact same way back in the throes of her ancient depression.

With their order in hand, I turned to leave…

“Actually…” The trio said together. I sighed heavily.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Maybe a rose red would be better?” Rose said

“It would be quite striking,” Daisy said.

“It might be too striking?” Lily said. The sisters then fell once more into a debate about what color would be best for their fence. I silently crossed out cherry blossom pink on my notepad.

Eventually I got the three to stick to a color and went out to buy it and got to work painting the fence. I could almost feel the trio staring at me as I did so. I could almost hear their second thoughts in my head. But I had told them firmly I had other things to do today and wasn’t going to play ‘spin the color wheel’ with them for hours.

Once I was done with that, I returned to the route I had originally planned for today. I heard there was some excitement with Starlight being a little overeager to participate in the Winter Wrap Up, but I didn’t catch it, so I was left with a normal day of fixing and painting, which on one hand, I’m sad I missed out, but on the other, a normal day before I began the next step of my training was probably for the best. I needed a clear head if I was going got conquer my inner demons, after all.

Author's Note

July has just been utterly exhausting for me. Family fights and the AC going out in the middle of a heatwave and no one being able to fix it for two weeks are the main culprits.

However, I've also been taking Japanese classes and while I like that I'm picking up a new skill, it's a little bit draining on my mental energy. Trying to remember the difference between soko, doko, and sore and remembering to put san after every name are just a few of the things that commonly trip me up. Ultimately I want to become a translator, so here's hoping.

Firestarter

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 40

I felt like the world’s biggest dork. I was standing in a field trying to weaponize the love I had for my girlfriends while Summer watched me with an amused smirk. The amused smirk was not helping. The intense feeling of self-consciousness was not conductive to my efforts.

“Is you being here strictly necessary?” I asked through grit teeth. Summer seemed to delight in my frustration.

“If the whole point of this is to do it in a fight, you can’t let yourself get embarrassed,” Summer said, “So yes, me being here is necessary.”

I barely resisted the urge to groan. Well, if I was gonna be powered by love and friendship, no better place than Equestria, I suppose. Now if only I wasn’t cripplingly in my own way. There had to be something I could do to quash this squirming mass of conflicting feelings in my chest and focus on the power of love.

If only I didn’t want to bury myself in a ditch just for having that thought cross my mind. As much as I enjoyed MLP and magical girls shows and such, trying to do it myself was, as the kids would say, cringe as hell. Or at least it felt that way to me.

Oh to have the kind of simpleminded confidence to do this without wanting to lose my lunch. But alas, I am the mass of mental health crises that that I am. There are those who say a man is naught but a miserable pile of secrets. I am a miserable pile of psychoses.

That said, for all my bellyaching, I still prefer me as I am and since coming to Equestria my mental health has been slowly getting better. Probably has nothing to do with my current predicament. Naught but a personality reprogramming could save me from this particular agony.

“Do you even know if this will work? You might be putting yourself through this for nothing,” Summer commented unhelpfully.

“Yes, it’ll work,” I replied shortly, unable to suppress a blush. Summer noticed and raised an eyebrow.

“Sounds like there’s a story there,” Summer said.

“I may or may not have singed some of Flutter’s feathers while we were cuddling the other day,” I admitted, my blush burning brighter, “So I know I can generate the heat I need.”

“I’d say so,” Summer said, her expression torn between impressed and a desire to laugh at me.

“So it’s just a matter of doing it on purpose and on command,” I continued.

“That does tend to be the hard part of these sorts of things,” Summer nodded

“Any tips, o wise one?” I asked with a bit of sarcasm.

“Unfortunately, this is something you have to figure out for yourself,” Summer shrugged, “You already know the basics of meditation.”

“Darn, just my luck, no easy magic solution,” I said dryly, “The life of a martial artist is truly fraught with peril.”

“You say that, but didn’t you just rescue your girlfriend from Changeling Cultists not too long ago?” Summer pointed out.

“Touché,” I replied. Sunny then got up and brushed herself off.

“I’m gonna go get some lunch. You wanna come with?” She asked.

“Nah, I want to keep thinking about this for a bit longer,” I replied.

“Alright, but there’s also something to be said for mentally resetting when you get stuck, coming back with a fresh perspective,” She told me.

“Sound advice, now if only I could follow it so easily,” I said ruefully.

“You’ll figure it out. Then we can get back to teaching you how to kick and punch real good,” She giggled.

“That is a part of my training that’s been sadly neglected for the past couple of months,” I nodded.

“And I know you’ve been wanting to work in some strength training for your female form,” Summer added.

“Might be better if I multitask, do the strength training and think about how I’m gonna do this power of love thing,” I mused.

“I’ve heard worse ideas,” Summer replied, “And now I really am going, because I am hungry.”

“Alright, talk to you later,” I bid and she walked off.

I had a lot of thinking to do and a lot of options, but it was better than the lot of thinking and no options I had been stuck with before. I should probably do something nice for Thistle. Even if she had been unbearable smug for the last couple of days, she still got me out of a jam. Maybe I could make some terra preta soil for her tree? I’m sure she’d like that.

“Probably a better use of my time than bashing my head against a brick wall too,” I muttered to myself. So I got up and went home to do just that.

Author's Note

Another month, another slew of issues. So at the beginning of the month my internet decided to kick the bucket. Nothing I did could fix it. I called my ISP. They sent out a tech. The tech couldn't fix it. The sent out a higher level tech. That tech couldn't fix it. Finally the area supervisor showed up and I bought a new modem and my internet has more or less been OK since then. I'm now going to have them come out and redo the hardline to my house so I can put my modem in a place where I can get ethernet on my computer.

So yeah, I basically had no internet this month. Fun. As someone who works from home and relies on internet to do his job...less fun.

Lost in the Woods

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 41

I was lost. I was cold. I was hungry. Worst than that, I was lost in the middle of the Everfree Forest. How did I find myself in this fine predicament? Two words: Cutiemark Crusaders. I had been roped into helping out with their latest harebrain scheme and had ended up the victim of a teleportation accident.

Now, usually the cold wouldn’t be such a big deal. I could just heat up my chi and warm myself. Unfortunately, that took a lot of energy. That meant a lot of food. That wound back around to me being hungry. I judged that conserving energy was more important and I could live with a little bit of cold. Especially once I started to move around to make a camp and scavenge for food.

Thank you Boy Scout wilderness survival training. I hated it as a kid, but it was saving my bacon now. First I needed to secure a source of water. Fortunately various rivers and streams crisscrossed the Everfree, so it didn’t take much effort to find one. Conventional wisdom holds that fast moving water is safe to drink. Conventional wisdom is wrong. It’s certainly safer to drink fast moving water than it is stagnant water, but it still has its risks.

I had no intention of risking an infection from bad water. While I think I could have made something to boil water in, I thankfully had a metal water bottle on me that I could use to boil water instead once I got a fire going. Carrying it around was a habit I was thankful I had gotten into as a repairman and martial artist and it had come in handy once again. Hydration is important!

With water secured, I needed shelter and food. Popping my head above the canopy couldn’t hurt either. If I was lucky, I could see Ponyville from where I was and some dexterous tree jumping would see me home sooner rather than later.

I scurried up a nearby tree and upon breaking the canopy, looked in all directions. Of course, I shouldn’t be so lucky as to be able to see anything familiar. I couldn’t even see Mt. Canterhorn, the mountain upon which Canterlot rests. I must be really deep in the forest then.

I dropped back down to the forest floor and started looking for shelter and food. The shelter was easy enough. I was strong enough even in my female form to tear down larger tree limbs and build myself a little shelter using vines as rope and larger leaves as cover. Thank you Survivorman.

Shelter and water taken care of, I needed food. Quite badly if the growling of my stomach was anything to go by. Given I wasn’t an expert on edible plants by any stretch of the imagination and plants in the Everfree even less so, I wasn’t really of a mind to risk eating and of the plants, fruits, or mushrooms I came across. The chances of them being poisonous were too high for my liking.

That left me with hunting or fishing. Fortunately the same river I was drawing water from also had some fish in it, so for the moment all my basic needs were taken care of. Now all I had to do was wait.

One of the perks of having Luna as a girlfriend was her access to the dream realm. All I had to do was wait for someone to notice I was missing, go to sleep, and she’d get in contact. Hopefully the CMC actually told someone what happened and didn’t try and cover it up. Wait, that wouldn’t matter. Luna’s guards who watch everything we do would’ve seen what happened.

I don’t know whether to be happy or worried that I completely forget they exist half the time. But if they could trace the teleport to me, then I’d lean towards happy.

So secure in that knowledge, I sat down to start a fire so I could cook my fish. I wondered how long it would take for someone to find me. I’d have to ask Twilight or someone about magical tracking methods when I got back. I didn’t anticipate such a thing happening to me again, but if it happened once it could happen again. Or I could get lost in a completely unrelated incident, knowing my luck.

The hours passed in dull tedium, I was doing some light exercise while keeping the fire going. I didn’t want to expend too much of my energy just in case one of the monsters of the Everfree showed up.

Speak of the devil; I heard a roar that was uncomfortably close. The question now was do I hope it passes me by? Do I go and confront it away from my camp? Or do I let it come to me and hope I can use the fire here to fend off whatever it was? I was paralyzed by indecision. It would be a lot easier to decide if I knew what had made that roar, but I was very reluctant to leave my camp.

It seemed my choice was made for me as I heard thunderous, plodding steps drawing closer. It didn’t sound big enough to be a hydra, which was good, but that still left Manticore, Chimera, and a whole host of other nasty Greek mythology inspired monsters. Best case scenario it was the Manticore Fluttershy helped during the Nightmare Moon incident.

Of course, no such luck. The monster that came stalking out of the gloom was a lesser known, but no less dangerous beast I recognized as a Catoblepas. A hulking buffalo-like monstrosity with toxic breath and huge horns and, depending on the exact myth, looks so ugly it could kill.

As I hadn’t instantly been struck dead by gazing upon it, I supposed this particular version didn’t carry that curse. I was grateful for that much at least. It locked its single cyclopean eye on me and let out another bellow and I could see toxic fumes escaping from its putrid mouth. I had two options, run or fight.

I didn’t know how toxic this thing’s breath was, given basilisks in this world turned you to stone instead of instantly killing you. But I wasn’t eager to find out firsthand. There was also the distinct possibility this thing had other tricks up its sleeves. Running was probably the wiser of the choices.

That said, running meant potentially become more lost and not being able to find my way back to camp. As the Catoblepas pawed the ground, looking to get ready to charge, my mind snapped to a third option. I looked around for the sturdiest looking tree and bolted up it.

The Catoblepas responded to my movement and charged, but I was more than fast enough to get far enough up the tree to avoid being gored by its massive horns. The tree shock with the impact of the beast, but didn’t fall. The monster beat its head against the tree several more times before glaring balefully up at me. It roared in frustration. I got the impression it wasn’t going to let me come down any time soon.

Every so often it would try and bash the tree again, but to no avail. It was sure as hell annoying though when I was trying to get to sleep some hours later.

“Go to sleep you dumb cow!” I shouted at it and got a roar in return.

Eventually the cow did go to sleep and so did I. It wasn’t long before my favorite moon princess appeared.

“Ranma!” Luna cried and hugged me, “Are you OK? You’re not hurt?” She asked worriedly.

“I’m…not hurt. I landed somewhere deep in the Everfree and I’m currently treed by a Catoblepas,” I told her.

“WHAT?!” Luna shouted, “Are you sure?!”

“I’ve been staring at its ugly mug for the past several hours while it tried to knock me out of the tree I’m in, so I’m fairly certain,” I said dryly.

“Alright, alright,” Luna said rubbing her hand over her face, “How safe are you?”

“I don’t think the Catoblepas can knock down the tree I’m in, so fairly safe,” I answered.

“OK. Stay put. I can use your position here in the dream realm to track you in the waking world. We’ll take care of the beast and you’ll be home before sunrise,” Luna promised

“Will do,” I saluted. Luna gave me a quick peck on the lips and vanished, presumably to the waking world to gather people for my rescue. I was shaken out of the dream world myself by the cow deciding it wanted to head butt the tree some more. That’s when I noticed a problem. The thing’s breath was slowly corroding the tree trunk.

I could start jumping from tree to tree, but none of the trees were quite as sturdy looking at the one I was currently on. Hopefully Luna got here before that became a concern.

The minutes ticked by and the tree started creaking ominously. I started scanning for the next best tree to inhabit. Then a flash of teleportation! Luna, a couple of her guards, Rainbow, and Fluttershy appeared. All things considered, I shouldn’t have been surprised by what happened next.

Fluttershy zeroed in on the Catoblepas, which had turned around upon seeing the flash of light, marched up to it, grabbed it by the horns, and activated The Stare.

“No one. Attacks. My. BOYFRIEND!” She roared. Thanks to the power of The Stare the cow was, well, cowed, “Leave!” Fluttershy commanded and the Catoblepas was all too happy to scurry back into the gloom of the Everfree Forest.

This happened just in time too, as the tree I was in finally gave up the ghost and I jumped clear as it fell over.

“We arrived just in time it seems,” Luna commented, utterly nonplussed by Fluttershy’s handling of the monster.

“Daaaamn, Flutters,” Rainbow said, causing Fluttershy to blush.

“I just wanted to help,” She said demurely.

“I’d say you did that very well,” I said and pecked her cheek, causing her to blush even more, “Now then, I’d very much like to end this misadventure with a hot shower and my bed.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Luna said teleported us all back to Ponyville.

Author's Note

Well this one got away from me a bit.

Testing the Flames

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 42

I was finally at a point in my training with my heat aura where I could summon it at will and maintain it for a prolonged period of time. Now the main and final obstacle was being able to maintain it while in combat. After all, if I couldn’t fight while maintaining it, then this whole technique was pretty much worthless.

Thus a fine Tuesday morning found me facing off against Summer. Rainbow and Twilight were on the sidelines, interested in the outcome of the match for different reasons. As a Kirin, Summer was capable of using magic, even if she rarely did so.

“Are you ready Ranma?” Summer asked as she took her usual stance.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I answered, falling into my own more relaxed stance. I called up the feelings of love I had for my girls. My aura ignited. I had learned how to control the temperature. Hot enough to block magic, not hot enough to singe the grass at my feet. It was another drain on my focus until I learned to do it subconsciously.

I felt a pressure at the edge of my aura as Summer’s horn glowed, signifying she was already trying to use magic on me. I focused on keeping my chi hot enough to block it when Summer dashed forward aggressively. I had to remember to maintain my chi barrier subconsciously!

I tried to fend off Summer’s attack. My defense was sloppy. I knew it was sloppy, but it was either a sloppy defense, getting hit a couple of times or getting thrown about like a ragdoll by Summer’s magic. I tried to stamp out the frustration as I took hits I hadn’t gotten tagged by since I first started training with Summer.

My movements started becoming sluggish, but not from any tiredness. My chi barrier was breaking down and Summer’s magic was slowing me. It wasn’t long after it completely failed and I was stuck in place.

“Well, it’s a proof of concept if nothing else,” Twilight said as Summer released me.

“Yeah, I just need to get out of my own head long enough to put it all on auto pilot,” I said, taking a deep breath to cleanse my frustration.

“Which has almost always been your problem,” My dear teacher chimed in.

“And so the more things change the more they stay the same,” I sighed.

“It’s still more than what you had a month ago,” Rainbow consoled me, clapping a hand on my back.

“That’s true,” I conceded as Twilight scribbled something down on a notepad.

“That this is possible at all could have massive implications on our understanding of how magic interacts with sapient life,” Twilight said.

“I always enjoy being part of the cutting edge of science,” Twilight must have caught my double meaning, if the flat look she gave me was any indication.

“You’re hysterical Ranma,” She said dryly and went back to scribbling notes, “Are you two going to continue today or..?”

“No, at this point sparring will do Ranma no good,” Summer intervened before I could answer myself, “His practice for now will be maintaining his hot chi while in his daily life until it becomes second nature to have it active.”

“Well, if sensei says so, then I’ve got no choice,” I shrugged.

“Daily life means now Ranma,” Summer barked and I scrambled to reignite my chi, “Good, remember to keep it up. I’ll be watching.”

With those ominous words, Summer walked off.

“Well, I’m still in the mood to do something, so I might as well jog around the lake. Wanna join me RD?” I ask.

“Sure, let’s go!” Rainbow said eagerly.

“I’ll be heading back to my castle. I have paperwork to do,” Twilight said with the kind of glee only she could produce in the face of such a prospect. She flew off, leaving me and Rainbow by ourselves to jog around the lake.

Author's Note

October is over and I feel the first vestiges of the winter blues knocking on my doorstep.

Preparations for the move are in full swing, although the target destination may change from Alabama to Idaho?! Despite how strange it seems, the original reason for moving to Alabama was for my Mom to be closer to her side of the family. However, recent events have caused those relationships to become...strained. So instead we might be moving to a place with snow (which Mom loves) and near the college my siblings attend.

A Wintery Date

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 44

Luna had announced a couple of days ago she wanted to take us all on a dream date in the dreamscape. Fluttershy, Rainbow, and I had been looking forward to it, but none of us quite expected the scene that greeted us as we fell asleep.

“Luna, why is there Christmas music play? Excuse me, Hearth’s Warming music?” I asked as our eyes beheld a veritable winter wonderland with giant candy canes and everything.

“I’m not sure. I just felt the desire to have a Hearth’s Warming date as a group, so I thought why wait for December to come around again to do so?” Luna shrugged as she stirred herself a mug of hot coco, “Besides, wasn’t it you who told me that we should keep Christmas in our hearts all year?”

“I remember something along those lines as well,” Fluttershy chimed in.

“Guilty as charged,” I admitted.

“So, what are we gonna be doing?” Rainbow asked, eying some gingerbread snowboards eagerly.

“Everything and anything Rainbow, tis a dream of sugarplum fairies, after all,” Luna grinned. Rainbow, unable to contain herself anymore, bolted for the snowboards and was off shredding snow.

“She really can’t sit still, can she?” I mused with some affection.

“She wouldn’t be Rainbow otherwise,” Fluttershy giggled. The rest of us decided to follow her lead, taking snowboards for ourselves and spent some time shredding the white, or whatever it was the kids say these days.

After an unclear amount of dream time messing about like that, we decided to put aside the snowboards and went into a house Luna had created and snuggled in together under a large blanket while drinking hot coco.

“Hey, we should sing some carols or something,” Fluttershy said.

“We could do one better,” Luna lit her horn and a radio appeared on top of the fireplace, “Now we can take turns and the radio will play the song we’re thinking of!”

“Hey, Ranma, why don’t you go first? I wanna hear some alien holiday songs,” Rainbow said.

“Sure,” I shrugged and frowned as I tried to think of the best Christmas song to kick things off with. Unlike most who had ever worked in retail during the Christmas season, I hadn’t been driven to PTSD when hearing certain songs. I debated sharing a particularly hated earworm of a song, but decided I wasn’t quite that evil.

Given this would be their first ever Christmas song, I was inclined to share a classic. And when my mind went to classics…well, it was doubly appropriate given we were in the dream realm.

A familiar deep baritone came out buttery smooth from the radio sitting atop the fireplace. Truly the classic Christmas song. We all listened until the last note faded.

“That was lovely,” Fluttershy said.

“I liked the old timey radio feel. Reminds me of when my parents would play their vinyl,” Rainbow commented.

“When it comes to Christmas songs that aren’t centuries old hymns, it’s probably the most well known and universally liked,” I said.

We continued sharing music, with Luna pulling out some truly ancient and majestic Hearth’s Warming carols that time had forgotten. As a lover of music, I was of a mind to encourage Luna to revive them. My cajoling was soon joined by Fluttershy and Rainbow.

“M-Maybe next Hearth’s Warming, I would need time to prepare and get a choir ready and…” Luna trailed off hesitantly, but we could see her reluctance for what it was. She was still worried about being rejected, that gathering a choir together would be impossible for her. That no one would want to work with her.

“I think I know a few people who might be interested,” Fluttershy said, gently taking Luna’s hand.

“And I’m sure if we mention to Twilight we want to revive a piece of history she’ll be tripping over herself to help,” Rainbow commented.

“Asking your sister for help probably wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world either,” I chimed in.

Luna looked conflicted. Hesitance to put herself out there warred with the desire to see her favorite carols being sung by a true choir once again. To hear the music swelling within a orchestra hall in the modern day.

“I will…speak to Celestia about it,” Luna eventually decided, “No harm will come of just asking.”

“And by this time next year we’ll have the Trans-Lunar Orchestra,” I grinned. Luna’s ears flicked at me, clearly liking the idea of having her own musical troupe.

“That has a certain ring to it…” She said quietly.

“Then let’s do it!” Rainbow cheered.

“You make convincing arguments,” Luna said and pulled us all in for a big group hug.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming,” I said.

“Merry Christmas,” The other three replied and we cuddled the rest of the night away.

Author's Note

So...the timetable for the move has been advanced significantly. What was supposed to take place in June is now taking place in February...

As such, next chapter probably won't be until March as we all scramble to get things ready and then settle down at the new place. But as with all things, there may be unforeseen difficulties, so don't be shocked if the next chapter isn't until April.

True Names

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 45

I was taking a break day. As much as I didn’t like it, I needed the rest. I’d been trying to maintain my heat aura for the last 72 hours, even in my sleep. I’d like to thank Twilight for letting me borrow her thermal camera so I could record myself while sleeping. It had been extremely draining and I had dropped it a handful of times, but the progress was undeniable.

I had wanted to keep pushing forward until I had fully mastered it, carrying what I felt was some momentum, but Summer had set Fluttershy after me to make sure I rested. My lovely girlfriend had then set me down in front of her computer, put her tablet and drawing stencil in my hands, and sat on her couch to drink tea while keeping her eye on me.

It was her way of gently reminding me that I had left much of my life by the wayside in my single minded pursuit of the strength I needed to protect those I care about. I could almost hear the lecture without her saying a word. Luna, Fluttershy, and Rainbow all cared about me just as much as I cared about them. They wanted me to be happy too. And that meant not ignoring things I enjoy, like trying to learn to draw.

So I surrendered to my girlfriend’s superior wisdom and started thinking about what exactly it was I wanted to draw. I had little and less experience and this might be the hardest part of any creative process for me: figuring out what I wanted to do. It was a problem I often encountered when writing, staring at a blank page to figure out what kind of story I wanted to tell.

Eventually an idea did come to me: a self-portrait of my old self. I figured a rough drawing of my old appearance shouldn’t be too hard to draw and gave me a reasonably strict parameter to work with so I didn’t wander off script. I just hoped it would be recognizable as a human being at the end. A pessimistic thought, but there it was.

For whatever reason I thought it would look better if I were sitting down, so I got to work drawing a basic wooden chair. Four legs, a back, nothing fancy. I then started drawing from my feet up. So far so good. I don’t exactly remember how big my feet were in relation to the rest of me, nor how exactly to scale it down, but when I finished the legs and lower torso, nothing looked horribly out of place.

The upper torso soon followed, and then arms, hands, finally I turned my attention to my head and face and…I blinked and the drawing was already done. But where my face should be was a black blur. A chill ran down my spine.

“W-What a strange fluke…” I said quietly as to not disturb Fluttershy, hoping against hope that this wasn’t the omen I thought it was. I erased the entire head and…a single blink and that horrible black blur was back. Existential dread filled my being. Not remembering my old name? I could laugh it off as weird selective amnesia or part of the magic that had changed my body into a perfect replica of Ranma Saotome. That had been before confronting a cult of Changelings that worshiped some eldritch god, one with enough real power that I had felt it when Luna had challenged It to save Fluttershy.

Now trying to draw my old face I blank out completely and come to with a black void where my face should be? Not once, but twice? The likely reality of my situation started to settle in. I started trembling like a leaf in a hurricane.

“F-Fluttershy?” I called out weakly; I could barely force the words out of my mouth. Fluttershy looked up from her book.

“What’s wrong Ranma?” Her great empathy instantly attuned to how fragile my state of mind truly was.

“Luna…” The frail whisper barely escaped my lips before the panic attack fully took me.

_________________________________________________________________________

Luna was filling out paperwork when the emergency line on her phone rang. The surprise caused her to fumble with her phone for a few moments before answering.

“Luna here, what’s wrong?” Luna asked.

“Luna, I need you at my house NOW!” Fluttershy’s terrified voice came across the line. Luna wasted no time gathering the mana required for the long range teleport to Ponyville.

“I’ll be there in a moment,” Luna promised her love and hung up to better focus on the spell. Seconds later the formula finished in her head and in a flurry of sparkles, she was gone. A mere moment later she reappeared in Fluttershy’s cottage.

She surveyed the room and found her boyfriend / part time girlfriend curled into a ball on Fluttershy’s couch, silent sobs wracking his frame as he shook violently.

“Fluttershy, what happened?!” Luna demanded.

“I don’t know, Ranma was drawing and then he suddenly called my name, then yours, and then broke down!” Fluttershy told her, worry writ across her face as she tried to hold Ranma’s hand. He was utterly unresponsive to her presence.

“Where’s the drawing?” Luna asked and Fluttershy pointed to the computer. A single glance at what was on the screen and Luna’s heart stopped. Fluttershy sensed Luna’s reaction.

“What is it? Do you know what’s going on?” Fluttershy asked, eyes searching Luna’s face for answers.

Luna’s jaw worked as she tried to find the right words. How do you deliver news like this? What could possibly be said? Luna’s own heart was a war torn between despair and rage and defiance.

“Fluttershy, have you told Rainbow?” Luna asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

“I was going to after you arrived,” Fluttershy replied.

“Summon her please,” Luna replied, “I…I know not if I have the strength to explain this twice.”

Fluttershy gulped and did as bid, calling Rainbow. Luna hated this weakness within herself. She hated that as she kneeled down beside Ranma next to Fluttershy, taking his other hand that her own hands were trembling slightly. How many times had she gone into battle? How many times had she had to inform next of kin that their loved ones had fallen in battle? She was supposed to be a Princess, a leader, yet in this moment she felt no more than a little girl playing dress up.

It was a bitter reminder that no matter what position you hold, there would always be a bigger fish. Always someone…or something better, with more skill or experience or power.

Rainbow burst through the door, “What’s wrong?!”

Her eyes were drawn to the couch. To Luna and Fluttershy around the broken Ranma. Rainbow’s magenta eyes were wide in confusion and fear.

“I will explain,” Luna said, mustering every last iota of self-discipline she had to keep her voice steady. Fluttershy and Rainbow turned to her in rapt attention, eager to know the cause of their shared love’s suffering and if something could be done about it.

“To put it bluntly, Ranma’s True Name is no longer his. Thus, his identity, his very soul, is at the whim of whatever now has it,” Luna replied.

“That sounds…really bad,” Rainbow said, trying to wrap her head around the enormity of what had just been said.

“Most of the beings that deal in True Names and souls are far beyond even my power to combat or even parley with, goddess though I may be,” Luna said solemnly.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?!” Fluttershy shouted her eyes wet with tears.

“Hope is not entirely lost, but I will not lie to you. Every avenue is a long shot. At any moment Ranma could be taken from us and there would be nothing we could do. We can only pray that while we figure out our next move that whatever holds Ranma’s leash does not yank it,” Luna looked down at the floor, trying to hide how close to crying she was.

“Then we find out who has Ranma’s Name and beat them up!” Rainbow yelled full of defiant fury, “We can get the other girls and blast em with a rainbow!”

“While I doubt it will be that simple, finding out who has Ranma’s True Name might indeed be our best first step,” Luna said.

“How do we do that?” Rainbow asked.

“I will get in touch with certain beings, but for now, I just wish to remain by Ranma’s side until sleep finds him, no matter how troubled,” Luna replied gently.

Rainbow was torn between wanting immediate action and being with her loved ones. In the end, she took a place next to Luna. The three of them took silent vigil over Ranma as he rode out the panic attack.

Author's Note

So, the move is over and done with and boy was this one extra rough. There was a whole laundry list of bad choices (thanks Dad) and worse outcomes that went into how stressful it all was, but ultimately we're in the new house and slowly settling down and unpacking.

We're finally to the point where I have stable internet and the time to write.

I've been intending for a while for things to go somewhat down this route, but long time readers will know my habit of pinning demons to the wall with my writing when I get too stressed and depressed. Which is why this ended up the way it is. Still, I'd be lying if I said this habit wasn't helpful to me and produces what I think of as my best work. So it is what it is.

A Reality Faced

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 46

I awake feeling miserable and it takes me a few moments to remember why. Panic threatens to overtake me again but I bite my tongue. Hard. The pain and taste of coppery blood keeps me grounded. For all I spend half my time as a woman, I do still have a modicum of masculine pride. I could and would keep myself together for the sake of my girlfriends if nothing else. I had my little meltdown, now it was time for a stiff upper lip.

Of course, that mentality didn’t mean I had a plan or that a gnawing sense of dread hadn’t taken up residence in the back of my mind. Ultimately I was just someone who punched kinda good. I couldn’t even honestly claim to be on the same level of the real Ranma. He had been trained through extreme adversity; I merely happened to have some helpful muscle memory that let me emulate some of what he could do. And even the real thing hadn’t squared off against eldritch abominations.

The question of what to do about the possibly and probably evil entity that had stolen my soul and name could come later. I had to let Luna, Fluttershy, and Rainbow know I was awake and…well, OK might be overselling it, but at least stable. I threw back the covers and got up. I was half surprised Fluttershy at least wasn’t fretting at my bedside. How long had I been out?

I make myself presentable, if only barely, and step outside my room, which I had been relocated to sometime after I cried myself to sleep. I spy Rainbow crashed on my couch, snoring loudly, and can hear Luna and Fluttershy’s voices coming from the kitchen. I could choose to mess with Rainbow or I could go to the kitchen. As tempting as messing with Rainbow was, I could hear the distress in Luna and Fluttershy’s voices, even if I couldn’t quite make out the words themselves.

I stepped into the kitchen, “Morning girls,” I gave my best attempt at a winning smile. I was crushed in twin hugs almost immediately.

“Ranma!” They cried. I contemplated for a moment saying something glib, but minded my tongue. I just hugged them back.

“How are you?” Fluttershy eventually asked, looking at me with eyes full of her trademark concern.

“Better than I was before, but that’s not exactly saying much,” I admitted, “I’m just coping with this.”

“Luna told me a little of what’s going on…” Fluttershy said, gripping my hand tightly.

“We’ll figure something out,” Luna placed a hand on Fluttershy’s shoulder, trying to project more confidence than she felt. Fluttershy just nodded, not wanting to give her doubts voice.

“We should probably wake Rainbow. She was the last one to go to sleep last night, the poor thing,” Fluttershy said instead, moving to wake the slumbering mare, “Rainbow, wake up.”

Rainbow groaned and stretched as she returned to the waking world, “What time is it?”

“A little past 8:30,” Fluttershy said, “And Ranma’s awake.”

That last bit of info jolted Rainbow awake, who searched the area and saw me standing there near the entrance to the kitchen. She vaulted over the back of the couch and fussed over me with almost as much mother hen energy as Fluttershy could muster. It was endearing.

“I’m still in one piece Rainbow. Or as much as I ever was,” I said gently.

“That’s what worries me,” Rainbow replied, burying her head in my chest. I held her.

“It’ll all work out somehow,” I told her with as much certainty as I could find within myself.

“It better,” Rainbow grumbled with her usual stubbornness, “I’ll make sure of it!”

Her bravado meant more to me right then than I could say. Even if it was mostly bluster, it put a smile on my face. Her statement of blind confidence gave me some of my own back. I kissed her forehead.

“Thanks Rainbow. That means a lot to me,” I told her, causing her to flush red.

“W-Well good!” Rainbow stuttered. I ruffled her already messy hair in return. She tried to wave me off what she insisted was the perfect amount of messy already.

“I’ve made inquiries to a few sources I trust, hopefully they’ll turn up something soon,” Luna said.

“Well then for now all we can do is play the waiting game and prepare,” I said.

“Prepare how?” Fluttershy asked worriedly.

“That, Fluttershy, is an excellent question,” I sighed deeply.

Author's Note

This month has been pretty good to me all things considered. Cleared both UWU and TEA in FFXIV, got fiber internet to the new house, been trying to eat healthier, all that good stuff.

Tragically my family are all still massive pains in the butt and getting a good night's sleep is all but impossible with my niece and nephew screaming their lungs out at all hours of the night. So you win some you lose some.

Also the minor inconvenience of my boss trying to shame me for my religion and me consequently quitting because I wasn't going to put up with it. And I wouldn't be half so irked if he didn't profess to be a Christian too, but his "friends" told him that since I actually practiced what I preach it was either me or them. I left before he had to make a choice, although what he said after on twitter makes it pretty clear what he would have chosen, the gutless coward.

Twilight's Lament

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 47

Twilight Sparkle was pacing. Worse yet, there was no one around to put a stop to her restless pacing. Spike was doing errands with Rarity and Starlight was off doing something or other with Applejack. So Twilight paced in solitude, the throw rug bearing the brunt of her endless circling.

And why shouldn’t Twilight be pacing? She had failed. Dress it up however you like, Ranma’s very soul was in grave danger and NOT. A. SINGLE. BOOK. Held any answers. Not so much as a way to track his soul to whoever currently held it. Her wings fluffed in irritation. Some Alicorn Princess of Friendship she was. If she couldn’t even help a friend in a time of dire need. Even if she didn’t consider Ranma himself a friend, whom she did, he was still the boyfriend/part-time girlfriend of 3 of her closest friends. It was truly vexing.

This whole ordeal brought back foul memories of the Tirek incident. At least with Tirek, she could fight back. She could see the threat in front of her and had been able to do something about it! At least until he used her friends as meat shields. And now she felt that same powerlessness and this time there wasn’t a crystal tree to bail her out.

All she could do was wait for those with more experience, those who knew better, who were stronger to do something. Malcontent was certainly one way to describe how she felt. Cursing her own inadequacy seemed to be something she did a lot these days. She needed to improve. But how?

Celestia was the obvious answer. Yet her mentor, who had already been busy with running Equestria, was now split even further communing with eldritch horrors to try and find Ranma’s soul. She had too much on her plate.

Luna was likewise in a similar position to her sister. Busy with royal duties, a relationship, and finding Ranma’s soul. Twilight was almost tempted to go back in time and tell her past self to get off her lazy ass and learn the ropes of her Alicorn status before it became too late. But given the mess that had happened last time she tried that, well, she held off for now.

Then of course Cadance was busy with the Crystal Empire and her pregnancy. Twilight wouldn’t bother her with this when the baby was due any day. Shining was probably already stressed enough for the both of them. She didn’t need to add to that burden.

So with no answers, no way forward, all Twilight could bring herself to do was pace in circles as her mind chewed on the problem like a dog with a bone. There had to be something she could do! Anything! But for all her tireless pacing, no blinding revelation came to her. No moment of clarity shining the way she should go. Her mind was in complete chaos.

…Chaos? There was one being she could possibly ask for help from and could maybe help her. But even if he could help, would he? After the Tirek incident Fluttershy had sat them all down and gave them a long lecture about being better friends to Discord. It had been a bitter pill to swallow that their shallow pettiness towards Discord had been a large factor in how Tirek had come to power. Even if Discord didn’t always make it easy, they were supposed to be teaching him by example and none of the girls save Fluttershy could honestly say they had been very good examples. The shame of it still roiled in Twilights gut.

So, why not kill two birds with one stone? To actually try to be Discord’s friend properly and ask if there’s anything he can teach her. Twilight huffed in amusement. The Twilight of yesteryear would have been appalled at the very notion. Yet the Twilight of today was ashamed she hadn’t put forth more effort sooner and that the idea hadn’t occurred to her sooner. Old habits die hard it seems.

The more Twilight thought about it, the more she became convinced this was a good idea. Even if he couldn’t teach her, well, she was supposed to be the Princess of Friendship. It was high time she cleared this black mark from her record.

Author's Note

The situation in the house continues to deteriorate. My sister is getting on everyone's last nerve. I dunno how long it'll be before a major blowup.

Mental Strain

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 48

It’s amazing to me how much of a lack of perspective some people can have. And by some people, in this case I mean me. Despite my very life hanging by a thread, I still found it in myself to be annoyed by everyone’s hovering over me. Yes, I could literally disappear at any moment, but my inherent introvert still rankled at the forced abundance of my personal space being invaded.

And I do mean everyone, by the way! Somehow some version of what I was dealing with had gotten out into the public knowledge and everyone from Cranky Doo to Diamond Tiara of all people was checking up on me! What exactly they had been told, I probably didn’t want to know. I could find out and possibly correct them, but then I’d just be starting the game of telephone anew and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort.

And so, no matter how much I wanted to crawl off into Whitetail Woods and be alone for a bit, I stayed put. No amount of minor relief was worth the stress I’d put everyone through if they didn’t know where I was. So I just sucked it up.

In an effort to at least be under constant surveillance on my own terms, I was spending the day in Sugarcube Corner helping Pinkie with baking. The smell of cooking yeast was doing wonders for my fraying nerves. I won’t claim to be a world class pastry chef or anything but I had dabbled. My great grandma’s mondel bread, brownies, cookies, bread, these were a few of the things I had cooked at home.

Pinkie, for her part, was keeping chit-chat to a bare minimum, for which I was grateful. As surprisingly easy as Pinkie was on my social batteries, she could still be a bit much from time to time. Speaking of, I needed a solution to that problem before I snapped.

I had an idea but…bringing it up could be kind of awkward. I was considering asking Luna to make me a familiar in the same vein as the Tantabus. It could monitor me while not being intrusive and hopefully not become an existential threat.

Of course, I had no idea if this was the best idea or not, even removing that whole event. And now I was second guessing myself because I hesitated. What was the right course of action? I mulled these thoughts around and around in my head until I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Ranma, I think that dough is kneaded enough,” Pinkie said. I looked down at the bowl I had been working and saw the dough was a torn up mess.

“Dammit,” I swore under my breath, adding a little bit of water to try and loosen the dough back up. I felt Pinkie’s concerned eyes on me. I tamped down on the frustration welling up within me. I was just so powerless! And indecisive and feckless and just altogether worthless!

I groaned and put the bowl down. I knew better than to try and fix my mess when my head was getting to this state. Before I could keep beating myself up my mouth was invaded by chewy chocolate goodness. I tried to mumble something through the chocolate sealing my mouth, but Pinkie wasn’t having it.

“Shhh, just let the chocolate renew you,” She said. I didn’t fight it. I just savored the magically delicious treat, as only Pinkie could make them.

“Better?” She asked when I swallowed the last of it.

“A bit,” I said. I still felt that awful exhaustion in my head that came with my more intense depressive episodes, but I was no longer spiraling.

“Good,” She put a plate of brownies in my hands, “Go home, eat all of these, tell Thistle to watch over you, and go to bed. Doctor Pinkie’s orders!”

“Yes doctor,” I gave a weak smile. I turned to leave.

“Oh, and Ranma? Luna’s a big girl, you don’t have to worry so much,” Pinkie grinned that infectious grin of hers.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, not bothering to question how Pinkie knew. I simply made my way home, ate the brownies in peace, and put Thistle on guard duty while I crawled into bed and tried to put the day behind me.

Author's Note

This month has just been a ceaseless parade of "fuck you". Not the least of which being my laptop blue screening while I was writing this chapter and corrupting the auto-save, causing me to have to rewrite the whole thing.

Family drama, personal health issues, insomnia, my PC being on its last legs and will probably die soon, this month has had it all. I can only hope my PC holds out until Black Friday when I can afford a new one.

The light at the end of the tunnel is FFXIV: Dawntrail coming out in t- 8 days. I'm really looking forward to it and I've prepped everything I can possibly prep. I'm hoping to make a boatload of gil off the expansion launch!

Bargains

Dumb Displaced Fic Chapter 49

Luna was loath to do this, but she found herself with little other option. She stalked the halls of the Dream Realm, looking for a particular door. Normally she found the idea of stalking a sleeper in their dreams to be distasteful. Hers was the role of guardian of all dreams. It felt like an abuse of that power and duty.

And yet, there was someone she desperately needed to talk to; someone who was proving devilishly difficult to track down in the waking world. That someone being the current High Priest of the Cult of Blood.

In the month and a half since Fluttershy’s kidnapping Luna and those directly under her had done all they could to find and stamp out this cult, but they had proven experts at evading detection. Even when they did capture one or two cult members, they had proven all but impervious to interrogation and often had little information to begin with.

However, in the last week her desire to find the High Priest had taken on a different flavor. It had been two weeks since the captivity of Ranma’s soul had been brought to light. Neither Luna nor Celestia’s contacts with the greater cosmos had borne any fruit. Luna had never been the most patient of the two sisters and with the very soul of someone she loved at stake, that impatience had quickly boiled over.

Thus her current course of action, if she couldn’t get information from her usual sources, she’d simply have to find an unusual source. One that was less savory than those her sister would prefer they associate themselves with. In short she was hoping to speak with the Formless Mother directly and see if she knew anything.

Luna knew she could hold her own if things went south, but it wasn’t a plan without its own risks. Still, Luna wouldn’t rest until she had exhausted every avenue available to her. While in theory she could directly contact the Formless Mother, it could take weeks of searching to find a totem or catalyst she resonated with to get her attention. This was the more expedient course of action.

Of course, this plan wasn’t also without its difficulties. There was the small matter of breaking any enchantments that hid the High Priest’s dreams from her. This was actually her second night going over the dream realm with a fine tooth comb, looking for the slightest irregularity that could indicate a concealed dream.

There! The smallest of flickers, a blink and you miss it shimmer! No concealment spell was completely perfect and Luna’s persistence had paid off. With a twist of magic and will, the spell was ineloquently ripped from its metaphysical moorings to reveal the dream door she had been looking for. She didn’t much care if she was noticed; she was seeking an audience anyway.

She opened the door and strode through it, finding herself in a black morass. She cast her gaze about, looking for the High Priest somewhere in the murk. She also extended her magical awareness. She would find the High Priest even if they didn’t want to be found.

“Servant of the Formless Mother, I would speak with your patron!” Luna called out. From out of the gloom the figure of the Changeling emerged.

“And why would you wish an audience with the one true goddess?” The Changeling drawled.

“A matter of souls,” Luna said. The high priest seemed somewhat surprised by this answer.

“And why should I call forth the Great Mother?” The Changeling asked.

“A pint of my blood,” Luna said. As much as she was reluctant to offer such a prize, she knew it would speed along negotiations. The high priest’s eyes went wide.

“Very well,” Was the curt reply, “Wait just a moment.”

The High Priest faded back into the shadows. Luna waited patiently and soon enough the High Priest reappeared with an icon of some kind.

“Make your payment of blood and this will grant you audience,” The Changeling told her. Luna took the icon and quickly left. No sense tempting fate by staying in enemy territory longer than necessary.

Now, to make the preparations to make this meeting as safe as she could.

Author's Note

I tried to include the whole scene with the Formless Mother in this chapter, but this month has stretched me so thin I couldn't get it to a place I liked.

My head

This has not been a happy month.

The good:
DawnTrail is my favorite expansion so far. It's amazing.

The Bad:
Dad and Sister finally had an explosive fight. She's threatening to not pay rent anymore and he threatened to kick her out if she did.

I've had to start physical therapy, to which I'm going two hours a day twice a week because I've been experiencing pain in every part of my body. They're currently trying to schedule me for an MRI to see if I have a pinched nerve or something in my back.

My PC died. As far as I can tell the AIO cooler has completely given up the ghost. It took me a week, but I managed to get a cheap little air cooler as a patch job until I can save up for a full replacement.

Finally, my Dad has decided to take it upon himself to comment on everything I eat. I'm eating a salad? I should have added more celery or used different lettuce. I'm eating a pork chop I cooked myself? "Oh you're adding too much salt that's why you're having pains" even though I've told him the doctor said salt had nothing to do with it and the one food the doctor told me to avoid: tomatoes, I have been avoiding.

I'm this close to tell him to stick his opinions up his ass until and unless I ask for them.

So yeah, my stress levels are reaching critical and I don't know what to do or if I should keep writing or put everything on hiatus until I can get some control to where it isn't trashing the quality of my writing.

The Trail

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 50

It was late at night and my insomnia was acting up again. It had become more and more common as of late. Terrible vistas of emptiness gnawing at my mind as it refused to shut up due to my circumstances had a hand in that. Something I had recently found that helped was taking ice cold showers when I woke up from restless dreams.

I say helped, but I was still regularly waking up several times a night, to the point I had completely stopped bothering using hot water to swap back to my male form and had just accepted if I wanted even the scant scraps of sleep I got it would have to involve me being comfortable sleeping in my girl form.

If there was one thing I complain about this curse is that several things that someone learns in adolescence during puberty as their body develops, I never had the chance to learn. Or perhaps a better way of putting it is that I had no way or reason to learn them. I imagine if my female form were less ‘gifted’ as it were, at least a few of these things wouldn’t have been so much of an issue.

The biggest one being that I had yet to master the art of not tossing and turning like a thrice damned spin cycle in my sleep. As a guy, this was barely an issue outside of any potential morning wood. As a well endowed girl, rolling like that sometimes caused a painful and/or arousing amount of friction, as well as the sometimes awkward pains when my sleeping self tried to roll onto my stomach but was denied.

I’m like, 90% sure someone had come up with a way around these problems and if I just asked Fluttershy or Rarity I could be sleeping much more comfortably in my girl form but…I was intensely embarrassed at even the thought of bringing up the topic. Why my brain decided the embarrassment from asking about feminine sleep hygiene outweighed the relief of a good night’s sleep will forever be an enigma, but that was that.

All this rambling is to say, I was awake at an ungodly hour fresh out of a freezing shower getting ready to try and go back to sleep when Luna burst into my room like a lightning bolt.

“RANMA!” Came the full force blast of the Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Luna, are you trying to burst out my ears?!” I shouted, covering my poor abused ear drums. She didn’t acknowledge my whining as she grabbed me.

“I found out who stole your name and who bought it on the black market!” Luna said, her voice colored with both excitement and fear.

“What?! Who?!” I asked. A part of my mind warned I would probably regret knowing, but the awfulness of the ignorance I had been stewing in far surpassed that worried part of me.

“Nyarlathotep was the one who stole your name and sent you here. D’endrrah is the one who bought it,” Luna said. I blinked. Of all the cosmic horrors that could have been involved, those were probably two of the least bad options but the fact my name was possessed by what amounted to a succubus was just so on-brand for the sort of nonsense the real Ranma got into that I almost laughed.

“Do you know where we are or how we can get my name back?” I asked. Luna shook her head.

“Unfortunately not, but I thought you might find some small comfort in knowing you’re less likely to be used in something truly awful or eaten or something like that,” Luna said.

“It does take a large weight off my mind, yes,” I hugged her, “Thank you Lulu.”

Luna hugged back. At the time it didn’t cross my mind to ask how she had gotten this information or how much trouble it might bring us in the future…

Author's Note

My health has been failing for over a year now but over the past couple of months it's taken a sudden nosedive and I've been in the emergency room twice in two months. My doctors are still trying to pin down what's wrong, but haven't been able to find a diagnosis yet. The usual tests and treatments have come up blank, so now we're moving on to the unusual.

Writing like this is hard, but it also helps keep me a little grounded, even if what tiny bit I am able to write is abject garbage which won't see the light of day. I'm surprised this chapter came out as well as it did considering how much I've been struggling to put anything worthwhile down.

Updates will be infrequent until I get my health sorted out, but I'll try.

A Snarl of Thought

Romancing the (Marital) Artist

Chapter 9: A Snarl of Thought

I had learned years ago that good rarely came of lying to yourself. As I went out for a morning jog around Ponyville, I reflected on this fact and admitted to myself that I was afraid. I was afraid of these Ponies and their ceaseless goodwill. For as long as I could remember, at the core of my being was a ball of hurt, of anguish. My earliest memories were of my parents being disappointed because of me. It wasn’t until a lot later that I realized it for what it was, but a child’s empathy is sharper than many give it credit.

Perhaps my true fear wasn’t of the Ponies. No, their overwhelming love and care were the perfect balm for healing my soul. What I was afraid of, the thing that truly terrified me was the question I would soon have to confront if nothing changed: who am I under that hurt? Who am I without it?

I know it was an utterly foolish fear. What negatives could possibly come of untying the Gordian knot that was my pain? This wasn’t some Ship of Theseus issue. Even if the hurt is healed, the scars will remain. This love, of friendship or maybe more, will simply add to the greater whole that is me. Yet fear is rarely accused of being rational.

Perhaps the worst part of all this was, even knowing they would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, I still fell back into my old survival habits. I was prisoner and slave to my hurt, yet even with the keys to freedom being dangled before me; I couldn’t reach out and take them. What a damned fool I must be.

In my darker moments, I contemplated running off into the Everfree and never returning. When the truth inevitably came out, imagining the looks on their faces…my stomach lurched unpleasantly. A part of me thought that I could commit no greater sin than letting my hurt bring pain to others. I knew the truth of the matter. A burden shared is a burden made lighter and that, as my friends, the others would want to help heal me. Even still, this warped cognition of mine persisted.

I was so wrapped up in these thoughts that I almost plowed right into the trio of Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo, collectively known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders or CMC for short. Despite looking approximately 9 years old, all three were actually 15. By some weird quirk of genetics and magic, Pony Puberty didn’t start until they received their Cutie Marks. After that, they shot up like weeds, reaching full maturity within 2 years. According to Twilight, they had only gotten their Cutie Marks the week before I arrived.

“Sorry about that,” I apologized with a sheepish smile, “I was wrapped up in my own head.”

“Actually, it might be a good thing we ran into you!” Scootaloo exclaimed, her stubby wings buzzing with excitement.

“We were gonna ask AJ, but ya’ll should be good ‘nough,” Bloom agreed before I was pelted by three sets of puppy dog eyes.

“Won’t you please help us, Ranma?” They pleaded in their most cutesy voices. I was immune to such thing coming from little girls, but I would give then a B+ for the attempt.

“In the future, maybe you shouldn’t ask for help directly after telling someone they’re just a ‘good enough’ second choice,” I quipped with a teasing smile. The trio had the decency to flush with embarrassment.

“We’re sorry,” Sweetie Belle, the diplomat of the group, apologized.

“Just don’t let it happen again or I’m gonna have to learn ya about a few things, got it?” I said as I crossed my arms under my chest and nodded in agreement with myself.

“We won’t!” The CMC collectively promised.

“So, kiddos, what do you need from little old me?” I asked affably as I did some cool down stretches.

“We have our Cutie Marks! We’re considered adults now!” Scootaloo protested.

“‘When I became an adult, I put away childish things, including the fear of being thought of as childish’.” I slightly modified the quote, but it got the point across.

“What does that mean?” Scootaloo asked, her head cocked in confusion.

“I think she means that when you really grow up, you stop caring if people think you’re a kid,” Sweetie Belle guessed, looking to Ranma for approval.

“You’re close. I personally believe that a big part of truly being an adult is to have the courage to pursue the things you like the labels that come with that thing stopping you. I enjoy watching shows for little kids. There was one back home, The Magic School Bus, aimed at kids of about 8 years old that I still adore. Or to put it more simply, if you care more for the approval of your peers than your own happiness, then you are still a child in my eyes,” I told them.

“That makes sense,” Apple Bloom decided, a contemplative look on her face.

“Anyway, we got sidetracked. What do you need me for?” I inquired a second time.

“Our clubhouse got a bit damaged during the whole Tirek thing. We’ve finally got the things we need to repair it, we just need some help to carry stuff,” Sweetie explained.

“Sentencing me to twenty years of hard labor? I think I can manage that. Lead the way,” I encourage, motioning for them to do so. I knew where Sweet Apple Acres was, but not the location of their clubhouse within it.

“And if you’re not on your best behavior, we’ll give you another forty years,” Scootaloo snarked as the trio began walking.

“My, what a cruel taskmistress I seem to have gotten ensnared by. What crimes could I have possibly committed to have earned such ire? Or perhaps milady merely enjoys dangling hope before her prisoner’s eyes before snatching it away? Is that your intent? To see me in chains forevermore, saying you’d let me off with good behavior only to come up with some excuse to keep me longer?” I grinned wickedly, fully expecting my jabs to leave the girls spluttering helplessly. Indeed, two of them did succumb to that fate.

“It seems you’ve found us out, prisoner. It matters not. You are ours to do with as we please, now and until the end of time. How does it feel, to have that final glimmer of hope extinguished? Seeing the light in our prisoner’s eyes dull as the dark reality sets in…that’s what I live for,” Sweetie Belle purred as she shot me a sideways glace.

“…Rarity is a terrible influence,” I said with an amused chuckle.

“Ya’ll are both scary, Ah hope ya realize that,” Bloom quipped at us, shaking her head ruefully.

“You say the sweetest things, Apple Bloom,” Sweetie replied, her face the picture of innocence, hands clasped behind her back.

“These are my friends, ladies and gentlemen,” Scootaloo sighed, sounding like she regrets every life choice that had led her to this point.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m just a friendly acquaintance at this point,” I pointed out, which got Scootaloo to laugh for some reason.

“Firstly, if that were true, it wouldn’t make me feel better. Secondly, you’ve been in Ponyville for almost three weeks and hanging out with our sisters. I think you’ve graduated the ‘acquaintance’ stage,” Scootaloo rebutted my words, her hands lazily linked behind her head.

“Ah know you don’t get a Cutie Mark, but ya’ll can be an honorary Crusader if ya like,” Bloom offered with the other two agreeing with her statement.

“I don’t have a particular reason to refuse, other than the fact I’ll likely be busy with other things a lot of the time,” I told them as we approached their clubhouse.

“That’s fine, it’s not a full time commitment or anything, just something to say ‘you’re one of us’,” Scootaloo assured me.

“Speaking of, don’t you have another interview with Twilight tomorrow?” Sweetie asked, a simple curiosity in her gaze.

“Yeah, our primary focus is going to be the technology of our worlds. Twilight wanted something a little less likely to drive her to drink,” I told them. Personally, I was worried about how Twilight would react when she heard about Humanity’s warfare technology. Given the peoples that inhabited Equuis, I doubted they had anything comparable to nukes. Although, upon thinking about it further, Twilight might be somewhat inoculated by her exposure to the other side of that mirror.

In any event, I spent most of the rest of the day helping the CMC repair their clubhouse. Don’t get me wrong, I was no carpenter by trade. I did, however, take carpentry in high school and got the carpentry merit badge when I was a boy scout. I’m still fairly proud of how that wooden toolbox I made turned out and it was certainly enough to be getting on with in regards with the repairs of a clubhouse.

Of course, most of the actual carpentry stuff was handled by Apple Bloom. That girl was gifted. Once she surpassed the limitations of her form, and by that I mean finished her growth spurt, she’d likely be a force to be reckoned with in the carpentry world. It was almost a shame to me that her talents would likely never be seen outside of Ponyville.

Well, in the end, it didn’t matter what I thought. Apple Bloom was happy with her friends, family, and her lot in life. On my walk home, I could admit feeling a twinge of envy, but I discarded it. Envy had never helped me before and jealousy only made me feel worse. My Heart was enough of a toxic cesspool, thank you very much.

So it was that I made it home just as the sun was setting. I let the others know I was back, grabbed a bite of dinner, had a shower, and went to bed. That night I dreamt of stars collapsing and a gentle presence telling me it’ll all be OK. It was a good dream.

Author's Note

This chapter was shockingly hard to start and to end. The middle was easy, I had always intended for this chapter to involve the CMC. But finding the opening paragraph and then the words to describe the dream at the end were killing me.

Then, as if in answer to my cries of desperation, Helluva Boss episode 2 came out. Stolas' song was just exactly what I needed to hear and see to put it all together.

No brownie points for guessing who the gentle presence is.

Milestones

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 24

It was finally finished. I had a place to call my very own. I stood on my front lawn and just marveled at how wondrous it felt to be looking at my new home. My friends and two girlfriends were standing there with me. It was only right, after all. Without them, this never would’ve come to pass.

That sentiment went double for Twilight. Not only did she basically finance the thing by giving me a job, but she also put her bottomless reservoir of knowledge to use in securing me the best possible loans and repayment plans for the property the house was built on.

Of course, Pinkie being Pinkie, insisted that there be a housewarming party, hence why everyone was there. Me being an overly emotional dumbass was why everyone was still on the lawn. Getting your own place was a landmark in anyone’s life, but for me that goal had seemed so ephemeral and unobtainable, and now here I was, with keys in hand and staring down the reality of home ownership.

“I remember being the same way when I first purchased my boutique,” Rarity said in a stage whisper with an impish grin on her face. I, very maturely, favored her with a raspberry. But her prodding had the intended effect. I unlocked the front door and entered my house for the first time after its completion.

Pinkie had already set up the food and drinks so the only thing to do was explore and mingle. I know I keep harping on it, but it was still unreal to me that this was happening. The house was huge. When I had made the floor plans, I had already been intending to ask out Luna and Fluttershy, so I had made it with plenty of room to grow. As the eldest of 7 siblings in a family that moved constantly, I had lived in one too many houses that had far too little space to accommodate all of us.

I might have overcompensated somewhat, but that all depended on how the future panned out and in my mind it was better to have too much space than too little. Especially when it came to bathrooms and the kitchen. One bathroom between seven kids is nowhere near enough and my old man was insane for thinking otherwise.

As for the kitchen, mealtime between 9 people in a very confined space is going to lead to spills and fights and generally bad juju. It also leads to fights over table spots, but that’s a consideration for down the road.

As for the house itself, I don’t think it was anything special in terms of construction. It was just a very big house not unlike what one might find on Earth. It had 2 stories and a basement. Some floors were wood, some were tiles, and some were carpet. In some respects, that might make me an outlier among the others. Pinkie lives in a gingerbread house bakery, Twilight lives in a crystal tree palace, etc and so forth. Still, I couldn’t help but already love it.

Eventually the housewarming party was over and the resulting gifts had been opened and put away. Now it was just me, my girlfriends, and Thistle. We were all sitting on a rather comfortable couch with Luna and Fluttershy on either side of me and Thistle next to Fluttershy.

If there was a greater contentment than this, I could not fathom it. Two women I loved dearly and another I had also grown to care deeply about sitting next to me… May I never stop being grateful for them and the life I live.

Author's Note

I got my CPAP machine a few days ago, which is great. What's less great is the doctor in charge of my case has decided he's going on vacation until mid-June. So hopefully I can find a decent temp to adjust my pressures and get me a mask that fits. They started me off on a nose-pillow type mask, but even the super wide size still pinches my nose and I sometimes open my mouth in my sleep, which sends pressurized air through my nose and out of my mouth, which needless to say wakes me right up.

So I'm going to be asking for a full face mask. Hopefully it won't take too long to arrive.

Boredom

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 33

I was fantastically bored. Of course, I had anticipated being bored when I had agreed to be Luna’s partner to this formal event. What I hadn’t anticipated was being this agonizing variant of bored. In my experience, there are three types of boredom. The type that makes you feel lazy and slothful and not wanting to do anything, the type that makes you feel numb and yearning for something anything to happen, and finally the type where your mind is running a thousand miles an hour suggesting things you could be doing but instead you’re trapped doing the boring thing and you’re trying to focus but your brain just wouldn’t shut up.

I was currently suffering from the third type.

As if that weren’t bad enough, there was the gossip. Naturally, I was an oddity. I was clearly not a pony and I wasn’t any other species the natives of Equuis would be familiar with. I expected speculative whispers because heaven forbid anyone actually come up and ask. That being said, no matter how much I expected them, that didn’t mean I was completely unaffected by them.

On top of that, Luna was a rare enough sight at these events on her own that she was getting more than a few sideways glances. It was all I could do to keep from fidgeting.

Well, for all my complaining, it wasn’t all bad. The food was decent and my tuxedo was the most comfortable tuxedo I’d ever worn. I have had cause to wear a tux before, to school dances and work related functions. So I was surprised by how not awful this one felt. How much of that was down to Rarity’s skill and how much was down to the fact that the only tuxedo I’d ever worn before was a hand-me-down from my grandfather that had never been fit for me was anyone’s guess.

I wondered briefly if it was a blessing or a curse that everyone wanted to talk to Celestia. On the one hand, it meant Luna and I were left mostly alone. On the other hand it would have at least given us something to do. While I couldn’t tell what kind of boredom Luna was suffering from, I could tell from the ever so slightly glazed and passively pleasant look on her face that she was bored out of her skull.

As much as I could have come up with an excuse to get us out of the gathering, Celestia had made clear to Luna, who had then made clear to me that we were supposed to attend for the whole event. Why her attendance was mandatory was a matter of politics. The Minotaurs apparently wanted to petition Luna about something or other but they were taking their sweet time doing so.

As the evening wore on, the gathering began to disperse. It was only once just about everyone else was gone that the Minotaurs approached Luna. They asked her for a private audience, to which she obliged. It was understandable. She was one of the heads of state and I was a complete unknown.

Of course, this left me with even more nothing to do than the nothing to do I had had before. But everything changed when the Sun Princess approached.

“You seem to be having fun Ranma,” Celestia said by way of greeting.

“All the fun in the world, Princess,” I said dryly as she sat down next to me.

“Come now Ranma, you’re dating my sister. I think we can forego formalities,” Celestia chastised with a smile.

“Come now Celestia, I’m dating your sister. You can immolate me if you think I looked at her funny,” I replied, my voice even drier with a wiry grin. This elicited a chuckle from Celestia.

“Luna’s perfectly capable of atomizing you without her big sister looming over her shoulder,” Celestia joked back.

“One of the many perks of dating a goddess,” I drawled. I was so infinitely grateful to Celestia for letting me shoot my mouth off, for alleviating my boredom.

“Oh? And what are some of the others?” Celestia asked with faux curiosity.

“I’m afraid I’m under NDA. I can’t discuss those perks with outsiders,” I quipped.

“You know, as her older sister, I do have ways of making you talk,” Celestia smirked.

“You’ll never break me. The moon is superior,” I said with mock seriousness.

“That’s not what Agent Sweetie Drops tells me…” Celestia grinned a Cheshire grin.

“You are an evil, evil woman,” I deadpanned. Celestia tittered with amusement.

“Don’t feel too bad Ranma, very few can withstand torture without special training,” Celestia pat me on the head condescendingly.

“That makes me feel so much better,” I replied sarcastically.

“Sister, are you bullying Ranma?” When the world needed her most, Luna appeared!

“No-” Celestia tried to lie.

“Yes!” I protested.

“For shame Tia, bullying the weak and helpless,” BETRAYED! Luna smirked wickedly.

“So what did the Minotaurs want?” Celestia asked as she tried to contain her own grin. Luna groaned.

“They wanted to know if I’d extend the full moon for a few days for a festival. Why they couldn’t just make the request through normal channels…” Luna grumbled.

“Will you do it?” Celestia asked.

“I told them I’d think about it. I’d have to fill out the paperwork to let all the other foreign powers know what’s going on, I’d have to manually adjust the lunar cycle both to extend the full moon and to shift it back to its proper place, and there will be the inevitable complaints from the astronomy guild. That being said, it is, in part, a lunar festival and I don’t want to disappoint them,” Luna said.

“Well, I’m sorry they had me drag you out here over something so mundane,” Celestia apologized.

“Next time get their intentions before forcing me to sit through one of your boring ‘parties’,” Luna gave her a look.

“Boring?!” Celestia exclaimed.

“Not all of us are social butterflies, dear sister. Some of us would rather be curled up at home with a book and our herd mates,” Luna said dourly.

“Yes, yes, I’m sorry. You’re free to go home,” Celestia apologized again.

With the finish line crossed, I felt a wave of exhaustion. It was the typical aftermath of any social gathering for me. I was more than ready to get out of this penguin suit and go to bed. Maybe with a side order of Luna snuggling.

“Then we shall take our leave, Sister,” Luna said and took my hand before teleporting us back to my home.

Author's Note

Merry Christmas.

December has been wholly uneventful for me, which is good. However, it's been overcast and rainy all month, which has given me a pretty bad case of the winter blues. Oh well.

Shadows Stirring

Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 43

In a rundown, ill-reputable corner of Manehatten, there was an equally rundown and ill-reputable apartment building. As with many buildings on the so called ‘bad side’ of town, it had graffiti across much of its walls and the bricks that made up those walls were in such disrepair that it seemed the building would come down at the slightest provocation.

If someone were to keep their hood up and hide their face in such a place, no one would think it odd. Illicit deals and shameful acts that warranted such attempts at hiding your identity were common enough here. So when one such figure entered the apartment and made their way up to one of the rooms, no one thought anything of it or remarked upon it.

The figure knocked on the door in a previously agreed upon patter. The door opened to admit the cloaked figure and quickly closed behind him.

“What news brother?” A raspy hiss asked of the guest.

“Another cell has fallen to the Moon’s forces,” A similarly raspy hiss replied.

“Most troubling…” The first said, beckoning the visitor deeper into the apartment.

“What will we do your Grace? We are losing members faster than we are gaining them. If this keeps up, I fear the Children of the Formless Mother will soon be no more…” The visitor fretted.

“If only those fools hadn’t provoked the Moon so openly…but what’s done is done. We must consider carefully what we do moving forward,” The priest said solemnly, sitting down on a worn down chair.

“What can we do?” The visitor asked.

“Perhaps now that the Moon is aware of us, the time of carefully and passively increasing our ranks is past. Perhaps it is time we begin more…aggressive recruitment,” The priest mused.

“Aggressive recruitment?” The visitor repeated.

“Indeed. The Formless Mother will provide,” The priest got up and moved to a desk, beginning to write down a missive. The visitor waited patiently. Eventually the priest finished the letter and handed it to the visitor.

“Take this back to the head of your cell. Whatever you do do not let that letter fall into enemy hands. If the Moon were to discover these plans, it would be the end for all of us,” The priest said gravely. The visitor gulped but nodded.

“Now go!” The priest ordered and the visitor scrambled out the door, his precious cargo slipped into his bag as he hit the streets running. The priest watched him go, praying for the safe delivery of that letter. It wouldn’t be overstating it to say the very fate of this world lay in the outcome of this one action.

“May the Formless Mother watch over him…” The priest said solemnly. He then left the window and got to work. If this plan was to come to fruition, there was much work to be done. There was preparation to see to, contacts to make, favors to collect on, and so much more. Even if it would all be for naught if that letter fell into enemy hands…

Author's Note

Actual plot movement?! In my slice of life?!

Winter has come and as usual, I have become very cold and very lethargic. Moving preparations are progressing apace. Despite my lethargy, I've somehow been able to force myself to start a workout routine that involves 10-15 minutes on the treadmill in the morning and then 10-15 minutes on a stationary bike in the evening. I've been able to keep it up for almost 2 weeks so far.